1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...
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2. and the one son
who had no choice...
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3. but to keep them all together.
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4. It's Arrested Development.
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5. Michael Bluth was at home
working on a plan to save the company.
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6. How's this for a business model?
We make the company look like it's in the black...
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7. by starting construction
on the phase two development.
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8. I know what you're thinking,
we're not in the black.
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9. How're we gonna build 30 houses without
any money? We don't. We build one-
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10. then we have a huge ribbon-cutting ceremony
while raising funds for the others.
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11. Michael's father always
unveiled his construction projects...
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12. with a highly publicized
ribbon-cutting ceremony.
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13. He even did so
for the prison he built...
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14. and, somewhat ironically,
would later occupy.
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15. The only difference is this time
I get to cut the ribbon. What do you think?
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16. There's a cream
with real diamonds in it.
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17. I can actually smear diamonds on my face,
and it's only $400 a tub.
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18. That's like, what, like
a million diamonds for $400?
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19. - Mm.
- A million- diamonds.
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20. - Okay.
- Is she on you about that diamond cream?
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21. My husband's jealous because since
we decided to have an open marriage...
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22. I've been doing
a little better than he has.
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23. It is not a competition, Lindsay.
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24. We are doing this
to save our marriage.
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25. But I should be telling you that I have
been meeting my fair share of groupies.
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26. Or should I say "Bluepies"?
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27. Tobias had recently
auditioned as an understudy...
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28. for the silent performance
art trio, the Blue Man Group.
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29. And this is "Kids" from Bye, Bye, Birdie.
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30. He had yet to hear back from them.
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31. You guys really think you have the guts to go
through with this "seeing other people" thing?
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32. In fact, neither Lindsay nor
Tobias did have the guts to go through with it.
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33. - I already have.
- I have too.
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34. Can I buy you a drink?
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35. No.
- Lindsay, because
she'd lost her self-confidence.
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36. I'd like to buy you a drink.
Where's she going?
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37. And Tobias, because
he was busy keeping an eye on Lindsay.
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38. Who are you gonna bring
to this ribbon-cutting dance?
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39. It's not a dance, and you don't need a date.
Although, George Michael...
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40. I'd love for you to come with me
when I cut the ribbon at the new house.
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41. Oh, wow.
Hey, can I bring Ann?
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42. Who?
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43. Ann. You know, she's- she's the girl
I'm kinda hanging out with.
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44. - I haven't met Ann.
- Yes, you have.
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45. - Michael had met Ann.
- You let her in.
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46. See, that's her right over there.
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47. - Oh, Ann. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Yeah.
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48. I know Ann. Hey, you!
She's got a little hard-boiled egg going there.
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49. Oh, it's so cute. She sometimes takes
a little pack of mayonnaise...
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50. and she'll squirt it in her mouth,
and then she'll take an egg...
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51. and kind of- mmm.
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52. She calls it a mayonn-egg.
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53. - Are you okay?
- I don't feel so good.
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54. You know, I kind of wanna
buy her a diamond.
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55. - Her?
- Ann.
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56. I know I can't afford it, but Aunt Lindsay
was telling me about this diamond cream.
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57. George Michael, um, I'm sure that Egg is
a very nice person. I just don't want you spending-
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58. - It's Ann. Her na-
- all your money getting her
all glittered up for Easter.
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59. You know? More importantly,
I want us to do this together.
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60. Kinda like a father-son
sort of thing, you know?
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61. And since Pop-Pop is no longer president,
we get to do it.
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62. - I thought Gob was president.
- Yeah, and I don't have any problem with that.
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63. In fact,
since Michael's father escaped from prison...
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64. his brother Gob had been made president,
albeit in name only.
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65. Which is why Michael was surprised
when he got to work the next day.
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66. - You're still in my office.
- Gosh, Michael, I am kind of the president.
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67. And I have no problem with that.
But it is just a title, remember?
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68. Just doing this to appease the stockholders,
while they scrutinize me for Dad's crimes.
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69. Hey, Dad may have illegally built some homes
in Iraq, which is kinda not cool.
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70. I know, but that's why
I've got a business model...
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71. that I think is going
to restore the image of our company.
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72. We're going to build
a second model home.
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73. That's great.
Can I announce it to the board?
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74. Gee, it is my business model.
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75. If you had a business model, then by all means,
go in there and do your little dance.
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76. Tell you what we're gonna do.
Rock, paper, scissors for it.
