1. On the day of Lucille's trial
for her various crimes at sea,Copy !req
2. and in the crab restaurant that served
as the maritime court room...Copy !req
3. The defense calls to the oyster bar thing
where they sit:Copy !req
4. the adopted daughter, Lindsay Bluth.Copy !req
5. Lucille was questioning the wisdomCopy !req
6. of threatening to withhold payment
for her daughter's testimony.Copy !req
7. Have you seen Lindsay Bluth?Copy !req
8. It was a threat that affected
Lindsay's husband Tobias as well,Copy !req
9. as they had just purchased
a family home...Copy !req
10. What's thisCopy !req
11. they could neither afford...Copy !req
12. She said she'd only pay me
if my testimony is believable, but—Copy !req
13. Lindsay!Copy !req
14. nor find each other in.Copy !req
15. How am I supposed to say something
like, "I love you, Mother,"Copy !req
16. and sound believable?Copy !req
17. Oh, Jesus...Copy !req
18. Jesus C. Penney!Copy !req
19. You know, I wish I had the luxury
of not sounding believable,Copy !req
20. but that's not an option
for an outCopy !req
21. Or it's why you're out of work!Copy !req
22. Well, I beg one's pardon, but I have been
dying to go to that method acting clinicCopy !req
23. that I see on my nightly drives,
but you won't let me.Copy !req
24. Because you already wasted all that money
on Carl Weathers' Master Acting Class.Copy !req
25. Well, I'm sorry,
but I'm such a starvingCopy !req
26. that I didn't pay attention
to anything he said.Copy !req
27. Oh, well then, maybe I should go
to your method acting classCopy !req
28. to make my testimony more believable.Copy !req
29. That's actually a good idea.
Maybe you could— Oh.Copy !req
30. Yes.Copy !req
31. Well, perhaps we should go together.Copy !req
32. Yeah, it might be good for us as a couple.Copy !req
33. I do hope so.Copy !req
34. I really want to make this work.Copy !req
35. Me, too.Copy !req
36. I really love you, Tobias.Copy !req
37. Oh, Lindsay, we have got to get you
to that acting clinic.Copy !req
38. That was with me picturing fudge.Copy !req
39. Fudge.Copy !req
40. Now the story of what happenedCopy !req
41. when the one man
who was holding his family togetherCopy !req
42. finally let goCopy !req
43. and the separate journeys
that eventually gave them no choiceCopy !req
44. but to come back together.Copy !req
45. It's Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences.Copy !req
46. To bond with her husband
and prepare for her testimony,Copy !req
47. Lindsay had decided to attend
an acting class with Tobias.Copy !req
48. This is the first time
I've done something like this with you.Copy !req
49. I think I always looked down on it.Copy !req
50. Lindsay, I think you'll find that some
of what used to seem clueless about meCopy !req
51. is actually something I'm quite good at.Copy !req
52. This... is where I belong.Copy !req
53. If you're new here,
you need to go to the window.Copy !req
54. Fill out this form first.Copy !req
55. There's some personal questions on it
like how you first got hooked.Copy !req
56. That's an easy one.
You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.Copy !req
57. No, Mame.Copy !req
58. No, ma'am? You're a Good Ma'am...
You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.Copy !req
59. - Gypsy.
