1. My name is Mr. Candy. My what a nice looking group of students. Who can tell me what I'm holding in my hand?
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2. Uh, your nab?
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3. Yeah.
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4. No, my right hand.
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5. Is it a candy bar?
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6. It's more than just a candy bar. It's the future of your school.
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7. Now, who'd like a candy bar?
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8. Who would like me to stop 100 candy bars?
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9. Because I've got to be with you today.
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10. And I plan on giving them all out.
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11. But there's a candy. I'm not giving them to you to eat.
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12. I'm giving them to you to sell.
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13. Uh, selling candy is a fun way to help yourself in the school.
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14. All right, losers, remember, you are competing against other classes. And I'll be damned if my class is going to lose.
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15. Hey, yo, homie. How much give me for that?
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16. There's my hair. Same work, nothing, man. But, uh, I will give you one else radio.
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17. Well, I come to Kuleo has to, like, sell stuff.
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18. I thought it was like a big rich rap star.
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19. Yeah. It's like, all these rap dudes always get ripped off by the man.
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20. Like, that sucks. They had to find the man, you know, like, find out where he lives.
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21. You have to go beat the crap out of him.
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22. Yeah, really. Oh, check it out.
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23. Yeah.
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24. Young Kuleo.
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25. Kuleo.
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26. I am Kuleo.
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27. Kuleo.
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28. Kuleo.
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29. Kuleo.
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30. Kuleo.
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31. That's kind of reminds me of that fanfart and sun show.
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32. Yeah, yeah.
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33. I remember that show.
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34. I guess I'll put it.
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35. The man. The man.
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36. I'm going to have a heart attack.
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37. Isn't the big one.
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38. Weeley, I'm coming to see you.
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39. Yeah.
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40. He was cool.
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41. Like that show, because there were like, lots of garbage everywhere.
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42. Yeah.
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43. The father of the black dude is like, I grew up in my hair and are like a really big afro.
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44. Like, three feet tall and stuff.
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45. And I cut out a big hole in the middle, like just to keep stuff, you know?
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46. Yeah.
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47. I could put some nachos in there, you know, my keys, you know, stuff like that.
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48. Yeah, I was cool.
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49. You ought to just like, keep all that stuff in your butt hole, leave us.
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50. Oh, yeah.
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51. Yeah.
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52. Now, our candy bars are personalized with your school's name on the wrapper.
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53. And they're a real bargain at only $2 each.
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54. Heck, they practically sell themselves.
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55. Now, what if I told you that the richest man in the world.
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56. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
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57. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
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58. Whoa, you two seem to be real, know it all.
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59. Why don't you tell us what you're going to say when a customer says no?
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60. Uh, I'd say, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
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61. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
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62. I got my best out.
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63. You even know, though.
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64. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
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65. Well, I wish you luck, but it seems out of time.
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66. Yeah.
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67. Yeah?
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68. Are schools making a sell candy?
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69. Yeah.
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70. We're loothers.
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71. What in the hell kind of sales approach is that?
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72. You boys couldn't sell a dollar for 50 cents.
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73. They're $2, sir.
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74. Yeah, don't try to rip us off.
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75. What, wipe?
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76. Yeah.
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77. Hmm.
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78. Well, I've only got $2.
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79. Buy one from me.
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80. No way, buy one from me.
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81. Get it out.
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82. Get out of the way.
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83. I'll like sell mine for half price, sir.
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84. Yeah, yeah, me too.
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85. Yeah, price.
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86. Well, now you're talking.
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87. There, why don't I take one from each of you?
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88. You boys better start charging full price.
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89. I'm sure your school can afford to lose money.
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90. What reeks in here?
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91. All right, it's this show.
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92. Stick around, be with some butthead.
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93. We'll be back.
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94. Felling stuff sucks.
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95. Yeah.
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96. Hey, bev, I'll buy one of your candy bars for a dollar.
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97. No way.
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98. They're $2, bottle.
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99. Hey, then can you loan me a dollar?
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100. No way, because then you'll have $2 and I won't have any.
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101. Come on, bev, I'll buy one from you.
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102. That way you'll sell a candy bar, plus you'll have $2.
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103. Okay.
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104. Cool.
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105. Yeah.
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106. Let me have some.
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107. Come on.
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108. No way.
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109. I'll sell you one for $2.
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110. Okay.
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111. This town sucks.
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112. We're never gonna sell any candy.
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113. Hey buddy, you shouldn't try one of these.
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114. I got peanuts.
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115. It's really good.
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116. Oh yeah?
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117. Cool.
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118. Hey, bev, I want to buy a candy bar for me.
