1. As Batman, you must handle
the widely varied tactics
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2. of your criminal adversaries.
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3. Some will try to distract you
with bizarre gimmicks.
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4. Ah-ha!
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5. Learn to use
their weapons against them.
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6. These quirks have a pattern.
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7. Recognizing them is the key to winning.
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8. Not too shabby, huh?
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9. Better.
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10. Though your execution
could use more finesse.
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11. Hey, it gets the job done.
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12. Speaking of jobs,
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13. yours is to get a replacement
for this one after school.
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14. So I tell this chick,
"Sure, I'll call... When I'm desperate."
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15. Nelson.
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16. Howard.
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17. Hope you didn't break your hand.
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18. What do you want?
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19. Big party at my place this weekend.
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20. Parents are out of town.
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21. And, hey, it's gonna be wild.
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22. See you guys there, right?
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23. Doubtful.
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24. Great. Cool. Friday night.
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25. So I tell this guy, "Sure,
we can date... When I'm desperate."
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26. Yo, Blade, Chelsea.
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27. I guess I'll be seeing you ladies
at my schway party this Friday.
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28. A party?
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29. Who else is going?
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30. Well, I just spoke to Nelson
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31. and, uh, some other guys
and, you know, a lot of other kids.
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32. Their names escape me at the moment.
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33. Super. See you there.
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34. Social meltdown.
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35. It's too painful to watch.
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36. Hey, guys. I think we're looking
at a packed house on Friday.
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37. Relax, Howard.
Forget the A-list. It's degrading.
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38. Only politicians chase after people
who don't like them.
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39. Terry, Max, and I
are definitely going to be there.
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40. Think of it as quality over quantity.
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41. Gotta run.
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42. Small, intimate party might be fun.
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43. I appreciate
what you guys were saying,
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44. but I still want a cool girlfriend
like Chelsea or Blade.
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45. Then kids would come to me.
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46. It's a sign that you're somebody.
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47. Somebody pretty shallow.
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48. Shallow but popular.
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49. Hey, the boss' car.
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50. How about a lift?
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51. Sure, if you don't mind a side trip.
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52. I have to run an errand for Mr. Wayne.
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53. Oh, if I had wheels like these,
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54. I'd get more girls than a rock star.
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55. I did mention the whole shallow thing,
didn't I?
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56. Yes, Mr. Wayne's special order is ready.
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57. He, uh, certainly goes through
a lot of these synthoids.
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58. You know old folks.
Always breaking stuff.
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59. You'll have to sign
federal clearance form S-29Y.
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60. It's a new one.
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61. Paperwork makes the world go round.
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62. I'll be right back.
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63. This place is great.
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64. Skip? Louie.
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65. You can stop worrying
about those lonely weekends.
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66. Your custom order's ready.
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67. Thought you'd be.
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68. Everything you wanted.
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69. Blonde, dimples, the works.
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70. Oh, brunette?
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71. My mistake.
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72. Delivery's tonight.
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73. Behave yourself.
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74. Hey, drifty, you got a purpose?
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75. I'm here to pick up a special order.
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76. Ah, you want a custom job.
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77. Something like that
little synthoid number over there?
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78. Sure, sure, yeah.
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79. Uh, I mean, can you?
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80. Well, legally, no.
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81. But for the right price,
I'd shave a coyote.
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82. Will this be enough?
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83. Oh, yeah.
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84. Tell me what you want,
and I'll make it happen.
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85. Personality-wise,
she's gotta be completely devoted to me.
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86. One hundred percent loyal.
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87. Physically, around five-seven,
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88. red hair, medium length,
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89. and the coolest green eyes.
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90. Whoo-hoo!
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91. Mmm-mmm.
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92. - What's your name, doll?
- I don't know.
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93. First-day jitters, huh?
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94. Hill High can be friendly
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95. if you've got the right friends.
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96. No, thanks.
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97. I'm only interested in him.
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98. Excuse me, Nelson.
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99. She's out of your league.
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100. Your friend got a name, Groote?
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101. Cynthia.
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102. Gotta run.
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103. No way a nimbus like Groote
deserves a schway babe like that.
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104. I'm gonna have to put him in his place.
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105. You in here, Groote?
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106. Come on out, Howie. I wanna talk to you.
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107. Nelson's pretty banged up.
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108. Good thing he was still wearing
his hockey pads.
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109. Otherwise, he might have been killed.
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110. How weird.
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111. I mean, lockers don't just fall over.
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112. Why dwell on it?
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113. Besides, Nelson didn't seem
like a very nice guy to begin with.
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114. - Brr.
- That girl's subarctic.
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115. Are you nuts?
This is the boys' locker room.
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116. Yeah, I can smell the mildew.
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117. What's up?
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118. Check this out.
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119. Hand prints?
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120. They don't look big enough
to knock over lockers.
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121. No fingerprints, either.
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122. Maybe he wore gloves or something.
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123. Terry,
you gotta get me out of here.
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124. - How?
- I don't know.
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125. Think of something.
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126. I'll let Mr. Silverstein know
you'll be late.
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127. You are so dead, McGinnis.
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128. Like I was saying, kickoff time
for the party of the century.
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129. My party is 8:00 p.m. tonight.
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130. When it ends is up to you.
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131. If you're not too busy being Mr. Host,
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132. maybe I can pry you away
from Cynthia for a dance.
