Batman: The Animated Series 2x10

Directed by Kevin Altieri

Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn (voice) • Mark Hamill as The Joker (voice) • Lloyd Bochner as Mayor Hamilton Hill (voice) • Neil Ross as Dealer (voice) • Dick Miller as Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett (voice) • Dick Miller as Boxy Bennett (voice)

Harley Quinn agrees to help Batman and Robin find the location of a stolen atomic bomb placed somewhere in Gotham by the Joker.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. boom

2. Here it is, gentlemen.

3. Enough kaboom to turn Gotham

4. into the world's biggest pothole.

5. What say we start the bidding at, uh, one million?

6. - One million. - Two million.

7. - Three million. - Five.

8. Gentlemen, please.

9. Don't insult me with nickel and dime bids.

10. The man who walks out with this bomb

11. walks out with Gotham in his pocket.

12. Yours to pick clean or blow sky-high.

13. Your call.

14. What am I bid?

15. 'How about nothing?'

16. Zero, zip, zilch, nada.

17. 'My personal check for bupkis'

18. 'drawn on the first National Bank of Squadoo.'

19. Sorry, boys, this lot is sold.

20. Aah! Oh!

21. Oops!

22. Ah!

23. You really should loosen up, dealer.

24. Have a laugh now and then.

25. fizz

26. Oh, that's so much more pleasant.

27. 'Alerting the public now would only'

28. 'cause a panic, commissioner.'

29. But if that madman plans to use the bomb

30. we've got to clear the city.

31. 'I can't evacuate ten million people on your suspicions.'

32. We don't even know if the bomb's still in Gotham.

33. Keep me posted if you find anything.

34. The Joker will be extra cautious this time.

35. We'll have to think like him.

36. Or recruit someone who does.

37. pop

38. Ah!

39. Ms. Quinn.

40. Ah!

41. Don't you knock before entering a lady's boudoir?

42. I need help.

43. Well, you've come to the right place.

44. I recommend a lobotomy.

45. The Joker's stolen a bomb.

46. If I can't get to him in time

47. this city and everyone in it is going up in a mushroom cloud.

48. So you want me to turn squealer on Mr. J.

49. Hah! Sorry, B-man, no deal.

50. I've talked to Gordon and Dr. Bartholomew.

51. You help me find the Joker

52. and they'll write your ticket out of here.

53. Wee!

54. If you promise no double-cross.

55. Ah, shoot! Take all the fun out of life.

56. I don't have time for jokes.

57. O-okay, okay, I promise.

58. Shake?

59. Oh, the irony of it.

60. The grim, stalwart Dark Knight

61. and his greatest female adversary

62. fighting together to save the city.

63. I sense a lack of trust.

64. You sure you don't need any help keeping

65. Zippy under control?

66. I'm fine.

67. Besides, I need you to be ready

68. if Gordon's men get any leads.

69. I'll signal if there's trouble.

70. - You got it. - I wanna listen to the radio.

71. Don't!

72. crash

73. Oof.. Aah!

74. - Oops. - Listen and listen good.

75. You don't touch anything, say anything

76. or do anything unless I tell you!

77. - Got it? - Yes, sir.

78. So far, Joker hasn't been seen at any of his old hideouts.

79. I want you to show me the last place

80. he used when he escaped.

81. Okay.

82. This used to be our special love nest.

83. Have a look around while I slip into something more comfortable.

84. No tricks.

85. Hey, we have a deal, remember?

86. Whee!

87. Ah! I feel like a human being again.

88. Hi, babies! Mommy's home!

89. Are you the sweetest babies?

90. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

91. How do you like our ha-ha-hacienda?

92. Charming. Especially these monitors.

93. Between the cops, city hall and the mayor's office

94. Joker has the whole city wired.

95. He's a genius.

96. What's the attraction, Quinn?

97. This sick infatuation with the Joker.

98. Look, Bats, when I was a doctor

99. I was always listening to other people's problems.

100. 'Then I met Mr. J. who listened to me'

101. for a change and made everything fun.

102. You think it's funny when he hurts people?

103. It's just a joke.

104. Hope you're still laughing when it's your turn.

105. Hmm! Mm.

106. 'Meet us at the Apex Novelty factory.'

107. Quinn says it's an old hideout.

108. But the Joker may be using it again.

109. I'm on my way.

110. bang

111. - Grab on. - I can do it myself, thank you.

112. Ha ha! Ow!

113. Ha-ha!

114. Huh. Aah!

115. Sneak, sneak, sneak.

116. - Shh! - Shh.

117. What do you mean "Shh?"

118. No one's been in this dump for years.

119. - Huh? - Huh?

120. 'Uh-oh.'

121. Ow!

122. thud

123. Hey, guys, look who I got.

124. 'Well, well.'

