1. Hey!Copy !req
2. Hey!Copy !req
3. Hey!Copy !req
4. Hey!Copy !req
5. Hey, D.W.Copy !req
6. Hey!Copy !req
7. Whoa!Copy !req
8. Hey, you guys, I'm doing a poll.Copy !req
9. That's her new thing,
poll doing.Copy !req
10. She saw it on TV.Copy !req
11. Children should
seek outCopy !req
12. the opinions of
elders they respect.Copy !req
13. Come on, D.W.Copy !req
14. you're bothering them.Copy !req
15. If she respects usCopy !req
16. the least we can do
is help, Arthur.Copy !req
17. Name something
you always wanted to do.Copy !req
18. I want to play a real
piano concert, okay?Copy !req
19. D.W.:
That's it?Copy !req
20. That's not so exciting.Copy !req
21. It is if you skydive
at the same time.Copy !req
22. I'd like to orbit SaturnCopy !req
23. So I could practice my drive
to the netCopy !req
24. without friction or gravity.Copy !req
25. What about you, big-head kid?Copy !req
26. I'm taking a poll.Copy !req
27. Is there anything
you've always
wanted to do?Copy !req
28. Um... yeah.Copy !req
29. Hey, look out there!Copy !req
30. Ahh.Copy !req
31. I always wanted
to do that.Copy !req
32. Aah!Copy !req
33. Oops.Copy !req
34. D.W.!Copy !req
35. Duck!Copy !req
36. I found another duck!Copy !req
37. Wow! Look
at this one!Copy !req
38. It kind of looks
like Francine.Copy !req
39. So which pile?Copy !req
40. That pile is big ones,
then small onesCopy !req
41. ones that look
like a duckCopy !req
42. and ones that look
like people we know.Copy !req
43. D.W.!Copy !req
44. You can have a chip
when we're done.Copy !req
45. But I want one now!Copy !req
46. Wait just five minutes.Copy !req
47. Please?Copy !req
48. No!Copy !req
49. Mom! Arthur
won't shareCopy !req
50. And it's my
house, tooCopy !req
51. because I live hereCopy !req
52. And I have
rights!Copy !req
53. There's no category
for this.Copy !req
54. Put it down carefully.Copy !req
55. Arthur, would you
please come here?Copy !req
56. Can't you let D.W. have
one potato chip?Copy !req
57. We will.Copy !req
58. I already told her.Copy !req
59. We're the
potato chip club.Copy !req
60. We must organize
the chips all by
official categories.Copy !req
61. But we'll share
with her when
we're done.Copy !req
62. This is the most
beautiful, greeny thing.Copy !req
63. I want to keep it always.Copy !req
64. D.W., the boys will
give you a chipCopy !req
65. in five minutes.Copy !req
66. Let's call it "big green—Copy !req
67. the eighth wonder
of the world."Copy !req
68. Big green is gone!Copy !req
69. D.W.
D.W.Copy !req
70. I know how to get
her to confess.Copy !req
71. I am so much smarter
than Arthur.Copy !req
72. I almost ate a green
potato chip once.Copy !req
73. You're lucky to be alive.Copy !req
74. Green chips are poison
and there's no cure.Copy !req
75. I know, after you eat
a green oneCopy !req
76. it's only
a matter of time.Copy !req
77. I can't believe you
ate a green chip.Copy !req
78. There were others
to choose from.Copy !req
79. It was pretty.Copy !req
80. Your shoes
are prettyCopy !req
81. but you don't
eat them.Copy !req
82. They're not
salty and crunchy.Copy !req
83. I was sure D.W. would
go screaming to Mom.Copy !req
84. She probably knew
you made upCopy !req
85. that green potato
chips are poison.Copy !req
86. Or maybe she didn't
eat it.Copy !req
87. Yeah, I guess
pal ate it.Copy !req
88. You'd better
tell your mom.Copy !req
89. I can't— she told me
not to do it.Copy !req
90. If these are
my last days of lifeCopy !req
91. I don't want Mommy mad at me.Copy !req
92. Maybe Arthur was fooling—
do you knowCopy !req
93. if the green ones
are really poison?Copy !req
94. I don't know anything
you don't know.Copy !req
95. I've got to find out.Copy !req
