1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...
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2. and the one son
who had no choice...
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3. but to keep them all together.
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4. It's Arrested Development.
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5. Michael Bluth was working
at home when his son made a curious request.
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6. Dad, would anyone miss this
Peter and the Wolf read-along record?
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7. No. I think that's part of
the model home decorations. Why?
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8. You're right. My girlfriend Ann wants
to have a Christian music bonfire here.
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9. That sounds like some mild fun.
I think we've got some Christmas music.
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10. Oh, no. It's not- It's not a "Christian music"
bonfire. It's a Christian "music bonfire."
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11. You know, we burn
all satanic music.
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12. The thing is, though, the only music
I have is either instructional or humor.
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13. He'd been particularly fond
of a CD of something called TheJerky Boys.
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14. Hello.
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15. Hey, nitz. Hey, jerky.
I wanna buy a house, Dad.
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16. - It's gotta be big.
- You said "Dad," buddy.
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17. Shut up, jerky.
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18. Hey, George Michael. Jesus called.
He wants your Thriller album.
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19. Yeah, I don't think the bonfire
is such a great idea.
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20. I know it might be weird,
but Ann's my girlfriend...
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21. so I think I'll go
buy some albums today.
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22. Hey, can you cover for me
at the banana stand if l-
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23. - No.
- I'll cover for you, pal.
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24. It's been a long time since I've been down
at that banana stand.
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25. Oh, okay. Good. It's the only way
we're ever gonna get it air-conditioned.
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26. Michael! How would you like
me to owe you a favor?
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27. I want you to bid on me at
the charity auction this year.
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28. Okay. Now I'd like to use up
my favor and decline.
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29. And isn't that Buster's annual job?
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30. Yes, but I can't have
a replay of last year.
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31. When Buster
inadvertently bid on Lucille 2.
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32. - $10,000!
- Buster.
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33. And you're embarrassed to have Oscar bid on you.
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34. With his two pair
of pants? You bet.
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35. Oh, hi, Mom.
I have the afternoon free.
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36. Really? Did nothing cancel?
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37. All right.
I need to borrow a fur.
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38. I thought you were antifur, Lindsay. Weren't
you protesting some hunter gun thing yesterday?
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39. I stopped by.
I hadn't chosen a side.
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40. which follows all the rules.
- Murderers! You're all murderers!
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41. There are plenty of rules
about guns already on the books.
- Murderers!
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42. You're not allowed
to sell a gun to a kid.
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43. - You're not even allowed
to fire your gun in the air-
- Is that Frank Wrench?
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44. On the Fourth ofJuly.
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45. In fact, it was People's Choice
nominated actor Moses Taylor...
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46. famous for his portrayal
of the rule-abiding detective-
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47. - Stop sign.
- Frank Wrench...
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48. star of the television show Wrench.
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49. Well, that's one rule
I'm not gonna follow.
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50. - Aah.
- That's the Second Amendment. Read it.
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51. What do you need
with one of Mom's furs?
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52. - I'm cold.
- So am I.
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53. - No.
- All right, look.
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54. I met Moses Taylor. We're having
a date in the park tomorrow.
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55. Try to get him to bid on you at the auction
tomorrow, because Michael can't.
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56. He's bidding on Mother.
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57. Except that I'm not. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go work in the banana stand.
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58. And I'm gonna see if I can get
a wrench to strip my nuts.
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59. I was trying to be sexy.
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60. It just got away from me.
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61. It's bachelorette season in Newport Beach,
and some lovely ladies are up for auction.
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62. Plus, another wolf sighting in the park.
What that means for your weekend-
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63. Bad news, Michael.
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64. I'm afraid the Blue Man Group
and I have parted ways.
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65. Seems I'm officially no longer
a standby understudy.
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66. - "Cease and desist."
- Seems they don't appreciate competition.
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67. Tobias had recently taken out an ad...
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68. in a trade magazine
for a one-man show.
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69. And the worst part is Lindsay's out there
chasing some successful actor.
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70. Television's Frank Wrench.
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71. I need to prove to her that I'm
not just a man, but a man's man.
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72. I think she knows that.
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73. Jesus! It's the wolf! That is
the wolf! The wolf is upstairs!
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74. I think it's just my son's
Peter and the Wolf record.
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75. I thought that was a Homefill.
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76. Michael went
to check on his fugitive father...
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77. - who was living in the attic.
- You heard my call?
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78. Have you been doing that all over town?
Because people think there's a wolf on the loose.
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79. Yes, there is a wolf on the
loose. His name is Oscar.
