1. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
2. and NICKELODEON]Copy !req
3. Heel!Copy !req
4. I really can't believeCopy !req
5. we have to do our community
service at Golden Gates!Copy !req
6. I mean, come on!Copy !req
7. Could it be
any less glamorous?Copy !req
8. Not supposed to be
glamorous, jailbird.Copy !req
9. Tried to steal
the signCopy !req
10. now you'll have to
serve the time.Copy !req
11. This seriously ranksCopy !req
12. as one of the
worst possible daysCopy !req
13. in recent history!Copy !req
14. Uh, you think
you'll have timeCopy !req
15. to run me in an open field
before dinner?Copy !req
16. I'm dying to get off
this leash.Copy !req
17. Oh. Checking in?Copy !req
18. No, ma'am.Copy !req
19. We're only 12.Copy !req
20. Um, I'm Ginger Foutley.Copy !req
21. We're here to fulfill
our community service
sentence.Copy !req
22. Officer Killgallen
might have called...Copy !req
23. Oh, yes, the troublemakers.Copy !req
24. I've been expecting you girls...Copy !req
25. Who's he?Copy !req
26. That's my
little brother Carl.Copy !req
27. I have to watch him.Copy !req
28. Which is
pretty ironicCopy !req
29. considering I'm not the one
with the criminal record.Copy !req
30. Huh?Copy !req
31. Open up, Carl!Copy !req
32. I got snack cakes!Copy !req
33. "Hoodsey. Stop.Copy !req
34. "Parental Unit spazzed hard.
