1. Hey!Copy !req
2. Hey!Copy !req
3. Hey!Copy !req
4. Hey!Copy !req
5. Hey!Copy !req
6. Hey, DW!Copy !req
7. Hey!Copy !req
8. Whoa...Copy !req
9. Oh, an earthquake!Copy !req
10. Bionic Bunny is on the way!Copy !req
11. A lot of people ask me,
"Bionic Bunny,Copy !req
12. what's the hardest part
of being a superhero?"Copy !req
13. And I tell them,
"Laying off the sweetsCopy !req
14. so I can fit into
the tights!"Copy !req
15. But seriously,
lifting heavy objectsCopy !req
16. isn't the hardest part
of being a superhero.Copy !req
17. Coming up with incredibly
creative solutionsCopy !req
18. to natural disasters
isn't the hardest part either.Copy !req
19. Even knowing the correct knot
to seal up an earthquake isn't.Copy !req
20. Bionic Bunny,
what an honor!Copy !req
21. Could you please sign
my Bionic BunnyCopy !req
22. limited edition coffee mug?Copy !req
23. Why, certainly, young man.Copy !req
24. To whom would you like me
to make it...Copy !req
25. Uh-oh.Copy !req
26. The hardest part of being
a superhero is...Copy !req
27. The fans!Copy !req
28. "With just seconds left
in the game,Copy !req
29. "Alberto Molina passed
three Bloomfield BuzzardsCopy !req
30. "and scored the winning goal,Copy !req
31. making his team the country's
junior soccer champions!"Copy !req
32. I only passed two defenders,
not three.Copy !req
33. You're too modest.Copy !req
34. We need to paste this
into your scrapbook together.Copy !req
35. I'd love to, Papi,Copy !req
36. but I promised Arthur
he could join meCopy !req
37. for my morning run.Copy !req
38. Yes, yes, of course.Copy !req
39. You must stay in shape
for next season.Copy !req
40. Go, superstar!Copy !req
41. The newspaper got it wrong.Copy !req
42. You didn't dribble past
three defendersCopy !req
43. to score the winning goal.Copy !req
44. I know, it was only...Copy !req
45. Fore!
Duck!Copy !req
46. Oh, thanks for catching that.Copy !req
47. I'm helping Chip
work on his swingCopy !req
48. for an upcoming
golf tournament.Copy !req
49. You might want to help him
work on holding onto his club.Copy !req
50. He almost hit Alberto.Copy !req
51. Ah, there it is!Copy !req
52. Do us a favor, sport,Copy !req
53. and pass my five iron,
would you?Copy !req
54. Mind if I try
to hit this to you?Copy !req
55. I've always wanted
to give golf a try.Copy !req
56. You don't just
"give golf a try."Copy !req
57. It takes years of practice.Copy !req
58. It's easy to pick up
a club,Copy !req
59. but a lot harder to use it.Copy !req
60. Well, there's a lot more to golf
than one lucky shot.Copy !req
61. Well, there's
a lot more to golfCopy !req
62. than hitting a bunch
of long shots perfectly.Copy !req
63. Well, there's a lot more to golf
than having a great short game.Copy !req
64. Oh, okay.Copy !req
65. What else should I try?Copy !req
66. How about playing
on a real golf course?Copy !req
67. Under pressure!Copy !req
68. Alberto eats pressure
for breakfast.Copy !req
69. With bacon!Copy !req
70. Well, I'm happy to meet you
for a friendly game next Friday.Copy !req
71. Great!Copy !req
72. Be prepared to face
the Chipinator.Copy !req
73. Hope you've got
a good caddy.Copy !req
74. The best.Copy !req
75. And you're looking at him.Copy !req
76. What's a caddy?Copy !req
77. Beats me.Copy !req
78. I've never played this game
before in my life.Copy !req
79. My dad said you could
borrow his old clubsCopy !req
80. from when he was
a teenager.Copy !req
81. And I got a book
on caddying:Copy !req
82. McKinley MacAdie'sCopy !req
83. Advice For Laddies
from the Daddy of Caddies.Copy !req
84. You're playing golf?Copy !req
85. Oh, uh...Copy !req
86. That is a fantastic idea!Copy !req
87. Next Friday he's going
to be playing Chip CrosswireCopy !req
88. at the country club.Copy !req
89. Next Friday?Copy !req
90. Oh, I have a dentist
appointment.Copy !req
91. No!Copy !req
