1. Gob Bluth had just been told
by his father
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2. to go to work for his younger brother.
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3. Thanks for the birthday card
that I never got from you
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4. for the last 40 years.
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5. What the hell?
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6. And even though Michael was the one
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7. asked to do the favor...
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8. What the hell?
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9. it was Gob who felt he had
a cross to bear.
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10. I got right of way...
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11. In fact, the long estranged brothers
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12. were secretly competitive.
with one another.
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13. No... No, no.
My right of way.
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14. Okay.
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15. - Gob.
- Michael.
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16. Still, they reunited.
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17. Hey, Gob.
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18. Michael.
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19. happy to see each other...
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20. Gob?
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21. at first.
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22. Michael.
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23. So, hear you need help
moving these memorials
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24. - to the death of the housing market.
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25. That's a memorial to the death
of Pete the mailman.
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26. I knew that.
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27. I brought one, too.
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28. Size of the man's heart.
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29. I've just got to figure out
how to get it out of the car.
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30. If I could remember how I got it in.
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31. If I were Muslim,
would you say "Muslim magic act"?
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32. No.
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33. But it is hard to imagine any Muslim
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34. handcuffing himself to a glittery cross
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35. and living to tell about it.
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36. Yeah, well, the Christians
aren't so hot about it either.
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37. Well...
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38. Michael could see
that his brother was unhappy,
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39. and that his life had not worked out
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40. the way he had hoped.
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41. Things are incredible for me.
I'm having an incredible year.
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42. I am a movie producer now,
producing a movie.
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43. So they've got me in
this enormous office.
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44. Told 'em I don't wanna be driving
to Beverly Hills every single day,
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45. so they put me in an enormous office
just over here.
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46. Rental.
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47. My personal life is off the charts.
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48. I met someone.
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49. Can't really give you any information.
Kind of famous-y.
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50. Well, good for you. I also met someone.
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51. Also famous-y.
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52. Can't give you any information.
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53. In fact, Michael didn't even find out
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54. who she was until one night earlier.
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55. Oh, my God.
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56. I'm dating Ron Howard's girlfriend.
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57. Although, he did have
some of the details wrong.
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58. She's an actress.
You know her.
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59. She was Ron's illegitimate daughter.
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60. A fact unbeknownst to many.
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61. Well, we kind of like to keep that quiet.
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62. I can give you information
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63. about your airless office
you're gonna be spending mornings in.
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64. You know what I could go for
is some guac.
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65. - You don't live there anymore.
- This heat...
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66. makes me want guac.
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67. Now the story of what happened
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68. when the one man who was
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69. holding his family together
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70. finally let go...
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71. and the separate journeys
that eventually gave them no choice
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72. but to come back together.
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73. It's Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences.
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74. Model home? More like model tomb.
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75. Am I right?
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76. Michael and Gob reunited
after a long time apart.
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77. meticulously maintained.
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78. There are some vultures.
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79. I think they might still smell Pete.
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80. If it wasn't for the movie thing,
I'd do it myself.
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81. They practically sell themselves,
just got to bring the people in.
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82. I'm ready to move in today.
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83. - No, people other than you.
- I'm starving.
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84. Starving? You won't find anything here.
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85. They've been abandoned for...
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86. Lindsay.
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87. No, this...
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88. Maybe Tobias?
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89. It was John Beard.
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90. Shall we?
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91. Well, the value of these homes isn't
gonna go down if we don't sell one today.
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92. Let's see if I can find a...
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93. Do you have a bottle opener?
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94. Great idea.
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95. And after a few more drinks
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96. and a little more depreciation...
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97. Michael admitted he had a rival
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98. for his girlfriend.
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99. You don't have to worry
about Ron Howard.
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100. He's not competition for you.
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101. Really?
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102. No, the guy's, like, 100 years old.
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103. What's he going to do,
poke you in the eyes?
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104. You're confused.
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105. Ron Howard directed Apollo 13.
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106. You're thinking of Mo Howard,
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107. the angry Stooge, been dead
for a quarter century.
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108. That's good,
cause the whole time I'm thinking, "Unless she likes a guy who's funny..."
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109. - Sure.
- That guy is funny.
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110. The whole time, you're like...
"Is he gonna poke me in the eyes?"
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111. Gob, I don't think that the movie...
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112. It might not even happen,
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113. because I don't think that
I can ask my son...
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114. What happened between him and me
was very disappointing.
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115. Don't need to tell me
about disappointment and sons.
