Batman 1x23

Directed by James B. Clark

Joe E. Tata as Tallow • Frank Gorshin as The Riddler • Elizabeth Harrower as Miss Prentice • Linda Gaye Scott as Moth • Ann Ayars as Madame Soleil

The Riddler's latest scheme involves stealing a wax figure to melt down for its wax that is powerfully corrosive when exposed to direct flame.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Another exciting event in Gotham City.

2. An unveiling at Madame Soleil's Wax Museum.

3. A tribute to the city's most illustrious crime fighter.

4. Thank you, Monsieur Mayor.

5. Monsieur the governor, the mayor...

6. and most honored dignitaries of Gotham City.

7. I know you are anxious to see what I, the famous Madame Soleil...

8. have imported for you all the way from Paris, France.

9. Mes amis, I unveil this wax figure of Batman.

10. What is this ghastly travesty?

11. Why, that's not Batman. That's the Riddler.

12. Surprise, surprise. Ha-ha-ha!

13. What is black and white and red all over?

14. Illustrious friends, if that little riddle is too hard for you...

15. why, here's another.

16. What has branches and leaves and no bark?

17. What did you say, Madame Soleil?

18. The figure of Batman stolen?

19. It's the work of the Riddler.

20. Don't touch a thing. We'll take care of it.

21. Well, you heard, chief. The Riddler's at it again.

22. Only two weeks out of jail and he's up to his old tricks.

23. I knew it was too good to last.

24. There's only one thing to do.

25. We may never know the identity of the man behind the mask...

26. but he is the only one who can cope with the Riddler.

27. And in Wayne Manor, stately residence of millionaire Bruce Wayne...

28. and his youthful ward Dick Grayson.

29. He's just come in, sir. I'll get him for you.

30. I thought Lima was the capital of Ecuador.

31. Now, as you can see, I was right. It's the capital of Peru.

32. Oh, I just love this game of capitals. It's so educational.

33. Not only that. If we don't know all about our friends to the south...

34. how can we carry on our good-neighbor policy?

35. - Ahem. - Yes, Alfred.

36. It's the Batphone, sir.

37. Oh, Aunt Harriet, I forgot to tell you.

38. Dick and I are having dinner with an old college chum of mine.

39. He's promised to show Dick how to tie flies. He's an expert fisherman.

40. Let's hurry, Dick, or we're gonna be late.

41. Oh, those two. Hither, thither and yon.

42. - Yes, commissioner. - The Riddler, he struck again.

43. We're on our way.

44. To the Bat-poles.

45. What is black and white and red all over?

46. He must be kidding. That's too easy.

47. We figured that one out ourselves, Boy Wonder. It's a newspaper.

48. You know only too well how the Riddler likes to taunt us with these disguised clues...

49. clues that always reveal whatever plot he's hatching.

50. This pause here is where the tricky paint gun went off.

51. - Illustrious friends... - Shh.

52. - Here comes the second riddle. - Ha-ha-ha!

53. If that little riddle is too hard for you, why, here's another.

54. What has branches and leaves and no bark? Hmm?

55. That's it all there is.

56. There's always some definite connection...

57. between the answers to his riddles and his nefarious plans.

58. What has leaves and branches but no bark?

59. Hey, a book has leaves.

60. - But a book has no branches. - Yes, but a library does.

61. Then the answer to the first riddle could've been "book" instead of "newspaper."

62. You've done it again, chum.

63. The answer is library, but what library?

64. If I know the Riddler, it'll be the biggest library, the Gotham City Library.

65. But what would he want at the public library?

66. We'll never find out standing here. Let's go, Robin.

67. Meanwhile, in a secret hideaway beneath this innocent-looking candle factory.

68. Oh, if only this were the real Batman. Oh!

69. 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

70. That his too, too solid flesh...

71. would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew.

72. Oh, Riddler, honey, that's beautiful.

73. I wrote it myself.

74. Little do they suspect the real reason why I stole the wax figure of Batman.

75. I knew. I knew those dull customs inspectors would never think of looking...

76. for this revolutionary new ring of wax universal solvent...

77. in the mannequin of their precious champion.

