1. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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2. and NICKELODEON]
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3. Okay, okay,
there's no need to panic.
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4. This is just a routine drill.
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5. Just routine.
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6. This is just a drill, right?
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7. Bullhorn op.
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8. Out of the way, Zorski.
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9. People, I have
just been informed
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10. there is not an actual fire.
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11. Thank you, Mr. Zipper.
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12. Nevertheless, we will continue
to proceed with the drill.
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13. Repeat, proceed with the drill.
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14. Oh, Ginger...
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15. Step back a sec.
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16. I've been meaning
to thank you
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17. for not telling
Mrs. Zorski
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18. that I filed
that anonymous
fashion complaint
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19. about her wearing
last year's styles.
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20. Seriously, how can
anyone be expected
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21. to learn under
those circumstances?
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22. I hear you...
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23. Oh, I just love fire drills,
don't you, Miranda?
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24. It gives you a good chance
to catch up on the gossip.
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25. Last fire drill
I found out...
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26. Are you speaking
to me?
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27. Looks like
Courtney and Ginger
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28. are swapping
the latest scoop.
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29. Know any good scandal?
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30. Like I'd tell you
the time.
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31. Oh, no offense taken.
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32. I'm sure Ginger
will fill me in later.
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33. She's my best friend,
after all.
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34. Do you really
think so, Dodie?
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35. Of course I think so.
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36. I've had that position
since pre-kindergarten.
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37. Well, looks
like Courtney
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38. is Ginger's
best friend now.
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39. I need two volunteers
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40. to demonstrate the correct usage
of the fire hose.
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41. Any takers?
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42. No? What a surprise.
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43. We'll volunteer,
Principal Milty.
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44. Uh, Courtney,
are you sure
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45. you want to
do this?
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46. Of course.
It will be fun.
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47. Looks like
best friend
behavior to me.
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48. It's just temporary bonding
over their fire drill duties.
Happens.
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49. Wake up and smell
the second string.
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50. You've been replaced.
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51. I know everything
about Ginger
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52. starting with her love
of smiley-faced pajamas
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53. and ending
with her irrational
fear of the tooth fairy.
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54. Right...
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55. I think she mentioned those
to Courtney.
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56. Well... Courtney
certainly doesn't know
about Frizzy Lizzies
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57. Ginger's deepest,
darkest secret,
does she?
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58. Well?
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59. Did I hear
"Frizzy Lizzy" just now?
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60. But Ginger would never
tell anyone else
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61. about her
red-hairy legs
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62. that her mom won't
let her shave.
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63. Fire drills are great
for gossip.
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64. Carl, I have timed
exactly how long
it takes
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65. to walk
to the teacher's
supply closet
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66. locate a box of chalk
and walk back.
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67. No side trips,
young man.
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68. Whatever you say,
Mrs. Gordon.
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69. Ooh...
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70. Hmm?
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71. Oh!
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72. Is that you,
Mr. Libby?
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73. What are you doing
in the hallway, Carl?
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74. Chalk run.
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75. So tell me, when did your
male pattern baldness strike?
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76. 'Cause yesterday you had
a rather full head of hair, no?
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77. On your way, Foutley.
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78. Fine. But I'm sensing denial,
Mr. I.
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79. I know people.
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80. Call if you need me.
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81. Interesting.
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82. Did you hear that?
What?
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83. The sound of the world
as you know it coming
to a screeching halt.
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84. What are you talking about?
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85. Oh...
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86. It's a secret.
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87. Yours, in fact.
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88. And if you don't do
exactly as I say
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89. I'll reveal your
deepest, hairiest secret
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90. to the whole school.
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91. You can't... you don't...
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92. Oh, but I do.
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93. And no one else
needs to know
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94. about this embarrassing
little problem of yours
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95. as long as you...
stay away from Courtney!
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96. But Miranda...
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97. I'm calling the shots
from now on, Foutley.
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98. Aw, I'm disappointed.
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99. I thought 100% synthetic
would feel more... synthetic.
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100. Hey, Carl, you should
see yourself.
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101. You look all...
freaky and twisted.
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102. Really?
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103. Aah!
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104. I don't know what
just came over me now.
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105. I felt positively... wolfen.
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106. Stop it, Carl!
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107. I'm going to have
nightmares!
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108. Carl is no more.
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109. I am Wolf Boy.
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110. Yield to my power!
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111. Well, what about me?
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112. What about my power?
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113. No time.
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114. I feel a full moon
rising.
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115. Grarr...
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116. You guys...
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117. Miranda's totally bluffing,
right?
