1. This is Michael Bluth.Copy !req
2. For 10 years, he's worked
for his father's company...Copy !req
3. waiting to be made a partner.Copy !req
4. And right now, he's happy.Copy !req
5. - This is Michael's mother.
- Look what they've done, Michael.Copy !req
6. She isn't happy.Copy !req
7. Look what the homosexuals
have done to me.Copy !req
8. You can't just comb that out
and reset it?Copy !req
9. Currently, she's upset that her
husband's retirement party...Copy !req
10. is being upstaged by a group
of gay protesters.Copy !req
11. We're here! We're queer!
We want to get married on the ocean!Copy !req
12. Everything they do
is so dramatic and flamboyant.Copy !req
13. It just makes me
want to set myself on fire.Copy !req
14. Good grief, Mother.Copy !req
15. Not all homosexuals
are flamboy...Copy !req
16. Oh, my God! I have
the exact same blouse.Copy !req
17. This is Michael's twin sister, Lindsay.Copy !req
18. I like it better on him.Copy !req
19. As a youthful act of defiance,
Lindsay married...Copy !req
20. this man.Copy !req
21. They moved to Boston,
where they've become celebrated...Copy !req
22. for their wine and cheese
fund-raisers.Copy !req
23. Oh, no.
I'm completely stuffed.Copy !req
24. Michael and his sister
haven't spoken in a year.Copy !req
25. Neither has acknowledged this.Copy !req
26. And this is Gob,
Michael's oldest brother.Copy !req
27. So, this is the magic trick, huh?Copy !req
28. Illusion, Michael. A trick is something
a whore does for money.Copy !req
29. Or candy.Copy !req
30. Gob recently started
the Alliance of Magicians...Copy !req
31. an organization that blackballs
any performer...Copy !req
32. who reveals a magician's secret.Copy !req
33. And finally there's Buster...Copy !req
34. - Hey, Buster.
- the youngest of Michael's siblings.Copy !req
35. You know, you don't need
to do that, buddy. It's okay.Copy !req
36. Thanks to the family's largesse,
Buster has studied everything...Copy !req
37. from Native American
tribal ceremonies...Copy !req
38. to cartography, the mapping
of uncharted territories.Copy !req
39. Hasn't everything already
sort of been discovered, though...Copy !req
40. by, like, Magellan and Cortés?Copy !req
41. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- All those folks.Copy !req
42. Those guys did a pretty good job...Copy !req
43. but there's still, you know...Copy !req
44. He also suffers
from crippling panic attacks.Copy !req
45. Yes, this is his family.Copy !req
46. So why is Michael so happy?Copy !req
47. Because he's decided to never
speak to these people again.Copy !req
48. Michael was feeling more
generous about his family...Copy !req
49. on the morning of the boat party.Copy !req
50. What comes before anything? What have we
always said is the most important thing?Copy !req
51. - Breakfast.
- Family.Copy !req
52. Family. Right. I thought
you meant of the things you eat.Copy !req
53. This is Michael's son, George Michael.Copy !req
54. I mean, we have made nothing
but sacrifices for this family...Copy !req
55. and tonight
it all pays off, my boy.Copy !req
56. Tonight your granddad
makes me partner.Copy !req
57. To prove his dedication
to the family business...Copy !req
58. Michael has decided to live here...
in the model unit...Copy !req
59. of his father's latest housing tract.Copy !req
60. The guys live in the attic
so that the house...Copy !req
61. can still function
as a pristine selling tool.Copy !req
62. And when I do get that promotion...Copy !req
63. I'll finally be able
to get you what you deserve.Copy !req
64. Like a real home.Copy !req
65. This is a real home.Copy !req
66. No, it's not.
It's a fake home, son.Copy !req
67. You want the loops
or the flakes today?Copy !req
68. The guys then
headed down to Balboa Island...Copy !req
69. so George Michael could work
at the frozen banana stand...Copy !req
70. his grandfather started in 1953.Copy !req
71. Bananas.Copy !req
72. Michael, meanwhile,
was meeting his brother Gob...Copy !req
73. hoping to discuss
his father's boat party.Copy !req
74. Do you have your check
for your share of the party?Copy !req
75. You know, I sort of thought
my contribution...Copy !req
76. could be a magic show.Copy !req
77. - Oh, that's perfect, Gob.
