1. It was over a hundred degrees
on the border of California and Mexico.Copy !req
2. But that was nothing compared to
the temperatureCopy !req
3. inside George Sr.'s desert sweat lodge...Copy !req
4. So... hot.Copy !req
5. Where he had gathered
a group of CEOs...Copy !req
6. So... hot.Copy !req
7. with the promise
of spiritual enlightenment...Copy !req
8. Anybody hallucinating yet?Copy !req
9. Anybody else hear that iguana speak?Copy !req
10. as a stepping stone
to financial empowerment.Copy !req
11. - Let's kill it.
- Okay.Copy !req
12. They're ready.Copy !req
13. Of course, there were
certain occupational hazards.Copy !req
14. Easy. I'm not a...Copy !req
15. - Kill the iguana.
- I'm not an iguana.Copy !req
16. Kill the iguana.Copy !req
17. - It's part of the process.
- Die, iguana.Copy !req
18. They're ready. They're ready!Copy !req
19. Now the story of what happenedCopy !req
20. when the one man
who was holding his family togetherCopy !req
21. finally let go,Copy !req
22. and the separate journeys that
eventually gave them no choiceCopy !req
23. but to come back together.Copy !req
24. It's Arrested Development:Copy !req
25. Fateful Consequences.Copy !req
26. George Sr. was getting ready
to motivate his gathered CEOsCopy !req
27. after a narrow brush with death
at the hands of a Frito-Lay executive.Copy !req
28. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
29. Now, that was
the most invigorating session yet.Copy !req
30. I feel good. You feel good?Copy !req
31. I got you.Copy !req
32. You know, guys, even I, Father B,
when I first started these sweat lodges,Copy !req
33. I would come out of there thinking,
"Oh, God, I wish I had a lemonade,"Copy !req
34. just like a child. You know, cold water,
some lemons, a little sugar, you know?Copy !req
35. That's what I gave my power to.Copy !req
36. Can we have the teaching pitcher, please,
Heartfire?Copy !req
37. Hey, guys, this is Heartfire.
She is silent, but in that silence...Copy !req
38. there is strength.Copy !req
39. She needs no words
to communicate to you.Copy !req
40. Fraud.Copy !req
41. Boundless power to you too,
Heartfire.Copy !req
42. Hell, I was so weak, you guys,
I was willing to spend $10,000.Copy !req
43. Just a... little... sip...Copy !req
44. of this lemonade.Copy !req
45. But now I can spend two hours
in brutal heatCopy !req
46. with a cup of this cold,
refreshing lemonadeCopy !req
47. - and just pour it in the dirt.
