1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...
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2. and the one son
who had no choice...
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3. but to keep them all together.
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4. It's Arrested Development.
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5. Before going to work,
Michael decided to have a little fun.
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6. I'm doing a little cost-projection
analysis for a mini-mall.
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7. Wow. That's pretty cool you
know how to do all that stuff.
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8. Yeah. Well, maybe your old man is just a little
bit cooler than you thought he was.
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9. Stupid. Stupid chair.
Very stupid chair.
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10. But it's also this stupid
model home furniture.
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11. Maybe I oughta get myself one of those
nice leather chairs from work.
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12. - People can take chairs home from work?
- Well, not everybody.
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13. But I'm the president of
the Bluth Company since Dad's in jail.
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14. It's okay if I take a little
something from work, you know?
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15. Yeah, but isn't that why Grandpa's in jail,
because he took things from work?
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16. You're a good kid, you know that?
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17. I mean, a chair costs money,
so it's like stealing, and you always say...
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18. Not stealing. Not.
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19. I'm the one that taught you
stealing is bad, all right?
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20. I'm just saying, you know,
if I got a leather chair, okay?
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21. And I get to lean back...
Oh, this one's gonna go.
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22. Leather chair? So, you're against stealing,
but skinning cows is cool with you.
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23. I'm fine, by the way. Frankly, your concern
is getting embarrassing.
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24. - Since when are you against leather?
- You're not even a vegetarian.
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25. I'm not against the insides.
People need meat to survive.
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26. You are aware they don't remove it
from the cow surgically, right?
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27. Hi, Michael.
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28. Marta, hi. Hey, it's Marta.
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29. Hey, Marta, everybody.
Great to see you.
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30. - I was just looking for Gob.
- Well, you're his girlfriend.
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31. Michael wished Marta
was his girlfriend.
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32. A secret he had only shared
with Lindsay.
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33. Actually, we had a big fight.
He thought I was belittling his career...
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34. - but I never would do that.
- Neither would I. What career?
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35. - The magic?
- Oh, the tricks. The little tricks.
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36. - Those are great.
- Well, he didn't like my reaction to his new one.
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37. Real needle. Real apple.
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38. Real neck.
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39. ÉI es zombi!
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40. They're children!
How could you do that?
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41. Oh, sure. First you dump all over it,
now you wanna know how it's done.
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42. - And I wanted to apologize.
- Well, he hasn't been here.
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43. But he said he was
staying here. Oh, my God.
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44. - Maybe he's staying with another woman.
- No, no, no. No, no.
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45. He is staying here.
I just haven't seen him here...
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46. the foyer or the kitchen.
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47. - Well, that's a relief.
- Yeah.
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48. - Well, tell him to call me when he gets in.
- I sure will, Marta.
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49. - If you remember.
- I will remember.
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50. Yeah. I'll give him
the message though. Okay.
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51. - She's gone.
- Yep. Got it.
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52. - You are too nice.
- Oh, come on. What was I supposed to do?
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53. Tell her that Gob is not staying here?
Tell her Gob is screwing around on her?
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54. God knows where he is?
Actually, that-that sounded okay.
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55. Nah, you'll never be able to do it.
You're too good.
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56. - You're the noble one.
- Thank you.
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57. - The one who never wins.
- l-I don't know about that.
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58. - The loser. The fool.
- Hmm?
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59. She is such a hypocrite.
Doesn't it drive you nuts?
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60. - Crazy. Wait. Who is? Which part?
- My mom.
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61. She pretends to care
about all these causes.
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62. Lindsay had always been celebrated...
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63. for her wine and cheese charity fund-raisers.
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64. I mean, now she's anti-leather? Let's see how
she feels when her daughter's pro-leather.
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65. Wanna go shopping with me?
I bet you could get something cool.
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66. In fact, George Michael
had been trying to prove to Maeby...
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67. that he was macho, after
an embarrassing brush with her.
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68. Your legs look exactly like mine,
and I just shaved mine.
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69. So I'm thinking of getting a motorcycle.
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70. I'm gonna need a leather jacket when I'm on
my hog and need to go into a controlled slide.
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71. There's my little girl. I've got great news.
Daddy has the entire day off.
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72. But you have every day off.
You don't have a job.
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73. Well... I don't need money to hang
out with my daughter. Where are you going?
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74. - We're going shopping.
- Oh, no, no. I can't do that.
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75. The next day, Michael
was stopped on his way to work.
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76. - Get in.
- What?
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77. If you care about your brother,
you'll get in this car.
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78. - Which brother?
- Gob.
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79. Let me be clearer.
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80. Tell him Rollo wants him to
say good-bye to his legs.
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81. - Michael went looking for Gob.
- Mom.
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82. I'm so glad you're here. I want you to help
me break up your brother and his girlfriend.
