1. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
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2. Jingle all the way
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3. Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open slay, hey!
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4. Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
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5. The Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker got away!
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6. Crashing through the roof
In a one-horse open tree
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7. Busting out I go
Laughing all the wheeeee!
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8. Come on, Batman,
it's Christmas Eve.
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9. Let's kick back and get into the spirit.
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10. The Joker's escaped
from Arkham Asylum, Robin.
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11. And you really think he's gonna
make his move on Christmas Eve?
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12. Even scum spend the holidays
with their families.
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13. He has no family.
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14. Okay, I'll make a deal with you.
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15. If we go out on patrol, and Gotham
is quiet with no sign of the Joker,
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16. we come back here, have Christmas dinner
and watch It's a Wonderful Life.
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17. You know, I've never seen that.
I could never get past the title.
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18. It's a deal, then?
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19. Deal.
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20. Doesn't it warm your heart to see
everyone in the spirit of Christmas?
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21. Bah Humbug to you, too.
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22. You just can't believe
there's no use for us for one night.
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23. There.
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24. Hey, lady, hold up.
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25. You dropped this package
a couple blocks back.
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26. Oh, it's for my grandson.
Thanks so much.
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27. Merry Christmas.
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28. Now can we go home?
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29. He could give lessons
to Scrooge.
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30. The Christmas goose
will be ready shortly.
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31. You know, we really should've done
one more sweep of the city.
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32. Now just relax, Bruce.
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33. You're gonna love It's a Wonderful Life.
It's a great movie.
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34. It's not relentlessly cheerful, is it?
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35. No, it's about how much
of a difference
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36. one man can make to a city.
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37. Sound familiar?
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38. Uh, wrong channel.
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39. Some kind of Christmas special.
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40. It's a Wonderful Life
will not be seen this year.
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41. In its place is the following.
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42. Joker here.
Greetings, Gotham, and merry Christmas.
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43. I hope you're watching, Batman.
This one's for you.
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44. Live from Gotham City,
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45. the show that nobody wants to see
but everyone will watch.
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46. Yes, it's Christmas with the Joker!
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47. And now, let's welcome our host,
the Clown Prince of Crime,
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48. the Joker!
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49. Greetings from Gotham City.
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50. And welcome to the first annual
Christmas with the Joker.
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51. Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.
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52. Have I got a show for you tonight.
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53. It's loaded with surprises
and mystery guests and Christmas jeer.
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54. Well, Batman,
you were sure right about the Joker.
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55. Any leads?
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56. I've accessed Gotham's
electrical mainframe.
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57. And I'm zeroing in on the power surges
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58. to pinpoint the location
of Joker's broadcast signal.
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59. - That's it.
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60. I don't know, Batman, it seems too easy.
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61. It's never easy with the Joker.
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62. Oh, Batman, I hope you're watching
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63. 'cause I've got
a very special surprise for you.
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64. Rumor has it, Christmas is a time
to share with family.
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65. And since I don't have one of my own...
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66. Aww!
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67. I decided to steal one.
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68. And here they are,
the awful Lawful family.
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69. Aren't they just the cutest
family you've ever seen?
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70. It's never easy with the Joker.
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71. Meet Daddy Lawful.
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72. You diseased maniac! I'll—
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73. Hmm.
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74. Looks like I'll have to teach
Daddy some manners.
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75. And here's Mommy Lawful.
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76. Help!
Somebody please help us. We—
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77. Ho, ho, ho. Isn't she jolly?
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78. And here we have little Baby Lawful.
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79. Coochie, coochie, coo.
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80. When I get my hands on you,
I'll rip your—
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81. I'll bet Batman wishes
he had a family just like mine.
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82. Personally, I think
relatives are a bore,
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83. so Batman can have them
if he can find them by midnight.
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84. Otherwise...
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85. Hold tight, we're almost there.
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86. Hi, I'm Laffy,
Joker's helpful little elf.
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87. I'm here to present Batman
with a very special Christmas surprise.
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88. Uh-oh, here it comes.
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89. Gee, Joker, it's sure nice of you
to get Bat Breath a present.
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90. Ho, ho, I'm just that kind of guy.
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91. It's an exact replica of Gotham City.
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92. It has everything,
even trains and bridges.
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93. Bridges? I just love blowing up bridges.
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94. Well, in that case,
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95. let's go live to Donner and Blitzen
at the President's Bridge.
