1. NO
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2. Bueno.
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3. Recuerdan por favor, clase.
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4. Siempre contestan en Español. ¿Bueno?
(always answer in Spanish, okay?
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5. ¿Señor Butt-Head,
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6. cómo es Juan?
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7. Burritos?
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8. No, no, no.
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9. ¿Cómo es Juan?
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10. ¿Cómo es Juan?
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11. - Guacamole.
- No, no. ¿Señor Beavis,
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12. cómo es Juan?
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13. - Spaghetti.
- Spaghetti?
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14. Spaghetti?
That's Italian, you moron.
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15. Dammit! You idiots have been in this
class for almost a whole school year,
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16. and the only Spanish you know
is what you learned at Taco Bell.
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17. And Beavis can't
even get that right.
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18. I'm gonna give you little bastards
just ten seconds
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19. to come up with
a sentence in Spanish,
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20. and if you can't, you're both
going to the principal's office
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21. and you're both flunking.
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22. Well, I'm waiting.
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23. Rendo-pordo-curdoh-nadava-duv-duv-dug ...
Rico Suave.
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24. Principal's office, now!
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25. Taco Supreme.
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26. Get out! Now!
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27. What the hell is this crap?
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28. Mine has more bumps.
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29. Hey Beavis, this guy
sounds like you.
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30. Shut up, fartknocker.
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31. That dude is wearing
a Yamaha.
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32. He is a loser.
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33. - And a pansy.
- Yeah.
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34. This guy sucks.
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35. Push the little pansies
and make 'em come up.
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36. Push the little pansies
and make 'em come up.
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37. That was cool.
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38. - These guys got no future.
- Yeah.
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39. Check it out, it's Corky.
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40. - Push this.
- Yeah, push this.
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41. Whoa.
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42. She said "uh".
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43. I'm already up.
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44. - Is this a commercial?
- Yeah.
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45. It's a commercial for
MTV's House Of Butts.
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46. She sings better than
Cindy Crawford.
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47. Yeah,
it's high noon on my sundial.
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48. I like music.
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49. - She said "cream".
- Yeah.
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50. Excuse me, Beavis,
I have to go spank my monkey.
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51. Whoa,
that was cool.
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52. It really does happen.
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53. - Okay, Armstrong.
- Here.
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54. - Armiho.
- Present.
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55. - Bacca.
- Yo.
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56. - Butkis.
- Here.
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57. Dammit, what's wrong
with you two?
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58. We've been in school
over seven months now,
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59. and every single day
when I call Daniel Butkis's name,
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60. you guys have to laugh.
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61. Is it really still that funny?
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62. Doesn't it ever get old?
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63. Are you gonna laugh
for the rest of your lives
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64. every time someone
says the name Butkis?
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65. That does it!
Principal's office, now!
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66. Therefore, we can say that any
two amoeba are identical twins,
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67. since they all have
the same genetic makeup.
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68. There all the same sex
and can reproduce by themselves.
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69. So, all sperm cells contain
either an X-chromosome
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70. or a Y-chromosome,
and...
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71. She said sperm.
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72. Depending on which sperm cell
fertilises the egg...
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73. I said, depending on which
sperm cell fertilises the egg,
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74. the zygote will be
either male or female.
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75. Shut up!
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76. McVicker's office, now!
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77. Yes!
The Butthole Surfers!
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78. Yeah!
The Butthole Surfers rule.
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79. - Look it's Flea! It's Flea!
- Yeah! Yeah!
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80. - Flea, Flea.
- Yeah!
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81. Flea is cool!
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82. Animation is cool.
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83. Butthole Surfers kick ass.
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84. Oh, you guys
think this is funny?
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85. You've been to
four classes today,
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86. and you've been
sent here four times.
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87. And this laughing thing.
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88. What the hell is
with this laughing thing?
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89. All the teachers
are sick of it.
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90. Mr Sherman,
your history teacher,
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91. says he's completely given up
on trying to teach your class
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92. about the Gay Nineties.
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93. See? See?
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94. Now, that's exactly
what I'm talking about.
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95. You are both suspended
for a week.
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96. What's that mean?
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97. It means, I...
I don't wanna see you
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98. anywhere near this school
for a whole week.
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99. Cool.
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100. Shut up!
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101. Forget it.
No, no, you're not suspended.
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102. No, I've got a better idea.
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103. Yeah, I'm gonna get
you guys this time.
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104. - These guys are cool.
- Yeah.
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105. These guys are cool 'cause they, like,
jump around real slow.
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106. Yeah.
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107. That would be cool if you can
go to this forest.
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108. And hang out with these guys.
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109. Yeah, we could, like, dance in
the forest and be cool.
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110. Yeah.
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111. Whoa! Is this, like,
the Weather Channel?
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112. Yeah, the forecast is partially cool.
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113. - Gardenia.
- Yeah.
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114. - Gardenia.
- Gardenia, Gardenia, Gardenia.
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115. - These guys are good dancers.
- Yeah.
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116. - I wish I was more like them.
- Yeah, me too.
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117. I think birth control is
a very important
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118. issue in a woman's life.