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118. You two are
the only ones
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119. who know about
my Frizzy Lizzies
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120. and you'd never tell.
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121. Only under threat of torture.
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122. Oh...!
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123. All right, all right,
I can't take it anymore!
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124. I did it!
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125. I told Miranda
how you can't shave
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126. your awful, red-hairy legs!
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127. Oh...!
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128. You traitor.
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129. It was
a total accident.
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130. Miranda said Courtney
was your best friend
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131. and she just got me
so flustered
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132. it slipped out.
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133. Dodie... how could you?
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134. I didn't mean to.
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135. I'm so sorry.
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136. Oh...
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137. Well, at least
you didn't mention
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138. her love for
smiley-face pajamas
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139. or that whole
tooth fairy thing.
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140. Oh...
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141. Oh... oh, yeah.
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142. Do you find that hump
on your little toe irritating?
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143. Not as irritating
as receiving visitors
during my foot bath.
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144. Carl, what are you
up to?
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145. Medical research,
perfectly routine.
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146. No ripping
any more pages.
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147. I'm missing
the whole chapter
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148. on leech therapy.
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149. Uh-oh.
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150. There's got to be something
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151. on that hairy disease.
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152. Jeez, Mrs. Foutley
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153. you could capsize a boat
in that thing.
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154. Thanks for your concern.
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155. Now take your apple.
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156. Success!
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157. Mmm... eucalyptus with
a hint of adhesive corn pad.
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158. Might have to market these.
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159. Uh-uh... one dip
per foot bath.
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160. May I present
the Unicorn razor.
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161. My mom swears by these.
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162. Uh, why...
is it extra sharp
or something?
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163. Oh, I doubt it.
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164. It's called
"the young woman's choice."
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165. It's her only choice since
you spilt the beans, sister.
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166. Ginger, I got you
into this
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167. and I'm going to make you
get yourself out of this.
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168. Macie, shaving cream.
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169. JoAnn
Ginger!
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170. Your mother
wants you home!
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171. Oh...
thanks, Mrs. Bishop.
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172. Got to go.
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173. But your reputation's
at stake!
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174. Not to mention
you have foam
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175. seeping through
your pants leg.
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176. I know, I know.
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177. I'll deal with it
later, guys. Bye.
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178. Mother, they're predicting
a cold snap tonight.
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179. Do you think you could pick up
some fresh hay for my den?
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180. Carl, your grandmother
went arthritic
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181. knitting you that afghan.
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182. You're going to use it.
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183. When you grow up,
you can sleep in hay.
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184. I go by "Wolf Boy" now.
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185. Thanks in advance.
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186. Sorry, Mr. Boy.
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187. Can you believe
this kid?
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188. One day he's got
a relatively clean face
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189. the next it's
covered with hair.
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190. What? Hair?
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191. Now, as my sister,
we're in the same pack
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192. but I insist on
being the alpha wolf.
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193. Oh...
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194. Uh... is Miranda
out there?
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195. Are we
positively certain
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196. that Miranda is waiting
for Ginger?
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197. Steve, you seen
Ginger anywhere?
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198. Steve?
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199. I'm Gregg
with three g's.
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200. So you know.
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201. I'll make a note,
Gregg with three g's.
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202. Seen Ginger with two?
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203. I think you should
move to Paris.
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204. It's a known fact that French
women don't shave their legs.
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205. Forget it.
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206. I'm not moving to France.
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207. Huh?
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208. What's going on?
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209. Darren, do me a solid.
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210. Can you tell Miranda
I'm out sick today?
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211. Wow... what's Miranda
got on you?
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212. I can't tell you,
but I swear it's big.
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213. Please help me.
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214. Done deal.
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215. I can't hide under stairwells
the rest of my life.
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216. Actually, with a generous
ration of canned goods
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217. and a space blanket
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218. you might make it.
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219. Step right up!
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220. The legend is true!
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221. Come see—
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222. but don't touch—
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223. the amazing Wolf Boy!
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224. Back! This is a wild animal!
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225. No one must feed, pet
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226. nor aggravate ye Wolf Boy
in any way!
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227. And that means you, Higsby.
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228. I just thought he'd like
my veggie burger.
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229. Wolf Boy is a carnivorous beast!
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230. It tastes
just like meat.
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231. Even my dad
was fooled.
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232. Son, feed him that
and you're as good
as road kill.
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233. Stand back!
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234. Behold... Wolf Boy!
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235. Before your very eyes
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236. is none other than our former
fun-loving friend Carl Foutley.
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237. His freak family gene
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238. has transformed him
into part-boy, part-wolf.
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239. I warned you,
Higsby!