- You come up hereCopy !req
60. and be as truthful as possible.Copy !req
61. They're starting the monologues.
I think this is from Songs for my Father.Copy !req
62. What did you say the name
of this acting class was again?Copy !req
63. Method One Clinic.Copy !req
64. Okay, I'm gonna go get a coffee.Copy !req
65. Garden Grove Method One Clinic.Copy !req
66. And that's when Tobias became entrancedCopy !req
67. by what he first thought was
a Carol Channing impersonator...Copy !req
68. I made it in that movie,
The Fantastic Four.Copy !req
69. but soon recognized to be an actress
with a brief movie career.Copy !req
70. It was fantastic for me.Copy !req
71. I got carried away and I'm like,
"This is up.Copy !req
72. And I'm gonna get my together
or I'm gonna be up, too."Copy !req
73. Anyways, now I'm sober and I'm trying...Copy !req
74. super-hard.Copy !req
75. It was a devastating and personal story.Copy !req
76. Okay, notes.Copy !req
77. First of all,
it seemed you were slurring a bit there.Copy !req
78. I just think you'd have so much more fun
punching those words. Get it out there.Copy !req
79. "This is up, sir!"Copy !req
80. I'm sorry.
I'm not familiar with the piece, so...Copy !req
81. No, that's it.Copy !req
82. But I am familiar with your work
in The Fantastic Four, however.Copy !req
83. - Of course.Copy !req
84. Twenty years earlier,
DeBrie Bardeaux had played Sue StormCopy !req
85. in the low-budget version
of The Fantastic Four,Copy !req
86. produced by Imagine Entertainment.Copy !req
87. I almost never get recognized
as the Invisible Girl.Copy !req
88. I can't believe you saw me.Copy !req
89. Well, I thought it was "fantastic...Copy !req
90. for" a threadbare production
of Fantastic Four.Copy !req
91. Actually, most of the performance
that had so captivated TobiasCopy !req
92. was performed by a bare thread.Copy !req
93. This is the gayest Starbucks ever!Copy !req
94. Did his fishing line break, too?Copy !req
95. Well, my acting career is over.Copy !req
96. Don't say that. You've got to say,
"Keep the dream alive!"Copy !req
97. That's what helps me.Copy !req
98. This is what's helping me.Copy !req
99. It's really good.Copy !req
100. Here is to our acting addiction.Copy !req
101. - Yep.
- May we never be cured.Copy !req
102. Are you crying?Copy !req
103. I'm crying. Oh, it's a nosebleed.Copy !req
104. Thank you so much.Copy !req
105. Tobias had found a friend.Copy !req
106. - You're neat!
- You're neat.Copy !req
107. - You're neat.
- You're neat.Copy !req
108. Lindsay had just discoveredCopy !req
109. that the Garden Grove Method One Clinic
for ActingCopy !req
110. was actually the Garden Grove
Methadone Clinic for Methadone.Copy !req
111. And she was reflecting on the shaman...Copy !req
112. You are living a life without loveCopy !req
113. because you only care about appearances.Copy !req
114. who had inspired her return
to her husband.Copy !req
115. Love is where you left it.Copy !req
116. The only person back home is Tobias.Copy !req
117. And was wondering if there was any wisdom
in this at all...Copy !req
118. It's not free trade
and if it's not free trade, it's.Copy !req
119. when she noticed a man. You don't look like a junkie.Copy !req
120. You do. What do you weigh?
Like 90 pounds?Copy !req
121. That's so funny.Copy !req
122. God, thank you, but no.Copy !req
123. If I'm addicted to anything, it's alcohol.Copy !req
124. I'm Lindsay. And you're...Copy !req
125. Biteme.Copy !req
126. I don't like giving my name
to any state organizations,Copy !req
127. especially after I got kicked off
the voter rolls.Copy !req
128. I accidentally signed up
for the wrong political group.Copy !req