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80. Tell me he's not gonna be bidding on your
mother at that charity auction with my money.
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81. Is that why you called me
up here, Dad?
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82. Because you are a fugitive, and as far
as she knows, you're in another country.
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83. It's driving me crazy.
They're parading in public.
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84. My back is-is- it's in knots.
I haven't had a massage since prison.
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85. Hope that was forced.
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86. But then I found a way to fix my back
in this old catalog. Look at this hot tub.
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87. I could use it for so many things.
It could be my, you know, water supply.
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88. And those, uh, premade boil-in-bag meals-
You just toss those in there.
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89. - You're not getting a hot tub.
- Come on. Please!
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90. Dad, please. We can't afford that.
We're in this mess because of you.
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91. I'm working at the banana stand
just so we don't lose a shift.
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92. - But-
- We're done pampering ourselves in this family.
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93. Yeah, I would like the biggest
air-conditioner you've got.
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94. No, no, not tomorrow.
I need-
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95. I need it today.
I'm not here tomorrow.
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96. Just then, Michael ran into
a woman whom he hadn't seen in years.
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97. - Michael?
- Sally Sitwell.
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98. Michael had always
been in love with Sally Sitwell.
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99. - We could steal a golf cart.
- No, they keep 'em locked up.
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100. - I know, 'cause I have a key.
- I'll go get my sweater.
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101. Oh, so you wanna use the key.
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102. But his father had
a longtime competition with her father.
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103. It looks like my boy is gonna be
sticking it to your daughter, Sitwell.
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104. Stick it to her.
Stick it to her.
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105. As a result,
Michael was awkward around her.
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106. Should we go or... stick around?
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107. No, we're not gonna be sticking anything.
Not-Not gonna stick a thing.
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108. Since then, he'd always been
eager to show her that he'd become a man.
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109. - Are you still working here?
- No, no, no. Filling in for my son.
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110. Michael, and- Wow.
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111. - Sally Stickwell.
- Right.
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112. Because the guys
wanted to stick it to me.
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113. - What? No.
- I never-
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114. - Michael used to say that.
- No, I didn't.
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115. - You said other stuff.
- I absolutely did not say that.
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116. - Man, he loved you.
- So, Gob, tell me-
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117. are you still doing
your little tricks?
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118. Do you consider this
to be a little trick?
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119. Oh. Did you just
squirt me with something?
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120. It's lighter fluid.
Didn't put in a new flint.
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121. But still, where did
the lighter fluid come from?
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122. - That's- great.
- Michael, maybe I'll see you over at the club.
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123. We never really took
that cart ride, did we?
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124. And we never will,
'cause I'm not there.
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125. - Nor am I here. I mean, I'm here today.
- I'm gonna go.
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126. - Okay.
- Okay.
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127. Smooth, Michael...
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128. like her father's head,
chest, arms, legs and ass.
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129. - What are you talkin' about?
- He's hairless, Michael. It's a condition.
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130. I hate the guy, but at least he's got-
Satiny and smooth probably.
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131. I'm just different
than you, Gob.
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132. I'm not gonna siphon gas out of some girl's
car like you used to in high school...
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133. just so you can show up
and say, "Car troubles?"
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134. It's called taking advantage.
It's what gets you ahead in life.
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135. Like you did with our biggest
shareholder, Lucille Austero.
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136. That was a one-time thing,
Michael. It's over.
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137. It was far from over.
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138. - Shall I put the Posturepedic in the down position?
- Elevate the knees this time.
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139. You just let Sally Sitwell slip away
right when she was ready to go.
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140. - You were scared.
- What are you talking about?
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141. Come on.
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142. You gonna get off and do
your little dance too?
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143. No, l-I hurt my ankle yesterday
shooting hoops or something.
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144. Oh, God. My ankle.
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145. - Don't move. Let me-
- No, no, no. It's bad.
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146. - Mother! Mother!
- Buster, it hurts.
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147. Michael decided
that perhaps he should go after Sally.
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148. Have you seen
my other pair of pants?
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149. Lupe washed them, and they
sprouted. I threw them out.
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150. Well, that puts a lot
of pressure on this pair.
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151. I think this one's good.
Looks like it would've put up a fight.
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152. - I put up one to get it.
- As long as it gets Frank Wrench to bid on me.
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153. - It won't.
- Hey, Mom.
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154. I need to borrow
your country club card.
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155. There's a friend I have that has lunch
there often I'd like to run into.
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156. Sounds like you're asking
for a favor.
