1. Now the story of a wealthy
family who lost everything
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2. and the one son who had no choice
but to keep them all together.
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3. It's Arrested Development...
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4. Michael was sharing some very
important news with his parents.
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5. I am getting married.
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6. Who the hell to?
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7. Who do you think? Rita.
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8. Her?
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9. Why?
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10. Well, first of all, she needs a
green card to stay in the country.
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11. There it is.
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12. She needs a green card to stay in
the country, because, secondly...
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13. we're really crazy about each other.
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14. You hardly know her.
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15. I know all the important
stuff. She was in the Olympics.
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16. She's sweet, she's smart,
she's beautiful, she's special.
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17. She was special.
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18. Are houses terribly hard to make?
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19. Actually, the hardest
part is finding the land.
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20. But she wasn't smart.
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21. Instead of making houses,
maybe you should make land.
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22. For Rita had only mentally progressed...
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23. On the ocean.
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24. to the level of a first grader.
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25. There's no land on the ocean.
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26. Michael might have
noticed her disability
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27. if it had not been masked
by her English accent.
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28. You're brilliant.
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29. Yeah... She wasn't.
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30. I know she's a really, really
good person, and everything else
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31. is going to be little
surprises along the way.
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32. With the exception of that one big one.
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33. The wedding?
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34. Is in one month.
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35. A month?
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36. All right, now look, just
because a woman gets pregnant
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37. doesn't mean you have to marry her.
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38. Too many lives have been ruined
because some cheap waitress
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39. at a HoJo said she used an IUD.
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40. It was Stuckey's.
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41. But I believed you.
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42. She's not pregnant— truthfully,
we haven't even slept together.
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43. - This is funny!
- He's gay!
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44. Where's your hand?
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45. Oh. I'm having my high school ring put on
it, and my hook is stuck in the staircar.
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46. Domo arigoto, Mister Roboto...
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47. Do you think getting married
will solve your sex problem?
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48. No. And... we don't have a problem.
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49. We just haven't had the
right opportunity yet.
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50. Lindsay said Rita slept over last night.
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51. Yes. But I gave her the bedroom because
I didn't want her to feel pressured.
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52. Actually, it was Michael
who felt a little pressured.
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53. And I like to keep the light on.
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54. That way I can see
if you have a monster.
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55. Night-night.
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56. Can you shut the door on your way out?
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57. I can't believe you're
not supporting this.
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58. Because it is obvious what she's after.
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59. Our money.
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60. Oh, God, our money!
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61. Let's just all relax, and remind
ourselves that we don't have any money.
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62. She's already gotten our money!
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63. Let's not forget she's the
one that gave us the idea
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64. for that ocean-top
town called "Bluthton."
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65. Oh, big deal, I had that
same basic idea years ago.
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66. I thought you'd be happy, and
I should have known better.
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67. Michael, be careful.
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68. People just see what they want to see.
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69. If she loved you, she'd show it.
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70. Michael was
worried—
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71. his mother may have been making sense.
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72. So, he returned home to talk to Rita.
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73. Ah, here comes the bride.
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74. Hey. What are you doing in a wheelchair?
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75. No, no, no, it's a dolly to
help videotape your nuptials.
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76. I don't think I need any
footage of my nuptials.
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77. Tobias, are you sure that this dolly isn't
related to your recent health problems?
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78. Okay, so my legs and my left
arm occasionally "go to sleep,"
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79. and you want to call
it a health problem.
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80. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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81. No, I can get up myself.
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82. Here we go.
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83. Let me get in the dolly.
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84. No, thank you, I don't need your help.
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85. It does seem like you've been having a whole
lot of trouble since the hair transplants.
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86. Maybe you should see a bubuman.
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87. A... "bubuman"?
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88. Oh, uh, a doctor.
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89. It's a British expression. Like they
say "go-up box" instead of "elevator."
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90. Oh, like when they say
"poofter" to mean "tourist," yes.
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91. Boy, that Rita's a smarty.
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92. True, but it's not like anybody appreciates
it. Mom and Dad do not like Rita.
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93. Are they crazy? She's amazing.
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94. I saw her last night and she helped
with this little project I was doing.
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95. Maeby was struggling with a screen play
in her secret life as a film executive.
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96. Is that a story?
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97. Not yet. It doesn't have an ending.