- No!Copy !req
48. Come on, Daniels!
You ran Bear Stearns, for God's sake!Copy !req
49. I was like this.Copy !req
50. Just like this.Copy !req
51. Then I went to the desert to seek answers
and now...Copy !req
52. I have them.Copy !req
53. Actually, George Sr. had
purchased this part of the desertCopy !req
54. as part of a scheme he shared
with his wifeCopy !req
55. on the first day of her house arrest.Copy !req
56. I can get this land for a song.Copy !req
57. Are you listening to me?Copy !req
58. So are those cameras, George.Copy !req
59. We can't use the same cameras
from when he was under house arrest?Copy !req
60. These are from the maritime penal system.Copy !req
61. They make us use the waterproof ones.Copy !req
62. In here.Copy !req
63. And he laid out his plan
to sell the land to the government,Copy !req
64. but Lucille had grander plans.Copy !req
65. Sitwell's wallCopy !req
66. We build the wall.Copy !req
67. We offer to build it for 150 millionCopy !req
68. and we make up the difference
when we sell the land.Copy !req
69. So that one's all set.
Can I put one up there?Copy !req
70. Only if you want to see the sexiest video
you've ever seen. Oh!Copy !req
71. Sorry I gave you the old noodle stab
in there...Copy !req
72. And soon it was decided
that George Sr. should move outCopy !req
73. in order to make their fake divorce
look real.Copy !req
74. This fake divorce has gotta look real.Copy !req
75. After the trial you can move back in.Copy !req
76. It's only a trial separation.Copy !req
77. You think you're going to be okay alone
with Buster?Copy !req
78. It was a reasonable question,Copy !req
79. as Buster had shown
a greater attachment to herCopy !req
80. than many expected during the few days
she had been away.Copy !req
81. This is the same scene I came back to
after Cancun four years ago.Copy !req
82. But once she was back,
they had some nice moments.Copy !req
83. This hot mess...Copy !req
84. Like when they simultaneously
stumbled on a termCopy !req
85. they both secretly recognized...Copy !req
86. "Hot mess."Copy !req
87. Would be useful
in their future disagreements.Copy !req
88. Hot mess.Copy !req
89. "Hot mess."Copy !req
90. If I need a moment to myself,
I'll step out on the balcony.Copy !req
91. Your ankle bracelet's gonna go off.Copy !req
92. So I'll make him stand on the balcony.
He's happiest when he feels useful.Copy !req
93. That's why I'm making him my star witness.Copy !req
94. But soon it was getting harder
for Lucille not to alienate her alibi.Copy !req
95. This toast has hook holes...Copy !req
96. again!Copy !req
97. I told you to get rid of that thing,
it's hideous.Copy !req
98. Plus, what's going to happen
when they swear you in?Copy !req
99. You're gonna rip the Bible in half.Copy !req
100. The jury'll love that.Copy !req
101. You're getting pretty snippy
to your key witness, aren't you?Copy !req
102. What do you want?Copy !req
103. Maybe you could hook me up
with a little stimmy.Copy !req
104. A little stimmy.Copy !req
105. Are you trying to do this?Copy !req
106. Yes! And I want stimmy
to get a hook that'll do that.Copy !req
107. When no such hook was available,Copy !req
108. Lucille found another way to mollify
her key witness.Copy !req
109. Your mother and I are getting a divorce.Copy !req
110. But while Lucille and George
pretended to have fallen out of love...Copy !req
111. - I'm getting married.
- Gob was pretending the opposite.Copy !req
112. In fact, he was planning
on using his wedding to do one of his famous magical illusions,Copy !req
113. and all of it was to be televised
on one of those weird religious channels.Copy !req
114. And although their plan
was dealt a minor setbackCopy !req
115. when Michael sold the controlling shares
to Lucille 2...Copy !req
116. You know what? I am done with this family.Copy !req
117. I hope you've saved some money,Copy !req
118. 'cause you're gonna need
every dime now.Copy !req
119. All they had to do was keep
their plan a secret from herCopy !req
120. and cash in quickly.Copy !req
121. 4:28 in the morning here in the OC.
I'm John Beard.Copy !req
122. Well, there was some more
grim economic news today.Copy !req
123. The housing prices continue to plummetCopy !req
124. and the economists say
it may take quite some...Copy !req
125. What are you doing?Copy !req
126. I'm John Beard, and I'm a Gloomy Gus.Copy !req
127. I don't have a mustache.Copy !req
128. And the government
put the wall project on hold.Copy !req
129. It can't be on hold.Copy !req
130. They already gave me the money
to start the building.Copy !req
131. No!Copy !req
132. I cannot live off of that.Copy !req
133. No, I already used that money
as the down paymentCopy !req
134. of six square miles of desertCopy !req
135. I cannot afford to make payments on!Copy !req
136. Oh, God. Sorry, Norman.Copy !req
137. What?Copy !req
138. - Nothing.
- Hey, brother. You seem tense.Copy !req
139. Come with me to the sweat lodge,Copy !req
140. sweat out this frustration.