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116. Let's not forget Steve Holt.
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117. I was talking about a son
disappointing a father.
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118. Yeah, that does make it different.
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119. Show him you're a big shot,
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120. you don't need to live
in your son's dorm.
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121. I just live in my parents' penthouse now.
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122. Take him to the Ealing Club.
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123. It's all show biz.
I used to hang out there all the time.
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124. It's actresses and stuff like that.
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125. I don't know if I could pick up the phone
and call him and ask him.
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126. You know what, Michael? I'll call him for you.
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127. You'd do that for me?
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128. It's the least I can do.
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129. You've given me a new sense of purpose.
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130. I don't want you to
get your hopes up.
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131. When I said that these places
sell themselves,
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132. I should have gone on to say,
you know, that...
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133. No, they don't.
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134. I mean destroying Tony Wonder.
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135. I'm going to destroy his career
the same way he destroyed mine.
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136. Gob was referring to an escape act
he'd performed
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137. that had failed when the hidden
compartment that held
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138. the keys to his escape hadn't opened...
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139. humiliating him in
front of his bride...
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140. He's not coming back.
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141. Her...
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142. and all of Christendom.
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143. Destroying Tony Wonder
is your sense of purpose?
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144. I thought you said thanks to me...
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145. He's performing
at a gay club tonight,
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146. and I need you as my boyfriend
to help me get in.
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147. I'm gonna say no, thank you.
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148. Don't you think
it's a little inappropriate?
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149. I am your brother.
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150. You sound like my son.
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151. Whom Gob had spoken to earlier that day.
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152. Her name's Ann, by the way.
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153. Hey, you remembered.
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154. How about you and I
go to a magic show together?
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155. I love magic, of course.
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156. It'd be sort of a father-son thing...
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157. at a gay club.
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158. Well, technically a gay night
at a magic club.
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159. Hey, you know what'd be funny?
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160. If you pretended to be my boyfriend
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161. so I could lock this guy Tony Wonder...
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162. I don't know,
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163. I don't think this whole thing
is a good idea.
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164. Besides, last time we tried
to do something together,
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165. - you didn't even show up.
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166. I didn't even hear from you
for your entire childhood.
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167. Then thanks for the birthday card
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168. that I never got from you
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169. for the last 40 years.
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170. This was extra hard for Steve to hear
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171. on his actual birthday.
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172. So what do I owe you?
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173. There you go.
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174. That's funny, I used to
date a guy named Steve Holt.
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175. Steve Holt!
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176. Yeah, that's the guy.
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177. Heck of a birthday
this is shaping up to be.
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178. In fact, it was about to get worse.
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179. And didn't you already try
locking Tony Wonder in his trick?
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180. Yes, but that wasn't for revenge,
that was just on spec.
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181. And it didn't work.
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182. Besides, that was before I knew
he had locked me in my trick.
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183. You still don't know that he tried to
lock you in your trick.
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184. I do know, I have proof.
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185. I went in that cave
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186. and I found this.
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187. We both know what that stands for.
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188. Jesus.
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189. No, that would be a "J".
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190. This is a "T".
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191. Tony Wonder was there in the cave
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192. the night that I did my big illusion. So, when I went yesterday to the cave
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193. and I saw that this had
wedged my compartment door shut,
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194. I knew that I'd been wronged.
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195. Okay.
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196. The only thing that
we know is that you
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197. tried to lock Tony Wonder
in his trick first.
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198. So you're even.
- No, no.
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199. Because mine didn't work.
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200. He got the last laugh,
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201. which, in this case,
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202. happened to be
the first laugh.
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203. I don't understand why you can't
seem to follow me...
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204. You've got a chance to make a life here.
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205. I'm offering you a good job,
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206. selling good homes,
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207. making real good money,
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208. and I'm not asking for anything in return.
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209. What is this?
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210. I'm asking for something in return.
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211. This is for the movie.
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212. For your life rights in perpetuity,
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213. in the known universe and beyond.
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214. Look at this.
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215. What's that mean?
You're not gonna sign it?
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216. No. I was just thinking that I should
have my attorney Bob Loblaw look at this.
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217. - He doesn't need to.
- I'm fine with it.
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218. It's boilerplate stuff.
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219. - I'm gonna be in a movie.
- No, you're not.
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220. Okay.
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221. Gob was making good
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222. on a promise
he had made to Michael...
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223. I need to see you tonight.
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224. to talk to his son.
