1. Hey!
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2. Hey!
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3. Hey!
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4. Hey!
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5. Hey!
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6. Hey, DW!
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7. Hey!
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8. Whoa...
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9. Oh, an earthquake!
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10. Bionic Bunny is on the way!
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11. A lot of people ask me,
"Bionic Bunny,
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12. what's the hardest part
of being a superhero?"
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13. And I tell them,
"Laying off the sweets
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14. so I can fit into
the tights!"
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15. But seriously,
lifting heavy objects
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16. isn't the hardest part
of being a superhero.
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17. Coming up with incredibly
creative solutions
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18. to natural disasters
isn't the hardest part either.
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19. Even knowing the correct knot
to seal up an earthquake isn't.
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20. Bionic Bunny,
what an honor!
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21. Could you please sign
my Bionic Bunny
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22. limited edition coffee mug?
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23. Why, certainly, young man.
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24. To whom would you like me
to make it...
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25. Uh-oh.
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26. The hardest part of being
a superhero is...
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27. The fans!
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28. "With just seconds left
in the game,
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29. "Alberto Molina passed
three Bloomfield Buzzards
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30. "and scored the winning goal,
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31. making his team the country's
junior soccer champions!"
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32. I only passed two defenders,
not three.
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33. You're too modest.
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34. We need to paste this
into your scrapbook together.
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35. I'd love to, Papi,
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36. but I promised Arthur
he could join me
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37. for my morning run.
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38. Yes, yes, of course.
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39. You must stay in shape
for next season.
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40. Go, superstar!
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41. The newspaper got it wrong.
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42. You didn't dribble past
three defenders
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43. to score the winning goal.
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44. I know, it was only...
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45. Fore!
Duck!
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46. Oh, thanks for catching that.
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47. I'm helping Chip
work on his swing
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48. for an upcoming
golf tournament.
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49. You might want to help him
work on holding onto his club.
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50. He almost hit Alberto.
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51. Ah, there it is!
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52. Do us a favor, sport,
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53. and pass my five iron,
would you?
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54. Mind if I try
to hit this to you?
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55. I've always wanted
to give golf a try.
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56. You don't just
"give golf a try."
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57. It takes years of practice.
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58. It's easy to pick up
a club,
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59. but a lot harder to use it.
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60. Well, there's a lot more to golf
than one lucky shot.
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61. Well, there's
a lot more to golf
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62. than hitting a bunch
of long shots perfectly.
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63. Well, there's a lot more to golf
than having a great short game.
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64. Oh, okay.
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65. What else should I try?
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66. How about playing
on a real golf course?
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67. Under pressure!
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68. Alberto eats pressure
for breakfast.
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69. With bacon!
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70. Well, I'm happy to meet you
for a friendly game next Friday.
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71. Great!
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72. Be prepared to face
the Chipinator.
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73. Hope you've got
a good caddy.
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74. The best.
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75. And you're looking at him.
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76. What's a caddy?
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77. Beats me.
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78. I've never played this game
before in my life.
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79. My dad said you could
borrow his old clubs
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80. from when he was
a teenager.
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81. And I got a book
on caddying:
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82. McKinley MacAdie's
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83. Advice For Laddies
from the Daddy of Caddies.
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84. You're playing golf?
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85. Oh, uh...
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86. That is a fantastic idea!
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87. Next Friday he's going
to be playing Chip Crosswire
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88. at the country club.
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89. Next Friday?
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90. Oh, I have a dentist
appointment.
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91. No!
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92. I will reschedule it.
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93. Papi, please don't.
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94. Nonsense.
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95. It's no trouble.
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96. Just a silly root canal.
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97. "A caddy carries a golf player's
bag and clubs,
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98. "gives advice on how to play,
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99. "and most importantly,
provides moral support.
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100. Whatever a golfer needs,
a good caddy is there."
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101. It's the British Open
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102. and we're one stroke behind
world champion Jaguar Forest.
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103. Which club should I use?
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104. The sun's in my eyes.
