1. —
—
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2. Oh, no.
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3. Let me in, please.
I have to see Mr. Thorne.
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4. A Sidney Debris to see you, sir.
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5. Send him in.
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6. Mr. Thorne, I'm so grateful
you're willing to see me on such short—
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7. Nonsense, Sidney. Come in.
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8. Join me for a demitasse?
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9. No, thank you, sir.
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10. Oh.
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11. —Sorry about the leather.
—Mmm.
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12. I hear you've made quite a name
for yourself on the streets, Sidney.
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13. What is it they're calling you? Oh, yes.
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14. "The Man Who Killed Batman."
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15. Well, yes, no... That is, I didn't...
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16. Oh, Mr. Thorne, I'm in big trouble.
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17. Now, now, just relax, man.
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18. And tell me what's on your mind.
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19. Well, for a while now, I've been
trying to move my way up in the rackets.
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20. A few nights ago, my pal Eddie G.
told me about a big drug shipment
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21. he was picking up for some mob hotshot.
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22. Sounded like an opportunity
and I wanted in.
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23. Whoa!
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24. Hey, hey.
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25. - You want to blow this whole deal?
—Sorry, Eddie.
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26. Why did you bring along that loser?
He's useless.
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27. Not as bait for Batman.
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28. He'll be too busy kicking the crud
out of Sid to notice us.
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29. Yo, Sid.
This is your big chance, bud.
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30. You do this job right, you might even
score yourself a cool mob name.
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31. Like what?
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32. Uh... We'll call you
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33. Sid the Squid.
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34. Sid the Squid.
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35. Yeah, yeah.
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36. Now, get your keister up there
and holler if you see anything.
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37. Like a hungry sea predator,
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38. Sid the Squid stretched his tentacles
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39. through the Gotham underworld.
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40. Yeah, boy, I'm on my way.
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41. Nothing's gonna stop me now.
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42. That's weird, wonder where that...
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43. Help!
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44. The Batman.
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45. Hey, this isn't what it looks like.
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46. Looks like a drug run to me. Someone's
flooding the streets with that trash.
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47. - I want his name.
- I don't know.
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48. I'm just the lookout, honest.
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49. Sid's taking on the Batman.
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50. Little weasel's got guts.
No brains, but guts.
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51. Split.
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52. —
—
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53. Oh, I'm so sorry.
It was an accident, really.
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54. —You okay?
—Back off.
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55. Yes, sir.
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56. —
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57. Don't let me fall, please!
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58. Stop struggling. Let go!
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59. —What?
—What was that?
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60. I didn't mean it. He came right at me.
I was just trying to get away,
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61. and he went over the side.
Boom, whoosh, fire!
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62. I'm sorry.
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63. No one could live through that.
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64. You know what this means?
Sid the Squid just offed the Batman.
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65. You should be happy, Sidney.
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66. Through a one—in—a—million mishap,
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67. you've realized the dream
of every criminal in Gotham.
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68. Huh?
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69. The utter demise of Batman.
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70. You know, Mr. Thorne, my whole life
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71. I've dreamed of being a big shot.
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72. Sidney, Sidney, Sidney.
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73. And that night, for one minute,
all my dreams came true.
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74. To Sid the Squid,
the man who burned the bat.
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75. Squid! Squid! Squid!
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76. The toughest guy in Gotham!
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77. Suddenly I'm thinking, if I take down
the guy who took down Batman,
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78. then I'll be the toughest guy in town.
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79. You got my vote, Chief.
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80. Come on, Squid, give him what for.
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81. —THUG: Come on, let's get it going here.
—
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82. Get up. Come on.
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83. It was nuts, I tell you.
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84. Every creep and lowlife trying to get a
little piece of the guy who got Batman.
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85. I was actually relieved
when the cops showed up.
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86. Well, sort of.
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87. —You can't keep me here.
- I got rights.
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88. —Lousy bulls.
—
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89. Simmer down, party boys.
You'll be out tomorrow morning.
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90. Uh, Montoya, word is coming in
from the streets on a homicide victim.
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91. —They have an ID?
—Yeah, it's, uh...
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92. It's Batman.
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93. What? How?
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94. That explosion at the customs house.
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95. They said it's the work
of some mastermind called the Squid.
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96. Look, Renee, the commish
is taking it pretty hard.
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97. —Could you, uh...
—Sure, sure.
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98. How about it, losers?
You see anything tonight?
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99. What's the word on this Squid guy, huh?
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100. Oh...
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101. What about you, skinny?
You got anything to say?
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102. Just one minute, please.
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103. I'm Harleen Quinzel,
legal counsel to Mr. Debris.
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104. I've paid his bail, and he doesn't
have to answer any questions
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105. until he's formally arraigned.
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106. Don't I know you from some place?
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107. I think I served you a subpoena once.
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108. It was a small subpoena.
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109. Gee! Who would care enough
to bail me out of the jug?
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110. My mom doesn't even speak to me.
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111. And my parole officer's still in jail.
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112. Wow, lady, you sure pile on the makeup.
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113. My boss likes me
to wear a smile to work.
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114. Hey, I've seen you. You work for...
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115. The Joker.
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116. Welcome, Sidney.
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117. Please, allow me the honor
of shaking hands
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118. with the man who did the impossible.
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119. The man who killed Batman.
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120. Whoops! Sorry, force of habit.