- Thank you.Copy !req
78. I just remembered something.
Dad's retiring, not turning six.Copy !req
79. Hey, come on! I just bought this new
illusion called the Aztec Tomb.Copy !req
80. - It cost like 18 grand! I'm gonna do it on the boat.
- I don't care.Copy !req
81. What do you care? Can't you just charge
the party to the company?Copy !req
82. - It's not a business expense.
- So what? Lindsay's been staying
at the Four Seasons for a month.Copy !req
83. She's probably charging the company.Copy !req
84. Lindsay's been in town for a month?Copy !req
85. I don't think so.Copy !req
86. Michael was upset to hear this...Copy !req
87. so he went to discuss it with his mother.Copy !req
88. Mom! Mother! Give me your
company checkbook. You're cut off.Copy !req
89. Michael, look.
Look what happened to my fox.Copy !req
90. Someone cut off his little foot.Copy !req
91. Is it... Is it noticeable?Copy !req
92. You've gotta remember...
you're gonna be all splattered in red paint.Copy !req
93. That's gonna distract the eye.Copy !req
94. I don't want you charging any more
of your personal expenses to the company.Copy !req
95. Well, I had to pay for the Aztec Tomb.
Gob says it's a career maker.Copy !req
96. Wait a minute. The company
paid for the Aztec Tomb? That's great.Copy !req
97. Well, I was talking about Lindsay, okay?Copy !req
98. You put her in a five-star hotel, on top
of which you didn't tell me she was in town.Copy !req
99. If you're saying I play favorites, you're
wrong. I love all my children equally.Copy !req
100. I don't care for Gob.Copy !req
101. Good grief. I dipped into
the kitty a couple of times.Copy !req
102. You should be focused on tonight.Copy !req
103. Dad's making a big announcement.Copy !req
104. Yeah? I knew it.
It's about me, isn't it?Copy !req
105. I wonder how I can talk you
out of ever making that face again.Copy !req
106. Michael!Copy !req
107. Tobias.Copy !req
108. How are you?Copy !req
109. Good, good.
How's your job search comin'?Copy !req
110. - It's good. It's going to be good.
- Yeah? Great.Copy !req
111. I'm hoping the universe
provides a path for me.Copy !req
112. Tobias recently lost his medical license...Copy !req
113. for administering C.P.R.
to a person who, as it turned out...Copy !req
114. was not having a heart attack.Copy !req
115. Maybe you'll be inspired by the boat party
tonight, start a career as a pirate.Copy !req
116. I haven't packed for that.Copy !req
117. - Couldn't find a thing.
- Lindsay!Copy !req
118. - Michael!
- How was your flight?Copy !req
119. - Great. Great. We just got in.
- He knows.Copy !req
120. A month ago. Oh, I'm sorry.
I've been meaning to call you.Copy !req
121. - I really have.
- Really?Copy !req
122. - It's just been very busy.
- Ugh! It's been crazy.Copy !req
123. We just had an amazing
fund-raiser for HOOP.Copy !req
124. - HOOP?
- My anti-circumcision movement.Copy !req
125. I think it looks frightening
when it's cut off.Copy !req
126. It's a Doberman.
Let it have its ears.Copy !req
127. - Hmm.