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96. Greetings, Donner.
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97. How about singing us a merry tune
while you blow up the bridge?
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98. Sure, boss.
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99. Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
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100. That was great!
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101. The fun has just begun.
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102. The 11:30 train
will be along any minute.
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103. We've gotta stop that train.
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104. Oh, look, Laffy, Mommy Lawful
has something to say.
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105. What's up, Mommy?
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106. My mother's on that train.
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107. Your mother?
Well, that's different, then.
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108. Yeah, it'll be even
more exciting when it crashes.
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109. You uncouple the passenger cars.
I'll get the engineer.
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110. The bridge is out. Come on.
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111. Bah Humbug.
I hate Batman and Robin.
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112. Then let's get rid of them.
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113. Oh, boy, let's build a snowman.
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114. We've isolated
the Joker's broadcast signal.
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115. It's coming from the observatory
on Mount Gotham.
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116. There, the radar antenna.
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117. What's that?
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118. Careful, Robin. I'm sure there's
more to this than meets the eye.
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119. Merry Christmas, Batman.
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120. I'm so glad you could join us.
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121. What's your game, Joker?
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122. Oh, just a little holiday
entertainment, Batman.
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123. I'm sure all the folks at home will
enjoy sharing this special occasion.
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124. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
live from the top of Mount Gotham,
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125. the death of Batman.
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126. When you care enough
to send the very blast.
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127. We'll return in just a moment,
but first a word from our sponsor.
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128. Robin, try and get inside
the observatory.
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129. I'll draw its fire.
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130. Whoops. Looks like we're experiencing
technical difficulty.
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131. But don't worry, folks,
we're still on the air.
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132. Oh, no! Our cannon seems
to be out of control.
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133. Gotham City could be in serious danger.
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134. Batman, Robin here.
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135. Robin, Operation Cause and Effect.
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136. Gotcha.
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137. Batman?
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138. I'm fine. But we're not any closer
to finding Joker's hideout.
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139. What's our next move?
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140. To be quite honest, I don't know.
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141. Batman, it's almost midnight.
We have to do something.
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142. It's up to the Joker now.
Only a miracle can save the hostages.
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143. Arrgh! Where's that Bat fella?
And that Robin fella?
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144. Ooh, they're gonna spoil my Christmas.
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145. What's the matter? Can't they figure
anything out? Time's up.
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146. I'm rubbing everybody out at midnight.
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147. But wait, we have
another present to open.
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148. Let's not keep Mommy Lawful waiting.
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149. Too bad Batman is such a party pooper.
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150. Maybe he doesn't know how to get here.
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151. All dressed up with nowhere to go.
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152. Well, I wonder what Mommy Lawful
is getting for Christmas.
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153. Ooh! The suspense is killing me.
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154. Is it? Can it be? Oh, yes!
It's a Betty Blooper doll.
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155. And what do Better Blooper dolls do?
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156. Why, you just wind them up...
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157. And they wreak havoc on Gotham City.
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158. I haven't seen
one of those dolls in years.
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159. They don't make dolls like that anymore,
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160. not since the Laffco toy factory
went out of business 14 years ago.
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161. Third and Main, downtown.
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162. Look sharp, Robin.
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163. Where's that music coming from?
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164. Good question.
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165. Look out!
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166. Stand ready. More on the way.
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167. Stand clear, Robin.
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168. They don't call you
"Batman" for nothing.
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169. Snipers!
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170. Where'd he go?
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171. There he is.
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172. - Huh?
- What?
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173. Look out!
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174. Whoa!
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175. I love you very much.
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176. Keep your eyes open for the Joker.
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177. I'll save you the trouble, Batman.
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178. Come and get your Christmas present,
or the kiddies get it.
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179. Let them go, Joker. It's me you want.
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180. Merry Christmas, Batman.
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181. Well, go on, open it.
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182. Don't do it, Batman!
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183. Easy, Robin.
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184. Oh, I can't stand it.
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185. Robin, take care of 'em.
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186. Run, run as fast as you can.
You'll not catch me, I'm the Joker man.
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187. Merry Christmas, Joker.
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188. Bah Humbug.
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189. It was nice of Commissioner Gordon
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190. to give you that recording
of It's a Wonderful Life.
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191. And it is a wonderful life.
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192. It has its moments.
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193. Don we now our gay apparel
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194. Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
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195. Merry Christmas.
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