96. I've got to ask
someone who'd know.Copy !req
97. Hi, D.W.Copy !req
98. That kid is trying
to swing over the bar.Copy !req
99. He's cool.Copy !req
100. Yeah, what do you know
about green potato chips?Copy !req
101. You mean
the poison ones?Copy !req
102. Hey, Arthur's sisterCopy !req
103. What about green
potato chips?Copy !req
104. They're poison.Copy !req
105. What?Copy !req
106. I ate a green one
two days ago.Copy !req
107. Then you have
even less time
left than I do.Copy !req
108. Hey, who are you pushing?Copy !req
109. Oh.Copy !req
110. You're spending
your last momentsCopy !req
111. Just swinging?Copy !req
112. Not just swinging.Copy !req
113. I'm trying to ride
over the bar.Copy !req
114. But your life
is almost over.Copy !req
115. Soon this will be you.Copy !req
116. that's what my Dad
looks like sleeping.Copy !req
117. Big-head kid, this is
like a tragedy.Copy !req
118. You've heard
of death?Copy !req
119. From now on, I'll
act like every dayCopy !req
120. is my last day—
because it might be.Copy !req
121. Hey, this is serious, huh?Copy !req
122. How much string
is that?Copy !req
123. Five rolls.Copy !req
124. D.W.:
I can't see it.Copy !req
125. Are you sure it's
still up there?Copy !req
126. I don't know.Copy !req
127. Something's holding
the string up.Copy !req
128. Oh, yeah—
then we did it.Copy !req
129. This has to be
the highestCopy !req
130. any kite ever flew.Copy !req
131. Well, there's a lot
of other tngs
I want to do.Copy !req
132. Boy, it's amazing
what you can do
in one dayCopy !req
133. if you try
real hard.Copy !req
134. D.W., you're watching
Christmas videos in May?Copy !req
135. I want to make sure
I get to see them.Copy !req
136. You're lucky you don't have
a sister, pal.Copy !req
137. They're all goofy.Copy !req
138. I made a list
of my three biggest
goals in life.Copy !req
139. Can you help me figure
out how to do them?Copy !req
140. Binky Barnes, why don't you
read us your homework essay?Copy !req
141. Mr. Ratburn, I started
to do my homework.Copy !req
142. Then I got to thinking:
what's the point?Copy !req
143. Will doing all
this homework
really help me?Copy !req
144. These are some of the careers
you can haveCopy !req
145. when you grow up.Copy !req
146. What's a career
I can succeed inCopy !req
147. say, by my next birthday?Copy !req
148. I don't want to spend
the rest of my lifeCopy !req
149. watching the Tibbles eat paste.Copy !req
150. I didn't eat any paste.Copy !req
151. Me, neither.Copy !req
152. So...Copy !req
153. Mr. Ratburn saysCopy !req
154. you refuse to do
homework, Binky.Copy !req
155. Mr. Haney, sirCopy !req
156. every minute of life
is a precious gift.Copy !req
157. We live in a world
surrounded by beauty.Copy !req
158. Should we fritter away our livesCopy !req
159. and allow the wonders of this
amazing gift to just pass us by?Copy !req
160. Come with me, young man.Copy !req
161. Mr. RatburnCopy !req
162. this boy has the
soul of a poetCopy !req
163. and I for one do not appreciate
you trying to crushCopy !req
164. his soaring spirit
and natural talents.Copy !req
165. Binky?Copy !req
166. Binky Barnes?Copy !req
167. This budding Walt Whitman
has inspired meCopy !req
168. to follow my lifelong dream—
to climb Mount Everest.Copy !req
169. I won't be a life
fritter-er away-erer.Copy !req
170. Thank you, my boy.Copy !req
171. See you, Herb.Copy !req
172. I realize
they're your goalsCopy !req
173. but you can't take
a bite out of the sun.Copy !req
174. It's hotter than pizzaCopy !req
175. that's been cooked
inside a baked potato.Copy !req
176. And you can't drink
a whole ocean.Copy !req
177. Salt water would
make you sick.Copy !req
