1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...
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2. and the one son
who had no choice...
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3. but to keep them all together.
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4. It's Arrested Development.
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5. Michael Bluth had gotten up early...
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6. in the hopes of avoiding his family.
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7. His mother, however, was already dressed,
made up and waiting for him-
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8. - Good morning.
- Ooh!
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9. Which put her wake-up time
in the 3:00, 3:30 area.
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10. I couldn't sleep.
I always get this way before Motherboy.
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11. Oh, God.
It's Motherboy already?
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12. Motherboy was a dinner dance
aimed at promoting mother-son bonding.
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13. Lucille had gone
over 25 times with Buster...
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14. and on a few occasions,
had won Cutest Couple.
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15. As one entered sexual maturity,
and the other one left it...
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16. it became harder to win.
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17. - I'm so hot.
- If you were hot, Mother, we would win.
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18. It's not just Motherboy.
It's Motherboy XXX!
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19. - And I think with you, I've got a shot.
- Oh, no.
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20. - Buster, for the first time ever,
doesn't want to do this?
- No, he does.
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21. It's just,
he's been so mopey.
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22. That could have something to do
with the fact that a seal ate his hand.
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23. - I don't know what it is.
- I think that's what it is.
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24. - Who knows?
- It was that.
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25. It had happened weeks earlier when Buster
went swimming in the ocean...
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26. against his mother's wishes.
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27. He had become haunted by the loss...
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28. seeing reminders of the accident everywhere.
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29. Mother, I can't sleep. I may not be able
to go to dance practice today.
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30. I'm going out. Zip me up.
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31. I mean,
look how he zips now.
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32. I know what this is. You're embarrassed
by him, aren't you?
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33. You spent your whole life
over-mothering the guy...
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34. and when he finally needs you,
you're not there.
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35. Well, I don't see you
spending time with him.
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36. The Bluth children had been
uneasy about missing limbs...
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37. since their father used a one-armed man
to teach them lessons.
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38. That's why you don't yell.
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39. As a matter of fact, I'm going to see Buster today.
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40. So you're gonna have to find a different
dance partner for Motherboy.
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41. God. Not that "I'm in love
with my mother" dance thing.
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42. I'm so glad there wasn't one of
those for daddies and daughters.
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43. - Of course they have father-daughter dances.
- They do? He never took me?
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44. It was before we did your nose.
Toodle-oo.
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45. - You're up awful early.
- Well, my marriage is falling apart.
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46. - Tobias is back with Carl.
- Tobias had gotten a call...
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47. from his one-time acting
teacher, Carl Weathers.
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48. He's directing something for TV,
but he thinks he might have a part for me.
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49. If this takes off, I might be able to buy you
the happiness that you deserve.
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50. He said the same thing when he got cast as
Frightened Inmate Number Two...
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51. in that film he got fired from.
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52. He had even gotten a vanity plate
made up announcing the achievement.
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53. And this wasn't the first time.
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54. He's so clueless.
He's not your real "take charge" husband.
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55. Lindsay, you're still looking
for somebody like Daddy, okay?
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56. Let's not forget that he was also
dismissive and disinterested.
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57. No. No, he had good qualities.
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58. Actually, George Sr. Was secretly living...
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59. - in the attic above them
and was starved for company-
- Nellie.
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60. Now-
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61. who wants to take their top off?
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62. when George Michael and Maeby came in.
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63. So you and Ann are actually going on
a Christian camping trip?
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64. It's called the Promise Land.
You're supposed to make promises...
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65. about your relationship as a tribute to
the generations that preceded you.
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66. Hey, there's booze in this.
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67. That's the Promise Land
that Ann's taking you to?
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68. You're gonna need this
more than Polly here.
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69. - That one's Polly?
- Hey! What are you kids doin' up here?
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70. We're lookin' for the camping stuff. Do you
know where the pump is for the air mattress?
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71. I had to take all pumps
out of here a long time ago.
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72. Take this down to
the kitchen, will you?
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73. I think it's getting too risky
keeping you up here.
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74. You know what's risky?
Lettin' your son go on that church thing.
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75. Her name's Ann, Dad,
and he's not "going" on her, okay?
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76. - They're just friends.
- Not for long.
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77. They're making promises
to each other.
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78. It's all that fidelity and pledging
yourself to a woman garbage.
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79. I wine 'em and dine 'em,
but I don't let 'em tell me what to do.