You can learn on this.Copy !req
141. And perhaps it was a sense of futility,Copy !req
142. or the fact he hadn't brought a book
to the desert,Copy !req
143. but George Sr. chose to enter
the small, smoke-filled roomCopy !req
144. while his wife was also confined
to a smoke-filled room,Copy !req
145. having found a way around the building's
strict no-smoking policy...Copy !req
146. What is it about that lady?Copy !req
147. And the fact
that her ankle monitor prevented herCopy !req
148. from approaching the balcony.Copy !req
149. I went down to the club and I—Copy !req
150. slender and long,
even her cigarette.Copy !req
151. Allure's Slender Long smokes.Copy !req
152. Slender and long, smooth and stylish.Copy !req
153. My food was gone and I couldn't...Copy !req
154. That restaurant, typically,
has a really nice—Copy !req
155. Allure Slender Long smokes.Copy !req
156. Aromatically finished
with the Type 3 slender tip.Copy !req
157. Lively, stylish and now.Copy !req
158. Can't really remember the host's name,
but he was…Copy !req
159. he was kind of in his 60s.Copy !req
160. designed to be modern,
extra slender,Copy !req
161. with the stylish taste
of where she's going,Copy !req
162. never where she's been.Copy !req
163. Slender tipped,Copy !req
164. smooth and stylish.Copy !req
165. - Lady, that's Allure.
- I have to stop.Copy !req
166. So... I've...Copy !req
167. But I finally just ordered
the strawberry shortcake, like I said,Copy !req
168. What is it about that lady?
- Please...Copy !req
169. Meanwhile, in George Sr.'s sweat lodge,Copy !req
170. a solution to his problems was emerging
as well...Copy !req
171. Kind of hot, huh?Copy !req
172. I'd give $10,000 for a glass
of lemonade right now.Copy !req
173. In the form of a vision.Copy !req
174. Sweat...Copy !req
175. and squeeze.Copy !req
176. Dr. Norman?
Dr. Norman, we have a hot mess.Copy !req
177. That's Allure.Copy !req
178. George Sr. had been passed out
for two days after having a vision,Copy !req
179. but soon he was out
of his heat-induced comaCopy !req
180. and working on
making his vision a reality.Copy !req
181. and squeeze.Copy !req
182. It was to be a retreat
where he could be a preacher of profitCopy !req
183. to other type-A executives like himself.Copy !req
184. This whole area here,
this is going to be visitor yurts.Copy !req
185. Oh, and we're gonna need
industrial-sized juicers!Copy !req
186. He went to work constructing a seminar...Copy !req
187. Change that into,
"Let's get our checkbooks..."Copy !req
188. Much of which he borrowedCopy !req
189. from his brief stint as a Jewish-y guru
while in prison.Copy !req
190. Caged Wisdom library...
- Read that back to me, please.Copy !req
191. This time he needed to be
actually ordained as a religious preacherCopy !req
192. - to avoid tax implications.
- Lemonade!Copy !req
193. But fortunately there was
an online school for that.Copy !req
194. Question three...Copy !req
195. But business really took offCopy !req
196. when an article
about George Sr.'s operationCopy !req
197. appeared in an exclusively first-class
in-flight magazine.Copy !req
198. And soon the retreat was up and running,Copy !req
199. and George Sr. was determined
to create the illusionCopy !req
200. of a first-class experience.Copy !req
201. Did you want the partial bush
or broken gate view?Copy !req
202. Are you afraid of lizards,
bats, tarantulas,Copy !req
203. the Wall Street Journal
or the New York Times?Copy !req
204. I'm sorry,
those are your newspaper choices.Copy !req
205. - Have a hot day.
Which is why,Copy !req
206. along with never having intended to go
in the first place,Copy !req
207. he missed his son's wedding.Copy !req
208. I know it's bad luck to see me
in my gown before the wedding.Copy !req
209. Well, hopefully I haven't.Copy !req
210. You're angry.Copy !req
211. Why, because none of my family
has shown upCopy !req
212. and the only person I recognize out there
is Tony Wonder,Copy !req
213. who has only shown up
hoping that I'd fail?Copy !req
214. But one Bluth did show up.
- Tobias!Copy !req
215. - Gob!