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133. You're talking to Howard Groote.
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134. All things are possible.
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135. My notebook.
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136. I'm very sorry, Howard.
You know I didn't mean to.
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137. I would never do anything to upset you.
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138. That's okay. It happens.
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139. They don't make plastics
like they used to.
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140. See you tonight, Howie.
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141. Nice view, huh?
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142. You wouldn't be the jealous type,
would you, Cynthia?
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143. Excuse me.
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144. I've known Howard for quite a while.
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145. - How long have you known him?
- All my life.
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146. Come on, Cynthia, who are you?
Where do you come from?
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147. What's the real deal
with you and Howard?
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148. I'm very devoted to Howard.
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149. One hundred percent loyal.
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150. No way.
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151. - A synthoid?
- Looks that way.
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152. I didn't know they made androids
that could double for people.
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153. They're not supposed to.
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154. I'm gonna have to check it out.
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155. When you get to the party,
keep an eye on Cynthia, okay?
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156. Oh, and let Dana know
I'll be a little late.
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157. You live dangerously, McGinnis.
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158. So I said...
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159. Yes, Mr. Drago,
that's no problem.
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160. All six can look like keno girls.
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161. Uh-huh, we're very discreet.
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162. But I'm a big blabbermouth.
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163. Your little sideline's over, pal.
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164. You oughta look
into getting a synthoid, Batfreak.
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165. It'll give you something to do
on Friday night.
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166. Come on, right now!
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167. Let's finish it.
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168. What's the matter, no guts?
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169. Wait a minute.
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170. Hey, hey, hey. You got me.
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171. Can't we work something out?
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172. Maybe I could give you a little tip
or something to forget all of this.
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173. Let me give you a tip.
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174. Get a good lawyer.
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175. Maybe you can walk me home.
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176. We won't have to walk.
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177. That's right, ten goals in one game.
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178. But you lost.
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179. I think it was Martin Buber who said...
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180. Hey, Howard,
we should double date sometime.
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181. I'd be up for that.
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182. Actually, I'd be interested
in single dating you anytime.
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183. I'll try to squeeze you in.
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184. Whoa, Cynthia, come on.
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185. It was nothing.
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186. Take it easy, girl.
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187. That's enough.
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188. You and I are gonna have a little talk.
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189. Hey, Howie, great cheese dingles.
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190. Where are you two going, private party?
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191. Yeah, sure.
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192. I'm going to jail.
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193. Pick up, Louie.
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194. I need a little support service here.
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195. You don't like me anymore.
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196. I do, Cynthia.
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197. I just have to fix something
in your command processor
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198. so you don't shove people around.
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199. But I am
what you wanted me to be, Howard.
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200. I just didn't mean quite so intense.
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201. You're hurting people.
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202. We won't need other people.
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203. You're my only reason for being.
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204. I'd go to pieces without you.
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205. Cynthia. Cynthia.
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206. Keep your hands to your...
Cynthia!
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207. Go, Howard.
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208. We can be together forever.
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209. Forever's a long time.
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210. A real long time.
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211. And I'm kinda young.
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212. Which means we'll have
even more time together.
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213. Cynthia, listen.
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214. We have to talk.
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215. The fact is,
this relationship isn't working.
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216. You're way too possessive.
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217. It was great in the beginning
but now, I...
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218. You what?
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219. I wanna see other girls.
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220. Oh, this isn't good.
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221. Sounds like you really got her wound up.
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222. You don't know the half of it.
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223. This chick was... Hey.
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224. Okay, that's it.
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225. No more nachos.
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226. Party's over. Get out. Bye.
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227. - What's going on, man?
- Party's just started.
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228. Howard, you can't do this to me.
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229. Cynthia, please.
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230. Okay, robo-bim, round two.
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231. Down, girlfriend.
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232. Uh, hope I wasn't out of line
with that "robo-bim" crack.
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233. That's one way out of a bad date.
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234. Uh-oh.
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235. It's so schway. Cynthia's a robot
and Batman's kicking her butt.
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236. Cynthia, can't we work something out?
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237. Just because I wanna date others
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238. doesn't mean
we can't occasionally see each other.
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239. Howard, don't you understand?
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240. I was created for you.
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241. I know, but people change.
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242. Synthoids get reprogrammed.
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243. These things happen.
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244. We can still be friends.
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245. "Friends"?
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246. "Friends"?
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247. Wrong thing to say?
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248. Is it ever the right thing?
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249. She's gonna blow.
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250. Schway party, Howard.
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251. It takes real guts
to blow up your own home.
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252. Yeah, kids are gonna talk
about this night for years.
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253. You're a legend.
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254. Yo, Chelsea, I saved that dance for you.
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255. - Oh!
- Get a life, toy-boy.
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256. Whoa! What the heck happened?
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257. The party peaked early.
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258. Just look at it.
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259. How could this be any worse?
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260. Howard!
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261. See ya.
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262. Mom, Dad.
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263. I thought you had another week
in Madrid.
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264. We did until you maxed out
our credit card.
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265. What in blazes did you buy with it?
Dynamite?
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266. Dynamite to blow up the house with?
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267. I think Howard needs some quality time
alone with his folks.
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268. You think they'll ground him?
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269. Your mother's
antique doll collection...
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