1. (male narrator)
Gotham City on
a pleasant morning.
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2. And in one of its most
exclusive fur salons
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3. elegant ladies shop
with doting husbands.
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4. This is just too spotty.
What an elegant coat.
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5. And a magnificent color.
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6. Darling, what do you think?
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7. If you like it,
darling, it's all yours.
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8. Oh, you're a dream.
I just love it.
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9. Alright, everybody, stand still
and no one will be injured!
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10. This is a stickup!
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11. Get out of here.
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12. Who are you anyhow?
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13. Your friendly
neighborhood holdup man
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14. at your service, sir.
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15. What is this?
A vulgar joke?
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16. Ah, yes. But the joke
is on you, my good fellow.
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17. And there's nothing vulgar
about half a million in furs.
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18. I do believe it's that
arch criminal The Joker.
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19. Ladies and gentlemen,
my staff of felonious furriers.
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20. Alright, everybody,
to the center of the room.
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21. Come, come, come.
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22. A joke. What are more mink skins
used for than anything else?
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23. To hold minks together.
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24. Mr. and Mrs. Prescott Belmont
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25. of the banking
Belmonts I believe.
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26. Oh, what lovely jewels,
Mrs. Belmont.
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27. And what a stunning coat.
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28. Well, thank heavens
we haven't bought it yet.
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29. Uh, closer. Closer, everyone.
Closer, closer.
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30. I want a tight
little group.
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31. Alright, staff, get ready.
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32. - Take aim!
- No.
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33. They're gonna shoot
us down like cattle.
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34. Why, you filthy cad!
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35. Fire!
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36. And now, Mrs. Belmont,
if you please.
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37. Oh, thank you, dear lady.
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38. I'm all stuck up.
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39. But of course, I said
this is a stickup. Ha ha ha.
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40. And now to all, farewell.
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41. Staff, let us away.
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42. A hairpin?
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43. First we get a report that he's
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44. stolen a hole
from a golf green.
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45. And now a hairpin?
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46. What is The Joker up to?
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47. About to start on
another series of his
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48. dastardly crimes,
I'll wager.
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49. - Then we'd better not delay.
- Right.
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50. For there's no one
else who can cope
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51. with the capers of
that devilish clown.
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52. Right, Chief O'Hara.
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53. Though we may never know
who he is behind his mask
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54. thank goodness he's there
when a crisis befalls us.
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55. And in Wayne Manor, stately
home of millionaire Bruce Wayne
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56. and his youthful
ward Dick Grayson.
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57. I'll solicit his presence, sir.
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58. But it's so much harder with
the pieces upside down, Bruce.
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59. Of course.
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60. But think of what
excellent training
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61. it is for your
visual memory.
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62. Gosh, yes,
I guess that's true.
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63. - Excuse me, sir.
- Yes.
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64. It's the Bat-phone.
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65. Oh, boy, let's go!
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66. Well, where are
they off to now?
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67. Eh?
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68. I just brought
them a little snack.
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69. A call I believe, madam
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70. from Mr. Wayne's
sporting goods supply.
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71. A superior new design of, uh,
binoculars has just arrived.
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72. For their bird-watching.
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73. - Yes, commissioner.
- 'Dire news, Batman.'
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74. - 'It's The Joker again.'
- We'll be right there.
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75. To the Bat-poles.
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76. Atomic batteries to power.
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77. - Turbines to speed.
- Roger. Ready to move out.
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78. It arrived while you were
on the way here, Batman.
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79. Timed perfectly.
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80. Then we'll proceed
with extreme care.
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81. Robin.
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82. Chief, commissioner,
stand back, please.
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83. - Holy jack in the box!
- Saints alive.
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84. Strange, but..
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85. harmless.
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86. A small recording machine
with a tape on it.
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87. (Robin)
'Play it, Batman.'
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88. (Joker on recorder)
'Good evening, commissioner.'
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89. 'I assume Batman
is there by now'
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90. 'so give him my regards,
will you? Ha ha ha.'
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91. 'Oh, by the way, did you
hear what the maid said'
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92. 'when the duchess asked
if she'd given the goldfish'
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93. 'fresh water that morning?'
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94. 'No, Your Highness. He hasn't
yet used what he had yesterday.'
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95. Not a very funny
joke I'd say.
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96. The Joker's never
are... in the end.
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97. Do you suppose any of
this could mean anything?
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98. Possibly. But not
what it seems to mean.
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99. That's the key to
The Joker's twisted mind.
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100. But why? It-it's not like
The Joker to help us catch him.
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101. It could be a trap.
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102. Why would he want a hole
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103. from a golf course?
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104. The golf course!
