1. Michael Bluth had finally
made good on his threat to go to PhoenixCopy !req
2. and even though the Phoenix he went to
was online,Copy !req
3. he still enjoyed
the full law school experienceCopy !req
4. by living in a dorm room while doing so.Copy !req
5. George Michael,
what is my logCopy !req
6. His son George Michael's
senior year dorm roomCopy !req
7. at the University of California, Irvine.Copy !req
8. What have we always said
is the most important thing?Copy !req
9. I have tried "family."
It does not work for me.Copy !req
10. No, privacy.Copy !req
11. No one should have your password but you.
I shouldn't even know it.Copy !req
12. Yes, you've made that point.Copy !req
13. Have I?Copy !req
14. My point is, we have no secrets
from each other.Copy !req
15. We know everything there is to know
about each other. We're like twins.Copy !req
16. I don't see us as twins.Copy !req
17. Yeah? You name me one way
in which we're different.Copy !req
18. I think you tend to be
better at feeling like you belong places.Copy !req
19. Do I?Copy !req
20. Well, I want you to start feeling
like you belong places.Copy !req
21. Look at that guy.
He thinks he's a musician.Copy !req
22. You've got to start having a little bit
better sense of humor about yourself.Copy !req
23. Look at me. People say I don't age.Copy !req
24. "Hey, look at that guy.
He's got the hair of a teenager."Copy !req
25. And I say, "Take your best shot,"Copy !req
26. because I think
that that's a good thingCopy !req
27. because I'm self-effacing.Copy !req
28. I want you to be able to do that.Copy !req
29. It's hard to be self-effacingCopy !req
30. when you're a perfect specimen
of rugged manlessness.Copy !req
31. No, you can't hear this,
but we're gonna work on it.Copy !req
32. That's why I'm living in your dorm.Copy !req
33. But it wasn't the only reason.Copy !req
34. Years earlier, after securing fundingCopy !req
35. to build the housing development
Sudden Valley,Copy !req
36. the economy suddenly went
into a valley itself.Copy !req
37. Business dried up immediatelyCopy !req
38. and desperate to cover
his copious building loans...Copy !req
39. Just till I get on my feet.Copy !req
40. Michael returned to the woman
he could count onCopy !req
41. to put off his downfall...Copy !req
42. I got you!Copy !req
43. even though he was soon put off
which caused her to fall down.Copy !req
44. That's a hot mess.Copy !req
45. But weeks stretched into monthsCopy !req
46. and although there was
the occasional knock on the door,Copy !req
47. it was seldom a viable buyer.Copy !req
48. And it's hard to say whether it was thisCopy !req
49. that made him lose hope...Copy !req
50. Love each other.Copy !req
51. Pete!Copy !req
52. or the death of that mailman.Copy !req
53. Come on.Copy !req
54. Wait here.Copy !req
55. Hang on, Pete!Copy !req
56. I got one bar!Copy !req
57. But Michael finally gave up.Copy !req
58. - Hey.
- Dad!Copy !req
59. I thought we'd have Thanksgiving here
for your senior year.Copy !req
60. I don't have a kitchen.Copy !req
61. These are my clothes.Copy !req
62. Pete died.Copy !req
63. I thought you were living here
because you had nowhere else to go.Copy !req
64. Yeah, and because you had this big double
room to yourself because of your name.Copy !req
65. The name George Michael did create
confusion in the campus housing office.Copy !req
66. This guy's name
is actually George Michael.Copy !req
67. No, it's two different guys.
They're twins, ugly.Copy !req
68. We should sign them up for Twin Club.Copy !req
69. And let's give them
the big handicap room.Copy !req
70. Yeah, that's the other thing.Copy !req
71. I kind of wanted to use this timeCopy !req
72. to almost kind of wean off
of the name George Michael.Copy !req
73. What?Copy !req
74. I don't know,
you know, you get older,Copy !req
75. you do a something search
of your own name.Copy !req
76. And in George Michael's case,
you find this.Copy !req
77. It was in this men's room in,
get this, Beverly Hills,Copy !req
78. that singer George Michael was arrestedCopy !req
79. for soliciting sex
from an undercover cop. It was your mother's idea
to call you George Michael.Copy !req
80. I think it was just
so that we didn't confuse youCopy !req
81. with your uncle George
or your grandfather George.Copy !req
82. - Right.
