1. So far we have seen, in the
lobby at a silent film festival...Copy !req
2. an unscheduled diversion.Copy !req
3. The Tramp was a Riddler.Copy !req
4. What the blazes was his game?Copy !req
5. He was after a
roll, a tasty payroll.Copy !req
6. But this roll had a twist...Copy !req
7. a crooked crew
behind a movie camera.Copy !req
8. And two stars who didn't
know they were in the picture.Copy !req
9. A trap...Copy !req
10. caught again on film.Copy !req
11. And in the abandoned cutting
room of a bankrupt movie studio...Copy !req
12. the Riddler and his felonious
filmsters enjoyed the show...Copy !req
13. and got ready for
an even stranger one.Copy !req
14. Temper tonic...Copy !req
15. poured into innocent lemonade at
Mr. Van Jones' temperance party.Copy !req
16. Incredible effect:Copy !req
17. Friends turned
into snarling beasts.Copy !req
18. A free-for-all.Copy !req
19. And down in the driveway,
a damsel in distress.Copy !req
20. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
21. Robin. Where's Robin?Copy !req
22. In the Riddler's
filthy clutches...Copy !req
23. kindling for the
biting buzz saw.Copy !req
24. We warned you before...Copy !req
25. we warn you again...Copy !req
26. in just one minute you will
see a boy wonder sawed in two.Copy !req
27. Meanwhile, even as
the buzz saw spins...Copy !req
28. a desperate Batman races from the
scene of Mr. Van Jones' fatal party...Copy !req
29. bent on pursuit
of Robin's captors.Copy !req
30. Horrors, the Boy Wonder's tiny
utility belt radio lost in the struggle.Copy !req
31. No way of contacting him now.Copy !req
32. Batman, wait!Copy !req
33. I'm so ashamed, Batman,
the way I behaved at that party.Copy !req
34. It's not your fault. Riddler's henchmen
spiked your drinks with temper tonic.Copy !req
35. You've taken my universal
drug antidote. You'll be all right.Copy !req
36. But still, my unseemly behavior certainly
contributed toward Robin's capture.Copy !req
37. Let that be a lesson.Copy !req
38. In future, be more careful from
whom you accept free lemonade.Copy !req
39. What the blazes?Copy !req
40. Great Scott, Batman. Look up
there, a parachute blossoming.Copy !req
41. "A bear like a fallen tree"?Copy !req
42. Easy. A bear lumbers and a
fallen tree becomes lumber.Copy !req
43. Good grief, another one.Copy !req
44. "Why is silk like grass?"Copy !req
45. Even easier.Copy !req
46. You measure both by the yard.Copy !req
47. Lumber, yard.Copy !req
48. The Gotham Lumber Yard. That
must be where he's holding Robin.Copy !req
49. Goodbye, commissioner.Copy !req
50. Speed to headquarters.Copy !req
51. I'll call you if I need help.Copy !req
52. Goodbye, Batman! Save that boy!Copy !req
53. Robin?Copy !req
54. Robin.Copy !req
55. Do you hear me?Copy !req
56. You'll be history now,
Batman. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
57. I'll do better
than that, Riddler.Copy !req
58. When is a man a
stupid relative, huh? Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
59. I've had enough of
your murderous riddles.Copy !req
60. Surprise, Batman.Copy !req
61. This is what is known in
the film game as a two-parter.Copy !req
62. Look. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
63. When is a man like
a stupid relative?Copy !req
64. When he's a mannequin.Copy !req
65. A dummy.Copy !req
66. Robin?Copy !req
67. Riddler?Copy !req
68. Stop! Surrender!Copy !req
69. Give yourself up...Copy !req
70. or by all that's holy, I might
forget myself and do you violence.Copy !req
71. My name is Pauline.Copy !req
72. My lawyer's name
is Mr. Oliver Wendell.Copy !req
73. Why don't you look
him up and buzz him.Copy !req
74. No use, Batman.
She's hard as nails.Copy !req
75. Knows her legal rights too.Copy !req
76. A frustrated would-be actress...Copy !req
77. a star that was never born, venting
her disappointment on society.Copy !req
78. Only one thing to
do, commissioner.Copy !req
79. Take her to the
Batcave and work on her.Copy !req
80. Great Scott, Batman. Revealing its location
would be tantamount to taking off your mask.Copy !req
81. Not quite, commissioner.Copy !req
82. Before the trip, I intend to render
her senseless with a whiff of Bat-gas.Copy !req
83. Hey, now, wait a minute.Copy !req
84. - I'd like you to come along too, commissioner.