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225. It's about your father and you.
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226. Really, is he upset?
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227. Do I seem like a clown to you?
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228. I got it.
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229. Do I seem like some
kind of a clown to you?
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230. I got it, Uncle Gob. Just tell me where.
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231. Meet me tonight at the Gothic Castle.
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232. I will.
The Gothic Castle?
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233. No, the Gothic Asshole.
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234. - Yes, the Gothic Castle.
- I didn't say the Gothic Asshole.
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235. You think they call it the Gothic Asshole?
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236. - I said the Gothic Castle.
- It's the Gothic Castle.
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237. Okay.
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238. - I think you look amazing.
- I'll take it.
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239. - Great.
- No, no.
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240. The compliment, not the shirt.
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241. So, as Gob readied himself
for a magic show...
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242. Tobias began work on a show of his own.
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243. to create the Fantastic Four musical,
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244. that he himself wrote and directed.
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245. The goal is that we all get
a little outing
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246. on the Cinco de Cuatro,
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247. where we'll be performing it on a boat.
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248. I hope no one gets seasick.
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249. Tobias had been working
at Lucille Austero's rehab clinic
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250. as a therapist
for some Hollywood notables.
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251. - Hi, I'm Mark.
- From pop star Mark Cherry...
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252. But, please, first names only.
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253. Mark is my first name.
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254. Cherry's my last name.
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255. And Simon says, you're out.
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256. No. No, Mark Cherry,
I was having fun.
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257. I have a bit of a wit.
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258. Well, I think we all recognize
this gentleman.
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259. to celebrity side-kick, Andy Richter.
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260. I'm not Andy fucking Richter.
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261. Correction...
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262. the identical quintuplet brother
of Andy...
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263. I'm Emmett.
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264. who has withheld the use
of his likeness.
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265. Emmett who?
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266. Richter.
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267. Simon says, you're out.
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268. But most notably of all...
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269. he reconnected with a woman
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270. - DeBrie!
- He'd loved and lost...
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271. How are you?
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272. So, you two know each other?
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273. Only to find out he was
about to lose her again.
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274. there is no way you
can be her therapist.
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275. And so Tobias found a way...
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276. to be with the woman he loved.
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277. I could direct, we could get
Mark Cherry to do the music,
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278. and we can cast it with patients.
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279. She was in the movie, The Fantastic Four.
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280. I was in The Fantasticks.
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281. And so it was decided.
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282. And this'll make my stay shorter?
I'll get out of here a week sooner?
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283. Well, sobriety is
the most important thing,
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284. but we'll see how good the music is.
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285. And so they set to work.
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286. And even though DeBrie had some trouble
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287. with the choreography at first...
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288. Tobias knew she'd blow them away
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289. with her show stopping number
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290. as the Invisible Girl.
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291. Okay, good. Get out there.
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292. All right. Okay.
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293. I like this, too...
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294. Where's Argyle?
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295. She's choreographing.
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296. Let's all do it too.
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297. It's called the thinking man's squat.
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298. Go with her. Go. Follow her.
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299. But if DeBrie was nervous...
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300. Am I crazy...
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301. or is this really good?
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302. it was nothing compared to
how George Michael felt
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303. when he arrived to speak
with his uncle at the Gothic Castle.
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304. which, that night, did resemble
the Gothic Asshole.
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305. - Uncle Gob!
- Don't call me Uncle...
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306. Actually, that's good.
That works here.
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307. What's going on?
- He's fine.
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308. You told me he was upset about something.
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309. I don't know.
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310. I do know that your daddy
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311. wants you to get your hot, little,
tight, little, hot ass
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312. - right up there right away to see him.
- You had me come all the way here
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313. to tell me my dad
wants me to meet him?
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314. Those things are unrelated.
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315. I'm trying to lock this guy, Tony,
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316. into this gay magic trick.
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317. And I just needed
believable arm candy...
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318. I do know that your dad
is really upset with you.
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319. He's upset?
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320. I asked you that.
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321. That was the first thing I asked you.
You're giving me these crazy...
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322. Mad?
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323. - It's my stamp.
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324. - I'm sorry about that.
- No, that's okay.
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325. I probably won't come back in.
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326. I'm gonna go see my dad.
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327. Yeah, because you're a good son.
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328. Bit my tongue...
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329. Now get out of here.
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330. I never want to sleep with you again.