178. That only leaves
me one goal.Copy !req
179. There's something
very strange going on.Copy !req
180. D.W. had this game lastCopy !req
181. and she put everything back
where it belongs.Copy !req
182. And last night...
she kissed me good night.Copy !req
183. Eerie.Copy !req
184. Not as eerie
as this—Copy !req
185. An invitation to
a ballet recital...Copy !req
186. Starring Binky Barnes.Copy !req
187. Do you think
it's...Copy !req
188. Don't say space aliens.Copy !req
189. Look.Copy !req
190. Have you ever really
looked at a leaf?Copy !req
191. Yeah, I did it
yesterdayCopy !req
192. for five hours.Copy !req
193. Nature sure
is amazing.Copy !req
194. I want to invite
you to my recitalCopy !req
195. because you inspired me
to follow my dream.Copy !req
196. D.W. inspired Binky?Copy !req
197. Arthur, I'm afraid.Copy !req
198. This is
just weird.Copy !req
199. This is what
I'm wearingCopy !req
200. To the big-head
kid's recital.Copy !req
201. Very nice, D.W.Copy !req
202. I may never get
to wear it again.Copy !req
203. Arthur!Copy !req
204. No!Copy !req
205. Hey!Copy !req
206. Mom!Copy !req
207. D.W. swiped my chip.Copy !req
208. I saved his life.Copy !req
209. It was a green chip.Copy !req
210. The green ones are poison.Copy !req
211. They're
not poison.Copy !req
212. That's just what
everyone says for fun.Copy !req
213. They're not poison?Copy !req
214. You did eat
my big green chipCopy !req
215. And you thought
you were poisoned.Copy !req
216. That's why you were
acting so weird—Copy !req
217. So... nice.Copy !req
218. I told you you should have
told your mom.Copy !req
219. Oh, you did not.Copy !req
220. This is for real.Copy !req
221. He's really
doing it.Copy !req
222. You should watch
from the audience.Copy !req
223. It'd look better from there.Copy !req
224. I have something
to tell youCopy !req
225. About green
potato chips.Copy !req
226. Huh?Copy !req
227. Why aren't you
on stage?Copy !req
228. I'm done.Copy !req
229. It was a big joke.Copy !req
230. Didn't you get it?Copy !req
231. I mean, me, ballet?Copy !req
232. Too bad— you were
the best part.Copy !req
233. Really?Copy !req
234. Yeah!Copy !req
235. Excuse me.Copy !req
236. I have to catch a swan.Copy !req
237. Ooh.Copy !req
238. I'm glad this
all worked outCopy !req
239. but remember, D.W.Copy !req
240. you don't have
to worry alone.Copy !req
241. I know, Mommy.Copy !req
242. Nadine told me.Copy !req
243. Hey, Arthur's
sister.Copy !req
244. If not for youCopy !req
245. I never would have done this,
and I really liked it— thanks.Copy !req
246. Don't thank me, big-head kidCopy !req
247. thank green
potato chips.Copy !req
248. My name is Binky.Copy !req
249. Mine's D.W.Copy !req
250. Next, I'm going to make up
my own balletCopy !req
251. called Robot Man
in the Junkyard.Copy !req
252. I will never figure out
how those two became friends.Copy !req
253. Space aliens.Copy !req
254. Hey, don't blame us.Copy !req
255. We're just ballet fans.Copy !req
256. And now...Copy !req
257. Here's how I think
potato chips are made:Copy !req
258. They bring the potatoes
into a factory.Copy !req
259. A chef cuts up the potatoes.Copy !req
260. They go down a conveyor belt.Copy !req
261. They cook them
and they go in a bag.Copy !req
262. Then they ship them out.Copy !req
263. We're at Cape Cod
Potato Chip Factory.Copy !req
264. This is where all
our chips are made.Copy !req
265. This truck right hereCopy !req
266. is carrying 50,000 pounds
of potatoes right now.Copy !req
267. And we operate 24 hours a day.Copy !req
268. This gentleman's job is
to inspect all the potatoesCopy !req
269. which are accepted
into our factory.Copy !req
