1. During her senior year of high school,Copy !req
2. Maeby Funke was dating this boy.Copy !req
3. How was that?Copy !req
4. Perfecto.Copy !req
5. His name was Perfecto Telles.Copy !req
6. And if you do my Spanish,
I'll teach you how to French.Copy !req
7. Everyone could see that
they had chemistry together,Copy !req
8. but they really bonded
in Donnie Richter's algebra class.Copy !req
9. I don't want to embarrass anyone,Copy !req
10. so, everyone, close your eyes, close 'em.Copy !req
11. Now, if you passed the test,
go ahead and get upCopy !req
12. and exit the classroom.Copy !req
13. Does that include the crew?Copy !req
14. No, the Babies Having Babies crew
can keep their eyes open.Copy !req
15. - 38.
- Oh, 43.Copy !req
16. That's because I'm good with num—Copy !req
17. Oh, no, actually it's 34.Copy !req
18. If it's dumb to stay behind with you,
call me a dummy.Copy !req
19. We don't say "dummy,"
and unfortunately you two alge-tardsCopy !req
20. are going to need some special tutoring.Copy !req
21. Which is how they found
themselves headed to the local college,Copy !req
22. along with the other
math-challenged students.Copy !req
23. Hey, when we get there,
don't forget you're Perfecto's woman.Copy !req
24. I don't want to hear about some
smooth college guy who stole you away.Copy !req
25. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
26. What kind of loser spends his free time
tutoring high school kids?Copy !req
27. This kind.
- Hey, you must be...Copy !req
28. What?Copy !req
29. George Michael?Copy !req
30. Now the story of what happened
when the one manCopy !req
31. who was holding his family together
finally let go,Copy !req
32. and the separate journeys that
eventually gave them no choiceCopy !req
33. but to come back together.Copy !req
34. It's Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences.Copy !req
35. Maeby had just discovered that the tutorCopy !req
36. for her senior year
high school algebra class...Copy !req
37. Huh, what is this?
What are you doing here?Copy !req
38. was her age, her cousin,
and a senior in college.Copy !req
39. As I live and breathe, I...Copy !req
40. I thought you were the girl.
I'm supposed to tutor a kid from—Copy !req
41. High school, yeah, that's me.Copy !req
42. Crazy. That is just crazy.Copy !req
43. But, wait, why are you in high school?Copy !req
44. Didn't we graduate together
five years ago?Copy !req
45. It was a decent question.Copy !req
46. After all, it had been several years
since the precocious MaebyCopy !req
47. had already fooled a major studio
into making her a film executive.Copy !req
48. - My first project is about my family.
- Ooh!Copy !req
49. Which is why I thought
you'd be a perfect assistant,Copy !req
50. - you know where the bodies are buried.