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98. He's in L.A., she's in Japan. How do
I get these two characters together?
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99. Maybe they could walk.
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100. Across the ocean?
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101. If it's not too deep.
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102. No, deep is good.
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103. People are going to say, "What the hell
just happened? I better say I like it."
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104. 'Cause nobody wants to seem stupid.
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105. I like it.
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106. The Ocean Walker.
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107. Holy crap, that's going
to look good on a hat.
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108. And Michael caught up with his brother.
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109. Pal, I need a favor. As you know, I'm
getting married in about a month...
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110. Say no more.
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111. Great. Are you sure
that you know what...
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112. Yup, yup, yup. Got it. Super.
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113. And-and, just so that
we're both clear...
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114. You want me to do a magic
show at the wedding. I'm on it.
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115. So glad we pushed through that.
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116. No magic.
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117. Why, because the one
little screw up last time?
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118. Put her out! Put her out!
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119. Tracy!
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120. Thank God we already did the pictures.
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121. Which reminds me that Rita shouldn't
wear any hair spray at this thing.
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122. I just want you to be my witness.
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123. Oh, you want me to...
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124. be your Best Man?
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125. It's just a signature
I need. On the license.
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126. My son's not old
enough. It's no big deal.
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127. I will not take this
sacred duty lightly.
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128. I am going to get you the single healthiest
call girl that this town has ever seen.
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129. This is why I'm calling it a
"Witness," and not a "Best Man."
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130. All you have to do is watch.
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131. Oh, I'm not going to spend this
kind of money and not watch.
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132. This may have been a bad choice.
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133. Hey, hello. Well, look at you
two, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum.
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134. Michael didn't mean it in that way.
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135. How could he, he didn't even know.
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136. We had the best time!
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137. She's got such an amazing fashion sense.
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138. You guys have these
jackets on inside out?
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139. Yeah, that way you see the label.
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140. Yeah, I mean, that's what you're paying for,
right? It's a great statement on fashion.
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141. Plus, it doesn't tickle your neck.
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142. Michael took Lindsay aside
to share his concerns.
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143. So, Lindsay, when did you first
realize that you and Tobias
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144. had no chance at a
physical relationship?
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145. Oh, my God, do you think we have no
chance at a physical relationship?
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146. Just now.
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147. Um, see, Rita and I have
not been physical yet, and...
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148. You don't think that she's doing
this just for a green card, do you?
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149. No. No, she's not that kind of person.
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150. No, you just haven't
been alone with her.
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151. Ask her to stay over at
a hotel with you tonight.
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152. She's going to know what that means.
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153. That is not a bad idea.
Don't... don't do that.
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154. And Gob began to prepare a magic
trick for Michael's wedding.
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155. King... takes his queen...
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156. and showers her with diamonds!
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157. Clubs.
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158. Club sauce.
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159. He covers her with club sauce.
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160. Right, that'll be my
line if that happens.
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161. Is that a magic trick?
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162. I love magic.
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163. I don't appreciate
the dry British humor.
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164. Please do a magic trick for me.
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165. Well, I shouldn't...
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166. I'd hate to be blamed for setting another
one of Michael's brides... on fire!
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167. Oh, lighter fluid—like
Uncle Trevor uses!
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168. But wherever did it come from?
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169. Okay, I've got to get you into
an illusion at the wedding.
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170. How long can you hold your breath?
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171. Oh, long. One time, 20 minutes.
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172. Actually, her record was 20 seconds.
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173. You can stop it.
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174. Okay. I'll take your word for it.
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175. Now, I just need to find a trick that
puts you out of oxygen for 20 minutes.
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176. Sorry, did I hear the word "trick"?
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177. And it smells a lot like
lighter fluid in here.
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178. You know, I did say no
tricks, Gob, and I mean it.
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179. What if I find a trick that has
her float to the alter or something?
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180. No, no. Love for her to
walk. And not to drown.
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181. Or fly through the
air. Or catch on fire.
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182. Is she allergic to cat fur?
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183. Oop— no
tigers.
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184. Right.
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185. So, uh, Rita, um...
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186. I was wondering if maybe you
and I might head down to a hotel.
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187. Maybe some alone time.
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188. - Oh, yes.
- Yeah?
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189. Maybe our rooms could touch.
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190. Well, I-I-I was hoping maybe for
more than just our rooms to touch.
