Barry 4x3

1. Toro.

2. It's an honor to finaly meet you, Toro.

3. I'm glad to help with your problem. It was nice when Hank checked in.

4. You have to be afraid of nothing. The Berkman hit will happen today,

5. and I got two of my best guys on it. Nestor and Chewy Flores.

6. Wait a minute. You mean the guys from the podcast?

7. Yes. But it won't interfere with their schedule.

8. - They record on Thursdays. - That's good.

9. So, the guys who are going to kill Barry have a podcast?

10. Yeah, it's called Los Amigos Gadget.

11. Each week, they rate and review a different gadget,

12. but none of the gadgets work.

13. Once, they did a jacket that cooks s'mores in its pocket.

14. It's really stupid.

15. I bought one of those. It works fine.

16. But won't they be recognized?

17. Podcast is voice. You're thinking of the TikToks.

18. Nobody knows what they look like.

19. To be honest, it's my one issue with Los Amigos Gadgets.

20. It's a show about gadgets, but you have to listen

21. and imagine what the gadgets look like.

22. There is a link to YouTube.

23. If you want to see the gadgets, you click on it.

24. Right, but I'm listening while I'm driving.

25. So am I supposed to pull over just to click on that link?

26. Yeah. I'll do that. I'll start doing that.

27. The FBI is cutting a deal with Barry.

28. He's informing on some big crime figures.

29. Apparently, he's very valuable to them.

30. Sir, if he goes free, he is going to come and kill me.

31. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

32. I'm sure you've got some big protocols in place to protect your witnesses.

33. We have some, but if a defendant is willing and determined, it can be hard.

34. But that's usually ex-military, so I'm not too worried.

35. Barry is ex-military.

36. Do you own a gun, Mr. Cousineau?

37. He does own a prop gun, which he was given by Rip Torn.

38. If Rip Torn gave it to you, it probably fires real bullets. That's good.

39. You know what? I'm just gonna go into hiding.

40. They always find you. I've had many cases like this.

41. - But I can't talk about them. - Because they're classified?

42. No. They're really disturbing, and I just don't like thinking about them.

43. We're in a good position here. Your story and the facts line up.

44. There's nothing they have to cloud the case and set him free.

45. We've controlled the information, so just continue to stick to the facts.

46. And when you're outside this office, keep your mouth shut.

47. Tom, I have to ask you a question. It's completely hypothetical.

48. What is it?

49. Do you think it would be an issue if I invited a reporter to my theater?

50. You performed a one-man show for fucking Lon O'Neil?

51. - What is wrong with you? - What the fuck is wrong with you?

52. I don't know. What do we do?

53. We have to stop that article from coming out!

54. Let me get this straight.

55. So, Noho Hank and Cristobal are an item?

56. Yeah, they started working with each other on a job

57. and then just grew into something.

58. - They're actually really in love. - That must be nice.

59. And you say they're building a crime utopia?

60. That's what they were doing when I worked with them.

61. I trained some of their guys.

62. This is big, Barry. And you held up your end of the bargain.

63. So, we looked into this Sally Reed.

64. She'll have to completely give up her old life,

65. her family, her friends, no contact with anyone from her past.

66. How does she feel about this?

67. I haven't asked her about it yet.

68. But I think she'll be into it. Actually, I know she'll be into it.

69. You know, she said I make her feel safe.

70. Berkman, you got a visitor.

71. Who are you?

72. I'm writing a piece about Detective Janice Moss

73. and the events surrounding her death.

74. - Can I talk about that? - Absolutely.

75. It's only fair you get a chance to respond to the accusations

76. that Gene Cousineau's been making against you.

77. - What's he saying? - He's saying that you killed her.

78. You kidnapped him, and that you threatened his family.

79. He told you that?

80. It took over three hours, but yes, he told me that.

81. Why don't you tell me what happened the night you were arrested?

82. Why did you go into Jim Moss's house?

83. - Who do you write for again? - Vanity Fair.

84. Wait, do you guys have Julia Roberts on your cover?

85. Yes. I'm sure at some point, we had Julia Roberts on our cover.

86. - He said I threatened his family? - Did you?

87. I apologized for all that.

88. I got a good case here, and I'm cooperating and everything,

89. so I don't...

90. If he keeps running his mouth and telling my story to people, then...

91. Okay.

92. If he's saying that stuff and he's running his mouth,

93. that's gonna fuck shit up.

94. - And if you publish it... - I mean, I'm gonna publish it.