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157. - I know what that's gonna cost me.
I'm willing to bid on you.
- I'll give you the money.
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158. Start at five grand. If there are
other bidders, back off gracefully.
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159. Shout out, "I get her 364 days
a year for free!" or something.
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160. You're not gonna hear
that phrase.
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161. Soon, Tobias came across
a flyer that promised to improve...
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162. both his masculine self-image
and his financial standing.
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163. They're literally blue, not sad.
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164. Meanwhile, Michael went to
have his accidental encounter with Sally...
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165. - but had forgotten about the
club's dress code for lunch.
- We have a dress code.
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166. I can't wear this.
I look like I'm 16.
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167. - Michael?
- Oh, no.
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168. - Hello, Michael.
- Stan.
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169. - Hello, Sally.
- Hi. So, are you meeting someone here for lunch?
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170. No. I was going to, then they canceled.
So I'm gonna take off.
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171. - No. Just join us, please.
- Michael knew he couldn't say no...
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172. - but he also knew he couldn't
flirt in front ofher father.
- Let's do it.
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173. And at another table,
Gob was being taken out to lunch.
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174. Read me the appetizers again.
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175. Fried cheese with club sauce.
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176. Popcorn shrimp with club sauce.
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177. Chicken fingers-
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178. Oh, stop it.
You're making me dizzy.
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179. With spicy club sauce.
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180. No! I mean stop it.
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181. - Gob?
- Michael.
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182. - Why don't you join us?
- Oh, no.
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183. - I'm just helping her eat.
- Oh, if you'd prefer privacy-
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184. What? No. Are you kidding? I didn't even
wanna have lunch with her in the first place.
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185. I just- or- I ju-
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186. And so lunch continued
with both Bluth boys trying to prove...
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187. they weren't interested in the
women they were interested in.
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188. When I saw those golf carts,
it kind of brought back some memories.
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189. Did you have too much club sauce
on your calamari?
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190. Gob, read me the desserts.
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191. She p-
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192. probably forgot
her old lady glasses.
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193. What is the matter
with you, Goby?
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194. I'm happy to read to the lovely lady.
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195. An assortment
of ice creams and sorbets.
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196. - You all right with him reading to your girl?
- Not my girl.
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197. - Huh?
- Why don't you read to your girl?
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198. Come on. I don't have
a girl. No, thanks.
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199. - Already taken care of. Thank you. Thanks.
- I'm sorry.
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200. Apparently there's been some
increased activity on your card.
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201. It's been declined.
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202. In fact, the increased activity
on Michael's card was his father's.
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203. You think a hot tub is the best thing
for someone with your condition?
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204. I can't see, but, uh, I didn't know
there was a doctor installing this.
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205. Somebody order a case
of Bag & Boil frozen dinners?
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206. - I'm happy to get this.
- No, no. No, please, Stan. I'll do it. Um-
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207. Can you put this on my mother's card?
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208. Your mother? No. No, no, no.
She's a pool member only.
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209. You'll excuse me
if my tone is not polite...
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210. but this is more polite
than she has ever talked to me.
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211. Michael had a feeling
why his credit card had been rejected.
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212. What the hell did you do?
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213. I overdid it.
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214. Oh, it's so hot.
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215. Michael's father had just
installed a hot tub in the attic.
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216. - What happened to you?
- I tried to drink some of the water...
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217. and it was too hot,
and it tasted like soy sauce.
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218. I think the teriyaki chicken burst.
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219. That's why people typically don't cook
in these things or install them in attics.
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220. You gotta get it out of here,
Mikey. My eyes, they're burning.
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221. Wanna thank you for charging it
to my credit card.
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222. You made me look very foolish
in front of Sally Sitwell.
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223. - Did you stick it to her?
- No, I didn't.
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224. You screwed that up, just like
you screwed up this hot tub.
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225. Is that veal Marsala
stuck in the intake?
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226. They all look so good
on the boxes.
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227. You know, it's good
you backed off Sally.
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228. I don't need that guy saying his
daughter's sticking it to my loser son.
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229. You know something? The reason I never went
after her is because you're always pushing me.
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230. But now that I know that I don't have
your approval, l-I think that, uh...
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231. I think that I'll
finally go for it.
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232. This isn't turning into
the party hangout I hoped.
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233. - Hey.
- Hey, I thought I heard something before...
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234. like a wolf drowning
or something.
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235. I think that that was
maybe the house settling.
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236. Speaking of settling, how's Ann?
I mean, have you-
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237. have you settled on an
artist's work to burn?
