1. Hello, Gotham, I'm home!
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2. Hello, Ronnie!
Ronnie!
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3. Veronica, darling,
you look smashing.
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4. How did you like the rain forest?
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5. The food was appalling,
the accommodations were nonexistent
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6. and the bugs were the size
of my trust fund.
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7. But seriously,
it's important we all do our part
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8. to preserve those precious resources.
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9. —MAN: Hear, hear.
—
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10. Look at them,
celebrating without a care in the world.
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11. I think it's great
that Veronica's finally
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12. doing something worthwhile
with her money.
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13. I'm sorry, Bruce.
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14. The securities business has been
kind of rough lately.
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15. Lot of late hours, you know.
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16. Seems all I do is worry about how to get
my company through one more day.
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17. Worries, Hayden?
I have the cure for that.
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18. I'm a little old for dolts,
don't you think?
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19. Not these dolls.
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20. They're Worry Men from Central America.
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21. Legends say you tell them your problems,
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22. then put them under
your pillow at night.
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23. They'll do your worrying for you
while you sleep.
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24. And when you wake up,
poof, your problems are gone.
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25. Oh, come on, Ronnie.
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26. You're the last one I'd think would
fall for some ancient tribal hoodoo.
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27. Don't be so smug, Brucie.
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28. When I was in the jungle,
I saw some things you'd never believe.
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29. And I tell you, I haven't had
a bad night's sleep since my trip.
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30. Well, sounds great to me.
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31. In fact, the little darlings work
their magic for me all day long.
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32. See, aren't they precious?
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33. - I just couldn't get along without them.
—Thanks for everything, Ron.
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34. But I've got a few more rounds to make.
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35. If ever someone led a worry—free life,
it's you, Bruce Wayne.
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36. I've got one for everybody.
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37. Party crasher.
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38. Nasty toy.
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39. Ready to call it a night?
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40. —
—Oh, my heavens!
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41. Tell me, Alfred.
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42. What's an ancient Mayan witch doctor
doing on a Gotham skyscraper?
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43. This isn't one
of those Riddler questions, is it?
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44. No, but it's just as confusing.
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45. There's someone new in town using
Mayan tribal gimmicks in his crimes.
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46. —Blowguns, stone weapons.
—Voodoo dolls?
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47. That's some party favor
from Veronica's party.
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48. They're supposed to take away
your worries while you sleep.
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49. Imagine that.
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50. What some overworked souls
won't do to get a good night's rest.
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51. Hmm.
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52. Still, every little bit helps.
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53. I tell you, child, I handle
all sorts of things for Mr. Wayne,
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54. but this one really takes the cake.
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55. —Oh, Morning, Dana.
—Oh, I gotta go. Bye-bye.
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56. Sometimes I forget how beautiful
Gotham can be.
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57. You're in fine spirits, I must say.
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58. A good night's sleep
and I'm ready to take on the world.
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59. You got everything all right?
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60. Yes, I followed your message
to the letter.
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61. —But I can't help wondering what—
—Thank you.
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62. I know it's your company, Mr. Wayne,
but $20 million, man.
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63. —That's a lot of money.
- Yes, it is. What's your point?
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64. Well, I'd sure feel uncomfortable
walking around with all that cash
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65. in a tiny little briefcase.
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66. Dana, I'm sorry. I'm not following this.
What cash? What briefcase?
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67. The $20 million you told me
to put in a briefcase for you.
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68. You're not making any sense.
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69. The $20 million I told you
to put in a briefcase?
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70. You called me from your car,
gave me your account number,
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71. told me to transfer $20 million
in cash and...
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72. Hey!
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73. $20 million of my money in that case?
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74. I hope you're not going to take it
out of my salary.
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75. Tens of millions of dollars are missing
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76. since this morning, Mr. Sloane.
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77. If it wasn't you, then who?
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78. But I don't know, I tell you.
I don't know. Why would I do it? Why?
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79. That was the scene today
as broker Hayden Sloane was arrested
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80. on charges of embezzlement.
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81. Sloane joins the growing list of wealthy
Gothamites who, for reasons unknown,
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82. have pilfered their own companies
for a combined total of $100 million.
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83. Unbelievable.
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84. And you have no clue
how this could have happened?
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85. I do now. Each of us was a guest
at Veronica Vreeland's party.
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86. If there are answers, she's got them.
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87. Miss Vreeland.
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88. Huh?
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89. Batman?
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90. Let me help you with your bag.
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91. No, you stay back.
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92. This is mine, you hear? Mine.
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93. I know it's yours.
What were you planning to do with it?
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94. I have to throw it overboard because...
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95. Because...
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96. Excuse me, I don't feel very well.
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97. Care to explain these?
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98. My jewels! How did they get here?
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99. —Don't you remember?
—No, everything's a blank. I...
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100. Leave him alone, you swine!
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101. Please?
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102. My therapist is never
going to believe this.
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103. And I thought you were supposed
to take away my worries.
