Beavis and Butt-head 5x11

Directed by Mike Judge

Tracy Grandstaff as Daria Morgendorffer (voice)

The boys become security guards at the mall for Mr. Van Driesen's career day.

Request examples:

!req Beavis and Butt-head 5x11 [02:32]
!req Beavis and Butt-head 5x11 [Beavis and Butt-head 5x11]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Beavis and Butt-head 5x11 [10-11]; !req Beavis and Butt-head 5x11 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. I'm extremely happy to announce that today is Highland High's career day.

2. Now this is a wonderful opportunity for you guys.

3. This will give you a chance to interface with working professionals and learn about their

4. exciting and rewarding job field.

5. Does it look like going to be on a test or something?

6. This is a live test but hit.

7. Please raise your hand if you have a question.

8. And as an incentive, everyone will be excused from one day of school in order to observe

9. their vocation of choice.

10. Cool.

11. Yeah, the vocation kick ass.

12. The kick ass.

13. Yeah.

14. Yeah.

15. Yeah.

16. Check this out, buddy.

17. You could be saving money along with some skulls to family and friends.

18. Yeah.

19. I keep talking about big savings but I just don't see it.

20. Oh no.

21. Oh boy.

22. How did this ever happen?

23. Yeah, really.

24. This is like just a bunch of bungholes.

25. Yeah, because, well, that's a brand of bitch from Beverly Hills 90235M781234519265M210.

26. See if it's next time you're talking about that show.

27. Just say Beverly Hills and forget about the numbers, okay?

28. Oh, okay.

29. So, like, why the hell is she hanging out with these voices?

30. Yeah, I thought it like, if you're a bitch, be able to like something more hardcore.

31. I think sometimes if you're a bitch, it's like, you listen to crap like this.

32. Yeah, maybe it's like, she doesn't even like it.

33. But she just like plays this stuff just to piss people off.

34. Yeah.

35. Bitches are cool.

36. Bitches are cool.

37. I hate this guy like familiar.

38. That's a guy.

39. Remember when we saw those naked movies at your uncle's house?

40. That's a guy that was in him right there.

41. How do you know, Davis?

42. I recognize him.

43. That's him.

44. That's a guy who was in those naked movies.

45. It's like, you're like, you know, like doing a...

46. You know, you're looking at that guy's face when they're all that porn action going

47. on.

48. Well, you were probably looking at his wiener.

49. Come at me.

50. No, I wasn't.

51. I was looking like, around his wiener.

52. He's like, I guess he's like in a brand or something.

53. No.

54. He's like, I'm probably just like, keep some around because he can get chicks.

55. I don't think I get to be a naked movie.

56. He's just like a big fat ugly slump.

57. Yeah.

58. Well, you're almost there, Davis.

59. All you need to do is just like get fat.

60. Really?

61. How do I get big and fat?

62. I don't know.

63. I'm getting sick and tired of dudes with things like this.

64. Yeah, I'm like, I'm almost every damn video you see has like some guy singing like this.

65. Yeah.

66. It's like he's trying to be alternative.

67. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

68. Yeah, it's like that.

69. And it sucks.

70. I think he's trying to moral lady.

71. Flee markets are cool.

72. Yeah.

73. Hey, boy, is interested in the printed page?

74. You got anything with naked chicks?

75. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with big hooters.

76. Uh, no.

77. We do mostly educational and technical manuals.

78. Who's gonna buy that crap?

79. Yeah, really.

80. Davis, but head.

81. You're supposed to be exploring career opportunities.

82. These jobs are stupid.

83. Yeah.

84. Everyone like works in a booth.

85. These people don't work in booths.

86. They're here to answer questions and help you plan your future.

87. Your life after graduation?

88. Well, if you guys don't pick a career venture, and we'll let you skip a day of school next

89. week.

90. Uh, skip school?

91. Yeah, skip school.

92. Yeah.

93. Yeah.

94. Uh, we like need a career or something?

95. Yeah.

96. Help us get out of school.

97. You fellas think you got what it takes for security work?

98. Do we get to kick some ass?

99. Yeah.

100. Do we get tathers and tear gas?

101. Hell no.

102. I work at the mall, video surveillance.

103. Basically, they pay me to watch TV all day.

104. Well, cool.

105. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, we could do that.