92. I will reschedule it.Copy !req
93. Papi, please don't.Copy !req
94. Nonsense.Copy !req
95. It's no trouble.Copy !req
96. Just a silly root canal.Copy !req
97. "A caddy carries a golf player's
bag and clubs,Copy !req
98. "gives advice on how to play,Copy !req
99. "and most importantly,
provides moral support.Copy !req
100. Whatever a golfer needs,
a good caddy is there."Copy !req
101. It's the British OpenCopy !req
102. and we're one stroke behind
world champion Jaguar Forest.Copy !req
103. Which club should I use?Copy !req
104. The sun's in my eyes.Copy !req
105. I'm hungry.Copy !req
106. Ahh, turkey!Copy !req
107. My favorite!Copy !req
108. After reading some of this book
last night,Copy !req
109. I came up with some great
training exercises.Copy !req
110. Wait!Copy !req
111. Before you start,Copy !req
112. how about some delicious
protein smoothiesCopy !req
113. to give you energy?Copy !req
114. Then I will drive you
to the public golf course.Copy !req
115. That's okay, Papi.Copy !req
116. We're going to go practice
in the park.Copy !req
117. Come on, Arthur, let's go.Copy !req
118. Okay.Copy !req
119. I guess you want to keep
your training top secret.Copy !req
120. Good plan.Copy !req
121. Why were you in such a hurry
to get away from your dad?Copy !req
122. Whenever I get involved
with a sport,Copy !req
123. he makes such a big deal
out of it.Copy !req
124. It embarrasses me.Copy !req
125. Like when I was doing kendo,Copy !req
126. he brought cupcakes
to every practice.Copy !req
127. And no matter
what game I play,Copy !req
128. he takes a photograph
and sends it to the local paper.Copy !req
129. That does sound pretty
embarrassing.Copy !req
130. But at least he's
really proud of you.Copy !req
131. I know, but I just wish
he didn't go so over the top.Copy !req
132. Tails.Copy !req
133. Alberto goes first.Copy !req
134. Sorry I'm late.Copy !req
135. I was at the t-shirt store,
getting these.Copy !req
136. "The Dean of the Green."Copy !req
137. What do you think
of your new nickname?Copy !req
138. It, um, certainly stands out.Copy !req
139. I knew you would like it.Copy !req
140. Here, Arthur, put one on.Copy !req
141. That's okay, Mr. Molina.Copy !req
142. Excuse me.Copy !req
143. I'm all about making
a fashion statement,Copy !req
144. but it's time for Alberto
to face the Chipinator.Copy !req
145. Here we go.Copy !req
146. What?Copy !req
147. It is the horn of courage.Copy !req
148. You can do it,
Dean of the Green.Copy !req
149. The grass was wet
and I slipped.Copy !req
150. I'm going to take a mulligan.Copy !req
151. Mulligan?Copy !req
152. Who is this "Mulligan"?Copy !req
153. A mulligan is a term
for a do-over.Copy !req
154. You're allowed to take one
on the first tee.Copy !req
155. Even with your "mulligan"Copy !req
156. I think the Dean of the Green
has hit the ball farther.Copy !req
157. Wait, put these
electrolytes in it.Copy !req
158. They will restore
your energy.Copy !req
159. Go, Dean of the Green!Copy !req
160. The 13-year-old
golfing machine!Copy !req
161. Dean of the Green,
watch him strut.Copy !req
162. To win the game,Copy !req
163. he'll sink this putt.Copy !req
164. Alberto, Alberto!Copy !req
165. Here's your scorecard,
Alberto.Copy !req
166. Good show, old man.Copy !req
167. I've got to say, you've got
a lot of natural talent.Copy !req
168. Did you hear that,
Alberto?Copy !req
169. You're a natural.Copy !req
170. Papi, please.Copy !req
171. Here, give me
your scorecard.Copy !req
172. We'll take it right home
and put it in the scrapbook.Copy !req
173. And then next time...Copy !req
174. There isn't going to be
a next time.Copy !req
175. I'm not playing golf anymore.Copy !req
176. Why?Copy !req
177. Because you embarrass me
every time I play.Copy !req
178. And it's not just golf.Copy !req
179. It's all sports.Copy !req