- I got it. Let's call you Boy George.Copy !req
83. Singer Boy George
in the news again today,Copy !req
84. this time for sexual assault
in a men's public bathroom.Copy !req
85. Beatrix Hebberly-Sneed,
Wee BBC Two.Copy !req
86. I think I'll just stick
with George Michael.Copy !req
87. Great choice.Copy !req
88. At least it was consensual.Copy !req
89. Now the story of what happenedCopy !req
90. when the one man
who was holding his family togetherCopy !req
91. finally let goCopy !req
92. and the separate journeys
that eventually gave them no choiceCopy !req
93. but to come back together.Copy !req
94. It's Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences.Copy !req
95. Michael was living in his son's dormCopy !req
96. to help him become more self-effacing.Copy !req
97. I guess the bigger point I'm makingCopy !req
98. is just that it's hard
to have any privacy,Copy !req
99. now that they've stuck me
with an actual roommate.Copy !req
100. Well, listen, I'm all for kicking
P-Hound out. You know that.Copy !req
101. You know,
I didn't really mean privacy from him.Copy !req
102. I know.Copy !req
103. You want your space from me?Copy !req
104. Look, listen, hey, look, listen.Copy !req
105. Listen, look it. Are you listening?Copy !req
106. You want your space. I get it.Copy !req
107. I did not mean to crowd you, pal.Copy !req
108. Listen, I thought that this was fun,Copy !req
109. and it is okay if you didn't see it
that way.Copy !req
110. Buddy, it's not like I don't have
someplace to go.Copy !req
111. I'll go back to the model home.Copy !req
112. They don't have Internet there,
so I'll just put the law school on pause.Copy !req
113. It's not the first time I've done that.Copy !req
114. Last time I did that, you were born.Copy !req
115. Screw it. Maybe I'll just go
to the real Phoenix and finish school.Copy !req
116. They got one in Costa Mesa.
Plus they want me for an article.Copy !req
117. Media wants to talk to Daddy
about the real-estate business.Copy !req
118. Once they do that,
I'm gonna be right back on top.Copy !req
119. This is your school rally shirt.Copy !req
120. Same size, medium.
Do you know where mine is?Copy !req
121. We wear the same size, like twin...Copy !req
122. We're just like twins,
couple of identical—Copy !req
123. Dad, no, I...Copy !req
124. Look, I was not talking about privacy
from you per se.Copy !req
125. I was talking about... my software.Copy !req
126. What's that?Copy !req
127. It's privacy software.
That's why the word came up.Copy !req
128. It's not why the word came up,Copy !req
129. but George Michael was writing codeCopy !req
130. for a block software
with his roommateCopy !req
131. that was proving challenging,Copy !req
132. both because of online threats
to his privacyCopy !req
133. and some in-room threats
to his privacy as well.Copy !req
134. Buddy, is that schoolwork?Copy !req
135. We're just in the middle of—Copy !req
136. Good. Give me the lappy.
I'll hit "save" for you.Copy !req
137. I got to Skype with my adviser in Phoenix.Copy !req
138. If I don't get on right now,Copy !req
139. he's gonna have to Skype me
from a TGI Fridays.Copy !req
140. Yeah.Copy !req
141. 'Cause that hurt for a second.
I was like, "He wants me to go."Copy !req
142. - God, no.
No.Copy !req
143. - No.
- Software.Copy !req
144. No, I mean, yeah, I may need some privacy
to work on it and that might mean...Copy !req
145. you going.Copy !req
146. You mean here. Yeah, clearing out.Copy !req
147. An hour here, there. Yes?
Got it. Not a problem.Copy !req
148. You give me a little fair warning,
I clear right out of here.Copy !req
149. Let's schedule it now.Copy !req
150. I need help with the calendar, though.
It's, like, stuck on 2003.Copy !req
151. - Help me break into—
- You just hit "Today."Copy !req
152. - The "Today" button.
