1. At the Father B Colony Retreat,
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2. sweat 'n' squeeze guru George Sr.
was growing more empowered every day,
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3. while his twin brother Oscar was bushed.
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4. Hey, Oscar, that scared me.
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5. Come on, man, get back in there.
I was starting to sweat.
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6. Which was Oscar's job, for he
had been masquerading as George Sr.
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7. during the sweat phase of the retreat
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8. and then switching places with George Sr.,
who'd focus on the squeeze.
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9. I was willing to spend $10,000
for just a sip of this lemonade.
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10. Fifteen!
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11. I'm just trying to get my strength up.
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12. Maca usually gets me there.
Hey, chew some maca with me.
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13. I can't, okay?
I gotta go up to see Lucille tomorrow.
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14. Whom he'd been meeting under
the pretense of working on their divorce.
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15. - Fifteen minutes for prisoner visits.
- You look nice.
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16. Stop trying to butter me up
and let's just get this divorce agreed to
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17. so you can get out of here.
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18. But the divorce was a sham.
- It's almost like adultery this way.
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19. Good, I like that.
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20. - My wife doesn't understand me.
- My husband doesn't satisfy me.
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21. Oh! I haven't had an orgasm outside
of my bathtub in 30 years.
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22. How's that?
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23. Although at times
I do wish it were darker.
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24. It's too bad you don't have time
to try this. Yesterday...
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25. I was talking to a lizard,
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26. and it turned into Elizabeth Taylor.
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27. Young Elizabeth Taylor?
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28. Yeah.
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29. Yeah, I could use some maca.
Give me some of that.
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30. And soon a vision did appear.
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31. I wonder what's going on. For some reason,
I'm just getting Richard Burton today.
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32. Oh, my God, what's that?
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33. That's the commode.
Are you at all concerned
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34. that the maca bush is directly downhill
from that?
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35. He should have been, but Oscar
was actually referring to
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36. what now appeared to be a divine spirit
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37. personified as an ostrich.
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38. You trespass on sacred ground.
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39. The spirits command me to warn you
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40. you must leave this land,
or the land will change you.
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41. Don't worry,
he's probably from a local reservation. I'll take care of this.
How about you book me two nights
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42. for Ray Romano at your casino?
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43. The strong will become the weak,
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44. the weak will become the strong.
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45. And get us close to the front,
but not close enough that Ray talks to us.
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46. You have been warned.
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47. I don't know what you saw,
but I got an ostrich and no boner.
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48. Now the story of what happened
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49. when the one man
who was holding his family together
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50. finally let go
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51. and the separate journeys
that eventually gave them no choice
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52. but to come back together.
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53. It's Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences.
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54. Even though it was only 100 miles
from her hometown of Newport Beach,
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55. the desert created a whole new value
system for Lindsay Bluth.
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56. I'd give $20,000 for a lemonade right now.
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57. For the most part.
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58. It was here that she'd moved
with her activist boyfriend...
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59. Marky! Mommy needs mescaline!
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60. and his mother.
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61. And tell your girlfriend DeBrie
to shovel that ostrich crap.
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62. It's not DeBrie, Ma Bark, it's Lindsay.
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63. - I just cut off my hair.
- I know who you are.
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64. Now, start shoveling.
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65. God, you're lazier than Lindsay.
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66. And she was finding it worse
than life with her own mother.
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67. Marky, hurry! There's another dead iguana.
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68. What does this mean? It's probably those bastards next door.
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69. They want us off their land.
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70. Probably so they can build a border wall.
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71. They just wanna separate the whites
from the browns.
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72. You really are colorblind.
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73. Face-blind.
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74. Fortunately, I can see color.
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75. That's how I can tell the browns
are the Mexicans.
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76. The bastards, unbeknownst
to Lindsay or the face-blind Marky,
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77. were led by George Sr.,
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78. who despite appearing to care
about saving the way of life
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79. - for Oscar and his desert coterie...
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80. was the real reason George Sr.
bought the property.
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81. not by being the biggest businessman
in Southern California, it's—
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82. It's by being the best brother
in Southern California.
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83. It was also the reason that
Marky had just put a fake curse on him.
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84. The weak will become the strong.
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85. I thought I scared those bastards off.
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86. But to kill an innocent iguana,
this beautiful creature of the desert—
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87. Lizard bastard! It bit me!
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88. Who keeps numbing these desert animals?
