1. Gotham City
International Airport.Copy !req
2. A pleasant day for
an important arrival.Copy !req
3. Royal Ambassador Service...Copy !req
4. Well, gentlemen, please,
a little room for the king.Copy !req
5. Welcome to Gotham City, Your Highness.
This has been a long-awaited pleasure.Copy !req
6. Thank you, my friends, but the
pleasure is entirely mine. Heh, heh.Copy !req
7. I've heard wonderful
things about your city.Copy !req
8. - How was your flight, Your Majesty?
- Bumpy.Copy !req
9. Oh, eh, except when we crossed into
American territory, then it was smooth.Copy !req
10. - I'd like to ask...
- The, uh, limousine's waiting.Copy !req
11. I'm sure you'd like to go
to the hotel and freshen up.Copy !req
12. Fine, fine.Copy !req
13. - Oh, may I take that for you?
- No, no, thank you, no.Copy !req
14. No offense, but it's too important. I shall
carry it with me until the presentation.Copy !req
15. Your Majesty, on behalf of
the welcoming committee...Copy !req
16. I'd like to present
you with these roses.Copy !req
17. Well, thank you, young
lady. Thank you very much.Copy !req
18. Shy little thing,
isn't she? Heh, heh.Copy !req
19. But these flowers
are certainly...Copy !req
20. Make anything out
of it, Chief O'Hara?Copy !req
21. There's no doubt about it.Copy !req
22. The Riddler, that infernal prince of puzzlers
as you call him, is up to his old tricks.Copy !req
23. And what would those tricks be, chief?
"When is a person like piece of wood?"Copy !req
24. - What does it mean?
- I wish I knew, commissioner. I wish I knew.Copy !req
25. Anyone else think they can
make any sense out of it?Copy !req
26. Well, there is one man
who might be able to.Copy !req
27. I have a fine
police force here...Copy !req
28. yet I have no alternative but to
call on their services once again.Copy !req
29. A long time ago I gave up trying to figure
out who he was. I owe him too much for that.Copy !req
30. We all owe him
a very great deal.Copy !req
31. And in Wayne Manor...Copy !req
32. stately and secure home
of millionaire Bruce Wayne...Copy !req
33. and his youthful
ward, Dick Grayson.Copy !req
34. I'll beckon him,
sir, immediately.Copy !req
35. I think that's mate, old chum.Copy !req
36. - Gosh, Bruce, why can't I ever beat you?
- You have on several occasions.Copy !req
37. Only when your mind is
on important matters or...Copy !req
38. Ahem. Excuse me for interrupting,
sir, but it's the Batphone.Copy !req
39. Oh, boy.Copy !req
40. - Sorry, Aunt Harriet, didn't mean to scare you.
- Mercy alive.Copy !req
41. If didn't know you two better, I'd
think you were up to something.Copy !req
42. Oh, what do you
mean, Aunt Harriet?Copy !req
43. Well, it's just that,
every once in a while...Copy !req
44. you come zooming out of
this room like jet planes...Copy !req
45. practically knocking me over and then,
rushing out with hardly any explanation.Copy !req
46. That is no mystery,
Aunt Harriet.Copy !req
47. Dick and I just played a game of
chess and we agreed that, if I won...Copy !req
48. he'd do some studying. If he
won, we'd go fishing. Bye, dear.Copy !req
49. - Yes, commissioner.
- Batman, I'm having trouble...Copy !req
50. - with a riddle.
- Him again.Copy !req
51. We'll be right over.
To the Batpoles.Copy !req
52. - It's the Riddler's modus operandi, all right.
- I agree.Copy !req
53. Nobody else would use such a spectacular
and bizarre method to flaunt a puzzle.Copy !req
54. What the devil is the
culprit trying to tell us?Copy !req
55. The riddle itself is pretty basic. A person
is a piece of wood when he's a ruler.Copy !req
56. You figure it has something
to do with King Boris?Copy !req
57. - Maybe.
- Good thinking, Robin...Copy !req
58. but no attempt was made
to abduct or to harm him.Copy !req
59. Wood, ruler, king.Copy !req
60. A chess king, the international
chess tournament tonight...Copy !req
61. $25,000 in prize money.Copy !req
62. - Boy Wonder, you've done it again.