180. Papi, I...Copy !req
181. The head of the
country club called.Copy !req
182. Your score was
so good todayCopy !req
183. that you qualified for
the club junior championship.Copy !req
184. I did?Copy !req
185. Oh.Copy !req
186. Well, I'm not sure...Copy !req
187. It's next Thursday,Copy !req
188. and although
I'd like to come, I'm...Copy !req
189. I'll be very busy
at the café that day.Copy !req
190. You're not coming?Copy !req
191. No, I'm sorry.Copy !req
192. But I shall be there
in spirit.Copy !req
193. I know you will do well.Copy !req
194. And even if you don't,Copy !req
195. have fun, okay?Copy !req
196. Harry Mills hereCopy !req
197. at the Elwood City Country Club
Junior Championship,Copy !req
198. where all eyes
are on Chip CrosswireCopy !req
199. and newcomer
Alberto Molina.Copy !req
200. As three-time club champion,Copy !req
201. the Chipster would like
to thank the communityCopy !req
202. for their support,Copy !req
203. and our father at Crosswire
Motors for his blimp.Copy !req
204. Go, Chip!Copy !req
205. Ready to play?Copy !req
206. It's been a rough game
for Alberto,Copy !req
207. and now he's three strokes
behind Chip.Copy !req
208. MR.
Alberto, Alberto,
he's full grown.Copy !req
209. And now he wants me
to leave him alone.Copy !req
210. I can't do it.Copy !req
211. Something's missing.Copy !req
212. "Whatever a golfer needs,
a good caddy is there."Copy !req
213. Hello, Molina residence.Copy !req
214. If we don't find that ball,
you'll be penalized a stroke.Copy !req
215. MR.
Here it is.Copy !req
216. Papi, you came.Copy !req
217. I mean...Copy !req
218. What are you doing here?Copy !req
219. Arthur called me.Copy !req
220. He thought you could maybe
use a cheerleader.Copy !req
221. Well, uh, maybe...Copy !req
222. I mean, I guess I could use
a little cheering.Copy !req
223. I understand.Copy !req
224. I will try to contain myself,Copy !req
225. if you give me a mulligan.Copy !req
226. What?Copy !req
227. A do-over.Copy !req
228. I would like
a second chance.Copy !req
229. What a Cinderella story.Copy !req
230. Alberto is just one putt away
from the championship.Copy !req
231. Go, Alberto!Copy !req
232. Shh.Copy !req
233. Let them play.Copy !req
234. I have something for you
to celebrate your win today.Copy !req
235. It isn't a parade, is it?Copy !req
236. No, no.Copy !req
237. Nothing too big.Copy !req
238. It's just a victory
empanada.Copy !req
239. Thanks.Copy !req
240. And I promise I will try
not to get too excitedCopy !req
241. about how talented you are
and embarrass you anymore.Copy !req
242. That was amazing!Copy !req
243. Have you considered
basketball?Copy !req
244. It was a joke.Copy !req
245. You professional athletes
take everything so seriously.Copy !req
246. And now...Copy !req
247. My name is Kiara, and this is
my second-grade class.Copy !req
248. What's something
that we do in hereCopy !req
249. after we do a really good job
at something?Copy !req
250. Cheers.Copy !req
251. Fantastic!Copy !req
252. Today, we're working on cheersCopy !req
253. like the ones Ramon did
for Alberto.Copy !req
254. Go, Dean of the Green,Copy !req
255. the 13-year-old golfing machine!Copy !req
256. Why do you think
they're like poetry?Copy !req
257. They rhyme.Copy !req
258. Because it sounds good
when you have them rhyming.Copy !req
259. Today, you and your partner are
going to make poetry cheers.Copy !req
260. What are some things I could
create a cheer about?Copy !req
261. Subjects in school.Copy !req
262. Baseball.Copy !req
263. You could do it about food.Copy !req
264. Here's some hot pepper!Copy !req
265. Put on a lot, a lot, a lot!Copy !req
266. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's hot, hot, hot!Copy !req
267. It's a fun writing project,
so we can work together.Copy !req
268. I think we should do
something that rhymes.Copy !req