Stop.Copy !req
35. Will radio upon return. Stop."Copy !req
36. Could have at least
left a key, Carl.Copy !req
37. Girls, here are the duties
you will be expected
to perform:Copy !req
38. Ginger Foutley,
"Bingo Arts."Copy !req
39. Dodie Bishop,
"Bedside Reading."Copy !req
40. Macie Lightfoot,
"Dessert Distribution."Copy !req
41. Sweet...Copy !req
42. And you'll want to steer clear
of Maude in room 202.Copy !req
43. She's one of our more
"mischievous" community
members...Copy !req
44. and that's
putting it lightly.Copy !req
45. The last person who
ventured in there uninvitedCopy !req
46. was found hog-tied
in a utility closet
with their dentures missing.Copy !req
47. Well, we'll steer
clear of her, ma'am.Copy !req
48. 'Cause like you said,
we don't want any trouble.Copy !req
49. Isn't that right, Carl?Copy !req
50. 202...Copy !req
51. Are you trying to escape?Copy !req
52. There's an easier...Copy !req
53. Escape? Heck no!Copy !req
54. The ninny from my insurance
company just leftCopy !req
55. and I'm fixing to give him
a proper sendoff.Copy !req
56. Shut the door, give me a hand.Copy !req
57. Is that him?
Talking on the cell phone?Copy !req
58. Steady! Steady, now!Copy !req
59. Yow!Copy !req
60. Whoops... not him.Copy !req
61. So, uh...Copy !req
62. You must be Maude.Copy !req
63. Yeah, how did you know?Copy !req
64. Well, your reputation
precedes you.Copy !req
65. Reputation? As what?Copy !req
66. A live wire?Copy !req
67. They ain't lying!Copy !req
68. Brother, I need a drink.Copy !req
69. Ah... cherry.Copy !req
70. Care for a little soda pop?Copy !req
71. Or is the presentation
too gross for ya?Copy !req
72. Maude, I'll
have you knowCopy !req
73. that "gross" is
my middle name.Copy !req
74. First name's Carl.Copy !req
75. Well, Carl...
I think that me and youCopy !req
76. are gonna get along
like two peas in a pod.Copy !req
77. Bingo!Copy !req
78. What did she win?Copy !req
79. I said "Bingo",
little missy!Copy !req
80. What did I win?Copy !req
81. A wax fruit basket.Copy !req
82. Ooh!Copy !req
83. It's just for, uh, decoration,
Mrs. Gumfrey, so don't eat...Copy !req
84. Mind your business!Copy !req
85. I do what I please!Copy !req
86. And that's a wrap
for today, Ginger.Copy !req
87. I'll call my mom.Copy !req
88. Hi Mom, it's me.Copy !req
89. We're done helping
the old people.Copy !req
90. Can you come get us?Copy !req
91. Who called for me?Copy !req
92. Are you absolutely certain?Copy !req
93. Okay... thanks...Copy !req
94. You're not going to
believe this...Copy !req
95. Dodie and Macie:
Huh? Courtney!Copy !req
96. Thank you for holding.Copy !req
97. Your call is important
to CourtneyCopy !req
98. and will be answered in the
order in which it was received.Copy !req
99. Please do not hang up.Copy !req
100. Singer on phone:
♪ ... every day you show itCopy !req
101. ♪ ... and you know itCopy !req
102. ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah...Copy !req
103. Ginger?Copy !req
104. Were you singing
to my hold music?Copy !req
105. Was I?Copy !req
106. Hi, Courtney.Copy !req
107. Uh, what's up?Copy !req
108. Yes. Well, I'll just
launch right in.Copy !req
109. Since we're getting to be
such good friendsCopy !req
110. don't you think
it's about timeCopy !req
111. I came over to your house
for dinner?Copy !req
112. My house?Copy !req
113. I mean, you've been
to my place a ton of times...Copy !req
114. Actually, it's only
been a handful of times.Copy !req
115. But I guess,
uh, fair's fair.Copy !req
116. I mean, you could.Copy !req
117. You probably should!Copy !req
118. We should! Let's!Copy !req
119. Friday at 8:00
sounds perfect!Copy !req
120. I'll e-mail you a list
of my dietary restrictions.Copy !req
121. And thanks for returning
so promptly...Copy !req
122. Mumma always says
it's important to maintainCopy !req
123. a degree of control
over other people's lives.Copy !req
124. Remember that and
go get my bookbag.Copy !req
125. Courtney Gripling is
coming over to my house
for dinner!Copy !req
126. This is too much!
Too much!Copy !req
127. Oh, would you keep it down,
Hoodsey?Copy !req
128. You're breaking
my concentration here.Copy !req
129. I thought you and me
were the only onesCopy !req
130. who communicated
via walkie-talkie.Copy !req
131. I told you...Copy !req
132. This will only function
as a receiver!Copy !req
133. So Maude can hear me!Copy !req
134. You and I are still
the only ones who transmit...Copy !req
135. Oh, what's
the difference!Copy !req
136. You've changed
since you met her...Copy !req
137. I only met her a few...Copy !req
138. That's all it takes,
Carl!Copy !req
139. What's so great
about Maude anyway?Copy !req
140. She's got a plastic hip!Copy !req
141. So? I have asthma.Copy !req
142. She likes to play tricks
on people!Copy !req
143. So do I, Carl!Copy !req
144. Remember when I dipped
Stuart Higsby's lunch
in the toiletCopy !req
145. then put it
under the hand dryer
in the boy's room?Copy !req
146. So he wouldn't know?Copy !req
147. She practically rules
Golden Gates.Copy !req
148. Stuart ate
that lunch, Carl!Copy !req
149. I shouldn't have
to remind you!Copy !req
150. Just wait until
you meet her, Hoods.Copy !req
151. You're going to be as crazy
about Maude as I am.Copy !req
152. Melvin, Melvin,
looking good!Copy !req
153. That's one
sharp bathrobe!Copy !req
154. Let's get
out of here, Carl!Copy !req
155. I don't spend
this much time
with my own grandma.Copy !req
156. 4:15...
Crazy Eights in the lounge.Copy !req
157. It's time to put
our little plan into action.Copy !req
158. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm...Copy !req
159. Okay, Maude... there's
not a heart in the bunch!Copy !req
160. Change the suit
and victory is yours!Copy !req
161. What a haul!Copy !req
162. You guys are
total cheaters.Copy !req
163. Oh, come on, Hoodsey!Copy !req
164. You and I do stuff
like this all...Copy !req
165. I'm serious, Carl.Copy !req
166. I'm seeing a whole
different side of you.Copy !req
167. And it's not very becoming.Copy !req
168. Who is supposed to be
coming to dinner tomorrow?Copy !req
169. Courtney Gripling!Copy !req
170. She called on the phone
yesterday?Copy !req
171. The same girl that called
you "fashion-impaired"
and made you cry?Copy !req
172. Mom! That was, like,
200 years agoCopy !req
173. in the fifth grade
or something.Copy !req
174. Please say it's okay
if she comes...Copy !req
175. It's okay if she comes.Copy !req
176. And please say
you'll makeCopy !req
177. your famous
stuffed mushroom caps.Copy !req
178. Frankly, Ginger?Copy !req
179. I wouldn't dream of
serving anything less.Copy !req
180. Thanks, Mom.Copy !req
181. You're the best.Copy !req
182. Would you mind putting that
in writing?Copy !req
183. Huh? Carl?Copy !req
184. What are you doing with
"Car Companion Bob"?Copy !req
185. You know I don't like
driving at night
without him.Copy !req
186. I hereby solemnly swear
to take excellent care
of your dummy, Ma.Copy !req
187. Can I please borrow him
just for one day?Copy !req
188. What for?Copy !req
189. Afraid that information's
classified.Copy !req
190. No holes,
no candy residueCopy !req
191. no penciled-on
mustachesCopy !req
192. or it comes out of
your allowance...