- I even helped bury some of them.Copy !req
51. Maeby was only 17 at the time.Copy !req
52. - Totally.Copy !req
53. But even more provocatively,
it was also a time during whichCopy !req
54. the two cousins got somewhat intimate.Copy !req
55. You might not even be related to us.Copy !req
56. But later, while fleeing
both his own feelingsCopy !req
57. and a disaster-bound family party
on the Queen Mary,Copy !req
58. George Michael got some advice...Copy !req
59. She might not be a blood relative,
but she is still family.Copy !req
60. from a man experienced
in the folly of fleeing from a family.Copy !req
61. So upon returning
to the Coast Guard headquarters,Copy !req
62. George Michael found the girl
he now had to back away fromCopy !req
63. on her back.Copy !req
64. What are you doing?
- Shh! Shh!Copy !req
65. Trying to get my parents to notice me.Copy !req
66. I've been here for, like,
an hour and a half.Copy !req
67. It had been seven minutes.Copy !req
68. You think it would help if I went over
and said, like, "Hey, Maeby's dead"?Copy !req
69. No, that would just mean
that they notice you.Copy !req
70. - Oh, right, like I'm dying.Copy !req
71. There's nothing keeping us together.Copy !req
72. I believe we're thinking the same thing.Copy !req
73. Obviously they've just got a lot on their
plate right now. They're clearly busy.Copy !req
74. - It's from nothing.Copy !req
75. But, you know, I'm actually—
I'm glad to have a moment alone with you,Copy !req
76. because it gives us a chance
to talk about us.Copy !req
77. You know, I really care about you.Copy !req
78. Oh, boy, here we go.Copy !req
79. You want to get more serious.Copy !req
80. And Maeby didn't, because—Copy !req
81. and I never told you this,Copy !req
82. but George Michael
wasn't a very good kisser.Copy !req
83. It seems he both used his tongueCopy !req
84. to fend off the intruding tongue,Copy !req
85. while the upper lip tended to retract,Copy !req
86. revealing an exposed area
from the front teeth to the canines.Copy !req
87. Really just rookie mistakes,Copy !req
88. but all of it conspired
to make Maeby concernedCopy !req
89. about him wanting to get more serious.Copy !req
90. - No, less serious.Copy !req
91. My dad doesn't think it's such a good idea
for you and me to be together.Copy !req
92. And that doesn't make me hotter to you?Copy !req
93. No, I could see that argument,Copy !req
94. but I just really need to focus
on graduating right now,Copy !req
95. and maybe you should, too, you know.Copy !req
96. Maybe that's the best way
to get your parents' attention.Copy !req
97. That's a great idea.Copy !req
98. I've got two months to flunk.
That's gotta disappoint them.Copy !req
99. And that's what she set out to do...Copy !req
100. So for some reason, they didn't
send me a cap and gown,Copy !req
101. And I was gonna make one out of sheets,
but I couldn't find...Copy !req
102. only to discover
that Maeby's graduationCopy !req
103. wasn't top-of-mind for her parents.Copy !req
104. They left town.Copy !req
105. So she put her plan to put
her graduation on hold on holdCopy !req
106. and headed off to India...Copy !req
107. No, we do not need that many extras.Copy !req
108. for her ironic job that was
becoming less ironic and more job.Copy !req
109. Okay, do we have to pay them
in money or in rice?Copy !req
110. They're in the union.
You have to pay with rice.Copy !req
111. The movie she was supervising
was the latestCopy !req
112. in her "terrifying grandmother"
Gangie franchise,Copy !req
113. this one taking place in India.Copy !req
114. All right, I say we get 10,000 extras,Copy !req
115. - and then that way we have it.
- We have it.Copy !req
116. Yeah, we have it.Copy !req
117. I'm going to start wearing this back home.Copy !req
118. Someone tell her to shave her arms,
poor thing.Copy !req
119. And soon, she and her team
arrived and headed off to the hotel...Copy !req
120. - "Gan-jeez."Copy !req
121. Gangie on the Ganges?
That doesn't even make sense.Copy !req
122. where she found out
why her mother wasn't at the graduationCopy !req
123. that Maeby also wasn't not at.Copy !req
124. You don't get it.Copy !req
125. I'm not used to third world hotels.Copy !req
126. No, you don't get it.
You're so full ofCopy !req
127. You have got to be kidding me.Copy !req
128. Do we have a hair and makeup crew with us?Copy !req
129. Pretty makeup or scary makeup?Copy !req
130. Scary.Copy !req
131. Well, I think we have the crew that did
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.Copy !req
132. Perfect.Copy !req
133. You must live life truthfully.Copy !req
134. And that's how Lindsay ended up
getting this spiritual adviceCopy !req
135. from her own daughter.Copy !req
136. - I'm so full of passion.Copy !req
137. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
138. Pull your head out of the sand.Copy !req
139. Love is where you left it.Copy !req
140. The only person back home is Tobias.Copy !req
141. You have no children?Copy !req
142. No. Why do you ask?Copy !req
143. Well, yes, a daughter.
She's away at boarding school in England.Copy !req
144. Is that where we left it?Copy !req
145. Although you'd think this
would have given her away.Copy !req
146. And soon she returned in time
for what was supposedCopy !req
147. to be a going off to college party…Copy !req
148. - Congratulations!
- Thanks.Copy !req
149. for George Michael.Copy !req
150. - We are so proud.