- Me? To the Batcave?Copy !req
85. When it's a question of Robin's
safety, I don't entirely trust myself.Copy !req
86. I'd like a witness present to make
sure that I don't employ methods...Copy !req
87. which might bounce
back on me in court.Copy !req
88. Well, of course, if you wish
my presence, Batman, I'll...Copy !req
89. Bat-gas for me as well?Copy !req
90. It's a precaution I have
to take, commissioner.Copy !req
91. If you were captured
and tortured by criminals...Copy !req
92. you might reveal the
location of the Batcave.Copy !req
93. I place myself in your hands, Batman,
with the most serene confidence.Copy !req
94. Sit down, commissioner.Copy !req
95. Restrain her, Chief O'Hara.Copy !req
96. Hey, hey, wait! Wait,
I want my lawyer!Copy !req
97. Help! No, don't you dare...! Ah!Copy !req
98. I assure you, commissioner,
the sensation is not unpleasant.Copy !req
99. Your handkerchief.Copy !req
100. Great saints.Copy !req
101. Chief O'Hara, summon some men.Copy !req
102. We'll need help in getting
them to the Batmobile.Copy !req
103. Great Scott. At last,
the fabulous Batcave.Copy !req
104. - Unusual, isn't it?
- Oh, magnificent.Copy !req
105. I feel as if I've awakened
in some future age.Copy !req
106. Such equipment.Copy !req
107. What fantastic ingenuity you
and the Boy Wonder employed...Copy !req
108. - in hooking it together.
- True.Copy !req
109. We did muster many
long hours of brain power.Copy !req
110. However this is no time
for self-congratulation.Copy !req
111. A small demonstration
will now take place.Copy !req
112. - A demonstration?
- Yes, commissioner.Copy !req
113. Take this can of Bat-wake.Copy !req
114. When I give you this signal...Copy !req
115. - spray a whiff of it in the prisoner's face.
- Certainly.Copy !req
116. You will notice, commissioner,
that this Bat-mask...Copy !req
117. in most ways, resembles an
ordinary operating room oxygen mask.Copy !req
118. I will introduce no drugs, no
serums into Pauline's bloodstream.Copy !req
119. - I understand.
- Now, commissioner...Copy !req
120. - Give her the Bat-wake, please.
- Oh, yes. Ahem.Copy !req
121. Where am I?Copy !req
122. Deep in the entrails
of the earth, Pauline...Copy !req
123. where every instrument
has been designed...Copy !req
124. to combat crime and
snare its perpetrators.Copy !req
125. There are those who came
to this Batcave and never left.Copy !req
126. That is true.Copy !req
127. Now tell me, where
is Robin being held?Copy !req
128. I don't know.Copy !req
129. Are you sure?Copy !req
130. Yes.Copy !req
131. - I only know...
- Yes?Copy !req
132. - Those two riddles.
- Give them.Copy !req
133. Why was Flo Ziegfeld
like a nearsighted man?Copy !req
134. Because they both
put on spectacles. Two?Copy !req
135. What kind of men are
always above board?Copy !req
136. Chessmen.Copy !req
137. Join me over here, commissioner.Copy !req
138. Watch very carefully,
commissioner.Copy !req
139. I'm going to mingle Pauline's captured breath
with the clear liquid in this container.Copy !req
140. What do you hope to
discover, Caped Crusader?Copy !req
141. The truth, commissioner.Copy !req
142. If Pauline's
answers were true...Copy !req
143. then the oxygen content of
her breath will turn this liquid red.Copy !req
144. If, however, she lied...Copy !req
145. then the increase in her metabolism will
increase the oxygen content of her breath...Copy !req
146. and cause an imbalance, which will
leave this liquid clear and undisturbed.Copy !req
147. - Do you understand?