- Believe it or not...Copy !req
128. we brought in over $40,000.Copy !req
129. Unbelievable. Sounds like you saved
enough skin to make 10 new boys.Copy !req
130. Well, most of that money
was from the Bluth Company.Copy !req
131. I mean, how...Copy !req
132. are you?Copy !req
133. Still good. You know what?Copy !req
134. You guys have had your hands
in the company coffer for years.Copy !req
135. But starting tomorrow, there is
going to be a new boss in town...Copy !req
136. and you're all gonna have to
start fending for yourselves.Copy !req
137. You're all gonna finally feel
that sweet sting of sweat in your eyes.Copy !req
138. As... Buster!Copy !req
139. You can't do that
on the balcony, buddy?Copy !req
140. Mom says it's too windy.Copy !req
141. Who could've done this?Copy !req
142. While Michael
was getting fed up with his family...Copy !req
143. George Michael was finally
getting to know them.Copy !req
144. Um, yeah. I bought
a frozen banana...Copy !req
145. and when I bit into it,
I found this.Copy !req
146. - Looks like a foot.
- It tasted like a foot.Copy !req
147. Which I didn't really mind,
but I'm pretty sure I said no nuts.Copy !req
148. Hey, you're my cousin,
aren't you?Copy !req
149. Maybe.Copy !req
150. This is George Michael's cousin, Maeby.Copy !req
151. - I can't believe you didn't recognize me.
- We never see you.Copy !req
152. We never see anybody in our family.Copy !req
153. I know. It's our parents' faults.
We should teach them a lesson.Copy !req
154. Yeah. No. I don't think so.Copy !req
155. I should go
to my mom tonight...Copy !req
156. and be like,
"I met the cutest guy."Copy !req
157. And then she'll see you
and me totally making out.Copy !req
158. But... But not really, right?Copy !req
159. It's perfect.
She'd freak out...Copy !req
160. and I'd be like, "If we saw
each other more often, this wouldn't happen."Copy !req
161. - But we're cousins.
- That's what makes it funny.Copy !req
162. - But isn't it against the law?
- Come on, George Michael.Copy !req
163. Tobias, now believing
the boat party to be pirate-themed...Copy !req
164. - You look like a pirate!
- began searching through his
wife's luggage for an outfit.Copy !req
165. I should say so!
Look at the blouse, sir!Copy !req
166. Then, mistaking a group
of garishly dressed men for pirates...Copy !req
167. Tobias boarded a van
full ofhomosexuals.Copy !req
168. Soon he was unwittingly part
of a protest against the local yacht club.Copy !req
169. How are you?Copy !req
170. Oh, my God! I have
the exact same blouse.Copy !req
171. I like it better on him.Copy !req
172. And Michael's big moment finally came.Copy !req
173. I give you the new C.E.O.
for the Bluth Company.Copy !req
174. Certainly the smartest Bluth.Copy !req
175. My favorite Bluth.Copy !req
176. And the, uh, sexiest creature
I have ever laid eyes on.Copy !req
177. My lovely wife, Lucille.Copy !req
178. Mom!Copy !req
179. Mom, congratulations!Copy !req
180. Sorry. It's not the right time.Copy !req
181. I'm not gonna lie to you, Michael.
This is great news for HOOP.Copy !req
182. Hey.Copy !req
183. - You okay?
- You and I, we've waited long enough.Copy !req
184. It's time to move on.
All right?Copy !req
185. I guess we're gonna see
you guys even less now.Copy !req
186. I told you. We should've
taught them a lesson.Copy !req
187. Lindsay, I want you
in this picture. Come on.Copy !req
188. All right. Let's see
some smiles, people.Copy !req
189. It's a... It's a party,
not a shareholders' meeting.Copy !req
190. Are those police boats?Copy !req
191. No, I'm serious.
I think they are police boats.Copy !req
192. Prepare to be
boarded. Prepare to be boarded.Copy !req
193. - I knew it was against the law.
- That's the Securities
and Exchange Commission.Copy !req
194. - They have boats?