- I think this thing is much bigger than that.Copy !req
63. The Riddler goes after millions, not thousands.
He loves to dazzle us with his fancy footwork.Copy !req
64. In any case, chief, assign an extra
squad of men to cover the place.Copy !req
65. What is King Boris's itinerary?Copy !req
66. Well, he's here
on a goodwill visit.Copy !req
67. Among other things, he should be an honorary
judge at the Miss Galaxy finals tomorrow.Copy !req
68. And the following day will appear
at the Queen of Freedom Monument.Copy !req
69. I saw that in the papers.Copy !req
70. He's going to present
a museum of fame...Copy !req
71. with a doll-sized replica
of the Queen of Freedom.Copy !req
72. A queen? A queen
can be a ruler. That's it.Copy !req
73. What queen? There is no
queen. The king ain't married.Copy !req
74. There will be tomorrow,
a new queen of beauty.Copy !req
75. They're going to crown her with a
priceless diamond and emerald tiara.Copy !req
76. Exactly, Robin. And it's my guess that
our puzzling friend will try to steal it.Copy !req
77. Now we're getting somewhere, I'll
have that place blocked so tight...Copy !req
78. On the contrary.Copy !req
79. I think we should let
the Riddler steal the tiara.Copy !req
80. Ladies and gentlemen, before
I announce this year's winner...Copy !req
81. I should like to introduce
you to last year's Miss Galaxy.Copy !req
82. She is Jacky Sands.Copy !req
83. This is it, the moment you
have all been waiting for...Copy !req
84. the moment one of these girls has
been waiting for, our moment of truth.Copy !req
85. Knowing that arch-villain, the Riddler, I'm
almost positive he'll show up for this event.Copy !req
86. We'll soon find out. Miss Galaxy
will be crowned any moment.Copy !req
87. The new Miss Galaxy,
queen of beauty...Copy !req
88. is Southern City's own
sparkling-eyed beauty...Copy !req
89. Julia Davis.Copy !req
90. - Congratulations, Julia.
- Thank you.Copy !req
91. Miss Galaxy, it is with great pleasure
that I crown you queen of beauty...Copy !req
92. with this magnificent
diamond and emerald tiara.Copy !req
93. Oh!Copy !req
94. - Isn't she beautiful?
- Thank you.Copy !req
95. Miss Galaxy. Let's hear it
for her, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
96. He's in for quite surprise when he discovers
I substituted a paste tiara for the real one.Copy !req
97. Too bad we didn't get a
chance to paste the Riddler.Copy !req
98. We might yet. Don't forget, I placed a
homing transmitter in the band of that tiara.Copy !req
99. - It'll lead us right to his hideout.
- Yes.Copy !req
100. Now to the Batmobile.Copy !req
101. - Wait, Robin, look.
- Holy sewer pipe, what's he up to?Copy !req
102. You're slipping, Batman.Copy !req
103. I knew it was a phony crown
all the time. Heh, heh, heh!Copy !req
104. Riddle me this, crime fighter,
what room can no one enter?Copy !req
105. If you figure it out, look for
another royal riddle in this crown.Copy !req
106. That ends any chance of
tracking him on the homing device.Copy !req
107. - Shall we go after him in the manhole?
- We'd never find him.Copy !req
108. There're hundreds
of tunnels down there.Copy !req
109. - A riddle a day keeps the Riddler away.
- What?Copy !req
110. Once, a long time ago, the Riddler
made the mistake of telling me that.Copy !req
111. It means as long as he dishes out
riddles, he's not finished with his plot.Copy !req
112. When the riddles stop, that's
when he's ready for his final caper.Copy !req
113. And he told the truth, that diamond
tiara wasn't what he was really after.Copy !req
114. Right, Robin, but we have two
more riddles to tell us what it might be.Copy !req
115. Now, the first clue was,
"What room can no one enter?"Copy !req
116. - A mushroom.
- Agreed. The second one, read it again.Copy !req
117. "What is the beginning of
eternity, the end of time and space...Copy !req
118. beginning of every end
and the end of every race?"Copy !req
119. Golly, Batman, it doesn't
seem to make sense.Copy !req
120. Let's see, if your first answer,
mushroom, was correct...Copy !req
121. - Why, that's it. Of course.
