Atlanta 4x9

Directed by Hiro Murai

They always making Paper Boi go through something.

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1. Got-dang! Whoo!

2. Yeah, all right.

3. Okay.

4. My favorite.

5. That's real nice.

6. You find everything okay today, big fella?

7. Actually, man, no.

8. Uh, do y'all sell, uh, cast-iron skillets here?

9. Well, if you don't see any on the shelf,

10. then we don't have 'em in stock.

11. But I'll check, just to be sure.

12. All right.

13. Uh, do y'all sell, uh, animal repellant here?

14. Did you see it on the shelf?

15. Nope.

16. No, we don't have any s...

17. Nope, we don't have any skillets in stock,

18. but, um, I can order one in for you.

19. Be here in a couple weeks.

20. No, man, that's... It's all good, man.

21. I'll just get it somewhere else.

22. I appreciate it, though.

23. You're just gonna order it on Amazon, aren't you?

24. No, man. No.

25. Oh, shit.

26. Shit.

27. Hey, guys. It's your boy, "These Backhoes Ain't Loyal."

28. Thanks for coming out to my channel today.

29. If you want to see more backhoe tractor content,

30. make sure you hit that "subscribe" button.

31. Ah, shit.

32. You can even give this video a thumbs-up.

33. So, what we're gonna do today is we're gonna get

34. down and dirty...

35. and we're gonna change the oil in this tractor.

36. But before I get under this hoe...

37. - ... we're gonna make sure that all the wheels are secure. - God...

38. But I've done told you, these backhoes ain't loyal.

39. They'll roll over you in a second.

40. I'm serious, dudes.

41. I lost two uncles this way.

42. Oh, shit, shit, shit!

43. Shit.

44. Oh, shit!

45. Hello?

46. Hey!

47. Whatever's in there, you better squawk or chirp

48. or sing a fucking song

49. with your little furry friends or something.

50. Boo, motherfuck...

51. Oh, goddamn, man.

52. Get...

53. Oh, goddamn!

54. Shit!

55. Hmm.

56. Oh, God.

57. Go.

58. - Go back just one. - Go back one?

59. Yeah.

60. Oh, boy, this is bad.

61. You got feral hogs.

62. - Okay. - Yeah.

63. So, what I need, hog repellant or something?

64. No, not as simple as that. Here, give me that.

65. Let's see.

66. Yeah. Shit, you can thank the explorer Hernando de Soto

67. for this bullshit.

68. Were the turds wet or dry?

69. I do not know.

70. Well, did they crumble in your hand?

71. Can you just tell me how to get rid

72. of these damn things, please, man?

73. I don't want to stand here all day

74. talking to you about dookie and shit.

75. All right, well, uh, clearly, they're coming after

76. whatever it is you're growing.

77. Now, I-I can't make it out from that photo,

78. so what kind of crops are these?

79. Corn.

80. - Oh. Yeah. - Yeah, man, lots of... lots of corn.

81. Oh, they love that stuff. They love that stuff.

82. Um... okay.

83. Here's what I'd do if I were you.

84. You take a bunch of that corn, right?

85. Set it out in an open area.

86. Now, soon as that dirty hog shows up

87. and starts chowing down on it,

88. you line up your shot, take it out.

89. - Okay. - All right.

90. Now, if he starts to run, you aim for the nose

91. and you don't stop firing till that fucker goes down.

92. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, then you move in close.

93. - Head shot. - Okay.

94. - Yeah. - Right.

95. Uh, can I just poison it or something, man?

96. I don't think you understand.

97. This is serious.

98. Now, these things,

99. they ain't no bedtime story animals, you know?

100. I mean, they don't deserve no sympathy.

101. They are aggressive, they are invasive,

102. and they will not stop

103. until they destroy everything you have.

104. You got to kill them before they kill you.

105. What?

106. Before they kill me? Okay.

107. The hogs?

108. A pack of hogs killed a woman in Texas about a year ago.

109. Just outside of Houston.

110. Chewed her ass up.

111. Okay.

112. All right, but this isn't funny.

113. No, man, yeah, it is, man. Bedtime story animal.

114. All right, guys, now that we gt

115. all that old, dirty oil out of there,

116. I'm gonna show you what some fresh, new,

117. healthy oil looks like here.

118. And this is where it goes.

119. Now, check back next week,

120. and I'm gonna show you how to replace a carburetor.

121. Thank you, guys, for stopping by.

122. Make sure you hit that "subscribe" button.

123. Okay, baby.

124. Let's do this, mama. Let's go. Come on.

125. Come on, baby, come on.

126. Oh, shit.

127. All right, let's see.

128. All right.

129. Oh, fuck!

130. Come on, man. Come on, man.

131. God!

132. All right, man. All right.

133. All right.

134. All right, man, all right.

135. All right.

136. All right, man, come on.

137. How big is this motherfuck...

138. Fuck!

139. Okay.

140. All right, baby.

141. Yep.

142. Yeah.

143. I'm gonna avenge you.

144. I promise.

145. Gonna roast this motherfucker.

146. Dinner's served, motherfucker.

147. Come and get it.

148. If the chicks don't feed

149. within 36 hours, they'll starv.