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89. No, we'll kill it later. Mom, lizard bite.
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90. Put some rubbing mescaline on it.
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91. Lindsay hated her new life, but even more,
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92. she hated herself for hating her new life.
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93. I don't know how much more
of this I can take.
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94. I'm surrounded by squalor and death,
and I still can't be happy.
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95. It's only gonna get worse,
'cause they're chasing us off the land.
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96. Where are we gonna go?
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97. Hey, new girl,
I just heard about your mother's trial.
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98. She was sent away.
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99. Lindsay had missed her own mother's trial,
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100. and for that she'd never be able
to forgive her—
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101. Hey, I know a place that just opened up.
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102. herself.
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103. And as they snuck into the Balboa Towers,
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104. Marky was uneasy about living
what appeared to be a lavish lifestyle.
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105. What do you think?
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106. - I think it's just... not urine.
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107. And we're not moving in,
we're occupying a space with central air.
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108. It was also being occupied
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109. by Lindsay's own daughter...
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110. What do you think?
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111. whom Lindsay believed
was living with her father...
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112. We're not moving in, we're...
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113. and Marky believed was an ostrich.
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114. Are you okay?
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115. Look, Lindsay, Cindy already marked
the master.
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116. All right, this'll be where she goes.
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117. So, we're staying,
and we will change the world
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118. and hold our heads high.
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119. And it might be nice
to live like normal people for a change.
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120. Let's put some newspaper
on these windows.
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121. And like Maeby,
another Bluth right across the hall
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122. had just come close to being exposed
with a mother.
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123. Out.
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124. And since his own mother
refused to see him,
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125. Buster went back to an old family.
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126. I'm back!
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127. As it turned out,
Buster returned on the very day
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128. the army policy
regarding sexual orientation had changed.
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129. - No.
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130. - You can tell me.
- I'm not.
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131. It's okay. Drew, tell him.
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132. I'm gay. Peters is gay.
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133. Sgt. Melnick's gay.
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134. Bye.
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135. Oh, sorry, he's bi.
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136. - No, I'm going home for the day. I'm gay.
- It really makes no difference to us.
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137. - We'll find something for you.
- Perfect.
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138. I was looking for something.
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139. You said "something," right?
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140. And that's how Buster
officially found "something."
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141. It had been a year since George Sr.
had received
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142. Marky's make-believe ancient tribal curse.
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143. Who would like some lemonade for $2,000?
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144. But in many ways,
the strong was becoming the weak.
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145. Come on, guys.
I looked the other way
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146. on the bottled water
because you look thirsty,
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147. but you gotta play along here. Heartfire.
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148. Where's the lemonade?
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149. That same year had brought
less change to Lindsay's life...
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150. other than getting the not-urine smell out
of the penthouse.
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151. You're looking at Lindsay. Still Lindsay.
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152. Oh. Hey, Linds. How was beg?
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153. Beg was good.
I found some tres leches cake.
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154. - That's great.
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155. No, I just cleared out a space
to work on the Love bomb.
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156. Okay,
I'll change out of these filthy clothes
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157. and into some filthy lingerie.
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158. - I don't think I washed it.
- No.
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159. I meant what we're gonna do
to this guy. Herbert Love.
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160. Oh.
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161. Herbert Love
was a very conservative candidate
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162. for a very conservative seat
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163. in the very conservative
House of Representatives.
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164. The two women who accused me of this crime
do not have a great sense of humor.
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165. In fact, I'll tell you the joke
and let you be the judge.
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166. Although he was prone
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167. to the more-than-occasional
harassment scandal.
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168. I forgot the joke.
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169. Oh, he's about to be harassed, all right.
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170. I'm gonna spray the bastards
with ink and glitter
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171. at his big fundraising event this week.
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172. It'll be in their ears for weeks.
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173. Thing is,
I can't find the glitter anywhere.
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174. - No. I'd say check the junk drawer,
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175. but I can't differentiate anymore.
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176. Oh, God. What is this?
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177. Oh, okay. Good, perfect timing,
because this is where you come in.
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178. A lot of this has to do
with ink compression, oxygen capacity,
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179. expulsion pressures, but the point is...
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180. three days before the event,
I'm gonna take the explosive
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181. - and hide in the podium.
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182. On the night of the event,
at exactly 7:30,
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183. I'm gonna pull the pin to the tank.
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184. Then you're gonna knock on the podium door
to let me know that the coast is clear.
