1. (male narrator)
A beautiful Wednesday
afternoon in Gotham city.
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2. Matinee day at this theatre.
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3. In a moment, the play goers
will be coming out
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4. for a refreshing orange drink.
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5. But watch closely.
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6. There may be a drama
that's not on the program.
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7. So, what's superior to this sort
of thing, one usually sees?
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8. Oh, yes, infinitely.
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9. And the leading man,
my dear, Mrs. Van Climber.
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10. His tremendous power.
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11. Absolutely inspired,
my dear Penguin.
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12. It's a penetrating documentary
in our time.
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13. It's a mirror
of a cliched minds
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14. of our sadly weakened
moral fiber.
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15. Wouldn't you say so?
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16. Oh!
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17. Hands up everybody
and you won't get hurt.
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18. I ain't kidding.
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19. Do as he says, Penguin.
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20. He's a desperate man.
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21. Ah.
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22. You.
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23. 'Unhook that ruby pendant.'
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24. Throw it here.
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25. - Outrageous monster.
- Shh. He'll hear you.
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26. Back away everybody! Back away!
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27. You, knave thief, surrender!
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28. Wise guy, huh?
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29. Take this.
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30. Jumpin' jeepers!
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31. A bulletproof umbrella!
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32. Ah!
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33. Ms. Starr.
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34. - Uh.
- May I?
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35. Thank you.
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36. Yeah.
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37. Oh! How can I ever,
ever thank you?
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38. Yeah.
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39. Oh! What?
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40. The Penguin prevented a crime?
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41. That waddling
pompous master of foul play?
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42. It's true, commissioner.
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43. And who do you think,
the necklace belongs to?
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44. Ms. Sophia Starr.
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45. Sophia Starr?
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46. Beauteous queen
of Gotham City society?
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47. That's her. They left the
theatre hand in hand.
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48. Ominous, most ominous.
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49. What do you think it means,
commissioner?
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50. Since it involves The Penguin,
there is only one man
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51. who can answer that question.
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52. And answer it in time.
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53. The Caped Crusader.
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54. Alright, commissioner,
I'll fetch him for you.
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55. (male narrator)
And in Wayne Manor, where young
Dick Grayson
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56. practices his putting under the
watchful eye of his guardian
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57. millionaire Bruce Wayne and his
doting Aunt Harriet.
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58. Ow! Missed that one.
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59. Precision, Dick.
Precision.
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60. The key to... success
in life and as well in sports.
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61. And excuse me, sir, but there's
a telephone call for you.
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62. A certain Mr. Rime.
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63. - Rime?
- Yes, sir.
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64. Mr. K Rime,
if you understand me.
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65. Of course.
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66. Mr. K Rime with the red hot line
of investments
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67. for the Wayne foundation.
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68. Precisely, sir.
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69. Dick, it's about time you
started learning something
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70. 'about the elements
of investment.'
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71. We may be a while,
Aunt Harriet.
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72. Mr. K Rime might want us to
visit him at the stock exchange.
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73. So long, Aunt Harriet,
See you later.
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74. Mercy me.
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75. What an unfortunate name for an
investment councilor.
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76. K Rime.
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77. Sounds like crime!
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78. Isn't that funny, Alfred?
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79. I'd be very careful
about him if I were Bruce.
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80. Indeed, madam.
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81. Yes, commissioner.
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82. A strange and troubling
turn of events, Batman.
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83. You have a competitor
in crime fighting.
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84. The Penguin!
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85. We're on our way.
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86. The Penguin.
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87. Holy nick of time.
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88. Lucky for us we just finished
installing the bulletproof
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89. windshield in the Batmobile.
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90. Not so lucky for The Penguin.
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91. To the Bat-poles.
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92. Thanks, commissioner.
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93. We got the picture.
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94. I'll call you back
if Batman has any ideas.
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95. What do you think, Batman?
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96. Has The Penguin
really gone straight?
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97. It's a tough one.
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98. When that bird turn snow white
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99. it could be merely
a tricky white wash job.
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100. Right. But still, we've got
to think of his records
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101. since he last left prison.
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102. Clean as a whistle, it seems.
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103. Accepted in the best circles.
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104. Not even a ticket
for jaywalking.
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105. Could it be that,
he is reformed?
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106. Or only pretending to reform.
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107. Stalking his next victim under
the false colors
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108. of a crime fighter.
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109. How the heck do we find out?
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110. - I have an idea.
- What, Batman?
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111. Say that caper at the theatre
was a Penguin's employee.
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112. And that crook he caught must've
been an accomplice, right?
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113. On the nose.
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114. Call the commissioner.
