1. Phil
As far as conferences go,
it was boring.Copy !req
2. Nothing to report.
Oh, how was Kyle's game?Copy !req
3. Oh, it was amazing.Copy !req
4. Six-zero.
Kyle pitched seven innings.Copy !req
5. Coach said it was
the fastest he'd ever thrown.Copy !req
6. No way. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
7. Ugh, I'm sorry I missed it.Copy !req
8. Oh hey, so I know you
don't want to celebrate,Copy !req
9. but I made
a reservation at Brio's
at 7:00 tomorrow night.Copy !req
10. - You did?
- Phil: I did.Copy !req
11. - That's awesome!
- Phil: Anyway,Copy !req
12. I'm gonna stand by
on the earlier flight.Copy !req
13. Hopefully,
I'll be home around lunch.Copy !req
14. Oh, I hope so.Copy !req
15. Okay, babe. I'll see you
when you get here. I love you.Copy !req
16. I love you, too. Sleep tight.Copy !req
17. May I help you?Copy !req
18. Good morning, ma'am.
Uh, Kenneth Goulet.Copy !req
19. Do you have a moment?Copy !req
20. All I'm saying is that
sometimes the police fall short.Copy !req
21. Now, justice...Copy !req
22. That's still attainable.Copy !req
23. - Kyle: Who is this?
- Hi. You must be Kyle.Copy !req
24. - I'm, uh, Kenneth Goulet—
- Please leave.Copy !req
25. Mm.Copy !req
26. Okay.Copy !req
27. I understand you had a full-ride
to play ball at Michigan.Copy !req
28. You decided to stay home.
Why was that?Copy !req
29. Look, man, whatever
it is you're selling,
we don't want any.Copy !req
30. I know who killed your dad.Copy !req
31. Dad?Copy !req
32. - Wait, have you been up all night?
- I fucked up, son.Copy !req
33. W-w-what is all this? What hap—
What's going on here?Copy !req
34. I pissed off the wrong guy.Copy !req
35. Dad, you do that every day.Copy !req
36. We gotta leave.
We're leaving Dodge.Copy !req
37. Leave LA?
I— No, I-I can't.Copy !req
38. - I can't leave LA.
- Okay.Copy !req
39. You get ready.Copy !req
40. I'm gonna pack the car.Copy !req
41. I'm gonna get new suitcases,Copy !req
42. - you pack Gordon.
- Dad,Copy !req
43. - I'm not leaving LA.
- What the hell happenedCopy !req
44. on "Laws of Humanity" yesterday?Copy !req
45. Tom, this is not a good time.Copy !req
46. Just tell them I was doing
what I thought was best
for my family.Copy !req
47. They loved you.
They want to bring you back.Copy !req
48. The showrunner told me he had
no idea you were that good.Copy !req
49. He said you gave
real pathos to that—Copy !req
50. to that sad old man character.Copy !req
51. And now, they're gonna
extend the part,Copy !req
52. give you additional scenes.Copy !req
53. On "Laws of" fucking "Humanity"!Copy !req
54. You know how big that show is?
It's huge!Copy !req
55. Gets like-like a 1.6
in the demo.Copy !req
56. Tom, I'm leaving town.Copy !req
57. What? Why?Copy !req
58. Because I pissed off a guy
I shouldn't have.Copy !req
59. Well, I must say, that's, uh,Copy !req
60. that's right
on brand for you, Gene.Copy !req
61. You know, I've been
your agent for 30 years,Copy !req
62. and let me tell you something.Copy !req
63. It has not been easy.Copy !req
64. People have told me
you're narcissistic,Copy !req
65. self-obsessed,Copy !req
66. petty, unhinged.Copy !req
67. Their words, not mine.Copy !req
68. Volatile, toxic,
abusive, malignant.Copy !req
69. A scrub, a dope, a dummy,Copy !req
70. a loser, a cocksucker,Copy !req
71. a dump truck,
a stone-cold buster...Copy !req
72. A bomb? Why can't
I just shoot the guy?Copy !req
73. Well, we were going
to have you shoot them,Copy !req
74. - but—
- Them?Copy !req
75. Wait, I thought it was
just one guy, this Fernando.Copy !req
76. It was. You know, but then,Copy !req
77. Dom and DeLuise over here
pointed out thatCopy !req
78. if we only kill Fernando,
then, like, a whole contingentCopy !req
79. of just weirdly stunning
Bolivian soldiersCopy !req
80. would come in here
and kill all of us.Copy !req
81. So, it's been decided that you
are going to blow them all upCopy !req
82. during their midday meeting,
which is usually around 5 PM.Copy !req
83. Now, Cristobal will be
at Pilates at that time,Copy !req
84. - so he won't be there.