- We have a little something for you.Copy !req
151. No, you don't have to do anything.
I mean, you threw me this meeting.Copy !req
152. A little something something to buy a car.Copy !req
153. Really?Copy !req
154. It was something Maeby was certainCopy !req
155. would set off alarm bells
for her own parents.Copy !req
156. But the party wouldn't last long.Copy !req
157. You know what, I am done with this family.Copy !req
158. I hope you've saved some money
'cause you're gonna need every dime now.Copy !req
159. What's this? Return it. Or rip it up.Copy !req
160. - Michael.
- Come on. Give it a rip.Copy !req
161. Rip it up, right down the center.Copy !req
162. That's it. Rip it.Copy !req
163. Couple more. Did you get it?Copy !req
164. Proud of you.Copy !req
165. - Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, George Michael.Copy !req
166. But don't worry,
Michael did make sure his son got a carCopy !req
167. in time to be sent off to college.Copy !req
168. And although he would arrive
without his possessions,Copy !req
169. he was eager to find a place
where he could fit right in.Copy !req
170. Hey, hey, check it out!Copy !req
171. Fortunately, he was
resourceful when distancing himselfCopy !req
172. from the tarnished Bluth family name.Copy !req
173. No. No, no.Copy !req
174. What?Copy !req
175. During his freshman year,
George Michael hit the ground running.Copy !req
176. He was breaking some of the old taboos,
drinking Pepsi in the morning.Copy !req
177. So that's a breakfast combo with a Pepsi.Copy !req
178. Sometimes having some eggs at night.Copy !req
179. Excuse me, I forgot it wasn't morning.Copy !req
180. He was soon finding that others
enjoyed his sense of humor.Copy !req
181. Meanwhile, Maeby was working on
getting her parents to notice...Copy !req
182. Going back to school. Senior year!Copy !req
183. that she was now in her second
or sophomore senior year.Copy !req
184. And perhaps it was the size of the home...Copy !req
185. No one cares?Copy !req
186. But the surprise of her
still being in high school...Copy !req
187. This is when drugs become an issue.Copy !req
188. went undetected...Copy !req
189. Time for babies having babies!Copy !req
190. Is Babies Having Babies on?
That's my favorite show.Copy !req
191. by a father focused
on his acting careerCopy !req
192. - and a mother focused on herself.
- Maeby, you're gonna be late for school.Copy !req
193. God, they grow up so slowlyCopy !req
194. But if the collapse
of the housing market,Copy !req
195. Tobias' lack of auditions,Copy !req
196. or even the unnecessary writers' strike
didn't open their eyesCopy !req
197. the suicide of their ruined and despondent
real estate and talent agentCopy !req
198. certainly would.Copy !req
199. A warning, in a way. His message, perhaps,
to live within our meansCopy !req
200. and be realistic about our lives.Copy !req
201. Then I shall redouble my efforts
so that he died in vain.Copy !req
202. And yet it didn't.Copy !req
203. Meaning he will have led a pointless life,
is what I mean. Yes, carry on. Thank you.Copy !req
204. Although they did try to have
one Thanksgiving together as a family…Copy !req
205. - We have a lot to be thankful for.