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121. You know, there's just one thing
bothering me about your story, Sid.
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122. No body, no batus delecti, so to speak.
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123. We need to pull a job tonight
just to make sure.
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124. Make sure of what, boss?
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125. Why, that old Batsy's
bought the cave, of course.
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126. And one more thing, Murphy.
Don't ask stupid questions.
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127. What?
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128. —Ah! Ooh!
—
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129. I'll get the mop.
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130. Right y—o! Harley, you loot the safe
while the boys and I set up.
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131. Right away, Mr. J.
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132. When the cops show, stall them
for a while. Nothing too fancy.
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133. Just keep them busy
until Bats gets here. Got it?
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134. Sure, boss.
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135. —Any questions, Murph?
—No, sir.
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136. Good man.
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137. And if Batman hasn't really
gone to his final reward,
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138. we'll see that he gets there.
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139. Mmm. From pinching pennies
to rubbing elbows with the Joker.
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140. —Not bad, Sidney.
—Please.
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141. Connections like him I can do without.
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142. Naturally, it didn't take
the cops long to seal off the building.
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143. Not that it mattered to Mr. Happy.
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144. Where is he?
He's never been this late before.
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145. There's a certain rhythm
to these things.
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146. I cause trouble, he shows up.
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147. We have some laughs,
and the game starts all over again.
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148. Only, now, thanks to you,
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149. I have this terrible feeling
he's really not coming.
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150. Whee! Look at all the pretties.
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151. Put them back, Harley.
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152. Oh, Mr. J., you're such a kidder.
You never could...
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153. I said, put them back!
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154. Sure, boss, I can do that. This is me
putting them back. No problemo.
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155. Without Batman, crime has no punch line.
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156. A laughing gas bomb
kept the cops busy
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157. while we slipped out the back.
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158. Later, the Joker held a little memorial
at the Ace Chemical plant.
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159. You know what's great
about you, Puddin'?
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160. You really put the "fun” in funeral.
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161. Dear friends,
today is the day the clown cried.
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162. And he cries
not for the passing of one man,
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163. but for the death of a dream.
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164. The dream that he would someday
taste the ultimate victory
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165. over his hated enemy.
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166. For it was the Batman who made me
the happy soul I am today.
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167. How I agonized over the perfect way
to thank him for that.
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168. Perhaps with a cyanide pie in the face.
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169. Or an exploding whoopee cushion,
playfully planted in the Batmobile.
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170. But those dreams were dashed
by the weaselly little gunsel
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171. sitting there in our midst.
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172. The cowardly, insignificant ganef
who probably got lucky
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173. when Batman slipped on the slime trail
this loser left behind him.
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174. This mound of diseased hyena filth
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175. who's not fit to lick the dirt
from my spats!
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176. But I digress.
The time for sorrow has passed.
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177. It's time to look ahead
to a future filled with smiles.
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178. And I'll be smiling again
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179. just as soon as we take that man there,
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180. and slap him in that box there,
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181. and roll it into that vat of acid there.
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182. No, no! I never meant to do it!
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183. Help!
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184. This isn't funny anymore
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185. —
—Would it help if I said I'm sorry?
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186. I'm really, really, really,
really, really sorry.
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187. Well, that was fun. Who's for Chinese?
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188. I thought
I was a goner for sure.
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189. Then, just as the acid started
to eat its way in...
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190. —
—
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191. Huh?
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192. I was saved. The box must have
been sucked down a drain pipe
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193. and smacked open on the bank.
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194. I knew I had to get out of town.
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195. So I called Eddie G.
and begged him to set me up
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196. with the big man behind the drug ring.
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197. He sent me to you.
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198. Please, Mr. Thorne.
You're rich and powerful.
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199. I'll do anything you say
if you can get me out of Gotham.
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200. So the famous Sid the Squid is nothing
but a pathetic victim of circumstance.
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201. Just how stupid do you think I am?
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202. Excuse me?
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203. You think I didn't hear the rumors
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204. of the third—rate stumblebum
who rubbed out the Batman?
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205. And now you say you accidentally
made a fool of the Joker?
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206. No one's that lucky or stupid.
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207. - Yes, I am. Honest.
—Admit it.
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208. You're trying to muscle in
on my drug racket.
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209. You've been playing dumb
so you can get a shot at me.
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210. No, really.
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211. Sure, I'll get you
out of Gotham, Sidney.
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212. In a pine box.
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213. - You?
—
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214. That's for pulling a gun.
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215. And that's for the drugs.
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216. And that one's for any I missed.
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217. Oh, am I glad to see you.
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218. Wait a minute, how come you're alive?
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219. I swung away
before the gas tank exploded.
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220. But I thought since you believed
I was dead,
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221. I'd tail you and see who
was calling the shots.
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222. So you were the one
who saved me from the Joker?
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223. That's right.
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224. Well, glad to be of service. See you.
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225. You're still an accomplice
to Thorne's gang.
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226. Guess I can't win for losing, huh?
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227. I don't know. In the right environment,
a man of your dangerous reputation
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228. could still get a lot of respect.
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229. —PRISONER 1: Here he comes.
—PRISONER 2: It's the Squid.
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230. Toughest man in Gotham,
nearly offed the Bat.
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231. Set Thorne up.
He made a fool out of the Joker, too.
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232. —PRISONER 5: Don't mess with him, man.
—A big shot at last.
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233. English — SDH
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