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115. Have him give that crook
a grilling.
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116. We'll be there
in time for the kill.
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117. Alright, I'll ask
you one more time.
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118. How long have you
known The Penguin?
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119. - Who?
- Quit lying, you cheap hoodlum.
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120. He paid you
to pull that job.
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121. Told you to keep
your mouth shut.
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122. Promised to cut you
on the big job later.
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123. You guys must read too many
comic books or something.
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124. Hold it, Chief O'Hara,
no rough stuff.
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125. It's our duty to
abide by the rules.
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126. Now, this lying is useless.
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127. Besides.
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128. We have evidence.
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129. - Evidence?
- The bulletproof umbrella.
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130. Why would The Penguin have
carried a bulletproof umbrella
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131. to a matinee unless he expected
a machine gun attack.
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132. Who knows? Ask him.
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133. A hard baked cookie, this one.
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134. Covered with armor plate icing
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135. Let's give him a turn, shall we?
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136. 'Hey.'
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137. 'What's the matter, sonny?
Scared of the dark?'
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138. Ah!
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139. Help, there's bats
loose in here.
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140. Holy knock-out drops.
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141. The miserable weakling,
faded, dead away.
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142. Looks like, you over-did it,
Batman.
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143. Only one thing to do now.
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144. Find Penguin himself.
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145. Put the blocks to him.
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146. - Excuse me, sir.
- Yes, lieutenant.
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147. We have a report from the tail
we put on The Penguin.
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148. He just entered the Gotham City
Millionaire's club.
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149. Holy Jackpot.
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150. That bird of prey,
loose among the golden geese.
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151. There's only one
way to find out.
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152. Call the parking lot.
Have 'em clear
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153. all the exits
for the Batmobile.
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154. Meanwhile, in the steam room
of the super exclusive
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155. Gotham Millionaire's club.
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156. A strange disquieting scene.
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157. Leave that man alone
you criminals.
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158. - Take him out of here.
- Look out. Watch out!
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159. - Quick.
- More steam.
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160. Roger.
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161. (male #1)
'That's got it.'
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162. A snatch in the fog, eh?
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163. Alas, you sad,
dim-witted ruffian!
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164. - The smoke screen.
- It's gone.
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165. Jesus.
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166. Oh, thank you, sir.
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167. They tried to kidnap me.
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168. It's alright, Reggie, my boy.
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169. You are safe now.
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170. You're with The Penguin.
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171. Put up your flippers, Penguin.
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172. We caught you with
your feathers down.
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173. Kidnapping.
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174. One false move
and you get the batarang.
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175. Hello, my esteemed colleagues
in crime fighting.
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176. The droll deceivers,
the dynamic duo.
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177. Batman, listen.
You've got it all wrong.
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178. The Penguin saved me
from being kidnapped.
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179. Saved you?
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180. I swear to you, old boy.
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181. Some villains were
trying to abduct me
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182. under the cover
of a steam screen.
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183. And heaven knows how he did it.
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184. This delightful bird-like chaps
suddenly dispelled the steam
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185. and the criminals
took to their heels.
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186. Elementary, my dear, Reggie.
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187. My ubiquitous umbrella
was fortunately loaded
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188. with colored dry ice.
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189. When I discharged the jet, the
vapor was instantly condensed.
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190. Something fishy here.
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191. There's sure is.
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192. He must have known about
the supposed kidnapping.
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193. Otherwise, why would he be
carrying an umbrella
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194. loaded with dry ice?
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195. The reason
is the season, Batman.
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196. What?
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197. This prematurely hot weather
annoys me.
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198. Being a Penguin is kind of
a bird, I hate hot weather.
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199. So what could be
more natural
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200. than I should carry an umbrella
loaded with dry ice?
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201. Oh, yeah.
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202. If you hate the heat so much,
what you doing in a steam room?
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203. I ask you, is that
an ethical question?
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204. Between crime fighters,
competitors, you might say.
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205. You pompous,
taunting creature!
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206. Well, I'm sorry I must fly.
I'm very busy.
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207. I have little rendezvous
with Sophia Starr.
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208. We have some arrangements
to make.
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209. - Arrangements?
- For her jewels.
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210. I'm taking over
their protection.
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211. I'm gonna give you my card.
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212. Adieu.
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213. Come on, my dear boy.
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214. Well, you saved my life, if
there's anything I can do..
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215. (Batman)
Penguin Protective
Agency Incorporated.
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216. Holy leopard!
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217. What a change of spots.
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218. The Penguin.
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219. In business
as a private eye.
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220. Hiring him
to guard jewels is like..
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221. trusting a lethal
lettuce to a rabbit.