269. Yeah.Copy !req
270. Something about nature.Copy !req
271. Dolphins, dolphins,
watch them go!Copy !req
272. Watch them go
so fast and slow!Copy !req
273. Basketball, basketball,
dribble, dribble!Copy !req
274. Make a shot
so we can fizzle!Copy !req
275. I hit five home runs,
I hit five doubles,Copy !req
276. I hit five singles,
but I struck out a lot.Copy !req
277. Reading, reading,
it's so fun!Copy !req
278. How many books
can you read in a day?Copy !req
279. In classroom 201,
the fun has just begun.Copy !req
280. We solve math problems
and read and write.Copy !req
281. We are friends
whose future is bright!Copy !req
282. Hooray!Copy !req
283. Arthur, Arthur in the tree,Copy !req
284. as happy as can be!Copy !req
285. And now...Copy !req
286. Many of you know that I have
a community gardenCopy !req
287. full of fresh fruits
and vegetables.Copy !req
288. But did you know I also have
a comedy garden?Copy !req
289. Come on, I'll show you around.Copy !req
290. Here's my clown nose bush.Copy !req
291. This one's not quite ready.Copy !req
292. Aha, this one's perfect!Copy !req
293. Here's where I grow
the squirting flowers.Copy !req
294. Smells like comedy.Copy !req
295. And if you look over here,
I've got some...Copy !req
296. Whoa!Copy !req
297. Forgot I put the banana peel
patch here.Copy !req
298. But my most prized possession
in the whole garden is this:Copy !req
299. my joke tree.Copy !req
300. Each branch bears
a hysterical new joke.Copy !req
301. Like this one.Copy !req
302. "What's the one word
a dog can say?Copy !req
303. Bark."Copy !req
304. Get it?Copy !req
305. Actually, that one's
kind of old.Copy !req
306. Let's try this one.Copy !req
307. "What's black and white
and red all over?Copy !req
308. A newspaper."Copy !req
309. Wait a minute,
everyone knows that one.Copy !req
310. "Why did the chicken
cross the road?"Copy !req
311. That's the oldest one
in the book.Copy !req
312. What's going on?Copy !req
313. This one's going to be good,
I promise.Copy !req
314. "What does someone say when he
reaches the top of a dead tree?Copy !req
315. Ah."Copy !req
316. Huh?Copy !req
317. I don't get it.Copy !req
318. Ah!Copy !req
319. I'm okay.Copy !req
320. So a couple of sausages
are sizzling in a frying pan.Copy !req
321. One sausage turns
to the other and says,Copy !req
322. "Man, is it hot in here!"Copy !req
323. And the other sausage says,Copy !req
324. "Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage!"Copy !req
325. Doesn't that joke kill?Copy !req
326. Ow.Copy !req
327. Well, my nose sure feels dead.Copy !req
328. And then he says,Copy !req
329. "Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage."Copy !req
330. Could you warn me next time?Copy !req
331. Pretty great, huh?Copy !req
332. It never fails.Copy !req
333. "Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage!"Copy !req
334. Get it?Copy !req
335. See?Copy !req
336. I'm a sausage
and I'm talking.Copy !req
337. "Hi, guys.Copy !req
338. La la la..."Copy !req
339. We got it
the first time.Copy !req
340. And the second
and third.Copy !req
341. The funny part was when water
shot out of Arthur's nose.Copy !req
342. Can you do that again?Copy !req
343. No way.Copy !req
344. I actually never thought
it was that funny.Copy !req
345. It was just that creepy image
of a talking sausage.Copy !req
346. It made me snort.Copy !req
347. Are you done telling it?Copy !req
348. I'm really thirsty.Copy !req
349. Yeah, I'm done.Copy !req
350. Finished.Copy !req
351. Kaput.Copy !req
352. I think I need
another dessert.Copy !req
353. Of course you're
still funny, Buster.Copy !req
354. I don't know.Copy !req
355. That joke used to always work.Copy !req
356. Now I can't even
get a giggle.Copy !req
357. That's just because
you're using day-old bread.Copy !req
358. No, I was using hot dogs.Copy !req