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185. When Love steps up to the podium
at exactly eight o'clock, blam!
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186. The podium doors burst open
and he and everyone will be—
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187. Blue in the face, yep.
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188. That's better than what I had.
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189. I was gonna say they'd be covered
in ink and glitter.
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190. Or we could support Lucille 2,
who he's running against.
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191. Lucille 2 was indeed
Herbert Love's opponent in that race,
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192. and although she denied it was the reason
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193. for her adopting
an Hispanic high school student,
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194. it was undeniable that she knew
what cultural buttons to push
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195. to win their hearts.
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196. No, she's part of the problem!
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197. Wait, you haven't been going over there?
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198. - No one can know we're here.
- Of course not.
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199. Does it look like I'm lying?
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200. It did.
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201. But not to a man with face blindness.
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202. No, I guess not.
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203. Because Lindsay could only
spend so many hours
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204. with a shrill feathered creature.
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205. You look marvelous in that!
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206. Look.
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207. God, I can't believe how much I've missed
the feel of anything that isn't hemp.
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208. And try this.
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209. Isn't that funny? I used to wear that
with the captain.
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210. - And I was...
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211. And not make eye contact, yes!
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212. What am I going to do,
cut it down for my foster child?
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213. Oh, look what I made you.
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214. Oh, I love it.
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215. It's glittery, like me.
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216. Lindsay was no stranger
to making campaign posters,
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217. having made several
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218. in her seventh grade class president
campaign against Sally Sitwell.
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219. Sally ultimately proved successful,
with a more fact-based campaign.
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220. A couple of tiny notes, honey.
There are two S in "congress,"
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221. and I just call myself—
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222. - Lucille 1, I'm so sorry.
- No, just Lucille.
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223. But I love it.
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224. Oh, I wish you'd officially work
for my campaign.
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225. We could make such a difference.
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226. Marky says that's not the way
we should make change.
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227. Oh, speaking of, do you mind
if I go through your couch cushions?
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228. I'm sort of playing hooky from beg.
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229. Honey, I wish you'd take the rest
of this tres leches cake.
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230. It's from a dear Hispanic supporter
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231. and I'll never get it into the bay
in one piece.
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232. Honestly, Lucille 2,
you've been like a mother to me.
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233. Except kind and loving
and willing to let me eat.
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234. Lindsay knew she had to keep
her secret life of luxury hidden...
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235. You're looking at Lindsay. Still Lindsay.
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236. from an anti-everything boyfriend
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237. who was preparing to squat in a podium
for three days with a paint bomb.
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238. just to throw a pie
at Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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239. I never heard about that.
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240. Yeah, well, the press tried to spin it as,
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241. "Hippy tries to play pie tin Frisbee
with the governor,"
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242. but... this time I'm eating beforehand. Yeah, I see that.
Hey, can I get you a fork,
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243. 'cause that's my brother
whose face you're licking.
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244. That's a face?
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245. - Everything I do is wrong.
- Oh.
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246. I knew you wouldn't be on board with this.
I'm sorry to say this,
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247. - but you are losing your passion.
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248. You don't even look at me.
I don't know if I've said this before,
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249. it's not important or anything,
but I am really, really pretty.
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250. I'm the straightest guy you know!
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251. Why does every man
feel like they have to say that to me?
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252. Quiet, Cindy's in heat! You know how much
she hates it when we argue.
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253. Listen to me. This protest of mine
could really make a difference.
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254. - It's gonna land you in jail.
- Oh, there it is.
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255. Yeah, so that's it. You know what?
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256. You are just as selfish and money-hungry
as you ever were. Yes, you are.
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257. That's not true. Ooh, a Neiman's catalog.
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258. But it was what she found stuck
inside the catalog that got her attention.
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259. "From Gangie for Facelift."
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260. What a load of...
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261. - Mother!
But after a year
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262. of not hearing from a youngest son
she'd refused to see,
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263. Mother was about to get a load
of bad news herself
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264. Yes?
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265. I'm here to see you about your son.
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266. Oh, this is a ploy.
He's trying to get me to see him.
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267. How do I know you're really in the army?
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268. Who did Larry Kert replace in Company?
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269. I don't know.
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270. I know who he thought he was replacing,
and it was Dean Jones.
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271. But he didn't come close.
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272. My Buster?
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273. What happened
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274. Mrs. Bluth, your son went down
while piloting a plane over Afghanistan.