129. What group was that?Copy !req
130. I don't even remember.Copy !req
131. Just some guy in a booth on the boardwalk.Copy !req
132. He joined al-Qaeda.Copy !req
133. I only signed up because
he was giving away a free beard brush.Copy !req
134. That says "al-Qaeda" on it.Copy !req
135. But maybe he thought it was
the designer of the brush.Copy !req
136. I'm Marky Bark.Copy !req
137. Of the treeCopy !req
138. Marky was the son of Johnny Bark,Copy !req
139. an activist
that Lindsay had once helped saveCopy !req
140. and then kill a tree.Copy !req
141. I remember thinking one day
he was just gonna fall out of a treeCopy !req
142. and break his neck.Copy !req
143. Whatever happened to him?Copy !req
144. He fell out of a tree and broke his neck.Copy !req
145. So are you here alone?Copy !req
146. No, I'm with her.Copy !req
147. Listen, the only time DeBrie can keep
food down is for about 20 minutesCopy !req
148. after she comes crashing off
the methadone.Copy !req
149. Would you care to join us as we rustle up
some grub to shove down our mouths?Copy !req
150. I would like that very much.Copy !req
151. It just so happens we're free today.Copy !req
152. I'm not due in court
until, like, eight bells.Copy !req
153. The two couples headed off for lunchCopy !req
154. despite the fact
that the maritime clock has eight bellsCopy !req
155. at twelve o'clock in the forenoonCopy !req
156. which was when Lucille discoveredCopy !req
157. that Lindsay wasn't the only Bluth
who didn't show up for her trial.Copy !req
158. Gob's excuse was equally compelling.Copy !req
159. Gob had been involved
in an escape act gone wrongCopy !req
160. and wound up in a storage unit in Tustin.Copy !req
161. And on the day of the trial,
he awoke in a hospital,Copy !req
162. happy to finally see a familiar shape.Copy !req
163. You humiliated me.Copy !req
164. You made a mockery of my religion
and you ruined our wedding.Copy !req
165. Our first fight.Copy !req
166. And like all fights, you're
a little right, I'm a little right.Copy !req
167. I sold your cave on Craigslist.Copy !req
168. So it was all worth it.Copy !req
169. She unknowingly sold the cave
to another BluthCopy !req
170. who missed the trial...Copy !req
171. Okay, look up "large mud huts,
can fit 20..."Copy !req
172. while purchasing a larger sweat lodge
for the desert sweat 'n' squeezeCopy !req
173. he was in the process of building.Copy !req
174. Ship it.Copy !req
175. But it was Lucille's son BusterCopy !req
176. upon whom Lucille most relied
as her star witness,Copy !req
177. as it was his testimony
that was to save Lucille's skinCopy !req
178. from charges of stealing the Queen Mary.Copy !req
179. Homosexuals kidnapped the boat
and took it on a joyride,Copy !req
180. then she realized
that her son fell off the boatCopy !req
181. and into the water and she went back.Copy !req
182. And a fish swam by my ankle.Copy !req
183. - That really happened.
- And he'll be wearing his army uniform,Copy !req
184. so I can pretend I'm proud of him again.Copy !req
185. I can't find my army uniform.Copy !req
186. I thought the jury might like it
if I show up as John John Kennedy.Copy !req
187. Oh, yeah, that went over great last time.Copy !req
188. And it was offensive. Half your testicle
was hanging out of that thing.Copy !req
189. Good!Copy !req
190. I'm glad they saw it.Copy !req
191. It was like a Motherboy ball, right?Copy !req
192. Put on your new uniformCopy !req
193. with long pants and keep your ball joke
to yourself, Andrew Dice Clay.Copy !req
194. But tensions had mounted.Copy !req
195. So you could see why I need the testimony
of someone who's not a hot mess.Copy !req
196. - You're a hot mess!