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83. Well, I'm all for that.
We've just gotta find him first.
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84. - He's locked on the balcony.
- Oh.
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85. You meant Buster.
I thought you were talking about Gob.
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86. No. I will not have Buster
dating my best friend.
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87. Tension had been high
between the two Lucilles...
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88. since Buster had announced
he'd been dating her.
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89. Although neither had addressed this, both
had given indications of their true feelings.
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90. - Mom, you're ruining our fort.
- I mean, she's been a family friend for years.
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91. It's just... creepy.
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92. Hi, buddy. Mom, I think
you might be overreacting.
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93. She changed him as a baby.
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94. Okay. That-That's about
the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
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95. That's why she didn't look surprised.
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96. You're the only child who chose a spouse
I liked, and she's the one who had to die.
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97. I know. That's rough for you.
Mom, I'm looking for Gob.
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98. There's some people after him, and I
don't know whether it's gambling or what...
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99. but, um, they wanna break his legs.
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100. It's a good thing he's already got
that little scooter.
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101. Oh, don't give me that look.
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102. I happen to be
a more caring mother than most.
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103. - Where's my bed?
- I put it in storage.
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104. I guess you'll just have to decide which
Lucille you want to spend your nights with.
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105. Okay. Before I leave this place
for the last time ever, has anyone seen Gob?
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106. I saw him last night
at the Playtime Pizza Theater. On my date.
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107. Of which I have
another one tonight.
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108. And I'm going to
continue dating, Mom.
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109. Sounds a little bit like "dating Mom."
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110. - It's starting to feel a little like it.
- Hmm.
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111. Lucille decided she needed
the help of Buster's father.
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112. Unfortunately,
after a recent escape attempt...
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113. George Sr. had been
put in solitary confinement.
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114. Michael went to find
his brother at his latest gig.
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115. - What's up, Mike?
- Yeah. What are you doing here?
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116. Can't get any work, Mike.
Magicians' Alliance has blackballed me...
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117. - from every venue in town.
- Hmm.
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118. Even my own so-called girlfriend
doesn't believe in me.
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119. Well, I don't wanna get into
that part of your life anymore.
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120. Okay. Listen, I just came here to tell you
that this guy named Rollo...
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121. pulled me over
and made some threats.
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122. - What kind of threats?
- He said to say good-bye to your legs.
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123. I don't know whether
this guy's a mobster, a loan shark...
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124. - something equally scary.
- A magician.
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125. I think you're confusing scary with silly.
This guy was frightening. He was in a limo.
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126. No, he's a magician.
He replaced me in the Alliance.
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127. He's the reason I gotta
do my act in this hellhole.
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128. - Why does he wanna break your legs?
- He doesn't wanna break my legs.
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129. - He wants to take my legs.
- l-I don't...
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130. The legs... The bottom half of
my saw-the-lady-in-half trick.
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131. No, not now. I'm showing him
how to do the trick.
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132. Two chicks curl up in a box.
We call one the head and one the legs.
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133. - So that's how they do it.
- God, I gotta stop giving these things away.
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134. The top half there,
what do you do about that?
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135. - I just get a volunteer from the crowd.
- Oh, yeah?
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136. The old top half quit when she found out
I was sleeping with the legs.
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137. I guess word
really gets around in there.
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138. So Rollo wants your legs, but you're
cheating on Marta with those legs.
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139. Would you give me a break, please?
The legs are insanely jealous.
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140. Is that why you haven't seen Marta for the
past few days? This is about your love life.
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141. I can't believe it. Just forget it.
I came here to try to help...
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142. - Hey, I appreciate your time.
- Great. Great.
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143. You know what, Gob?
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144. Marta is a once-in-a-lifetime
woman. She's a treasure.
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145. And I don't think you're showing her
enough respect, okay?
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146. She doesn't respect my career.
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147. Okay.
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148. He's having sex with a woman in his act?
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149. I gotta tell Marta what's going on.
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150. First of all, she'll hate you for it.
It's called shoot the messenger.
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151. Secondly, it's not in your nature.
I mean, you're like Mr. Morals.
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152. - You can't even take a desk chair.
- Damn it.
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153. l-I'm a saint, you know? I'm a living saint,
and I get absolutely nothing out of it.
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154. Well, you get a false feeling
of superiority.
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155. I know. That is nice,
but this time, it's not enough.
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156. Why do I always have to be the one that
has to set the good example for everyone?
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157. - Hey, guys.
- Oh, that's why.
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158. - Hey, Mom.
- Hey, honey.
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159. Moo?
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160. Mmm. Moo, honey.
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161. You have to be some sort of
she hulk to get this.
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162. - You just gotta really dig.
- Well, it's not... enjoy...
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163. Oh, Maeby, great news.
I got my hands on some money.
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164. I can't say how or when...
or where my wedding ring is...