- Right, so I'm bombing a house?Copy !req
85. Oh, and how. Peep this.
Give me your phone.Copy !req
86. You need the Detonate app.Copy !req
87. Oh wait, shit.
I need your face.Copy !req
88. Bingo.Copy !req
89. Would you like to receiveCopy !req
90. Detonate special
promotional offers?Copy !req
91. Absolutely. Can it access
to your photos? Yes.Copy !req
92. Location services? Always.Copy !req
93. Can I share personal information
with market research?Copy !req
94. Sure. Why not?Copy !req
95. And you are set.Copy !req
96. "BerkmanGoesBoom."Copy !req
97. Your password is
"SuddenlySeymour1985,"Copy !req
98. - but the S's are all dollar signs.
- Thanks.Copy !req
99. So, where's this bomb?Copy !req
100. NoHo Hank:
It's right over there.Copy !req
101. NoHo Hank:
Pick it up!Copy !req
102. I want my speech tonight
not to be corny, you know?Copy !req
103. I want it to be honest
and real, like the show.Copy !req
104. Not some
superficial bullshitCopy !req
105. - about how it might be perceived.
- Right.Copy !req
106. - Take this down.
- Yeah.Copy !req
107. Um, "I didn't write,
direct, produce,Copy !req
108. - and star in 'Joplin' for the glory."
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
109. "I do this show
for a little girlCopy !req
110. who came from Joplin, Missouri."Copy !req
111. Yeah, and maybe that little
girl's name is Abigail,Copy !req
112. but everybody calls her Thweetie
because her grandma had a lisp,Copy !req
113. and she'd say, like, "Thweetie!
Time to milk the cows!"Copy !req
114. Yeah. And, um, maybe
Abigail lived on a farm,Copy !req
115. so she was really sheltered and
she didn't see a television setCopy !req
116. until she was,
like, 14 years old.Copy !req
117. And every night,
she would be like, "Mama,Copy !req
118. "promise me those little peopleCopy !req
119. aren't gonna come out
of the television set—"Copy !req
120. - Natalie! That little girl is me.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
121. You're Thweetie?Copy !req
122. cracker-ass, fruity-booty,Copy !req
123. wack as hell, weak sauce,Copy !req
124. fuckhead, fuckface, fucknuts,Copy !req
125. shit nuts,
shit fuck, fuck fuck—Copy !req
126. Wait a minute, somebody
called me a fuck fuck?Copy !req
127. Yeah. Rob Reiner, 1994.Copy !req
128. Was the "Ghosts of
Mississippi" audition.Copy !req
129. I specifically said
I don't want feedback.Copy !req
130. But listen, now, you have
the opportunity to be knownCopy !req
131. as Gene Cousineau, great actor.Copy !req
132. I'm gonna send you
my new address.Copy !req
133. I'm probably gonna be
under another name.Copy !req
134. Go and-and pay
for these, will you?Copy !req
135. Gene?Copy !req
136. Joe Mantegna.Copy !req
137. Gene, it's, uh...Copy !req
138. - it-it's Joe Mantegna.
- Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
139. Joe, listen. I've had
a very stressful day,Copy !req
140. so if we don't make
a scene here,Copy !req
141. - I would really appreciate it.
- Hey. I'm the one violatingCopy !req
142. my restraining order
against you, hotshot.Copy !req
143. The only reason I came
over here was to say...Copy !req
144. good job what you
did for that vet.Copy !req
145. What?Copy !req
146. - Joe Mantegna: The "Variety" piece.