- You have it?Copy !req
122. What was it the Riddler said
when he threw back the tiara?Copy !req
123. There's a royal
riddle in this crown.Copy !req
124. Look up the address of
the Royal Mushroom Club.Copy !req
125. There are some things we can do the good
old fashioned way, using the telephone book.Copy !req
126. I must be getting lazy.Copy !req
127. Meanwhile in another cave...Copy !req
128. a rat cave, dreary hideout of
the sinister River Rats Gang...Copy !req
129. currently in the
employ of the Riddler.Copy !req
130. What's this, River Rats?Copy !req
131. Munching cheese while
there's work to be done?Copy !req
132. Sorry, Riddler,
but we got hungry.Copy !req
133. Oh, indeed. Perhaps
you'll lose your appetite...Copy !req
134. when I deduct the cheese bill
from your share of the profits.Copy !req
135. - How'd it go, chief?
- Magnificent, sumptuous.Copy !req
136. You should've seen the look on
Batman's face when I threw the tiara.Copy !req
137. Now, my good rats, now is the time
to go to the Royal Mushroom Club.Copy !req
138. If plan 13Z goes well,
and I'm sure it will...Copy !req
139. the finest achievement in crime
should be culminated tonight.Copy !req
140. The end of Batman and Robin.Copy !req
141. And later at the Royal
Mushroom Club...Copy !req
142. - Magnificent, what a fantastic duplication.
- With those jewels, it must be worth a fortune.Copy !req
143. Value is not the object, it's friendship that
counts and admiration for your great country.Copy !req
144. - To America.
- America.Copy !req
145. America.Copy !req
146. Mmm! What a delicious wine.
Oh, ho! Marvelous bouquet.Copy !req
147. The Royal Mushroom Club has
some of the finest wines in the world.Copy !req
148. - Right, Mr. Ambassador?
- Yes, fine vintages in rare years, indeed.Copy !req
149. Ahem. Begging your
pardon, Mr. Ambassador...Copy !req
150. but we're very proud
of our wine cellar.Copy !req
151. - Perhaps His Majesty would like a tour?
- An excellent idea.Copy !req
152. I'm always interested in good wines, like
a small boy looking at expensive bicycles.Copy !req
153. Well, then, let me lead the way.Copy !req
154. - Batman, Robin, trouble or pleasure?
- We're not sure yet.Copy !req
155. Is King Boris
visiting here tonight?Copy !req
156. Why, yes, he just went with some
other guests for a tour of our wine cellar.Copy !req
157. - Which way?
- Fastest way is down the stairs.Copy !req
158. Come on, Robin, we
haven't a second to lose.Copy !req
159. Well, well. Chateau le Duc 29.
Oh, I didn't know there was any left.Copy !req
160. I'm very much impressed. Heh.Copy !req
161. Batman and Robin, this
is an unexpected pleasure.Copy !req
162. Thank you. This isn't a social
visit. May we approach King Boris?Copy !req
163. Oh, it's an honor to meet
you. How can I be of service?Copy !req
164. Your Majesty, you're in great danger
here. May we escort you to your hotel?Copy !req
165. - Danger? Heh, that's ridiculous.
- We thought so too, but then...Copy !req
166. Oh, I've heard wondrous
things about you, Batman.Copy !req
167. But this time I'm afraid you're
wrong. First of all, I am with friends.Copy !req
168. Second, there is no political
threat against me, I assure you.Copy !req
169. My country is small and harmless,
my people content and happy.Copy !req
170. Who would want to...Copy !req
171. Heavenly days!Copy !req
172. - The king, he's gone.
- What?Copy !req
173. Great Scott, a trap door.Copy !req
174. - Does anyone know where this leads?
- I wasn't aware there was a trap door here.Copy !req
175. Come on, Robin. There might
be an exit from it outside the club.Copy !req
176. "Two steps to aid you with
my plot." That's no riddle.Copy !req
177. But those are.Copy !req
178. "How much dirt is in a hole three
acres square and 200 feet deep?"Copy !req
179. None, because it's a hole.Copy !req
180. I suggest that's a bit too
elementary for our quizzical criminal.Copy !req
181. "If you're having
difficulty with the first...Copy !req
182. perhaps your young friend
can help you on this one.Copy !req
183. What won't run long,
without winding?"Copy !req
184. "What won't run long without
winding?" Clock? Stairway.Copy !req
185. A river.Copy !req
186. The Gotham River.Copy !req
187. - But which bend or wind?
