1. The prisoner will stand.
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2. Pamela Lillian Isley,
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3. District Attorney Van Dorn has asked
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4. that the maximum sentence of life
imprisonment be imposed upon you.
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5. However, as your apprehension came
at the hands of the Batman,
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6. and not a recognized agent of the law,
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7. this court has no choice
but to return you to Arkham Asylum,
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8. where it is hoped you will complete
your rehabilitation.
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9. Hi, Red. Hi. Welcome home.
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10. Hi, Harley.
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11. Aw, things didn't go too good, huh?
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12. —Nope.
—Well, cheer up.
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13. Word is we're gonna throw
a little party.
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14. And old Jervis here has the invitations.
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15. Not only does Batman create
these so—called super—criminals,
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16. he takes it upon himself
to be their judge and jury
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17. with no regard for the legal system.
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18. It sounds like
you want to put Batman on trial.
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19. Believe me, I'd like nothing better.
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20. —Strong words.
—It's got to stop, Jim.
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21. As Gotham's new district attorney,
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22. I can't allow your pet nut
to run loose in my city.
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23. I mean it.
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24. Janet, it's a war zone out there,
and Batman is our best weapon.
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25. And I say he's a drug the city keeps
taking to avoid facing reality.
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26. Speak of the devil.
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27. The East Side Skulls are ready
to declare war on the other gangs.
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28. Old news. My department's already
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29. planning a sting to catch
the Skulls' leader.
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30. Don't bother.
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31. Very cute, mister.
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32. You want to support law and order?
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33. You take off that mask
and put on a uniform.
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34. You hear me, Batman?
This is the last time!
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35. The next time I see him,
it will be a whole different story.
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36. Hello, Bruce.
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37. Janet, I'm so glad we're able to meet
on such short notice.
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38. It seems every place I look
there's our crusading DA
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39. leading the campaign
to rid our city of Batman.
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40. Oh, please. He's the last person
I want to talk about tonight.
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41. Oh, sorry.
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42. Still, even you have to admit
Batman's come through now and then.
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43. But look at the lunatic fringe
he's created.
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44. The Joker, Two—Face, Poison Ivy,
and the rest.
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45. Batman's responsible
for every one of them.
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46. Excuse me, Ms. Van Dorn,
but your office just called.
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47. They said it's an emergency.
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48. I'm sorry, Bruce. I won't be a minute.
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49. Take your time.
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50. Uh, excuse me,
have you seen Ms. Van Dorn?
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51. —Not in the last half-hour, sir.
—MAN: Look.
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52. Must be trouble.
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53. Look at that.
I've never seen that before.
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54. It's Van Dorn's.
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55. It was dropped on the front desk
20 minutes ago.
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56. Along with this.
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57. "Batman, come alone to where
lives hang in the balance
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58. "or the law in Gotham dies.”
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59. You there! Come into the light.
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60. I said...
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61. —
—
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62. Oh, no, you don't.
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63. Ta—da!
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64. Let me out. Do you hear me?
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65. Whoever you are, let me out this second.
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66. Welcome to Arkham, Van Dorn.
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67. Two—Face.
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68. Don't bother screaming for help.
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69. The white coats can't hear you.
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70. Matter of fact,
they can't do much of anything,
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71. thanks to the Mad Hatter.
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72. You're going to escape?
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73. Eventually.
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74. We've got some legal business
to settle first.
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75. —What do you mean?
—I'm talking about a trial.
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76. Me, the prosecutor.
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77. You, the defense.
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78. And your client...
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79. Is Batman.
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80. This is insane. Me defending you?
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81. As far as I'm concerned,
you belong in here with them.
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82. Whatever.
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83. You've gotta go through with it.
It's their game and their rules.
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84. Let's go. Move it.
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85. Indeed.
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86. Can't keep the judge waiting.
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87. You've said it yourself, lady.
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88. Batman made every one of us.
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89. So, we're placing him before the bar
to face our justice.
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90. And me?
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91. Basic 50/50 option.
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92. You get him off. You both go free.
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93. He goes down,
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94. you take the fall with him.
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95. Amusing idea, what?
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96. Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney?
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97. Personally, I suggested a quick slug
between the eyes.
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98. But I lost the coin toss.
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99. I borrowed your belt, Bats,
but it doesn't do a thing for me.
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100. Sit down.
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101. Oyez. Oyez.
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102. He says, "Oyez,” dirt bags! Dummy up.
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103. Sheesh!
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104. I gotta do everything for you.
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105. Court is now in session.
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106. The good people of Arkham Asylum
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107. versus the self-righteous vigilante
called Batman.
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108. Our prosecutor is ready.
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109. Likewise, our fair and impartial jury.
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110. —Hang him.
—Shoot him.
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111. Hit him with a rock.
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112. And now all rise for the most honorable,
most benevolent, most merciful
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113. Judge Joker.
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114. Guilty!
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115. I was promised a chance
to defend my client.
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116. Oh, very well.