- You were in "Variety"?Copy !req
147. "Gene Cousineau, Former Actor,Copy !req
148. Pays it Forward
to America's Heroes."Copy !req
149. You didn't have this made
at Knott's Berry Farm
to fuck with me, did ya?Copy !req
150. I do a lot of work
with the vets, too.Copy !req
151. Here's my challenge coin.Copy !req
152. "The casting director
from 'Laws of Humanity'
told 'Variety'Copy !req
153. "not many acting teachers
have accomplishedCopy !req
154. "the extraordinary feat...Copy !req
155. - of saving a soldier's life through acting."
- What?Copy !req
156. "Barry Berkman was
once a wooden soldier.Copy !req
157. - Thanks to Gene Cousineau, he's become a real boy."
- What?Copy !req
158. Look, I'm having dinner
with some friends.Copy !req
159. You should join us.
This Friday, my house...Copy !req
160. and we'll bury that hatchet.
Oh, and I'll be sure to tellCopy !req
161. my lawyer to remove
that restraining order.Copy !req
162. Semper fi, brother.Copy !req
163. Joe Mantegna just
invited you to his house,Copy !req
164. - not to brawl with you, but to break bread.
- I have to go.Copy !req
165. You understand what this means?Copy !req
166. This is the
industry-wide amnesiaCopy !req
167. - we've been hoping for for so long!
- Tom.Copy !req
168. I have to go.Copy !req
169. Why? Why is it you
have to leave LA?Copy !req
170. If I tell you this,Copy !req
171. it could get you killed.Copy !req
172. Not this bullshit again.Copy !req
173. I've explained this to you.
It's racist.Copy !req
174. Just because Tony Danza
happens to be an Italian,
doesn't meanCopy !req
175. - he's hooked up with the mob.
- This is way worse than Tony Danza.Copy !req
176. My life is in danger.Copy !req
177. The best thing for you is
to stay the hell away from me.Copy !req
178. I want to be
a law-and-order guyCopy !req
179. as much as the next one. I do.Copy !req
180. But, when something stinks,
it stinks. Am I wrong?Copy !req
181. It's always been very confusing.Copy !req
182. The police said thatCopy !req
183. Ryan was murdered by
Chechen gangsters.Copy !req
184. And did that make
sense to you then?Copy !req
185. No.Copy !req
186. My investigation saysCopy !req
187. one of his classmates,
Berkman. Barry Berkman...Copy !req
188. He pinned it on them.
Maybe he...Copy !req
189. he was an associate
at one point.
He betrayed them.Copy !req
190. I don't know. I do know...Copy !req
191. he sullied your son's good name.Copy !req
192. Your son wanted to be
an actor, right?Copy !req
193. Well, this fella's in LA
right now, working as an actor.Copy !req
194. He took your son's life.Copy !req
195. And now, he's living
your son's dream.Copy !req
196. That's his address.Copy !req
197. That's where he lives.Copy !req
198. Sally
I didn't write, direct,Copy !req
199. produce, and star in
"Joplin" for the glory.Copy !req
200. I do this show
for a little girlCopy !req
201. who came from
Joplin, Missouri.Copy !req
202. - Oh, who's the little girl?
- Sally: Me! Jesus, she's me.Copy !req
203. - Go inside.
- Sally: What, so you'll just meet us there then?Copy !req
204. Yeah. Well, we're about
to roll, so I gotta...Copy !req
205. - Sally: Okay. Well...
- Barry: Well?Copy !req
206. You'll make the screening,
though, right?Copy !req
207. - Barry: Yeah.
- Sally: Okay.Copy !req
208. Okay, love you, Boo Bear.
Wish me luck!Copy !req
209. The limo's here! Where's Barry?Copy !req
210. - Oh, his shoot's running late.
- Aw.Copy !req
211. - How do I look?
- Beautiful.Copy !req
212. - I don't look stressed out?
- No, no, no. You look beautiful.Copy !req
213. Can you even imagine
back in Cousineau's classCopy !req
214. when we were doing
mirror exercisesCopy !req
215. that we would be getting
in a limo on our wayCopy !req
216. - to your own show's premiere?
- Oh, I'll see you there, okay?Copy !req
217. - Thank you!
- What? Mm-hm.Copy !req
218. What the...?Copy !req
219. Shit.Copy !req
220. Reporter 1:
So, rumor has it you're not
actually from Joplin.Copy !req
221. - What, true? False?
- No, I'm from Joplin!Copy !req
222. It says it on the poster!Copy !req
223. - Wow, we have IndieWire!