125. If it ain't the big, bad Batman come to break up

126. Boxy Bennett's little social club.

127. It's gonna cost you, freak. Bigtime.

128. Hi, Boxy. Long-time no see.

129. Harley Quinn.

130. 'Last I heard, they tossed you in the squirrel farm'

131. and swallowed the key.

132. What you doing with the Bat?

133. Oh, come on.

134. You don't think I was working with Batman?

135. I know you'd blow us both away if you thought that.

136. You thought right, sugar.

137. Phew!

138. So you ain't seen Mr. J. around, have you?

139. Nope, you know, I never could figure what a cute little number

140. like yourself saw in a slob like the Joker.

141. Especially when there are suave guys like me around.

142. Now, Boxy.

143. Sure, my pudding's a little temperamental.

144. But, gee, what relationship doesn't have its ups and downs?

145. Hah!

146. 'A' flat.

147. Yeah.

148. pow

149. Whoo! Alright, B and R.

150. 'Hey, ugly.'

151. They're all working together.

152. bang

153. thud

154. Let's go, Quinn.

155. - Quinn! - 'Whee!'

156. Bombs away!

157. Huh? Ah!

158. Yes! Whoo!

159. Did you see the way I handled those creeps?

160. Pow! Bam! Oh, Batgirl, eat your heart out.

161. What was she before she went bonkers?

162. A clinical psychiatrist.

163. Figures.

164. - Any word on the Joker? - Nothing.

165. I even checked with Gordon again

166. 'and the mayor still refuses to let the cops evacuate the city.'

167. Oh, it's brilliant.

168. Way to go, Mr. J.

169. What are you saying?

170. Oh, come on, Bats.

171. You've seen how my pudding keeps an eye on Gotham.

172. What better way to tie up the cops

173. than to tie up the mayor?

174. Whoo-hoo-hoo!

175. 'See, do I know how Mr. J. thinks, or what? Hah!'

176. And here you thought I was just

177. another bubble-headed, blonde bimbo.

178. Well, the joke's on you. I'm not even a real blonde.

179. Good job.

180. Huh? Hey!

181. What gives?

182. I can't risk you warning the Joker.

183. Would I do a thing like that?

184. Hey, let me out! Come on!

185. Boy, you just can't trust some people.

186. Nothing like a moonlight dip, eh, Mr. Mayor? Ha-ha.

187. Please, just make your ransom demands

188. and get on with it.

189. Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy.

190. - You can't mean— - Oh, yes, indeed-y do.

191. Instead of taking you

192. the cops and the Batman down separately

193. 'I'm going to blast you all at once.'

194. Send down the plane, boys.

195. We're blowing town.

196. Literally. Ha-ha.

197. 'Yes, sir.'

198. But all those innocent people.

199. Some joke on them, eh?

200. Think of it as the ultimate punch line.

201. swoosh

202. Ugh!

203. Hah! Haah!

204. Ahh! Oow!

205. What? Hey!

206. bang

207. Gee, it's amazing what you find in people's glove compartments.

208. - Harley? - Hi, puddin'.

209. Miss me?

210. Oh, you clever little minx.

211. How did you escape from Arkham?

212. Batman sprung me so as I could find you.

213. Had me all locked up in his bad old car too.

214. Aww.

215. Quinn, we had a deal!

216. Deal's off, B-man.

217. No one ever said anything about hurting Mr. J.

218. Ooh!

219. 'Ten-minute countdown sequence has been engaged.'

220. Oh, my Lord.

221. Come, my dear, we'll get to a safe altitude

222. then watch the fireworks.

223. It's lucky you were here, Harley.

224. 'The countdown sequence didn't leave Joker'

225. 'enough time to swing by Arkham and pick you up.'

226. Quiet, brat.

227. You were gonna come back for me, weren't you, pudding?

228. Of course, pumpkin-pie.

229. It's just that..

230. Well, here you are, so I can

231. uh, save myself the trip.

232. But what about all our friends?

233. Ivy and Two Face and hat-guy

234. and Lizard-man and puppet-head and..

235. What about them?

236. Don't forget your little pets.

237. The babies!

238. We can't leave the babies!

239. I'll buy you a goldfish.

240. - Let's go! - No!

241. Why, you little..

242. You know, Bats, I got a crazy idea.

243. Mr. J. may not be the guy for me after all.

244. Ow!

245. kaboom

246. Hah!

247. Go around again!

248. But boss..

249. I said, do it!

250. - Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.

251. Made it with time to spare.

252. That bomb's going off even if I go with it!

253. clang clang clang

254. Laugh this off... puddin'!

255. bang

256. boing

257. clank clank

258. - Whoa! - Whoa!

259. Ah!

260. crash

261. Hoo!

262. Freeze, clown.

263. Quinn, stop!

264. He's mine, Bats.

265. You wouldn't dare.

266. You don't have the guts.

267. Not in a million years would you..

268. click

269. Baby, you're the greatest.

270. Ha!