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119. I've looked into all the options
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120. and I'm using the Today sponge.
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121. That was cool.
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122. I don't want gimmicks.
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123. I want a long distance
phone company I can count on.
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124. Hey Butt-Head, Mr. McVicker says
if we laugh any more in class
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125. - we're gonna get expelled.
- Yeah.
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126. That would be cool.
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127. Look at this.
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128. What a bunch of crap.
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129. - Is this a Clearasil commercial?
- Yeah.
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130. This is stupid.
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131. Yeah,
and it sucks too.
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132. What's this?
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133. - This sucks.
- Yeah.
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134. This is stupid.
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135. Is this Dire Straits again?
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136. - These cheerleaders are fat.
- Yeah.
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137. This is stupid.
Change it.
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138. No, wait a minute.
Check it out.
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139. Come on Butt-Head,
change it, this sucks.
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140. - No way.
- Change it Butt-Head,
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141. change it, this sucks.
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142. Whoa! Is this Michael Jackson?
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143. Yeah, that's where he sleeps.
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144. No, he told Oprah he doesn't
really sleep in a hyperbolic chamber.
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145. And he has a skin disease.
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146. You watch Oprah?
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147. What a wuss.
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148. Shut up, bunghole!
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149. I just watched it that once, because I
thought they'd show his hair on fire.
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150. Yeah, right, Beavis.
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151. What a wuss.
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152. "I'm not just a
hair club member.
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153. - I'm the president".
- Yeah.
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154. You said "member".
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155. Let's try to find a video
that doesn't suck.
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156. So, Beavis and Butt-Head,
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157. I understand Mr McVicker
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158. has made a little arrangement
with you guys.
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159. Yeah, a little probation.
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160. You see, class,
Beavis and Butt-Head here
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161. are not allowed to laugh
for a whole week.
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162. That's right.
And if they do laugh, they'll be expelled
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163. and they'll have to
go to Hope high school,
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164. where they'll get their
asses kicked on a daily basis
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165. by all the other delinquents.
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166. Well, I was real
glad to hear that,
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167. because this is
sex education week.
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168. That's right,
sex ed week.
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169. We're gonna be talking
about the penis!
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170. We'll be talking
about the vagina!
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171. Do you think that's
funny, Butt-Head?
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172. Do you find it amusing
that we'll be talking about the testicles?
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173. Yes, were also gonna be
talking about venereal disease!
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174. Sexual intercourse!
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175. The scrotum!
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176. The clitoris!
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177. And we will definitely be spending
a lot of time
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178. talking about masturbation!
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179. Well, now that that's out of the way,
let's take roll.
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180. - Butkis!
- Here.
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181. Gaylord!
Hymen!
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182. Then he said penis.
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183. Yeah.
Then he said masturbation.
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184. Then he said vagina.
That was cool.
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185. Is this that show about
that deaf lawyer?
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186. Yeah.
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187. Hey Beavis,
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188. - I'd like to make a motion.
- Yeah, me too.
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189. - Yes.
- Whoa, Cop Rock reruns.
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190. Yeah, Cop Rock reruns.
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191. This is cool.
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192. This is the one where
they sing in court.
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193. No way, this is the one where
they sing in that locker room.
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194. That's the same
show, dumb-ass.
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195. - There only was one show.
- Yeah, but it was cool.
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196. - "No sax in court".
- Yeah.
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197. - The prostitution rests.
- Yeah change it, change it, quick.
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198. Whoa, that fish has a face
on his butt.
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199. Yeah, that's cool.
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200. I wish I had a face
on my butt.
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201. Yeah, yeah.
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202. You could blow your nose
in your underwear.
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203. Yeah, you wouldn't need a hanky.
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204. We should start a band and
call it "Butt-Head Butt-Head".
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205. Yeah.
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206. "Beavis Beavis".
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207. Whoa, that guy is one
of those transformers.
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208. Yeah.
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209. Cool.
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210. Bubbles.
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211. This court is now in session.
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212. I know you've been sworn, sir,
and I have read your complaint.
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213. It's my turn to be
the judge, ass wipe.
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214. Oh, yeah.
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215. Okay.
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216. This court is now in session.
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217. How do you please,
to these charges of...
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218. Trespassing.
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219. Oh, yeah.
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220. Trespassing.
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221. And buzzing around
and getting in my face and stuff.
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222. How do you please
to these charges against you?
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223. The defense rests.
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224. Shut up!
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225. Okay.
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226. I hereby sentence the defendant
to death by...
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227. Death by...
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228. Saw off his tweeter.
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229. - Breaking the law, breaking the law.
- Breaking the law, breaking the law.
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230. - Breaking the law, breaking the law.
- Breaking the law, breaking the law.
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231. Cool.
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232. Yeah, this is what
death rock is all about.
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233. Yeah.
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234. Drums, guitars and death.
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235. - They finally got it right.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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236. Now all it needs is some fire.
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237. - Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
- Shut up, Beavis,
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238. - I'm trying to listen.
- Oh.
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239. Pizza, pizza.
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240. Whoa.
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241. - That guy is pissed.
- Yeah.
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242. - These guys are cool.
- Yeah.
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