- It's stuck in 2003,Copy !req
153. so I don't have "Today."
I need to jump forward.Copy !req
154. George Michael was trying to get used
to living with his father...Copy !req
155. Anyway, I'm just gonna run downstairs
and grab a bite.Copy !req
156. I want to go.Copy !req
157. Let me go. I'll go. I'm hungry. Come on.Copy !req
158. as Buster dealt with losing his motherCopy !req
159. after missing her trial at which
she received a prison sentenceCopy !req
160. of three to five years.Copy !req
161. Good luck with your night terrors.Copy !req
162. Now no one will be there
to hear your screams!Copy !req
163. Although spending some moneyCopy !req
164. would make Lucille's hard time
a little softer...Copy !req
165. Hello! Oh, Mrs. Bluth is here,
for stealing the Queen Mary.Copy !req
166. as it made her eligible for one
of the so-called country club prisonsCopy !req
167. that had become popular
after the Enron debacle.Copy !req
168. You want to go here,Copy !req
169. so you're gonna take this hallway
to the elevators, then you want to—Copy !req
170. Slow down. You sound like the end
of a Cymbalta commercial.Copy !req
171. Even the lifers get confused.Copy !req
172. But even though it was a nice prison,
it was still prison.Copy !req
173. choice of fresh scent, sport,
or floral for your delousing.Copy !req
174. Also, if you're sexually assaulted
by a guard,Copy !req
175. press "seven" on your phone.Copy !req
176. If you go through the front desk,
it'll take forever.Copy !req
177. But in her absence, Buster couldn't bear
the thought of living alone.Copy !req
178. My mother's gone away and I thought
you've always been like a...Copy !req
179. - Girlfriend.
- Not what I was gonna say!Copy !req
180. Anyways, I was over there
and my friend's over hereCopy !req
181. and I thought,
"Maybe I should just move in,"Copy !req
182. because I love to hear
all about your medicationsCopy !req
183. and ailments and whatnot.Copy !req
184. Is that baby toe of yours still crawling
over the others like a weird weed?Copy !req
185. Buster, how sweet of you to remember.Copy !req
186. It's one of my night terrors.Copy !req
187. But listen, Buster,
before I invite you into my arms,Copy !req
188. my bedroom,
my bathtub with the railing,Copy !req
189. I have to ask you something.Copy !req
190. Are you ready to let go of your mother?Copy !req
191. Buster thought he was,
although there was one ominous sign.Copy !req
192. I am ready for that, Lucille.Copy !req
193. Did you hear it?Copy !req
194. Wait. Did you just drop the "Two"
after my name?Copy !req
195. I hope not.Copy !req
196. That would be creepy.Copy !req
197. It was.Copy !req
198. Buster wasn't the only Bluth who was ready
to make a real commitment.Copy !req
199. Runaway groom Gob Bluth was ready, too,
beginning with an amends...Copy !req
200. You humiliated me.Copy !req
201. You made a mockery of my religion
and you ruined our wedding.Copy !req
202. by performing an escape actCopy !req
203. that resulted in him trapped
in a storage unit for weeksCopy !req
204. where he had something of an epiphany.Copy !req
205. If you don't open up
and let someone else in,Copy !req
206. the treasures you have inside
will never come outCopy !req
207. and you'll never be happy.Copy !req
208. We have money to start our life together.Copy !req
209. Now we have our nest egg... Ann.Copy !req
210. Now we have our nest, Ann.Copy !req
211. I'm ready to settle.Copy !req
212. Marry me.Copy !req
213. I'm leaving you, Gob
I don't love you anymore.Copy !req
214. I feel sorry for you
and you're gonna be alone foreverCopy !req
215. unless you let the Holy Ghost inside you.Copy !req
216. The Holy...Copy !req
217. You know what? I hope you read this.Copy !req
218. Maybe it was the fact
that he had nothing in his systemCopy !req
219. but two weeks of candy vines,Copy !req
220. but it did get through to him.Copy !req
221. Steve! It's me.Copy !req
222. I wanted to let you know
that I'm ready to...Copy !req
223. let the son of Gob enfold me.Copy !req
224. Obviously it's me, your fa—Copy !req
225. And as Gob reached out to a son
he could have been closer to,Copy !req
226. Michael held on to the one
he couldn't have.Copy !req
227. Gettable, right?Copy !req
228. Tell me about the software thing. This is
the Faceblock thing you were working on?Copy !req
229. Is it like Facebook?Copy !req
230. No, it's kind of the opposite
of Facebook, you know.Copy !req
231. Facebook connects you with everyone
and this blocks you from everyone.Copy !req
232. Kind of like The Anti-Social Network,
right?Copy !req
233. - That's very good.