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238. - I was thinking Eminem for a while.
- Sure.
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239. But everyone is gonna be burning
Eminem. So, you know-
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240. And then I got this Pat Boone
album, but the guy is Christian.
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241. But, you know, I don't know.
Somebody's gotta burn, right?
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242. - Well, I guess.
- Right.
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243. - Hey.
- Oh, boy. I got some looks
on the bus 'cause of this.
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244. What are you doing
with that thing?
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245. I am going to catch that wolf, Michael. I'm
gonna shoot it with this tranquilizer gun...
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246. get the reward, and bid on my
woman at the charity auction.
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247. Isn't there some kind of a waiting period
for a rifle like that?
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248. It turns out there is.
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249. Two weeks?
Isn't there a loophole?
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250. There is a gun show loophole.
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251. What timing, huh? I mean, right
out back they were having one.
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252. Gob, I'm going hunting
for my wife.
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253. How lame was Lucille 2 at lunch, huh?
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254. You've gotten attached, haven't you?
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255. You're not gonna tell
anybody about this, are you?
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256. Come on. I'm not one to judge.
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257. Every time I've gone out with Sally,
I've looked like I'm 12 years old.
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258. But, yes, I probably will
tell people about this.
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259. Maybe we can strike up a deal. You keep
this to yourself, I help you get Sally.
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260. Siphon a little
something from her car...
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261. you show up in the Corvette,
looking like a man.
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262. Car troubles?
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263. Probably shouldn't do the fireball
when you siphon the gas.
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264. I guess this flint's still got
a little life left in it, huh?
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265. Lindsay, meanwhile, was waiting
in the park for her date with Moses Taylor.
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266. Sorry I'm late. Fans.
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267. Sometimes it takes a while to jar their memories.
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268. Nice fur. You know, there are some nuts out
there who'd wanna throw red paint all over you.
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269. Wait a minute. I think
there's one right over there.
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270. - Oh, my God. You're-
- Someone needs to read this.
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271. And that's when Lindsay's heel went out.
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272. - I got him.
- False alarm.
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273. Crap.
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274. - I'm being saved by Frank Wrench.
- No, you're not.
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275. - Frank Wrench.
- Shut up.
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276. But, unbeknownst
to Lindsay and Tobias-
- Oh, shoot.
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277. - Oh, great.
- the actor who played Frank Wrench
wasn't saving her...
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278. but was just trying
to distance himself...
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279. from the outlandish "Moses
Taylor Hunts People'scandal...
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280. that had been started
by a rabid anti-gun fanatic.
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281. And that night,
Michael went to help Sally...
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282. with the car problems
Gob had created.
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283. What the hell?
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284. Only to find out
things had gotten out ofhand for Gob.
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285. Michael did look heroic as
he went to put out the fire.
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286. Unfortunately, Sally arrived
too late to see him that way.
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287. God, what happened?
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288. Car trouble.
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289. Gob had just blown up a car.
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290. The next thing I know,
I'm running for my life.
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291. And all I could think was, if something
were to ever happen to me...
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292. how sad I'd be, you know?
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293. What you did to me at lunch today-
You were ashamed to be with me.
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294. No! I was ashamed to be seen
with you. I like being with you.
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295. I'm sorry,
but you have no courage.
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296. How can you say that? Shh.
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297. I thought I heard my mom.
How can you say that?
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298. - And on the other side of the wall-
- Michael?
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299. Lucille was finalizing
her plans for the evening.
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300. You can bid up to 10,000.
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301. The deal is off. You didn't
tell me it was a restricted membership.
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302. Find somebody else
to do your bidding.
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303. There is no one else.
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304. - Hi.
- Hi.
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305. - They said I could see you finally.
- Yes.
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306. God, I just feel awful
for whoever's car that was.
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307. Mm-hmm. I know it.
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308. Sally, I was thinking that maybe you
and I could-
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309. Don't try to talk. I have to run anyway.
I gotta do this charity auction thing.
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310. I'm sorry, sir. Your Blue Cross Blue Shield
was denied. We've called your mother.
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311. I'll be back. I'll check
on you later. Feel better.
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312. Go out sometime.
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313. Michael decided
to bid on her at the auction...
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314. and he knewjust where he
could get the money to do so.
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315. Yeah. Start draining
the hot tub. It's going back.
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316. And Lucille, with no other prospects...
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317. turned to the son she least
expected to support her.
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318. Gob, I don't suppose I could pay you
to bid on me at a charity auction.