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117. Like it'll make a difference.
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118. Mr. Prosecutor,
make your opening statement.
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119. Look at us.
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120. We're all freaks and monsters.
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121. And who made us this way?
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122. Batman.
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123. Go on, lady. Defend him if you can.
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124. Call the first witness.
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125. Yo, Hat. On the stand.
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126. Proceed, counselor.
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127. I suppose you, like your friends,
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128. claim that Batman
drove you to be a criminal?
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129. He did.
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130. And yet, as I recall your case,
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131. you brainwashed and kidnapped
a woman who rejected you.
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132. Batman forced me to do it.
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133. He was going to take her away from me.
I had no choice.
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134. You could have respected her wishes
and left her alone.
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135. I'd have killed her first!
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136. Ooh.
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137. I'd like that last statement
stricken from the record, please.
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138. Record? Is someone supposed
to be writing this down?
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139. This is crazy.
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140. That's beside the point.
Just keep it going.
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141. Looks like Batman's hunch was wrong.
There's no sign of him or Ms. Van Dorn.
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142. But he was here, all right.
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143. I object to this witness.
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144. She's obviously trying
to influence the judge.
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145. —What makes you say that?
—Never mind.
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146. Do you have a statement?
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147. I just wanna say,
if there was no Batman,
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148. there'd be no Joker.
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149. And I'd never have met my pudding.
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150. Thank you, Batman.
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151. Sad, isn't it?
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152. Harleen Quinzel was a doctor
here at Arkham
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153. until the Joker twisted her mind.
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154. Ha! You're just jealous
because you don't have a fella
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155. who's as loving and loyal to you
as my pudding is to me.
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156. Uh-huh.
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157. And I suppose it was
that same loyalty I saw
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158. the last time you escaped,
and pudding here...
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159. Finked on you
in hopes of getting time off.
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160. Is that true, pudding?
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161. "Finked" is such an ugly word.
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162. You lousy scum-sucking creep!
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163. The witness is excused.
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164. Slimy rat!
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165. Knock it off, lady.
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166. I'll kick that grin off your silly face.
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167. And so it's Batman's fault
you lead a life of crime.
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168. He should have let me bump off
Harvey Dent.
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169. We'd all have been better off,
wouldn't we, Harv?
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170. Why, you rotten little...
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171. But, Ms. Isley,
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172. isn't the real motivation
for your crimes
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173. your obsession with plants?
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174. That you prefer them to people?
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175. I love plants, honey,
but a rose is a rose.
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176. Then it doesn't bother you when someone,
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177. let's say the judge here,
ruthlessly plucks
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178. a defenseless flower
from the warm green earth?
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179. No.
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180. Even knowing he's given it
his death sentence?
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181. That its petals must die?
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182. —Stop it.
—JANET: One by one.
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183. Withering, falling.
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184. One by one, until it's all gone. Honey.
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185. Ms. Ivy, please.
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186. You're beautiful when you're angry.
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187. I used to believe Batman
was responsible for you people.
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188. But now I see nearly everyone here
would've ended up exactly the same,
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189. Batman or not.
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190. Oh, the gimmicks might be different.
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191. But you'd all be out there in some form
or another, bringing misery to Gotham.
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192. The truth is you created him.
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193. —GORDON: It's working.
—
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194. Looks like a tracking device.
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195. It's pointing north.
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196. The Somerset District.
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197. Nothing much out there except...
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198. Arkham.
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199. Jury, you've heard the evidence.
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200. Consider your verdict.
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201. Your Honor, in light
of Ms. Van Dorn's stirring defense,
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202. we have no choice
but to find the defendant...
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203. Not guilty.
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204. Amazing.
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205. Well done, counselor.
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206. You've proven that Batman
didn't create us.
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207. That we, in fact,
messed up our own rotten lives.
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208. And as we are so rotten,
vile and depraved,
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209. we're going to waste you anyway.
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210. That's all, folks.
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211. Let's mambo.
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212. Help us! Please!
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213. Let me go.
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214. Anything you say, Jannie—poo.
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215. And now
for the final confession.
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216. The big secret you've kept from us
for so many years.
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217. Brothers and sisters,
at long last, I give you
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218. the man behind the bat.
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219. What?
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220. What's going on?
He's gone.
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221. Everyone, spread out.
Don't let him get away.
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222. Who says I'm leaving?
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223. What's going on?
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224. Get the light.
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225. Nobody panic.
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226. Okay, start panicking.
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227. The only way out is through me.
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228. Hold on. You'll hit Croc.
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229. What's your point?
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230. Watch where
you're shooting, clown.
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231. I'm hit, boys!
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232. Hold it.
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233. Nobody move.
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234. Yoo-hoo! Look alive, Batman.
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235. Here comes the judge.
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236. Old Hanging Judge Joker, that's me.
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237. I see now there's a need
for the things you do.
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238. But I'm still going to work toward
a city that doesn't need Batman.
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239. Me too.
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240. English — SDH
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