Beavis and Butt-head 5x18

Adam Welsh as Stewart Stevenson (voice) • Bobcat Goldthwait as Bum (voice) • Toby Huss as Todd Ianuzzi (voice)

When the boys decide to throw a party so they can 'cop a feel,' it is almost ruined when Stewart and his friends show up, but then Todd arrives and trashes the house.

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1. One unidentified official claimed that quote,

2. These parties were known for their wild,

3. rowdy behavior, and any women in attendance

4. should have expected that the men would tear their clothes off and cop a field.

5. Okay, Bob, can it make me wish I'd join the military?

6. Hey, Beavis, we should like throw a party.

7. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we have like cake and stuff.

8. I'm like, no dumb-ass, we should have like a party with chicks.

9. And you know, cop a field.

10. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

11. Why do you get these ideas?

12. They come from my wiener.

13. We're gonna score.

14. I want you to open your eyes, and I want you to look at me.

15. Oh, baby.

16. Do you think you could do me?

17. Oh, I see you brought some friends.

18. Oh, baby.

19. I like three of these chicks in pink.

20. Yeah, me too.

21. Yeah, and uh, four of the ones in black, please.

22. And I'm like, all of them, please.

23. It's like you guys are.

24. I haven't seen this video in like a really long time.

25. Yeah, it's been a long time.

26. I kind of miss the blocks.

27. Yeah.

28. This dude looks like one of those drunk business men at those

29. crokey okey bars.

30. Can we have me?

31. Can we have me?

32. Remember that time?

33. We were looking in the window.

34. Can we have it?

35. Big fat blob.

36. He was going, I'm crazy.

37. Yeah.

38. I don't remember when that Chinese dude got up, and I sang.

39. You ain't nothing but humbob tying all the time.

40. Anything, love me tender, love me true.

41. Never let me go.

42. Actually, I want to open that up high fucking.

43. Can't say that, be the...

44. Today, I want to wrap a little bit about sexism.

45. I wonder if anyone can give me an example of sexism.

46. Does anyone have anything they'd like to share?

47. Yeah.

48. Like, uh, we're going to have a party.

49. Yeah.

50. And we're going to rock.

51. Yeah.

52. And we especially want chicks to come, so we can like, uh...

53. You know?

54. Good job, guys.

55. That's exactly what I'm talking about.

56. Anybody else?

57. This party's going to kick ass.

58. Yeah.

59. Yeah.

60. Uh...

61. We're going to have a party.

62. Yeah.

63. I'm going to score me.

64. So, how much party stuff can we buy with this much money?

65. None, but I'll give you some new sports from our Toppins bar.

66. Cool.

67. Yeah.

68. And I got some bail donuts.

69. Don't let's roll.

70. This party's going to rock.

71. We need one more thing, dude.

72. We need some hard stuff.

73. I got some hard stuff.

74. Yeah.

75. Not that dumb-ass.

76. Talking about booze.

77. You know, liquor.

78. What's up, dude?

79. Out back.

80. Yeah.

81. Uh...

82. Can we have some of that?

83. Now, you have...

84. Eli Kylam's smokers.

85. No.

86. We got some donuts.

87. Have what, Eli here.

88. And for your donuts.

89. The hard stuff rules.

90. Yeah.

91. We're going to score.

92. Yeah.

93. Is this the episode where they say cool and sucks?

94. I love this one.

95. Stay tuned.

96. Hey, buddy.

97. Can I set this down?

98. My hands are getting tired.

99. No way, Biva.

100. When the chicks walk in,

101. they need to see it in your hand so they know you're cool.

102. It's them.

103. It's a chicks.

104. It's a chicks.

105. Hey, buddy.

106. Should I pretend like I'm drinking it?

107. Hi, guys.

108. Uh...

109. What the hell are you doing here?

110. Time to party down, dudes.

111. I'm psyched.

112. Hope you don't mind.

113. I brought some buds from the youth group.

114. Wow, you were right, Stewart.

115. This party kicks rear.

116. You guys will have to come to our loaves and fishes cook out next week, deal?

117. Uh...

118. No.

119. Yeah.

120. I'll pinch a little for you, though.

121. Okay.

122. Okay.

123. Maybe McGiver could beat Michael in a fight.

124. But it doesn't matter because nobody's smarter than a computerized car.

125. It does so matter.

126. Because without Michael,

127. kids just a normal car.

128. Oh, yeah, right.

129. A normal talking car?

130. Right.

131. Whoa.

132. It's Todd.

133. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Todd.