no kidding.Copy !req
193. We have reached
an understanding!Copy !req
194. Pleasure doing business
with you, Mom.Copy !req
195. Oh, uh...
one more favor?Copy !req
196. I'd like to have
my lady-friendCopy !req
197. over for dinner
tomorrowCopy !req
198. if it pleases
the committee.Copy !req
199. Things are
getting serious.Copy !req
200. I want everyone
to meet her.Copy !req
201. Well, I am
speechless.Copy !req
202. So it's okay?Copy !req
203. I don't see why not.Copy !req
204. Tomorrow's line-up
is really heating up.Copy !req
205. Checkmate!Copy !req
206. Wasn't that great,
Hoods?Copy !req
207. Did you see it?Copy !req
208. If you ask me, the whole thing's
a little juvenile.Copy !req
209. Juvenile? Are you nuts?Copy !req
210. Come on, Hoods!Copy !req
211. Surely you can
appreciate...Copy !req
212. And another thing, Carl!Copy !req
213. Why did you change
the secret hiding placeCopy !req
214. for the doghouse key
without telling me?Copy !req
215. Oh, don't get your
undies in a bunch!Copy !req
216. It's buried in a pickle jar
behind the dying shrub.Copy !req
217. Sheknows?Copy !req
218. She knows the secret
hiding place before me?Copy !req
219. Oh, this is rich, Carl!Copy !req
220. Really rich!Copy !req
221. I could have sworn
I told you...Copy !req
222. Now, for the finishing touch.Copy !req
223. Macie, hit the light.Copy !req
224. It's a disco-inspired
wonderland!Copy !req
225. I pronounce this bedroom
a virtual den of coolness.Copy !req
226. Oh, thanks, you guys.Copy !req
227. Do you think I should
hide my ponies?Copy !req
228. What do you think
of this top, Miranda?Copy !req
229. I'm looking for something
that saysCopy !req
230. "I don't want to look
like I'm better than you...