- You can use it.Copy !req
234. I don't understand the Internet stuff.Copy !req
235. You give me all the parts and you tell me
to build a television set,Copy !req
236. I can bang that out, but I can't get
the right day to display on my calendar.Copy !req
237. Just press "Today."Copy !req
238. I just tried that.
Doesn't work on mine.Copy !req
239. But Michael had big plans
to salvage his own career.Copy !req
240. because once they come out
with that article on meCopy !req
241. in that in-flight magazine,
the family's gonna be right back on top.Copy !req
242. The guy's doing a whole spread on me.
- Yeah.Copy !req
243. It's called Altitude.
It's for OutWest Airlines.Copy !req
244. Next to SkyMall,
the number two most read in all of coach.Copy !req
245. Well, three with the safety card,Copy !req
246. but get a lot of attention
for Sudden Valley.Copy !req
247. And then with your Internet company,
we're gonna have two businesses.Copy !req
248. You know?
And yours sounds like such a natural.Copy !req
249. No one likes to share their identity.Copy !req
250. - Right.
- Give me your meal plan card.Copy !req
251. I'm gonna run in there, grab a tray,Copy !req
252. you run around back,
make sure you get there in timeCopy !req
253. before my hand stamp dries, okay?
Here we go.Copy !req
254. And as George Michael contemplated
how to get distance from a parent...Copy !req
255. Buster worked on getting closer to one.Copy !req
256. Buster Bluth and pie
for his... Lucille Bluth.Copy !req
257. Every day, he visited her.Copy !req
258. And every day, she refused to see him.Copy !req
259. No.Copy !req
260. - She doesn't want to see you.