- Give me a cell phone.Copy !req
195. Lindsay, Buster, up to the bridge!
Come on, Buster!Copy !req
196. - Almighty good grief.
- Delores, listen to me.Copy !req
197. - Out of my way!
- Empty the account.Copy !req
198. - Out of my way!
- Why are you crying? Why are you crying?Copy !req
199. Out of my way!
Out! Out! Out!Copy !req
200. Lindsay, take the wheel!
Buster, find us a channel to the ocean!Copy !req
201. Gee, I don't have any
mapping equipment with me.Copy !req
202. You've had $80,000 worth of cartography
lessons. Get us a channel to the ocean!Copy !req
203. Okay. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
204. - Can you hear me now?
- Obviously this blue part here is the land.Copy !req
205. That would mean...Copy !req
206. Oh, Buster, Buster.
You'll be all right.Copy !req
207. Shredder. No. Save it.
Save it. Shredder.Copy !req
208. Please don't leave us now,
Buster! Please!Copy !req
209. - Get in the tomb. The Aztec Tomb.
- Save it. Shred it.Copy !req
210. Hold on. I don't have time
for your magic tricks.Copy !req
211. Illusions, Dad! You don't
have time for my illusions!Copy !req
212. What is wrong with you?
Why are you so angry?Copy !req
213. Look. Just stay in the box.
I'll make you disappear.Copy !req
214. The Bluth family
dominated the news that night.Copy !req
215. Bluth Development Company
president George Bluth...Copy !req
216. was arrested tonight
for defrauding investors...Copy !req
217. and using the company
as his personal piggy bank.Copy !req
218. More intrigue
on the high seas tonight...Copy !req
219. as dozens of local pirates
were arrested...Copy !req
220. for protesting the yacht club's
discriminatory policies.Copy !req
221. Even Michael's brother Gob made the news.Copy !req
222. It was Mr. Bluth's son
Gob, a part-time magician...Copy !req
223. who hid his father here
in the Aztec Tomb.Copy !req
224. By pushing on this pivoting panel...Copy !req
225. I have to think the Alliance
is gonna frown on this.Copy !req
226. Perhaps a good trick for a human...Copy !req
227. but the dogs found him
almost instantly.Copy !req
228. Free at last, darlings.Copy !req
229. - I'm all right.
- Thank God.Copy !req
230. Oh, what an adventure.
Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
231. Buster! Don't do that.Copy !req
232. What an adventure, gang.Copy !req
233. I thought that
the homosexuals were pirates...Copy !req
234. but it turns out that most of them
were actors in the local theater.Copy !req
235. You're right though.
It is amazing.Copy !req
236. I've been waiting for the universe
to provide a path for me, and...Copy !req
237. and I think it has.Copy !req
238. - You're gay?
- No. No.Copy !req
239. I'm not... I'm not gay. No. Lindsay,
how many times must we have this...Copy !req
240. No. I want to be an actor.Copy !req
241. Okay, guys. Um, they are gonna
keep Dad in prison...Copy !req
242. at least until this gets all sorted out.Copy !req
243. Also, the attorney said they're gonna have to
put a halt on the company's expense account.Copy !req
244. Interesting. I would have expected that
after the "keeping Dad in jail."Copy !req
245. You know, Michael,
Dad did name Mom as his successor.Copy !req
246. - And I'm putting Buster in charge.
- That's a good choice.Copy !req
247. Buster? The guy who thought that
the blue on the map was land?Copy !req
248. - He's had business classes.