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80. I don't... let 'em tell me...
what to do.
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81. Okay, I should've never taken
the pumps out ofhere.
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82. Listen, unlike you,
I respect my son's choices.
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83. George Michael, I don't think you should
be going on this Promise Land thing.
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84. What? Why?
Because I'd miss school?
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85. - No.
- You get to miss school for that?
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86. And that's when Maeby decided
to become a devout Christian.
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87. Do you guys know where I could get one of
those gold necklaces with the "T" on it?
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88. - That's a cross.
- Across from where?
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89. Um, it's not about school, pal.
It's more about family.
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90. Your Uncle Buster's been very depressed
lately, and you haven't visited him.
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91. Family first. Or did they not teach you that
at the Promise Land?
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92. - I don't know. You won't let me go.
- Attaboy.
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93. Michael then went to the office,
where he ran into Gob.
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94. Barry come by yet?
I need to talk to him about my divorce.
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95. Gob had once
gotten married on a dare...
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96. a fact he'd only remembered
when he was served with divorce papers.
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97. - That cow is going after me.
- Your wife? She was super-thin.
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98. - She was?
- Yeah.
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99. What about her cans?
She have big cans?
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100. - You don't remember her at all?
- It was one night of wild passion.
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101. - And yet you didn't notice her body.
- I like to look in the mirror.
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102. That would be disgusting if you'd actually
slept with her, but I don't think you did.
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103. - I did! And it was disgusting.
- They didn't, but it would have been.
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104. Anyway, remember that seal of hers
that I released into the ocean?
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105. - Bit off Buster's hand?
- Vaguely.
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106. Her lawyers are claiming
that the seal's worth 250 grand.
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107. And that's not even
including Buster's Swatch.
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108. Listen, Gob, if you admit in court that
you never consummated the marriage...
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109. you can get it annulled
and walk away free and clear.
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110. You just can't deal with the fact that I've got
a super-thin wife with huge cans.
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111. All right. Who's ready to show
their lawyer some love?
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112. The seal?
Must've had a tracking device on it.
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113. Someone tracked it all the way
to a dock in Dana Point.
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114. You know, if that hand is still intact inside
the seal, Buster's got a shot at a transplant.
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115. At the very least, we can get Buster's
Swatch back, right?
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116. Up top. No?
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117. And Tobias met with
Carl Weathers at Burger King.
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118. And Tobias met with
Carl Weathers at Burger King.
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119. Thanks for meeting me down here
at Burger King.
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120. I'm tryin' to get them to underwrite
a new TV project I'm workin' on.
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121. Get some money in exchange
for settin' a scene here in Burger King.
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122. As long as you
don't draw attention to it.
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123. I'm directing an episode
of the series Scandal Makers.
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124. It's about the Bluth family and your
father-in-law's escape from justice.
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125. - I play the lead- a bounty hunter, name of Ice.
- Oh, no.
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126. You want me to play myself,
don't you?
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127. I swore I'd not go reality.
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128. - I will do-
- No, I already got a great guy
named Dave Attell to play you.
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129. I wasn't actually here
to ask you to be in it.
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130. I'm lookin' for somebody
in your family to sign a release.
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131. I could not betray my family
like that.
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132. Come on, man. I've got every part cast
except for George Sr.
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133. - I want that part.
- Then sign over the rights.
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134. I'm gonna go get a new soda.
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135. Did you know that you can get a refill
on any drink you want here, and it's free?
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136. It's a wonderful restaurant.
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137. It sure is. George Michael,
meanwhile, spent an afternoon...
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138. - with his uncle, at his father's suggestion.
- King me.
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139. Oh, God! I keep forgetting about this.
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140. - Oh, me too.
- Well, that's a do-over. So, who should go first?
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141. I know.
Let's rock-paper-scissors for it.
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142. - No! You would've-You would've won that, so-
- Oh.
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143. George Michael- Buster, did you at least
offer your nephew a bowl of soup?
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144. Yes, Mother, I did.
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145. - Can I open a can of soup for you?
- Can it open a can?
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146. - Can what open a can? Oh, God!
- Oh, God!
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147. Actually, I just wanted to spend some time
with my Knuckle Buster.
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148. - See, Mother? Not everybody is afraid of me.
- Oh, my God!
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149. Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending
some time with what's left of your uncle.
