Batman 1x12

Directed by Tom Gries

Marvin Miller as TV Announcer • Frank Gorshin as The Riddler • Tris Coffin as Ambassador • Roy Jenson as Whitey • Susan Silo as Mousey

Batman manages to escape the Riddler's death trap. He and Robin decide to lay low until they can figure out the Riddler's caper. Meanwhile, the Riddler frees King Boris, who brings a gift to a major monument in Gotham City. It turns out the Riddler has substituted a bomb for King Boris's gift and he is demanding a ransom. The Riddler, though, overplays his hand, enabling Batman and Robin to capture the Riddler and his gang.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. So far, we have seen a royal visitor arriving in Gotham City.

2. A festive reception...

3. with greetings from the Riddler.

4. The Dynamic Duo to the rescue.

5. Solve the tricky riddle.

6. And then, a beauty queen...

7. robbed of her tiara.

8. Batman and Robin perplexed.

9. Champagne for everyone.

10. A vanishing king.

11. More riddles in his place.

12. The Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder on his trail.

13. Holy entanglement.

14. Trapped like flies.

15. Horrors strapped to the Riddler's whirling wheels.

16. Can the Dynamic Duo escape a spinning death?

17. Wait. The most fiendish...

18. is yet to come.

19. Robin, are you all right?

20. Robin.

21. Robin. Snap out of it, Robin.

22. Must've passed out.

23. Wow. That was like taking a hundred rides on a supersonic rollercoaster.

24. One more revolution of that wheel would have probably finished both of us.

25. What happened?

26. While they dragged us down here...

27. some of the web-like material tore away from my hand and waist.

28. I just barely managed to get the cutting torch out of my utility belt.

29. You burned the armature and short-circuited the power.

30. Golly, Batman, the utility belt saves us again.

31. Now, old friend...

32. it's time to get back on the Riddler's trail.

33. The following morning at the wallowing place of the evil River Rats...

34. deep bellow Gotham City.

35. Rise and shine!

36. Sorry, my dear Rats, to disturb your slumber, but I believe you are working for me.

37. Then sleep on your own time!

38. - Where's Mousey? - She ain't here yet, chief.

39. She'll be here soon. You know dames, they're never on time.

40. Well, time is of the essence. We have a tight schedule.

41. - Good morning. - Late morning is more like it.

42. - You know I detest tardiness. - I missed the bus. Big deal.

43. It'll be a big deal if you miss the caper.

44. We have a great many important details to work over.

45. Okay, I'm here. Relax.

46. Yeah, Riddler. This thing will be a cinch.

47. For once, we don't have to worry about Batman and Robin.

48. How true.

49. So many people have tried.

50. The Penguin, Mister Freeze, the Joker.

51. All masters of their craft, granted...

52. but I, only I have triumphed...

53. in ridding Gotham City's criminal kingdom of the Dynamic Duo.

54. And good riddance it is.

55. How frustrating it will be for my colleagues...

56. when they learn that I succeeded where they failed.

57. I'd like to see their faces when they hear about it.

58. They'll have no one to outwit anymore.

59. Regrettably, that's no longer our problem.

60. Tomorrow, we shall be miles and miles away in another country.

61. With all that beautiful green dough.

62. If everything goes according to plan, that is.

63. - And why shouldn't it? - What if they refuse to pay?

64. Well, I've left them no choice. My plan is foolproof, I promise you.

65. Yeah, I gotta along with the Riddler. He ain't steered us wrong yet.

66. Deeply touched.

67. Whiskers, any problems last night with my friend, the king?

68. - Took him back safe and sound. - Good, good.

69. Rats, I'm a man of few words...

70. but a man of many riddles, so riddle me this.

71. What is it that is always coming but never arrives?

72. Quickly. Quickly.

73. We ain't tuned in on the riddle bit, chief.

74. Yeah, we give up.

75. What is it that is always coming but never arrives?

76. Tomorrow.

77. - Tomorrow? - Tomorrow.

78. For when it arrives, it is today.

79. And today, my dear rodents, should prove to be most memorable.

80. And that's all you can tell us, Your Majesty?

81. It is exactly as I have explained.

82. A sinister humorist in mask and tights, some other scoundrels...

83. Batman and Robin being captured.

84. It all happened so suddenly, so swiftly.

85. Then I was returned to my hotel blindfolded.

86. - And you have no idea where you were at? - None whatsoever.

87. All right, Your Majesty. Thanks for your time.

88. I feel terrible about Batman and Robin...

89. but I'm due at the Queen of Freedom Monument...

90. - I could cancel. - Oh, no, Your Majesty.