78. Big deal. Wax is wax. What's so special about this stuff?

79. Oh, you don't know, my pretty little Moth, what a universal solvent is.

80. It can eat through anything.

81. This remarkable wax can be found only in the hives of the Cognac district of France.

82. No wonder the United States government has banned its importation.

83. It might fall into the wrong hands.

84. Why, with this illegally imported substance...

85. there is no vault I cannot enter.

86. Aah!

87. Hear me, world!

88. Nothing can stop me now! Ha-ha-ha!

89. - Ain't he ever gonna move? - Yeah, we gotta get in the vault.

90. Remember, it is better to light one little candle...

91. than to curse the darkness.

92. Quickly, Moth, Batman's had time to solve my clue.

93. - Go downstairs and keep a sharp lookout. - Okay.

94. Won't be long now.

95. That rare old book, The Lost Treasures of the Incas...

96. will soon be in my hands.

97. Ain't somebody bound to hear us when we break into the vault?

98. Don't talk stupid.

99. Why do you think I went to so much trouble...

100. to smuggle in this universal wax solvent?

101. Genius.

102. So far so good.

103. Ahh. Go on. Ha-ha-ha.

104. Now, remember, no writing in the margins.

105. Heavens to Betsy. It can't be, but it is.

106. The dynamic duo.

107. Can I be of any help to you at all?

108. Have you seen any Unusual-looking people around here?

109. Unusual? In what way unusual?

110. Their garb. For instance, a man wearing a bright green suit with big black question marks on it.

111. Let me think a moment.

112. No, I can't say that I have, offhand.

113. But then I see so many people in the course of the day.

114. We have reason to believe that a serious crime will be committed here.

115. - We sure have. - Oh, dear.

116. Where is the vault in which you store your most precious books?

117. It's upstairs. Follow me.

118. Boss, this is Moth. They're on their way up.

119. I'll be ready for them.

120. Hey, here it is, boss.

121. Oh?

122. Oh, heh.

123. At last I found it.

124. This will lead me right to the lost treasure of the Incas.

125. Every greedy bone in my body cries out...

126. huzzah, huzzah!

127. My stars. Look at that hole and the lock's gone.

128. Careful, Robin, this looks like a robbery. Wait there, Ms. Prentice.

129. As you can see, Batman...

130. by the deadly weapons we hold, you'd be fools to move.

131. - What are you doing here? - Checking out a book.

132. - "Checking out a book"? - Exactly, Boy Wonder.

133. Lost Treasure of the Incas.

134. What would he want with a book like that?

135. Who can explain the devious mind of an arch criminal?

136. - You'll never get away with this, Riddler. - Would you like to make a little wager?

137. I never gamble.

138. Holy mucilage.

139. I can't move my feet. I'm stuck to the floor.

140. Yes, it's my own concoction.

141. I call it "Dr. Riddler's Instant Forever Stick Invisible Wax Emulsion."

142. Boss, you hit the alarm.

143. An unfortunate error on my part, but lucky for you, Batman.

144. Let's get out of here, boss.

145. Since you'll be sticking around for a little while, I'll leave you a riddle to work on.

146. The more you take away, the larger it grows.

147. What is it? Ha-ha-ha!

148. They've gone.

149. We must get out of this. I'll try the laser gun.

150. What devilish sticky stuff.

151. If only the Riddler's inventive mind could be channeled for good...

152. what a better world this would be.

153. It's working, Robin. The wax is beginning to melt.

154. Are you all right in there?

155. Yes. It's safe to come in now, Ms. Prentice.

156. - Oh, saints above, how did that hole get there? - That's it.

157. - What is it? - The answer to that riddle. Don't you see?

158. The more you take away from a hole, the larger it grows.

159. - You're right. What can that mean? Unless... - Yes?

160. There's a strange, waxy substance here.

161. Could this be his clue?

162. But how is this done? I heard no explosion.

163. We must take this back to the Batcave at once and analyze it.

164. Unless I miss my guess, I'm holding the answer in my hand.

165. We've no time to waste.

166. Let's get this sample of wax to the hyper-spectrographic analyzer.

167. This should tell us what makes up this waxy substance.

168. Aha!

169. It's just as I thought. Nitrogen is one of the component elements.

170. That orange color, doesn't that mean uranium?

171. - Right on the nose. You're catching on fast. - No kidding? Gee.

172. - But what about that blue line? - That one's easy. It's sodium.

