1. This is Michael Bluth.
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2. Right now he's being honored
by his family.
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3. Three years ago I made a choice
to keep this family together.
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4. - Today, it looks like I succeeded.
- So why is this man crying?
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5. Because now he'll have to stay
with these people for a long, long time.
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6. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...
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7. and the one son who had no choice
but to keep them all together.
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8. It's Arrested Development.
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9. Days earlier, Michael awoke
to find his son in his bed.
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10. - Hey, are you scared of a monster?
- Kind of.
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11. It was the monster called lust,
to which he'd recently succumbed.
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12. And there's a chance
you might not even be related to us.
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13. And although he'd only
gotten to second base...
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14. he'd gone in head first,
like Pete Rose.
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15. Then they both got
some distressing news.
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16. And there you are, Maeby,
coming out of your mother's third base.
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17. You guys really are related.
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18. - And that night...
- You're not sleeping in here now.
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19. - You think that's a bad idea?
- What, I mean, so we can make out every night?
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20. Does that not work
for your schedule?
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21. I mean, I'm sure
we can control our...
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22. - I'm gonna go sleep with my dad.
- I'm gonna get my job back.
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23. You're probably just a little anxious
because your old man...
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24. is about to start running
a successful company for a change.
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25. So Pop-Pop is definitely
innocent, huh?
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26. No, not by a long shot...
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27. but they have dropped all the charges,
and not just the Iraq ones.
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28. The embezzlement,
the pension robbing.
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29. I don't know why they dropped them,
but they did.
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30. Let's see if we are on
Mad Money, huh?
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31. And they deliver insulin right to my door.
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32. It's probably on right after this ad.
This is gonna be great for us.
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33. It's gonna give us a chance
to spend some time together, you know?
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34. It's, like, I don't even know what's going on
in your life. Are there any girls or...
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35. Actually, I've been wrestling
with some pretty taboo...
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36. - The Bluths. I love these guys.
- Shh, here it is.
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37. They beat the treason charges.
We had it as a don't buy.
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38. Let's bump it up to a risky.
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39. Risky! There it is,
we're doing it, huh?
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40. - Are you happy?
- I'm really happy.
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41. - I wonder if we should move out of town.
- What?
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42. I feel like we've heard this whole
out of the woods thing a lot, you know.
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43. - And I just wouldn't mind... - What have
I always said is the most important thing?
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44. - Family.
- I was gonna say breakfast, but...
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45. Why don't we go over to Gangy's,
have a little of both?
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46. Later, we can talk
all this out, huh?
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47. I've heard that
a couple times too.
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48. And so the family gathered for a celebratory
brunch, catered by a local restaurant.
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49. - Hello.
- Risky! Risky! Risky!
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50. Look at that, Buster.
You would have lost a hand anyway.
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51. I'd like to make an announcement.
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52. We need to finish the party
we started three years ago.
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53. Finally name Michael CEO
of a thriving company.
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54. We'll prove to the world that nothing
can tear apart the Bluth family.
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55. In fact, I've already rented
the same boat.
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56. Oh, I'm not comfortable near the ocean
since the seal attack.
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57. - The ocean is my second biggest fear.
- Good, don't come.
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58. I need to be rubbing elbows,
not working your fork.
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59. - We'll find a new venue.
- Oh, and before I forget.
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60. No magic, Gob.
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61. Where is Gob?
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62. Oh, who knows?
I don't even know where he lives.
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63. - He doesn't live at Michael's?
- I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.
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64. Doesn't matter. Mom, I'm just
really flattered that you're willing to do this.
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65. And I was half worried that you'd all
be eager to sell your shares and cash out.
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66. We can do that?
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67. Yeah, but Stan Sitwell's always had
a wild hair to buy this business.
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68. It's the only hair
he's got. What?
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69. - He's an alpaca.
- He has alopecia.
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70. Lindsay, you know, if we did sell, it would
only mean like, what, two million dollars each.
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71. Two million! Two million!
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72. That sounds like a lot more
than it actually is.
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73. You've already spent $1,200 on eggs,
and that would be it forever.
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74. Keep in mind, we are building something
that is not only for our kids...
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75. it's also for George Michael
and Maeby's kids too.
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76. We can't have kids.
What's the matter... What are you say...
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77. - It's not even an option really.
- Eventually you'll want to.
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78. Sure, I may want to, you know, now.
It doesn't matter.
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79. Either way, I won't do
anything about it. Come on!
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80. Michael's right.
And I, for one, will not go back...
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81. to wondering whether there's going
to be enough food on the table.
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82. Might wanna start worrying about the table.