- You're a hot mess!Copy !req
197. And another mother-son spat...Copy !req
198. I'm going to the park!Copy !req
199. sent Buster
to the fruit-laden arms...Copy !req
200. I'm juicing now.
Would you like to join me?Copy !req
201. of Lucille's best frenemy,
Lucille Two...Copy !req
202. I forgot. Your mother wouldn't allow it.Copy !req
203. who knew what buttons to push.Copy !req
204. Let's get juiced.Copy !req
205. So there were no Bluths at all
to testify on Lucille's behalf.Copy !req
206. Any witness?Copy !req
207. Please tell me you're working
on a strategy for us.Copy !req
208. It's us now.
Well, we have Lucille Austero.Copy !req
209. She's the only one who showed.
I don't think that is good for us.Copy !req
210. Nonsense. She owns the company now.
She's got as much to lose as I do.Copy !req
211. And she's a dear friend.Copy !req
212. I'll do it myself, though.
I need this to go well.Copy !req
213. And so it was Lucille who did
the questioning of her new star witness,Copy !req
214. although she was clearly green
at screening witnesses.Copy !req
215. Thank you for coming to be my witness.Copy !req
216. You're such a large shareholder...Copy !req
217. I've made a pun!Copy !req
218. How could I not do it
for my oldest friend?Copy !req
219. Now I've gone and done a double. A double like your pre-surgery chin.Copy !req
220. Or your post-breakfast drink.Copy !req
221. I wish you'd come to my rehab clinic.Copy !req
222. But anything to help
that Keystone Cop family of yours.Copy !req
223. Keystone Cops?Copy !req
224. Your references are as fresh
as the wallpaperCopy !req
225. in the room of that pretend child
you've had all these years.Copy !req
226. - But my friend—
- I shouldn't joke.Copy !req
227. None of your family showed up,
you poor thing.Copy !req
228. This is such a black mark on all of you.Copy !req
229. You should know about black marks.Copy !req
230. Your pillow must look
like a Rorschach test.Copy !req
231. Not that there'd be anyone to see it.Copy !req
232. So as I was saying...Copy !req
233. But unfortunately,
their 30-year passive-aggressive danceCopy !req
234. was losing some of its passive.Copy !req
235. As if everybody in this room couldn't tellCopy !req
236. how jealous and conniving you are,
my dear Lucille Austero.Copy !req
237. What I knew was that you were stealing
for years. We all did.Copy !req
238. That's why nobody was surprised
when you stole that boat.Copy !req
239. And I knew you couldn't wait to get
your liver-spotted claws into my company.Copy !req
240. Says the woman whose liver can be spotted
from outer space.Copy !req
241. - No further questions!
- No further answers!Copy !req
242. Am I done?Copy !req
243. That's got to be our treasure chest.Copy !req
244. You think it went well?Copy !req
245. I do.Copy !req
246. Tobias and Lindsay drove to meet
their new friends for lunch.Copy !req
247. They are such a neat couple.Copy !req
248. Are they neat? It's so fun to have
another couple to go out with.Copy !req
249. He's amazing.
He's so passionate about real issues.Copy !req
250. He's a real activist, like me.Copy !req
251. And she's a real actress, like me.Copy !req
252. She used to be in big movies,Copy !req
253. but then, like a lot of actors,
the teeth go.Copy !req
254. But she is the perfect age
to be a Hollywood actress.Copy !req
255. 42.Copy !req
256. Is that all?Copy !req
257. Oh, I think this is the place.
It's a barter restaurant.Copy !req
258. Marky doesn't believe in money.Copy !req
259. - No, it means they don't deal with money.Copy !req
260. That's why I swiped that methadone tray.Copy !req
261. What interesting friends we've made!Copy !req
262. I think this is
exactly what our marriage needed.Copy !req
263. Buster wasn't feeling so good
as he awoke hours later than he intended.Copy !req
264. Well, that was a freebie.Copy !req
265. Mother's trial!Copy !req
266. Key witness coming through.Copy !req
267. I'm a key...Copy !req
268. Play that song in the drizzling rain.Copy !req
269. Play that song in the drizzling rain.Copy !req
270. And Lindsay and Tobias joined
their new friends at C.W. Swappigan's,Copy !req
271. a chain that had sprung up
after the economic collapse.Copy !req
272. We are like a Salvation Army meets
a soup kitchen, meets a gastro pub,Copy !req
273. meets a Marxist
or Leninist type social structure.Copy !req
274. These are things that you can order
and these are things that we will accept.Copy !req
275. As you see on the bottom,
we don't have the fishCopy !req
276. and we're not taking any more lava lamps.Copy !req
277. I can see this one's got
that deer-in-the-headlights look.Copy !req
278. Oh, no, he just took some methadone.Copy !req
279. He thought he was driving
with a cocktail tray.Copy !req
280. Speaking of that, how about
mozzarella sticks for the table?Copy !req
281. Cocktail tray, light scratching,
for mozzarella sticks!Copy !req
282. Six, no sauce.Copy !req
283. And maybe some sparkling water
for the table.Copy !req
284. I'm sorry, sir.
We're no longer taking hotel soaps.Copy !req
285. This is fun.Copy !req
286. It's just so refreshing to meet peopleCopy !req
287. with real passion about changing
the status quo.Copy !req
288. Lindsay and I don't have a single friend.Copy !req
289. Is the food here yet?Copy !req
290. I'm not hungry, but...Copy !req
291. No cheese!Copy !req
292. - Look, it's butter!