95. It's really your chance to say your piece. I'm only trying to be fair here.

96. You know what would be fucking fair?

97. Is if Gene Cousineau stops telling my life story!

98. Tell Gene Cousineau to shut his fucking mouth!

99. Hello, hi.

100. I'm Sally Reed, and today I'm gonna teach you how to be actors.

101. I learned my craft from Mr. Gene M. Cousineau.

102. And today, you will be learning his techniques through me.

103. They've been very helpful for me,

104. as well as for many other working actors.

105. Sorry.

106. Look, how many of you are here 'cause I'm the entitled cunt girl?

107. I know about you, but that's not why I wanted to take the classes.

108. Same. I actually thought that the video was super unfair and overblown.

109. I mean, everyone's allowed to get angry. Right?

110. Thank you.

111. Pretty much, every fight that I get into with my sister.

112. For sure.

113. That was an ugly moment. I can see that now, but it was genuine.

114. And ultimately, it's where I want you to go in this class.

115. As actors, we have to be vulnerable, to be the ugliest versions of us.

116. We all have it in us. And to trigger it voluntarily takes strength.

117. Normally, we do some warm up exercises,

118. and then I'm supposed to drone on about theory or whatever,

119. but I always hated that part of class, so I think we should just dive right in.

120. Okay, did everybody bring a scene?

121. Jim Moss, Lon O'Neil. I'm so sorry to bother you at home.

122. - I told you, leave me alone. - I spoke to Barry Berkman.

123. He seems to think that Gene Cousineau's trying to railroad him,

124. and I wanted your thoughts on that and on your daughter's case.

125. Why would he think that Gene's trying to railroad him?

126. Told him what Mr. Cousineau said to me and he didn't seem very happy about it.

127. - You spoke to Cousineau? - Oh, yes, I did.

128. Let's go have a chat in my garage.

129. Yo, big man. Yo, big bird!

130. Yo, big bird, where's your dude at?

131. What's the matter? Come on, Raven.

132. Oh, he's sad.

133. Got a new code name? Mr. Lonely?

134. Hey, Goose!

135. Where's your associate? Dude with the busted face. Y'all break up?

136. I heard he sold you out. Looking like Boo-Boo the Fool now.

137. This is NoHo Hank.

138. Hank, you ever been called Boo-Boo the Fool before?

139. - I don't think so. - Well, I have. And it's very hurtful.

140. I've also been called Big Bird, Fish Tits, and Baby Shoes.

141. All because Barry fucked me over.

142. My whole life I put myself on the line for that guy,

143. and all I've ever gotten in return is shit.

144. - It's been taken care of. - What does that mean?

145. By the end of the day, Barry won't be a problem anymore.

146. He won't?

147. We have to stop communicating. Here's what I need you to do.

148. - Keep your mouth shut. - Okay.

149. Play stupid and you'll be paid for it on the other end.

150. Hey, guys, come on, take five.

151. Go on. Go hydrate.

152. Guys, take five.

153. Hey, buddy, take a break.

154. Batir?

155. This new organization of yours is a direct affront to your homeland.

156. I come to you as a friend to tell you

157. that the elders have a new contingent to run L.A.

158. You either get rid of those guys and join us or we will wipe you out.

159. You can tell the elders that that would be a mistake.

160. Think about it, Hank.

161. Fucking piece of shit!

162. I do so fucking much for you. This is what you fucking do!

163. Fucking piece of shit!

164. I fucking help you out. I fucking save your fucking ass!

165. Fuck you!

166. Fuck 'em! I do so fucking much for people.

167. I don't see anybody.

168. - Are you sure that is Lon's house? - Yes, I'm positive this is.

169. What are you doing?

170. Are you crazy? What are you doing?

171. It's the only way, Gene.

172. Get down. We can't be doing this.

173. - Be careful, there's a lot of glass. - Ugh, fine.

174. All right, we have very little time, Gene, come on.

175. - Get up off the floor, Gene. - I just lay in glass.

176. Come on. Come on. You're fine, Gene.

177. - Tom, come back, what are we doing? - We got a dog.

178. - I'm fine. - All right.

179. Hurry up. That was illegal.

180. Shit! That's a kitchen in there.

181. Bingo, found his office.

182. What are you doing?

183. - Everything's stored in the monitor. - I don't think that's true.

184. I'm telling you, everything is stored in the monitor.

185. - I think you got to get the hard drive. - This is one of those new computers.

186. - Get the hard drive. - Gene, don't argue with me.

187. - Gene Cousineau? - Lon's wife in the house!

188. - What's going on? - Hi. I'm Gene Cousineau...

189. Why are you in my house? Is there someone else here?

190. Do you know I was so worried about Lon

191. that I came to check to see if the house was broken into?