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222. Let's race back
and give Ms. Starr a warning.
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223. Nuisance.
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224. She's smitten with him.
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225. She'd scoff at us.
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226. So what do we do?
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227. We can't protect her.
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228. We can save her jewels
at the same time set a trap.
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229. Great. How?
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230. We substitute fake jewels with
the real ones, Robin.
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231. Treat it in a reactor to leave
radioactive traces of the thief.
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232. Terrific!
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233. There's just one problem.
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234. 'To make copies.'
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235. I dunno what the
real ones look like.
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236. Correct.
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237. Has to look at them.
That would tip Penguin off.
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238. Pickup the Bat-phone
and call Alfred.
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239. Tell him to wait for
us in the Bat-cave.
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240. Alfred is going to be our
secret undercover agent.
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241. What?
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242. Reggie Rich gave you
a check for $10,000
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243. and you tore it up?
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244. Indeed. And right
in front of his very eye.
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245. You know somethin', this plan of
being a straight guy must have
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246. unhinged Penguin's mind.
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247. No, you, butt-brain.
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248. What's 10,000,
when I aim at millions?
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249. Confidence. That's is what I'm
stealing from these dupes.
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250. Confidence
and pride in The Penguin.
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251. And they'll end up
handing me their treasure
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252. on a silver plate.
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253. - Yeah, but I wonder..
- You wonder, what?
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254. Don't get mad at me Penguin
but..
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255. I wonder what Batman and Robin's
gonna say about that.
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256. Piddling pair will be punctured!
Now and forever.
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257. Then, no offence, Penguin,
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258. but we heard you
sing that song before.
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259. We always end up singing
the anvil chorus in the pen.
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260. Not this time, you see. I have
planted a seed in their mind.
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261. I've planted
the erroneous idea
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262. that I'm going to steal
the jewels of Sophia Starr.
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263. You mean, you ain't?
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264. No! I'm not.
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265. I delight in the devious,
I obviate the obvious.
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266. They're misreading
my intentions.
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267. They're going to lay
a trap for me.
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268. A trap which when it springs..
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269. Well, farewell,
my fine fostered fates.
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270. Your mind has tore.
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271. I'm going to see our shining
star, Sophia Starr.
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272. What an counter-plot.
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273. Here's Alfred, carrying out
a vital but risky chore.
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274. In the guise of a man from
Floyds Insurance Limited.
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275. Excellent!
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276. I think that just about does it,
Ms. Starr.
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277. You're sure, there's nothing
else you want?
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278. No, thank you.
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279. That would just
complete our records.
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280. Beg your pardon,
Pengy darling.
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281. What offends me
to the quick.
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282. An insurance company worrying
about the safety of your jewels
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283. while they are under my
guardianship.
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284. One can never be too secure,
can one, Mr. Penguin?
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285. With the world these days
so full of predators.
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286. Great Scott, Alfred. Have you
forgotten? Batman told you
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287. to switch cigarette holders
with The Penguin.
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288. You're meant to palm off the
trick one with a tiny super
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289. powered transmitter inside.
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290. Quick! Before it's too late.
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291. Create that diversion.
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292. Good day, Ms. Starr.
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293. (Alfred)
'Great heavens!'
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294. The anti-theft system
built into my carrying case
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295. it went off accidently.
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296. Don't panic.
I can fix that.
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297. (Penguin)
'There! Neutralized.'
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298. Buy my high powered
de-magnetizer coil.
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299. Oh, Pengy.
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300. (Sophia)
'You're fantastic.'
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301. (Penguin)
'No trouble at all.'
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302. (Sophia)
'Where there's no end to your
resourcefulness.'
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303. (Penguin)
'Thank you, my love, thank you.'
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304. - Oh, Pengy.
- Ha ha ha.
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305. Oh, look, the handle of your
umbrella.
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306. What?
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307. (Penguin)
'Sound! My secret radio
detector.'
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308. Somebody has planted
an electronic bug in this room.
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309. Huh?
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310. Eh.
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311. Ah.
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312. So, you switched
cigarette holders, did ya?
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313. Ah.
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314. I think not.
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315. Out with you, criminal.
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316. Who are you working for?
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317. It can happen to the best of us,
Mr. Penguin.
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318. One moment everything
is going smoothly.
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319. And the next, fate pulls
the rug out from under us.
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320. - Ah! Pengy
- Good day, miss.
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321. Oh, Pengy, dear.
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322. Pengy, my poor darling.
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323. Who cares about him?
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324. Are you alright?
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325. Vengeance!
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326. Failure, sir.
Utter failure.
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327. That's not true, Alfred.
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328. Of course not.
