1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...Copy !req
2. and the one son
who had no choice...Copy !req
3. but to keep them all together.Copy !req
4. It's Arrested Development.Copy !req
5. Michael Bluth was
infatuated with his brother's girlfriend, Marta...Copy !req
6. a Spanish-language
soap opera star.Copy !req
7. But when he found out she was interested
in a man named Hermano, he confronted her.Copy !req
8. Unfortunately, he discovered too late...Copy !req
9. that "hermano"
in Spanish meant "brother,"Copy !req
10. and the person Marta was infatuated with
was, in fact, himself.Copy !req
11. This was distracting Michael the next day when
he went to meet his father's attorney at prison.Copy !req
12. Look, there is nothing to it.
It's an arraignment.Copy !req
13. They announce the charges.
However, it would help if you all showed up...Copy !req
14. Iooking like a loving,
supportive family.Copy !req
15. - For how long?
- Ten minutes, tops.Copy !req
16. See if you can
get it down to five.Copy !req
17. You know, maybe I should confess
these crimes, save everybody the trouble.Copy !req
18. Oh, get off the mount. You're coming home,
guilty or somehow found not guilty.Copy !req
19. - Hello?Copy !req
20. What the hell is going on? I'm waiting to
hear about Marta and this Hermano guy.Copy !req
21. Yeah, I checked it out.
I do not think that she's cheating.Copy !req
22. - { Gob] I'm going over to Marta's.
- No, no, no. Don't do that, okay?Copy !req
23. just lay low, be cool
and I'll talk to her again.Copy !req
24. - That way you won't look so desperate, you know?
- You're a good guy, mon frère.Copy !req
25. That means "brother" in French.Copy !req
26. I don't know why I know that.
I took four years of Spanish.Copy !req
27. So Michael went to speak with Marta...Copy !req
28. about the misunderstanding
from the night before.Copy !req
29. - I owe you an apology.
- No, I owe you an apology.Copy !req
30. I'm so ashamed that
I was so disrespectful to your brother.Copy !req
31. Oh, who cares?
Nobody respects him.Copy !req
32. You see, Marta, I have been interested
in you since the first day that we met.Copy !req
33. - Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
34. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
35. We live by a code, you and l...
to honor family.Copy !req
36. Yes. That's one of the things that attracted
me to you... your sense of right and wrong.Copy !req
37. I also like your hair
and your face and your breasts.Copy !req
38. - You're so unlike your brother.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
39. - Gob is like the cock of the walk. But not you.
- You are so kind.Copy !req
40. - You're sensitive, like a woman.
- That's enough.Copy !req
41. We do have to do
the right thing.Copy !req
42. - And being together is the wrong thing.
- Very, very...Copy !req
43. wrong.Copy !req
44. ? { Gob Singing]Copy !req
45. - Is that Gob?
- He likes to make love to this.Copy !req
46. - I'm gonna turn this off.
- Please.Copy !req
47. Oh!Copy !req
48. - Gob's wand.
- Oh, this... this is so wrong.Copy !req
49. - Yes.
- No, no, no. Not-Not-Not... Not... Not hot wrong.Copy !req
50. - You know, regular wrong. I gotta tell Gob.
- No, I have to tell him.Copy !req
51. Yes, but you speak a little slowly, and I
really want to get this thing moving along.Copy !req
52. So, listen, you do the noble thing, and you
tell him that you've met somebody else.Copy !req
53. I'm gonna do the noble thing
and tell him that it's me.Copy !req
54. While I'm doing my noble thing you could put
those photos in a box, get rid of the wand...Copy !req
55. and we can do the wrong thing
the right way.Copy !req
56. And Maeby was getting tired
ofher parents'constant fighting.Copy !req
57. I'm saying every time something
starts to go well for you, you blow it.Copy !req
58. Nothing has ever gone well for me,
and you know that.!Copy !req
59. That's my point,
you handsome cowboy, you.Copy !req
60. Oh, great. And now you're mocking me,
you selfish, country-music-loving lady.Copy !req
61. Hello, Maeby.Copy !req
62. Nice cover. Why don't you two just get
a divorce and save us all a lot of grief?Copy !req
63. The night before, Tobias and Lindsay
had chosen to sleep in separate rooms...Copy !req
64. and Tobias had dropped
an intriguing bit of information.Copy !req
65. And then, of course, we couldn't conceive,
so there was that famous ordeal.Copy !req
66. - What do you mean, you couldn't conceive?
Was Maeby adopted?Copy !req
67. Is she not really related to me?
Is she just some girl I know?Copy !req
68. George Michael never got an answer.
- It's Carl Weathers.Copy !req
69. So he set about doing some
investigating on his own.Copy !req
70. - Hey, have you ever seen any
pictures of your mom pregnant?