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331. After successfully looking like
he'd had a fight with his boyfriend,
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332. and knowing that Tony would
go into the closet
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333. and pop out of somewhere else,
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334. Gob proceeded to lock
everything he could find.
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335. and Gob settled in
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336. to watch his revenge play out.
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337. A magician has many secrets,
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338. but there was one I was forced to keep,
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339. by society.
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340. "Don't talk to us," they said.
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341. "Keep your hands to yourself,"
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342. they also said.
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343. Magic is only for straight men.
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344. I don't want to look at you, son.
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345. Just go to work.
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346. Why can't you be like your brother?
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347. Well, I'm here...
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348. I'm queer,
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349. and now...
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350. I'm in a chair!
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351. Did somebody say Wonder?
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352. Nobody actually did that time,
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353. but I think he got away with it.
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354. Didn't expect to see you here.
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355. Want to get a drink later?
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356. And believe it or not,
it was this trick...
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357. Now everybody's gay!
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358. that really brought
the crowd to their feet.
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359. Although it was pretty easy
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360. to figure out how he did it.
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361. They started out gay.
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362. You missed your cue.
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363. Gob was having a drink with a man
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364. he'd twice tried to sabotage.
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365. Beanbag chair. I was wondering
what you were gonna pop out of.
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366. Did somebody say "wonder"?
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367. ing?
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368. I always try to stay one step ahead
of the audience.
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369. ¡Vamonos!
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370. Come on, man. Timing, right?
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371. Leave the mask.
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372. Yeah, of course, mask.
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373. Yeah, that makes sense.
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374. I use a mask myself,
in my act.
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375. You have to tell me how you do
that beanbag trick.
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376. I guess, since you're a magician, too.
But not a word of this.
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377. I did use a mask.
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378. I put it on another guy
and I was in the beanbag. That's why they put that sign
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379. on the beanbag.
"Do not sit on this..."
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380. And the magicians shared the secrets
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381. of their ancient and mystical craft.
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382. And also it's very hard to get out of
at the end,
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383. when I appear.
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384. So how have you been?
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385. I haven't seen you since your "wedding,"
when you did the Jesus gag.
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386. I guess you could say
I was a runaway groom.
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387. It's okay, I know it didn't work.
It made the "Woops" column in Poof.
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388. It's cool, though, man.
I've been there.
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389. Your assistant
probably sabotaged you.
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390. I don't even use one anymore.
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391. I resorted to using my own legs
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392. in the Saw-the-Lady-in-Half gag.
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393. I even shaved them.
Want to feel?
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394. Sure.
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395. Wow, they are smooth.
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396. Like a lady's.
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397. I think.
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398. You're funny.
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399. Too bad we can't do this more.
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400. I dunno if it'd be great
for my reputation
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401. to be seen with
a fundamentalist Christian magician.
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402. And he was suspicious
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403. that Gob might not be gay.
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404. Although, the fact
that he borrowed Tobias' car...
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405. with the license plate ANUSTART.
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406. - That's me.
- ... alleviated some of those concerns.
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407. What the hell?
Let's do it.
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408. And the next day, Tobias returned
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409. to the model home.
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410. Beard, I'm only here
to pick up my car keys.
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411. Tobias?
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412. Gob?
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413. Good to see you, old friend.
What have you been up to?
Copy !req
414. Things are good, nothing much.
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415. I'm a registered sex offender,
but things are good.
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416. Yes.
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417. And I'm working at
Lucille Two's rehab center,
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418. the one she owns,
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419. not the one she famously
went to 12 times.
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420. Can we finish over breakfast?
I'm starving.
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421. Is it finishing? Okay.
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422. And the two friends caught up.
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423. If I wouldn't have gotten arrested,
I wouldn't have ended up working at rehab,
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424. and I wouldn't have
reconnected with my love.
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425. True, I can't ethically ravage her body,
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426. I have to leave that to time,
but she's just so much fun to be with.
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427. I, too, am in a relationship,
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428. but mine is purely
a revenge-based deal.
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429. I plan on making this person
fall in love with me and then destroying them
by breaking their heart.
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430. How do you make someone love you?
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431. Can you pass the mustard, please?
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432. It's easy when you've got so much
in common. Last night, for instance,
Copy !req
433. we both got a case of the munchies,
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434. and then we went out
and we stole these pies...
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435. As it turns out, they did a lot
more than steal pies.
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436. They had a raucous good time.
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437. And then the candy
bean dish right here,
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438. we made those at Color Me Mine,
and I know they're kind of cockeyed,
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439. but they remind us both
of my crooked smile.