- DeBrie...Copy !req
293. That's our butter.
We were gonna swap it for dessert.Copy !req
294. But Tobias interpreted this
as method one acting.Copy !req
295. No, she's improvising.Copy !req
296. Yes, ma'am. You seem to be liking
that butter substitute at Swappigan's.Copy !req
297. Yes, and what else could you swap for?Copy !req
298. Yes, and...Copy !req
299. Oh, God.Copy !req
300. Oh, I'm out. She's too good.Copy !req
301. I don't know who my guy is.
I don't have a guy.Copy !req
302. No, she just likes butter.
Let's get you cleaned up.Copy !req
303. Marky, I'll take her.
You two just got here.Copy !req
304. Have a chat about. I'll clean her up.Copy !req
305. - I'm sorry.
- Don't be.Copy !req
306. I love it here.Copy !req
307. My mother would hate this place.Copy !req
308. Lindsay, I have to tell you,
when I first met you,Copy !req
309. I thought you were one
of those typical, uptight,Copy !req
310. snobby, Newport Beach, vapidCopy !req
311. nut-busters!Copy !req
312. One of those monsters that lives
in a 10,000 square-foot houseCopy !req
313. that they destroyed the wetlands for.Copy !req
314. Those were wetlands?Copy !req
315. That explains our Thanksgiving miracle.Copy !req
316. What do you mean, you didn't make dinner?Copy !req
317. I didn't realize it was Thursday.
There's got to be something here.Copy !req
318. Get it!Copy !req
319. Chase it into the oven!Copy !req
320. Here, little ducky.Copy !req
321. - That's a good duck.
- Good duck.Copy !req
322. In you go.Copy !req
323. This is going to be
the greatest Thanksgiving ever.Copy !req
324. I actually do live in a fairly large house
right now.Copy !req
325. But we've never made a payment on it.Copy !req
326. So you're sticking it to big banking?Copy !req
327. Yes.Copy !req
328. In fact, I'm only in America
because a shaman told meCopy !req
329. that love would come to me when I accepted
who I am and didn't run away.Copy !req
330. Sounds like a good shaman.Copy !req
331. He was the house shaman
at The Four Seasons, Mumbai,Copy !req
332. so you figure he's got to be pretty good.Copy !req
333. And he turned into an ostrich at the end.Copy !req
334. They're not gonna have that
at the Embassy Suites.Copy !req
335. That's funny.
I actually run an ostrich farm.Copy !req
336. That's not a coincidence.Copy !req
337. Marky, I've got to tell you,
talking about these social issues,Copy !req
338. it's the first time I've felt like myselfCopy !req
339. in a really long time.Copy !req
340. That's because I say what I mean,
I do what I feel. No lies.Copy !req
341. Lindsay felt guilty
because she had lied to her motherCopy !req
342. in her promise to testify at a trial
she now knew she'd miss.Copy !req
343. That's why my motto is,
"Live truthfully and skate through life."Copy !req
344. Marky felt guilty
because truthfully, it wasn't his motto.Copy !req
345. It was the motto
of a surf and skateboard company.Copy !req
346. Live truthfully. Skate through life.Copy !req
347. That's amazing.Copy !req
348. I haven't felt this deep a connection
with someone in a long, long time.Copy !req
349. Other than DeBrie.Copy !req
350. I can't believe we just did that.Copy !req
351. I can't believe how little give
your teeth have.Copy !req
352. So where do you keep your ostriches?Copy !req
353. And that's when Lindsay ran off
for a try at a new life.Copy !req
354. And Lucille waited after being tried
for her old one.Copy !req
355. - Well, our cashier's pregnant.Copy !req
356. And she's not married.Copy !req
357. I mean about me.Copy !req
358. Oh, you're guilty. Three to five.Copy !req
359. Lindsay ran off to a life
she felt was her destinyCopy !req
360. and the new lovers discovered each other,Copy !req
361. the beautiful female body,
the horrible male.Copy !req
362. Wow, that was so... fast.Copy !req
363. Thanks, but I didn't know how long
we'd be stuck in traffic, so...Copy !req
364. And it sounds like it's moving.Copy !req
365. Move it!Copy !req
366. - Come on! Let's go!