359. You think I should
use bread instead?Copy !req
360. What I mean is
you need some new jokes.Copy !req
361. Would you like it if I served
the same thing every day?Copy !req
362. Hmm...Copy !req
363. Could it be cake?Copy !req
364. Don't worry, Buster.Copy !req
365. You'll make 'em laugh again.Copy !req
366. Just go get some
fresh material.Copy !req
367. And this time,
make it somethingCopy !req
368. that doesn't involve
playing with your lunch.Copy !req
369. Thanks a lot,
Mrs. McGrady.Copy !req
370. Horst Schichter's
Compendium of Comedy.Copy !req
371. This is exactly what I need.Copy !req
372. Oof!Copy !req
373. Hi, ladies and germs.Copy !req
374. Welcome to the Great Baxterini's
prop comedy show.Copy !req
375. What a great crowd.Copy !req
376. Now remember,
don't try this at home.Copy !req
377. I am at home.Copy !req
378. Now, you don't like to have
seeds in your watermelon,Copy !req
379. do you, sir?Copy !req
380. Well, this is how
I like to get them out.Copy !req
381. Huh...Copy !req
382. Ow!Copy !req
383. Wow, does that hurt!Copy !req
384. Hey, come back.Copy !req
385. There.Copy !req
386. Wasn't that hysterical?Copy !req
387. You're going to clean
this up, right?Copy !req
388. You know,
there are things I noticeCopy !req
389. every day at this school
that are just hysterical.Copy !req
390. Like the see-saw.Copy !req
391. It doesn't look like
a "C" or a "saw."Copy !req
392. Why is it called that?Copy !req
393. Maybe they should
just call itCopy !req
394. the "I-don't-see-the-point-saw."Copy !req
395. Hey, I've got a question
for you.Copy !req
396. If fish swim in schools,
do they get homework?Copy !req
397. See, it's funny
because their school is...Copy !req
398. not like our school?Copy !req
399. Hey, what's up with monkey bars?Copy !req
400. Why aren't there
any monkeys on them?Copy !req
401. Because there are no wild
monkeys in North America.Copy !req
402. I suppose one could escape
from the zoo...Copy !req
403. That'd be scary.Copy !req
404. My dad knew someone who was
bitten by a monkey once.Copy !req
405. Oh, that can be
quite dangerous.Copy !req
406. Did he get a rabies shot?Copy !req
407. Okay, okay,
forget the monkey bars.Copy !req
408. Hey, you know what's funny?Copy !req
409. Yes.Copy !req
410. "Funny" is an adjective.Copy !req
411. causing laughter
or amusement.Copy !req
412. Synonyms are "comical,"
"humorous,"droll"...Copy !req
413. I'll tell you
what funny isn't.Copy !req
414. This.Copy !req
415. Oh, never mind.Copy !req
416. According to Horst Schichter's
Compendium of Comedy,Copy !req
417. this has to get a laugh.Copy !req
418. I don't know, Buster.Copy !req
419. I feel kind of funny
about this.Copy !req
420. Funny is good.Copy !req
421. Hold that thought.Copy !req
422. Now let's get started.Copy !req
423. Are you sure
you want me to?Copy !req
424. Arthur, if you are
truly my friend,Copy !req
425. you will hit me
in the face with that pie.Copy !req
426. Why aren't you laughing?Copy !req
427. Because it wasn't funny.Copy !req
428. Try the cherry.Copy !req
429. Anything?Copy !req
430. Sorry.Copy !req
431. All I feel is grossed out.Copy !req
432. I don't understand.Copy !req
433. This is supposed to be
a guaranteed laugh.Copy !req
434. There's quiche in the fridge.Copy !req
435. Let's try that.Copy !req
436. What is going on here?Copy !req
437. Um, Arthur's helping meCopy !req
438. with my comedy homework.Copy !req
439. So I've been experimentingCopy !req
440. with all different types
of comedy,Copy !req
441. but no matter what I do,
I still can't get a laugh.Copy !req
442. Well, I think you're funny.Copy !req
443. Thanks.Copy !req
444. But you're my mom.Copy !req
445. You'd even laugh
at my mitten joke.Copy !req
446. What's your mitten joke?Copy !req
447. What did the mitten say
to the hat?Copy !req
448. "I'll stay here;