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77. - No, no, I'm not interested in doing-
- One, two, three.
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78. - Paper covers rock.
- It is a rock though. It should beat everything.
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79. There's not a lot of logic to it. It's like
on a boat with "Women and children first."
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80. Why should they-which, before I forget,
I'm buying a company boat.
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81. Sorry?
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82. That morning, Gob had gone to a
boat show, where he saw something he wanted.
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83. - Hello.
- Hi.
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84. - What a beauty.
- Thank you.
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85. - I meant you.
- Well.
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86. Gob flirted with her
for a while, and finally asked for her number.
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87. - Let's get some digits.
- I'm sorry. I don't give it out without a firm offer.
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88. Oh, I'll make you a firm offer.
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89. Unfortunately, she wasn't flirting.
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90. And here again, please.
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91. - The Seaward.
- You're not getting a boat.
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92. - One, two, three.
- No, not gonna do it.
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93. - Paper covers rock.
- Fine. But rock sinks boat.
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94. - Michael?
- Mom, I'm right in the middle of something.
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95. - Get rid of the Seaward.
- I'll leave when I'm good and ready.
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96. It's about your Uncle Oscar.
I want him to move in with you.
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97. You're not kicking him out
already, are you?
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98. Michael's uncle
had recently moved into Lucille's apartment...
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99. where they quickly rekindled
a long-dormant romance.
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100. - It was a secret she hoped to keep-
- Oscar, we'll be heard.
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101. - and he didn't.
- That's what makes it so hot.
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102. Mother?
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103. Mother!
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104. - I heard zoo noises.
- It's nothing. Go back to bed.
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105. So, everybody's still up, huh?
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106. It's not fair to Buster.
He's a nervous wreck right now.
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107. He's going into the army,
for God's sake.
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108. You volunteered him.
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109. I knew you were going to
throw that in my face.
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110. Don't worry about it, okay?
They're never gonna take him anyway.
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111. At that moment, Buster was taking
his physical at the recruitment center.
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112. I don't have a hole in my heart.
I've never opened my eyes underwater.
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113. My-
Reproductive organ...
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114. is shaped like-
a lobster tail...
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115. but without its shell, hmm?
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116. Oh, I guess I have the panic attacks
under control.
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117. Oh, and I'm legally blind at night.
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118. But Buster had miscalculated
the army's current need for personnel.
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119. Okay, then, let's get you fitted
for a uniform.
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120. What? What?
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121. Hey, why don't you volunteer Oscar?
That would solve both of your problems.
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122. He'd never cut his hair.
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123. That hair.
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124. Listen, Oscar's your problem. I'm taking care
of everything else in this family...
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125. including starting construction
on a second model home.
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126. We're having
a ribbon-cutting ceremony.
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127. We can't have a ribbon-cutting
without your father, and he's God knows where.
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128. George Sr. Was in Mexico...
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129. with his escape accomplice
and ex-secretary, Kitty.
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130. I keep eating so many eggs. It must be
my unconscious desire to have a baby.
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131. Oh, my God. Can you even imagine how cute
the combination of the two of us would be?
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132. I mean, we're all out of
"prophylacticos" anyway.
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133. Somebody used the last two on his feet
to walk across the bathroom floor.
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134. But he was growing tired
of their confined intimacy.
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135. - I've made a huge mistake.
- Hey, it's me.
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136. - Dad?
- Yeah. Listen, I gotta make this quick.
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137. You're the only one who can save the family,
but you gotta keep the company strong...
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138. because I'm gonna need
some of that money later.
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139. I will, Dad. It's funny,
after all these years of...
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140. - you making fun of me for the magic shows and-
- Gob!
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141. Oh, for God's- I called to talk to Michael,
you horse's-
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142. - Gob was hurt.
- Bye, Pop.
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143. Hey, whoa, whoa, was that Dad?
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144. Yeah, I had to, uh, jump off.
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145. You just had Dad on the phone?
Where was he?
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146. No way to tell, really.
Portugal.
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147. - Down South America way.
- Well, did he wanna talk to me?
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148. No, he wanted to talk
to the president.
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149. - I have no problem with that.
- Michael was also hurt.
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150. And George Sr.
Was brutally hurt...
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151. when he was mistaken
for his twin brother Oscar.
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152. Marijuana? No, no.
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153. That's my brother.
"Brothero. Brothero."
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154. That night, Lindsay headed to the club...