- Including Duck L'Orange!Copy !req
206. A lack of attention to detailCopy !req
207. with regard to the prep phase
of the cookingCopy !req
208. resulted in them eating out at
the Fountain Valley China Garden instead.Copy !req
209. Okay, we cook duck for you.Copy !req
210. Still, Maeby was ready
to pull the plug on the high school ruse,Copy !req
211. when this happened.Copy !req
212. Look, I'm sorry, Tobias,
but we're trying to save somethingCopy !req
213. that just couldn't be saved.Copy !req
214. It seems Tobias and Lindsay
had recently met another couple, Marky and DeBrie, at what
Tobias thought was an acting class,Copy !req
215. but that turned out to be
a methadone clinic.Copy !req
216. Soon they joined them for a double dateCopy !req
217. at a merchandise-for-food
barter restaurant,Copy !req
218. and after some improv,
Lindsay connected with Marky,Copy !req
219. only to run away from a life
she felt wasn't working.Copy !req
220. And I have to follow my shaman's advice.Copy !req
221. I have to be true to myself.Copy !req
222. Can you delete this so I can
leave a message for Maeby?Copy !req
223. Lindsay, I have met someone.Copy !req
224. It's not important who it is.
It's Sue Storm!Copy !req
225. Tobias had made a similar swap
at the swapping-themed restaurantCopy !req
226. after connecting with
the one-time Fantastic Four actress.Copy !req
227. We're both actors, anyway...Copy !req
228. Erase this message,
and I'll leave her a mess—Copy !req
229. Maeby, honey, Daddy has insisted
on raising you alone.Copy !req
230. But at least her father was choked up.Copy !req
231. Maeby, your daddy's
not going to be around anymore.Copy !req
232. Excuse me, I swallowed a bug there.Copy !req
233. Your daddy's not going
to be around anymore.Copy !req
234. So each of her parents thought
she was with the other,Copy !req
235. - which meant she had the house to herself.Copy !req
236. This is the Widow Carr,Copy !req
237. and for some reason
it's my job to tell you,Copy !req
238. since you never made payment,
your house is being foreclosed.Copy !req
239. Briefly.Copy !req
240. Also, Tobias, you got a callback
for something called The Big BangTheory.Copy !req
241. Unattended and needing
an income, Maeby returned to work.Copy !req
242. Only to discover—Copy !req
243. - Guess what. I'll just tell you.Copy !req
244. I feel like we'll be here forever,
and I have a meeting.Copy !req
245. You're fired.Copy !req
246. She'd been replaced.Copy !req
247. Why?Copy !req
248. Because you don't have
a high school diploma,Copy !req
249. and we have a very strict policy here,
that everyone has to have a diplomaCopy !req
250. on account of the fact
that Ron never graduated.Copy !req
251. - Actually, I was thinkingCopy !req
252. I wasn't gonna have to fire you
'cause it's been on Deadline all day.Copy !req
253. How did they find out?Copy !req
254. I told them.Copy !req
255. And so she decided to embark
on her third, or junior,Copy !req
256. senior year of high school.Copy !req
257. While George Michael's sophomore year
of college began with a—Copy !req
258. Boom!Copy !req
259. And that's what we call
only being behind by three!Copy !req
260. So that stuff's all going on
with the Sitwell CompanyCopy !req
261. and then, we end up playing them
in a softball game!Copy !req
262. loyal friends.Copy !req
263. I'm like, "How can..."Copy !req
264. Romance.Copy !req
265. Betrayal.Copy !req
266. - Becky.Copy !req
267. - You guys broke up.
- Thanks, Ray. I almost forgot.Copy !req
268. The triumph of friendship.Copy !req
269. What's up, Ray?
Oh, thanks, Ray. I almost forgot!Copy !req
270. Know what I was just thinking about?Copy !req
271. And as surely as stability returned,Copy !req
272. junior year ushered
in a new era of experimentation.Copy !req
273. It's all about the science of kissing
between a man and a woman.Copy !req
274. That always has fascinated me!Copy !req
275. - Sheila will take you.
As George Michael triedCopy !req
276. to compensate
for his lack of income from his fatherCopy !req
277. by volunteering for experiments.Copy !req
278. Hi.Copy !req
279. So I don't run off?Copy !req
280. - I hope you're not feeling too awkward.
- Don't be crazy.Copy !req
281. Now, when the mouth-to-mouth test
begins,Copy !req
282. I'm gonna be yelling out letters
that indicate mouth movements.Copy !req
283. What I need you to do is give me on
a scale of 1 to 10, your pleasure level.Copy !req
284. - Fine.
