- 1. "All of them had hair of gold
like their mother".
- 2. The youngest one liked girls!
- 3. "Here's the story, of
a man named Brady".
- 4. "Who was busy rearing three
boys of his own".
- 5. "They were four men,
living all together".
- 6. But they didn't sleep alone!
- 7. Hey Butt-Head,
look what I found yesterday.
- 8. - Whoa, where did you find it?
- Anderson's house.
- 9. - Let's burn it.
- No way, choad smoker!
- 10. We can buy stuff
with these things.
- 11. You can, like, go to the Olympics
and buy mountain bikes and cars and stuff.
- 12. Can you buy BB guns?
- 13. - I think so.
- We're there dude.
- 14. "... the Brady..."
- 15. Ooh, oh! That's the good thing
about them 'possum innards.
- 16. Still good the next day.
- 17. Look at this.
- 18. - What a bunch of crap.
- 19. These guys played at the
state fair last year.
- 20. Yeah. Remember? Right
before the pig races.
- 21. Yeah. Remember that one with
the big nads that hung way down?
- 22. - Yeah, you mean the bass player?
- No Beavis, I'm talking about the pigs.
- 23. Oh, sorry.
- 24. - You're pretty funny, Beavis.
- 25. I heard these girls bang elves.
- 26. - Hey Beavis, would you bangle her?
- 27. Why does she keep looking up?
- 28. Yeah, look over here.
- 29. These are the kind of
girls that won't talk to us.
- 30. Yeah, these are a
bunch of rich chicks.
- 31. Yeah, they are
afraid of our love.
- 32. Let's buy some animals.
- 33. Yeah, that would be cool.
- 34. Credit cards are cool.
- 35. Well, I sure am
looking forward to this.
- 36. All the old boys are
gonna be here this year.
- 37. Dick, Peter, Rod, Johnson...
- 38. I have even heard a rumour that old
John Thomas might show up this time.
- 39. Where is his butt?
- 40. Excuse me, can I help you
boys with something?
- 41. Yeah, I wanto to buy this thing.
- 42. This "thing" sells for $2,400.
- 43. Now, why don't you boys just...
- 44. I'll take two of them, then.
- 45. Look, if you don't want
me to call security, then...
- 46. Oh, I see.
- 47. Well, would you like
anything else today?
- 48. Yeah, we want some dogs.
- 49. Okay. Well, we have
this wonderful golden retriever here.
- 50. He is 100% pure-bred and pedigree.
- 51. He comes from a long
line of award winning retrievers,
- 52. and makes an excellent hunting dog.
- 53. I can show you his papers if you...
- 54. - Look, he's got a boner.
- We'll take him.
- 55. Okay. Will there be
anything else today?
- 56. Yeah, cats.
- 57. Tell me y'all don't got us a room
on the first floor, close to the bar,
- 58. and you and I are gonna tangle.
- 59. I think we can accommodate you, sir.
Cash or charge?
- 60. I believe I'll use the old plastic.
- 61. Do you sell any dead animals?
- 62. No. Well, actually I take that back.
- 63. We do have a couple of
chinchillas in the back
- 64. that didn't quite make
it through shipping.
- 65. I'm sure we can
cut you a real good deal.
- 66. Cool.
- 67. Dammit!
- 68. Dammit!
Where the hell is my credit card?
- 69. Dammit!
- 70. I'm gonna miss the opening ceremonies.
- 71. Hey! These dogs are homosexuals.
- 72. Okay, that comes to $6,275 sir.
- 73. And how would
you like to pay for this?
- 74. With this thing.
- 75. Dammit! Dammit, where the hell is it?
- 76. We don't even have enough cash
to get home!
- 77. Say, honey, weren't you using
it to get into the toolshed,
- 78. after those boys locked you out?
- 79. Sir, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.
- 80. Well, don't worry, dear.
There's always next year.
- 81. Welcome to the credit world, dude.
- 82. - That was cool, that was cool.
- That was cool, that was cool.
- 83. Whoa! That's cool.
- 84. - Fire is cool.
- Yeah, fire is cool.
- 85. - Cool! It's dead.
- It's flat.
- 86. Dead animals are cool.
- 87. This is that guy with
all those last names.
- 88. Hey Butt-Head, how many
last names do you have?
- 89. Just one, dude.
- 90. Head.
- 91. That was cool.
- 92. This guy really does suck.
- 93. And he's white.
- 94. - What a whiner.
- Yeah, this guy is always complaining.
- 95. I guess I would complain
too if I sucked.
- 96. - Yeah, how come you don't complain?
- Shut up, bunghole.
- 97. - Hey Beavis, what does that say?
- It says, uh... uh...
- 98. Pop... Pop Tarts.
- 99. I like the strawberry ones.
- 100. Those are cool.
- 101. No little girl of mine
is giving no $100
- 102. to no communist "love-in" campaign
and that's that!
- 103. But daddy, by sending in...
- 104. Just $25 a month.
- 105. You can feed and clothe and
educate an entire family.
- 106. Why don't those people
just get credit cards?
- 107. Then they can eat
all they wanted.
- 108. - Maybe they're stupid.
- 109. Hey, what are we gonna
do with all these animals?
- 110. Let's take 'em to
- 111. Yeah, it's the least we could do.
- 112. - Keep the birds, though.
- 113. These birds are cool.
- 114. That was cool.
- 115. Polly want an Alka Seltzer?
- 116. - That dude looks pissed.
- 117. - Yes!
- 118. Soundgarden kicks ass!
- 119. These guys are cool.
- 120. Hey Butt-Head, check this out.
I can sing just like this guy.
- 121. I'm gonna break my...
- 122. I'm gonna break my rusty cage.
- 123. That was pretty cool, Beavis.
- 124. It's that old dude with a pitchfork.
- 125. Yeah, that would be cool
if he, like, tripped,
- 126. and the pitchfork
would go right in his stomach.
- 127. Settle down, Beavis,
you're gonna soil your drawers.