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105. I'm hungry.
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106. Ahh, turkey!
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107. My favorite!
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108. After reading some of this book
last night,
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109. I came up with some great
training exercises.
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110. Wait!
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111. Before you start,
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112. how about some delicious
protein smoothies
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113. to give you energy?
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114. Then I will drive you
to the public golf course.
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115. That's okay, Papi.
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116. We're going to go practice
in the park.
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117. Come on, Arthur, let's go.
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118. Okay.
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119. I guess you want to keep
your training top secret.
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120. Good plan.
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121. Why were you in such a hurry
to get away from your dad?
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122. Whenever I get involved
with a sport,
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123. he makes such a big deal
out of it.
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124. It embarrasses me.
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125. Like when I was doing kendo,
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126. he brought cupcakes
to every practice.
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127. And no matter
what game I play,
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128. he takes a photograph
and sends it to the local paper.
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129. That does sound pretty
embarrassing.
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130. But at least he's
really proud of you.
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131. I know, but I just wish
he didn't go so over the top.
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132. Tails.
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133. Alberto goes first.
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134. Sorry I'm late.
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135. I was at the t-shirt store,
getting these.
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136. "The Dean of the Green."
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137. What do you think
of your new nickname?
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138. It, um, certainly stands out.
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139. I knew you would like it.
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140. Here, Arthur, put one on.
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141. That's okay, Mr. Molina.
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142. Excuse me.
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143. I'm all about making
a fashion statement,
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144. but it's time for Alberto
to face the Chipinator.
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145. Here we go.
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146. What?
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147. It is the horn of courage.
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148. You can do it,
Dean of the Green.
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149. The grass was wet
and I slipped.
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150. I'm going to take a mulligan.
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151. Mulligan?
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152. Who is this "Mulligan"?
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153. A mulligan is a term
for a do-over.
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154. You're allowed to take one
on the first tee.
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155. Even with your "mulligan"
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156. I think the Dean of the Green
has hit the ball farther.
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157. Wait, put these
electrolytes in it.
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158. They will restore
your energy.
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159. Go, Dean of the Green!
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160. The 13-year-old
golfing machine!
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161. Dean of the Green,
watch him strut.
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162. To win the game,
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163. he'll sink this putt.
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164. Alberto, Alberto!
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165. Here's your scorecard,
Alberto.
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166. Good show, old man.
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167. I've got to say, you've got
a lot of natural talent.
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168. Did you hear that,
Alberto?
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169. You're a natural.
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170. Papi, please.
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171. Here, give me
your scorecard.
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172. We'll take it right home
and put it in the scrapbook.
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173. And then next time...
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174. There isn't going to be
a next time.
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175. I'm not playing golf anymore.
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176. Why?
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177. Because you embarrass me
every time I play.
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178. And it's not just golf.
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179. It's all sports.
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180. Papi, I...
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181. The head of the
country club called.
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182. Your score was
so good today
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183. that you qualified for
the club junior championship.
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184. I did?
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185. Oh.
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186. Well, I'm not sure...
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187. It's next Thursday,
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188. and although
I'd like to come, I'm...
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189. I'll be very busy
at the café that day.
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190. You're not coming?
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191. No, I'm sorry.
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192. But I shall be there
in spirit.
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193. I know you will do well.
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194. And even if you don't,
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195. have fun, okay?
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196. Harry Mills here
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197. at the Elwood City Country Club
Junior Championship,
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198. where all eyes
are on Chip Crosswire
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199. and newcomer
Alberto Molina.
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200. As three-time club champion,
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201. the Chipster would like
to thank the community
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202. for their support,
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203. and our father at Crosswire
Motors for his blimp.
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204. Go, Chip!
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205. Ready to play?
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206. It's been a rough game
for Alberto,
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207. and now he's three strokes
behind Chip.
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208. MR.
Alberto, Alberto,
he's full grown.
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209. And now he wants me
to leave him alone.
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210. I can't do it.
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211. Something's missing.