- 10, the most pleasurable, 1, the least.Copy !req
285. Let's hope we get to 10.Copy !req
286. Well, work our way up to it.Copy !req
287. Bringing in the mouth unit!Copy !req
288. And that's when he realized
what the straps were for.Copy !req
289. Is that— I guess it's not a—Copy !req
290. - I think one on C.Copy !req
291. M?
- One on M.Copy !req
292. - One for sure on M. One.Copy !req
293. - One.Copy !req
294. - One. One.Copy !req
295. Moving to deep French!Copy !req
296. Meanwhile, with no job,
no place to live and no parents around,Copy !req
297. Maeby moved into her grandparents'
vacated penthouse.Copy !req
298. What?Copy !req
299. And that's when Maeby did what
we in the entertainment industryCopy !req
300. call Deadlining.Copy !req
301. But the penthouse wasn't free for long.Copy !req
302. So she retreated to
the now abandoned model home,Copy !req
303. where she discovered it's a lot harder
to get out of a Bluth home...Copy !req
304. Pieces ofCopy !req
305. than into one.Copy !req
306. George Michael, however,
was in a much more exotic locationCopy !req
307. for his college junior semester abroad.Copy !req
308. When after months of trying not to be
an imposing guest in his new country,Copy !req
309. he was ready for a summer that would
end up turning life upside down.Copy !req
310. When the woman whose children
he was nannying...Copy !req
311. opened him up sexually.Copy !req
312. Did Ernesto get his four o'clock?Copy !req
313. The drones are coming!
Nothing matters now!Copy !req
314. The teeth!
They must not be used like this.Copy !req
315. It was actually
a jaw and lip retraction issue,Copy !req
316. but she had neither a command of
the language nor the data that we do.Copy !req
317. You make love like a boy!Copy !req
318. Spanish! Speak to me in SpanishCopy !req
319. because the only way
the college credit is activated is if I—Copy !req
320. Cook atCopy !req
321. Overpower me! Yes.Copy !req
322. - Make me cry.
- You're a terrible mother!Copy !req
323. It was a very different
George MichaelCopy !req
324. that returned to school for senior year.Copy !req
325. Eager to unleash his new overt sexuality
on an unsuspecting campus.Copy !req
326. It gets better!Copy !req
327. And for George Michael,
senior year did get better.Copy !req
328. He was like a king returning
to his castle.Copy !req
329. I feel like a king returning
to his castle.Copy !req
330. Only to discover that
they thought he was two kings.Copy !req
331. Welcome to your castle!Copy !req
332. And they had doubled
the size of his castleCopy !req
333. Double castle...Copy !req
334. Can't wait to meet Michael, George.Copy !req
335. It would be the perfect backdrop
to unveil George Michael 2.0.Copy !req
336. But George Michael's
development was about to be forestalled.Copy !req
337. - Dad.
- Pete died.Copy !req
338. Oh.Copy !req
339. - Don't worry about it.Copy !req
340. Don't you worry about it.
I like this! I like the mustache.Copy !req
341. - It's kind of fun.
- That's great.Copy !req
342. Probably gonna want to shave it off
before the start of next quarter,Copy !req
343. or they're gonna think you're a musician.Copy !req
344. And perhaps it was the factCopy !req
345. that she had never really
disappointed her parents,Copy !req
346. and they were getting older,Copy !req
347. or it was because of the lack of internet
at the model home.Copy !req
348. That is it. This is like living in 1999.Copy !req
349. But that's when Maeby began
her final, or senior,Copy !req
350. senior year of high school,Copy !req
351. And it ultimately led to this.Copy !req
352. But it's illegal, right?
Can't you go to jail?Copy !req
353. Only if you're caught.Copy !req
354. So I'm still gonna stay in high school
till my parents notice me.Copy !req
355. You know, just, like, let them think,
"Oh, no, should we be worried?Copy !req
356. - Yeah.Copy !req
357. Well, I mean, isn't it
kind of a little immatureCopy !req
358. to try and make
your parents worry like that?Copy !req
359. That's good.
I'm gonna try and work that in there.Copy !req
360. No, I think it's in there.Copy !req
361. Yeah, well, let's get you in here before
our third roommate shows up.Copy !req
362. - That's Paul Haun.Copy !req
363. Yeah, well, one guy
is just kind of crashing here.Copy !req
364. It can't be worse than living
with your dad.Copy !req
365. It's not. No, it's not worse than that.Copy !req
366. And later, she was joined by her uncle.Copy !req
367. Didn't say it was your cousin.Copy !req
368. That's smart, let him think
there's a girl in here.Copy !req
369. We were just complaining
about roommates.Copy !req
370. P-Hound.Copy !req
371. - I thought it was the other one.