270. That woman's job is
to cook the chips.Copy !req
271. And she'll hand-rake the chips
with a rake.Copy !req
272. Then they're put into
these centrifuge spinners.Copy !req
273. It spins real fastCopy !req
274. And it spins off
all the excess oil.Copy !req
275. Then— now, watch this—Copy !req
276. they're going to dump the chips
into the cooling conveyor.Copy !req
277. This is where all of our chips
are taken from the scalesCopy !req
278. and then they go downCopy !req
279. where they're packed into bags
and shipped off to the stores.Copy !req
280. Why are some potato chips green?Copy !req
281. A green potato is sunburned.Copy !req
282. This potato somehow
was exposed to sunlightCopy !req
283. during the growing process.Copy !req
284. Is it okay to eat
green potato chips?Copy !req
285. You'd have to eat
about 1,000 green potato chipsCopy !req
286. before you'd even
get a bellyache.Copy !req
287. And now...Copy !req
288. So you bit the sandwichCopy !req
289. and then saw half a worm
in the part you hadn't eaten?Copy !req
290. Uh-huh.Copy !req
291. And thenCopy !req
292. what did you do?Copy !req
293. Spit it out!Copy !req
294. Go to the hospital.Copy !req
295. Get de-wormed.Copy !req
296. Ate the rest.Copy !req
297. Boys sure do the most
embarrassing thingsCopy !req
298. don't they?Copy !req
299. Let's watch are-enactment.Copy !req
300. It's weird how we hate
being embarrassedCopy !req
301. but it doesn't bug us muchCopy !req
302. if it happens
to someone else... sort of.Copy !req
303. If I were him, I'd wear
a bag over my head forever.Copy !req
304. How can he tell everybody
he did that— on TV?Copy !req
305. I wonder what
the sandwich was.Copy !req
306. Turn it off!Copy !req
307. But there's
stillCopy !req
308. Ten more embarrassing
minutes to come.Copy !req
309. Arthur?Copy !req
310. Shh...Copy !req
311. So, you do the most
embarrassing thingsCopy !req
312. Is going to do a live show
at Wonderworld next weekCopy !req
313. and we wrote in for tickets.Copy !req
314. Oh, boy, I've never seen TV
before it's TV before.Copy !req
315. Come on, D.W., every time
I take you to somethingCopy !req
316. you act like such a little kid.Copy !req
317. And it's so embarrassing.Copy !req
318. D.W.:
Uh-uh.Copy !req
319. Name just one time.Copy !req
320. Hmm...Copy !req
321. Shh.Copy !req
322. D.W., just watch
the movie.Copy !req
323. D.W.:
Hmph!Copy !req
324. Hey!Copy !req
325. D.W.!Copy !req
326. No!Copy !req
327. Uh... sorry, sir.Copy !req
328. D.W.:
That was last winter—
I was only a little kid.Copy !req
329. Name something
that happened recently.Copy !req
330. You thought you were dying
from eating a green potato chip.Copy !req
331. You promised you wouldn't
talk about that.Copy !req
332. Arthur,
Don't tease D.W.Copy !req
333. I don't do embarrassing
kid stuff anymore.Copy !req
334. If I prove I'm more grown-up
now, I can go, right?Copy !req
335. Yeah, sure... but I know there's
no way you can prove that.Copy !req
336. Just watch me.Copy !req
337. Well, you're
failing so far.Copy !req
338. That's what you think.Copy !req
339. Hmm... kind of fat...
very thin... medium...Copy !req
340. Whoa! That's definitely
not for little kids!Copy !req
341. Getting that bookCopy !req
342. doesn't prove
you're grown-up.Copy !req
343. Mom can read it to me
for a bedtime story.Copy !req
344. I'm interested
in the subject.Copy !req
345. What is it again?Copy !req
346. Macroeconomics.Copy !req
347. I love that.Copy !req
348. What is it again?Copy !req
349. Mint chocolate
chip, please.Copy !req
350. I want
rocky roadCopy !req
351. with extra
cookie pieces.Copy !req
352. I mean, I'll have
something vegetarian.Copy !req