- Sort of.Copy !req
216. - Thanks for coming.Copy !req
217. I'm playing Roman centurion number two.
What are you playing?Copy !req
218. - I'm the groom!
- I didn't know there was a groom part.Copy !req
219. Betty at And As It Is Such,
So Also As Such Is It Unto You castingCopy !req
220. - told me this was all biblical.Copy !req
221. Well, thank you very much
for your vote of confidence.Copy !req
222. I'll have you know I've worked for
the Miracle Network a number of times.Copy !req
223. He had.
Coming up next,Copy !req
224. Father Marsala's searing docudrama,
Father Marsala's John The Baptist,Copy !req
225. then the anti-abortion drama Embryo Dan:
It Would Have Been A Wonderful Life.Copy !req
226. And later, break out the bagels:Copy !req
227. it's time for Father M's
light-hearted comedyCopy !req
228. A Jew Came To Dinner.Copy !req
229. I hate to be the guy
who quotes his own reviews,Copy !req
230. but His Word magazine...
called my Jew "pitiful."Copy !req
231. And soon it was time for Gob
to take the small, moist AnnCopy !req
232. - of his girlfriend hand.
- ... we're all blessedCopy !req
233. to be gathering hereCopy !req
234. at the Church of the Holy Eternal Rapture.Copy !req
235. We have almost arrived
at that glorious momentCopy !req
236. where we join together
these two very special people,Copy !req
237. but first my almost son-in-law has something he'd like to share
with all of us,Copy !req
238. so... ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
239. please enjoy a magical...Copy !req
240. trick.Copy !req
241. Thanks for that killer intro.Copy !req
242. It's true. This is a magical trick...Copy !req
243. What is he doing?
- ... if what Jesus did was a trick.Copy !req
244. I say it wasn't.Copy !req
245. It was an illusion.Copy !req
246. They did not like that one.Copy !req
247. I don't take notes from you,
since you're... number two.Copy !req
248. Just turn this thing around.Copy !req
249. I am not the real Jesus.Copy !req
250. I am the Amazing Jesus!Copy !req
251. No? I thought that that would be
up your... alley.Copy !req
252. Yes, the real Jesus came off the cross
and went into his cave...Copy !req
253. a dead man.Copy !req
254. But was he crazy enough to do it...
handcuffed?Copy !req
255. - Handcuff the King of the Jews!
- You don't have words here...Copy !req
256. Pastor Veal, if you don't mind,
please go up into the caveCopy !req
257. and assure everyone that there's no way
to escape, no trap doors,Copy !req
258. no secret compartments,Copy !req
259. no way to get out, thank you very...Copy !req
260. Pastor Veal, let me remind youCopy !req
261. that you are in a church
in front of your daughter,Copy !req
262. the congregation, God.Copy !req
263. You cannot tell a lie.Copy !req
264. Nothing out of the ordinary?Copy !req
265. - No, I didn't see anything.
- Yes.Copy !req
266. Jesus went into the cave,
and he arose three days later.Copy !req
267. But I'm not gonna lock myself
in a cave for three daysCopy !req
268. before this wedding ceremony, no.
No, no, no.Copy !req
269. I plan on beating his record
by two full weeks!Copy !req
270. But Gob wasn't working on
an endurance act.Copy !req
271. I don't remember a biblical passage
where Jesus came out of a boulder.Copy !req
272. He was working
on an escape act...Copy !req
273. I'm in the boulder.Copy !req
274. And he was planning on
deserting his bride...Copy !req
275. - No, I said...
- ... instead of marrying her.Copy !req
276. But Gob was not able to open
the secret compartmentCopy !req
277. - that contained the handcuff key.
