1. Oh, dear.
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2. Such table manners.
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3. Perhaps I can make you act
a bit more civilized.
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4. Bravo!
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5. They all laughed when I said I'd find
a way to tap into another
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6. creature's mind.
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7. Why, with this band and these
electrodes,
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8. I can control anything.
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9. Psst, Jervis.
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10. Oh, Alice.
What a nice surprise.
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11. Yeah, yeah. Look busy.
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12. Dr. Cates, Mr. Wayne.
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13. Right this way.
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14. Bruce, you remember Jervis Tetch.
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15. —Hello.
—Of course.
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16. I read your proposal on using microchips
to enhance the brain's potential.
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17. Sounds intriguing.
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18. Actually, the prototype
isn't quite ready yet.
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19. Tetch, I think we owe our founder
and employer, Mr. Wayne,
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20. a little more than lame excuses.
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21. - Sorry.
—That's all right, Dr. Cates.
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22. Mr. Tetch is a valued member
of our research team.
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23. I'm sure we can spare him more time.
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24. As you say, Bruce.
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25. Thank you.
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26. You got off easy this time, Tetch,
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27. but heads could roll
if you slip up again.
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28. She's always like that
when the big boss drops by.
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29. Cheer up. Mr. Wayne knows
what you mean to the company.
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30. Oh.
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31. Sometimes, Alice, I think you're
the only one who understands me.
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32. That's just
what my boyfriend says.
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33. I guess I'm lucky to have two
such amazing men in my life.
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34. See you after lunch.
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35. Of course, intellectually,
I know it's all wrong.
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36. She's got a boyfriend, after all.
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37. Better to withdraw like a gentleman.
Forget her.
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38. Turn my heart to other pursuits.
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39. Never!
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40. Look. I've already developed
a circuitry card
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41. powerful enough
to control a human brain.
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42. It would be so easy to make her forget
her boorish beau and love me.
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43. Ah.
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44. But that would reduce her
to a soulless shell.
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45. Oh, no, not my Alice.
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46. Oh.
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47. It's hopeless.
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48. —
—DR. Oh, Alice, I'm sorry.
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49. Curiouser and curiouser.
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50. I just wanted to talk about
where our relationship was going
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51. and Billy got so defensive.
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52. Mmm. Classic male fear of commitment.
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53. The next thing I knew,
we were shouting, screaming.
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54. Saying we never wanted
to see each other again.
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55. O frabjous day! Callooh! Calla y!
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56. She's mine for the asking.
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57. I'll sweep her off her feet, treat her
to a wonderful night on the town and...
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58. Nothing.
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59. What could a beautiful girl like her
ever see in someone like me?
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60. How could I impress her?
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61. Hmm.
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62. How, indeed.
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63. Jervis?
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64. Good evening, Miss Pleasance.
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65. I'm here to help you forget
your recent heartbreak.
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66. Gotham can be a wonderland, Alice.
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67. Tonight, let me be your guide.
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68. I'll get my coat.
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69. Did you see that?
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70. —Gotta be the Bat—Creep.
—Hey, easy money headed our way.
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71. This is really a surprise, Jervis.
You're so...
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72. Quiet at work.
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73. Ah, still waters run deep, my dear.
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74. It's been my philosophy that people
should take what they want from life.
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75. Hey, ours too.
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76. Okay, Mr. Hat, let's have the money.
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77. On your way, curs,
lest I'm forced to teach you a lesson.
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78. Jervis, no.
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79. It's your funeral, nut boy.
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80. Please, Mr. Hat, go easy on us.
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81. We're sorry. Honest.
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82. Why don't you do something useful,
like, oh, go jump in the river.
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83. Okay.
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84. —Are you all right?
—I'm sorry you had to see that.
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85. But they had to be taught a lesson.
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86. Dare we hope Gotham treats you
to an early evening, sir?
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87. I should be so lucky. The police
emergency band just switched on.
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88. Then I'll prepare your usual breakfast,
toast, coffee, bandages.
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89. Good night, Alfred.
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90. All units. All units.
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91. Two possible suicides reported scaling
the Gotham Bridge suspension tower.
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92. —All units, please respond.
—BATMAN: Guess I'm elected.
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93. Engage.
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94. Lousy night for a swim.
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95. Mr. Hat told us to jump in the river.
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96. Right. Look, you guys stay calm and—
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97. Gotta do what Mr. Hat says.
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98. Stop!
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99. No!
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100. Hey, man, keep away from me.
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101. We never touched the creep.