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155. to try again to meet someone.
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156. Soon, having struck out again,
she spotted a man who looked interesting.
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157. He had the lean look,
effortless hair...
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158. and dressed-down manner
of a movie star.
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159. - Buy me a drink?
- I think the bar's closing.
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160. I know a place.
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161. It was at that point
that Lindsay had a startling revelation.
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162. Uh, uh, uh, you get out.
Get out. Get out. Out, out, out!
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163. - No homeless in here!
- Homeless? You're homeless?
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164. You're gross. Oh, God.
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165. They're taking me in the army. They didn't
think there was enough wrong with me.
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166. Well, did they check everything?
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167. Yes. They even touched my Charlie Browns.
You lied to me.
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168. - You said I wasn't fit to serve.
- Okay, hold on.
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169. Let's calm down, people.
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170. Um, I think I know a little bit
about avoiding combat duty.
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171. Now which pinkie do you use less?
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172. Are you nuts? Do you know
what I went through to have this boy?
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173. Oh, I know where the boy came from.
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174. Wait.
Why were you in the pantry?
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175. And Lucille realized
it was time to end...
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176. whatever it was
she had with Oscar.
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177. So, I believe it's a good plan.
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178. The next day, Michael was ready to wow
the board with his new business model.
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179. As I told my brother,
the president...
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180. if we start construction
on a second model home...
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181. we can be cutting this ribbon
within two months.
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182. I said, "That's why you're
no longer president."
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183. Two weeks.
Let's do it in two weeks. Hey!
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184. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Can we stop the music?
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185. I'm not as optimistic that we can get that done.
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186. Gob, I think we both agree
that we would do things your way...
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187. if you had a business model.
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188. Do you have
a business model, Gob?
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189. I am so happy
that you asked me that, Michael...
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190. because I just happen
to have a business model right here.
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191. Solid as a rock
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192. Meet Starla, the new Bluth Company
business model...
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193. for our phase two campaign.
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194. Solid as a rock.
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195. We'll see you at the ribbon-cutting
in two weeks...
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196. if my brother doesn't
screw it up first.
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197. - Hey!
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198. Gob had committed Michael
to building a model home in two weeks.
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199. We can't build a house in two weeks.
Also, I'm not sure how "Solid as a Rock"...
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200. helps people forget the fact
that we built houses in Iraq.
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201. - I love that.
- But you probably know best
because you're president.
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202. We don't have to build
a real house, Michael.
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203. Like you said, it's all for appearances anyway.
We throw up a couple of walls.
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204. - We build a fake one.
- What are you talking about?
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205. Nothing on the inside.
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206. I'll never get a crew to build it.
They'd lose their licenses.
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207. Then you build it
yourself, damn it!
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208. Hey, there she is,
my little business model.
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209. Sorry about that
"build it yourself' crap.
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210. I might take her
to the ribbon-cutting.
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211. - You end up finding a date yet?
- No.
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212. As Michael grew frustrated
by his relationship with Gob...
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213. Lucille tried to end hers
with Oscar.
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214. - I want you out of the house.
- Oh, I want you everywhere.
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215. Oscar, no. I can't have this in my life
anymore. I'm a married woman.
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216. Lucille, you wanna leave?
I won't chase after you.
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217. But before you do, ask yourself,
"Where's your husband?"
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218. Because I am here. I am real.
I am flesh and blood.
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219. And hair.
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220. Oh, God, that hair.
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221. What will people say?
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222. They'll say,
"Those people are in love."
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223. That night, the evening news
report said something very different.
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224. Lucille Bluth, caught on tape
breathing life into a homeless man.
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225. The surprising home video
at 10:00.
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226. And Michael prepared to build a house.
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227. Two weeks?
But what if my date's not available?
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228. I'm trying to get a last-minute crew together.
Your inability to get a man interested...
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229. - is not at the top of my list.
- Oh, I've got a man interested, Michael.
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230. - What's wrong with him?
- There's nothing wrong with him.
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231. He is homeless.
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232. Well, I didn't know
he was homeless at the time.
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233. - It was humiliating.
- Is this about Gangy's homeless guy?
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234. - Gangy's homeless guy?
- Yeah, it's all over the news.
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235. Gangy gave C.P.R.
To a homeless guy on the beach.
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236. Lindsay felt respect for her mother...
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237. and decided that perhaps she could overcome
her pride and help someone too.
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238. I've got someone for your crew, Michael.
