1. Hey!Copy !req
2. Hey!Copy !req
3. Hey!Copy !req
4. Hey!Copy !req
5. Hey, D.W.Copy !req
6. Hey!Copy !req
7. Whoa!Copy !req
8. You're it!Copy !req
9. Oh, no!Copy !req
10. Sometimes I wonder what
the world would be likeCopy !req
11. if everyone was just like me.Copy !req
12. No one would ever call
anyone "Four-eyes."Copy !req
13. Hey, nice
glasses.Copy !req
14. Thanks— yours are
pretty cool, too.Copy !req
15. Hooray!Copy !req
16. Hooray!
Hooray! Hooray!Copy !req
17. My birthday would be
a national holiday.Copy !req
18. and everyone would
be super-nice—Copy !req
19. even the bank robbers.Copy !req
20. Good morning, everyone.Copy !req
21. Would you please
give me all your money?Copy !req
22. My pleasure!Copy !req
23. Thanks!Copy !req
24. Yep, it'd be great
if there were a million me's.Copy !req
25. But wait— if there were
a million me's...Copy !req
26. Come play with us, Arthur!Copy !req
27. Come play
with us, Arthur!Copy !req
28. There'd be a million D.W.s!Copy !req
29. Attention!Copy !req
30. Mary Alice Crosswire,
also known as "me"Copy !req
31. will have a party
this weekend at Waterworld.Copy !req
32. You're all invited.Copy !req
33. Waterworld?Copy !req
34. Great!Copy !req
35. Especially
Since they addedCopy !req
36. that new ride—Copy !req
37. The Slam Dunk!Copy !req
38. I just saw
the commercial for it.Copy !req
39. 25 miles of the fastest
water ride ever!Copy !req
40. Ending with a straight drop
into icy water!Copy !req
41. Cool!Copy !req
42. One for you—
thank you for coming.Copy !req
43. and one for you—
thank you for coming.Copy !req
44. Um, sorry, Muffy,
but I can't go.Copy !req
45. Can't go! Why?Copy !req
46. Amusement parks are
puerile diversionsCopy !req
47. befitting
unfledged tots.Copy !req
48. Huh!Huh! Huh!Copy !req
49. Waterworld is
for little kids.Copy !req
50. He's wrong, you know.Copy !req
51. You got to be
this tall to ride.Copy !req
52. It's me.Copy !req
53. The Brain
hates me.Copy !req
54. Oh, Muffy, come on!Copy !req
55. You know that's not true.Copy !req
56. Yes, it is!Copy !req
57. One time, when
he went sailing with usCopy !req
58. he wouldn't even
stand on deck with me.Copy !req
59. Wow!Copy !req
60. Brain, you've got
to see this!Copy !req
61. There's a dolphin!Copy !req
62. No, thanks, I've seen
plenty at the zoo.Copy !req
63. Anyway, they're
just mammals like
you and me.Copy !req
64. Muffy, he doesn't
like any girls.Copy !req
65. What! That's crazy!Copy !req
66. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
67. Remember my Halloween party?Copy !req
68. I was the first one
to bob for apples.Copy !req
69. Brain, why
don't you go?Copy !req
70. Do you know
how many parasites
and bacteriaCopy !req
71. Are in that bucket?Copy !req
72. I think
I'll pass.Copy !req
73. Parasites and bacteria,
my foot!Copy !req
74. I know what he was really
afraid of— cooties.Copy !req
75. You're wrong.Copy !req
76. He doesn't
just hate girls;Copy !req
77. He hates
all of us.Copy !req
78. That is ridiculous.Copy !req
79. Oh, really?Copy !req
80. Well, listen to this...Copy !req
81. Once, the Brain and I were
trying to catch frogsCopy !req
82. near the pond.Copy !req
83. I got one!Copy !req
84. I got one!Copy !req
85. Whoa!Copy !req
86. Quick— get it, get it!Copy !req
87. You had him!Copy !req
88. Why'd you let him go?Copy !req
89. Because chasing
frogs isCopy !req
90. cruel and
inhumane.Copy !req
91. I won't be
a part of it.Copy !req
92. He said he didn't like usCopy !req
93. because he was smarter.Copy !req
94. He said that?Copy !req
95. Yep— at least,
I think that's
what he said.Copy !req
96. He used
bigger words.Copy !req
97. He thinks he's better than us.Copy !req
98. What
a snob.Copy !req
99. I can't
believe
you guys!Copy !req
100. The Brain is one
of our best friends.Copy !req
101. Then why won't he
come to my party?Copy !req
102. I... I don't know.Copy !req
103. Thanks for coming
to my partyCopy !req
104. even though
it's at a silly
amusement parkCopy !req
