Beavis and Butt-head 2x13

Directed by Mike Judge

Principal McVicker attempts a radical solution to Beavis and Butt-head's stupidity and continuous laughing in class: they can't laugh at anything they hear for a week.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. NO

2. Bueno.

3. Recuerdan por favor, clase.

4. Siempre contestan en Español. ¿Bueno? (always answer in Spanish, okay?

5. ¿Señor Butt-Head,

6. cómo es Juan?

7. Burritos?

8. No, no, no.

9. ¿Cómo es Juan?

10. ¿Cómo es Juan?

11. - Guacamole. - No, no. ¿Señor Beavis,

12. cómo es Juan?

13. - Spaghetti. - Spaghetti?

14. Spaghetti? That's Italian, you moron.

15. Dammit! You idiots have been in this class for almost a whole school year,

16. and the only Spanish you know is what you learned at Taco Bell.

17. And Beavis can't even get that right.

18. I'm gonna give you little bastards just ten seconds

19. to come up with a sentence in Spanish,

20. and if you can't, you're both going to the principal's office

21. and you're both flunking.

22. Well, I'm waiting.

23. Rendo-pordo-curdoh-nadava-duv-duv-dug ... Rico Suave.

24. Principal's office, now!

25. Taco Supreme.

26. Get out! Now!

27. What the hell is this crap?

28. Mine has more bumps.

29. Hey Beavis, this guy sounds like you.

30. Shut up, fartknocker.

31. That dude is wearing a Yamaha.

32. He is a loser.

33. - And a pansy. - Yeah.

34. This guy sucks.

35. Push the little pansies and make 'em come up.

36. Push the little pansies and make 'em come up.

37. That was cool.

38. - These guys got no future. - Yeah.

39. Check it out, it's Corky.

40. - Push this. - Yeah, push this.

41. Whoa.

42. She said "uh".

43. I'm already up.

44. - Is this a commercial? - Yeah.

45. It's a commercial for MTV's House Of Butts.

46. She sings better than Cindy Crawford.

47. Yeah, it's high noon on my sundial.

48. I like music.

49. - She said "cream". - Yeah.

50. Excuse me, Beavis, I have to go spank my monkey.

51. Whoa, that was cool.

52. It really does happen.

53. - Okay, Armstrong. - Here.

54. - Armiho. - Present.

55. - Bacca. - Yo.

56. - Butkis. - Here.

57. Dammit, what's wrong with you two?

58. We've been in school over seven months now,

59. and every single day when I call Daniel Butkis's name,

60. you guys have to laugh.

61. Is it really still that funny?

62. Doesn't it ever get old?

63. Are you gonna laugh for the rest of your lives

64. every time someone says the name Butkis?

65. That does it! Principal's office, now!

66. Therefore, we can say that any two amoeba are identical twins,

67. since they all have the same genetic makeup.

68. There all the same sex and can reproduce by themselves.

69. So, all sperm cells contain either an X-chromosome

70. or a Y-chromosome, and...

71. She said sperm.

72. Depending on which sperm cell fertilises the egg...

73. I said, depending on which sperm cell fertilises the egg,

74. the zygote will be either male or female.

75. Shut up!

76. McVicker's office, now!

77. Yes! The Butthole Surfers!

78. Yeah! The Butthole Surfers rule.

79. - Look it's Flea! It's Flea! - Yeah! Yeah!

80. - Flea, Flea. - Yeah!

81. Flea is cool!

82. Animation is cool.

83. Butthole Surfers kick ass.

84. Oh, you guys think this is funny?

85. You've been to four classes today,

86. and you've been sent here four times.

87. And this laughing thing.

88. What the hell is with this laughing thing?

89. All the teachers are sick of it.

90. Mr Sherman, your history teacher,

91. says he's completely given up on trying to teach your class

92. about the Gay Nineties.

93. See? See?

94. Now, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

95. You are both suspended for a week.

96. What's that mean?

97. It means, I... I don't wanna see you

98. anywhere near this school for a whole week.

99. Cool.

100. Shut up!

101. Forget it. No, no, you're not suspended.

102. No, I've got a better idea.

103. Yeah, I'm gonna get you guys this time.

104. - These guys are cool. - Yeah.

105. These guys are cool 'cause they, like, jump around real slow.

106. Yeah.

107. That would be cool if you can go to this forest.

108. And hang out with these guys.

109. Yeah, we could, like, dance in the forest and be cool.

110. Yeah.

111. Whoa! Is this, like, the Weather Channel?

112. Yeah, the forecast is partially cool.

113. - Gardenia. - Yeah.

114. - Gardenia. - Gardenia, Gardenia, Gardenia.

115. - These guys are good dancers. - Yeah.

116. - I wish I was more like them. - Yeah, me too.