but I kind of am."Copy !req
231. What do you think?Copy !req
232. I bet her room is
filled with pony toys!Copy !req
233. She probably has
a mobile, too!Copy !req
234. Miranda!
I'm talking to you!Copy !req
235. There will be
plenty of timeCopy !req
236. for you to talk
to yourselfCopy !req
237. while I'm
at my dinner engagement.Copy !req
238. Now, what do you think
of my top?Copy !req
239. It's perfect, Courtney.
Really.Copy !req
240. Just the right shade
of green.Copy !req
241. Okay, let's move on
to the living room!Copy !req
242. Strike the potty shot,
for sure.Copy !req
243. Check!Copy !req
244. ConcealCopy !req
245. the apple
brown betty stain.Copy !req
246. Check!Copy !req
247. There—Copy !req
248. totally
and utterly
acceptable.Copy !req
249. Nice looking table, kiddo.Copy !req
250. But we're one place short.Copy !req
251. What?Copy !req
252. I say we're one short.Copy !req
253. Carl's got company
coming, too.Copy !req
254. Didn't I tell you?Copy !req
255. He has a little
girlfriend.Copy !req
256. Isn't that sweet?Copy !req
257. Sweet?
Are you serious?Copy !req
258. Mother!Copy !req
259. Courtney Gripling
is coming to our houseCopy !req
260. for dinner tonight.Copy !req
261. How, I repeat, how,
could you possibly let CarlCopy !req
262. invite one of his
grimy little playmates?Copy !req
263. This is Courtney Gripling
we're talking about!Copy !req
264. Oh, give me a break,
Ginger.Copy !req
265. She ain't
the Queen of England.Copy !req
266. Oh, please, please, please...Copy !req
267. let her be a shy,
well-mannered little girl!Copy !req
268. Preferably one with an
incredibly early curfew...Copy !req
269. Hiya, hot stuff!Copy !req
270. You must be Ginger!Copy !req
271. But I bet your friends
call youCopy !req
272. Gingervitis!Copy !req
273. That's a little gum humor for ya
since I left my teeth home.Copy !req
274. Carl said your mom's cooking
leaned toward gummyCopy !req
275. so I figured I'd go...
commando!Copy !req
276. Yoo-hoo! Ginger!Copy !req
277. Sorry I'm
fashionably late.Copy !req
278. This... is my life.Copy !req
279. Whoops! Did I just
break something?Copy !req
280. Oh, no, it's nothing.Copy !req
281. The cushions are just...
you know, crunchy.Copy !req
282. Look at that precious
wittle frog face.Copy !req
283. You're making a winkle!Copy !req
284. Ginger, I'd love
a walking tour
of your house...Copy !req
285. Great. Perfect. Let's go.Copy !req
286. Ah, don't worry about me.Copy !req
287. I'll be just fine here,
all by my lonesome.Copy !req
288. Though it is a tad musty
in here!Copy !req
289. Maybe some fresh air...Copy !req
290. Grandma Foutley
is a real cutup!Copy !req
291. Uh, she's not my...Copy !req
292. Say, is it okay
if I lose my shoes?Copy !req
293. Since the window's
open and all?Copy !req
294. See's, I got a blistering bunion
the size of Detroit, sisterCopy !req
295. and...
it needs to breathe!Copy !req
296. Shall we?Copy !req
297. Evening, ladies.Copy !req
298. So... this is my room.Copy !req
299. It's precious!
So retro!Copy !req
300. It's lived-in yet darling!Copy !req
301. The bed is tidy!Copy !req
302. The walls are adorned!Copy !req
303. And the pony motif is
absolutely priceless!Copy !req
304. Ooh! What is this, a robot?Copy !req
305. No, Courtney.Copy !req
306. That's a vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
307. It's used for cleaning.Copy !req
308. Fascinating!Copy !req
309. Ginger, there's so much
you can teach me.Copy !req
310. So, uh... how long
have you two been, uh...Copy !req
311. Partners in crime?Copy !req
312. Since the fateful day
I strolled into the home.Copy !req
313. That's right!Copy !req
314. Some people said
things were moving too fastCopy !req
315. but we didn't pay them
no never mind.Copy !req
316. So, Lois...
you interested in grandchildren?Copy !req
317. What? What, I, I... I, uh...Copy !req
318. I got to see a man about
some mushrooms, excuse me.Copy !req
319. 'Cause I was gonna show
you a picture of mine!Copy !req
320. So I got this rash, right?Copy !req
321. Itches like the DickensCopy !req
322. stubborn as a mule!