- Don't talk to me about my mom.Copy !req
71. She's crazy.
Both of them are.Copy !req
72. - Sometimes I wish we weren't even related.
- Hey, you know, maybe we're not.Copy !req
73. Because, I mean, when you think about it,
we don't even really look like each other.Copy !req
74. No, I was talking
about my parents.Copy !req
75. God, what's wrong
with this family?Copy !req
76. Maybe we're not a family.Copy !req
77. And maybe that's
very, very right. We...Copy !req
78. Uncle Gob.
Hey, uh, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?Copy !req
79. - Oh, yeah. Dozens of times.
Hey, is your dad around, or...Copy !req
80. - Hey, Gob. Marta call?
- She sure has...Copy !req
81. four times,
but I didn't take the calls.Copy !req
82. Oh, no? Why not?Copy !req
83. - Because of you. You said to lay low.
And it's working.
- Great.Copy !req
84. Tell you what, you may not be good with women,
but you are great with other people's women.Copy !req
85. - I'll give you that.
- { Chuckles] No! Listen, Gob,
you can't just ignore her.Copy !req
86. Maybe you should talk to her.
She is your girlfriend.Copy !req
87. Exactly. And I want
to keep it that way.Copy !req
88. For all I know, she's calling to break up with me.
I don't answer the phone, that doesn't happen.Copy !req
89. And it's all because of you, fratello.
That's Italian for brother.Copy !req
90. Now all I gotta do
is find this Hermano guy.Copy !req
91. - I'm gonna kill him.
- Hey, Brother.Copy !req
92. - Hey, Busty.
- Hey, Brother.Copy !req
93. - Hey, Buster.
- Gob, there's no need for violence.Copy !req
94. There never is. I'd like to think
that we're all intelligent, mature...Copy !req
95. adults that can settle
their differences...Copy !req
96. whenever they might come to light,
through words.Copy !req
97. Yeah, well, I let my fists
do the talking.Copy !req
98. Not this one, 'cause obviously,
I need it for coin tricks and stuff.Copy !req
99. - But this one, I let it speak for both of them.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
100. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball
and remain motionless when confronted.Copy !req
101. That's what I did in high school
when I almost got into a fight.Copy !req
102. - I think that was about being attacked by bears.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
103. Hey, rich kid.
Gimme your lunch money.Copy !req
104. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like
to get into a fight today.Copy !req
105. - You'd be a much bigger ball.
- There is so much in life
that I have not experienced.Copy !req
106. And now that I'm away from Mom,
I feel like this is my chance to live.Copy !req
107. I want to dance. I want to make love
to a woman. I want to get a checking account.Copy !req
108. { Laughs] I want to know what
it feels like to get my face socked in.Copy !req
109. - Michael, don't get that! That could be Marta!Copy !req
110. - What? Oop! Too late. Hello?
- { Beeps]Copy !req
111. - Michael?
- Oh, hi, Mom.Copy !req
112. - { Buster] I'm not here.
- Is that Buster? Tell him I'm fine without him.Copy !req
113. Why haven't you called me back?
I'm worried about your father's hearing.Copy !req
114. Mom, listen, it's gonna be fine.
I'm on it, okay? I'm taking care of it.Copy !req
115. - I'll be there first thing Friday morning.
- It's tomorrow at 4:30.Copy !req
116. - Oh. I should write that down.
- Where is your head, Michael?Copy !req
117. Everything's gonna be fine.
They just read the charges...Copy !req
118. and we look like a loving family for,
like, six minutes.Copy !req
119. - Ten minutes.
- We couldn't get that down, huh?Copy !req
120. George Michael, meanwhile,
went to speak with Tobias.Copy !req
121. - This was just faxed to you.
- Oh, great! The rewrite.Copy !req
122. Let's see if they've
beefed up my part.Copy !req
123. I got three lines!Copy !req
124. So, uh, I've been thinking about that, uh... that
conversation we were having the other night...Copy !req
125. about, uh, where Maeby
came from, and, uh...Copy !req
126. I was just wondering if
you could finish that thought.Copy !req
127. Yes, okay.
Uh, well, have a seat.Copy !req
128. Uh...Copy !req
129. Um...Copy !req
130. When a man...Copy !req
131. needs to prove to a woman
that he's actually...Copy !req
132. When a man loves a woman...Copy !req
133. and he actually wants
to make love, uh, to her...Copy !req
134. something very,
very special happens.Copy !req
135. And, uh, with deep,
deep concentration...Copy !req
136. - and-and great focus,
he's often able to achieve an erec...
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
137. I'm gonna stop you.
I know where you're running.Copy !req
138. l-I didn't mean
babies in general.Copy !req
139. Oh, well, that's good,
'cause it was about to get a little, ick, gross.Copy !req
140. - Yeah. No, I meant specifically with Maeby.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
141. - This isn't right.