105. my daddy
has rented at
great expense.Copy !req
106. I wouldn't
miss it, Muffy!Copy !req
107. I'm not a snob
like some people.Copy !req
108. Uh... uh... oh.Copy !req
109. Hi, Binky.Copy !req
110. The Brain is saying hello.Copy !req
111. I'm so honored!Copy !req
112. Thank you, Mr. Brain.Copy !req
113. Thank you.Copy !req
114. Ahem!Copy !req
115. Doesn't that
table lookCopy !req
116. a little
crowded, Arthur?Copy !req
117. or do you think you're
better than us, too?Copy !req
118. I need to talk
to you later.Copy !req
119. No!D.W.!Copy !req
120. Arthur, hide me!Copy !req
121. You can't let
them get me!Copy !req
122. D.W., it's
just a bath.Copy !req
123. Nobody ever died
from taking a bath.Copy !req
124. Thanks, Eggs
Benedict Arnold!Copy !req
125. Some people get upset
over the craziest things.Copy !req
126. Hey, I wonder if the Brain...Copy !req
127. Wait, that's it!Copy !req
128. Arthur—
boy, am I glad to see you!Copy !req
129. Come in.Copy !req
130. Thanks.Copy !req
131. That's why they
think you're a snob.Copy !req
132. It's not true; I don't
think I'm better.Copy !req
133. I knew you didn't.Copy !req
134. But Brain, why won't you
go to Muffy's party?Copy !req
135. You wouldn't
understand.Copy !req
136. Are you afraid
of something?Copy !req
137. No... I think I'm
being called for dinner.Copy !req
138. I better get home.Copy !req
139. but this is your house!Copy !req
140. Binky,
guess what!Copy !req
141. I know what's wrong
with the Brain.Copy !req
142. He's...Copy !req
143. what are
you doing?Copy !req
144. Shh!Copy !req
145. Binky, no!Copy !req
146. Don't do it! Stop!Copy !req
147. What're
you doing?Copy !req
148. I had a perfect
shot at the snob.Copy !req
149. but the Brain's
not a snob.Copy !req
150. He's afraid
to go swimming.Copy !req
151. What! Is that true?Copy !req
152. I knew no one would understand.Copy !req
153. I'll be the class
laughingstock.Copy !req
154. I can't believe
I was so insensitive.Copy !req
155. You were just
afraid of swimming.Copy !req
156. What a dumb thing
to be afraid of!Copy !req
157. My hydrophobia
has prevented me
from engagingCopy !req
158. in a multitude
of peer-related
activities.Copy !req
159. In English, please.Copy !req
160. It really stinks, Binky.Copy !req
161. Brain, we're going
to cure you.Copy !req
162. We are?Copy !req
163. Yep, come on.Copy !req
164. I know just
the thing for it.Copy !req
165. Jump.Copy !req
166. I'm afraid
I'll sink!Copy !req
167. This is the only way
to learn how to swim.Copy !req
168. We'll save you
if you sink.Copy !req
169. I don't want to learn.Copy !req
170. I want to go home.Copy !req
171. You are going
to learn to swimCopy !req
172. and then
you are goingCopy !req
173. to have fun at Waterworld!Copy !req
174. Uh, Binky,
I thinkCopy !req
175. we need to
start offCopy !req
176. with something
a little easier.Copy !req
177. Okay, Brain,
now just stepCopy !req
178. onto that
top step.Copy !req
179. Good, now take
another step.Copy !req
180. Great! Now
another one.Copy !req
181. Arthur, Muffy's
party will be overCopy !req
182. before he gets
up to his neck!Copy !req
183. Up to my neck!Copy !req
184. No way am I going that far!Copy !req
185. I'm out of here!Copy !req
186. What good is
an aquarium going to do?Copy !req
187. It's just filled
with fish and dumb facts.Copy !req
188. If we can make
him feelCopy !req
189. like he's
in waterCopy !req
190. without getting him wetCopy !req
191. we can cure him.Copy !req
192. Did you know that
sperm whales eatCopy !req
193. 60 tons of
plankton a year?Copy !req
194. Oh, come on.Copy !req
195. Let's get this over with.Copy !req
196. Now, Brain,
I want you to lookCopy !req
197. into that fish tankCopy !req
198. and imagine you're
in there, underwater.Copy !req
199. Are you
imagining it?Copy !req
200. Are you scared?Copy !req
201. Hey, I think
we've cured him!Copy !req
202. What went wrong?Copy !req
203. I couldn't hold
my breath any longer.Copy !req
204. You weren't supposed