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212. "Whatever a golfer needs,
a good caddy is there."
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213. Hello, Molina residence.
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214. If we don't find that ball,
you'll be penalized a stroke.
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215. MR.
Here it is.
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216. Papi, you came.
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217. I mean...
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218. What are you doing here?
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219. Arthur called me.
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220. He thought you could maybe
use a cheerleader.
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221. Well, uh, maybe...
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222. I mean, I guess I could use
a little cheering.
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223. I understand.
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224. I will try to contain myself,
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225. if you give me a mulligan.
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226. What?
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227. A do-over.
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228. I would like
a second chance.
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229. What a Cinderella story.
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230. Alberto is just one putt away
from the championship.
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231. Go, Alberto!
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232. Shh.
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233. Let them play.
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234. I have something for you
to celebrate your win today.
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235. It isn't a parade, is it?
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236. No, no.
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237. Nothing too big.
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238. It's just a victory
empanada.
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239. Thanks.
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240. And I promise I will try
not to get too excited
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241. about how talented you are
and embarrass you anymore.
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242. That was amazing!
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243. Have you considered
basketball?
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244. It was a joke.
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245. You professional athletes
take everything so seriously.
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246. And now...
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247. My name is Kiara, and this is
my second-grade class.
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248. What's something
that we do in here
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249. after we do a really good job
at something?
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250. Cheers.
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251. Fantastic!
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252. Today, we're working on cheers
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253. like the ones Ramon did
for Alberto.
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254. Go, Dean of the Green,
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255. the 13-year-old golfing machine!
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256. Why do you think
they're like poetry?
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257. They rhyme.
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258. Because it sounds good
when you have them rhyming.
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259. Today, you and your partner are
going to make poetry cheers.
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260. What are some things I could
create a cheer about?
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261. Subjects in school.
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262. Baseball.
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263. You could do it about food.
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264. Here's some hot pepper!
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265. Put on a lot, a lot, a lot!
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266. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's hot, hot, hot!
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267. It's a fun writing project,
so we can work together.
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268. I think we should do
something that rhymes.
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269. Yeah.
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270. Something about nature.
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271. Dolphins, dolphins,
watch them go!
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272. Watch them go
so fast and slow!
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273. Basketball, basketball,
dribble, dribble!
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274. Make a shot
so we can fizzle!
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275. I hit five home runs,
I hit five doubles,
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276. I hit five singles,
but I struck out a lot.
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277. Reading, reading,
it's so fun!
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278. How many books
can you read in a day?
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279. In classroom 201,
the fun has just begun.
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280. We solve math problems
and read and write.
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281. We are friends
whose future is bright!
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282. Hooray!
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283. Arthur, Arthur in the tree,
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284. as happy as can be!
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285. And now...
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286. Many of you know that I have
a community garden
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287. full of fresh fruits
and vegetables.
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288. But did you know I also have
a comedy garden?
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289. Come on, I'll show you around.
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290. Here's my clown nose bush.
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291. This one's not quite ready.
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292. Aha, this one's perfect!
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293. Here's where I grow
the squirting flowers.
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294. Smells like comedy.
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295. And if you look over here,
I've got some...
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296. Whoa!
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297. Forgot I put the banana peel
patch here.
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298. But my most prized possession
in the whole garden is this:
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299. my joke tree.
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300. Each branch bears
a hysterical new joke.
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301. Like this one.
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302. "What's the one word
a dog can say?
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303. Bark."
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304. Get it?
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305. Actually, that one's
kind of old.
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306. Let's try this one.
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307. "What's black and white
and red all over?
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308. A newspaper."
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309. Wait a minute,
everyone knows that one.
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310. "Why did the chicken
cross the road?"
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311. That's the oldest one
in the book.
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312. What's going on?
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313. This one's going to be good,
I promise.
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314. "What does someone say when he
reaches the top of a dead tree?
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315. Ah."
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316. Huh?
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317. I don't get it.
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318. Ah!
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319. I'm okay.