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83. It's fine for you to say, "Don't sell,"
but I'm gonna be 40 in three years, you know?
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84. You know, being twins,
our birthdays are pretty close to one another.
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85. Yeah, but a 40-year-old woman
has as much chance of getting married...
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86. as she does of getting attacked by a shark.
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87. Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were going to say seal.
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88. - Or a seal.
- Oh, God!
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89. You have nothing to worry about. You're a
beautiful woman. Any man would be lucky to have you.
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90. Michael had given this speech
many times to Lindsay.
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91. - I'm a giant fat pig.
- I don't know why you say stuff like that.
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92. Girls just grow faster than boys.
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93. Dinner's ready.
We're having Lindsay chops.
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94. What? I want her to be prepared in case
some bully at school is as clever as I am.
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95. - No bully ever would be.
- Oh, let's not forget, you're already married.
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96. - Hey, Mikey.
- Yes.
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97. I think I'm gonna
cash out myself...
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98. and maybe go down
to my little place in Cabo.
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99. What little place in Cabo, Dad? Did you build
yourself a hideout in case you needed to escape?
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100. - Of course not.
- I don't want you to worry, Dad.
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101. There's gonna be plenty of money
to be made from a business run honestly.
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102. Oh! Well, your mom's
not gonna allow for that.
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103. She'll do whatever it takes
to get her way.
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104. - You think the banana stand was our idea?
- It wasn't?
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105. It wasn't.
Although they marketed the idea better...
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106. the Frozen Banana itself
was the brainchild...
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107. of a Korean immigrant
who threatened to sue them.
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108. Your mother said she'd take care of it.
The guy was deported to Korea the next day.
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109. Where his business never recovered.
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110. You trying to tell me that all your crimes,
all your dishonesty...
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111. - she was behind it all?
- She's the queen, Michael.
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112. I was her king,
and now it's you.
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113. She may appear
all sweet and innocent and light...
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114. but she has a way
of controlling your behavior.
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115. I'm concerned about you.
Because I do not want to see...
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116. - He'll be fine.
- You'll be fine.
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117. Michael went to cancel the reservation...
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118. on the party boat
Buster so feared.
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119. - Gob!
- When he saw Gob on a party boat of his own.
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120. You might wanna untie
these ropes first.
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121. - Don't tell me how to flee, Michael.
- What are you doing here?
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122. - I kinda live here.
- Lighthouse wasn't far off.
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123. Perhaps you can tell me
how you can afford a boat.
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124. You mean on the paltry
1,500 a week you give me?
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125. I give you 500 a week.
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126. Yeah, well, somebody's drawing
a little one on those checks. No big deal.
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127. I was planning on using
my Bluth Company stock to pay for it.
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128. Sitwell's made me
a pretty nice little offer.
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129. - About that, Gob, you cannot sell now.
- I have to.
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130. Gob, you're gonna burn through this money
and have nothing, all right?
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131. You give a man a fish,
he'll eat for a night.
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132. - If you teach a man to fish...
- He'll wanna use your yacht.
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133. I don't want this thing smelling like fish.
I'm burning through my future for it.
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134. But you wouldn't understand that
because you're a robot.
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135. Although I don't suppose you'd be willing
to have the company buy it.
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136. Well, you can't let Gob sell those shares.
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137. What am I supposed to do?
He won't give up the yacht.
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138. - Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Keep your weight off it.
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139. - So lease it to him through the company.
- That just doesn't feel right.
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140. Oh, really?
How would it feel to lose the company...
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141. to a man who has less hair on his!@%$
than I have on my!@%$#.
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142. It can't be worse
than hearing that just was.
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143. I couldn't see through the glasses,
and I slid into the ladder.
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144. Give Gob the boat. We need
to show the shareholders at this party...
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145. that the family is united.
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146. It's a very small concession
to an important cause.
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147. And so Michael sold out just a little.
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148. Fine, I will give him the yacht.
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149. - Hey, Dad.
- Hey, pal.
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150. Well, you said we could talk later.
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151. - Yeah. You excited about the party?
- I actually might skip that.
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152. What are you talking about? This party
is essential for the stockholders to see.
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153. I mean, we gotta show them
how close this family really is.
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154. This was as good an opening
as George Michael was going to get.
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155. - Maeby and I made out.
- Sorry?
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156. - Me too.
- What do you mean, Son? You kissed?
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157. Even a little more than that.
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158. I thought she wasn't
my real cousin.
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159. But then Uncle Tobias showed us
these really rough pictures...
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160. that proved that she was really
Aunt Lindsay's daughter.
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161. I just feel like I can't
be around her or Aunt Lindsay.
