Barry 2x5

Directed by Bill Hader

Daniel Bernhardt as Ronny Proxin • Jessie Giacomazzi as Lily Proxin • John Pirruccello as Detective John Loach • Duffy Gaver as Main Officer • Danny Wynands as Cop #1

An encounter that Barry never could have predicted has surprising effects.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Hey Barry! - Get him here.

2. - That's what that says? - Get. Him. Here.

3. That scene was bullshit, Sally.

4. Look, I'll change your name, okay?

5. How about you just grow up and don't do it?

6. Do you think I'm a bad person, Mr. Cousineau?

7. You did a terrible thing, but do I think that defines you?

8. No.

9. We're gonna work through this. Now, I bill my private classes,

10. so I'm just going to go and get that ledger.

11. I got you, Berkman. Hey Fuches, why don't you give us a moment?

12. (WHISPERS) That's Ronnie Proxin, he's doing my wife.

13. If you get rid of him, all of this goes away.

14. What?

15. Don't freak out. Don't freak out.

16. I've been sent here

17. by Detective John Loach to kill you.

18. I'm not gonna do that.

19. Your name's Ronny Proxin, right?

20. - Uh-huh. - Oh, good. That would've been weird. Um...

21. And you're dating Diana, Loach's ex-wife?

22. - Uh-huh. - Okay, well. Go Diana.

23. Um, do you have family out of state?

24. - Uh-huh. - Do you mind me asking where?

25. - Chicago. - Chicago. I love Chicago.

26. Okay, so I have a car out there.

27. I want you to drive to Chicago,

28. and I need you to stay there for about a year.

29. - (groans) - Now, I'm gonna send you money. I'm gonna send you money.

30. It's just that the guy that controls my money—

31. We're in a really weird place right now, okay?

32. And, uh, he's actually...

33. He's actually, uh...

34. He's out there right now in the car.

35. And, um, he thinks I'm in here killing you.

36. I'm not. I'm calling an audible right now.

37. I'm just letting you know, when we get out there,

38. he might seem a little confused

39. and you might see us argue.

40. Just so you know, I got it under wraps, all right?

41. Do you have a suitcase?

42. Hey, whose tae kwon do trophies are these?

43. Right on.

44. Right on. Well...

45. Good for you, man.

46. I'm sure they got tae kwon do in Chicago, so you—

47. Whoa, look at that. You got medals, too. Shit.

48. Wow.

49. Trophies and medals for tae kwon do.

50. Sweet.

51. Uh...

52. Could I get my stuff from the bathroom?

53. Yeah, oh, yeah. You'll need that.

54. Yeah. No worries.

55. Yeah, man, the, uh... drive to Chicago from LA, that can be pretty long.

56. Sometimes I do Google Maps and Waze at the same time.

57. It's kind of a little fun game to see which one's—

58. Yeah, hello?

59. (panting): All right, man...

60. All right, we good?

61. - (gasping) - Listen...

62. We good? No?

63. No, Ronny! Ronny!

64. Ronny, no!

65. Okay, dude...

66. - Barry: No! Aah! Ronny! - (glass clattering)

67. No. No...

68. Listen, man...

69. Aw, fuck!

70. - Aah! (grunts) - (Barry groans)

71. Hmm.

72. All right, Ronny...

73. Ronny, you're hurt, man.

74. Your windpipe's broke.

75. Your windpipe's busted, man.

76. - (wheezing) - See?

77. See, your windpipe's busted.

78. - No, no, no, no! Aah! - (wheezing)

79. Aah! Ronny! Aah!

80. Ronny?

81. Oh fuck!

82. Fuck.

83. Dad?

84. Dad?

85. Little girl?

86. Little girl?

87. I know this looks bad.

88. Hey, um...

89. I'm gonna take you to Chicago.

90. To see your relatives?

91. Girl?

92. Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you.

93. Little gir—

94. Oh no.

95. Oh no. Shit.

96. Wh—wha—?

97. I thought you were a dog.

98. - (roaring) - Aah! Shit!