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240. I warned you!
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241. Mom, can we discuss
my legs?
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242. Sure.
They're cute, shapely...
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243. remind me of my own
as a girl.
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244. I meant shaving my legs.
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245. Oh... well, let me
answer your query
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246. with a story of a girl
much like yourself.
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247. She shaved her legs
behind her mother's back.
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248. One thing
led to another
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249. and she lost
her hearing
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250. at an
amusement park.
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251. And her only horse?
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252. Stolen by rodeo clowns.
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253. Uh, I don't even
have a horse.
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254. Exactly.
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255. Let's keep it
that way, shall we?
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256. I promise
to be careful.
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257. Out!
I'm talking to Mom.
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258. Mom, please.
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259. Ginger,
no on this one.
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260. Shaving your legs
is like...
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261. eating a bag
of pork rinds.
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262. Once you start,
you can't stop.
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263. Ah, the curs-ed Foutley gene.
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264. Has it appeared
on your knuckles yet?
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265. May I call you Wolf Girl?
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266. Don't you have a moon
to howl at?
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267. Mm-hmm... thinking like a wolf.
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268. Bay with me, Sis.
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269. I'm not moving to France, Macie.
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270. Well, you better do something,
because here comes Courtney.
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271. Oh...
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272. Hmm, I see you're all
having the special.
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273. Ginger, I haven't seen you since
our fire drill tour de force.
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274. What have you been up to?
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275. I've just been...
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276. Ginger, don't you need
to go to the library?
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277. No... I was just there.
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278. But what about your report
on Hairy Houdini?
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279. I... got to go, Courtney.
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280. But we haven't talked in ages.
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281. Better shake a leg.
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282. Uh... huh...
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283. Oh, Ginger, your legs will look
absolutely gorgeous
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284. after I pluck all those
pesky red hairs out. Promise.
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285. Can't we wait until
after dinner?
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286. I wouldn't.
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287. There are approximately
58 follicles
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288. per square inch on your leg
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289. so it will take Dodie six days
and three hours
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290. to pluck all 24,604 hairs.
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291. Give or take a hair.
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292. Seen my tweezers?
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293. Tweezers?
Don't know what
they look like.
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294. I could have sworn
I set them on the coffee table
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295. after I plucked that tick
off Wolf Boy. Hmm.
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296. Tick?
Gross.
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297. Oh, eww...
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298. Hmm.
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299. Ah, here to see Wolf Boy?
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300. I can offer you
a private viewing.
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301. Children.
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302. Okay, single file
behind me.
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303. No pushing or shoving.
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304. That just brings out
the animal in him.
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305. You have
my deepest sympathies.
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306. Is Ginger home?
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307. I'm Miranda,
her closest friend.
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308. Really?
Pleased to meet you.
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309. I've heard almost
nothing about you.
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310. It's a low-key
friendship.
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311. Ginger! Get down here!
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312. She'll be right...
hey, are those
my good tweezers?
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313. Carl...!
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314. Miranda...
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315. What are you
doing here?
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316. Cut the chit-chat,
Foutley.
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317. I have a book report due
tomorrow, so get started.
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318. You expect me to write
your book report?
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319. And bone up
on your pre-algebra
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320. 'cause I've got an
assignment for the weekend.
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321. But I've got homework of my own.
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322. Let me pretend I care.
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323. Okay, I'm done.
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324. But Miranda...
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325. I'll expect
the report tomorrow
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326. in the girls' bathroom
at lunch.
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327. Call of the Wild.
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328. I'll be up till midnight
reading this.
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329. I'll do what I can.
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330. Thanks, Darren.
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331. I owe you.
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332. Today's menu specials include
grilled bologna with pickles
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333. grilled hot dogs and macaroni
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334. or grilled lettuce
and mayo.
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335. And I do accept gum
as a form of payment.
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336. I got book reports,
forged hall passes
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337. answers to last year's
history final.
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338. Hey, got a report on
Call of the Wild?
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339. That's kind of heady,
cost you a fiver.
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340. Shh...
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341. Carl, why are dressed like that?
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342. Mrs. Gordon, he only answers
to Wolf Boy now
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343. due to the unfortunate and until
now recessive Foutley gene
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344. which suddenly make him grow
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345. wolf-like hair.
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346. Zip it, Robert.
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347. Carl, do you still have
the power of speech
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348. or has the wolf
got your tongue?
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349. Oh, uh, thanks for asking
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350. but my senses
are keener than ever.
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351. You might want to check
on my twice-baked potato
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352. you confiscated,
I believe last week.
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353. My heightened sense of smell
tells me it's rotting
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354. in your bottom left drawer.