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162. They were really rough pictures.
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163. No, I remember their birth announcement
like it was yesterday.
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164. I mean, I know it's wrong,
you know, but my feelings are real...
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165. even if it was a mistake.
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166. Well, obviously,
acting on those feelings is not an option.
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167. She's a blood relative.
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168. I know.
I've seen the blood.
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169. - How long has this been going on?
- I don't know... 53 weeks?
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170. I can't be around her
with these feelings anymore...
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171. and that's why I'm not
going to this party.
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172. And so Michael
made another compromise of his values...
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173. - for the sake of the business. - Whatever
happened to that Ann we were both so crazy about?
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174. You know, maybe you could
bring her to the party.
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175. Yeah, Ann is the girl for us.
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176. Michael's sister, meanwhile,
was doing some selling out of her own.
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177. I'm not going to sell my five percent,
even though you haven't made an offer.
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178. - Which would be how much, by the way?
- Five percent?
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179. Lucille actually gave you less
than her natural children.
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180. I hope that's not a crack about
my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth.
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181. Because at least I'm not wearing
a rayon sweater set on my face.
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182. It's alpaca actually. Cruelty-free.
Really narrows your choices.
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183. But that's not what I meant
when I said "natural child."
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184. Wait a minute.
You're saying I'm adopted?
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185. I'm sorry. I thought you knew.
Have I upset you?
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186. Are you kidding me? This is the happiest
I've been since the day I got my new nose.
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187. - I'm not a Bluth.
- You were almost a Sitwell.
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188. But 37 years ago, the Bluths
adopted you out from under us.
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189. So, we said good-bye to you,
our darling, little three-year-old.
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190. Uh, wait, three-year-old?
You said it was 37 years ago.
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191. Oh, yeah, right. Hey, we should
do something for your 40th next week.
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192. This part of the news
Lindsay didn't take that well.
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193. !@%$, let me!@%$#%!@$%#@!
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194. Get your!@%$#%!@$%#@!
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195. Be gentle, she's almost 40!
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196. Maeby, meanwhile,
had returned to Tantamount Studios...
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197. where the word was
she was to be replaced...
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198. when it was discovered
she was not the age she claimed to be.
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199. - Please don't fire me.
- Fire you? Are you kidding?
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200. I've already gotten 10 requests
for the TV rights to your story.
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201. You gotta get your family
to sign the release papers.
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202. This is the biggest thing to happen
since Uniprod hired that wee-brain...
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203. to run drama development.
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204. Michael had compromised his morals...
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205. and was having trouble sleeping.
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206. Of course, some of that
was Lindsay.
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207. - Are you drunk?
- A little. We need to talk.
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208. Yeah, I'll say.
Are you aware that your daughter...
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209. and my son
have been getting physical?
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210. I mean, can you imagine
anything more inappropriate?
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211. - Hey, I guess you can. What are you doing?
- I'm not your sister.
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212. - What? Hey, Lindsay.
- I'm adopted. And I'm three years older.
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213. - There must be some mistake.
- No, Mom confirmed it.
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214. And I know you've always
found me attractive.
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215. You've been telling me that
for the last 40 years.
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216. Please, Lindsay, this is crazy.
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217. If I don't get divorced
and remarried in the next month...
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218. I'm gonna sell those shares
and I'm gonna cash out.
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219. - So what do you say? - But even Michael
couldn't sell out that much.
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220. I'm just not that into older women.
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221. - You bastard!
- Aah!
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222. Michael had just found out his sister was adopted.
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223. And the next morning,
he awoke to a worse surprise.
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224. Oh, come on!
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225. I can't sleep
in the same room as her.
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226. She wants out of
this marriage, fine.
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227. I'm afraid I'm going to have
to sell the Bluth shares and move on.
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228. - You can't do that.
- They're my shares.
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229. No, I mean, you can't
spoon me like that.
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230. We need a new venue for the shareholders' party,
and it cannot be a boat.
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231. Now, if you can find something,
maybe I can fudge the books.
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232. Get you a Bluth Company salary, huh?
Maybe call you an events coordinator.
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233. Can we just lay here for a second
while I think about it?
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234. Michael was making
compromises all over the place.
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235. Sure.
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236. - I'll do it.
- Sounds great.
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237. Soon, George Michael
went to Ann's to try to win her back.
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238. But her Uncle Paul told him
that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend.
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239. He also mentioned that we all only
had three more weeks on Earth...
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240. and that fossils were just something
the Jews buried in 1924.
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241. And so, feeling that
he couldn't go home...
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242. George Michael decided to seek out
his own creepy uncle.