- I know. You're right.Copy !req
142. - I'm sorry.
- No, no. It says it's a shower scene.Copy !req
143. I'm not supposed to be in a shower scene.
It has nudity.Copy !req
144. Tobias was a never-nude,
which is exactly what it sounds like.Copy !req
145. I don't do nudity.
It says that right on my résumé. Okay?Copy !req
146. What... What do you think
I wear these for?Copy !req
147. I was never actually
clear on that.Copy !req
148. So, you're, uh...
you're not with Marta anymore?Copy !req
149. Well, my plan is to get her wanting me
but bad, and then I spring it on her.Copy !req
150. I know you've been cheating on me,
and you just cost yourself one fine man...Copy !req
151. - and one fine CD of him singing
"Love is in the Air."
- Well, I would never, uh...Copy !req
152. do this while you were
still going out, but, uh...Copy !req
153. if you're done with her,
I'd sure like a crack at her.Copy !req
154. { Chuckling] Right, right.
That sounds great. Go for it, buddy.Copy !req
155. But you know that she's kind of
used to being with me, right?Copy !req
156. So, it'd be sort of like
going from prime rib to...Copy !req
157. I don't know...
weird brother of prime rib.Copy !req
158. - Do you even know her?
- I met her. I fell for her.Copy !req
159. I've been watching her program, El Amor
Prohibido... The Love That Is Forbidden.Copy !req
160. She is the love that's forbidden.Copy !req
161. The love of my hermano.Copy !req
162. Wait a second. What?
You know Hermano?Copy !req
163. "Hermano" is brother in Spanish.
As in, "Hey, hermano."Copy !req
164. - Huh.
- Brother?Copy !req
165. - Hermano means brother?
- Yeah.Copy !req
166. Well, sounds like hermano
is about to get his ass kicked.Copy !req
167. Well, this is what I said I wanted.Copy !req
168. So, all right. Let's get it over with. Huh!
{ Clears Throat]Copy !req
169. Uh, so, are you gonna hit me?Copy !req
170. No, I'm not gonna hit you. You're not
the brother Marta's cheating on me with.Copy !req
171. - Oh. Oh, who is?
- How the hell should I know, Buster?Copy !req
172. You know, there is a guy who plays
her older brother on her show.Copy !req
173. I think his name is Tio.Copy !req
174. Tio.Copy !req
175. Well, sounds like someone who you
think's name is Tio...Copy !req
176. is about to get his ass kicked.Copy !req
177. Thanks for the tip, Buster.Copy !req
178. All right, Mom. I'll be sure to tell Buster.
Right. Bye. Mom wanted me to tell you...Copy !req
179. that she doesn't care whether you live or die,
but if you're not dead...Copy !req
180. she would like to see you at the courthouse
tomorrow in the blue sweater.Copy !req
181. - Damn! I hate the blue sweater.
- She said it would look nice with the gray pants.Copy !req
182. - Damn it! She's right!
- Where's Gob?Copy !req
183. - I think he's heading down to the set
of Marta's soap opera.
- What?Copy !req
184. Get this: She may be cheating on him
with the guy who plays her brother.Copy !req
185. I mean, I still like her,
but we're gonna have to deal with this.Copy !req
186. - I gotta go stop him.
- And I've got a blue sweater to steam.Copy !req
187. - Good luck.
- Thanks.Copy !req
188. Gob raced to confront Tio,
with Michael in hot pursuit.Copy !req
189. George Michael, having failed to get
the information he needed from anyone else...Copy !req
190. made the ultimate sacrifice
and went to the keeper of the family secrets.Copy !req
191. - So, uh, it's about Maeby.
- Oh! That's a lost cause.Copy !req
192. - But you get what you pay for, huh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
193. - Wait. What-What do you mean, "pay"?
- Fertility tests, lab fees...Copy !req
194. donors and implants.Copy !req
195. She's not real.
She was made in a cup.Copy !req
196. Like soup... a hundred and thirty
thousand dollar cup of soup.Copy !req
197. How do you like them egg rolls,
Mr. Goldstone?Copy !req
198. All I know is it took an extra year
before we could add a den.Copy !req
199. So are you saying we're
not directly related?Copy !req
200. I'm saying she already spent
her inheritance getting here.Copy !req
201. Gob, meanwhile, had finally
shown up at the El Amor Prohibido set.Copy !req
202. { Speaking Spanish]Copy !req
203. Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor
who plays Marta's brother, Tio.Copy !req
204. - ? Cómo?
- Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right.Copy !req
205. Unfortunately, the actor who played Tio...Copy !req
206. had also starred in a Mexican film
about the life of Oscar De La Hoya.Copy !req
207. - { Michael] Gob. Hey, hey.
- { Gasps]Copy !req
208. - You all right?
