1. Here it is, gentlemen.
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2. Enough kaboom to turn Gotham
into the world's biggest pothole.
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3. What say we start the bidding
at one million?
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4. —One million.
—Two million.
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5. —Three million.
—Five.
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6. Gentlemen, please. Don't insult me
with nickel-and—dime bids.
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7. The man who walks out with this bomb
walks out with Gotham in his pocket.
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8. Yours to pick clean or blow sky-high.
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9. Your call. What am I bid?
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10. How about nothing?
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11. Zero, zip, zilch, nada.
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12. My personal check for bupkis.
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13. Drawn on
the First National Bank of Squadoo.
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14. Sorry, boys,
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15. this lot is sold.
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16. Whoops.
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17. You really should loosen up, dear.
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18. Have a laugh now and then.
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19. That's so much more pleasant.
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20. Alerting the public now
would only cause a panic, Commissioner.
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21. But if that madman plans to use
the bomb, we've got to clear the city.
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22. / can't evacuate 10 million
people on your suspicions.
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23. We don't even know if the bomb's
still in Gotham.
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24. Keep me posted if you find anything.
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25. The Joker will be
extra cautious this time.
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26. We'll have to think like him.
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27. Or recruit someone who does.
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28. Ms. Quinn.
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29. Don't you knock before entering
a lady's boudoir?
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30. —I need help.
- Well, you've come to the right place.
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31. I recommend a lobotomy.
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32. The Joker's stolen a bomb.
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33. If I can't get to him in time
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34. this city and everyone in it
is going up in a mushroom cloud.
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35. So you want me to
turn squealer on Mr. J. Ha!
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36. Sorry, B-man, no deal.
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37. I've talked to Gordon
and Dr. Bartholomew.
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38. You help me find the Joker, and they'll
write your ticket out of here.
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39. Whee!
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40. If you promise no double—cross.
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41. Ah, shoot, take all the fun out of life.
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42. I don't have time for jokes.
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43. Okay, okay, I promise.
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44. Shake?
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45. Oh, the irony of it.
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46. The grim, stalwart Dark Knight
and his greatest female adversary
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47. fighting together to save the city.
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48. I sense a lack of trust.
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49. Sure you don't need any help
keeping Zippy under control?
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50. I'm fine.
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51. Besides, I need you to be ready
if Gordon's men get any leads.
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52. —I'll signal if there's trouble.
- You got it.
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53. —HARLEY: I wanna listen to the radio.
—Don't!
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54. Oops.
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55. Listen, and listen good.
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56. You don't touch anything, say anything
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57. or do anything unless I tell you!
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58. - Got it?
- Yes, sir.
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59. So far, Joker hasn't been seen
at any of his old hideouts.
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60. I want you to show me the last place
he used when he escaped.
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61. Okay.
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62. This used to be our special love nest.
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63. Have a look around while I slip into
something more comfortable.
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64. No tricks.
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65. Hey, we have a deal, remember?
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66. —
—
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67. Whee!
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68. Ah! I feel like a human being again.
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69. Hi, babies! Mommy's home!
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70. Are you the sweetest babies?
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71. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
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72. How do you like our ha—hacienda?
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73. Charming.
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74. Especially these monitors.
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75. Between the cops,
city hall and the mayor's office,
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76. Joker has the whole city wired.
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77. He's a genius.
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78. What's the attraction, Quinn?
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79. This sick infatuation with the Joker.
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80. Look, Bats, when I was a doctor
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81. I was always listening
to other people's problems.
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82. Then I met Mr. J., who listened to me
for a change and made everything fun.
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83. You think it's funny
when he hurts people?
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84. It's just a joke.
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85. Hope you're still laughing
when it's your turn.
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86. Hmph.
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87. Meet us at
the Apex novelty factory.
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88. Quinn says it's an old hideout.
But the Joker may be using it again.
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89. I'm on my way.
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90. —Grab on.
- I can do it myself, thank you.
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91. Ha-ha! Ow!
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92. Sneak, sneak, sneak.
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93. —Shh.
—Shh.
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94. What do you mean, "Shh"?
No one's been in this dump for years.
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95. Uh-oh.
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96. Hey, guys, look who I got.
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97. Well, well.
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98. If it ain't the big, bad Batman
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99. come to break up
Boxy Bennett's little social club.
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100. It's gonna cost you, freak, big time.
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101. Hi, Boxy. Long time no see.
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102. Harley Quinn.
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103. Last I heard, they tossed you in
the squirrel farm and swallowed the key.
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104. What you doing with the Bat?
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105. Come on, you don't think
I was working with Batman?
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106. I know you'd blow us both away
if you thought that.
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107. You thought right, sugar.
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108. Phew.
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109. So, you ain't seen Mr. J. around,
have you?
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110. Nope.
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111. You know, I never could figure
what a cute little number like yourself
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112. saw in a slob like the Joker.