353. Okay, sweetie.Copy !req
354. Oh, I heard
the cutest thing
about you, D.W.Copy !req
355. I sure hope you're feeling
better these days.Copy !req
356. I don't get it:Copy !req
357. Do adults say
weird things to youCopy !req
358. When you
become grown-up?Copy !req
359. Only when you're trying to act
like something you're not.Copy !req
360. Hey, D.W.!Copy !req
361. Sure hope you're
feeling better
these days.Copy !req
362. You take care,
we'd hate to lose you.Copy !req
363. They're doing
it again!Copy !req
364. Wha...Copy !req
365. Ooh, I ate a green
potato chip.Copy !req
366. I'm dying,
I'm dying.Copy !req
367. You better take care
of yourself, D.W.Copy !req
368. We wouldn't want to lose you.Copy !req
369. You! You did this!Copy !req
370. You told everybody
about the potato chipCopy !req
371. so they'll think I'm a babyCopy !req
372. and you wouldn't have
to take me anywhere.Copy !req
373. I didn't say anything
to these people.Copy !req
374. Then you told your friends,
and they told everybody.Copy !req
375. No way! Go ask them and see.Copy !req
376. They don't even know about it.Copy !req
377. Oh, hi, D.W., would
you like a chip?Copy !req
378. Don't worry,
we threw out all
the poison ones.Copy !req
379. I swear
I didn't tell them.Copy !req
380. I know you did this,
and I'm going to get proofCopy !req
381. and then you'll
have to take me
to the show.Copy !req
382. The Bionic Bunny Show!Copy !req
383. D.W.:
Hmm, suspicious...Copy !req
384. they're using the TV
to drown out their voices.Copy !req
385. HELLO, D.W.Copy !req
386. Very suspicious.Copy !req
387. Hello, D.W.!Copy !req
388. Very, very suspicious.Copy !req
389. D.W.:
Very, very, very suspicious.Copy !req
390. They're keeping
their faces turned awayCopy !req
391. so I can't read their lips.Copy !req
392. Wait, here it comes!Copy !req
393. Hello, D.W.Copy !req
394. I need more
sophisticated equipment.Copy !req
395. I need the number of
the nearest lie detector store.Copy !req
396. Hey, D.W.,
you're famous.Copy !req
397. You're in buster's mom's "let a
smile be your umbrella" column.Copy !req
398. I can't read.Copy !req
399. What's it say?Copy !req
400. "A story that's
put a smileCopy !req
401. "on my face for the past
few days involves a little girlCopy !req
402. "who thought that green
potato chips were fatal.Copy !req
403. "five-year-old
Dora Winifred Read...Copy !req
404. "eagerly gobbled up
a green chip one afternoonCopy !req
405. "only to be informed by her
practical-joker brother, ArthurCopy !req
406. that green chips were deadly."Copy !req
407. President D.W.?Copy !req
408. You have ended poverty and warCopy !req
409. and outlawed older brothers
who break promises.Copy !req
410. Ms. President,
I have one question:Copy !req
411. Would you like a potato chip?Copy !req
412. I checked for green ones!Copy !req
413. You've got to help meCopy !req
414. stop this, or I'll never
live it down.Copy !req
415. D.W., I have things to do.Copy !req
416. I won't help you.Copy !req
417. Okay, I'll help you.Copy !req
418. Okay, D.W., I'll help you.Copy !req
419. That was the
last trip, right?Copy !req
420. Please say that
was the last trip.Copy !req
421. Hey!Copy !req
422. Hey! What are you doing?Copy !req
423. Got a bunch of calls
for a redelivery—Copy !req
424. guess some dog ate
everybody's paper.Copy !req
425. It's hopeless.Copy !req
426. I can never show
my face again.Copy !req
427. And you won't even
admit you did it.Copy !req
428. It's like when you stole
my crazy bus C.D.Copy !req
429. And my snowball.Copy !req
430. You know Mom and Dad
took that C.D.Copy !req
431. So you finally admit
you stole my snowball?Copy !req