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191. I was... thinking maybe we
could be... in the same room.
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192. Be in the same bed.
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193. Oh, I see what you
mean, a real sleepover.
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194. Well, maybe.
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195. Okay.
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196. Really?
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197. Well, maybe I should go home and get
my things. I do kind of miss my jammies.
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198. I think they're going to have
a lot of that stuff there.
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199. And my tiny teddy.
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200. Good. Yes, get that.
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201. And so George Michael
drove Rita to Wee Britain.
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202. It's nice to be with someone young.
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203. We can listen to young
people's music for a change.
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204. Great, yeah, please.
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205. - Hot potato, hot potato... -
Hot po-ta-to... Hot "potat-o"...
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206. That's when he first grew concerned.
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207. And Rita packed for her sleepover.
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208. Do you have any idea
what a "sleepover" is?
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209. Cause it's not just sleep.
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210. I know what it is, Trevor,
I've seen your secret magazine.
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211. I want to have grown-up fun.
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212. Spoon and figgy pudding.
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213. Rabbit downdum druggary's hollow.
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214. And I want to have pop-pop.
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215. Well, the very fact that you call
it that, tells me you're not ready.
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216. Oh, and for your information,
that's a cricket magazine.
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217. Whether you like it or not,
you're still a child in many ways.
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218. I've got a problem with you having
sexual relations with that man.
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219. So do I.
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220. I mean, it's not your fault your
parents were cousins, but... here we are.
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221. Now, I've been charged with taking care
of you, and I'm bloody well going to do it!
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222. Well, Michael will be my cousin soon
enough, cause we're getting married.
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223. - Married?
- Married!
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224. Totally out of the question!
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225. Married! Married! Married!
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226. All right, that does it.
You're not going anywhere.
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227. I'm putting the invisible
locks on the door.
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228. That's not fair.
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229. - Lock. Lock. Lock.
- That's not fair!
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230. - It's just not fair!
- Lock. Lock.
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231. I've got to find a new hiding
place for that magazine.
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232. And Michael was waiting at the hotel.
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233. Hey, Dad?
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234. Just wanted to let you know that
I'm at a hotel with my wife-to-be,
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235. and we're very, very much in love.
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236. Put her on.
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237. Michael briefly considered
faking the voice.
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238. I... She's in the shower.
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239. - I'll wait.
- Let's wait.
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240. Unless you want me to
just call you back or...
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241. No, I have nowhere to go,
I'm under house arrest.
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242. Let's watch something together.
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243. Wow, that Blossom blew up, huh?
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244. Say, how's that shower coming?
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245. All right, look, she's
not in the shower.
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246. Really?
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247. She said that she'd meet me at the hotel
and I-I called you a little prematurely.
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248. But she is coming.
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249. Really?
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250. Hey, put Rita on.
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251. And that's when Michael finally
accepted that Rita wasn't coming.
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252. And that local calls
were $2.95 a minute.
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253. Come on!
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254. That's where they get you.
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255. Michael drove to Wee Britain
to call off the wedding
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256. that he now realized
was not based on love.
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257. Who is it?
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258. It's Michael, Rita. Can I come in?
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259. I can't let you in!
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260. You know, you didn't show up last night.
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261. I think the least you can do
is talk to me face-to-face.
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262. I can't.
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263. Trevor locked the door.
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264. He doesn't want me to be with you.
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265. What, he locked the door?
You can't unlock this door?
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266. I can't even see half the locks!
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267. - Rita? What?
- They're invisible.
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268. - Trevor's the only one who can see them.
- I'm trapped! Listen, I've got an idea.
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269. Go next to the window.
I'm gonna climb up.
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270. Be careful.
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271. I will!
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272. And so, Michael set about rescuing the
beautiful, sweet, mentally challenged woman
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273. he'd fallen in love with, without
realizing she was mentally challenged.
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274. - Yay! Michael! Yay!
- What's this?
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275. - Someone undid the locks.
- Okay, come on out.
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276. Trevor's back.
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277. Oh. Fine. Come on, hop on.
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278. - What?
- Hop on.
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279. Ready?
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280. Hey! Stop that. Both of you come back!
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281. You can't stop us!
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282. Nothing can stop us now.
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283. Nothing in the world of man
nor beast, nor time is...
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284. I hate that doll.
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285. And so, reunited with Rita,
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286. Michael told his parents he'd
be getting married tomorrow.