192. Is this about the Barry Berkman article?

193. I wish you would call it the Gene Cousineau article, but yes.

194. I'm actually worried. I can't get a hold of him.

195. Last time we spoke was this morning.

196. He was doing a interview on your article.

197. - Did he tell you where he was going? - No.

198. He said he needed to check on a victim's father.

199. - Do you know who that is? - Victim's father?

200. You need your juice, Shelby, drink your juice.

201. The first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club.

202. Coach, it's me, Rudy. Put me in.

203. I'm big. It's the pictures that got small.

204. Okay, what's going on?

205. - I picked Sunset Boulevard. - Okay.

206. I thought maybe we would do something from a play or something,

207. and then I saw that everybody brought in movie scenes,

208. so I just googled famous movie quotes.

209. Did you bring in something from a play?

210. I had a thing. What was it from?

211. No.

212. - So you didn't bring in anything? - No, I m lame. I'll just excuse myself.

213. - You're charming. - Okay?

214. - Is that why you want to be an actress? - I don't know.

215. Do people say to you "Oh, you're so pretty."

216. "You're so charming. You should be an actress."

217. - Do they say that to you? - Yeah.

218. Yeah?

219. And do you feel like you have a need to express something?

220. Like?

221. Like, I don't know, complexity? Hope? Desire?

222. The human condition?

223. Or do you just want to be charming?

224. So you're not an artist. You're just a perfect pair of tits.

225. No.

226. - Then why the fuck are you here? - I can't say.

227. - Why not? - I don't want to.

228. Why? You're afraid we're all going to be bowled over by your intellect?

229. No.

230. Did you book something?

231. They wanted hot girl, and you fit the bill. Only trouble is you can't act.

232. - So you come to me. - No.

233. And because you've coasted your whole damn life on your god-given tits

234. and ass and your inherent charm,

235. you think you can come in here to my class unprepared?

236. Waste my time and I'm gonna let you off the hook?

237. No.

238. - Well, that's what you did, isn't it? - You're being mean.

239. I'm being mean? Oh what, so now I'm dealing with a child?

240. What, nobody's ever been mean to you before?

241. Why? 'Cause your personality? Your brain? Your taste in old movies?

242. Or maybe it's just because they all wanted to fuck you?

243. Stop it!

244. Don't think. Now, say the line.

245. I'm big! It's the pictures that got small!

246. Good, you okay? That was beautiful.

247. I'm so sorry I had to go there.

248. What you just witnessed. What was your name again?

249. Kristen.

250. What you just witnessed Kristen do is the backbone of this class.

251. It's about locating the parts of ourselves that we don't like

252. and making them our paints.

253. That was abusive.

254. Well, it's part of the work. It's Cousineau's method.

255. Just 'cause it was done to you does not mean you need to do it to us.

256. Okay, let's take a tight five

257. and, when we come back, we'll do some mirror exercises.

258. This call may be recorded. You have received a collect call from...

259. Barry.

260. an inmate at California Prison. Do you accept the charges?

261. Yes.

262. Hi, Hank.

263. Hey, Barry.

264. You good?

265. Hey, look, we got a situation.

266. Yeah.

267. Mr. Cousineau, Gene Cousineau, he's my acting teacher,

268. he's talking to the press.

269. And I'm...

270. I'm trying to be discrete here.

271. If he was a dog, he'd need to go to a new home.

272. I need a dog catcher,

273. I don't know to spell this out for you any more than I already am, Hank.

274. But I need your help. Like now.

275. Are you looking out for me, Barry?

276. Yeah, no, I mean, no, he's got information on you and Cristobal,

277. that's what I'm saying is that he's got a lot of information on you.

278. Why are you lying to me, Barry?

279. Why would you say I'm lying? You know, 'cause I'm not lying.

280. - You're lying to me right now. - Hank, what are you talking about?

281. Barry, I have been nothing but a loving and good friend to you.

282. And all you do is you take. And you take.

283. Hank. I don't know where this is coming from,

284. but I'm calling with you with some really important information.

285. You need to listen to me and take this.

286. And this is coming from my heart, man. We've been friends for a long time.

287. It's like you're only out for yourself.

288. That is not true. I don't know who you're talking to.

289. I don't know who everybody's been talking to.

290. But I've been nothing but good to people.

291. I'm a good friend. I'm a good person. That is who I am, okay?

292. This is me looking out for you. All right?

293. Then why are you talking to the Feds?

294. See, now why're you lying? See, now you're lying to me.

295. I wouldn't talk to the Feds. You think I'd do that, motherfucker?

296. Do you think that's who I am? That I would talk to the Feds?

297. I'm gonna forget you said that,

298. and you're gonna get the dog catcher for me, all right?