134. You were really here.

135. You were really here.

136. Yeah.

137. Haven't gone.

138. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

139. This party looks more like the daycare center for little baby girls.

140. Hey, hey, hey.

141. Want some hard stuff?

142. Give me that!

143. Yeah.

144. This crap is warm.

145. Get some cold stuff.

146. Uh...

147. I tell you what, ladies.

148. If you leave right now,

149. I'll let you go without kicking your asses.

150. Uh...

151. What?

152. We got some women coming over.

153. Your party's over, man.

154. Uh...

155. Okay.

156. It's cold, dudes.

157. And my house I've got a great new D&D video game.

158. Yeah!

159. Oh, right!

160. Yeah!

161. Yeah!

162. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to get wild?

163. Yeah!

164. Are you ready to rock?

165. I want to ask you one question, are you ready to rock?

166. I can't hear you!

167. I can't hear you!

168. One more time.

169. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...

170. Okay.

171. Where are these guys?

172. Uh...

173. Jiva Flithered?

174. Where you welcome?

175. Jesus!

176. Uh, Lizard!

177. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty good at that.

178. Yeah, I had to be one of those guys.

179. I'm not gonna do that.

180. Jiva, you would fuck the audience with like, start booing

181. and then the band would kick your ass.

182. Shut up, buddy!

183. You know what, my teachers told me I had special abilities.

184. Got me half the speed of us.

185. But hold on, she just said that because you're stupid.

186. Oh really?

187. These guys aren't too bad for one of those Jesus bands.

188. Yeah.

189. They don't really sound like Christian Rock though.

190. No, I mean like, you know, for one of those bands that has Jesus in their name...

191. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's like about 900 of those bands.

192. Yeah.

193. But Jesus and Mary Joseph, like 900 foot Jesus, you know.

194. Yeah.

195. And most of them fuck.

196. Yeah.

197. Yeah.

198. Yeah.

199. Where else did my life?

200. Oh, yeah.

201. Okay, here we go, another video.

202. The Linamus.

203. Yeah.

204. Yeah, peel out burn rubber, yeah.

205. Hey, tear ass.

206. Yeah, fight, fight, fight.

207. Yeah, hit him.

208. Kick the pumpkin.

209. Kick it off, the hippies are gonna smash the pumpkin.

210. No.

211. Hippies never break stuff.

212. What about that Gallagher dude?

213. Oh yeah.

214. He's like really irritating and he's not very funny.

215. Yeah, yeah, really.

216. Well, that's pretty cool because they start mashing stuff.

217. Yeah, like you have to sit through all the stuff that doesn't make any sense.

218. Like, he starts breaking stuff and like throwing stuff into the audience.

219. Yeah.

220. Okay.

221. Well, that's good shaving cream on the van.

222. Yeah, throwing eggs.

223. Very nice.

224. Oh my god.

225. That's like, I don't understand toilet paper in someone's house.

226. That's like, you're just doing them a favor.

227. Yeah, really.

228. Now that someone with toilet paper in my house, I've been wiping my butt with newspaper for about a month.

229. Yeah.

230. I've been using this washcloth.

231. Oh yeah, I've been using that same washcloth man.

232. Whoa.

233. Todd is cool.

234. Yeah.

235. Broke everything.

236. That must have been a cool party.

237. Yeah.

238. Maybe next time we'll let us stay.

239. Hey, hey girls.

240. Todd.

241. Yeah, I've had a good time at our party.

242. You just want to let you know that, guys, I'm going 50 bucks for expenses.

243. I will be five later.

244. Take it off.

245. He must have had a really good time.

246. Yeah.

247. Well, it's a throw another party.

248. Yeah.

249. It's a good thing we had plenty of hard stuff.

250. We just need to make sure it's cold next time.

251. Yeah.

252. Mhm.

253. Mhm.

254. Mhm.

255. Mhm.

256. Mhm.

257. Mhm.

258. Hey, no shoes, no shirt, no service.

259. Those are the rules.

260. Get the hell out of my store.

261. Mhm.

262. Mhm.

263. Mhm.

264. Mhm.

265. It's the late.

266. The ass-ype I will beat.

267. Leave.

268. You just like ass-ype?

269. You said house-ype.

270. I'm like ass-ype to make money.

271. Mhm.

272. This is so cares, baby.

273. Oh, anything you can get your gun.

274. I think this is one of those top of violent things, and all like enough is enough.

275. They really should, you know, stop the violence.

276. Sometimes it like hurts, you know, it's like maybe you know like if they give peace for a chance, and like, like, ow, put it.

277. Shut up, be with us. I'm trying to watch this.

278. Damn it, put it.

279. Damn it, be with us.

280. Damn it, put it.

281. I'm just trying to say like, you know, like if I stop the violence, you can hit me.

282. Ow!

283. Like a damn wolf, be with us. I'm gonna get mid evil on your ass.

284. I'm in.

285. I am.