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355. Mrs. Gordon,
I don't feel safe
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356. in your classroom
anymore.
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357. Wolf Boy is a menace
to society. A menace.
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358. Carl, take your wolf hide
down to the nurse's station.
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359. Let her figure out
what to do with you.
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360. You're smart to
make me go, Gordo.
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361. Who knows what havoc
I might wreak?
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362. Boys' bathroom material.
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363. I'm slightly impressed.
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364. But next time,
make it original.
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365. Here's my handwriting.
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366. Study and perfect it
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367. if you know
what's good for you.
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368. You know, I don't
approve of cheating.
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369. And no one approves
of hairy legs.
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370. If you get my point.
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371. Courtney...!
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372. Yes, yes, nice to see
you all, too.
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373. Now, would everyone
please clear out
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374. with the exception
of Ginger?
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375. Ginger, I can't help
but notice
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376. your indifference
towards me lately.
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377. I've just been so busy.
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378. Homework, book reports...
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379. Oh, well, if you're too busy,
I understand.
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380. But I'm just being honest
with you.
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381. Perhaps I need to rethink
this budding friendship.
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382. Miranda.
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383. Ladies...
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384. Move along,
Foutley.
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385. Stop staring at me that way.
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386. What's wrong
with you, boy?
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387. Nurse!
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388. Bring that back,
Carl Foutley!
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389. Okay, now, this is
supposed to be
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390. completely painless.
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391. Let's just get this over with
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392. and stop Miranda
before it's too late.
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393. Go on... paint me.
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394. You're the bravest girl
I've ever known.
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395. I won't forget you,
Ginger Foutley... ever.
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396. Stealing someone's toupee...
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397. It's more than theft, young man.
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398. You made that poor man
a laughingstock.
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399. Why, why, why?
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400. Mom, don't blame
yourself.
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401. I'm an animal.
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402. Besides, you should
have seen
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403. how fake
that thing looked.
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404. I did old Libby a favor.
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405. Oh! I'm not finished
with you yet.
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406. I love you, Wolf Boy!
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407. We heard Mr. Libby caught
him in a snare trap
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408. and Wolf Boy had to chew
his own leg off to get out.
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409. Wolf Boy's walking
on two legs again.
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410. Show's over, kids,
he's retired.
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411. It was just
the test patch.
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412. What's going on in there?
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413. It's okay, Mom,
I just saw a spider.
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414. Oh!
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415. The waxing is off.
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416. But you don't want
people to think
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417. you have that hairy gene
like your brother, do you?
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418. You actually fell
for that, Macie?
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419. Carl's the master
of manipulation.
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420. He can convince
anyone of anything.
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421. It's a sickness.
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422. Or... a gift.
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423. You were right to come
to me, ladies.
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424. As you know, I myself recently
had a brush with the hairy life
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425. and understand it's a mixed bag
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426. both at once charmed
and curs-ed.
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427. Can you help me, Carl?
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428. Believe I can, Sis.
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429. Mom has forbidden you
to shave your legs
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430. but said nothing, as I recall,
about your ankles.
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431. Show Miranda a hairless ankle
and send her packing.
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432. It might work.
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433. What's that old thing?
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434. This? Why, the finest
dog-grooming mechanism
on the market.
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435. Carelessly thrown in the trash.
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436. But if it was
good enough
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437. for the Randalls'
Pekinese
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438. it's good enough
for you.
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439. Oh... velvet.
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440. Oh, Ginger, there's
all sorts of fashion
available to you now!
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441. Oh... I don't know
how to thank you, Carl.
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442. This is a fine start.
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443. See me once a week.
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444. Pretty soon I'll have enough
for a goatee and sideburns.
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445. I'll be needing
those math problems
by the end of the day.
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446. It's over, Miranda.
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447. Find someone else
to do your dirty work.
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448. You think you're so clever.
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449. Fine! Where's that little
run-mouth friend of yours?
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450. You mean my best friend Dodie?
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451. She's not doing
anything for you.
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452. Try cracking a book yourself.
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453. Ouch.
That hurt, Foutley.
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454. Hmm...
khaki clam-diggers
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455. with a side
cargo pocket.
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456. How very smart!
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457. I approve.
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458. Thanks, Courtney.
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459. I'm glad you're
talking to me again.
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460. Well, you did have
three more days
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461. of cold-shouldering
coming
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462. but that statute
of limitations
can be broken
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463. when a fashion
compliment is
in order.
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464. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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465. and NICKELODEON
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466. Captioned by The Caption Center
Educational Foundation]
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467. What about my power? Grarr...
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