91. If we need further information, we'll contact you.

92. Thank you, gentlemen.

93. They're alive.

94. Batman, are you all right?

95. Yes, commissioner, we had a nasty turn, but we came out of it all right.

96. Have you spoken with King Boris?

97. He's perfectly safe.

98. On his way for some festivities at the Queen of Freedom Monument.

99. And the Riddler?

100. He left us in the clutches of death.

101. Thank the stars that you managed to escape.

102. Commissioner, with the Riddler thinking we're out of the way...

103. he might get a bit careless.

104. I suggest that you don't tell anyone that we've contacted you.

105. O'Hara and I won't tell a soul.

106. Good. I'll be in touch.

107. "A riddle a day keeps the Riddler away." I won't forget you told me that.

108. Don't. Whatever his evil scheme is, he hasn't hatched it yet.

109. I wonder what his next move will be.

110. Let's get to the Batcave and be ready for it.

111. From the Queen of Freedom monument...

112. this station presents a special public affairs program.

113. Well, this should prove very interesting.

114. Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

115. Here we are at the Museum of Fame housed inside the Torch Room...

116. high atop the inspiring Queen of Freedom Monument.

117. In just a few minutes, King Boris will present the museum with a gift...

118. indicative of his country's appreciation.

119. A gold, bejeweled miniature replica of the Queen of Freedom.

120. And here comes the king.

121. And now, His Majesty, King Boris.

122. Good afternoon, Your Majesty.

123. It is my great pleasure and honor to welcome you...

124. on behalf of our fair city, our nation, and the television audience.

125. My friends...

126. it is a great honor for me...

127. to present Gotham City's Museum of Fame with this statue...

128. a symbol of courage and freedom to all the world.

129. God bless you.

130. Thank you, Your Majesty.

131. On behalf of Gotham City and our country...

132. permit me to express our gratitude...

133. and also the hope that you thoroughly enjoy the remainder of your visit here.

134. So there you have it, folks.

135. The replica will now go on permanent display here...

136. along with other famous memorabilia.

137. Some of which you might be able to see.

138. Over here, for instance...

139. we have the original Gotham City Commodity Exchange Building.

140. And, uh, back here...

141. I think you can see a bust of Gotham City's first mayor.

142. And, of course, how could our Museum of Fame exist...

143. without Batman and Robin?

144. I think they're cute.

145. Just because we're on opposite sides of the fence...

146. We were on opposite sides of the fence. They're dead, remember?

147. Shut that thing off.

148. Thanks, Kingy. You're the best partner in crime I ever had.

149. Later on a Gotham City street corner.

150. Good heavens.

151. What is it?

152. Look, listen.

153. "If Gotham City does not pay me $1 million in cash by 10:00 tonight...

154. the Queen of Freedom Monument will be blown sky high.

155. All security efforts cannot stop the destruction and only I can deactivate the bomb.

156. P.S., Batman and Robin are dead.

157. The Riddler."

158. That infernal devil.

159. Oh, so that was his plot:

160. To get rid of Batman and Robin...

161. and then pull off the biggest extortion caper in the history of Gotham City.

162. And he might just get away with it.

163. So that's the scheme, commissioner.

164. And obviously, the city must pay for it.

165. But it's almost 4:00 now, Batman.

166. Half the city council are out of town. They won't meet until tomorrow.

167. I couldn't get that kind of money if my life depended on it.

168. Hmm. That is a problem.

169. Can you get it from any private source?

170. I don't know of anyone that has that kind of money readily available.

171. Except...

172. Except who?

173. Well, except my good friend, Bruce Wayne, the millionaire socialite.

174. Then by all means, call him. You can't waste any time.

175. All right, I'll contact you later, Batman.

176. You understand, Bruce, this million dollars is just a loan?

177. I don't know what this is all about...

178. but if it's in the best interest of Gotham City, I'm certainly happy to do it.

179. Well, you may not get all the kudos that Batman does...

180. but believe me, Bruce, you are the unsung hero of this dark hour.

181. I just wanna do my duty as a proud citizen of this fair community.

182. Batman, what the devil?

183. It's Batman.

184. Sorry, commissioner...

185. I used the Batrope to get up here because I didn't wanna be noticed.

186. I'm sure the Riddler has notified you that Robin and I were dead.

187. - Yes. - Good. And I want him to keep thinking that.

188. But, Batman, we discussed...

189. I never had the pleasure of meeting Batman, commissioner.

190. Oh, I'm sorry. Batman, this is my good friend, Bruce Wayne.

191. Ah, the millionaire socialite.

192. I've always wanted to meet you, Mr. Wayne.

193. The feeling is mutual.

194. Uh, speaking of millionaires, did you get the money for the Riddler?

195. I've just made the arrangements.

196. - Am I free to speak? - I trust Bruce Wayne as I trust you, Batman.

197. Good. I have a plan. I suggest no cops.

198. Police, that is.

199. Nine o'clock, have your men place the money inside the museum...

200. in the Torch Room of the monument.