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150. I was supposed to go away to the Promise Land
this weekend, but my dad didn't want me to.
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151. - Family first.
- Well, you've done your duty this week.
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152. You're a very sympathetic
young man.
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153. Very sympathetic.
You know what?
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154. You deserve to go out of town this weekend,
and I'm taking you.
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155. Really?
George Michael should have realized...
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156. by the sailor suit
Lucille dressed him in...
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157. that he wasn't going north
to the Promise Land.
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158. I can't believe you don't know this song,
George Michael.
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159. No, he was going south.
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160. - South to Motherboy.
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161. And Michael and Gob headed out
to find the seal with the tracking device.
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162. I guess we should call Buster
and have him meet us at the dock, right?
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163. I guess so.
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164. Or we could make sure
it's the right seal first?
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165. - I mean, why get his hopes up?
- Yeah, that's better.
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166. - Knock, knock.
- Oh, God!
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167. - Monster!
- Hey, Brothers.
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168. - Buster.
- Bonster!
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169. - Sorry about the window.
- Not a problem.
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170. I really hate this stupid hook.
But I certainly can't walk around like this.
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171. - Why not?
- Very handsome.
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172. We were just gonna call you.
We think we know where the seal is.
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173. - The seal that did this to me?
- Yeah.
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174. - Take me!
- Yes. That's a good idea.
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175. I'm gonna go with Barry.
You should get in here. I'll just go with Barry.
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176. There's not enough room for you and me
and the stump and the thing- stuff. Barry!
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177. Tobias had gotten his first speaking role...
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178. simply by signing away
the life rights of everyone he loved.
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179. - And now he needed some research.
- I'm George Sr.
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180. Ooh, that's good.
That's the voice. I've got the voice.
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181. - That's not my voice.
- Oh, my God!
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182. - What are you doing here?
- I'm havin' a- tea party.
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183. What does it look like? I live here.
You tell anybody, you are dead.
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184. Tobias saw the raw power of George Sr.
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185. Stop licking my hand,
you horse's ass.
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186. Apower he needed
the man to teach him.
- That's it.
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187. So he explained the project,
and George Sr. Agreed on one condition.
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188. If you play me,
you gotta play me like a man...
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189. and not some mincing little
Polly or Nellie.
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190. I get those names confused.
Apologies. Apologies all around.
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191. And the search
for Buster's hand continued.
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192. I would love to be able
to say "Look what I've had reattached...
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193. while you and George Michael
were off to Motherboy."
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194. Motherboy? Wait a minute.
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195. Mom took him to Motherboy?
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196. He couldn't wait to swoop in and throw on that
sailor suit, because he's not damaged goods.
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197. Wait a minute.
I don't want him doing that.
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198. You gotta go with me down there
and help me get him, all right?
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199. - That place is your scene.
- Face it, Michael. They've won.
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200. He's the new Buster.
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201. This was the worst thing
Michael could possibly hear.
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202. Oh, I'm so sorry. False alarm.
What they tracked down was a shark...
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203. and he must've bitten off the part of
the seal with the tracking device on it.
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204. - Left flipper.
- So, the seal lost his hand too.
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205. Yeah, poor guy's probably out there
without a flipper...
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206. swimming around in a circle,
freaking out his whole family.
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207. That tracking device tells me
he was raised in captivity.
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208. - There's no way he stood a chance
out in the real world.
- See that? He was a victim too.
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209. You both were too sheltered
to learn how to protect yourselves...
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210. and we can't let that happen
to George Michael.
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211. I will help you, Michael.
We've got to rescue your son.
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212. And I've got to
staple this to a seal.
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213. And I've skipped breakfast,
so I'm off to Burger King.
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214. And Lucille arrived at
the hotel where Motherboy was taking place.
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215. This is nice, spending some time,
just the two of us.
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216. Oh- me.
The exact same color.
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217. What are the odds?
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218. Not to worry.
Gangy brought some backups.
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219. We'll get a room
so we can change.
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220. You think enough time has passed
to do Sonny and Cher?
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221. - Who?
- We're here for Motherboy.
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222. And you do realize
this is not the band.
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223. Motherboy was also a heavy metal band...
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224. That used to rock
pretty hard in the '70s.
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225. We are legally obligated
to make the distinction.
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226. Maybe I should let
my dad know that we're here.
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227. Oh, he'll know when we
bring home the trophy.