Of course!
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105. "His Highness,
the Maharajah of Nimpah
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106. "arrived in Gotham City
today and he's so rich
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107. he plays golf with jewel
inlaid solid gold clubs."
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108. That's it, Batman!
The Joke on the tape!
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109. His Highness
and the golden goldfish.
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110. And he's scheduled
to play in one hour
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111. at the Winnie Coto
Country Club.
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112. - Where he stole the hole.
- Let's go.
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113. Be careful, Batman. Be careful.
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114. While at the exclusive
Winnie Coto Country Club
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115. a sinister figure
looms above the fairway.
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116. It's Batman.
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117. Crime is certainly
rampant these days.
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118. Batman!
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119. - Batman I presume.
- Correct.
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120. I'm Prescott Belmont,
president of the club here.
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121. Got your message. I'll be
glad to assist you in any way.
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122. Good. There could be
more foul play here today.
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123. Has the Maharajah of Nimpah
begun his round?
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124. Not five minutes ago
with His Honor the Mayor.
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125. They're still
on the first hole.
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126. Is there some vantage point
overlooking the course?
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127. Any place where we
won't be conspicuous.
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128. The lower terrace.
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129. Let's go.
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130. (Batman)
'Odd.'
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131. Everything looks serene.
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132. Let me look.
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133. Holy Taj Mahal!
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134. Look at those
jewel-studded golf clubs!
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135. Yes.
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136. That would be a rich
prize for The Joker.
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137. Very fine chip shot,
Your Highness.
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138. What's so fine?
It should've been closer.
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139. Yes, but the grass grows
the wrong way, Your Highness.
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140. Ah, if this were only
Nimpahnese blue grass.
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141. Out of my way,
Your Highness.
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142. Mr. Mayor, please don't
putt while I'm talking.
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143. Well, forgive me, Your Highness.
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144. Alright, go ahead.
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145. Batman! Something is happening!
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146. Looks like yellow gas.
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147. It is gas.
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148. Quick, to the Batmobile.
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149. Sorry to be so abrupt.
This could be an emergency.
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150. Wait!
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151. It's not just the clubs,
they're stealing the maharajah.
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152. Good heavens!
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153. With a forklift.
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154. Let's get going and make
an emergency Bat-turn.
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155. Not this time, old chum.
Gotta think of the golfers.
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156. The retro-rockets would burn up
the course for a hundred yards.
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157. Holy tee shot!
It's gone!
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158. But where?
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159. Holy shrinkage!
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160. A trick of some sort,
no doubt.
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161. There's something inside.
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162. We'll see.
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163. It's a note.
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164. "Batman, did you
hear about the kid
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165. "who wanted to sell
his dog for $50,000?
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166. "He got his price.
Traded it for two $25,000 cats.
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167. "But you can't make a deal
like that for the maharajah
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168. "because we've got
plenty of cats already.
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169. Don't call us,
we'll call you."
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170. - "Plenty of cats?"
- Cats, cats and more cats!
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171. It could be an old refinery
Katz, Katz, Katz & Company.
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172. It's been outta use for years,
but it'd make a perfect hideout!
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173. It sounds too simple.
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174. Almost as if he wanted us
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175. to solve it immediately.
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176. - Gotta be on our guard, Batman.
- Right. Let's go!
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177. How right they are, for inside
the seemingly innocent
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178. old refinery The Joker and his
crew prepare for company.
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179. Oh, my playful, pilfering pals
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180. this is going to be delicious.
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181. Bring the table in
here quickly. Quickly.
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182. Put it right in the center. Now
get the chairs. Get the chairs.
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183. One, one here, one over here,
one there, one there, one there.
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184. Quickly. Everything
must be just right.
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185. Now, how does that
look, my pretty?
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186. - Oh, perfect, Joker.
- Ha ha ha.
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187. Do you really
think he'll come?
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188. Ah, he'll be here, never fear.
You mark my words.
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189. Joker, why didn't you get me
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190. something longer than this
when you had the chance?
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191. Oh, that's not
my style, lovey.
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192. Any common
hoodlum can do that.
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193. Oh ho, but never fear, my dear.
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194. We'll buy you countless
furs... and jewels.
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195. Oh, gee, Joker,
you're perfect.
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196. - Yeah, practically.
- 'Joker! Joker!'
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197. He just parked
his car up the street!
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198. Excellent! Everybody,
take your places.
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199. And you stand out
of harm's way, my dear.
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200. There. Deal them out.
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201. What will we do, Batman?
Use the Bat-ropes?
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202. Go in through
the skylight?
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203. Let's try
the direct approach.
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204. With his twisted mind,
it could surprise him.