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165. but, my purse overfloweth
as do my high spirits...
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166. - so a-shopping we must go.
- Dad, we already went.
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167. That's why we're wearing all this leather.
I'm really into leather.
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168. - Tell Mom.
- Yes.
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169. - If you ever need to borrow
any money or anything...
- No. Thank you, no.
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170. So Tobias chose to pursue
a common interest with his daughter.
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171. - May I help you?
- I hope so. Um, I'm looking
for something that says...
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172. - "Dad likes leather."
- Something that says, "leather daddy"?
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173. Oh, is there such a thing?
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174. Later that day,
Michael got a surprise visit.
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175. - Marta. What are you doing here?
- I was looking for Gob.
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176. - He said he was working here today.
- Oh, yes? Please.
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177. He said that, huh?
Said that he's working, huh? Wow. Here?
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178. What else did he say? Did he tell you
I gave him your message?
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179. - Not that I'm the messenger, you know?
- He told me.
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180. I don't know what you said to him,
but it really turned him around.
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181. - He said I was a treasure.
- She's a treasure.
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182. And a
once-in-a-lifetime woman.
- Mm-hmm.
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183. Listen, Marta, Gob is...
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184. - a poet.
- Mm.
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185. He's touched. I'm gonna tell him
that you stopped by...
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186. - and, uh, you have a nice day.
- Thank you.
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187. You're such a good brother.
Always trying to help him.
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188. - He showed me the watch you gave him.
- The watch?
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189. I appreciate your time.
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190. And so, for the first time,
Michael set a plan in motion...
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191. to take something
that didn't belong to him.
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192. You know, I was thinking, I'd like to
help you guys out one more time.
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193. You know what you should do?
You should surprise Gob onstage.
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194. - I know that he's looking for a new assistant.
- Really?
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195. - Mm-hmm.
- Could you help me with that?
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196. - Yes.
- You really are a good guy, Michael.
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197. Well, you can't change who you are.
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198. Michael went to
the popular magic parlor...
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199. Michael went to
the popular magic parlor...
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200. the Gothic Castle, to ask a favor of Rollo.
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201. I was wondering if, uh... if you would
give my brother a show?
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202. One more chance to get back in
with the Alliance. That's all I ask.
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203. And-And you will get your legs back.
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204. How?
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205. You're asking me to reveal my trick?
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206. So Michael went to give
his brother the good news.
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207. - Really, tomorrow night?
- Yeah. You just gotta make sure
you do the sawing in half trick.
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208. - I don't even have a top half.
- Don't worry about that.
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209. I got someone I want you to use. She's perfect.
A great girl. You're doing me a favor.
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210. - Has she got big cans?
- I'll see ya there, Gob.
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211. - You're a good brother.
- You're a horrible brother, Michael.
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212. Pretty good, huh?
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213. You're gonna put Marta
onstage with the legs?
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214. It's gonna blow up.
Legs get upset. Marta gets upset.
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215. Marta leaves Gob,
and I don't get shot.
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216. You'll never be able to
pull the trigger on this.
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217. - You can't escape it, Michael.
You're the good guy.
- Call me what you want.
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218. - An impotent man-boy?
- But it is done. The plan is in motion.
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219. - This just isn't you.
- It's me now. It's the me that can recline.
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220. - Did that hurt?
- No.
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221. This stuff's kind of hot, isn't it?
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222. - I hadn't noticed.
- Hey, gang.
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223. Mind if squeeze in here
for a moment? Oh!
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224. Look at us. Who'd wanna mess with
any of us, huh?
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225. - Excuse me.
- Yes. Oop.
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226. - Did you get a job or something?
- No. No, I didn't.
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227. Unless you consider
"World's Coolest Daddy" a job.
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228. If l...
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229. - Hey, Dad.
- Hey, buddy. You're still wearing that jacket, huh?
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230. - Yeah. I was just going for a new look.
- Yeah?
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231. Trying to introduce
some edge to the whole palette.
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232. - Hmm. Kind of liked you the way you were.
- You did?
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233. Yeah. I mean, we can't really change
who we are anyway, right?
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234. Wish you'd told me that before
I threw away my Windbreaker.
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235. - Oh, you bought a chair.
- Uh, no, actually, I borrowed it.
Like we talked about.
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236. Well, I thought we decided
that was like stealing.
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237. Is that where we landed on that?
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238. As Michael was becoming more selfish...
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239. his father was choosing
a more pious path.
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240. Which made Buster and Lucille's visit
go much differently than planned.
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241. Why is there
a piece of shoe on your head?
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242. This is a... Well, it's a reminder that
the divine presence...
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243. is always above me.
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244. Well, more importantly,
Buster's been humping the widow Austero.
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245. - Mom.
- Is that true?
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246. No. We're taking it slow.