to hold your breath.Copy !req
205. I can't breathe underwater.Copy !req
206. I don't have gills.Copy !req
207. This was
a dumb idea.Copy !req
208. It was better
than making him
jump in the lake!Copy !req
209. Was not!Copy !req
210. Was too!Copy !req
211. Was not!Copy !req
212. Stop it!Copy !req
213. I really appreciate
you trying to helpCopy !req
214. but it's not working.Copy !req
215. There are worse things
to be afraid of—Copy !req
216. like air.Copy !req
217. You should
look where...Copy !req
218. Or school...Copy !req
219. Hey, Brain,
watch out!Copy !req
220. Or... whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
221. Somebody help me!Copy !req
222. Oh, thank you!Copy !req
223. You guys just
saved my life!Copy !req
224. I was really scared.Copy !req
225. You know
something,
Brain?Copy !req
226. So was I.Copy !req
227. Me, too.Copy !req
228. That was fun!Copy !req
229. It's too bad
the Brain couldn't come.Copy !req
230. Just because he
doesn't like to swimCopy !req
231. doesn't mean he's
not our friend.Copy !req
232. I didn't try
to make him
like swimming.Copy !req
233. It would be boringCopy !req
234. if everybody
was the same.Copy !req
235. You guys wouldn't have
anything to fight about.Copy !req
236. I'm just glad
Brain's not a snob.Copy !req
237. I don't like snobs.Copy !req
238. By the way, Arthur, who
picked out your bathing suit?Copy !req
239. It's so tacky.Copy !req
240. I'm glad the Brain
is the way he is.Copy !req
241. OtherwiseCopy !req
242. the towels would be
as wet as we are.Copy !req
243. Hi, guys!Copy !req
244. And now...Copy !req
245. I'm afraid of heights.Copy !req
246. I'm afraid of sharks.Copy !req
247. I'm afraid of a dog.Copy !req
248. Water...Copy !req
249. Alligators...Copy !req
250. Bats...Copy !req
251. I'm afraid of bugs.Copy !req
252. Spiders...Copy !req
253. I'm afraid
of lightning and thunder.Copy !req
254. Today we're helping each other
with our fears.Copy !req
255. I have a fear of caterpillars.Copy !req
256. You're afraid
of caterpillars?Copy !req
257. Yeah.Copy !req
258. I have a solution.Copy !req
259. What is it?Copy !req
260. Well, why don't you just
not look down at them?Copy !req
261. Okay, thanks.Copy !req
262. A bulldog.Copy !req
263. Alex, if you're scared
of bulldogsCopy !req
264. you should call for help.Copy !req
265. Thanks, Kara.Copy !req
266. I'm afraid of mice.Copy !req
267. If you're afraid
of miceCopy !req
268. why don't you get
some mousetraps?Copy !req
269. Thanks, Eric.Copy !req
270. I'm afraid of snakes.Copy !req
271. If you're afraid
of snakesCopy !req
272. why don't you just
put them in a boxCopy !req
273. like I drew
in my picture?Copy !req
274. Hey, thanks, good idea.Copy !req
275. I'm afraid of the dark.Copy !req
276. Alicia, if you're afraid
of the darkCopy !req
277. you should go to sleep
like this.Copy !req
278. By the time you wake up,
it'll be daytime.Copy !req
279. Thanks, Jennifer.Copy !req
280. You're welcome.Copy !req
281. Don't be afraid.Copy !req
282. And now...Copy !req
283. Listen to this.Copy !req
284. This is a funny joke.Copy !req
285. A monkey and a banana
walk down the street in a car.Copy !req
286. No, wait— an apple and a banana
are driving a monkey...Copy !req
287. driving a car with a monkey...Copy !req
288. no, the monkey's driving...Copy !req
289. I messed it up again.Copy !req
290. Okay, a monkey's driving
a banana...Copy !req
291. A monkey's driving a bus
full of apples and bananas—Copy !req
292. Oranges, they're oranges.Copy !req
293. A monkey is driving a bus...Copy !req
294. Okay, I've got it.Copy !req
295. It's funny, this is funny.Copy !req
296. I almost wrecked it.Copy !req
297. It has to be orange
because the punch line isCopy !req
298. "Orange you glad
I didn't say banana?"Copy !req
299. Oh, man, I said the punch line.Copy !req
300. Hi.Copy !req
301. Mom!Copy !req
302. D.W. used my pencil sharpenerCopy !req
303. to sharpen crayons again.Copy !req