- Wa-Wa-Wa-Wait.Copy !req
249. Eighteenth-century agrarian business.Copy !req
250. But I guess it's all the same principles.Copy !req
251. Are you at all concerned
about an uprising?Copy !req
252. That's it. I'm done. I'm sick and tired of
the greed and the selfishness and the taking.Copy !req
253. Forget it.
I've got a son to think about.Copy !req
254. And, Lindsay, by the way,
I expected this from them...Copy !req
255. because they're completely oblivious.Copy !req
256. But you...
you should know better.Copy !req
257. In the days that followed,
Lindsay had no choice...Copy !req
258. but to check her family
out of the hotel earlier than planned.Copy !req
259. And her husband
started looking for work.Copy !req
260. My name is Dr. Tobias Fünke.Copy !req
261. I was Chief Resident of Psychiatry
at Mass General for two years...Copy !req
262. and I did my fellowship
in psycholinguistics at M.I.T.Copy !req
263. And this is "I'm a Bad, Bad Man"
from Annie Get Your Gun.Copy !req
264. Lucille was finding it
difficult to go about her daily life.Copy !req
265. The S.E.C. is making him out to be some kind
of mastermind, which... believe me... he's not.Copy !req
266. The man can barely work our shredder.Copy !req
267. Michael was able to secure a job with a rival
housing company almost immediately.Copy !req
268. We'll set you up in Arizona
in one of our finest estates.Copy !req
269. Attic or main house?Copy !req
270. And Buster was discovering
his academic pursuits...Copy !req
271. didn't fully prepare him
for his new responsibilities.Copy !req
272. Have you looked at the latest figures
on the Sudden Valley expansion...Copy !req
273. vis-à-vis the development
versus the tax...Copy !req
274. - You guys are so smart.
- Two percent per annum.
This is a non-recoupable...Copy !req
275. We need Michael.Copy !req
276. - We need ice.
- Michael. We need Michael.Copy !req
277. And so the family
staged an intervention.Copy !req
278. I'm sorry. What exactly
is this intervention for?Copy !req
279. We need you to come back
and run the business.Copy !req
280. Okay. So technically it's not really
an intervention. It's more of an imposition.Copy !req
281. - Whatever you want to call it.
- I'd love to call it an imposition.Copy !req
282. We're in trouble here, Michael.
And I can't perform my magic.Copy !req
283. I'm getting blackballed
from even the smaller venues.Copy !req
284. I'll be honest. I'm just more comfortable
with an Alliance-approved magician.Copy !req
285. Give 'em a hell of a show, champ.Copy !req
286. off, traitor.Copy !req
287. Can you believe this?
They're still fighting.Copy !req
288. Yeah, I know. I'm tempted to kiss again
so we could teach 'em a lesson.Copy !req
289. Why would that teach them a lesson?Copy !req
290. No, I mean, uh, to freak them out.Copy !req
291. - That doesn't make any sense.
- Isn't that what makes it funny?Copy !req
292. I'm laughing.
Go fish... Uno... Okay.Copy !req
293. - I just need a drink.
- Well, I'm sorry. It's just too late.Copy !req
294. I'm moving to Phoenix.
I got a job.Copy !req
295. Something you apply for,
and then they pay you to, uh...Copy !req
296. Never mind. I don't want to ruin
the surprise. So, no hard feelings.Copy !req
297. Adios. Sayonara. I'll see you
when the first parent dies.Copy !req
298. Well, I'd rather be dead in California
than alive in Arizona.Copy !req
299. - Touché.
- George Michael, grab the coat.Copy !req
300. I think Dad would really
want you to help us out here.Copy !req
301. - Dad's in jail. Here we go.
- Well, the least you could do
is say good-bye to him.Copy !req
302. In fact, Michael had not
spoken to his father since the arrest...Copy !req
303. and he decided to give his father
the courtesy of a formal resignation.Copy !req
304. - I quit.
- Probably a good career move.Copy !req
305. You know, I parked in the same spot
for the last five years.Copy !req
306. I was there on time every single day.Copy !req
307. - Mike...
- I was so loyal. I worked so hard.Copy !req
308. - Why didn't you just put me in charge?
- Michael, listen to me.Copy !req
309. These guys, the S.E.C.,
they've been after me for years.Copy !req
310. I put you in charge, you're gonna
be wearing one of these jumpsuits too.Copy !req
311. - I could've helped...