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205. Strange. It's not locked.
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206. Holy spiderwebs.
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207. A nest for rats.
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208. - Now.
- We got you this time, Joker!
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209. Want to join the game,
Batman and Boy Wonder?
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210. You'd better hurry.
It won't last long.
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211. (Robin)
Holy looking glass!
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212. A truck with folding
mirrors on its sides.
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213. No wonder it vanished.
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214. Yes, with nothing
but the green of the golf course
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215. to reflect, it turned green too
and seemed to disappear.
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216. But we're on to
your tricks, Joker.
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217. You might as well..
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218. (Robin)
Holy..
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219. It's like being caught
in a barrel of snakes!
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220. Well, well, now I must say,
this is an expected pleasure.
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221. You may have won
the first round, Joker
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222. but we don't give up.
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223. Hmm, I've heard about Batman
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224. but this is the first
time I've ever met him.
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225. And the last.
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226. So that's
your dirty game.
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227. We might have known.
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228. Why didn't we
think about this?
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229. - Think about it?
- Yeah.
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230. What's this? Have you
gone soft, my little savage?
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231. Well, I, uh,
I-I bet he wouldn't
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232. try to knock you off
if he had the chance.
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233. Oh, no, he'd merely
try to incarcerate me
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234. in durance vile
for the rest of my life.
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235. A fate much worse than death
for a spirit such as mine.
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236. Still... we might give
them a sporting chance.
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237. - Yeah.
- Oh, no, boss.
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238. We won't get another
chance like this.
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239. That's right.
We've gotta get rid of him.
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240. We owe it to
the criminal world.
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241. Well, we'll see. Bring them
along. Come, come, come.
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242. And now, my Dynamic Duo
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243. something I've been waiting
to do for a long time.
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244. There, my funny ray
has neutralized
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245. the gadgets in your utility
belts for at least an hour.
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246. You're both good
swimmers I hope.
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247. Fair.
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248. Then you can easily remain
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249. afloat for an hour I presume?
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250. If we weren't weighted
down or something.
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251. Boss, you let these guys escape
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252. it'll be the mistake
of your career.
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253. - 'Yeah.'
- 'You keep outta this.'
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254. If he wants to
give them a chance
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255. that's his business.
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256. Oh, well,
perhaps they won't make it.
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257. Gentlemen, step
that way, please.
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258. This is delicious.
Absolutely delicious.
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259. Enough, enough, enough.
Out of my way.
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260. I'll give you a few minutes
to get out of these
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261. before I start
filling that.
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262. And if you remain afloat for
an hour, you go absolutely free.
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263. Now what more
could you ask?
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264. I still suspect some trick.
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265. Now, now,
let's not be bitter.
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266. I think we should give him the
benefit of the doubt, Robin..
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267. until he
proves otherwise.
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268. - 'It's only fair.'
- 'I suppose you're right.'
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269. Of course, he's right.
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270. Uh, gentlemen, be my guests..
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271. Would you?
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272. Come, my darling.
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273. - Holy smokestack.
- 'What a spot to get out of?'
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274. (Joker on speaker)
'Right, Batman.'
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275. 'There are only two ways
to get outta there.'
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276. 'One, I let you out'
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277. 'and two, you jump
50 feet straight up.'
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278. You still intend to free us if
we can stay afloat for an hour?
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279. Oh, dear me.
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280. Surely you don't
think I'd joke about
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281. such a serious matter
as that, do you?
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282. No.
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283. Oh, time to start
filling the tank.
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284. (Batman)
'But that's gas.'
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285. (Joker on speaker)
'I do believe you're right.'
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286. (Joker)
'But then who said
anything about water?'
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287. - But you can't float in gas!
- No.
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288. But you can drown in it.
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289. Oh, Joker,
that's a dirty trick.
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290. Oh, forget it, Jill.
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291. You didn't really think I was
gonna pass up a chance like this
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292. did you, my peerless pair?
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293. (Joker on speaker)
'Play traitor to all my
principles and friends?'
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294. 'Oh ho ho, no.'
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295. Ah, but one last word of advice
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296. don't stir it up.
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297. Too narrow in here
to use the Bat-rope.
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298. There's nothing
for them to catch on.
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299. And he's neutralized the rest of
the stuff in the utility belt.
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300. What are we going to do?
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301. Unless there's someone
to help us..
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302. I don't know.
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303. But help from where?
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304. Not The Joker, certainly!
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305. And no one else
knows where they are.
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306. Is this The Joker's
crowning jest?
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307. Find out tomorrow night
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308. same time, same channel.
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309. But be prepared,
no help is likely to come.
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