432. She was convinced
a green chipCopy !req
433. would to kill her.Copy !req
434. You know how
dramatic D.W. can be.Copy !req
435. I wouldn't be surprised
if she drew up a will.Copy !req
436. When Bitzi asked if
she could put it
in her columnCopy !req
437. I couldn't say no.Copy !req
438. Of course
I'm sending itCopy !req
439. To all
the relatives:Copy !req
440. Grandma Thora, LucyCopy !req
441. Aunt Jessica
and Great-Aunt SusanCopy !req
442. cousin Hortense and
Hortense's Stepbrother TylerCopy !req
443. AND MY COLLEGE ROOMMATE...Copy !req
444. Mom?Copy !req
445. What, honey?Copy !req
446. You're the oneCopy !req
447. who told everybodyCopy !req
448. about the green chip!Copy !req
449. My own mom is trying to ruin me.Copy !req
450. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
451. I didn't realizeCopy !req
452. it embarrassed you.Copy !req
453. I'll never repeat
that story again.Copy !req
454. Promise?Copy !req
455. I promise.Copy !req
456. Arthur,
I'm sorry
I blamed you.Copy !req
457. I'm just so
miserable.Copy !req
458. Everybody's
laughing at me.Copy !req
459. Would it make you feel better
to come to the show?Copy !req
460. Well... I guess.Copy !req
461. That worked out
happily for everyone.Copy !req
462. Arthur, would you mindCopy !req
463. taking these to recycling?Copy !req
464. Oh...Copy !req
465. Come on, D.W.Copy !req
466. You promised
you wouldn't
embarrass me.Copy !req
467. I have to lay low
until college.Copy !req
468. Everybody's mom
embarrasses them
once in a while.Copy !req
469. Yeah, my mom used
to call me "Boo-Boo."Copy !req
470. Everybody at school
teased me about it.Copy !req
471. But then they forgot.Copy !req
472. Hi, Boo-Boo.Copy !req
473. Oh...Copy !req
474. Yes, it's true—Copy !req
475. she thought green potato chips
were fatal.Copy !req
476. Do you hear that?Copy !req
477. Tell me I'm dreaming.Copy !req
478. What am I going to do?Copy !req
479. Run away.Copy !req
480. Join the circus.Copy !req
481. My mom knows
a good plastic surgeon.Copy !req
482. Please don't mention it.Copy !req
483. You promised!Copy !req
484. D.W., wait.Copy !req
485. Wait!Copy !req
486. You okay, sir?Copy !req
487. Oh, Binky!Copy !req
488. D.W.! I thought you wereCopy !req
489. A real football
player in a dress.Copy !req
490. Binky, you've been
as close to death as me.Copy !req
491. What do you do when someone does
something you don't like?Copy !req
492. I always just
stare at peopleCopy !req
493. and they stop doing
whatever they're doing.Copy !req
494. D.W.!Copy !req
495. Oh, D.W., I'm sorry.Copy !req
496. You think because
I'm a little kidCopy !req
497. you don't have to keep
a promise.Copy !req
498. That's not true.Copy !req
499. Mrs. MacGrady asked me
about the newspaper...Copy !req
500. so when somebody asks,
the promise is off? No way.Copy !req
501. No, you're
right.Copy !req
502. But people are
going to ask.Copy !req
503. Can we figure out
something I can say?Copy !req
504. "The newspaper lied"?Copy !req
505. What if I just say,
"I can't talk about itCopy !req
506. because I want to respect
my daughter's feelings"?Copy !req
507. Um... okay.Copy !req
508. At least now I can relax
and enjoy the show.Copy !req
509. Welcome, folks, to you do
the most embarrassing things.Copy !req
510. For our first guest—Copy !req
511. A kid who ate a green potato
chip and thought it was deadly!Copy !req
512. Binky Barnes!Copy !req
513. I thought I would die.Copy !req
514. And now the membersCopy !req
515. of the Bully BalletCopy !req
516. are going to dance
our re-enactmentCopy !req
517. of Binky's
embarrassing
experienceCopy !req
518. in their new ballet,
don't eat the
green ones."Copy !req