- Excellent.Copy !req
261. She wouldn't forgive him
for missing her trial.Copy !req
262. And they had grown too far apart.Copy !req
263. But you don't win three Motherboy Awards
without persistence.Copy !req
264. And a flair for costuming.Copy !req
265. Alex Trebek?Copy !req
266. She then rephrased it
in the form of a question.Copy !req
267. Who is Alex Trebek?Copy !req
268. Buster. No, Buster.Copy !req
269. But the answer was always no.Copy !req
270. Do you have a pie
or a small sponge cake available?Copy !req
271. Here you go.Copy !req
272. While Buster cried in his pie,Copy !req
273. Michael was flying high
about his in-flight magazine piece.Copy !req
274. You are kidding me! They're gonna be
in seat backs today? That is great news.Copy !req
275. It would get him out of living
in his son's dorm.Copy !req
276. I'm putting up a wall.Copy !req
277. We need to rework
our whole system here.Copy !req
278. Sounds like you're working
on your privacy software.Copy !req
279. - Trang's grandfather.Copy !req
280. Boy, shoot me if I'm 86,
living in my grandson's dorm!Copy !req
281. Pal, good news.Copy !req
282. The article they did on me
in Altitude magazine comes out today.Copy !req
283. Can I see it?Copy !req
284. Probably doesn't have it. Try finding
a flight at this time of the year.Copy !req
285. Ever even been on a plane,
you piece of?Copy !req
286. So can I see it?Copy !req
287. It is not in the terrestrial news stands
just yet.Copy !req
288. Guess what, though?
You, my friend, are in the article.Copy !req
289. - You're in it.Copy !req
290. I mentioned that I'm living in your dorm.Copy !req
291. I thought it might help
with your popularity problem.Copy !req
292. Well, I'm gonna get going
while the room is empty.Copy !req
293. Great. See you later.Copy !req
294. Boy, that's got to drive you crazy.Copy !req
295. The reason you came to the computer lab
was for privacy.Copy !req
296. No wonder you can't get a real girl
up there.Copy !req
297. Michael was referring to something
he'd walked in on a few days earlier.Copy !req
298. P-Hound!Copy !req
299. There's a girl in there.Copy !req
300. There is?Copy !req
301. Where the hell is George Michael?Copy !req
302. - Excuse me. Hello.
- Dad!Copy !req
303. - Hi.
- Yeah, there's nobody in here.Copy !req
304. Buddy, bad news.
P-Hound is yanking our chain again.Copy !req
305. - Uncle Michael.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
306. - Hi.
- Hello there.Copy !req
307. There is a kind of girl here.
Didn't say it was your cousin.Copy !req
308. - Hey.
- He doesn't know.Copy !req
309. Now, that's smart.
Let him think there's a girl in here.Copy !req
310. Actually, we've been talking
about how crowded that room isCopy !req
311. and P-Hound was suggesting
that maybe we do a voteCopy !req
312. to see who stays in the dorm room.Copy !req
313. He suggested thatCopy !req
314. The thing is that the room
is only sanctioned for two.Copy !req
315. Right, and we have a vote.
He's gone in two seconds.Copy !req
316. Two against one, right?Copy !req
317. - Well, actually—
- We got to do it.Copy !req
318. The thing is that it kind of puts me
in an awkward position.Copy !req
319. - Hi.
- Hey.Copy !req
320. Since there's only three people voting,Copy !req
321. everyone's gonna know
who voted against who.Copy !req
322. What about if your "girlfriend" wants
to move in?Copy !req
323. That way, she gets a vote.Copy !req
324. I'm just here for tutoring.Copy !req
325. Not my girlfriend. She's my cousin.Copy !req
326. - I'm not attracted to him.Copy !req
327. P-Hound doesn't know any of that stuff.Copy !req
328. Okay? He'll just think that her vote's
the vote that got him out.Copy !req
329. Wouldn't my girlfriend want
to get rid of my father?Copy !req
330. - I'm not your girlfriend.
- But he doesn't know that.Copy !req
331. Someone's got to vote for me,
otherwise, it's suspicious.Copy !req
332. We don't want a palace coup, right?Copy !req
333. Well, I'll vote you out.Copy !req
334. - Yeah, I will.
- I wouldn't make you do that.Copy !req
335. Then I fall down the stairs and you feel
bad about yourself your whole life.Copy !req
336. And perhaps it was the chairCopy !req
337. that fooled Michael into thinking
his next idea was a good one.Copy !req
338. What if I vote myself out?Copy !req
339. You'd do that?Copy !req
340. How would that help?Copy !req
341. It's simple algebra.Copy !req
342. You two vote against P-Hound,
nobody knows who did whatCopy !req
343. because there's a vote against me in thereCopy !req
344. and it's, "Adiós, brothiero."