201. Then they must leave.

202. A million dollars is a lot of money, but the Riddler is smart and tricky.

203. If he suspects a trap, he'll pass up the cash and destroy the monument.

204. - Well, then how do we catch him? - You leave that to Robin and me.

205. He'll have to deactivate the bomb, wherever it is, before he leaves.

206. Then we'll jump into action.

207. Oh, I know nothing whatsoever about this sort of thing, commissioner...

208. but as a layman, it makes sense to me.

209. All right, then, that's the way it will be.

210. You're a smart man, Mr. Wayne.

211. We should get together sometime and discuss crime prevention.

212. With pleasure. I'll look forward to seeing you in the near future.

213. Batman.

214. Take it easy, you're not seeing a ghost. That's Whitey.

215. - How did it go? - Great.

216. - Gordon went for it like a duck to water. - Uh-huh?

217. And that millionaire socialite, Bruce Wayne, was there also.

218. Well, he fell so hard for the act that he helped sell the plan to Gordon.

219. Then the coast will be clear.

220. Clear as your gorgeous brown eyes, my little Mousey.

221. Oh, I've really outdone myself this time.

222. Oh, genius. Sheer genius.

223. - Robin. Robin, where are you? - Up here.

224. What are you doing up there?

225. It was making a funny rumbling noise.

226. I thought some part might be loose. Just checking it out.

227. Did you give Commissioner Gordon the money?

228. Yes, I also met Batman.

229. - Oh. You what? - Very interesting.

230. The Batphone.

231. Yes, commissioner?

232. By any remote possibility, were you in my office this afternoon, Batman?

233. No, why?

234. I didn't think so. But someone impersonating you was here.

235. I played along with the hoax because Bruce Wayne was present...

236. and I didn't wanna expose him to any danger.

237. You did exactly as you should've done.

238. Did he give you any instructions?

239. Fine. You do just what he says.

240. In the meantime, I'll map out a plan.

241. What was it?

242. As I was telling you, the Riddler had someone impersonate me today.

243. I knew he'd get careless if he thought we were out of the way.

244. But how do we stop him?

245. The clincher would be to solve this last riddle.

246. "Why is a woman in love like a welder?"

247. I'll bet that would tell us the location of the bomb, all right.

248. Well, stop fiddling with that atomic pile and come down here.

249. Two heads are better than one, old chum.

250. Okay, I can't fix it anyway, not without a torch.

251. Great Scott.

252. - A torch, that's it. - Huh?

253. "Why is a woman in love like a welder?"

254. Because they both carry a torch.

255. Holy conflagration.

256. The Torch Room at the Queen of Freedom.

257. But how could the Riddler place a bomb there?

258. He didn't. King Boris did.

259. What? King Boris?

260. I'll explain on the way.

261. Darkness falls over Gotham City.

262. But on a shadowy balcony in the Torch Room of the Queen of Freedom Monument...

263. How does it look?

264. Two policemen came earlier.

265. They placed a black bag down there, then left.

266. Good, good, perfect, perfect, that's the money. Wonderful, won...

267. My friends, plan 136 AAA is about to begin.

268. - Mousey, you stay here and be the lookout. - Good luck.

269. Onward.

270. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

271. Let's see the dough.

272. Not now, you dope. I have to deactivate the bomb first.

273. Or do you want to be blown to smithereens?

274. I'll just make...

275. The replica, it's gone.

276. "What squeals louder than a caught rat?"

277. "several caught rats."

278. I've been out-riddled.

279. But the dough...

280. They foiled me with my own trick.

281. That's the only way we could smoke you out.

282. Is this what you're looking for, Riddler?

283. Clever of you to place a time bomb inside it when you kidnapped King Boris.

284. Knowing he was going to present it here the following day.

285. Poor fellow was nothing but an innocent stooge.

286. - But you're dead, Batman. - Not quite.

287. We foiled your villainous death plot.

288. - The bomb, it'll go off any second. - Don't worry.

289. I deactivated it.

290. Now we're going to deactivate you.

291. There are four of us against the two of you, but we're not afraid.

292. I'll never understand why girls like you get involved in things like this.

293. Kicks, I guess.

294. Been looking for them ever since I dropped out of high school.

295. But I'm sort of glad they didn't do you in.

296. Thank you.

297. Time to go, Riddler, to jail.

298. There's just nothing like a good cup of tea.

299. Well, I'm off.

300. Where are you going, Aunt Harriet?

301. Oh, I have some out-of-town friends who are visiting Gotham City for the day.

302. I thought I'd take them to see the Queen of Freedom Monument.

303. Say, would you like to join us?

304. No, thanks, Aunt Harriet.

305. I have some Wayne Foundation business reports to go over.

306. - Perhaps Dick. - No. I've got my algebra.

307. Well, all right, but you're missing a treat.

308. - It's a very interesting place, you know. - I'm sure it is, Aunt Harriet.

309. Probably more interesting than you can imagine.

310. The algebra.

311. Aw.