- Oh, yes, yes, of course, sure.Copy !req
148. Now for the test.Copy !req
149. Would you squeeze
the bag, commissioner?Copy !req
150. Thank you.Copy !req
151. Fantastic.Copy !req
152. Oh, I doff my hat to you, Batman. No
wonder you're the nemesis of crime.Copy !req
153. Obviously you were
telling the truth, young lady.Copy !req
154. A wise decision, I promise you.Copy !req
155. Commissioner.Copy !req
156. You observed I used no undue
methods to extract that confession.Copy !req
157. Oh, none whatever. I'd affirm
that in the highest court in the land.Copy !req
158. But what do those strange
clues mean, Batman?Copy !req
159. Simple, commissioner.Copy !req
160. Look at it in the context of the theme
which has run throughout this entire case:Copy !req
161. Silent movies.Copy !req
162. Clue one, spectacles.Copy !req
163. Harold Lloyd, of course.
He always wore spectacles...Copy !req
164. and he was often found perilously
balanced on the ledge of a high building.Copy !req
165. Chessmen.Copy !req
166. The Chessman Building.Copy !req
167. Right, commissioner.Copy !req
168. I'll call Chief O'Hara on the Bat-Phone, alert
him where to find you along the roadside.Copy !req
169. I'll also tell him that he will find
this standby container of Bat-wake...Copy !req
170. in your right-hand coat pocket.Copy !req
171. Oh, right there. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
172. This has been a privilege,
Batman, a rare privilege.Copy !req
173. I thank you.Copy !req
174. You're welcome.Copy !req
175. Fire away.Copy !req
176. Meanwhile, on a narrow ledge...Copy !req
177. just below the roof of the
venerable Chessman Building...Copy !req
178. the Riddler and his felonious filmsters
prepare to shoot a shattering spectacle...Copy !req
179. stolen straight
from Harold Lloyd.Copy !req
180. Coming up, the last reel in our dizzying
drama, starring the Boy Wonder...Copy !req
181. going down.Copy !req
182. Ha, ha, ha. This time no
whimsical dummy, but the real thing.Copy !req
183. You low-down fiend.
What's the point of all of this?Copy !req
184. Comedy, Boy Wonder.Copy !req
185. Lighthearted comedy to
accommodate a connoisseur.Copy !req
186. Riddler, this life of crime
has finally softened your brain.Copy !req
187. - Oh?
- Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
188. Ha, ha, ha. Can a
Robin fly if his wings are clipped?Copy !req
189. You won't earn a nickel murdering
me, Riddler. This doesn't make sense.Copy !req
190. Correct, Boy Wonder.
Not cents, dollars.Copy !req
191. At least $1 million.Copy !req
192. Rehearsal.Copy !req
193. Make sure my safety
belt doesn't show.Copy !req
194. With you, Riddler, baby.Copy !req
195. Make with the action.Copy !req
196. Whoop. Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
197. Ah-ah-ah! Whoa! Whoa!
Ah-ah-ah! Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
198. Cut. End of rehearsal.Copy !req
199. This time we film it.Copy !req
200. But mit the difference, ja?Copy !req
201. Ja, mit the difference.Copy !req
202. This time the Boy
Wonder makes the plunge.Copy !req
203. - Rolling.
- Mit the mood music.Copy !req
204. Robin!Copy !req
205. - Curses!
- The Bat-Rope!Copy !req
206. Grab it with your teeth.Copy !req
207. Hold on, Robin, tight.Copy !req
208. I'll lead you back
up to the ledge.Copy !req
209. You all right, Robin?Copy !req
210. Holy molars, am I ever glad
I take good care of my teeth.Copy !req
211. True, you owe your
life to dental hygiene.Copy !req
212. If only more people...Copy !req
213. Those cowardly crooks,
they're escaping again.Copy !req
214. If only we had our Batcopter.Copy !req
215. - Holy smokes, skywriting.
- More clues, no doubt.Copy !req
216. You're right, Batman.
Look, a riddle.Copy !req
217. "What kind of machine has ears?"Copy !req
218. That one's for nursery
school. A train, of course.Copy !req
219. A train has engineers.Copy !req
220. You wanna land us all back
up in the pen again, baby?Copy !req
221. Lackeys, you don't realize
these clues have a false meaning.Copy !req
222. "A cowboy wear a tight belt"?Copy !req
223. The same reason a policeman or
anyone else does, to hold up his pants.Copy !req
224. Train, a holdup.Copy !req
225. Wow, the El Chief.Copy !req
226. - Which?