173. Of course, this is a universal wax solvent.

174. So that's how they got into that vault.

175. If the Riddler left this as a clue, I don't get it. Do you?

176. Well, there's something here that escapes me.

177. Nitrogen, Uranium, Sodium, what could it possibly mean?

178. If you take the first three letters of those elements it spells N-U-S...

179. - but that doesn't mean anything. - Reverse the order and what do you have?

180. - S-U-N. - Of course, that's got to be it.

181. But what's it supposed to mean?

182. I'm surprised at you. You're supposed to be studying French.

183. - What's the French word for Sun? - Soleil.

184. Correct.

185. The Riddler has left us a clear indication of where he intends to strike next.

186. Back at Madame Soleil's Wax Museum.

187. What are we waiting for?

188. Madame Soleil? Madame Soleil?

189. It's Batman and Robin.

190. Are you here?

191. Such vandalism.

192. What a disastrous unveiling this must have been.

193. Boy, wax museums are sure spooky.

194. You think the Riddler is here somewhere?

195. For heaven's sake, caped crusaders, watch out.

196. Good shot, boss.

197. Music hath the charm to sooth the savage beast.

198. You sure soothed them boss.

199. You soothed them right to sleep with that thing.

200. - They look dead to me. - Just drugged, my pet.

201. Why kill them fast...

202. when watching them die slowly is so much more entertaining.

203. Ah.

204. Beauty, after all is in the eye of the beholder.

205. Ah.

206. Well, what do you know?

207. A dividend I hadn't considered.

208. What a haul this day has yielded.

209. First, the rare old book on the lost treasure of the Incas...

210. then the invincible Batman and Robin...

211. and now...

212. the famous Batmobile for my very own.

213. Remember, this thing's loaded with burglar alarms.

214. Don't you think I know that?

215. Ha-ha-ha. A little snip here.

216. A little snip there.

217. Now, it's safe to drive.

218. You're gonna drive the Batmobile?

219. "Finders keepers, losers weepers," I always say.

220. What do we do now?

221. You take Batman and Robin out to the candle factory and I'll meet you there.

222. We'd better get our everyday clothes back on.

223. We look too suspicious this way.

224. Just as soon as we get these two prize packages inside.

225. Hey, look. Look, he's coming to.

226. Aw, he looks so handsome beneath that mask.

227. A diamondback rattlesnake is a handsome creature too...

228. but dangerous and deadly.

229. Remember, Moth, Batman is our sworn enemy.

230. We can ill afford such emotions as pity.

231. Where am I?

232. Ah, you could say you're in the proverbial pickle, Batman.

233. Take them in.

234. Robin, do you hear me?

235. Batman, what happened to us?

236. It seems you have been overpowered again.

237. But how?

238. The last thing I remember, we were in the wax museum.

239. We just passed the Revolutionary War scene.

240. You're getting warm.

241. So that's how it was done.

242. - How what was done? - Oh, it's so clear now.

243. We were victimized by a repeating blowgun.

244. Holy iodine. So that's why the back of my neck smarts.

245. The wax is hot enough now, boss.

246. If they want a lifelike figure of their precious Batman for the wax museum...

247. we'll give it to them.

248. We'll even throw in a dividend.

249. Robin.

250. You fiend!

251. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

252. Matches, start the motor, slowly.

253. Very slowly.

254. Oh, I want to savor...

255. each sweet, delicious moment of this.

256. Gotcha, boss.

257. Riddler, tell me why you removed my wax figure from Madame Soleil's?

258. How else could I smuggle in that revolutionary new ring of wax solvent?

259. But why go to all that trouble? Wouldn't TNT have been much simpler?

260. Have you ever been in a quiet library when TNT went off?

261. It makes a frightening noise.

262. Why did you steal that rare old book on the lost treasure of the Incas?

263. What possible meaning could a scholarly book like that have for you?

264. For two people about to become human candles...

265. you have a lot of questions.

266. I'm always interested in the way the criminal mind works.

267. Well, then, I'll tell you.

268. Within that rare old book, I found an ancient Incan riddle...

269. which will lead me right to the fabled lost treasure of the Incas.

270. You must be mad.

271. The lost treasures of the Incas is only a legend.

272. Ah, but that's where you're mistaken, Batman.

273. The treasure is real, very real...

274. but unfortunately, you won't be around to see it.