- Okay, Sally, you look amazing!Copy !req
224. - Great. Oh, thank you so much.
- How are you feeling tonight?Copy !req
225. Um, you know, they say
not to eat before
these things, and nowCopy !req
226. I really wish I ate something
'cause I'm kind of hungry,Copy !req
227. but there'll be food later.Copy !req
228. I feel good. I feel excited.Copy !req
229. Reporter 2:
You look good.
Who are you wearing?Copy !req
230. - Um, I think it's... Oh my god.
- Shoshanna!Copy !req
231. Who am I wearing?
Oh, Shoshanna.
It's Shoshanna.Copy !req
232. You're so pretty.Copy !req
233. Reporter 3:
You do not look old enough
to have an abused daughter.Copy !req
234. Oh, thank you for saying that!Copy !req
235. Reporter 4:
What is your secret?Copy !req
236. Um, well, I wash my face,
and I try to get 9 hours.Copy !req
237. Let's get you inside.Copy !req
238. Fay
Hello. This is Fay.
How can I help you today?Copy !req
239. Uh, yeah. My app isn't, uh,
syncing with the BluetoothCopy !req
240. on the device
I'm trying to detonate.Copy !req
241. Sure. Okay.
I can help you with that.Copy !req
242. What's your username?Copy !req
243. BerkmanGoesBoom.Copy !req
244. Capital B, capital G, capital B.Copy !req
245. Okay, thank you.
Give me one secondCopy !req
246. while I pull up your account.Copy !req
247. Okay. I found you.Copy !req
248. First, let's make sure
you have the latest
version of DetonateCopy !req
249. - installed on your phone.
- I do.Copy !req
250. Okay. Is the Bluetooth on?Copy !req
251. - Yes.
- Fay: Huh. Okay.Copy !req
252. I'm going to put you on a quick hold.Copy !req
253. Hey, hey, hey.
There he is.Copy !req
254. - How was Pilates?
- Good.Copy !req
255. Are we still leaving tomorrow?Copy !req
256. Well, there are some things
that have come upCopy !req
257. that I need to discuss with you.Copy !req
258. - Okay.
- I have to admit,Copy !req
259. I didn't come to LACopy !req
260. only to run
the Chechen operation.Copy !req
261. I came because I had a feelingCopy !req
262. that you've been disloyal
to my daughter.Copy !req
263. Elena means the world to me.Copy !req
264. Uh-huh.Copy !req
265. I had you followed to
your little love nest.Copy !req
266. What are you saying?
I don't know what you're saying.Copy !req
267. "It's done.
Glad you're out of there.Copy !req
268. "Are your men suspicious?Copy !req
269. "No. I actually think
they are having fun.Copy !req
270. "Need to see you.Copy !req
271. "Meet at the place, one hour.Copy !req
272. "Make it two.
The guys want to goCopy !req
273. "to Buffalo Wild Wings
and try...Copy !req
274. all the sauces."Copy !req
275. Recorded Voice: Ever wanted to kaboom?Copy !req
276. Join us in our
Virtual Kaboom Room.Copy !req
277. Hi. Thanks for waiting.
I'm back.Copy !req
278. I think I know
what the problem is.Copy !req
279. You always wanted to be
head of the family one day.Copy !req
280. Elena thought
you had potential.
I wasn't so sure.Copy !req
281. So, I gave you the easy work,
like running LA,Copy !req
282. which is the same
as running Disneyland.Copy !req
283. And yet, you still fuck it up.Copy !req
284. Why? Because you haveCopy !req
285. no mental toughness.Copy !req
286. So, let's do a test.Copy !req
287. I'm gonna give you two choices.Copy !req
288. We'll see how you do.Copy !req
289. - Fay: Is your Wi-Fi on?
- Is my Wi-Fi on...Copy !req
290. Yes, it is.Copy !req
291. Okay, try turning it off,
see if that helps.Copy !req
292. Turn the Wi-Fi off?Copy !req
293. One.Copy !req
294. I kill you and make
my daughter a widow.Copy !req
295. Or two.Copy !req
296. You take me to your lover,
NoHo Hank,Copy !req
297. and you shoot him in the head.Copy !req
298. Suegro...Copy !req
299. you're going to have to kill me.Copy !req
300. Well...Copy !req
301. must be true love.Copy !req
302. Mátalo. Hey!Copy !req
303. Turning Wi-Fi off...Copy !req
304. Alright. Sounds like
we were successful.Copy !req
305. Is there anything else
I can help you with today?Copy !req
306. Shit...Copy !req
307. Ah! Reviews are out!
The en fuego's been lifted!Copy !req
308. The embargo's been lifted.
Let me see that.Copy !req
309. - I don't wanna hear it. Critics don't matter.