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275. - Oh, my God.
- He deserves a big hand for that,
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276. and we gave him one.
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277. I'm afraid besides that,
there's nothing we can do.
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278. Hi, Mother.
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279. You look fine.
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280. The doctor said you went down
while piloting a plane over Afghanistan.
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281. Oh, yeah, that plane was in Afghanistan.
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282. He had been playing for 47 straight hours.
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283. where the army had taken advantage
of Buster's childlike inability
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284. to distinguish between games and reality
by making him a drone pilot.
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285. You're not gonna get away from me,
little nurse.
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286. He had been playing for 47 straight hours.
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287. Take that, Taliban wedding! Ha ha ha!
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288. But like anyone who plays
video games for too long,
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289. he started to make mistakes.
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290. Hey, Bluth, you just took out
an art museum in Madrid.
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291. - Maybe you should take a break.
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292. - You could've hurt some innocent people.
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293. You mean I've been hurting guilty people?
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294. But Buster was a peaceful man
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295. - and didn't take well to this notion.
- Pilot down!
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296. It was the kind of emergency
that the drone pilot paramedics
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297. - had long been waiting for.
- I got a man down! Sorry we're late. Some kid
swallowed an eye at the Build-A-Bear.
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298. Why do they have us at a mini
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299. And next door,
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300. the top brass addressed it
at their four o'clock meeting.
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301. Apparently no one told them
that they were real planes.
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302. If this guy comes after us,
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303. they could pull funding
for the whole program.
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304. So, how do we buy off Old One First we gotta find something he needs.
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305. Well, we do have the bionics program.
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306. Ice cream!
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307. Maybe we shouldn't be
discussing this here.
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308. - Damn these mini-malls.
So you fell out of a chair
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309. and for this the government
gives you applause?
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310. No, a big hand.
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311. I thought I recognized
that little son of a bitch!
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312. This is why you can't keep a job
in one hospital!
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313. You mislead people!
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314. Why does it have to be so big?
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315. Well, they said the miniaturisation
comes later.
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316. I mean, you remember how big
your first cellphone was?
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317. So you had me come out here
under false pretences?
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318. You wouldn't come here any other way.
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319. You haven't seen me in a year.
It's why I went to army, to win you back.
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320. - You have to forgive me.
- It's not about forgiving you.
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321. Although I don't.
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322. - You need to grow up, Buster.
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323. I'm glad you have a new hand.
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324. But you need to find someone else
to hold it.
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325. Tell the prison limo to come around.
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326. Fine! I got my own family now! Army!
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327. And they want me!
You guys want me, right?
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328. Oh, yeah. They're not gonna
invest this kind of money
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329. - without wanting you for keeps.
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330. Once you learn how to use that thing,
they'll turn you into a killing monster.
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331. Monster?
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332. Well, that explains the photo shoot.
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333. And as Buster realized his tour
of duty was just starting,
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334. George Sr. was about to get some bad news
as well, from his attorney.
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335. I mean, you didn't drive all this distance
for good news.
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336. You've got a balloon payment due
on the mortgage on this property.
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337. It's about 15 million.
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338. What am I gonna do?
Where am I going to get that money? I thought you were gonna sell the land
to the government to build a wall.
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339. - Yeah, but that was put on hold.
It's election time.
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340. Now's the time to get a politician
to push for the wall.
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341. Isn't that dizzy kook
Lucille Austero running?
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342. No, she can't know about this.
She's a majority owner
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343. of my company, and besides,
she's so pro-immigrant.
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344. What about the other guy, Herbert Love?
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345. Right? He's got a rally tonight.
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346. Go and see him.
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347. Everyone knows how persuasive you can be.
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348. Used to be.
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349. I'll be lucky to sell a glass of lemonade
for $1,000 today.
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350. Listen,
if I can take no more than a law degree
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351. from the Virgin Islands
and turn it into a net worth of $750,000,
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352. before, of course, what I owe in lawsuits,
you can talk a politician
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353. into wasting public funds on a wall.
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354. - Mm-hmm.
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355. But I'm supposed to meet my wife tonight.
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356. Which I'm dreading, by the way.
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357. One of the changes that had
occurred over the previous year...
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358. My right rear tire is low.
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359. was a decrease
in the physical intimacy George Sr.
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360. and his wife had enjoyed.
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361. You're so ugly from behind.