- You'd be an accomplice.Copy !req
312. No. It had to be your mom.Copy !req
313. They cannot arrest
a husband and wife...Copy !req
314. for the same crime.Copy !req
315. Yeah, I don't think
that that's true, Dad.Copy !req
316. Really?Copy !req
317. I got the worst...
attorneys.Copy !req
318. With Michael leaving town...Copy !req
319. Lindsay decided to take inventory
of the family's last remaining asset:Copy !req
320. their model home.Copy !req
321. - What are you doing?
- Packing up. What are you doing?Copy !req
322. Well, just looking for... you.Copy !req
323. - To say good-bye to you.
- Gonna miss you guys.Copy !req
324. Oh, well. We'll come out
and see you in...Copy !req
325. Yeah. We'll miss you too.Copy !req
326. It's been nice having you guys around...
you know, to talk to.Copy !req
327. Well, since Mom died,
it's been kind of lonely and...Copy !req
328. I just wish
we could all stay here.Copy !req
329. - l... I need a hand with the van, please.
- Okay.Copy !req
330. Sorry.Copy !req
331. Well, l-I guess he
really misses his family.Copy !req
332. - Well, he doesn't know us very well.
- Yeah, clearly.Copy !req
333. Let me ask you a question. Where the hell
have you been? Why didn't you call me?Copy !req
334. Look at my life, Michael.Copy !req
335. Tobias is out of work.
We're in debt. It's...Copy !req
336. What are you doing?
Are you trying to cry?Copy !req
337. I'm sad. Life is hard right now.
I've got theJ.D.L. on my ass.Copy !req
338. - J.D.L.?
- Jewish Defense League.Copy !req
339. Oh, the circumcision thing?
This is why I was against HOOP.Copy !req
340. - Why didn't you just mind your own business?
- This is why I didn't call you!Copy !req
341. - You're so judgmental.
- No, I'm not judgmental.Copy !req
342. - And you're disappointed in me.
- I'm not disappointed in you.Copy !req
343. - You are.
- So I'm disappointed in you.Copy !req
344. But come on. What is not
disappointing about my life?Copy !req
345. Dad didn't give me the promotion.
Dad's in jail. How disappointing is that?Copy !req
346. - We're a disappointing family.
- We're an incredibly disappointing family.Copy !req
347. But we are a family,
and I want my son to be happy.Copy !req
348. So maybe we should be
in each other's lives.Copy !req
349. - I'd like that.
- Yeah?Copy !req
350. - Seriously, you're gonna pull a muscle.
- I used to be able to do this.Copy !req
351. So Michael decided to stay in California...Copy !req
352. and try to save the family business.Copy !req
353. And for the first time ever, he gathered
his family together in the model home.Copy !req
354. - Dad was always banker,
so there was no beating him.
- Totally.Copy !req
355. He should've been stocking up
on those "get out of jail free" cards.Copy !req
356. - Good one, George Michael!
- Very good.Copy !req
357. - Two hundred for Short Line.
- I wish you guys didn't have to go so soon.Copy !req
358. Oh, on that subject, these guys
are actually gonna be staying with us.Copy !req
359. For a while. Just your aunt
and her husband. Not Gob.Copy !req
360. - Really?
- Yeah. What the hell, huh? Family first.Copy !req
361. It is gonna be a little crowded, so you're
gonna have to share a room with your cousin.Copy !req
362. On the next Arrested Development...Copy !req
363. George Michael gets a new roommate.Copy !req
364. It was really your brother
we were interested in.Copy !req
365. I mean, you don't even
have any references.Copy !req
366. Is that enough
of a reference for you?Copy !req
367. And Michael finds it
difficult to get his father out of jail.Copy !req
368. You love it here?Copy !req
369. Oh, I'm having the time of my life!Copy !req
370. Hey, T-Bone.Copy !req