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320. So a couple of sausages
are sizzling in a frying pan.
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321. One sausage turns
to the other and says,
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322. "Man, is it hot in here!"
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323. And the other sausage says,
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324. "Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage!"
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325. Doesn't that joke kill?
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326. Ow.
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327. Well, my nose sure feels dead.
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328. And then he says,
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329. "Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage."
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330. Could you warn me next time?
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331. Pretty great, huh?
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332. It never fails.
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333. "Oh, my gosh,
a talking sausage!"
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334. Get it?
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335. See?
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336. I'm a sausage
and I'm talking.
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337. "Hi, guys.
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338. La la la..."
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339. We got it
the first time.
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340. And the second
and third.
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341. The funny part was when water
shot out of Arthur's nose.
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342. Can you do that again?
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343. No way.
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344. I actually never thought
it was that funny.
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345. It was just that creepy image
of a talking sausage.
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346. It made me snort.
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347. Are you done telling it?
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348. I'm really thirsty.
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349. Yeah, I'm done.
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350. Finished.
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351. Kaput.
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352. I think I need
another dessert.
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353. Of course you're
still funny, Buster.
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354. I don't know.
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355. That joke used to always work.
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356. Now I can't even
get a giggle.
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357. That's just because
you're using day-old bread.
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358. No, I was using hot dogs.
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359. You think I should
use bread instead?
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360. What I mean is
you need some new jokes.
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361. Would you like it if I served
the same thing every day?
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362. Hmm...
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363. Could it be cake?
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364. Don't worry, Buster.
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365. You'll make 'em laugh again.
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366. Just go get some
fresh material.
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367. And this time,
make it something
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368. that doesn't involve
playing with your lunch.
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369. Thanks a lot,
Mrs. McGrady.
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370. Horst Schichter's
Compendium of Comedy.
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371. This is exactly what I need.
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372. Oof!
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373. Hi, ladies and germs.
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374. Welcome to the Great Baxterini's
prop comedy show.
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375. What a great crowd.
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376. Now remember,
don't try this at home.
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377. I am at home.
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378. Now, you don't like to have
seeds in your watermelon,
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379. do you, sir?
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380. Well, this is how
I like to get them out.
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381. Huh...
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382. Ow!
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383. Wow, does that hurt!
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384. Hey, come back.
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385. There.
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386. Wasn't that hysterical?
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387. You're going to clean
this up, right?
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388. You know,
there are things I notice
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389. every day at this school
that are just hysterical.
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390. Like the see-saw.
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391. It doesn't look like
a "C" or a "saw."
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392. Why is it called that?
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393. Maybe they should
just call it
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394. the "I-don't-see-the-point-saw."
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395. Hey, I've got a question
for you.
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396. If fish swim in schools,
do they get homework?
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397. See, it's funny
because their school is...
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398. not like our school?
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399. Hey, what's up with monkey bars?
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400. Why aren't there
any monkeys on them?
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401. Because there are no wild
monkeys in North America.
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402. I suppose one could escape
from the zoo...
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403. That'd be scary.
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404. My dad knew someone who was
bitten by a monkey once.
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405. Oh, that can be
quite dangerous.
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406. Did he get a rabies shot?
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407. Okay, okay,
forget the monkey bars.
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408. Hey, you know what's funny?
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409. Yes.
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410. "Funny" is an adjective.
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411. causing laughter
or amusement.
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412. Synonyms are "comical,"
"humorous,"droll"...
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413. I'll tell you
what funny isn't.
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414. This.
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415. Oh, never mind.
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416. According to Horst Schichter's
Compendium of Comedy,
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417. this has to get a laugh.
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418. I don't know, Buster.
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419. I feel kind of funny
about this.
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420. Funny is good.
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421. Hold that thought.
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422. Now let's get started.
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423. Are you sure
you want me to?
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424. Arthur, if you are
truly my friend,
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425. you will hit me
in the face with that pie.
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426. Why aren't you laughing?
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427. Because it wasn't funny.
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428. Try the cherry.