It cannot fail.Copy !req
345. Michael was pleased with his plan.Copy !req
346. Won't that make it a tie?Copy !req
347. Briefly.Copy !req
348. I mean,
if the two of us vote against P-HoundCopy !req
349. and you and P-Hound
vote against you,Copy !req
350. then it's two against two, right?Copy !req
351. Wow, you think that he'd vote against me?
I mean...Copy !req
352. All right, new plan.Copy !req
353. The details of the plan continued
to develop through lunch.Copy !req
354. So we got two scenarios.Copy !req
355. It's either two votes against P-Hound,Copy !req
356. one vote against Maeby, one against me,
with that vote being my own,Copy !req
357. or if it's two votes against me,
then clearly P-Hound is being nasty.Copy !req
358. That triggers a recount,
then it's a P-Hound blitz.Copy !req
359. We all vote against P-Hound, he's gone.Copy !req
360. - What if whoever loses...Copy !req
361. refuses to go?Copy !req
362. You think PCopy !req
363. Okay, new plan.Copy !req
364. And so the planning continuedCopy !req
365. through what should have been
Organic Chemistry.Copy !req
366. We all pack ahead of time,
really pack a bag,Copy !req
367. so it doesn't look rigged.Copy !req
368. And then the loser, straight out the door.
I mean, that's the deal.Copy !req
369. That's the cost of having a vote,
that's the price of freedom.Copy !req
370. Maybe it's better if we're all just direct
with each other, you know?Copy !req
371. Just say what's on our minds.Copy !req
372. Yeah, I think it's gonna come out anyway.Copy !req
373. Dad, you know,
I've really loved living with you—Copy !req
374. No talking.Copy !req
375. No talking once the votes come in. You're
out the door. That's the missing piece.Copy !req
376. That's it. This plan is foolproof.Copy !req
377. I've cherished this, too, pal.Copy !req
378. Yeah. I mean, how many fathers get to go
to college with their kid?Copy !req
379. While Buster's days were spent trying
to get his mother to love him,Copy !req
380. his nights were consumed
with getting his lover to mother him.Copy !req
381. Just in time. I hope you are in the mood
for a hot tomato.Copy !req
382. Soup? With little grilled
cheese sandwiches on the side?Copy !req
383. Buster, that was innuendo.Copy !req
384. My Lord, it's like we're speaking
different languages here.Copy !req
385. No, it's not. It is working.Copy !req
386. I'm getting hungry.Copy !req
387. For love?Copy !req
388. No. Is this another one of those nights
where nothing is as it seemsCopy !req
389. and there's no cream pie for dessert?Copy !req
390. Holy Toledo, Buster, sometimes I think
I'm nothing but a Horn & Hardart to you.Copy !req
391. What happened to innuendo?
Let's do it quick.Copy !req
392. It's an old restaurant.Copy !req
393. A restaurant? I don't care if it's old.
Look who I'm dating!Copy !req
394. Let's go there now.Copy !req
395. Buster, you can either be a son
or a lover.Copy !req
396. And right now,
you're no good to me as a lover.Copy !req
397. Maybe you're right.Copy !req
398. Maybe this has been wrong from the start.Copy !req
399. So, Mom...Copy !req
400. Out!Copy !req
401. Buster was being kicked out
which was the same fateCopy !req
402. that Michael had in mind
for his son's other roommate, P-Hound.Copy !req
403. And he prepared to put his scheme to work.Copy !req
404. He read his own vote first.Copy !req
405. First vote to remove...Copy !req
406. Michael.Copy !req
407. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
408. Second vote to remove...Copy !req
409. Michael.Copy !req
410. Michael expected this,
but didn't expect the sting.Copy !req
411. Obviously, if there's a tie,
there's an immediate runoff.Copy !req
412. Third vote to remove...Copy !req
413. Michael.Copy !req
414. Did you mean to write "George Michael"?Copy !req
415. Obviously, the verdict was in.Copy !req
416. And it's hard to know exactly
why Michael opened the fourth ballot.Copy !req
417. Was it out of hope or confusion?Copy !req
418. Either way, it couldn't be
what he wanted to read.Copy !req
419. Michael did the only thing
he could think of that would save face.Copy !req
420. On the next Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences...Copy !req
421. If tomorrow, you don't open up
and let someone else in,Copy !req
422. then the treasures you have insideCopy !req
423. may never come out.Copy !req
424. This is my Motherboy Four medal.Copy !req
425. With nowhere to live,
Buster tries to raise some money...Copy !req
426. What'll you give me?Copy !req
427. only to discover he's not
the first Motherboy to hit hard times.Copy !req
428. What will you give me for these?Copy !req
429. All-time low.Copy !req
430. And he gets a bit of inspiration.Copy !req
431. She certainly seems proud of her son.Copy !req
432. So Buster returns to the only other mother
he had ever known.Copy !req