106. Yeah.

107. That's not gonna be cool.

108. Coming up next, Butthead helps an old lady across Snake River Canyon.

109. Stay tuned.

110. Okay, fellas, very simple.

111. All you have to do is watch these screens.

112. Cool.

113. Yeah, hey, hey, where's the remote?

114. Hey, mellow out.

115. If you spot any unusual activity, you come and get me immediately.

116. I gotta go secure the food court.

117. Uh, okay, dude.

118. Yeah, okay, we got another control.

119. Yeah.

120. These show fuck.

121. Yeah, hey, hey, change it to something cool.

122. I'm trying.

123. There's nothing good on these channels all suck.

124. Yeah.

125. Really?

126. Let's go out and bust somebody or something.

127. Yeah, let's secure them all.

128. Hey, Butthead, people respect the badge.

129. Yeah.

130. Cause it like gives us permission to kick their ass and stuff.

131. Chicks like a man in a uniform.

132. Yeah.

133. Yeah.

134. Check this out.

135. Excuse me, ma'am.

136. Yes?

137. I'm like security.

138. I'm like, I'm gonna have to ask you to, you know, assume the position.

139. Yeah, hey, hey, ass-o.

140. If you lay a hand on me, I'll sue your ass.

141. Whoa.

142. Hey, Butthead, hey, hey, hey, hey.

143. Let's look for some crimes or something.

144. Yeah.

145. Uh, excuse me, sir.

146. Did you pay for that?

147. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

148. If you just cooperate, I'll make a lot of you there in both of us, okay?

149. Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

150. Who me?

151. Could you step over here for a minute, please?

152. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

153. We just like to talk to you for a minute, please.

154. Could you step over here?

155. Yeah, me.

156. This is gonna be cool.

157. Me.

158. Me.

159. Oh, check it out, Butthead, it's an Audi.

160. That's not an Audi, Beavers.

161. There's two of them.

162. See, it's an Nipples.

163. Those are Nipples, Butthead.

164. Look how low they are.

165. No way, Beavers.

166. That's just because she doesn't have any legs or a butt.

167. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

168. Inside, Snipples can be low.

169. Just look at your mom.

170. Yeah, yeah, I guess they are Nipples, man.

171. Whoa, check out that black dude.

172. Yeah, he's gonna save the day.

173. Oh, yeah, yeah.

174. Check it out.

175. Check him in there.

176. My god, my god, won't he?

177. Yeah.

178. But dude's like saying, damn it, quit messing with my head and go get my legs.

179. Yeah.

180. Check it out, Butthead.

181. A slot.

182. Yeah.

183. Your mother is a slot.

184. That's not a bosser.

185. That's a Bea.

186. Whoa, that dude's got a pet, Bea.

187. Yeah, that's pretty cool, yeah.

188. He's trying to be a cheaty-degos, ding-dee-bo.

189. Hey, hey, hey, say good boy, say good, say good man, the boss, go.

190. Yeah.

191. Okay, good night, little dude.

192. Hey, I'm gonna bar.

193. Oh, what the hell are those punks doing?

194. Uh, did you pay for that, man?

195. Yes.

196. Can I see your seat, please?

197. Can I see your slip?

198. Excuse me?

199. Can we like Frisku?

200. Yeah, yeah, you can be too.

201. I don't think so.

202. What are you doing away from your post?

203. Let me handle this.

204. Did you purchase that, ma'am?

205. Yes, I did.

206. I apologize, ma'am.

207. I'm gonna have to ask you to assume the position.

208. It looks like a full cavity search.

209. Oh.

210. Yeah.

211. White trash, Renekot, piece of...

212. Huh.

213. Huh.

214. Huh.

215. This is actually cool.

216. Yeah.

217. Huh.

218. Huh.

219. Huh.

220. You're just one of those sneaker ads where like those basketball players sit around on a barbershop.

221. Uh, yeah.

222. Yeah, only it's like a bunch of white guys and white music.

223. Yeah.

224. It's the butt white music.

225. Hey, where'd that cat come from?

226. Uh, I think it came out as a nose.

227. Oh, man.

228. Is that supposed to be funny?

229. Uh, it's supposed to be.

230. What about funny if it came out of his butt?

231. Why is that?

232. How come it like...

233. If it comes out of his nose, it's not that funny, but like...

234. If it comes out of his butt, it's funny.

235. Why is that?

236. Well, it's because like your butt has a crack in it.

237. Oh, yeah.

238. What a...

239. What a...

240. What a...

241. I hit it when he got to the barber and it's like he starts cutting her hair and then he goes...

242. So how's that?

243. Yeah.

244. I usually say it sucks.

245. Now, shut up and cut my hair before I stick that comb up your butt.

246. You know, butt head.

247. Maybe that's why you get all those sucky haircuts.

248. Maybe you should try being a little nicer.

249. Leave it.

250. I'm gonna shove a comb up your butt.

251. My hair looks cool.

252. I'm gonna...