99. Get off me! Get— Get off me!

100. Get off!

101. Sorry. I'm sorry.

102. Honey? Honey, are you okay?

103. - Hey, where are you? Ow! - (grunting)

104. - (glass shattering) - Barry: Great. Come here.

105. - Oww! - (pans clattering)

106. Okay, listen. How about this—

107. - (roars) - Oh!

108. - (girl grunts) - Barry: Shit!

109. (whispers): Okay. Okay.

110. Okay.

111. Aw, shit.

112. - (snarling) - Shit.

113. Shit!

114. - Aah, shit. - (growling)

115. (whispering): What the fuck?

116. Aiyee!

117. Okay.

118. Aah, shit.

119. Shit.

120. - Aah. - (engine starts)

121. (mutters): Come on.

122. - Okay. You do it? - (groans) Yes!

123. - Is he dead? Yeah. - Just drive.

124. - What the hell happened, huh? - I'm cut really bad, Fuches.

125. - I'm trying not to freak out. - Fine, fine. But he's dead, right?

126. - Barry, is Ronny dead? - Yes.

127. Yes! (laughs) I know you're hurt,

128. but, fuck yeah, baby! We're off the hook.

129. - I'll call Loach, let him know. - No, I need to go to a hospital.

130. (laughing): Okay, okay.

131. But, I mean, we're free baby!

132. - I was so worried about you! - Fuches, Fuches. I'm in bad shape.

133. I really need to go to a hospital.

134. Okay! Yeah, I'll take you to a hospital.

135. No, I won't take you to a hospital. Too many questions.

136. We'll go to this drugstore here.

137. - I need stitches, Fuches. - I can do stitches!

138. Yeah, right here. Here we go.

139. If you're gonna do stitches,

140. - I'm gonna need a needle and thread. - Uh-huh.

141. - And maybe, you know, something to disinfect it. - I got it! Yeah.

142. Got it, got it. No worries.

143. No worries. Needle and thread.

144. - Barry: Right. - Fuches: I'm gonna pull up right here.

145. Just a sec, and... there we go.

146. How's that?

147. - What'd you want me to get? - Barry: Needle and thread!

148. - Okay. I understand. - Barry: For stitches!

149. - Because I'm dying! - Yeah, needle and thread.

150. I'll get one of those little hotel ones, you know.

151. Already have the needle in it, right?

152. I'm gonna get a Red Bull, some, uh,

153. I don't know, some Corn Nuts. You want anything?

154. - Barry: No. - All right, all right.

155. All right, um, nope.

156. Um, yep, yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

157. - Hello? - Is it done?

158. Listen, Loach. I'm bleeding really bad man.

159. Is it done?

160. (whispers): Fuck you.

161. There it is.

162. Ah, there you are.

163. Let's take a look. See what they did to you.

164. Here, scooch forward. There you go.

165. Pull it up, come on. There you go.

166. Oh, Jesus!

167. What'd he do? Hit you with a fucking cleaver?

168. It wasn't Ronny.

169. What do you mean it wasn't Ronny?

170. No, it was his daughter.

171. I think he... he trains her or something,

172. 'cause she was like a... like a feral mongoose.

173. I get it.

174. I know you don't want to do this work anymore, Barry.

175. I mean, killing a man, I understand that.

176. That's kind of why we're put on this Earth.

177. We're the strong, the disposable.

178. But killing a child? Jesus.

179. Barry, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

180. Well, if you weren't fucked up before, you are now.

181. I didn't kill her.

182. What?

183. She attacked me and ran away.

184. - We gotta go kill her. - What?

185. Yeah, we gotta kill her right now.

186. - Wait, what do you mean? - We gotta fucking—

187. - I need that! - She can identify you, fucker!

188. - Jesus Christ, we're going now. - What do you mean we're going now?

189. - We're going right now. - Go where?

190. We have to go find her! You can kill her!

191. We go find her, you fucking kill her.

192. She could be anywhere. What do you mean go find her?

193. - Here we go. - I'm dying, Fuches!