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440. I'll tell you who,
but this person is sort of a celebrity.
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441. Turns out my femme fatale
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442. is a bit of a celebrity herself.
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443. Well, looks like life is
going pretty well for both of us.
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444. Except that I'm broke.
Copy !req
445. And I'm a sex offender.
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446. Michael expects me to sell
these split-level death traps.
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447. And how am I
supposed to do that?
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448. I mean, there are no schools or libraries
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449. or Internet or playgrounds
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450. within 20 miles of here.
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451. It's funny, I've been looking
for a place to live,
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452. and that fills virtually every
parole requirement I have.
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453. That's great.
When can you move in?
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454. Duh! Now.
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455. The other sex offenders
are gonna be so jealous.
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456. And that's when Gob went from filling
one Sudden Valley house...
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457. You know other people
with similar needs?
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458. I have a list of men that could
fill every opening you have.
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459. to filling them all.
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460. Let me get a shot of mustard.
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461. That was all cheese,
but no mustard.
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462. Gob didn't want to look too into it...
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463. by calling Tony right away.
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464. It's Tony... I'm not here right now
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465. because I'm right behind you.
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466. Made you look.
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467. But how did I know you looked?
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468. Because I'm right behind you!
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469. Although, he did seem
kind of into it.
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470. Made you look again.
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471. Tony, it's Gob.
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472. Man, does anybody ever fall for that?
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473. Listen, I was thinking about you,
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474. what a fun night we
had the other night.
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475. So just call me when you get a chance.
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476. Okay? All right.
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477. - That was fast, you hot little... Hi.
It's your mother.
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478. You better start to build this wall,
pronto.
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479. I tried with your father, but he can't do it.
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480. The wall in question
was to be built
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481. between the US and Mexico.
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482. but without the resources to build it...
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483. George Sr, had found a work around.
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484. There's more wall...
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485. And you know, it feels good
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486. to be protecting our borders.
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487. It's a heart project.
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488. - We love America.
- Daddy!
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489. God, he Steamboat Willied it.
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490. He had.
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491. You need to make it look like
major construction has begun on the wall.
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492. I'm busy now.
I'm working with Michael.
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493. What are you working on? Dad made him give me a job.
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494. I see, so he thought
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495. it was a good idea
to have you two together.
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496. Isn't that nice?
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497. My God, is there anyone
there with half a brain
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498. that can help me with this?
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499. I don't know about half a brain,
but Tobias is living with me right now
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500. and he's not very bright.
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501. And Gob set out to find a crew.
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502. Who wants...
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503. Hurt my ears.
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504. Who wants to help me build a wall?
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505. to keep Mexicans out of America?
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506. All right, all right!
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507. Who wants to help me
build a wall for no reason?
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508. It's a different wall.
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509. Hey, thanks for—
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510. This thing is loud!
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511. And so he decided
to head to the border ribbon
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512. to put in some
manual labor himself.
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513. I'll show everyone I'm not afraid
of the sweet sting of sweat in my...
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514. when he came across
a local maca picker.
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515. You need help to make your sign stand up?
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516. Yes. No!
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517. I need to find some Mexicans
to help build this wall.
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518. You should get the Chinese
to build your wall.
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519. - We make great walls.
- That would be great.
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520. - I'm Chinese. I know all Chinese.
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521. - I hook you up.
- Well, that's—
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522. - That'd be great.
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523. Would you get off my, Mother!
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524. Well, if I wasn't sure
you were gay, I am now. It's Tony. Hey, Tony.
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525. Sorry I couldn't talk last night,
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526. but I'd really love
to get together later.
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527. This week, or maybe Saturday.
Say, five o'clock...
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528. - Great.
- I'm thinking Little Ballroom.
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529. Good I'll see you there.
Bye.
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530. That was Tony.
My friend Tony.
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531. She sounds wonderful.
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532. No.
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533. No, I'm gonna get revenge
on him
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534. and destroy his life.
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535. Her life.
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536. Our... life.
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537. Destroy our life.
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538. Destroy our life.
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539. That doesn't matter.
Who cares?
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540. On the next Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences...
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541. You're gonna have to work
with our new patient,
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542. and good luck with her.
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543. We call her the "B" word
from the "C" ward.
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544. Or is it the "C" word
from the "B" ward?
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545. Tobias gets some bad news.
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546. Hello, Anus Tart.
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547. And she never even
saw the license plate.
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