My boyfriend, the homeless guy.
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239. I wonder if he even has an apartment or-
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240. - Hello.
- Did you see the news?
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241. Your Uncle Oscar forced himself on me
at the beach today...
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242. - and I didn't have my horn.
- Of course.
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243. It was Uncle Oscar. Mom,
you're not having an affair with him, are you?
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244. You're building a house?
I want you to give it to him.
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245. - It's not a real house.
- Perfect. He's not a real man.
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246. And George Sr.
Made his case to the Mexican police.
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247. My God, I was beaten up here. I'm telling you.
I'm George. I'm not Oscar. I'm George.
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248. - The Cornballer.
- Ssí. The Cornballer.
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249. George Sr. Had marketed
a device called the Cornballer in Mexico...
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250. after the severe burns
it caused led to it being banned in the U.S.
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251. - Why, did you have one?
- Ssí.
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252. Lindsay, meanwhile,
was having trouble finding her homeless man.
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253. - He looked like a movie star.
- The man looked like a movie star
because he was a movie star.
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254. His name was Tom Jane, and he was making
two movies for a major studio.
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255. One was a gritty personal project
about a junkie's life...
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256. which he got to do
in exchange for making...
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257. a rigidly, formulaic popcorn movie.
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258. - He was living on the streets, researching his role.
- Hey, homeless guy.
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259. - Hey.
- I'm not proud of the way...
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260. I was so grossed out when I found out
you were gross before.
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261. You really thought
I was gross, huh?
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262. Well, at first, I thought you were kind of hot,
but I hadn't looked closely enough.
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263. Listen, I have
a construction job for you.
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264. And if you clean yourself up, who knows?
You might actually get a date out of this.
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265. - Okay.
- See ya.
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266. Okay, we've all made some sacrifices to be here,
but we all want the same thing.
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267. - I wanna live here.
- I wanna buy Ann some diamond dust.
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268. I'm just hoping to get mildly injured,
so I can get out of the army.
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269. Bottom line is we've got two weeks
to build a house.
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270. It doesn't have to be good.
It just has to look good.
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271. I just want my kids back.
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272. And so, the guys went to work.
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273. Things didn't go smoothly at first.
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274. Buster looked for ways
to hurt himself.
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275. But soon the project came together-
when Gob stopped by.
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276. Now we're building a house.
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277. - Yeah, I'm pretty proud-
- So, what do you think? Did I do this or what?
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278. Seems like your brother did it.
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279. My brother does what I tell him to do.
I'm the president.
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280. Where's your "P"?
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281. What?
Oh, no, not again.
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282. I got it.
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283. Hey, sorry for the "my brother does
what I tell him to do" crap...
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284. but I want this to be perfect
for when I cut the ribbon tomorrow.
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285. You're cutting the ribbon?
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286. I kinda thought
that since I built it...
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287. - I might go ahead and give it a-
- Yeah, okay.
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288. Can you imagine how
that would look to the board?
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289. The construction worker cutting the ribbon.
No, no, that's a job for the president.
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290. Michael had a problem with that.
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291. - Gob had taken away something
Michael always wanted.
- You got the "P."
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292. Now it was Michael's turn
to take something from Gob- Starla.
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293. And later, Michael
set about his plan.
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294. Gob, do you have
Starla's phone number?
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295. I got a few business things
I'd like to go over with the business model.
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296. Guess who was just over her?
Don't, I'll tell you- me.
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297. - Hmm?
- L- the business model.
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298. Actually, they just made out.
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299. Yeah, she had
all kinds of orgasms.
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300. Imagine that. I finally nailed
somebody that you weren't after.
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301. That's it. I've worked too hard and too long
for you to keep getting all the credit.
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302. I built that company, that house,
and I'm gonna be cutting the ribbon...
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303. whether we're all pretending
that you're president or not.
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304. Yeah, sure.
I just wanted-
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305. - You just wanted what?
- I just wanted you to be impressed with me.
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306. Dad never was.
Never said a nice thing about me.
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307. He called you the other day.
He didn't even wanna talk to me.
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308. Of course he did!
He never wants to talk to me. He never has.
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309. - Cut the ribbon.
- Really?
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310. - Yeah. How about that?
- Michael.
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311. I have no problem with it.
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312. - All right? Take it easy. Come on.
- Thank you.
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313. The next day, the Bluth family
prepared to unveil phase two.
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314. Have you seen your Uncle Gob around?