194. - I'm fucking dying! - You're fine!

195. - What do you mean I'm fine? - You're fine, you're fine!

196. - We gotta go right fucking now! - I gotta go to a hospital!

197. - Fuches: Is that her? - It's a trash can!

198. - Fuches: Not her! - You gotta chill out!

199. I'm gonna find her! Is that her?

200. I'm not a child.

201. - There she is! - (tires screeching)

202. Go get her, Barry!

203. - I'm not killing a kid, Fuches. - (Fuches sighs)

204. Plus, I don't...

205. I don't think she's of this world.

206. "Of this world?" Jesus. You don't wanna do it, fine.

207. I'll get her off the curb and I'll get her in the car.

208. No, don't go out there. Fuches, don't go out there.

209. - Fuches! - I got it.

210. I gotcha.

211. Hi there, girl. (laughs)

212. Good girl!

213. Hey, I don't wanna sound like a creep,

214. but you wanna get in the car with me and my friend?

215. I got Corn Nuts. See, right here.

216. They look like they— No, no, no, no!

217. Don't go run away! Don't—

218. I'm a nice guy! Wha—

219. - Okay, she's not human. - That's what I said, man.

220. - She's something else. I don't know what. - That's what I told you, dude.

221. What do you want to do then, huh?

222. I mean, in an ideal world, we just burn down the house.

223. Oh, I know. You know what?

224. We had a skunk in the basement once.

225. What we did was, we took this fire extinguisher.

226. We were gonna hit it, obviously, on the head...

227. All right, that's good.

228. All right. Buddy. Buddy, wake up.

229. Wake up. Hey! Hi.

230. I stitched you up. You're all good.

231. (groans) It hurts.

232. I know, I know, but you should be good to go up on the roof.

233. She's still up there.

234. - Barry: Oh, that's freaky. - Fuches: Yeah.

235. Looks like a little gargoyle up there.

236. Ow! My God, what'd you do?

237. Huh? I'll take a look. Hang on, hang on.

238. Okay.

239. Just pull it up real slow.

240. - Ow! - Real slow.

241. Oh. That... looks good to me.

242. Oh, that's— that looks really good, yeah.

243. - Oh, shit. You broke the stitches! - (groans) What?

244. I got something here that will—

245. - Aah! - Oh, okay.

246. - Hang on, I got something right here. - Fuck.

247. Yep, yep. It's gonna help you, it's gonna feel really good.

248. It's gonna be a little cold, but there you go.

249. - Oh! Aah! What is that? - Yeah. Yeah, it's super glue.

250. - Super glue? - There you go.

251. - I'm filling up the hole. - (Barry screaming)

252. - There it is. It's perfect! - Shit!

253. That's nice. Okay, here we go.

254. - Here we go. - Oh.

255. That's it.

256. - Don't touch me there. - Okay, okay. I'm good.

257. - (groaning) Fuck! - Good. Okay?

258. - You good? - No!

259. Okay. Now...

260. Up you go.

261. Fuck you! I'm not killing her, man!

262. What do you want me to do about it?

263. I could call Hank. He could send over one of the Chechens

264. with a scope rifle or something.

265. We could plink her right off the roof.

266. - That's all I can do. - Oh, no, man. Those guys can't hit shit.

267. I've been training them for weeks.

268. I'm sorry, what? You—

269. You've been training— Wait a minute.

270. Wait a minute.

271. You've been doing contract work without me?

272. - You're fucking cutting me out? - Oh, will you fucking relax, man?

273. It was a one-time deal, all right?

274. Hank has a heroin shipment going through a monastery.

275. He needs an army. I'm training his guys.

276. - I do that and then I'm done, okay? - (laughing)

277. You're gonna walk away from an army and heroin?

278. I don't think so! Uh-uh. I'm gonna call Hank,

279. - we're gonna set the whole thing up. - (thuds overhead)

280. - It's her! - Wait.

281. - Hold on! - Wait, wait, wait!

282. - You heard that, right? - You sure you heard something?