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119. Okay.
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120. One by one for me.
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121. Okay.
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122. Celan Canadaриott has had a cool ghost though.
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123. Why don't you get a noticing plan?
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124. He's weak.
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125. He's weak.
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126. He's weak.
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127. He's weak.
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128. Yeah.
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129. Oh, check it out.
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130. Don Henley.
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131. I didn't know he was a wolf.
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132. You didn't?
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133. Where have you been, leave us?
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134. He's a total wolf.
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135. Really?
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136. Yeah.
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137. Anytime you see a dude on TV and he's like trying to save some forest or something, it means
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138. he's a total wolfie.
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139. I mean, really?
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140. Yeah.
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141. Let me see.
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142. Staying here the wolf.
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143. Let's see.
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144. Well, Ted Danson.
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145. Yeah, if it wasn't.
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146. Yeah.
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147. And don't forget Jackson Brown.
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148. Look at that.
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149. He's like fiddling around with a dead guy.
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150. Boo.
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151. That's a scary one.
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152. What if after I die, like some guy comes around and fiddles around with my weiner?
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153. So what?
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154. Be this you'd be dead.
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155. It doesn't matter.
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156. Yeah, guess I'll get this.
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157. If I were without the ocean with a dead chick, I'd probably kiss her.
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158. I'd kiss a dead chick right here.
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159. Yeah.
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160. So what I'd add.
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161. But that's kind of messed up on it.
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162. I know.
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163. I was just kidding, be this.
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164. I'm sure probably serious.
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165. Well, no.
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166. Excellent job, class.
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167. Hey, buddy.
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168. Remember that dollar I borrowed to you?
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169. Uh, oh yeah.
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170. I remember it.
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171. Yeah.
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172. Give me two.
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173. Um, oh yeah.
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174. I like, uh, need it back.
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175. Well, boys, let's see.
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176. The big sellers.
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177. How'd you do?
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178. We fooled every one of them, dude.
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179. Yeah, they practically sold themselves.
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180. Yeah.
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181. Well, maybe there's hope for you.
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182. Yeah.
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183. Don't touch me, ass wipe.
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184. So.
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185. Where's the money?
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186. Right here, dude.
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187. There you go.
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188. That's it.
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189. There'd better be a hell of a lot more money than that, boys.
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190. Nope.
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191. That's all of it, dude.
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192. Two dollars.
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193. Yeah.
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194. You can count it if you want.
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195. I don't believe you.
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196. I want you to give me everything you've gotten your pocket.
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197. Hey, Beavis, he wants what's in your pocket.
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198. He's a pocket fisherman.
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199. Oh, no, you're not going to pull that again.
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200. It took me six months to get another job.
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201. Now, give me the rest of the money a little twerker.
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202. Ah, he's trying to touch my waiter.
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203. Let go, Burmert.
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204. Kick him in the nads, Beavis.
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205. You two, you little farder.
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206. What the hell are you doing?
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207. This is my class.
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208. I do the ass kicking around here.
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209. Wait your turn, jarhead.
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210. Ah!
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211. You just made a fatal mistake, Mr. Candy-ass.
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212. I hope you know something about hand-to-hand combat.
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213. Oh, you're going down, soldier, boy.
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214. Oh!
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215. Oh!
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216. Kick him in the nads.
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217. Oh!
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218. Whoa.
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219. That's kind of rocks.
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220. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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221. Just like long hair and drum.
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222. The pain in the pain.
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223. Yeah.
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224. You can't lose with that.
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225. There should be more bands like this.
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226. There's about a million bands like this, bevis.
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227. I know, I know there needs to be more.
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228. There should be one of these speed metal bands like everywhere.
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229. Like in the mall, you know, like in the store.
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230. Like down on the corner and stuff like that, yeah.
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231. I guess that would be pretty cool.
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232. You should have like something in your house where you just like,
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233. turn it on and see a band like this and like turn it up really loud.
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234. So that's a good idea, bevis.
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235. You think they would have come up with something like that by now?
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236. Yeah, yeah.
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237. I should like go to shop class and like work on it.
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238. Oh, check out all that money.
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239. Yeah, yeah, money, money, money.
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240. I wonder if all that money is like the band's money
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241. or if they just had to like go rent it to make this video.
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242. We should like rent some money and then go like, just band it on stuff.
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243. Yeah.
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244. You're full of good ideas today, bevis.
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245. Yeah, yeah.
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246. Easy.
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247. Listen to me once in a while.
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248. Dumbass.
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249. Bevis, I got a good idea.
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250. Shut up.
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251. I have to leave.
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