150. Incredibly, it survives.

151. But it's stunned.

152. Oh, shit!

153. Oh, come on, mama. Let's do it.

154. Whoo!

155. Yeah, baby!

156. Whoo!

157. Yeah, mother...

158. That's what I'm talking about!

159. All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, okay.

160. Okay, okay.

161. Okay. Okay. Push down.

162. Okay. All right, o-okay.

163. Come on, baby. Oh...

164. Yeah, man.

165. Whoo!

166. Oh, we outside!

167. Oh!

168. Oh, shit!

169. Oh, shit.

170. All right.

171. Shit.

172. Goddamn.

173. Oh, shit!

174. Oh, sh...

175. Ah, shit!

176. Oh, fu...

177. Oh, shit!

178. Fu...

179. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

180. Oh, shit.

181. Oh, shit.

182. God.

183. Oh, thank God.

184. Hey!

185. Hey! Hey!

186. Oh, come on, bitch, I know you see me.

187. Hey, hey, hey!

188. Shit!

189. Help me!

190. Hey!

191. Hey, fuck! Help!

192. Hey, help me!

193. Hey, shit! Help!

194. Help. Help me, plea...

195. Help.

196. Fucking help.

197. Oh, bitch, fucking please.

198. Oh, shit!

199. Fuck! What the fuck?

200. Fuck off!

201. Get the fuck off me!

202. Fucking...

203. Shit!

204. Motherfucker, die! Motherfucker, die!

205. Let go!

206. Fucking die!

207. Get the fuck off me.

208. Yo. Hey, hey.

209. What's up, man?

210. Chillin', man. Chillin'.

211. Yeah, I hope so. I hope so.

212. - What's up? You need something? - It's in my email, okay?

213. Yeah, um, the lawyer sent over that contract. It looks okay.

214. I still have some questions about the dates, though.

215. Oh.

216. We'll get it sorted. Don't worry.

217. How is it out there? Is it boring?

218. Yeah. Yeah.

219. You-you sound tired, man.

220. Nah, man. Nah, man.

221. I'm straight. I'm good. I'm straight.

222. Just send it to me. Send it to my email,

223. and my assistant will worry about it, okay?

224. Thank you so much.

225. Hey, look, can I call you back tomorrow, bruh?

226. Uh, yeah, yeah. You good?

227. Mm-hmm.

228. All right, man. I-I'll talk to you tomorrow.

229. - All right. Peace. - Peace.

230. Yo.

231. What's up?

232. What's up, man?

233. Are you eating bacon and drinking whiskey?

234. Hibiki, bro.

235. Cheers, nigga.

236. Breakfast of champion.

237. Yo, man, it's the farm life.

238. Yeah, what was going on yesterday?

239. What were you doing?

240. What happened to your face?

241. I don't know, man, it's just...

242. Hey, I was out there with that tractor.

243. I got that up and running, right?

244. And, um, just did some shooting.

245. You know. This-this ain't nothing.

246. Look, man, I know this is your safe farm and all that,

247. but you got to be careful out there, okay?

248. Farms are dangerous as fuck.

249. Okay, and you're over there by yourself, too, man.

250. If something happens to you, you fall on a rake headfirst,

251. no one's gonna know it for like weeks.

252. Message received, bruh.

253. You know, the whole point of this farm is to have options.

254. If you don't like it, you don't have to keep it, you know.

255. You can go back to the city.

256. At-Atlanta's not going anywher, you know.

257. It's all good, man.

258. It's pretty much slow motion around here.

259. Yeah. Ain't got to worry about me.

260. Only thing I need to worry about is this damn neck, man.

261. Every time I move it, it feels like

262. I'm on pins and needles and shit.

263. Were you outside for a long time yesterday?

264. Yeah.

265. Yeah, I think y-you're sunburn.

266. No, no.

267. Yes.

268. You ever been sunburned before?

269. Nigga, look at me. Do I look like...

270. Hell no, I ain't been sunburned.

271. Black people can't get sunburned.

272. What you talking about?

273. Yes, yes, they can.

274. White people can get ashy.

275. Black people can get sunburned. It's-it's a fact.

276. So, you telling me Wesley Snipes can get sunburned?

277. Yes, Wesley Snipes can get sunburned.

278. Okay, all right, what about... what's...

279. uh, what's-his-name... uh, "Kiss from a Rose"?

280. He can get sunburned, too?

281. Yes. Yes, Seal can get...

282. Dark niggas can get sunburned, bruh.

283. I don't know, man. All right, hold up.

284. What about Captain Phillips? Come on.

285. - I'm gonna assume you mean the Somalian pirate... - Yeah.

286. - ... not Tom Hanks. - Yeah. Yeah.

287. And it doesn't matter, 'cause they can both get sunburned.

288. Nigga, I would... Who-who's going to be a pirate on the sea

289. under the sun the whole day if they can get sunburned?

290. I know this shit ain't true, man. It's just not true.

291. Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH