1. Hey!
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2. Hey!
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3. Hey!
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4. Hey!
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5. Hey, D.W.
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6. Hey!
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7. Whoa!
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8. You're it!
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9. Oh, no!
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10. Sometimes I wonder what
the world would be like
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11. if everyone was just like me.
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12. No one would ever call
anyone "Four-eyes."
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13. Hey, nice
glasses.
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14. Thanks— yours are
pretty cool, too.
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15. Hooray!
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16. Hooray!
Hooray! Hooray!
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17. My birthday would be
a national holiday.
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18. and everyone would
be super-nice—
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19. even the bank robbers.
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20. Good morning, everyone.
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21. Would you please
give me all your money?
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22. My pleasure!
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23. Thanks!
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24. Yep, it'd be great
if there were a million me's.
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25. But wait— if there were
a million me's...
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26. Come play with us, Arthur!
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27. Come play
with us, Arthur!
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28. There'd be a million D.W.s!
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29. Attention!
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30. Mary Alice Crosswire,
also known as "me"
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31. will have a party
this weekend at Waterworld.
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32. You're all invited.
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33. Waterworld?
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34. Great!
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35. Especially
Since they added
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36. that new ride—
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37. The Slam Dunk!
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38. I just saw
the commercial for it.
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39. 25 miles of the fastest
water ride ever!
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40. Ending with a straight drop
into icy water!
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41. Cool!
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42. One for you—
thank you for coming.
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43. and one for you—
thank you for coming.
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44. Um, sorry, Muffy,
but I can't go.
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45. Can't go! Why?
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46. Amusement parks are
puerile diversions
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47. befitting
unfledged tots.
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48. Huh!Huh! Huh!
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49. Waterworld is
for little kids.
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50. He's wrong, you know.
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51. You got to be
this tall to ride.
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52. It's me.
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53. The Brain
hates me.
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54. Oh, Muffy, come on!
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55. You know that's not true.
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56. Yes, it is!
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57. One time, when
he went sailing with us
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58. he wouldn't even
stand on deck with me.
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59. Wow!
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60. Brain, you've got
to see this!
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61. There's a dolphin!
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62. No, thanks, I've seen
plenty at the zoo.
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63. Anyway, they're
just mammals like
you and me.
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64. Muffy, he doesn't
like any girls.
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65. What! That's crazy!
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66. Oh, yeah?
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67. Remember my Halloween party?
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68. I was the first one
to bob for apples.
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69. Brain, why
don't you go?
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70. Do you know
how many parasites
and bacteria
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71. Are in that bucket?
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72. I think
I'll pass.
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73. Parasites and bacteria,
my foot!
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74. I know what he was really
afraid of— cooties.
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75. You're wrong.
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76. He doesn't
just hate girls;
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77. He hates
all of us.
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78. That is ridiculous.
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79. Oh, really?
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80. Well, listen to this...
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81. Once, the Brain and I were
trying to catch frogs
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82. near the pond.
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83. I got one!
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84. I got one!
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85. Whoa!
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86. Quick— get it, get it!
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87. You had him!
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88. Why'd you let him go?
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89. Because chasing
frogs is
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90. cruel and
inhumane.
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91. I won't be
a part of it.
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92. He said he didn't like us
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93. because he was smarter.
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94. He said that?
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95. Yep— at least,
I think that's
what he said.
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96. He used
bigger words.
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97. He thinks he's better than us.
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98. What
a snob.
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99. I can't
believe
you guys!
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100. The Brain is one
of our best friends.
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101. Then why won't he
come to my party?
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102. I... I don't know.
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103. Thanks for coming
to my party
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104. even though
it's at a silly
amusement park
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105. my daddy
has rented at
great expense.
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106. I wouldn't
miss it, Muffy!
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107. I'm not a snob
like some people.
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108. Uh... uh... oh.
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109. Hi, Binky.
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110. The Brain is saying hello.
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111. I'm so honored!
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112. Thank you, Mr. Brain.
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113. Thank you.
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114. Ahem!
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115. Doesn't that
table look
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116. a little
crowded, Arthur?
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117. or do you think you're
better than us, too?
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118. I need to talk
to you later.
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119. No!D.W.!
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120. Arthur, hide me!
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121. You can't let
them get me!
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122. D.W., it's
just a bath.
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123. Nobody ever died
from taking a bath.
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124. Thanks, Eggs
Benedict Arnold!
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125. Some people get upset
over the craziest things.
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126. Hey, I wonder if the Brain...
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127. Wait, that's it!
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128. Arthur—
boy, am I glad to see you!
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129. Come in.
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130. Thanks.
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131. That's why they
think you're a snob.
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132. It's not true; I don't
think I'm better.
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133. I knew you didn't.
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134. But Brain, why won't you
go to Muffy's party?
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135. You wouldn't
understand.
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136. Are you afraid
of something?
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137. No... I think I'm
being called for dinner.
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138. I better get home.
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139. but this is your house!
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140. Binky,
guess what!
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141. I know what's wrong
with the Brain.
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142. He's...
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143. what are
you doing?
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144. Shh!
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145. Binky, no!
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146. Don't do it! Stop!
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147. What're
you doing?
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148. I had a perfect
shot at the snob.
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149. but the Brain's
not a snob.
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150. He's afraid
to go swimming.
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151. What! Is that true?
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152. I knew no one would understand.
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153. I'll be the class
laughingstock.
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154. I can't believe
I was so insensitive.
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155. You were just
afraid of swimming.
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156. What a dumb thing
to be afraid of!
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157. My hydrophobia
has prevented me
from engaging
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158. in a multitude
of peer-related
activities.
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159. In English, please.
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160. It really stinks, Binky.
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161. Brain, we're going
to cure you.
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162. We are?
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163. Yep, come on.
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164. I know just
the thing for it.
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165. Jump.
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166. I'm afraid
I'll sink!
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167. This is the only way
to learn how to swim.
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168. We'll save you
if you sink.
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169. I don't want to learn.
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170. I want to go home.
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171. You are going
to learn to swim
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172. and then
you are going
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173. to have fun at Waterworld!
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174. Uh, Binky,
I think
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175. we need to
start off
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176. with something
a little easier.
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177. Okay, Brain,
now just step
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178. onto that
top step.
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179. Good, now take
another step.
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180. Great! Now
another one.
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181. Arthur, Muffy's
party will be over
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182. before he gets
up to his neck!
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183. Up to my neck!
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184. No way am I going that far!
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185. I'm out of here!
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186. What good is
an aquarium going to do?
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187. It's just filled
with fish and dumb facts.
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188. If we can make
him feel
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189. like he's
in water
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190. without getting him wet
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191. we can cure him.
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192. Did you know that
sperm whales eat
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193. 60 tons of
plankton a year?
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194. Oh, come on.
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195. Let's get this over with.
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196. Now, Brain,
I want you to look
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197. into that fish tank
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198. and imagine you're
in there, underwater.
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199. Are you
imagining it?
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200. Are you scared?
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201. Hey, I think
we've cured him!
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202. What went wrong?
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203. I couldn't hold
my breath any longer.
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204. You weren't supposed
to hold your breath.
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205. I can't breathe underwater.
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206. I don't have gills.
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207. This was
a dumb idea.
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208. It was better
than making him
jump in the lake!
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209. Was not!
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210. Was too!
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211. Was not!
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212. Stop it!
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213. I really appreciate
you trying to help
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214. but it's not working.
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215. There are worse things
to be afraid of—
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216. like air.
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217. You should
look where...
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218. Or school...
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219. Hey, Brain,
watch out!
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220. Or... whoa! Whoa!
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221. Somebody help me!
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222. Oh, thank you!
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223. You guys just
saved my life!
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224. I was really scared.
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225. You know
something,
Brain?
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226. So was I.
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227. Me, too.
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228. That was fun!
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229. It's too bad
the Brain couldn't come.
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230. Just because he
doesn't like to swim
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231. doesn't mean he's
not our friend.
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232. I didn't try
to make him
like swimming.
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233. It would be boring
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234. if everybody
was the same.
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235. You guys wouldn't have
anything to fight about.
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236. I'm just glad
Brain's not a snob.
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237. I don't like snobs.
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238. By the way, Arthur, who
picked out your bathing suit?
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239. It's so tacky.
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240. I'm glad the Brain
is the way he is.
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241. Otherwise
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242. the towels would be
as wet as we are.
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243. Hi, guys!
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244. And now...
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245. I'm afraid of heights.
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246. I'm afraid of sharks.
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247. I'm afraid of a dog.
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248. Water...
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249. Alligators...
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250. Bats...
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251. I'm afraid of bugs.
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252. Spiders...
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253. I'm afraid
of lightning and thunder.
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254. Today we're helping each other
with our fears.
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255. I have a fear of caterpillars.
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256. You're afraid
of caterpillars?
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257. Yeah.
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258. I have a solution.
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259. What is it?
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260. Well, why don't you just
not look down at them?
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261. Okay, thanks.
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262. A bulldog.
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263. Alex, if you're scared
of bulldogs
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264. you should call for help.
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265. Thanks, Kara.
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266. I'm afraid of mice.
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267. If you're afraid
of mice
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268. why don't you get
some mousetraps?
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269. Thanks, Eric.
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270. I'm afraid of snakes.
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271. If you're afraid
of snakes
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272. why don't you just
put them in a box
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273. like I drew
in my picture?
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274. Hey, thanks, good idea.
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275. I'm afraid of the dark.
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276. Alicia, if you're afraid
of the dark
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277. you should go to sleep
like this.
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278. By the time you wake up,
it'll be daytime.
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279. Thanks, Jennifer.
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280. You're welcome.
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281. Don't be afraid.
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282. And now...
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283. Listen to this.
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284. This is a funny joke.
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285. A monkey and a banana
walk down the street in a car.
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286. No, wait— an apple and a banana
are driving a monkey...
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287. driving a car with a monkey...
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288. no, the monkey's driving...
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289. I messed it up again.
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290. Okay, a monkey's driving
a banana...
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291. A monkey's driving a bus
full of apples and bananas—
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292. Oranges, they're oranges.
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293. A monkey is driving a bus...
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294. Okay, I've got it.
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295. It's funny, this is funny.
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296. I almost wrecked it.
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297. It has to be orange
because the punch line is
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298. "Orange you glad
I didn't say banana?"
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299. Oh, man, I said the punch line.
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300. Hi.
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301. Mom!
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302. D.W. used my pencil sharpener
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303. to sharpen crayons again.
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304. Did not!
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305. Then how come
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306. it's full
of crayon?
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307. D.W.:
Pal did it!
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308. He couldn't.
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309. He doesn't
have thumbs.
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310. Got to go.
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311. Dear Buster, how is it
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312. traveling to foreign countries
with your dad?
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313. I wish D.W. would go
to a foreign country.
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314. D.W.:
I heard that.
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315. Everyone is raising money
for the Elwood City library.
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316. Mrs. McGrady is having
a bake sale
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317. to raise money for new books.
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318. For someone who says
he doesn't like to read
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319. Binky sure paid
for a lot of books.
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320. Mr. Crosswire is raffling off
a new car.
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321. And Muffy decided to have
a backyard carnival.
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322. We'll put activity
booths there
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323. and a Ferris wheel back there.
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324. We need a main show.
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325. What's the
best thing to do
to raise money?
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326. Let's set up
a particle accelerator
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327. like the one created
by Simon van der Meer.
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328. Then shrink people down
to subatomic size
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329. so they can examine ions
and nucleic structure up close.
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330. What a thrill ride
that would be.
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331. What? Is that
even possible?
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332. She didn't say
it had to be possible.
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333. She said "the best thing."
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334. Hmm.
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335. Sounded cool to me.
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336. I've got it!
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337. A gigantic shopping plaza
full of clothes.
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338. Blah!
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339. Shopping is boring.
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340. I'm not paying for
a pasteurizing agitator.
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341. Particle accelerator.
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342. I wish Buster
were here.
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343. He'd say let's tell jokes
or be clowns.
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344. What a great idea!
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345. This is a carnival.
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346. We can all be clowns.
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347. Thanks,
Arthur.
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348. We agreed to be clowns
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349. and tried out all
the funny things we could do.
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350. I told them a joke
you told me—
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351. the one about the shoe store?
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352. And he says,
"Hide, hide, a cow's outside."
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353. And the other guy says,
"I don't care.
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354. I'm not afraid of any cow."
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355. Get it?
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356. Oh, yeah, we get it.
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357. Yes, the shoes were
made of leather
or cowhide.
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358. He's not funny.
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359. If Arthur's a clown,
he'll ruin my carnival.
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360. I'll talk to him.
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361. There are other jobs
besides a clown
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362. that you can do
at the carnival.
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363. But I can be funny.
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364. I know it.
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365. I used to make Buster laugh
all the time.
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366. Maybe he was
just being polite.
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367. Once he laughed
so hard
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368. he squirted
a strawberry
thick shake
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369. through his nose.
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370. And you don't squirt
a whole strawberry
thick shake
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371. out your nose
just to be polite.
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372. Mom!
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373. Mom, can I ask you
a question?
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374. Am I funny?
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375. There's
nothing funny
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376. about not practicing
the piano all week.
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377. One thing I know, Buster—
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378. if mom wants you to practice,
you practice first
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379. and ask questions later.
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380. Now it's
your turn, Kate.
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381. I win!
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382. Let's play again.
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383. Kate thinks you're funny,
and I do, too.
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384. Your face is always hilarious.
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385. Har-har-har.
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386. You're just
jealous
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387. because I'm funnier
than you.
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388. Oh, it's hard
having a sister
who's perfect.
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389. You'll get used to it.
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390. Everyone is
laughing at me
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391. because
I'm not funny.
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392. I mean, they're not
laughing at me.
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393. You need a surefire joke.
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394. A guy who doesn't
hear well
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395. goes to buy shoes.
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396. That's the same
joke I told.
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397. Really? It's a very funny joke.
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398. Unless I tell it.
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399. Great, I'm a joke killer.
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400. Everyone here
can be clowns
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401. but not Arthur.
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402. The clown thing
was his idea.
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403. We'll hurt his feelings.
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404. Then make him a good clown
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405. because I will
not let him wreck
my carnival.
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406. That's when it started, Buster.
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407. I got it.
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408. Sue Ellen came by to teach me
to juggle.
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409. After a while, she gave up.
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410. Then the Brain taught me jokes.
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411. But I didn't really
understand them.
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412. Don't you get it?
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413. Helium is a noble gas.
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414. Oh.
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415. What?
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416. I couldn't make faces
like Binky.
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417. Muffy even hired
Pickles the clown
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418. to teach me
professional clowning.
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419. No, I'm not clowning.
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420. That was a real sneeze.
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421. Pickles had to leave
because he's allergic to dogs
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422. but he gave me some advice.
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423. Kid, forget about ever having
huge feet and a big, round nose.
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424. You heard him
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425. and he's the biggest clown
in town.
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426. I heard about a kid
with no sense of humor.
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427. He grew up to be...
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428. Mr. Ratburn.
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429. 8 times 7 divided by 4.
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430. Quickly, quickly.
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431. He's the future
Ratburn.
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432. Run for your life!
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433. Get away
from the Rat.
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434. Girls are
scientifically
inexplicable.
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435. You said it.
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436. That means weird, right?
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437. Yeah.
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438. You said it.
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439. Look out, it's...
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440. Hold it, you're right.
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441. I'm not funny.
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442. I don't have to be a clown.
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443. Not everybody
has to be funny.
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444. If everyone was funny
like people on TV
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445. there'd be no reason
to watch TV.
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446. Then the people
who make shows
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447. would have no jobs
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448. and the companies
that advertised
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449. would go out
of business.
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450. So by not being funny
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451. I'm saving the jobs of thousands
and thousands of people
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452. and their families.
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453. Wow!
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454. I hope someday I can be
as important as Arthur.
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455. So the day of
the carnival came.
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456. I was the piano player.
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457. Poor guy.
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458. I hope you're happy.
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459. You know, when I really
think about it, I am.
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460. Arthur looks
so funny.
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461. He's in a suit.
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462. Listen to all those
mistakes he's making.
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463. Listen to
those laughs.
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464. Wow! We must be
really good.
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465. Let's take a bow.
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466. Um... they're
laughing at him.
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467. Cut that out!
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468. Oh, sorry,
I was playing with Kate.
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469. Bravo!
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470. Encore!
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471. Bravo!
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472. They like it.
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473. Arthur, keep going.
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474. I can't believe everybody
liked what I did.
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475. Either can I.
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476. You do it every day.
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477. Big deal.
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478. Congratulations, kid.
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479. Shake.
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480. What works for me
didn't work for you.
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481. So you found
your own individual
way to do it.
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482. Yeah, how'd I do that?
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483. When there's one way
to do something
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484. that doesn't mean
it's the only way.
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485. Everybody's got
a different style.
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486. Don't be afraid
to find yours.
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487. I'll remember that,
Mr. Pickles.
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488. So Francine was wrong.
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489. I was funny.
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490. I just hadn't found
my style yet.
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491. Now, if only
I could find a style
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492. that would get me
an "A" in math.
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493. Write back soon.
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494. Your friend, Arthur.
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