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287. Well, God help her if she
tries to rename Bluthton.
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288. I'll sink it first.
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289. I swear, I'll sink the whole damn thing.
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290. They're going through
with it... tomorrow.
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291. But that's when George and
Lucille had a surprise visitor.
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292. All right, where the hell is Rita?
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293. I'm her uncle.
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294. Let the hand-outs begin!
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295. There's not gonna be any hand-outs,
and she is not gonna marry your son.
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296. You're against this marriage, too?
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297. Well, of course I am.
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298. Rita's not capable of
making a decision like that.
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299. You are not gonna get Rita's millions
just because she's mentally challenged.
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300. Millions?
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301. Millions?
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302. Mentally challenged?
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303. Shh! It's not polite.
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304. She owns all of Wee Britain.
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305. And also the Wee Britain in Cleveland.
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306. Of course, we're probably
gonna lose all that
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307. if her ridiculous idea for
Sea Britain goes through.
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308. We are not after her money.
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309. And I don't think Michael even
knows about her... condition.
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310. Yes, it's funny how Americans
don't pick up on that.
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311. I think it's 'cause of her accent and the
plastic surgery she's been able to afford.
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312. We wouldn't have this trouble
if they'd met last year.
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313. I got to put a stop to this.
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314. We're gonna search every
bloody hotel in town.
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315. Oh, Legoland.
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316. - I think they said they were going to Legoland.
- They did say Legoland.
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317. I didn't hear anything about Legoland.
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318. He doesn't know what's talking about.
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319. We think he may be mentally challenged.
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320. What?
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321. All right then.
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322. We have got 24 hours to get them married
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323. before Michael figures
out what she really is.
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324. This the first time in two years
you've sounded like George Bluth.
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325. Later that night, Michael was at
the hotel with his bride to be.
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326. Rita, I've been really
looking forward to this.
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327. Me, too.
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328. I want to have sexual relations.
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329. Mere fact that you call it that
tells me that you are ready.
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330. That's why I brought this.
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331. No.
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332. Why don't you go ahead and
whip out that tiny teddy,
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333. and then we're gonna think
up a fun safe word, okay?
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334. George Michael. I did
not know that you were...
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335. Um, go ahead and... talk out here.
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336. We just got back from the bumpaddle
courts. Tomorrow, I'm teaching her baseball.
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337. Yeah. That may take a while.
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338. Sorry?
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339. Well, listen, Dad, th-this is... hard
for... This is hard for me to say this...
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340. I was videotaping Rita.
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341. Let's just say it would be cute
if it was someone much younger.
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342. I'm sorry. We really
should get another tape.
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343. I mean, they're not expensive.
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344. It's the plastic fruit, Dad.
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345. It's very convincing fruit, okay?
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346. Is she going back in for another?
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347. Well, you know, they don't even
have bananas in England, okay, son?
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348. Now, I know this is hard for you, but it
would be nice to be supported in some...
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349. Oh, no, she's going into the grapes.
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350. Yeah, she really liked those.
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351. I'm sorry.
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352. I think she might be...
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353. retar... retarded.
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354. I'm sorry.
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355. I'm really sorry.
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356. Say hello to my tiny teddy.
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357. Oh! Tiny Teddy!
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358. And that's when it dawned on Michael.
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359. Oh, you teach kids, huh?
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360. Oh, I like to think they teach me.
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361. That way I can see
if you have a monster.
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362. Be careful.
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363. I've made a huge mistake.
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364. Michael had just been shown that his
fiancée might be mentally challenged,
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365. but he needed proof.
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366. Are you ready for lie
down kisses with me?
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367. Maybe we ought to just talk a little
bit, you know? I mean, what the heck.
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368. For instance, you've never told me how many
houses there are in the British Parliament.
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369. Seven.
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370. Are there?
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371. The answer is three.
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372. Does sound about right.
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373. Three is the correct answer.
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374. - Come on.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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375. Let's have our fun.
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376. Rita corny, Michael.
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377. So, Michael used a line
that was just as corny.
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378. You know, I think that we should
wait until after we're married.
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379. Married!
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380. Married, married, married!
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381. Okay, night-night.
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382. And Michael felt he deserved
a $15 thing of candy beans.
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383. The next morning, however, as Michael
prepared to let Rita down gently,
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384. - he was met with another surprise.