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247. He stays there sometimes
until 7:00, 8:00 at night.
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248. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one
who's going to take him to the dentist?
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249. She already has.
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250. - What?
- "May you live. May you be well.
I give you my blessing."
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251. - Wow! Really?
- Are you out of your mind?
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252. - Just follow the heart that God gave you, hmm?
- No touching.
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253. No...
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254. Can you get me
some of that peanut brittle?
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255. On the night of the show,
the family arrived at the Gothic Castle...
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256. and in the green room, Michael was
preparing Marta for the trick.
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257. At the bottom of the box.
And you two guys are free to talk.
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258. Okay. Gob, Gob, Gob.
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259. What is going on?
Where's the top half?
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260. I have to teach her this trick.
She's gotta fold her knees.
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261. It's a fantastic trick. I don't want you
to worry though. I've already told her.
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262. Now where are the legs?
Are they running late?
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263. - So is everyone here?
- I think so. I haven't seen Tobias.
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264. In fact, Tobias
had intended to come...
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265. but had a slight miscommunication
with his cabdriver.
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266. - Where to, mate?
- The Gothic Castle.
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267. - Gothic Asshole?
- That's what I said.
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268. And ended up
in the wrong location.
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269. Oh, I am glad
I didn't go with that outfit.
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270. Yes, hello. I am looking for the magic.
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271. Danke schön.
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272. Oh. Hello, Lucille.
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273. Hello, Lucille.
Having a good time with my son?
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274. - Actually, we're having a wonderful time.
- You know, he's damaged goods.
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275. - He was born with a hole in his heart.
- Now listen to me, Lucille.
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276. - I'm gonna fill that hole, 'cause we're in love.
- Oh, please.
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277. You're no more in love
with him than I am.
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278. Okay. We're all saying some things
we're going to regret.
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279. Meanwhile, Gob was
almost ready to begin his show.
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280. Okay. It's magic time.
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281. - Hey, good luck out there now.
- Listen, I got you something...
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282. for being such a good guy...
not that it's a surprise, you always are.
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283. Oh, well, uh...
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284. - My watch.
- I want you to have it.
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285. Well, you've stolen so many things
from me over the years.
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286. This is the first time
you've ever given something back.
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287. I wanna try to be a better brother,
like you are to me.
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288. We're ready for you.
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289. Gob...
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290. have a good show out there.
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291. Ladies and gentlemen, a magician named Gob.
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292. - Dad?
- Hey, George Michael.
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293. - Where's the leather jacket?
- It's like you said...
you can't change who you are.
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294. So what? So I don't have
any hair on my arms or legs. So what?
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295. You know, a leather jacket's
not gonna change that.
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296. You know, I was trying to
act like a tough guy, and it's wrong.
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297. - I'm just a boring, old nice guy like you.
- I'm not that nice.
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298. Dad, if this is about
the chair... I've been thinking.
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299. You deserve it. You know, it's not like
you'd ever steal something big.
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300. Michael was having
second thoughts about his plan.
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301. But then he got some unexpected help.
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302. Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt. You'd better
tell Gob, the legs aren't coming.
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303. - Oh, my God.
- I can't believe the legs would screw him like this.
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304. This is his one last chance. They'll never
let him in the Alliance again.
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305. You have to do something.
This is so important to me and Gob.
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306. Where am I gonna get a pair of beautiful
women's legs on such short notice?
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307. So, the trick went forward as planned.
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308. And now, my, hopefully,
lovely assistant will join me.
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309. Wiggle those sexy gams, lady.
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310. I'm okay with myself.
I'm okay with myself.
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311. Mom, did you see it? I'm back in.
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312. I've got the career back.
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313. - Thank you for coming.
- And when Lucille noticed...
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314. how happy Marta had made Gob, she realized
how important love was to her children.
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315. - Mom.
- Hello, Buster.
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316. If you're still mad,
I don't care. I'm in love.
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317. I actually came to ask
Lucille something.
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318. - What?
- I was wondering...
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319. if you'd like to play bridge
with me next week?
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320. I'd absolutely adore it. Oh, Lucille.
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321. Oh, God. Look at us, Buster.
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322. We're back together again.
Lucille and Lucille.
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323. You guys are friends again.
You can play bridge together.
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324. Could you just... just separate?
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325. Michael watched as
the brother he swore to stop helping...
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326. enjoyed the girlfriend
he helped him reunite with.
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327. And so he returned to work, accepting
the fact that he was a good guy.
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328. But not as good as everyone thought.
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329. This really worked better with the chair.
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330. On the next Arrested Development.
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331. The Alliance decides to let Gob back in.
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332. Tell me, how'd you get two Alliance-approved
assistants with such short notice?
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333. That was just my girlfriend and my nephew.
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334. Well, you're out.
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335. - And Tobias gets some good news.
- I got a gig.
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