- We'll soon find out.Copy !req
188. Come on, Robin,
back to the Batcave!Copy !req
189. Gotham City River, bending
and winding sections.Copy !req
190. - Nothing there.
- Hm.Copy !req
191. - Negative again.
- Hold it.Copy !req
192. I think we may have something.
Let's take a closer look.Copy !req
193. That may be it.Copy !req
194. Gotham City Water
and Power Plant...Copy !req
195. exact location and size.Copy !req
196. This could be a clue, a hole
three acres wide and 200 feet deep.Copy !req
197. I'll bet the Riddler and his gang
are holing up with King Boris.Copy !req
198. - Let's go dig them out.
- And fast.Copy !req
199. And at the obsolete
water and power plant...Copy !req
200. I don't know what kind of rogues you are, but
I demand that you release me this instant.Copy !req
201. Gee, I never met royalty
before. It's pretty thrilling.Copy !req
202. Royalty?Copy !req
203. You never met royalty?Copy !req
204. And just whom do you think
stands before you, my cherub?Copy !req
205. I am the Prince of Puzzlers, the
Count of Conundrums, the King of Crime.Copy !req
206. I hold court here, no one else!Copy !req
207. It was a good idea, hiding
the Batmobile in that thicket.Copy !req
208. - Nobody will spot it there.
- Hope no one spots us climbing this wall.Copy !req
209. Why don't we just break in
through the main entrance?Copy !req
210. - Surprise-attack style.
- Don't worry, we'll catch them off guard.Copy !req
211. Through the ventilating system?Copy !req
212. First I wanna make sure we don't endanger
King Boris when we make our entrance.Copy !req
213. Gosh, there could be diplomatic
repercussions if we fail this time, Batman.Copy !req
214. That's not the point, Robin.Copy !req
215. What's important is the world know that all
visitors to these teeming shores are safe.Copy !req
216. - Be they peasant or a king.
- Gee, Batman, I never thought of that.Copy !req
217. - You're right.
- It's the very essence of our democracy.Copy !req
218. Now, listen, you have the
Queen of Freedom replica.Copy !req
219. What possible good can it
do for you to keep me here?Copy !req
220. My fine sovereign friend,
in your wildest imagination...Copy !req
221. you could never begin to
conceive my genius stratagem.Copy !req
222. If not ransom, then what?Copy !req
223. You, my dear king, have
been reduced to a pawn...Copy !req
224. an important pawn, however, for you
will be used to checkmate Batman...Copy !req
225. and, heh, his precocious,
heh, Boy Wonder.Copy !req
226. When they show up...Copy !req
227. then my men will escort you
safely back to town, ha, ha...Copy !req
228. with your statue.Copy !req
229. - You want a piece of cheese?
- Not without a good vintage port, you lackey.Copy !req
230. To quote an old axiom, the
finer the bait, the shorter the wait.Copy !req
231. Right, king-y?Copy !req
232. And we shouldn't have to wait much
longer if Batman fell for my clues.Copy !req
233. All right, boy.Copy !req
234. Now you're going to fall,
right into the hands of the law.Copy !req
235. Now, Whitey.Copy !req
236. Batman, we're caught
in this sticky stuff.Copy !req
237. I... I can't get out
of it. I... I can't move.Copy !req
238. Neither can I.Copy !req
239. Ha! It couldn't be more
beautiful. Ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
240. Whoever heard of a bat
caught in a spider's web?Copy !req
241. Wait, rats, be sure to
strap them down good.Copy !req
242. I'm a man of my word, king-y.Copy !req
243. Whiskers, Whiskers, return
the statue to His Majesty...Copy !req
244. and take him back to town,
blindfolded, of course. Oh...Copy !req
245. Oh, you were stupendous
as a pawn, king-y.Copy !req
246. Batman and Robin
played right into my hands.Copy !req
247. Comfortable?Copy !req
248. Batman...Copy !req
249. these drive shafts rotate
1000 revolutions per second.Copy !req
250. That means the centrifugal force
will tear the bones from your bodies.Copy !req
251. But before I start them spinning,
I'd like to spin off one last riddle.Copy !req
252. You might have about a
minute to solve it before you die.Copy !req
253. Now, then, why is a
woman in love like a welder?Copy !req
254. Bye, Batman.Copy !req
255. Goodbye, Boy Wonder.Copy !req
256. Take it easy, Robin.Copy !req
257. One bad turn deserves another.Copy !req