- Surprise!
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385. What's this?
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386. We're throwing you a wedding.
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387. Oh, how lovely!
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388. On us.
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389. Everything you see.
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390. Show them the waffle bar, Larry.
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391. It's over there.
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392. And check out banner, Michael!
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393. I'm gonna go set up.
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394. Yeah, you know, I-I was just gonna
talk to Rita about all of this.
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395. Rita, I think that we should,
um, wait a little while.
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396. Wait? Why? I don't want to wait.
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397. I want to get married
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398. and have sexual relations
like you promised.
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399. Where did you get this firecracker?
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400. I... love her, Michael.
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401. So do I. I want to kiss
my new daughter-in-law.
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402. Hey, not on our time, Larry.
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403. Right on the lips.
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404. No, no, Dad, please take it easy.
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405. I'm gonna go get my dress
from the... from the room.
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406. Yes, I'll help you put it on inside out!
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407. Let's-let's not all get, um...
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408. Hey, Mom, what-what's going on? I thought
that you guys were against all this.
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409. Well, we figured you know best, and who
are we to interfere, and you love this girl,
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410. and the rest will just be little happy
surprises along the way. Like you said.
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411. Yeah. With the exception
of the retard thing.
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412. Oh, God.
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413. Tell me you didn't just say that.
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414. You knew?
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415. You knew, and yet, you still
wanted me to go through with this?
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416. What can I say?
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417. I'm crazy about the little dullard.
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418. Oh, my God.
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419. She's rich.
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420. This is a new low, even for you, Mom.
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421. What is wrong with you?
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422. Larry go to a mirror!
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423. - You're fired.
- You're fired.
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424. What?
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425. It's over.
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426. And this is how you tell me,
in the middle of a wedding?
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427. You shouldn't have said anything.
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428. So, you were right.
Now what am I gonna do?
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429. Well, I've been thinking. You know, I mean, every
society has their own rules about this stuff.
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430. For instance, in some states, it's
legal to marry your own cousin.
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431. California's blocked it twice,
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432. but that's only because they tacked it onto
an estate law thing that wasn't gonna pass.
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433. We had the signatures...
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434. You're 16, and you know all
that. She's 30 and a half.
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435. She probably can't list the
seven Houses of Parliament.
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436. There's three.
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437. Now I got to break her heart.
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438. Well, doesn't she have to leave
the country if you don't marry her?
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439. Yeah, I guess I can keep
my promise about that, huh?
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440. There wouldn't be any real intimacy, and-and it
would be the strongest marriage in the family,
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441. but, you know, as much as I'd
like to, you can't ignore the fact
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442. that she is mentally disabled.
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443. Oh, my God.
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444. I'm wearing an inside
out bridesmaid's dress.
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445. You better catch her, Dad.
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446. That's not gonna be easy.
She's an Olympic Silver.
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447. Just figured that one out.
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448. Okay. Well, I'll have to go stop
production on The Ocean Walker.
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449. You found out.
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450. Took me long enough.
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451. Maybe you're not smart, either.
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452. I didn't know until they told me.
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453. No, I'm just a narcissist who was
too self-involved to see the truth.
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454. That makes no sense to me.
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455. Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe
I'm being too hard on myself.
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456. You know, the truth is, is that I did
just see what I wanted to see, Rita.
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457. You're so beautiful,
and you're so sweet.
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458. And you deserve to find
somebody a lot more like you.
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459. I don't think that either
of us would be happy.
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460. So, it's bye-bye to Rita, then?
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461. Unless you really want
to stay in America.
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462. I wanted to be with you.
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463. Oy, Rita!
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464. Time to go now.
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465. Back to England, love.
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466. Oh, Michael, will you
come visit me lots?
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467. That's gonna be difficult, Rita.
You're gonna be across an ocean.
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468. Well, you can always walk.
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469. Not on the water.
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470. Oh, Michael, you're such a grown-up.
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471. Hey, hey!
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472. Hang on a sec. That's
part of your trick, right?
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473. No.
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474. That's not my trick, Michael.
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475. On the next... Arrested development...
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476. It's my illusion.
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477. Michael relives a wedding nightmare.
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478. - Oh, put him out, put him out!
- My hair, my beautiful hair!
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479. Push him in the pool.
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480. Why am I not going under water?
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481. Dear God, why am I
not going under water?
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