- Sally...Copy !req
310. This is from the
"New York Times."Copy !req
311. "A show by women
about women for women.Copy !req
312. "'Joplin' refreshingly
avoids the pitfallsCopy !req
313. "of the female-driven
dramedy by deliveringCopy !req
314. - a warts-and-all depiction of self-love."
- Sally...Copy !req
315. If critics could do what I do,
they'd be doing it.Copy !req
316. Okay, but Sally, your show has a 98 on Rotten Tomatoes.Copy !req
317. And "Pam!" only has 27!Copy !req
318. Katie
I'm constantly in awe
of her work ethic,Copy !req
319. her empathy,
and her brutal honesty,Copy !req
320. especially with herself. Um,Copy !req
321. I'm new to the business,
but I feel incredibly luckyCopy !req
322. to have not only
such a great part,Copy !req
323. but a really great mentor. So,Copy !req
324. here she is, the creator
and star of "Joplin,"Copy !req
325. Sally Reed.Copy !req
326. Thank you, Katie.
Working with you has truly beenCopy !req
327. one of the most rewarding
experiences of my career.Copy !req
328. You make me want
to be a better actor.Copy !req
329. Wow.Copy !req
330. Okay. Good evening.Copy !req
331. I-I didn't write, direct,Copy !req
332. produce, and star in
"Joplin" for the glory.Copy !req
333. I-I do this show
for a little girlCopy !req
334. who came from Joplin...Copy !req
335. um...Copy !req
336. Missouri, and, um, ahem,Copy !req
337. she so badly needed
to hear this story,Copy !req
338. to know that she wasn't alone.Copy !req
339. Um, and, um...Copy !req
340. uh, if-if...Copy !req
341. if there is another
little girl out there todayCopy !req
342. who also needs to hear it,
then I have done my job as a...Copy !req
343. um... uh... uh...Copy !req
344. Uh, I'm sorry. Um...Copy !req
345. Someone just told me thatCopy !req
346. we got a 98 on Rotten Tomatoes,Copy !req
347. and it really only
just hit me now.Copy !req
348. I, um, I...Copy !req
349. you know, if you
believe your best review,Copy !req
350. you've gotta believe your worst.Copy !req
351. So, after I got
called "unforgivable"Copy !req
352. in the "Pasadena Star,"Copy !req
353. I vowed never to read
another review, but 98?Copy !req
354. Wow!Copy !req
355. Ninety-fucking-eight!Copy !req
356. Um,Copy !req
357. I just...Copy !req
358. I just want to thank...Copy !req
359. all the incredible peopleCopy !req
360. in my life who
got me here.Copy !req
361. Um, my, my, my, my, um...Copy !req
362. my teacher! Um, and mentor,Copy !req
363. um, Mr. Gene M. Cousineau,Copy !req
364. who, he taught me
to be fearless, and, um,Copy !req
365. my incredible agent,
um, Lindsay!Copy !req
366. Um, she-she has
been just a true—Copy !req
367. You've been a true fierce
advocate of my work.Copy !req
368. And, um, uh, to
my-my boyfriend, Barry.Copy !req
369. Thank you for being an amazing boyfriend.Copy !req
370. You support and sustain me,Copy !req
371. and I couldn't
do this without you,Copy !req
372. and I love you so much.
I love you so much.Copy !req
373. Um, who else?Copy !req
374. God! Oh my god,
I almost forgot to thank God.Copy !req
375. Thank you so much.Copy !req
376. And, um... Oh my god,
they're playing me off!Copy !req
377. I-I didn't think
they did that at premieres!Copy !req
378. He was in Fernando's house
when the bomb went off.Copy !req
379. - But he-he's alright.