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104. Hmm.
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105. Well, say goodbye,
you troublesome little trinkets.
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106. Wait. These dolls.
Where did you get them?
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107. From a craftsman at a small village.
A funny little man in a giant straw hat.
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108. An Englishman?
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109. Why, yes.
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110. And he suggested giving the dolls
to your society friends.
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111. What, are you psychic, too?
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112. Just picking up on the pattern.
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113. Sir, you have no idea how terrible
I feel to have played a part in this.
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114. Neither you nor Veronica could have
known that hidden within each doll
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115. was a tiny microchip designed
to stimulate a sleeper's brainwaves
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116. and make them susceptible
to hypnotic suggestion.
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117. Creating a radio receiver of sorts
out of an entranced human mind?
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118. Exactly.
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119. And who knows
how to warp the human mind better
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120. than Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter?
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121. "'O frabjous day, callooh,
callay,' he chortled in his joy."
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122. It's sheer brilliance.
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123. A wonderland of treasures
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124. all willingly donated
by Gotham's simpering elite.
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125. Ah.
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126. And now come the famous Vreeland jewels
to dance at my heels.
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127. What? How dare you return empty—handed?
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128. Forgive us, sir.
But Batman showed up, and—
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129. Batman?
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130. You insufferable fools.
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131. You can't even handle one man
dressed up like a flying mouse?
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132. Oh, and what's this? What's this?
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133. You've graciously left
part of your cloak behind
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134. as Batman's invitation
to waltz right into our midst.
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135. And that's just what he'll do, won't he?
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136. Of course he will.
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137. And far be it for me to disappoint him
when he arrives.
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138. As you predicted, sir,
the computer has identified
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139. this scrap of artificial fur as a type
used in theatrical productions,
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140. which would make
its most probable source of origin—
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141. The Great Eastern Costume Company.
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142. It's been closed for years,
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143. making it a perfect hideout
for the Mad Hatter.
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144. I knew you were coming,
so I thought
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145. I'd have some of the old chaps 'round
to make you feel at home.
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146. —How is Batman like a donut shop?
—
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147. —They're both filled with holes.
—
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148. Whoops.
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149. Should have warned you, old boy.
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150. That lot's real.
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151. Delightful. Oh, quite a bonus to add
to my already—substantial collection.
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152. You disappoint me, Tetch.
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153. For all your brilliance,
you've become just another thief.
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154. You make it sound so common.
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155. Well, actually, Batman,
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156. you'll be happy to know you're
witnessing my retirement from crime.
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157. See, after my recent release
from Arkham,
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158. I vowed to leave Gotham
and my wicked ways behind me.
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159. Perhaps buy a little island somewhere
and open a sunbonnet shop.
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160. But islands, even little ones,
cost money.
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161. Lots of money.
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162. And then I heard of Ms. Vreeland's
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163. well-publicized trek
into the rain forest.
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164. Yes, I realized at once she'd be the
perfect unwitting partner in my scheme.
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165. Investing what limited funds I had,
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166. I managed to follow dear Ronnie
into the forest
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167. where, at a small native village,
she made the acquaintance
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168. of my specially—created Worry Men.
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169. Though, I can't take complete credit.
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170. I provided
the microcircuitry, of course,
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171. but my good friend here
supplied the dolls.
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172. Can you believe it?
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173. He was just an honest native craftsman
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174. until I changed his mind
about helping me.
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175. Those others are riffraff culled out of
various Gotham street gangs.
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176. Gutter trash of no great importance.
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177. So, as this is my farewell to crime,
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178. I think I'll take a souvenir
to mark the occasion.
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179. No matter. I have a better way
to remove that nasty old cowl.
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180. Stop! You don't know what you're doing.
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181. Oh, that noise!
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182. What's going on?
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183. How did I get here?
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184. Oh, you're a clever one.
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185. But I will not be denied.
As the great Lewis Carroll said,
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186. "One, two, one, two,
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187. "and through and through,
the vorpal blade went snicker—snack.
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188. "He left it dead, and with its head,
he went galumphing back.”
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189. No!
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190. Stop! I command you.
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191. So, we're gutter trash, are we?
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192. Who's calling the shots now?
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193. —Stop!
—JAGUAR SHAMAN: Yes. Stop.
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194. Leave him to the police.
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195. Thank you. Thank you, you generous,
forgiving, noble fool.
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196. Stand back, all of you.
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197. I'm getting out. But not before
I sew up one last loose end.
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198. What?
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199. Tomorrow this all goes
back to the company.
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200. Minus the cost of a plane ticket home
for our kidnapped doll maker.
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201. I must say, after all the Hatter
put him through,
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202. that fellow showed remarkable restraint.
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203. When everything was said and done,
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204. all the shaman really wanted
was to go home.
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205. In fact, I hear he even sent the Hatter
a farewell gift.
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206. Something to ensure
that Jervis Tetch
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207. only dreams of a good,
honest life from now on.
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208. English — SDH
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