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315. No. And I can't find that diamond dust
that Aunt Lindsay bought for me.
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316. Oh, well, your Aunt Lindsay has probably taken it.
She's just a taker.
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317. This is your chance, huh?
With the big ribbon-cutters after all these years?
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318. Well, actually, I figured,
give Gob a chance, you know?
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319. The guy doesn't get
a whole lot of attention in this family.
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320. Ladies and gentlemen, the president
of the Bluth Company, Gob Bluth.
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321. My brother wasn't optimistic
it could be done.
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322. But I didn't take "wasn't optimistic
it could be done"...
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323. for an answer.
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324. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you
phase two of the Bluth Company.
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325. A house truly solid as a rock.
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326. But as it turns out...
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327. Michael was right to not be optimistic
it could be done.
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328. And Buster
saw the chance to get injured enough...
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329. to keep him out of the army.
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330. But instead...
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331. - got a glimpse inside.
- I can't look at that.
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332. Unfortunately, Tobias had to.
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333. I got the wrong homeless man.
I am sorry. I was looking for Lindsay.
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334. You lied to me.
You both lied to me. I'm goin'to war.
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335. - Buster, you can't!
- Yes, I can.
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336. I don't agree
with your dirty doings here...
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337. but I will defend with my life
your right to do it.
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338. You planned this all along,
didn't you, Michael?
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339. - No, I didn't. I had no crew. I had no time.
- You set me up.
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340. Gob charged
at Michael with the scissors...
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341. but Michael,
as he always did, picked rock-
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342. - You wanted to make me look foolish!
- Put down the scissors.
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343. - Put 'em down.
- Foolish with scissors!
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344. Which beat scissors.
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345. Unfortunately, the whole incident
was covered by the paper.
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346. Nobody looks good in this.
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347. - Especially that little dude.
- That's Ann.
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348. - Who's-
- It doesn't matter. Listen.
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349. You know I didn't set you up, okay?
I think the only reason you and I always fight...
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350. is that since we were little kids,
Dad's always played us off each other.
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351. Dad always said
that was your fault.
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352. Anyway, what we oughta do
is make a decision right now...
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353. not to let Dad get in the middle
of our relationship anymore.
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354. - He's not even in town, and we're fighting.
- We're grown men.
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355. - Yeah, let's just move on.
- Look at me. I'm the president of a company now.
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356. Oh, that's Dad's line. I bet he saw the paper.
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357. Listen, if you want my respect,
you won't answer that, okay?
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358. It's just gonna
cause more problems.
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359. Hello? They hung up.
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360. They hung up on me.
Hiya, guys.
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361. I couldn't get the money.
I don't know what happened.
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362. - I'm impressed you hung up.
- Did I hang up?
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363. - I meant to hit speaker.
- Oh.
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364. - You gotta hit the line first.
- I'm hitting both at the same time.
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365. - These are the lines. There's a line here.
- But she said-
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366. - It's line and then-
- Hey.
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367. I don't wanna wait until Dad's dead
for us to get along.
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368. But it was too late...
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369. as George Sr. Would be declared dead...
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370. within the hour.
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371. - From now on, we support each other.
- We start with a clean slate.
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372. - Yeah.
- We almost did it though, didn't we?
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373. We almost pulled it off.
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374. - No, it wasn't even close.
- Yeah, a lot of people got hurt.
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375. - This was very, very bad.
- Not great. Not great.
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376. On the next Arrested Development.
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377. Lindsay finds out the true identity
ofher homeless man.
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378. Look. You're a really nice chick,
but I'm not homeless.
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379. I'm Tom Jane.
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380. And even though Lindsay
doesn't know who that is...
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381. hearing that he isn't homeless
is good enough for her.
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382. - Buy me a drink?
- You're really sweet, but, no.
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383. I'm Tom Jane.
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384. And Lindsay, crushed and alone...
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385. for the first time
misses her husband.
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386. Tobias.
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387. Lindsay, I'm-
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388. Is that George Michael's
diamond cream?
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389. Oh, yes, well, I ran out of blue,
and I couldn't find anything else.
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390. I think my nipples are bleeding though. I don't
know if you're supposed to use quite this much.
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391. - That guy's a jerk.
- No, I am.
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392. No, no, I am.
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393. Because I think I need
to go to the hospital right away...
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394. and see if I can't get some of this diamond dust
vacuumed from out of my lungs.
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395. This way.
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