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329. Important thing was to get this
picture of Sophia's jewels.
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330. You got it.
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331. Sure you did.
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332. And we already made
a complete set of fake copies.
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333. Thanks to you, we may be able
to avert a gigantic robbery.
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334. Robin, grab those fake jewels.
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335. We must strike before
The Penguin does.
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336. Let's go.
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337. We're sure taking a chance,
Batman.
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338. What's the matter?
Souls of your boots slippery?
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339. Heck no!
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340. I mean when we put the fake
jewels in Ms. Starr's safe.
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341. Take the real one's out.
We could be nailed as crooks.
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342. That's the chance
we have to take.
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343. In our well ordered society
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344. protection of private
property is essential.
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345. Yes, you're right, Batman.
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346. That's the keystone
of all law and order.
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347. Let's go, chum.
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348. The safe should
be behind that picture.
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349. Coast seems clear.
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350. Turn off the electric
iron looping on it.
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351. Neutralize the alarm.
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352. I'll listen to the tumblers.
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353. Roger.
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354. Perfect. Tumblers are
falling into place.
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355. Caught you, you thieves.
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356. One move and you're a dead duo.
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357. Holy. Bat-trap!
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358. Let's fight our way outta this.
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359. Ah!
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360. Whoa!
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361. Ah.
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362. They getting out the window.
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363. Let 'em go,
they won't get far.
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364. Pengy dear, you alright?
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365. Sophia, my dear,
you call the police.
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366. I'll call
the Gotham City Times.
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367. Shocking! shocking!
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368. How can a responsible
press print such an item?
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369. But you can't blame
the papers, commissioner.
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370. Things sure look dark for
Batman when the lights went on.
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371. Yes, but still how could a sane
person think Batman a criminal?
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372. How ungrateful the public is!
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373. Yes, put him on.
It's Penguin.
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374. Good morning, commissioner.
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375. Have you snared that
costumed crooks yet?
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376. They're still at large, Penguin.
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377. Well, that's very lax
of you, commissioner.
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378. I do hope that they
won't burst in tonight
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379. and terrorize our party.
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380. Your party?
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381. Yes. Anyway, you're invited.
Might come, if you like it.
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382. Some of my
influential friends
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383. are giving a gala benefit
for the P.P.A..
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384. That's the
Penguin's Protective Agency.
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385. Yes. We have taken over
the Gotham amusement pier.
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386. Should be amusing.
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387. You... you abominable avian!
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388. - Yes, Commissioner.
- Gotham amusement pier tonight.
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389. - Penguin is tossing a party.
- Interesting.
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390. You better not be there, Batman.
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391. If you are spotted,
I'll have to arrest you.
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392. It's our only hope, Robin.
We'll have to catch Penguin
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393. in something crooked that he
won't be able to press that
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394. warrant for our arrest.
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395. - Have an awful thought, Batman.
- What?
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396. What if Penguin really
has gone straight?
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397. - Right!
- What do you think, Batman?
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398. He's with Sophia Starr
and she's wearing
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399. those priceless diamonds.
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400. Yeah, I have a strange feeling,
It's time for the kill.
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401. Gee, that cement-filled umbrella
sure cooled them off.
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402. Well done, my finks,
well done.
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403. What now, Penguin?
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404. String them up here back
of the shooting gallery
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405. directly behind the cut-outs.
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406. - Right.
- Now, one small detail.
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407. Our umbrella pop guns,
take out the pellets.
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408. Introduce real bullets.
Ha ha ha.
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409. You, eh, challenge us, Penguin?
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410. I certainly do.
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411. Knowing you gentlemen
to be of sporting blood
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412. I know that you'll play this
exquisite of the game with me.
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413. If you'll burst those two red
balloons on the first round.
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414. I'll donate 1000 dollars to
your police benevolent fund.
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415. (Commissioner)
'That's too easy, Penguin.
Much too easy'
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416. 'There must be a
catch towards somewhere.'
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417. 'No, catch whatsoever. If you
shoot those two red balloons'
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418. you will be doing
Gotham City a gigantic favor.
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419. Doing the city a big favor?
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420. What the devil? Why not?
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421. - Give us the guns, Penguin.
- Give them the umbrella gun.
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422. (male narrator)
Batman and Robin,
a swinging pair of dead ducks!
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423. What on earth can save them?
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424. Don't shoot, Commissioner!
Don't shoot!
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425. All set, gentlemen?
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426. We're set.
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427. Now, on my instructions.
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428. Ready?
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429. Aim.
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430. Good grief! Good night!
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431. Double funeral tomorrow.
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432. Same bat-time,
same bat-channel.
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433. Can you see any way out?
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