- No, it was P-Hound, yeah.Copy !req
372. He's the worst. See, I think if
George Michael and I didn't haveCopy !req
373. each other as roommates,
we'd be going crazy.Copy !req
374. And for a moment,
Maeby felt superior to her cousin—Copy !req
375. And her uncle for that matter.Copy !req
376. Actually, have you told her
about your software?Copy !req
377. - He's got this privacy software.Copy !req
378. Keeps people from stealing your stuff.
Tell her, pal.Copy !req
379. Maeby tried to hide her jealousy.Copy !req
380. So it's privacy software
that's also antiCopy !req
381. You have a way of doing this?Copy !req
382. Well, it's just a Boolean-driven
aggregation, really,Copy !req
383. of what programmers call "hacker-traps..."Copy !req
384. But as she listened
to her cousin discuss computer technologyCopy !req
385. she had no understanding of,
she lost that feeling of superiority,Copy !req
386. and her self-esteem plummetedCopy !req
387. as she started to question the entiretyCopy !req
388. of what she'd done with her life
for the last several years.Copy !req
389. and they want to steal
your music and copy your moviesCopy !req
390. or just look at your photos,
you know, this prevents that.Copy !req
391. It just neutralizes that
so it's not even a threat.Copy !req
392. It's called Fakeblock.Copy !req
393. Great name.Copy !req
394. Well, it's super low-hanging fruit.
Someone's gonna do it.Copy !req
395. We're just trying to be those guys.Copy !req
396. Maeby was feeling discouragedCopy !req
397. as she got back on the bus
for high school.Copy !req
398. You want to get high
with us behind the gym?Copy !req
399. Wait, we don't know her.Copy !req
400. I hear there's an undercover cop
at school.Copy !req
401. Can you imagine
what kind of loser pretendsCopy !req
402. to be in high school
when they're in their 20s?Copy !req
403. It's pretty gutsy, right?Copy !req
404. I mean, it's better
to take the risk, right?Copy !req
405. Yeah, maybe you're right.Copy !req
406. Cop.Copy !req
407. Hey, how was your tutor?
He gonna take you away from me?Copy !req
408. Not until his software hits
and he can buy me an apartment.Copy !req
409. I'm living in a hole.Copy !req
410. I hear they're hiring at Chipotle.Copy !req
411. And that's when Maeby realized
her parents weren't the only onesCopy !req
412. who'd stopped paying attention
to her life.Copy !req
413. Can I get a Macallan 12 neat, water back?Copy !req
414. ID?Copy !req
415. Actually, can we make it— marry me.
A Wild Turkey?Copy !req
416. - There you go.
- Thank you.Copy !req
417. I'm supposed to believe you're 17?Copy !req
418. Oh, no, sorry.Copy !req
419. That's my fake for sneaking back
into high school.Copy !req
420. Here we go, 23.Copy !req
421. It was finally clear to Maeby
that she needed to graduate high school.Copy !req
422. Although while she was away from the bar,
Perfecto showed upCopy !req
423. Hey, Perfecto!Copy !req
424. - No, no, no, he's with us.Copy !req
425. Show him your badge.Copy !req
426. And that's when Maeby realized
Perfecto wasn't a graduating senior.Copy !req
427. He's a cop.Copy !req
428. And she wouldn't be either.Copy !req
429. On the next Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences. Maeby returns to high school to find
another senior who shouldn't be there.Copy !req
430. out of me.Copy !req
431. And worried about graduating,
Maeby seeks a legal opinionCopy !req
432. who happens to know this part
of the law very well.Copy !req
433. After 21, it is illegal for you to enroll
in high school in California.Copy !req
434. As a matter of fact, you cannot even lurk.Copy !req
435. "Lurk."Copy !req
436. Okay, so what do I do?
Because the guy who caught meCopy !req
437. goes to school with me.Copy !req
438. You get something incriminating on him.Copy !req
439. Call me in the office, we'll discuss it,Copy !req
440. and then I can also keep a record,
for billing and so forth.Copy !req
441. And Maeby proves to be...Copy !req
442. Maybe I'll keep a record of it,
follow up with my own bill.Copy !req
443. a gifted incriminator.Copy !req
444. Oh, very good.Copy !req
445. You should be the lawyer.
Very good. Pro bono.Copy !req
446. And Tobias becomes addicted
to his new profession.Copy !req
447. I'm starving.Copy !req
448. Yes, you are starving!
So, would you like some butter?Copy !req
449. I could give you some butter,
and you can pay for it with a shoe.Copy !req
450. I'm sorry, but his guy's
not giving my guy anything to react to.Copy !req