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243. And Michael confronted his mother
about the adoption.
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244. Look, she was better off with us.
He wanted to call her Nellie.
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245. Of course. Lindsay is the Nellie
from the photo.
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246. Why didn't you just tell people
she was adopted?
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247. Adopting a child we didn't want
just to stick it to a competitor?
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248. Oh, that would
make us look great.
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249. You're right, Mom. People would have
twisted that story to make you look bad.
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250. I don't see what the big deal is.
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251. We loved her just as much
as any of you normal kids. More than Gob.
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252. The big deal, Mom,
is that the family is falling apart.
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253. They're trying to sell their stock,
and I can't promise you...
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254. that I can keep everyone
together until the party.
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255. We'll pay them off.
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256. We'll call it
an accrued cash dividend.
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257. But they won't get their money
until they sign a document at the party...
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258. promising not to sell
for 10 years.
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259. So, it's embezzlement,
bribery and conspiracy?
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260. And a whole lot of love.
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261. All right, and perjury.
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262. - Oh, Michael.
- Hey. Oh!
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263. I booked a perfect location
and some wonderful performers for the party.
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264. We're having it at the Queen Mary.
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265. Queen Mary? That's a ship.
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266. Oh, no, no, no.
It's a chain of popular nightclubs.
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267. Although I haven't been
to this particular location.
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268. - It's on the Long Beach Harbor.
- That's the ship.
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269. Don't worry about it.
They've actually welded it to the dock.
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270. Although, perhaps
I should call the Hot Cops...
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271. and tell them to come up
with something more nautically themed.
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272. Hot Sailors.
Better yet, Hot Se...
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273. - I like Hot Sailors.
- Mm, me too.
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274. George Michael was about
to come across a hot seaman of his own.
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275. - Gob?
- What are you doing here? How'd you find me?
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276. My dad said that you were living
down here with your girlfriend.
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277. You know about her?
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278. - Who?
- Ann.
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279. - Her?
- Gob had been dating Ann...
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280. since he awarded her third place
in an inner beauty pageant.
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281. Since then, Ann and her friends
tried to teach Gob about the Holy Trinity.
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282. What? I thought that's what
all you guys lived for.
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283. While Gob debased everything they believed in.
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284. What about you, you game?
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285. It's really not that big of a deal,
George Michael. I'm 18 now.
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286. And besides we really haven't
even done anything.
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287. Practically nothing.
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288. But what are you gonna do?
The girl obviously needs a man.
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289. And that's when George Michael became one.
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290. Ann was upset.
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291. As was Buster when he saw
the ship where the party was to be held.
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292. And so Michael accepted his congratulations...
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293. all the while looking for his son.
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294. And Buster was approached
by his loving father.
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295. Do you think there's any chance this ship
could break away from the dock?
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296. - We're on a ship?
- Ah...
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297. Maeby was trying
to get the family to sign away...
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298. the TV rights to their life stories.
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299. TV is not as good as it used to be,
huh, Uncle Buster?
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300. But you could help me out
by signing my petition to make it better.
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301. Oh, I kind of like
Skating with Celebrities.
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302. - Excuse me. - Lucille was
trying to get signatures too.
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303. Sign here that you won't sell.
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304. Oh, I don't need to sell, Lucille...
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305. because now I know that we're not related,
I'm going to marry Michael.
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306. I always saw him
with a younger girl.
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307. And Gob, angry at Michael...
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308. - for sending his son to the docks...
- Not related?
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309. Went into a kind of
knee-jerk revenge mode.
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310. Why go for the best
when you can go for the rest...
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311. of your life with a younger man?
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312. Kitty likes to scratch.
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313. Oh, God! Mom! Mom!
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314. Take these forms
to everyone in the family...
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315. and promise them a hundred grand
if they sign.
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316. That's how Maeby found a way
to get signatures on her release forms.
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317. Well, that was a freebie.
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318. And soon, the crowd gathered to hear Michael.
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319. I just wanna say how much
this family really means to me.
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320. My father has always
been there for me.
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321. He's a great man.
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322. My brother Gob, who I know
would never do anything...
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323. to hurt anyone in this family.
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324. Except for dating his nephew's girlfriend...
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325. and hitting on his adopted sister.
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326. Buster, who faced his biggest fear
to be here today...
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327. - Second biggest.
- And my sister, Lindsay.
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328. Yes, she is my sister,
no matter what any piece of paper says.
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329. Lindsay and her husband,
Tobias, you know...
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330. deep down, they both love
each other very, very much.
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331. Most of all, my mother,
who has always believed in me.