- Oh my god. Oh my god!Copy !req
380. Oh, baby. Oh my god.Copy !req
381. Oh god... Shh...Copy !req
382. I got you. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
383. Barry, thank you.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
384. Come here. Come on. I got you.Copy !req
385. - You killed that.
- You killed that. We killed that!Copy !req
386. Oh my god, I need a drink.
Where is the bar in this place?Copy !req
387. Oh, that was amazing!
Oh my god!Copy !req
388. This woman was crying so hard,
I couldn't believe it.Copy !req
389. - She had to take out a pack of tissues, and her boyfriend...
- He's, um...Copy !req
390. I mean, I didn't expect that!
I knew people would like it,Copy !req
391. - but, I mean, come on—
- Sally, you're dating a violent guy.Copy !req
392. - What?
- Um...Copy !req
393. I'm sorry. Um...Copy !req
394. Um, B-Barry
is a violent guy, and...Copy !req
395. and the way he... he spoke to
you the other day was, like,Copy !req
396. awful. It was really scary.Copy !req
397. - He was in a mood.
- I just, um...Copy !req
398. That was just really bad.
That was really bad. And...Copy !req
399. I don't know. I just...Copy !req
400. You're just a really
amazing person,Copy !req
401. and...Copy !req
402. I don't wanna see
you get hurt, so...Copy !req
403. Oh my god, look, look.Copy !req
404. - Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you. You were wonderful.
- Hi... Such good work.Copy !req
405. Leo!Copy !req
406. I packed the car.
We gotta get going.Copy !req
407. Yeah, Dad,
just give us a second.Copy !req
408. We got to get Gordon's shoes on.Copy !req
409. Please...Copy !req
410. Don't hurt them.Copy !req
411. I'm sorry I took you hostage.Copy !req
412. And to make up for it...Copy !req
413. I took a job.
That money's Leo's.Copy !req
414. - Where did you get it?
- Don't worry about it. It's yours. Take it.Copy !req
415. And after today,Copy !req
416. you never have to see me again.Copy !req
417. So, my family is safe?Copy !req
418. - Thanks for everything, Mr. Cousineau.
- Leo: Dad!Copy !req
419. Where'd you get that?Copy !req
420. Leo...Copy !req
421. we're going to, uh...Copy !req
422. stay right here in Los Angeles.Copy !req
423. - It was kind of crazy.
- It was crazy. I didn't know—Copy !req
424. Oh, yeah. Okay.Copy !req
425. - I'll call you later. I'll call you.
- You were great.Copy !req
426. - Thank you.
- Yeah.Copy !req
427. Hey.Copy !req
428. I missed it.Copy !req
429. - Yeah, you did.
- Fuck. I'm sorry.Copy !req
430. - You look great. How did it go?
- Thanks.Copy !req
431. Honestly...Copy !req
432. It was...Copy !req
433. the greatest night of my life.Copy !req
434. - That's great.
- Mm.Copy !req
435. Hey, I'm sorry.Copy !req
436. Barry, we're done.Copy !req
437. What, because I missed
the premiere?Copy !req
438. The way you yelled at meCopy !req
439. the other day at the office,Copy !req
440. I...Copy !req
441. it sent me to a place
I never want to go again.Copy !req
442. This relationship
isn't good for me.Copy !req
443. Wait, are you serious?
I had a bad day.Copy !req
444. What, I can't have a bad day?Copy !req
445. I'm gonna stay at Natalie's,Copy !req
446. - so I need you to go to the apartment...
- No. No.Copy !req
447. - ... and pack up your stuff and move out.
- No. No, no, no. No. Hey.Copy !req
448. S-Sally! Sally!Copy !req
449. I can't believe
we're doing this.Copy !req
450. I know.Copy !req
451. But, you know,
it's like the guy said.Copy !req
452. The cops aren't
doing anything, Mom.Copy !req
453. It's just...Copy !req
454. I don't-I don't see
any other way.Copy !req
455. I just never thought
I was this kind of person.Copy !req
456. Th-this will bring us peace.Copy !req
457. Do you promise?Copy !req
458. I promise, Mom.Copy !req
459. And-and...Copy !req
460. I-I can do this alone, okay?Copy !req
461. It's gotta be both of us.Copy !req
462. Yeah, I think we'll
take the Glock.Copy !req
463. Sweet.Copy !req