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429. Anything?
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430. Sorry.
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431. All I feel is grossed out.
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432. I don't understand.
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433. This is supposed to be
a guaranteed laugh.
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434. There's quiche in the fridge.
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435. Let's try that.
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436. What is going on here?
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437. Um, Arthur's helping me
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438. with my comedy homework.
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439. So I've been experimenting
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440. with all different types
of comedy,
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441. but no matter what I do,
I still can't get a laugh.
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442. Well, I think you're funny.
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443. Thanks.
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444. But you're my mom.
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445. You'd even laugh
at my mitten joke.
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446. What's your mitten joke?
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447. What did the mitten say
to the hat?
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448. "I'll stay here;
you go on ahead."
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449. See?
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450. Well, I know something
that'll cheer you up.
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451. "This Sunday
at Elwood City Books,
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452. "comedian Vince Ruckles
will sign copies
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453. of his autobiography
My Yucky Life."
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454. Vince Ruckles?
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455. He's my hero.
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456. I have all his CDs.
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457. I know.
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458. You and your father
did his routines
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459. for hours and hours.
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460. Can we go, Mom?
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461. Please, please,
pretty please?
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462. Only if you promise never
to do your comedy homework
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463. in my kitchen again.
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464. "Molina."
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465. Any relation
to Stanwood Molina?
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466. No.
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467. Who is he?
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468. Beats me.
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469. He's not a relative
of mine either.
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470. Next.
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471. Hey, kid.
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472. Who do I make it out to?
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473. Um, Buster Baxter?
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474. Is that two m's in the "um"?
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475. You haven't lost your touch,
Mr. Ruckles.
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476. I wish I could say the same.
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477. What happened, kid?
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478. You sprain your funny bone?
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479. Broke it is more like it.
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480. I bet you never
went through a slump
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481. where you couldn't make
anyone laugh.
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482. Are you kidding?
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483. Read chapters two through 12.
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484. What did you do about it?
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485. I stopped trying to be funny.
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486. That's a good one.
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487. Actually, that wasn't a joke.
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488. Trying to be funny is like
trying to have fun.
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489. Usually, the harder you try,
the less fun it is.
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490. So what do I do?
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491. Just be yourself.
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492. And if you can't do that,
be Whoopie Studdlemeyer.
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493. Who's that?
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494. I don't know,
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495. but at least he's got
a funny name.
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496. Next.
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497. I bet I know what you want,
Buster.
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498. A pair of talking
hot dogs?
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499. Actually, I think I'll have
the fish sticks instead.
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500. Let me guess.
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501. You've got some fish jokes
up your sleeve?
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502. A fish joke?
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503. I wish.
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504. When I look at my lunch,
I just see food.
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505. "See food"?
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506. I get it.
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507. That's a good one.
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508. It is?
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509. Huh.
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510. I wasn't even fishing
for a laugh.
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511. You're on fire today.
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512. Hey, guys.
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513. So what kind of comedy
are you trying today?
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514. Knock-knock jokes?
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515. No, I'm done trying
to be funny.
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516. I may never be
funny again,
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517. but at least I won't have
whipped cream in my ears.
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518. What?
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519. It's true.
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520. I also found some cherry
filling in my shoes.
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521. At least my feet
smelled good.
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522. Is this a new
stand-up routine?
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523. No way.
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524. I'd rather do sit-ups
than stand-up.
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525. And I'm never going to kick
a watermelon again.
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526. Only zucchinis.
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527. Why zucchinis?
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528. They squash.
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529. Thank you, Vince Ruckles.
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530. Okay, can we eat lunch already?
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531. My fish sticks are
turning into fish stones.
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532. You made me do it again.
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533. It's not my fault.
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534. Stop laughing.
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535. You stop being funny.
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536. I'm trying.
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537. Okay, everyone think
serious thoughts.
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538. That so did not work.
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539. To watch more Arthur
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540. and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,
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541. visit pbskids.org.
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542. You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books, too
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543. at your local library.
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