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332. Three years ago
I made a choice...
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333. I made a choice
to keep this family together...
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334. And that's when Michael finally cried.
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335. Today, it looks like I succeeded.
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336. It wasn't exactly a turn-on.
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337. Whoo!@%$# baby.
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338. Looks like George Michael
got his mom back today, huh?
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339. Yeah, well, where is
George Michael, by the way?
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340. He came by the yacht.
Gave me this shiner.
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341. - He hit you? What for?
- You know teenagers.
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342. Probably lashing out at you
because of who I'm dating.
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343. - Who are you dating?
- Ann.
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344. - Her?
- Don't worry. I didn't fight back or anything.
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345. I was, like, "Oh, no, take the yacht.
Please don't hurt me."
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346. - Just build up the little guy's self-esteem.
- The yacht?
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347. Oh, for God's sake, Gob.
I gotta get off this ship.
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348. Mom, George Michael took off in Gob's yacht.
I gotta go find him.
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349. Well, you can't go now. That's not going
to look good in front of the investors.
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350. - Mom, this is important, okay?
- Michael!
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351. This company is important.
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352. It was at that moment that Michael realized...
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353. how much he'd sold out.
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354. Never seen a CEO cry like that before,
except at his sentencing.
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355. That's who you're putting in charge?
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356. I've made a huge mistake.
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357. Will you take the company
for 20% above market?
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358. Ten, and I'll take
the company off your hands right now.
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359. Fifteen and I'll throw in Nellie.
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360. - She's 40.
- Twelve.
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361. Meanwhile, Michael searched the harbor...
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362. and spotted the yacht.
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363. And Gob noticed something too.
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364. Are those police boats?
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365. - Oh, my God, the SEC.
- They still have boats?
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366. - Prepare to be boarded.
- Did you do this?
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367. No. But I can't help but enjoy the irony
that you might be losing three years of your life.
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368. Ah, this is why they dropped
those other charges.
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369. - You gave me up, George.
- George? I'm not George.
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370. George invited me.
Oh, stupid.
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371. Oscar, when are you going to learn
there's no such thing as free shrimp?
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372. Well, I know it was someone
in this family.
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373. Or someone who used to be.
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374. - Annyong?
- Annyong.
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375. - Annyong?
- Annyong. But my real name is...
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376. - Hello.
- Hello?
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377. - Annyong.
- What the hell did you do this for?
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378. Because my grandfather
vowed one day...
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379. he would get even
for banana stand you stole from him.
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380. It was true. Hello had gathered
information against Lucille...
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381. - Annyong?
- to avenge his grandfather.
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382. Hey, Maeby ever mention
my name?
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383. But Lucille was not going peacefully.
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384. You boys know how to shovel coal?
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385. I don't even wanna tell you
what these guys thought that meant.
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386. And Michael caught up
with his son.
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387. George Michael, what are you doing?
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388. - Where are you going?
- I can't stay here.
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389. Ann's moved on. Maeby's my cousin.
We both know that's not an option.
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390. Buddy, Maeby is not your cousin.
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391. - What?
- Yeah, I found out a couple days ago.
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392. Aunt Lindsay was adopted.
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393. Why didn't you tell me this?
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394. Because you can't be
with Maeby. You're 15.
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395. Inevitably, the relationship is gonna fall apart,
and then what do you do?
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396. She might not be a blood relative,
but she is still family...
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397. and that's a bond
that lasts forever.
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398. You don't wanna rock that boat.
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399. - What the hell was that?
- It was his mother...
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400. who moments earlier
had taken control of another queen.
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401. Full steam, boys!
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402. This is degrading.
I thought we were gonna strip.
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403. Mother!
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404. It's moving! Oh, my God!
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405. And Buster faced his second biggest fear.
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406. - I can't swim! I can't swim!
- And then his first.
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407. Oh, come on!
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408. And the two grand ladies
made their escape together.
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409. Lucille Bluth, please pull over...
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410. and step away
from the historic ship.
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411. - Gangy's trying to make a break for it.
- I guess we should go back.
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412. Family sticks together, huh?
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413. Yeah, on the other hand...
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414. we do have a full tank of gas,
a house in Cabo...
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415. and 500 grand in cashier's checks.
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416. What say we give them
no choice...
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417. but to keep themselves
all together for a while?
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418. It was Arrested Development.
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419. On the epilogue.
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420. Michael wakes up to another
strange bedfellow after his first night at sea.
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421. How was the party?
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422. And Maeby pitches
her TV show to a Hollywood icon, who says...
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423. No, I, uh...
I don't see it as a series.
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424. Maybe a movie.
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