Gross...Copy !req
323. Powders don't help!Copy !req
324. Ointments won't work!Copy !req
325. Maybe just keeping
quiet about it...Copy !req
326. Why, I even tried
an old folk remedy
that smelled like tarCopy !req
327. but it didn't make
no never mind!Copy !req
328. You're a nurse.
What gives?Copy !req
329. Honestly?
I-I have no idea.Copy !req
330. But I'd get it
looked at right away.Copy !req
331. No!Copy !req
332. Don't worry, pumpkin!Copy !req
333. It ain't contagious.Copy !req
334. She's revolting.Copy !req
335. Ain't she, though?Copy !req
336. So, I made a brisket.Copy !req
337. Is that okay
for you, Courtney?Copy !req
338. Oh, yes.Copy !req
339. And may I say, Mrs. FoutleyCopy !req
340. you've got that whole "concerned
mother" thing down just right.Copy !req
341. Very convincing—
like the moms on TV.Copy !req
342. Hmm. You don't get out much,
do you?Copy !req
343. Maude's got the appetite
of a wild cougar.Copy !req
344. Hiya, Hoodsey!Copy !req
345. Come on in and
make yourself a plate...Copy !req
346. Please excuse me, madam.Copy !req
347. I won't be but a minute.Copy !req
348. Okay, so what's
on your mind, Hoods?Copy !req
349. I have tried to like Maude!
Honest I have!Copy !req
350. But there's something about her
that I just don't trust!Copy !req
351. Hoodsey...Copy !req
352. I'm not kidding, Carl!Copy !req
353. I don't know quite
how to break this to youCopy !req
354. so I'm just going to come right
out and tell you what I think.Copy !req
355. Well?Copy !req
356. I think she's after
one of your lungs, Carl.Copy !req
357. What?Copy !req
358. You've heard the wayCopy !req
359. she's always hacking
her brains out!Copy !req
360. And they say you can live
with just one!Copy !req
361. She's no fool, Carl.Copy !req
362. Oh, Hoods...Copy !req
363. You know, I think I know
what this is really about.Copy !req
364. You do?Copy !req
365. Yep. You're jealous
of Maude.Copy !req
366. Don't worry, Hoods, she's
never going to take your place.Copy !req
367. You're my best friend...Copy !req
368. and Maude's my woman.Copy !req
369. Here, let me
show you something.Copy !req
370. For me?Copy !req
371. No, but go ahead,
open it.Copy !req
372. It's a worm, Carl.Copy !req
373. It's a ringworm, Hoods!Copy !req
374. A ringworm?Copy !req
375. Is that Lucky Charlie?Copy !req
376. Yep, sure is!Copy !req
377. How could you?Copy !req
378. I'm going to ask Maude
for her hand in marriage.Copy !req
379. Tonight.Copy !req
380. You've flipped
your lid, Carl!Copy !req
381. You've lost it and
it can't be found!Copy !req
382. You're talking
crazy stuff, and I...Copy !req
383. I can't be a part of it!Copy !req
384. Please? Pretty please?Copy !req
385. With sugar on top?Copy !req
386. Just a few good chomps
with those pearly whites
of yoursCopy !req
387. and I can swallow
this baby down easy.Copy !req
388. Uh, Grandma?Copy !req
389. You should really
try to chew your
own food.Copy !req
390. What you're doing...
it isn't polite.Copy !req
391. It isn't even sanitary.Copy !req
392. Aw, if Carl was here,
he'd chew it for me...Copy !req
393. I'm sorry, she's...Copy !req
394. On their father's side.
Really.Copy !req
395. Oh, foo!Copy !req
396. Uh... Mom?Copy !req
397. Is Grandma... napping?Copy !req
398. I don't think so, Ging.Copy !req
399. Somehow, I...
I really don't think so.Copy !req
400. Poor dear...Copy !req
401. and her last words
were, "Oh... foo."Copy !req
402. Oh, foo...Copy !req
403. Carl's eulogy was
really touching.Copy !req
404. I think he may have
even loved her.Copy !req
405. This is the saddest,
most romantic story
I've ever heard.Copy !req
406. Do you think Carl's
going to be okay?Copy !req
407. I hope so.Copy !req
408. He's never had to deal
with anything like this.Copy !req
409. It was horrible!Copy !req
410. It was spectacular!Copy !req
411. The mother was just
like I pictured her.Copy !req
412. I touched
a real, live wacuumCopy !req
413. and I even got to use
my sad-for-you face!Copy !req
414. Oh, you know the one...Copy !req
415. Did you get the film back yet?Copy !req
416. How did I know about the ponies?Copy !req
417. How did I know?Copy !req
418. Hi.Copy !req
419. Hi.Copy !req
420. Got the key
from the pickle jarCopy !req
421. just like Maude said.Copy !req
422. Hope you don't mind.Copy !req
423. I don't.Copy !req
424. I know you may not
believe meCopy !req
425. but I'm really sorry
and everything.Copy !req
426. I believe you.Copy !req
427. Thanks, Hoods.Copy !req
428. Pretty cool that she
left you her gallstone.Copy !req
429. Only Maude...Copy !req
430. Hey, Carl? You want to go throw
water balloons off your roof?Copy !req
431. You know... I think
it's probably the wayCopy !req
432. Maude would have
wanted it.Copy !req
433. Yeah...Copy !req
434. Yeah.Copy !req
435. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
436. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
437. Captioned byThe Caption Center
Educational Foundation]Copy !req
438. If you ask me, the whole thing's
a little juvenile.Copy !req