304. Did not!Copy !req
305. Then how comeCopy !req
306. it's full
of crayon?Copy !req
307. D.W.:
Pal did it!Copy !req
308. He couldn't.Copy !req
309. He doesn't
have thumbs.Copy !req
310. Got to go.Copy !req
311. Dear Buster, how is itCopy !req
312. traveling to foreign countries
with your dad?Copy !req
313. I wish D.W. would go
to a foreign country.Copy !req
314. D.W.:
I heard that.Copy !req
315. Everyone is raising money
for the Elwood City library.Copy !req
316. Mrs. McGrady is having
a bake saleCopy !req
317. to raise money for new books.Copy !req
318. For someone who says
he doesn't like to readCopy !req
319. Binky sure paid
for a lot of books.Copy !req
320. Mr. Crosswire is raffling off
a new car.Copy !req
321. And Muffy decided to have
a backyard carnival.Copy !req
322. We'll put activity
booths thereCopy !req
323. and a Ferris wheel back there.Copy !req
324. We need a main show.Copy !req
325. What's the
best thing to do
to raise money?Copy !req
326. Let's set up
a particle acceleratorCopy !req
327. like the one created
by Simon van der Meer.Copy !req
328. Then shrink people down
to subatomic sizeCopy !req
329. so they can examine ions
and nucleic structure up close.Copy !req
330. What a thrill ride
that would be.Copy !req
331. What? Is that
even possible?Copy !req
332. She didn't say
it had to be possible.Copy !req
333. She said "the best thing."Copy !req
334. Hmm.Copy !req
335. Sounded cool to me.Copy !req
336. I've got it!Copy !req
337. A gigantic shopping plaza
full of clothes.Copy !req
338. Blah!Copy !req
339. Shopping is boring.Copy !req
340. I'm not paying for
a pasteurizing agitator.Copy !req
341. Particle accelerator.Copy !req
342. I wish Buster
were here.Copy !req
343. He'd say let's tell jokes
or be clowns.Copy !req
344. What a great idea!Copy !req
345. This is a carnival.Copy !req
346. We can all be clowns.Copy !req
347. Thanks,
Arthur.Copy !req
348. We agreed to be clownsCopy !req
349. and tried out all
the funny things we could do.Copy !req
350. I told them a joke
you told me—Copy !req
351. the one about the shoe store?Copy !req
352. And he says,
"Hide, hide, a cow's outside."Copy !req
353. And the other guy says,
"I don't care.Copy !req
354. I'm not afraid of any cow."Copy !req
355. Get it?Copy !req
356. Oh, yeah, we get it.Copy !req
357. Yes, the shoes were
made of leather
or cowhide.Copy !req
358. He's not funny.Copy !req
359. If Arthur's a clown,
he'll ruin my carnival.Copy !req
360. I'll talk to him.Copy !req
361. There are other jobs
besides a clownCopy !req
362. that you can do
at the carnival.Copy !req
363. But I can be funny.Copy !req
364. I know it.Copy !req
365. I used to make Buster laugh
all the time.Copy !req
366. Maybe he was
just being polite.Copy !req
367. Once he laughed
so hardCopy !req
368. he squirted
a strawberry
thick shakeCopy !req
369. through his nose.Copy !req
370. And you don't squirt
a whole strawberry
thick shakeCopy !req
371. out your nose
just to be polite.Copy !req
372. Mom!Copy !req
373. Mom, can I ask you
a question?Copy !req
374. Am I funny?Copy !req
375. There's
nothing funnyCopy !req
376. about not practicing
the piano all week.Copy !req
377. One thing I know, Buster—Copy !req
378. if mom wants you to practice,
you practice firstCopy !req
379. and ask questions later.Copy !req
380. Now it's
your turn, Kate.Copy !req
381. I win!Copy !req
382. Let's play again.Copy !req
383. Kate thinks you're funny,
and I do, too.Copy !req
384. Your face is always hilarious.Copy !req
385. Har-har-har.Copy !req
386. You're just
jealousCopy !req
387. because I'm funnier
than you.Copy !req
388. Oh, it's hard
having a sister
who's perfect.Copy !req
389. You'll get used to it.Copy !req
390. Everyone is
laughing at meCopy !req
391. because
I'm not funny.Copy !req
392. I mean, they're not
laughing at me.Copy !req
393. You need a surefire joke.Copy !req
394. A guy who doesn't
hear wellCopy !req
395. goes to buy shoes.Copy !req
396. That's the same