117. I think birth control is a very important

118. issue in a woman's life.

119. I've looked into all the options

120. and I'm using the Today sponge.

121. That was cool.

122. I don't want gimmicks.

123. I want a long distance phone company I can count on.

124. Hey Butt-Head, Mr. McVicker says if we laugh any more in class

125. - we're gonna get expelled. - Yeah.

126. That would be cool.

127. Look at this.

128. What a bunch of crap.

129. - Is this a Clearasil commercial? - Yeah.

130. This is stupid.

131. Yeah, and it sucks too.

132. What's this?

133. - This sucks. - Yeah.

134. This is stupid.

135. Is this Dire Straits again?

136. - These cheerleaders are fat. - Yeah.

137. This is stupid. Change it.

138. No, wait a minute. Check it out.

139. Come on Butt-Head, change it, this sucks.

140. - No way. - Change it Butt-Head,

141. change it, this sucks.

142. Whoa! Is this Michael Jackson?

143. Yeah, that's where he sleeps.

144. No, he told Oprah he doesn't really sleep in a hyperbolic chamber.

145. And he has a skin disease.

146. You watch Oprah?

147. What a wuss.

148. Shut up, bunghole!

149. I just watched it that once, because I thought they'd show his hair on fire.

150. Yeah, right, Beavis.

151. What a wuss.

152. "I'm not just a hair club member.

153. - I'm the president". - Yeah.

154. You said "member".

155. Let's try to find a video that doesn't suck.

156. So, Beavis and Butt-Head,

157. I understand Mr McVicker

158. has made a little arrangement with you guys.

159. Yeah, a little probation.

160. You see, class, Beavis and Butt-Head here

161. are not allowed to laugh for a whole week.

162. That's right. And if they do laugh, they'll be expelled

163. and they'll have to go to Hope high school,

164. where they'll get their asses kicked on a daily basis

165. by all the other delinquents.

166. Well, I was real glad to hear that,

167. because this is sex education week.

168. That's right, sex ed week.

169. We're gonna be talking about the penis!

170. We'll be talking about the vagina!

171. Do you think that's funny, Butt-Head?

172. Do you find it amusing that we'll be talking about the testicles?

173. Yes, were also gonna be talking about venereal disease!

174. Sexual intercourse!

175. The scrotum!

176. The clitoris!

177. And we will definitely be spending a lot of time

178. talking about masturbation!

179. Well, now that that's out of the way, let's take roll.

180. - Butkis! - Here.

181. Gaylord! Hymen!

182. Then he said penis.

183. Yeah. Then he said masturbation.

184. Then he said vagina. That was cool.

185. Is this that show about that deaf lawyer?

186. Yeah.

187. Hey Beavis,

188. - I'd like to make a motion. - Yeah, me too.

189. - Yes. - Whoa, Cop Rock reruns.

190. Yeah, Cop Rock reruns.

191. This is cool.

192. This is the one where they sing in court.

193. No way, this is the one where they sing in that locker room.

194. That's the same show, dumb-ass.

195. - There only was one show. - Yeah, but it was cool.

196. - "No sax in court". - Yeah.

197. - The prostitution rests. - Yeah change it, change it, quick.

198. Whoa, that fish has a face on his butt.

199. Yeah, that's cool.

200. I wish I had a face on my butt.

201. Yeah, yeah.

202. You could blow your nose in your underwear.

203. Yeah, you wouldn't need a hanky.

204. We should start a band and call it "Butt-Head Butt-Head".

205. Yeah.

206. "Beavis Beavis".

207. Whoa, that guy is one of those transformers.

208. Yeah.

209. Cool.

210. Bubbles.

211. This court is now in session.

212. I know you've been sworn, sir, and I have read your complaint.

213. It's my turn to be the judge, ass wipe.

214. Oh, yeah.

215. Okay.

216. This court is now in session.

217. How do you please, to these charges of...

218. Trespassing.

219. Oh, yeah.

220. Trespassing.

221. And buzzing around and getting in my face and stuff.

222. How do you please to these charges against you?

223. The defense rests.

224. Shut up!

225. Okay.

226. I hereby sentence the defendant to death by...

227. Death by...

228. Saw off his tweeter.

229. - Breaking the law, breaking the law. - Breaking the law, breaking the law.

230. - Breaking the law, breaking the law. - Breaking the law, breaking the law.

231. Cool.

232. Yeah, this is what death rock is all about.

233. Yeah.

234. Drums, guitars and death.

235. - They finally got it right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

236. Now all it needs is some fire.

237. - Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! - Shut up, Beavis,

238. - I'm trying to listen. - Oh.

239. Pizza, pizza.

240. Whoa.

241. - That guy is pissed. - Yeah.

242. - These guys are cool. - Yeah.