283. - I didn't hear anything. - I heard something, I swear to God.

284. I didn't see anything fall off the roof.

285. I didn't either.

286. There had to be something there.

287. Maybe it was an acorn.

288. I heard something. I'm not a moron.

289. - (growls) - Aah!

290. - Oh! - (girl growling)

291. Barry.

292. Kill her.

293. (whispers): Just take her off your face.

294. - I can't. - Why?

295. Because I super-glued my hands to the steering wheel.

296. Oh shit.

297. Listen, how about just very slowly shake your head?

298. - You know, just kind of... - (girl growling)

299. I don't feel comfortable doing that.

300. Oh, oh! Easy, girl, easy!

301. Ooh, who's a good girl? Who's a good girl?

302. Easy, girl, easy. That's good, that's good.

303. (quietly): Barry, get your gun

304. and shoot her off my face.

305. I'm telling you, man, I can't do that.

306. Now is not the time to grow a heart, dipshit!

307. - (Fuches screaming) - Shit!

308. What are you?

309. I don't care. Just anything.

310. Paint thinner, nail polish remover. I don't give a fuck!

311. - Did you hear me? - Yes, I'll see what they have.

312. - Fucking go! - All right.

313. I can't get stuck in this shit all night. Go!

314. - All right, just relax. - Go!

315. Jesus!

316. Ronny?

317. Hey, man!

318. (whispers): Hey, I'm... I'm the guy that was in your house.

319. Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot, okay?

320. Your daughter's fine, and—

321. Ronny, come on, man. Don't be an asshole.

322. What, am I gonna fight you in the fucking store?

323. Hey! Ronny.

324. Just relax, okay?

325. - Chill. Calm down. - Hey, hey, hey! Come on, guys!

326. - Hiyah! - (grunts)

327. Fucking hell.

328. Listen, Ronny. People are running out of the store.

329. You're causing a scene.

330. Listen to me, man.

331. They're calling the cops.

332. Chill the fuck out, all right?

333. Listen, the Chicago deal is still on the table.

334. I got a guy out there, he's literally glued to the car.

335. - He— Ronny. - (Ronny yelling)

336. Ronny!

337. Ronny, clearly you're not—

338. You're not at a hundred percent, all right? Just—

339. Your throat's broken, you're stoned.

340. What the fuck is that?

341. - What? - Man: Hurry, hurry!

342. Barry, you fucking idiot!

343. What— Aah!

344. God, I gotta go!

345. - Aah! - (tires squealing)

346. - (siren blares) - Shit!

347. - (police radio chattering) - Fuck!

348. - Come on! - (tires squeal)

349. - (grunting) - Hey!

350. All right, all right. You want this?

351. Fuck you! (grunts)

352. Come on, man.

353. Fuck.

354. Get the f—

355. Get off me!

356. Ronny, listen, man.

357. Listen, let me just go out the back.

358. Loach...

359. - Sir, drop your weapon! - What are you doing?

360. I said drop your weapon!

361. - Shit. - Stop!

362. - I said stop! - Shit, what the fuck are you doing?

363. - Loach! Jesus Christ! - (Ronny grunts)

364. Shots fired! Shots fired!

365. - Go in. - (indistinct radio chatter)

366. - Officer: That was him? - Officer 2: Yeah. Clear.

367. He's dead.

368. Got two down.

369. - (siren blares) - Shit.

370. (panting): Fuck me. Fuck.

371. Barry, what the fuck are you doing? Get in the car!

372. Barry, buddy, we have to go!

373. Akhmal, I'm getting your stuff, okay?

374. Esther and her men are moving back to monastery.

375. They're leaving us?

376. Oh no.

377. I can barely talk about this stuff with you.

378. How am I supposed to get up there

379. and just say all of this in front of them?

380. I mean, what if they judge me?

381. I think if you can tell the truth... you should.

382. I can't work with you anymore, man.

383. Oh, Jesus Christ! Not this thing again.

384. Why? Why? What have I done?

385. Name me one thing I've done.

386. You wore a wire.

387. I wore a what?