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113. Especially when there are suave guys
like me around.
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114. Now, Boxy.
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115. Sure, my pudding's
a little temperamental.
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116. But, gee, what relationship
doesn't have its ups and downs?
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117. Ha!
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118. A flat.
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119. I never knew
That our romance had ended
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120. Until you poisoned my food
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121. And I thought it was a lark
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122. When you kicked me in the park
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123. But now I think it was rude
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124. I never knew that
you and I were finished
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125. Until that bottle hit my head
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126. Though I tried to be aloof
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127. When you pushed me off the roof
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128. I feel our romance is dead
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129. It wouldn't have been so bad
If you had told me
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130. That someone had taken my place
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131. But no
No, you didn't even scold me
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132. You just tried to disfigure my face
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133. You'll never know
How this heart of mine is breaking
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134. It looks so hopeless, but then
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135. Life used to be so placid
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136. Won't you please put down that acid?
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137. And say that we're sweethearts again
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138. Yeah.
All right, baby!
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139. Whoo! All right, B and R!
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140. Hey, ugly.
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141. They're all working together.
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142. Let's go, Quinn!
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143. Quinn!
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144. Whee!
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145. Bombs away!
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146. —Huh?
—
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147. Yes!
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148. Did you see the way
I handled those creeps?
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149. Pow! Barn!
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150. Oh, Batgirl, eat your heart out.
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151. What was she before she went bonkers?
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152. A clinical psychiatrist.
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153. Figures.
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154. —Any word on the Joker?
—Nothing.
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155. I even checked with Gordon again,
and the mayor still refuses
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156. to let the cops evacuate the city.
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157. Oh, it's brilliant.
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158. Way to go, Mr. J.!
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159. What are you saying?
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160. Oh, come on, Bats.
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161. You've seen how my pudding
keeps an eye on Gotham.
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162. What better way to
tie up the cops
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163. than to tie up the mayor?
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164. Whoo-hoo!
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165. See, do I know how
Mr. J. thinks, or what? Ha!
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166. And here you thought I was just another
bubble—headed blond bimbo.
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167. Well, the joke's on you.
I'm not even a real blond.
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168. Good job.
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169. Huh? Hey!
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170. —What gives?
—I can't risk you warning the Joker.
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171. Would I do a thing like that?
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172. Hey, let me out! Come on!
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173. Boy, you just can't trust some people.
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174. Nothing like a moonlight dip,
eh, Mr. Mayor?
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175. Please, just make your ransom demands
and get on with it.
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176. Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy.
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177. - You can't mean—
—Oh, yes, indeed y-do.
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178. Instead of taking you, the cops
and the Batman down separately,
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179. I'm going to blast you all at once.
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180. Send down the plane, boys.
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181. We're blowing town.
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182. Literally.
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183. Yes, sir.
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184. But all those innocent people.
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185. Some joke on them, eh?
Think of it as the ultimate punch line.
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186. Ha!
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187. What? Hey!
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188. Gee, it's amazing what you find
in people's glove compartments.
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189. Harley?
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190. Hi, pudding. Miss me?
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191. You clever little minx.
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192. How did you escape from Arkham?
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193. Batman sprung me so I could find you.
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194. Had me all locked up
in his bad old car, too.
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195. AW.
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196. Quinn, we had a deal!
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197. Deal's off, B-man. No one ever said
anything about hurting Mr. J.
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198. Oh!
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199. AUTOMATED VOICE: 10-minute countdown
sequence has been engaged.
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200. Oh, my Lord.
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201. Come, my dear.
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202. We'll get to a safe altitude,
then watch the fireworks.
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203. It's lucky you were here, Harley.
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204. The countdown sequence
didn't leave Joker enough time
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205. to swing by Arkham and pick you up.
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206. Quiet, brat.
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207. You were gonna come back for me,
weren't you, pudding?
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208. Of course, pumpkin pie.
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209. It's just that... Well, here you are,
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210. so I can save myself a trip.
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211. But what about all our friends?
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212. Ivy and Two—Face and hat guy
and lizard man and puppet head and—
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213. What about them?
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214. Don't forget your little pets.
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215. The babies!
We can't leave the babies!
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216. I'll buy you a goldfish!
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217. —Let's go!
—No!
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218. Why, you little—
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219. You know, Bats, I got a crazy idea
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220. Mr. J. may not be the guy
for me after all.
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221. Ha!
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222. —Go around again!
—But, boss...
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223. - I said do it!
- Yes, sir.
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224. —Made it with time to spare.
—
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225. That bomb's going off
even if I go with it!
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226. Laugh this off, pudding!
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227. Whoa!
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228. —Freeze, clown.
—Quinn, stop!
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229. He's mine, Bats.
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230. You wouldn't dare.
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231. You don't have the guts.
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232. Not in a million years would you—
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233. Baby, you're the greatest.
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