- The El Chief, Batman.Copy !req
227. A famous train which all the
movie people used to take.Copy !req
228. And Riddler is
planning to hold it up.Copy !req
229. It fits like a glove.Copy !req
230. Yes, it does. Very
good thinking, Robin.Copy !req
231. Commissioner Gordon, Robin
calling from the Batmobile.Copy !req
232. Thank heavens you're
safe. How do you feel?Copy !req
233. Just great. How do you feel?Copy !req
234. No noxious
aftereffects whatever.Copy !req
235. Tell Batman it was like waking
from a strange, refreshing dream.Copy !req
236. I'll do that, commissioner.Copy !req
237. In the meantime,
here's a red-hot tip.Copy !req
238. Send every man you've got
to Gotham Central Station.Copy !req
239. Stake out that famous
train, the El Chief.Copy !req
240. A strange and
shocking twist to the plot.Copy !req
241. For even as the defenders of law and
order descend on Gotham Central Station...Copy !req
242. the Riddler shows up on
the other side of the city...Copy !req
243. at the mansion of Mr. Van Jones,
famed fancier of old silent films.Copy !req
244. Well, come in.Copy !req
245. Mr. Riddler, at last.Copy !req
246. Yeah, I have it right
here, Mr. Van Jones...Copy !req
247. my silent masterpiece.Copy !req
248. The only silent movie ever made
of Batman and Robin in action.Copy !req
249. I can hardly wait.Copy !req
250. Oh. Heh, heh.Copy !req
251. Imagine, the first silent epic
filmed in almost four decades...Copy !req
252. mine.Copy !req
253. What a triumph for a
collector like myself.Copy !req
254. But come on, let's
run it. Come on.Copy !req
255. Sensational, Mr. Riddler.Copy !req
256. Worth every penny of the
$100,000 I contracted to pay you.Copy !req
257. I thank you, Mr. Van Jones.Copy !req
258. Just a moment, I'll put this film in
the safe, and get you your check.Copy !req
259. Will you excuse me?Copy !req
260. Have no fear for the safety
of your epic, Mr. Riddler.Copy !req
261. I'll keep it with my others
in this burglar-proof vault.Copy !req
262. It can be opened by
positively no one but myself.Copy !req
263. Mr. Van Jones, why are
you like a clock at midnight?Copy !req
264. Because both your hands
are going straight up right now.Copy !req
265. What is this?Copy !req
266. This is your last reel.Copy !req
267. Step aside.Copy !req
268. But my film, you can't take it.Copy !req
269. They're priceless.Copy !req
270. I think we'll find a price...Copy !req
271. when you try to
ransom them back.Copy !req
272. This way, partners!Copy !req
273. No sheriff, Riddler, baby?Copy !req
274. Posse went thataway,
to the train station.Copy !req
275. - Hurry it up, boys.
- Yeah.Copy !req
276. Clean out that safe and
let's head for them hills.Copy !req
277. - What the blazes?
- A bat shadow.Copy !req
278. Same old ending, Riddler.Copy !req
279. It never fails.Copy !req
280. Thought you had us
fooled with your clues, huh?Copy !req
281. The Great Train Holdup, the
most famous silent film ever made...Copy !req
282. and the only existing print is
right here in the Van Jones safe.Copy !req
283. Get them, boys.Copy !req
284. Get them, or we'll never
make it to the border.Copy !req
285. Good heavens.Copy !req
286. Call Chief O'Hara, Robin.Copy !req
287. Tell him we have the
entire cast right here.Copy !req
288. Unh. The cast?Copy !req
289. You're about to star in a picture
of your very own, Riddler...Copy !req
290. a long picture.Copy !req
291. Up the River.Copy !req
292. Alfred, why are you dawdling so?Copy !req
293. We're going to be
late at the restaurant.Copy !req
294. - Is that so, madam?
- Well, of course, it's so.Copy !req
295. We're due to meet Dick
and Bruce there at 8:00.Copy !req
296. As you say, madam.Copy !req
297. Alfred, really, and
on my birthday too...Copy !req
298. when Dick and Bruce promised
they'd have a big surprise for me.Copy !req
299. And that's precisely what I
shouldn't wish you to miss, madam.Copy !req
300. - Happy Birthday, Mrs. Cooper.
- Many happy returns.Copy !req
301. Merciful heavens to Betsy,
it's Batman and Robin.Copy !req
302. My friend, Bruce, contacted
me through the commissioner.Copy !req
303. He said you'd always wanted
to meet the Dynamic Duo.Copy !req
304. Kind of like a birthday
surprise, Mrs. Cooper.Copy !req
305. - It's an honor, ma'am.
- And a pleasure too.Copy !req
306. May we take the liberty?Copy !req
307. I think we better run.Copy !req
308. Right. We'll be late for that
appointment we have tonight.Copy !req
309. Happy birthday
again, Mrs. Copper.Copy !req
310. Quickly, let's race
to the Batmobile.Copy !req
311. Oh, Alfred.Copy !req
312. Alfred, imagine. They kissed me.Copy !req
313. Will Bruce and Dick ever
believe that when I tell them?Copy !req
314. Oh, I'm sure they will.Copy !req
315. After all, I was a witness.Copy !req
316. - Madam?
- Heh, heh.Copy !req
317. Next week, the
Penguin waddles again.Copy !req