- Careful!Copy !req
367. And as they drove, they learned
so much about each other.Copy !req
368. I was always just in such a rush
to grow up and change this world.Copy !req
369. Foolishly, the teeth I pulled
were my adult teeth.Copy !req
370. I mean, they're just chewing tools.
I don't care about looks.Copy !req
371. But you find me pretty though, right?Copy !req
372. No. I have no idea what you look like.Copy !req
373. I have this condition
called face blindness.Copy !req
374. I mean, I can tell you're a woman.Copy !req
375. Oh, stop!Copy !req
376. But honestly, no,
all I see is, like, eyes and nose,Copy !req
377. you know, hair, ears and...Copy !req
378. You know, my shaman told me
I should stop caring about appearances.Copy !req
379. You know, my whole life,
that's all anyone has ever praised,Copy !req
380. all my mom ever cared about.Copy !req
381. Because I'm really pretty.Copy !req
382. I just thought I'd tell you that
so the story made sense.Copy !req
383. I don't care.Copy !req
384. But I guess it's kind of karma
that I ended up with someone who wanted to make love to me
no matter what I look like.Copy !req
385. I also wanted to make sure
you weren't a dude.Copy !req
386. I can tell with voices usually,Copy !req
387. but some guys, they'll fool you
if that's what they want to do.Copy !req
388. Hey.Copy !req
389. Are you smiling at me?Copy !req
390. Buster wasn't smiling eitherCopy !req
391. when he finally made it
to the food courthouse.Copy !req
392. - No, the crab fest just started.Copy !req
393. Oh, ma'am, is there a verdictCopy !req
394. in the "my mother stole
the Queen Mary" thing?Copy !req
395. It's all up on the dailies board.Copy !req
396. The fish is frozen here. It's frozen! Do you really want to spend $30
on frozen fish?Copy !req
397. Buster! Where were you?
This is all your fault!Copy !req
398. - I was making a bed, two beds—
- Save it!Copy !req
399. I can smell the cran-apple on you
from here.Copy !req
400. When are you coming home?Copy !req
401. I'm serving three to five.Copy !req
402. I hope your juicy blender-bender
was worth it.Copy !req
403. Don't come to visit me
because I won't see you.Copy !req
404. And good luck with your night terrors.Copy !req
405. Now no one will be there
to hear your screams!Copy !req
406. Won't miss it!Copy !req
407. Where do I go?Copy !req
408. What do I doCopy !req
409. Where did you get that pirate hat?Copy !req
410. And as Buster contemplated a new start,Copy !req
411. Lindsay let her husband knowCopy !req
412. that their new start had reached
a newer end.Copy !req
413. I left. I guess you noticed.Copy !req
414. But I'm sorry.
I really do care about you, Tobias.Copy !req
415. But we were trying to save something
that just couldn't be saved.Copy !req
416. And I have to follow my shaman's advice.Copy !req
417. I have to be true to myself for once.Copy !req
418. And Marky,Copy !req
419. he sees me for who I really am.Copy !req
420. - He respects me—
- Come on, lady!Copy !req
421. You want to wrap this up?
My lady needs to call her loser ex. Marky, it's me. It's Lindsay.Copy !req
422. Oh! Thought you were taking a dump?Copy !req
423. I must have scared the
out of that lady in the bathroomCopy !req
424. when I threw the door open
and told her I loved her.Copy !req
425. He loves me? Sorry. I don't love you.Copy !req
426. On the next Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences...Copy !req
427. The new lovers arrive and discover
the joys of their new home.Copy !req
428. Now that time...Copy !req
429. was also very quick.Copy !req
430. Buster returns to the penthouseCopy !req
431. and can't bear to re-live the time
he was thereCopy !req
432. without Lucille before.Copy !req
433. I can't go through another two days
like that.Copy !req
434. And he decides to pursue are-trial
of his own.Copy !req
435. Buster!Copy !req
436. My mother's gone away and I thought
you've always been like a...Copy !req
437. - Girlfriend.
- Not what I was gonna say!Copy !req
438. And Lindsay,
free of her ex and her own mother,Copy !req
439. awakens to a destiny foretold to her
in India...Copy !req
440. Get away from her! Don't mess with her!Copy !req
441. She's none of your business!Copy !req
442. - Thank you.
- I said get away from her, you slut!Copy !req
443. You're scaring the bird!Copy !req
444. only to find out she had a new mother.Copy !req
445. She lives with us now.Copy !req
446. And Mom...Copy !req
447. She tells me she's pretty.Copy !req