joke I told.Copy !req
397. Really? It's a very funny joke.Copy !req
398. Unless I tell it.Copy !req
399. Great, I'm a joke killer.Copy !req
400. Everyone here
can be clownsCopy !req
401. but not Arthur.Copy !req
402. The clown thing
was his idea.Copy !req
403. We'll hurt his feelings.Copy !req
404. Then make him a good clownCopy !req
405. because I will
not let him wreck
my carnival.Copy !req
406. That's when it started, Buster.Copy !req
407. I got it.Copy !req
408. Sue Ellen came by to teach me
to juggle.Copy !req
409. After a while, she gave up.Copy !req
410. Then the Brain taught me jokes.Copy !req
411. But I didn't really
understand them.Copy !req
412. Don't you get it?Copy !req
413. Helium is a noble gas.Copy !req
414. Oh.Copy !req
415. What?Copy !req
416. I couldn't make faces
like Binky.Copy !req
417. Muffy even hired
Pickles the clownCopy !req
418. to teach me
professional clowning.Copy !req
419. No, I'm not clowning.Copy !req
420. That was a real sneeze.Copy !req
421. Pickles had to leave
because he's allergic to dogsCopy !req
422. but he gave me some advice.Copy !req
423. Kid, forget about ever having
huge feet and a big, round nose.Copy !req
424. You heard himCopy !req
425. and he's the biggest clown
in town.Copy !req
426. I heard about a kid
with no sense of humor.Copy !req
427. He grew up to be...Copy !req
428. Mr. Ratburn.Copy !req
429. 8 times 7 divided by 4.Copy !req
430. Quickly, quickly.Copy !req
431. He's the future
Ratburn.Copy !req
432. Run for your life!Copy !req
433. Get away
from the Rat.Copy !req
434. Girls are
scientifically
inexplicable.Copy !req
435. You said it.Copy !req
436. That means weird, right?Copy !req
437. Yeah.Copy !req
438. You said it.Copy !req
439. Look out, it's...Copy !req
440. Hold it, you're right.Copy !req
441. I'm not funny.Copy !req
442. I don't have to be a clown.Copy !req
443. Not everybody
has to be funny.Copy !req
444. If everyone was funny
like people on TVCopy !req
445. there'd be no reason
to watch TV.Copy !req
446. Then the people
who make showsCopy !req
447. would have no jobsCopy !req
448. and the companies
that advertisedCopy !req
449. would go out
of business.Copy !req
450. So by not being funnyCopy !req
451. I'm saving the jobs of thousands
and thousands of peopleCopy !req
452. and their families.Copy !req
453. Wow!Copy !req
454. I hope someday I can be
as important as Arthur.Copy !req
455. So the day of
the carnival came.Copy !req
456. I was the piano player.Copy !req
457. Poor guy.Copy !req
458. I hope you're happy.Copy !req
459. You know, when I really
think about it, I am.Copy !req
460. Arthur looks
so funny.Copy !req
461. He's in a suit.Copy !req
462. Listen to all those
mistakes he's making.Copy !req
463. Listen to
those laughs.Copy !req
464. Wow! We must be
really good.Copy !req
465. Let's take a bow.Copy !req
466. Um... they're
laughing at him.Copy !req
467. Cut that out!Copy !req
468. Oh, sorry,
I was playing with Kate.Copy !req
469. Bravo!Copy !req
470. Encore!Copy !req
471. Bravo!Copy !req
472. They like it.Copy !req
473. Arthur, keep going.Copy !req
474. I can't believe everybody
liked what I did.Copy !req
475. Either can I.Copy !req
476. You do it every day.Copy !req
477. Big deal.Copy !req
478. Congratulations, kid.Copy !req
479. Shake.Copy !req
480. What works for me
didn't work for you.Copy !req
481. So you found
your own individual
way to do it.Copy !req
482. Yeah, how'd I do that?Copy !req
483. When there's one way
to do somethingCopy !req
484. that doesn't mean
it's the only way.Copy !req
485. Everybody's got
a different style.Copy !req
486. Don't be afraid
to find yours.Copy !req
487. I'll remember that,
Mr. Pickles.Copy !req
488. So Francine was wrong.Copy !req
489. I was funny.Copy !req
490. I just hadn't found
my style yet.Copy !req
491. Now, if only
I could find a styleCopy !req
492. that would get me
an "A" in math.Copy !req
493. Write back soon.Copy !req
494. Your friend, Arthur.Copy !req