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102. Okay, maybe we hit him up
for money, but we never—
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103. Hey, what are we doing here?
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104. Monsieur Tetch, I have created
a gastronomical delight for you.
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105. All on the house, of course.
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106. Thank you, Antoine.
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107. Pardon, Monsieur Tetch.
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108. Would you be so kind as to favor us
with a photo for our celebrity wall?
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109. Enchanté, my dear.
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110. I had no idea you were
such a man about town.
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111. Ah, this is a side I share only
with those closest to me.
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112. Don't forget to lock up
when you're done, Mr. Tetch.
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113. Right-o.
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114. You know, Alice in Wonderland
was always my favorite story.
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115. Do you remember
"The Mock Turtle's Song”?
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116. Will you, won't you, will you, won't you
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117. Won't you join the dance?
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118. When you showed me that strange card,
I recalled an image from my childhood.
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119. It seems those near—suicides
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120. had a run—in
with a self-styled Mad Hatter.
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121. I saw that picture earlier today
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122. in the office of a scientist
who creates circuitry similar to this.
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123. Thank you for a wonderful time.
You're a terrific friend.
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124. Until tomorrow, dear Alice.
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125. Tomorrow and every day afterward.
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126. What a sweet, funny man.
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127. —BILLY: Alice?
—Billy?
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128. Baby, I'm sorry. Can we talk?
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129. Will you, won't you, will you...
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130. Ah, good morning. Hello!
Good to see you. Lovely day, what?
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131. Oh, Jervis, thanks so much
for cheering me up last night.
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132. Listen, I have the most incredible news.
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133. Billy was there
after you dropped me off.
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134. He apologized. I forgave him.
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135. And then, he gave me this.
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136. Can you believe it?
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137. I'm getting married.
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138. Jervis, your hand.
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139. Oh, it's nothing. Forget it.
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140. —And congratulations.
- Jervis?
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141. Jervis?
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142. I can still fix this. I can still win!
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143. —
—DR. Tetch!
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144. I don't know what you did,
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145. but Bruce Wayne
is demanding to see you now!
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146. I promise you, Tetch, it's your head
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147. if you've gotten
my department in any trouble.
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148. Oh, do be quiet, Dr. Cates!
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149. Excuse me, Alice.
Have you seen Marcia or Jervis Tetch?
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150. They left together
about half an hour ago.
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151. Together?
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152. Hello? Hi, sweetie.
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153. —My fiancé.
—Congratulations.
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154. Billy, what's wrong?
You sound so— What?
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155. But why? Billy? Billy.
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156. Excuse me, Mr. Wayne.
I think I'm gonna need a minute alone.
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157. Sorry, Billy, me lad,
but all's fair in love and war.
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158. Alice, darling.
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159. I had to come back when I heard
that cad abandoned you again.
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160. How did you know? I didn't tell anyone.
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161. Oh, pish tosh.
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162. What matters now is we have each other,
now and forever.
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163. Oh...
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164. This is getting too weird.
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165. What have you done with
Marcia Cates and this girl's fiancé?
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166. No, I don't like this game.
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167. Let's play another.
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168. I anticipated there'd be trouble sooner
or later, so I enlisted some help.
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169. I'm sure you recognize my friends,
the Walrus and the Carpenter.
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170. Why are you doing this?
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171. For us, my dearest.
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172. Oh, believe me.
I didn't want it this way.
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173. Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.
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174. How I wonder what you're at.
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175. Now, this is a game more to my liking.
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176. Are you, the famous Batman,
so intent upon destroying my happiness
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177. that you'll harm these poor,
mind-warped innocents to get me?
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178. Let's find out.
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179. Off with his head.
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180. Oh, one thing I forgot to mention.
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181. My control over my pawns
increases their strength.
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182. Guess you found that out, huh?
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183. Oh!
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184. Off with his head!
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185. Batman.
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186. There's the knave. Off with his head!
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187. They're programmed to attack me.
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188. —But they won't fight you.
- I gotcha.
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189. My aching skull.
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190. Come, my dear. It's time we were away.
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191. You're mighty
in Gotham, Batman,
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192. but in Wonderland,
the Mad Hatter reigns supreme.
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193. I'll cut that cowl off your neck
before you'll take her.
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194. I've waited my whole
lonely life for her!
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195. Then all you've waited for is a puppet.
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196. A soulless little doll.
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197. It didn't have to be this way.
You made me do this to her!
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198. Grrr!
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199. —BILLY: Alice?
—Oh, Billy!
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200. Would not, could not...
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201. Would not, could not.
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202. Oh, could not join the dance.
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