- It's not gonna work.Copy !req
278. Okay, this isn't gonna work.
Let's do mouse in drink.Copy !req
279. Just get these people some drinks,
we'll just get a mouse. No, no, no.Copy !req
280. You know not what you do!Copy !req
281. But it very clearly said
in the centurions' scriptCopy !req
282. to ignore the magician's protests,Copy !req
283. which meant that, still handcuffed...Copy !req
284. But if my hands are handcuffed
I'll never...Copy !req
285. Gob was unable to break his fall
and was therefore knocked unconscious,Copy !req
286. and as the Gob dummy
was sealed inside the cave,Copy !req
287. the real Gob's fate was sealed as well.Copy !req
288. Well, I guess...Copy !req
289. we'll wait two weeks...Copy !req
290. and see if he's in there.Copy !req
291. Is that okay with you, Ann?Copy !req
292. He's not coming back.Copy !req
293. Gob was stuck inside a fake
boulder in the parking lot of a church,Copy !req
294. while inside the church,
the daily routine proceeded as usual,Copy !req
295. and the anticipation grew
to a fevered pitch.Copy !req
296. Eleven exciting days...Copy !req
297. - although nothing's really happened.
- Day 11.Copy !req
298. Once he gets out, it's going to be
a beautiful, beautiful wedding.Copy !req
299. He's not coming back.Copy !req
300. It was Betty from And As It Is
Such, So Also As Such Is It Unto YouCopy !req
301. that would render Gob's escape act
a disaster.Copy !req
302. You gotta get rid of this thing.
I got Ms. Murray's trailer here.Copy !req
303. I guess if he comes back from the dead,
we could just get a stepladder.Copy !req
304. - Guys.
And a hoarse, weakened GobCopy !req
305. was unable to stop them as the boulder
was shipped to a storage unitCopy !req
306. in Tustin.Copy !req
307. Although a keen eye could see
that Gobs alive,Copy !req
308. but not well, confined in his rock.Copy !req
309. Lucille wasn't faring much better
while she was locked up,Copy !req
310. despite Buster trying to pass the time...Copy !req
311. Chinchilla!Copy !req
312. by playing games
like "Guess the Fur."Copy !req
313. The one you got after Dad had the affair
with the chubby intern from Riverside.Copy !req
314. You win again, Buster.Copy !req
315. I know what's gonna stump you.Copy !req
316. Close your eyes tight and plug your ears.Copy !req
317. Just plug one ear and press the other one
to the couch.Copy !req
318. But after three months,Copy !req
319. Lucille was ready
to desert her youngest son.Copy !req
320. Stop! Mother!Copy !req
321. No, Mother!Copy !req
322. If the alarm goes off and they catch you,
they'll take you away forever!Copy !req
323. I can't take it anymore.
I have to get out of here!Copy !req
324. I don't care. I can't keep playing
"Guess My Fur" six times a day!Copy !req
325. I need a smoke.Copy !req
326. Right to the smokes, huh?Copy !req
327. Give me a minute, let me catch my breath.Copy !req
328. But if Buster was being
taken advantage of,Copy !req
329. it paled in comparison
to what Ann would experienceCopy !req
330. after waiting two full weeks.Copy !req
331. Let's have some fun, from five, four...Copy !req
332. - Three, two, one...
- The dead will walk amongst us.Copy !req
333. No, he shan't, for he-eth not here.Copy !req
334. - I knew it.