you go on ahead."Copy !req
449. See?Copy !req
450. Well, I know something
that'll cheer you up.Copy !req
451. "This Sunday
at Elwood City Books,Copy !req
452. "comedian Vince Ruckles
will sign copiesCopy !req
453. of his autobiography
My Yucky Life."Copy !req
454. Vince Ruckles?Copy !req
455. He's my hero.Copy !req
456. I have all his CDs.Copy !req
457. I know.Copy !req
458. You and your father
did his routinesCopy !req
459. for hours and hours.Copy !req
460. Can we go, Mom?Copy !req
461. Please, please,
pretty please?Copy !req
462. Only if you promise never
to do your comedy homeworkCopy !req
463. in my kitchen again.Copy !req
464. "Molina."Copy !req
465. Any relation
to Stanwood Molina?Copy !req
466. No.Copy !req
467. Who is he?Copy !req
468. Beats me.Copy !req
469. He's not a relative
of mine either.Copy !req
470. Next.Copy !req
471. Hey, kid.Copy !req
472. Who do I make it out to?Copy !req
473. Um, Buster Baxter?Copy !req
474. Is that two m's in the "um"?Copy !req
475. You haven't lost your touch,
Mr. Ruckles.Copy !req
476. I wish I could say the same.Copy !req
477. What happened, kid?Copy !req
478. You sprain your funny bone?Copy !req
479. Broke it is more like it.Copy !req
480. I bet you never
went through a slumpCopy !req
481. where you couldn't make
anyone laugh.Copy !req
482. Are you kidding?Copy !req
483. Read chapters two through 12.Copy !req
484. What did you do about it?Copy !req
485. I stopped trying to be funny.Copy !req
486. That's a good one.Copy !req
487. Actually, that wasn't a joke.Copy !req
488. Trying to be funny is like
trying to have fun.Copy !req
489. Usually, the harder you try,
the less fun it is.Copy !req
490. So what do I do?Copy !req
491. Just be yourself.Copy !req
492. And if you can't do that,
be Whoopie Studdlemeyer.Copy !req
493. Who's that?Copy !req
494. I don't know,Copy !req
495. but at least he's got
a funny name.Copy !req
496. Next.Copy !req
497. I bet I know what you want,
Buster.Copy !req
498. A pair of talking
hot dogs?Copy !req
499. Actually, I think I'll have
the fish sticks instead.Copy !req
500. Let me guess.Copy !req
501. You've got some fish jokes
up your sleeve?Copy !req
502. A fish joke?Copy !req
503. I wish.Copy !req
504. When I look at my lunch,
I just see food.Copy !req
505. "See food"?Copy !req
506. I get it.Copy !req
507. That's a good one.Copy !req
508. It is?Copy !req
509. Huh.Copy !req
510. I wasn't even fishing
for a laugh.Copy !req
511. You're on fire today.Copy !req
512. Hey, guys.Copy !req
513. So what kind of comedy
are you trying today?Copy !req
514. Knock-knock jokes?Copy !req
515. No, I'm done trying
to be funny.Copy !req
516. I may never be
funny again,Copy !req
517. but at least I won't have
whipped cream in my ears.Copy !req
518. What?Copy !req
519. It's true.Copy !req
520. I also found some cherry
filling in my shoes.Copy !req
521. At least my feet
smelled good.Copy !req
522. Is this a new
stand-up routine?Copy !req
523. No way.Copy !req
524. I'd rather do sit-ups
than stand-up.Copy !req
525. And I'm never going to kick
a watermelon again.Copy !req
526. Only zucchinis.Copy !req
527. Why zucchinis?Copy !req
528. They squash.Copy !req
529. Thank you, Vince Ruckles.Copy !req
530. Okay, can we eat lunch already?Copy !req
531. My fish sticks are
turning into fish stones.Copy !req
532. You made me do it again.Copy !req
533. It's not my fault.Copy !req
534. Stop laughing.Copy !req
535. You stop being funny.Copy !req
536. I'm trying.Copy !req
537. Okay, everyone think
serious thoughts.Copy !req
538. That so did not work.Copy !req
539. To watch more ArthurCopy !req
540. and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,Copy !req
541. visit pbskids.org.Copy !req
542. You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books, tooCopy !req
543. at your local library.Copy !req