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228. Yeah, but maybe
I'll just give him a call.
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229. And what name shall we
put the room under?
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230. - Karmopolis.
- And Lindsay was about to see...
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231. a Tobias with
the raw power of George Sr.
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232. I sort of want to talk
to you about some things.
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233. It's a little late for talk, Lindsay.
I'm a man of action now.
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234. You don't need the calories.
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235. This isn't working.
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236. Is it my imagination, or is he more
commanding and mannish?
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237. It's like- I don't know.
Maybe I do want to be with him.
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238. Then you should go to him.
For as it is written...
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239. you shall be with whom you have formed
a more perfect union with under God.
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240. She's right.
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241. This isn't working.
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242. I'm sorry.
You've got the wrong Motherboy.
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243. This looks like the place.
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244. And Michael and Buster
arrived at Motherboy.
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245. Excuse me.
Has a Lucille Bluth checked in?
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246. - I have no one by that name.
- God.
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247. - She knows you're after her.
- She does?
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248. Wait a minute.
I recognize those outfits.
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249. - We're getting you out of here.
- Thank you! Thank you!
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250. - Oh, God! It's red.
- Take me with you! No, please! Please!
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251. - It's the wrong child.
- Where do we go next?
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252. I will tell you this, Michael. If Mother saw
those two, she is going to change clothes.
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253. And that means
he'll be on the balcony.
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254. Whenever she changed clothes,
she made me wait on the balcony until zip-up.
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255. And yet, anything goes at bath time.
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256. Let's check the balconies.
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257. And Barry prepared Gob
to meet with his wife.
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258. If you really want
to settle this, your job...
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259. is to convince
that "wife" of yours...
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260. that you are willing to go in front of the judge
and admit that you never had sex.
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261. She has a name, Barry. You don't happen
to know what it is by the way, do you?
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262. That's why I want to settle.
I'm not super prepared.
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263. Well, we did have sex.
And I'm not a great liar.
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264. Both things hejust said were lies.
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265. - But if you think it'll scare her off.
- I do, and it will.
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266. And you don't want to go in front of
that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
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267. - What were you doin' there?
- Wow. You should be the lawyer.
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268. And soon, Michael and Buster
surveyed the hotel...
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269. Iooking for George Michael.
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270. There's a very bored-looking little
Sonny Bono on that balcony.
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271. Oh, God. That means
she'll be dressed like Cher.
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272. I have an idea.
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273. It is time I used something I trained for in army,
but I never got a chance to do.
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274. - You cannot zip-line over there!
- Either I zip down or he zips up!
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275. And that is a mighty long zipper
on Mother's Cher jumpsuit.
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276. You have to get on
your knees to start it.
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277. This is much less scary.
Godspeed, Buster.
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278. One, two, three-
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279. You came for me!
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280. Zip me up.
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281. We're switching rooms again.
And costumes.
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282. Tobias had begun work
on the set of Scandal Makers.
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283. What's so great about Tobias is he's got this
obligation to his wife and daughter.
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284. - Whoa. This guy's straight?
- Yeah.
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285. Then what the hell am I wearin' these for?
Look at that.
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286. Hey, gang. I'm sorry.
I don't want to note you to death...
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287. but you should be wearing those
under your pants.
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288. - Why?
- It's a thing. There's dozens of us.
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289. This whole thing is startin' to feel
like a real career killer.
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290. - Yeah, I know, man.
- Also, l-
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291. Tobias, why don't you go learn
your lines, man? Work on them.
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292. Did I get lines? God!
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293. They told me I was just jumping
onto a moving stair car.
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294. If that man's straight,
then I am sober.
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295. Hi. Um, I'm waiting
for "Gawb" Bluth.
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296. I'm Gob Bluth.
My wife send you?
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297. - I'm your wife.
- I knew that.
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298. Nice to see you again, Usarmy.
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299. You lost a lot of weight in Iraq,
especially up in the northern region.
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300. - So where's the seal?
- Hey, that's not my problem.
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301. As far as I'm concerned,
we were never even married.
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302. Maybe I'll just say that
we never sealed the deal.
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303. - You're willing to admit that?
- Lie about it? Yes.
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304. Wow. I mis-underestimated you.
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305. You've got some courage.
Makes me wonder what I'm missing.
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306. You mean, other than your cans?
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307. No. They're still here.
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308. And so Gob set about consummating...