Oh, there's a note.Copy !req
335. "If I have not yet returned,
I am in the rapture."Copy !req
336. Oh, and then it says...Copy !req
337. "Love each other."Copy !req
338. What does he think we've been doing?Copy !req
339. I loaned him $1,000.Copy !req
340. A loaned him a thouCopy !req
341. Only George Sr. appeared to be free,Copy !req
342. as within weeks his sweat 'n' squeeze
was thriving and very simple.Copy !req
343. First he sweated away
his acolytes' defenses.Copy !req
344. Come on, Daniels!
You ran Bear Stearns, for God's sake!Copy !req
345. I was like this. Then I went to the desert
to seek answers and now...Copy !req
346. I have them.Copy !req
347. And then it was time for the squeeze.Copy !req
348. And for another 15 grand,
you can have them, too.Copy !req
349. I'll teach you how to get yachts,Copy !req
350. I'll teach you how to get penthouses
and how to get something for yourself,Copy !req
351. by taking it from someone
who thinks it's his.Copy !req
352. Does it come with lemonade?Copy !req
353. It comes with all the lemonade
you can drink.Copy !req
354. Squeeze" had two meanings.Copy !req
355. And although the seminar
was largely a ruse,Copy !req
356. his stamina in overcomingCopy !req
357. the depleting effects
of the sweat lodge...Copy !req
358. Hey!Copy !req
359. Hey!Copy !req
360. was also a ruse.Copy !req
361. No, sir. It is crazy out there.Copy !req
362. For the first time, we are out.
Look what I brought you, Mr. Oscar.Copy !req
363. Fifty bucks, your half.Copy !req
364. Oh. You know, I feel bad... taking this.
All I did was sit and sweat.Copy !req
365. Which is why it seemed that
Father B was so resilientCopy !req
366. to the depleting effects
of the sweat lodge.Copy !req
367. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
368. Now that was the most
invigorating session yet.Copy !req
369. Hey, buddy!Copy !req
370. Come on, it's happening.Copy !req
371. You know? We're helping people. If I could give you just one note,Copy !req
372. - a little energy. Let's go.
If George hadn't discoveredCopy !req
373. that people can be pushed too far...Copy !req
374. - I can't sleep in my own bed...
- ... Lucille was certainly about to.Copy !req
375. - Buster, I'm going to exhale.
- No, please.Copy !req
376. I've had, like, seven
in the past half-hour.Copy !req
377. You're not the one staring five years
in the face.Copy !req
378. Right now I'm staring at a hundred years
in the face!Copy !req
379. How dare you?Copy !req
380. Would you mind?Copy !req
381. Be careful, defendant.Copy !req
382. Remember who you're talking to.Copy !req
383. It sure would be a shameCopy !req
384. if something happened
to your pretty little key witness.Copy !req
385. Star witness
and are you threatening yourself?Copy !req
386. Maybe I am.Copy !req
387. You need me just as much as I need you,
cookie.Copy !req
388. Oh, really?Copy !req
389. 'Cause you can be replaced, you know.Copy !req
390. Can she?
- And even if you can't,Copy !req
391. you're not the boss of me.Copy !req
392. Can I go to the—
I'm going to the park!Copy !req
393. And perhaps Buster would have returnedCopy !req
394. to make sure his mother
had her star witness...Copy !req
395. Oh, Buster! Hello!Copy !req
396. Hello to you too, 2.Copy !req
397. Had he not run into someone
else Lucille antagonized.Copy !req
398. - Look at all this produce.
- I'm juicing now.Copy !req
399. - It's two o'clock in the afternoon.Copy !req
400. Honey, it's eight a.m. somewhere.Copy !req
401. Oh, I forgot.
Your mother wouldn't allow it.Copy !req
402. I don't care what she wa—Copy !req
403. I don't care what she wants.Copy !req
404. I don't do everything she tells me.Copy !req
405. And that's how Buster joined
a family of deserters...Copy !req
406. Let's get juiced.Copy !req
407. And also got to have dessert.Copy !req
408. On the next Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences...Copy !req
409. Lucille decides to take a few keepsakes
with her in case things don't go her way.Copy !req
410. And discovers that the family
she thought would support herCopy !req
411. had actually already begun
giving up her stuff in case she lost.Copy !req
412. And he's supposed to be the good one.Copy !req
413. This does not bode well for tomorrow.Copy !req
414. And Gob ultimately gets
to appear on TV after all.Copy !req
415. It's a masker.Copy !req
416. Jesus, there's a man in there.Copy !req
417. Just not the show he wanted.Copy !req
418. Let's get the bidding started at $100.
Anybody?Copy !req