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319. And Gob was just
depressed enough to do so.
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320. - Whatever you want.
- Oh, goody.
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321. And finally, George Michael and Ann's...
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322. Christian music bonfire was under way.
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323. - Without ever going to the gym.
- I can't believe how many
people you told about this.
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324. Yeah, I hope I didn't confuse people
by saying it was a CD burning party.
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325. Great party!
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326. Maeby, I burned like 10 CD's
from somebody's MP3 player.
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327. This is a disaster.
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328. Maybe you shouldjust try
listening to some of the music.
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329. Yeah, some of the artists
are kind of talented.
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330. I don't know if you've heard of The
Jerky Boys. They do prank phone calls.
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331. It's kind of old school, but-
I have the tape in my room.
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332. I accidentally didn't burn it yet.
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333. - Meanwhile, the auction began.
- Next up...
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334. we've got last year's
charity case, Lindsay Fünke.
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335. - Lindsay showed up-
- Oh, no. Not again.
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336. although she was still
feeling the effects of the tranquilizer.
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337. - Hundred dollars, folks?
- Stick a wrench in me. I'm done.
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338. - Anybody got 50?
- My wife is humiliated.
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339. This is my chance to right
the small wrong that I did.
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340. You shot her in the ass with about
four ounces of horse tranquilizer.
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341. I haven't been the perfect husband.
Yes, I admit that.
- Twenty?
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342. But now is my chance to be a hero.
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343. - Please, Michael, give me some of your money.
- Ten?
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344. - Does anybody have 10?
- I've got $5,000, and I need that for Sally...
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345. - but if you wanna make a low bid-
- Five thousand dollars.
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346. For that? Sold.
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347. I think you overpaid.
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348. George Michael's
prospects were also improving...
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349. - as the two made prank phone calls together.
- Let me try.
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350. - Hey, rubberneck.
- Ann...
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351. could you and George Michael please
call someone else for a little while?
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352. - He knows it was us.
- What?
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353. We finally got a good
one comin'up.
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354. Sally Sitwell. What do I hear?
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355. - Five hundred dollars.
- You're not bidding? I was hoping you would.
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356. - Six hundred!
- You were?
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357. You're a good kid.
You always have been.
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358. Not like that showboat of a father
of yours, if you don't mind me saying.
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359. - Seven hundred!
- I've called him so much worse.
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360. The truth is, sir,
I am interested...
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361. but I don't have the money
to buy your daughter.
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362. - You sure do drive a nice car.
- Eight hundred.
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363. And I need one.
Mine got torched today.
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364. One thousand!
Drop it off when you drop
my daughter off tonight.
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365. And finally, with
both the approval of Sally's father...
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366. and the lack of approval of his own,
Michael was ready to make his move.
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367. - 15,000.
- What?
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368. - Wow.
- Yeah.
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369. I gotta tell ya.
This puts a lot of pressure on me.
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370. - It's for a good cause.
- I heard it was to reseed the greens.
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371. Gonna be a lot of shifts for you
at the banana stand, huh?
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372. I should be honest with you.
I don't have that much money...
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373. - and I sold the Corvette to cover it.
- That's quick. To who?
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374. - Your father, as a matter of fact.
- My father?
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375. - Yeah.
- My father can't drive a convertible.
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376. Mind if I open it up?
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377. Wow!
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378. - Got some pickup.
- This is just like him.
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379. He always interferes
with everyone I date.
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380. Well, you can tell him
to give you your car back.
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381. - But I bought you.
- I'm sorry. I'm not like you.
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382. I'd almost rather date someone
my father doesn't approve of.
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383. Thanks anyway.
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384. That-That-That is like me.
That's exactly like me!
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385. And soon it was time
for Gob to bid on his mother.
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386. Not all bad. The only one bidding
on Lucille 2 is that hairless Sitwell.
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387. Seven right there. Eight.
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388. - Sitwell's bidding on Lucille 2?
- Nine.
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389. First he fires me,
then he steals my-
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390. - Going once-
- mother's best friend.
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391. Going twice.
Nine going twice.
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392. - $10,000.
- Oh, how grand.
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393. Sold. Up from $800
to $ 10,000.
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394. Wow. You guys really
want a new golf course.
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395. And all from nonmembers.
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396. On the next Arrested Development.
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397. George Sr. Shows up to bid on Lucille.
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398. But the sound of his wolf call...
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399. and the smell of chicken
teriyaki interfere.
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400. No, no, no, no.
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401. No. Oh.
Oh. Oh, no.
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