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309. the marriage he'd finally agreed
to claim he hadn't.
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310. And back at Motherboy XXX, Lucille
was finding her new partner an asset.
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311. - Is this your son?
- No, I'm his grandmother.
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312. - He's an orphan.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
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313. - Well, you guys should win.
- I'm not an orphan. I have a dad.
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314. Well, good luck to you.
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315. Well, that little bit
of honesty helped nothing.
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316. You'd better bring it
to the waltz, young man.
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317. Meanwhile, Michael and Buster
had retrieved Buster's hook...
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318. and were staking out
the situation.
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319. Gypsies.
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320. Hey.
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321. They've changed into gypsies.
My army training...
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322. tells me that this is
going to be a hot mission.
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323. - One hot mission.
- Yes.
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324. I create a diversion, and you grab
George Michael and go.
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325. We need a name.
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326. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother."
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327. - No, let's try to top that.
- They never did.
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328. And later, Operation Hot Mother was underway.
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329. Buster was waiting for Michael's cue
to unplug the lights.
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330. But that's when Buster
caught his hook on a sandbag.
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331. Hey!
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332. And now from the land of gypsies,
Lucille Bluth and her orphaned grandson.
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333. What the hell's goin' on, Buster?
Cut the lights!
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334. - Buster?
- Grab him! Take the gypsy boy!
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335. - I'm taking you out of here. Let's go.
- They haven't served dinner yet.
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336. - George Michael.
- You're not taking him.
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337. - Take me with you!
- What are you doin'? I can't.
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338. Get off of me!
Buster, let's get out of here.
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339. I'm stuck. Go.
Take the boy. Go!
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340. All right, Motherboys.
Our curtain seems to be stuck.
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341. We're going to do some freestyle
waltzing while we get it fixed.
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342. Boys' choice.
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343. - George Michael, you're choosing me.
- No, Mom.
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344. You had no right to bring him to this freak show.
He was supposed to be visiting Buster.
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345. No, you were supposed
to be visiting Buster...
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346. but you made your son do it
because you didn't want to.
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347. - You were supposed to do it?
- You didn't want to?
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348. No. Buster, l- I didn't know how
to, uh, treat you, all right?
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349. I thought that you would be a little
different, but you're not.
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350. I was wrong, okay?
I'm sorry.
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351. You know, you're as good a brother
as you ever were.
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352. - Thank you.
- All right?
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353. Yes. I am no different.
I am the same old Motherboy.
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354. George Michael still has a chance.
Take him!
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355. Thanks. Let's go.
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356. Boys' choice?
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357. That is, if you're not embarrassed
to take my hook.
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358. Of course not.
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359. I'm Peter Pan,
and you're Captain Hook.
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360. We'll pretend it's a costume.
Let's dance.
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361. And that night, Michael,
his brother and his son...
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362. - arrived at the Promise Land.
- All right.
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363. I appreciate you taking me
up here to see Ann.
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364. - A promise is a promise.
And I'm glad the three of us...
- Yeah.
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365. - Were able to spend some time together.
- Oh, yeah.
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366. - And I finally feel good about myself. "Saddest."
- And I saw some of those people.
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367. - That was a very competitive category.
- Oh, don't I know it.
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368. - Here we go.
- I can't get out, actually.
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369. On the next Arrested Development.
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370. Lindsay finds herself strangely compelled
to be with Tobias.
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371. I have never
been more attracted to you.
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372. Wow. The service
sent you over fast.
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373. Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
I'm in the wrong trailer.
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374. But not the one she's married to.
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375. So you don't cry
when you take those off?
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376. Having finally had sex, Gob can admit...
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377. he never consummated
their marriage.
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378. Judge, maybe you should take a look at this.
It was taken in your office just moments ago.
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379. - But Gob catches a lucky break.
- There's no way to tell who this man is.
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380. But it doesn't last long.
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381. That's me, Your Honor.
L- my wife.
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382. We really lost this case.
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383. And Maeby impresses
the kids at the Promise Land...
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384. with her one
scary campfire story.
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385. Knock, scrape.
The only thing more terrifying...
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386. than the escaped lunatic's hook
was his twisted call!
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387. Hey, campers.
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388. I'm a monster!
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389. This may have been
a step backwards.
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390. Upon her knee
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391. So fine to be
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392. Mother and boy
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393. Mother-
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394. boy
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