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362. 'Cause if no one shows up at that office,
she really will divorce me.
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363. Too bad you can't use a double.
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364. Oh, also, I used a lookalike
named Stewart
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365. to take the California bar for me.
But you knew that, right?
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366. It would prove to be
a prescient comment...
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367. - Because later,
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368. while looking for his own double,
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369. - Oscar.
- ... George Sr.,
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370. who'd been acting more like Oscar,
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371. found Oscar,
who was acting exactly like George Sr.
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372. Maybe I had a better offer.
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373. And not a word... to Dr. Norman.
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374. He doesn't think women should be
awake for it. Great Dr. Norman!
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375. You know, we have to be very careful.
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376. Oscar, we are trying to help people here.
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377. I know. I know.
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378. I know, but you know what?
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379. It just gets hot in there sometimes!
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380. Why not you go do hot sweat?
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381. Let Oscar do squeeze!
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382. I mean...
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383. I need a break.
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384. I just can't go on pretending
to be you.
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385. Sitting silently in a 100-degree mud hut
for an hour and a half.
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386. There has to be something else...
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387. I can impersonate you doing.
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388. It's funny you should say that,
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389. because if you're okay
with the sitting silently part,
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390. I have something for you
that's quite chilling.
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391. George Sr. was out to meet
the right-wing politician Herbert Love
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392. as Oscar headed out to visit Lucille,
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393. but dressed as George,
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394. which is exactly who Barry thought
he was talking to.
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395. I just pooped in a hole and covered it up.
I hope I did the right thing.
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396. I really feel bad for the guy
that's got to dig that up
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397. for the foundation for the wall.
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398. Yeah. What wall?
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399. Very good, George.
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400. We gotta be careful
where we talk about this.
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401. I gotta watch my words.
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402. And that's when Oscar realized
that George Sr. didn't buy the land
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403. to be the best brother
in Southern California.
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404. And Lucille,
who'd finally let go of Buster,
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405. was about to get another visit
from a relative first.
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406. You've got no backhand!
I'm working the whole court
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407. and you keep hitting the balls
high.
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408. Oh, great, looks like we've got another
high-end hooker in here.
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409. Oh, thank you, Mother.
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410. So, let's cut to the chase.
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411. I want to talk to you about a check
for plastic surgery.
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412. I already wrote you a check for that.
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413. Lucille had, back when Lindsay
thought she was only 12 years old.
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414. New nose.
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415. Worrying it would hurt
her daughter's feelings...
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416. Put a Y on there.
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417. she put a fun spin on it.
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418. Nosey.
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419. And you should be thanking me for that.
You looked like a can opener.
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420. No, a check for my daughter.
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421. She's gorgeous, and I love her
just the way she is.
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422. When was the last time you saw her?
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423. She's been living with her father
the past year.
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424. It's been... really hard.
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425. I'll be out on parole
by the time you work up a tear.
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426. What makes you think I wrote a check
to your daughter, Nosey?
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427. It came to the penthouse.
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428. Well, well, Little Miss Lives-Off-The-Land
is living in my penthouse.
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429. Okay, so you've figured it out,
Gene Parmesan.
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430. Just goes to show the apple
does not far from the tree fall.
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431. I am like you nothing.
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432. You're not even my real mother.
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433. I... am a political activist.
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434. Oh, you're a lot more like me
than you know, sister.
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435. Except I can back up my bad choices.
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436. - I'm doing hard time.
- Your three p.m. hot rock massage is open.
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437. - Thanks for coming, sweetheart.
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438. But Lindsay wanted to prove
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439. that she wasn't like her so-called mother,
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440. and that's why she did this.
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441. I'm in.
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442. Let's bomb the bastard.
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443. - It's Lindsay.
- Yes! Yeah!
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444. On the next Arrested
Fateful Consequences...
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445. Oscar confirms his suspicions of the wall
while impersonating George Sr.
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446. I thought we...
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447. I thought we could talk about the wall.
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448. You know, the wall?
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449. Have you baked your brain
in that pizza oven,
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450. or is senility your backup plan
if we can't get the government
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451. to buy the property?
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452. So we only did buy that land
for personal gain.
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453. Well, what Oscar doesn't know
won't hurt him.
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454. Oscar.
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455. And although it wasn't
a perfect impersonation...
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456. I love it when you call my name.
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457. he did have the maca root.
George!
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458. Don't call me that.
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