299. I'm not doing shit for you, Barry.

300. - Hank - Not anymore.

301. Shut up! Hank, do what I say 'cause if I get out of here, man, you are...

302. The day you get out of prison is my fucking birthday, man. Okay?

303. You're a tough guy, now? You think you're a tough guy?

304. You're not fucking tough. Hank.

305. You don't know what fucking tough is, motherfucker.

306. - Why don't you enjoy... - You're fucking dead.

307. hell, you murdering, self centered, lying, narcissistic piece of shit!

308. You fucked up, Hank. I'm coming for you. I get out of here I...

309. Hey! Jim, hi.

310. Hey, has that Vanity Fair reporter come here and try to talk to you?

311. 'Cause he's trying to make me speak to him.

312. Did you do a one-man show for Lon O'Neil?

313. You can't be trusted, Gene. You have to be isolated.

314. I had stage fever. I exaggerated things to make me look better.

315. But I'm gonna clear everything up. Let's go and talk to Lon.

316. Lon ain't going to be talking to anybody for a long time.

317. And he just showed up on your doorstep like this?

318. Yes. And his laptop, his phone, wallet, ID, it was all missing.

319. He hasn't spoken yet.

320. Lon, it's Faye, your editor. Lon, what happened to you?

321. Lon? Please say something.

322. Sadly, I don't know you.

323. I should probably go back to my parents. Yes.

324. - How long has he spoken German? - He doesn't speak German.

325. It will be more fantastic, if someone would come to take me with them.

326. Gummibar?

327. Would you want to tell the others we're back?

328. They left. They think you're a monster.

329. - This was such a stupid idea. - Don't start feeling sorry for yourself.

330. You're clearly unhinged, but I've been to three acting classes.

331. You're the only person that's gotten anything out of me.

332. I did book a job. A big job. I have one scene, and I have to nail it.

333. I need your help. Will you do it?

334. That's us.

335. - Sir, sir, I need to report something. - And what's that?

336. - My friend is gonna get killed today. - What's that?

337. My friend, Barry Berkman, his life is in danger.

338. He's in special housing. He's got a hit out on him.

339. - Sit down. - No, I'm serious.

340. I'm not fucking with you, sir. He's going to get murdered today.

341. - You have to alert special housing. - I'll look into it.

342. - They're gonna murder Barry Berkman! - Hey, shut up.

343. They're gonna murder Barry Berkman! Special housing!

344. They can look in the special housing! They're gonna murder Barry Berkman!

345. Shit's going down in special housing! Damn it! No! No!

346. Barry? These are some of our agents from witness protection,

347. and we filled them in on what you're willing to provide us with.

348. - Let me tell you they're pretty excited. - We're stoked.

349. Agent James Curtis. We've worked with him on a number of cases like yours.

350. - Hi, Barry. - Hi.

351. I'm gonna just walk you through all the ins and outs of this program, okay?

352. And answer any questions you might have.

353. You know I'm bringing Sally Reed with me?

354. - Oh yes. - We've informed.

355. - Yeah, of course. - And that'll happen soon?

356. Well, someone's anxious to be reunited with their lady, I guess.

357. Indeed.

358. Barry, you don't have to worry about any of that stuff, okay?

359. Okay.

360. You sould understand

361. that I've protected people like yourself for... it's been 20 years, now.

362. I just want to be honest with you here, again, this goes back to that trust.

363. I'm committed to this.

364. Good. I wish I could brag about a hundred percent success rate.

365. We've lost a few over the years, broken a few eggs.

366. You might blush at the idea of being referred to as an egg.

367. But here's what's important. Those eggs that cracked.

368. Those eggs weren't trustworthy. Those eggs weren't honest.

369. So what're you gonna be, Barry? You gonna be an honest egg?

370. I think so. For all you know, we've put a chip in you, right?

371. We know where you are.

372. Maybe not. But, ultimately, that's what it's about.

373. You tell us what you like. You tell us what you need,

374. and, we'll see to it that we can get you everything we can.

375. That guy's here to kill me.

376. He's got a weapon on him or something. That guy's here to kill me.

377. - That's one of Agent Curtis's men. - No, that's not...

378. Search him. He's got a weapon on him.

379. - What? I thought he was with you guys. - No, he's with you.

380. This is for Cristobal and Hank!

381. What the... ?

382. It wasn't my fault! I told you, I told you it won't work!

383. Kill him! Kill him!

384. Kill him! He's there! Right there! Kill him!

385. He's there! Right there! Kill him! He's there!

386. We've got shots fired in special housing!

387. Go get him, boys!

388. Chewy! Chewy!

389. Oh shit.

390. Where the hell is Berkman?

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