- Where am I? Am I in...
two-thirds of a hospital room?Copy !req
209. Yeah, listen, um...Copy !req
210. { Sighs]
It's me.Copy !req
211. I'm the guy that she likes.
"Hermano" is brother.Copy !req
212. Me.Copy !req
213. - Well, if I'd known it was you,
I wouldn't have minded.
- You wouldn't?Copy !req
214. Michael, you're a great guy.Copy !req
215. If you liked her, I would have said,
"Go for it."Copy !req
216. I do kind of like her.Copy !req
217. Go for it.Copy !req
218. Hi.Copy !req
219. My brother said
we can do it.Copy !req
220. That didn't come out as romantic
as I'd hoped, but...Copy !req
221. ? { Love Song]Copy !req
222. - Everything is finally perfect.Copy !req
223. Oh, wait. You jinxed it.
Don't worry. I'll turn it off.Copy !req
224. Mm. It's just my mother. She's probably
worried about my Dad's... hearing.Copy !req
225. Oh. With my Dad,
it is the vision.Copy !req
226. Meanwhile, Tobias told Lindsay
that he couldn't do the part.Copy !req
227. - It plays naked, okay?
- Tobias, we're gonna have to deal
with this sometime.Copy !req
228. I understand you not
wanting to do it on film...Copy !req
229. - but you can't even get undressed in front of me.
- It is not you, Lindsay.Copy !req
230. I can't get undressed alone.
I can't get undressed by myself.Copy !req
231. I mean, this is a real affliction.
I'm sorry it's not recognized here in the states.Copy !req
232. But I know for a fact that there are
two members of German Parliament.Copy !req
233. They're called
"nein wohlstandig" nude.Copy !req
234. But they're German, so...
They speak German, so they have a different...Copy !req
235. Yeah, well, it's not normal,
and ignoring it isn't gonna make it go away.Copy !req
236. You've got nothing
to be ashamed of.Copy !req
237. Please, please don't make fun.Copy !req
238. I'm not making fun.Copy !req
239. Look, how 'bout we
do this together?Copy !req
240. You take off your shirt,
and I'll take off my jacket.Copy !req
241. You know, this family can be pretty
screwed up sometimes. But the good news is...Copy !req
242. Actually, I used to think that, too,
but it's better than the alternative.Copy !req
243. Well, have you explored all the alternatives?
'Cause I guess what I'm getting at is...Copy !req
244. No, but I'm glad I have
this family, you know?Copy !req
245. 'Cause I know I said some bad stuff,
but it's much better here than it was in Boston.Copy !req
246. And I have a cousin here. So even if my
parents do get divorced, I have you, right?Copy !req
247. George Michael realized
that no matter how much it upset him...Copy !req
248. he didn't want to take
Maeby's family away from her.Copy !req
249. - Yeah, you got us all right.
- Now all I need is a boyfriend.Copy !req
250. Lucille was left alone
with her oldest son at the courthouse.Copy !req
251. just you and me, huh?Copy !req
252. God, why am I the only one who
ever comes through in this family?Copy !req
253. And George Sr. was led into the courtroom.Copy !req
254. - Where the hell is everybody?
- I'm here, Dad.Copy !req
255. I can't believe no one showed up.
I don't know. Maybe it's for the best.Copy !req
256. Maybe I should just stay in prison
so my family can be free.Copy !req
257. - Look, you're my husband,
and you belong back at home with me.
- Wow.Copy !req
258. - You really love me.
- Call it what you want.Copy !req
259. I'm tired of paying Lupe
to clean one dish.Copy !req
260. I'm sorry, sorry. I'm so late.
I had another hearing.Copy !req
261. Here's the good news: I think I'm gonna
get off, huh? I have a good lawyer.Copy !req
262. { Smacks Kiss]
You look great in red. Okay.Copy !req
263. "Anyhoo," what are we doing here?
What's the plan?Copy !req
264. The plan? You're our lawyer.Copy !req
265. It's a figure of speech.
You're gonna be fine.Copy !req
266. Oh, for God's sake. He's on his own
for two days, and he joins a gang.Copy !req
267. These guys?
Oh, I've got them for the afternoon.Copy !req
268. Besides, they're the only thing
I have left to live for in this world.Copy !req
269. Oh, stop being so dramatic.
You know where I live.Copy !req
270. I wasn't talking about you, Mom.
I was talking about Marta.Copy !req
271. Excuse me.Copy !req
272. You were serious? 'Cause I got news for you, pal.
Marta's been interested in Michael.Copy !req
273. That's right... dull,
nothing-going-on-upstairs...Copy !req
274. - Michael.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
275. - I saw them making out at her front door.
- What? When?Copy !req
276. just now. Huh!Copy !req
277. The stuff I've got to work out with Marta
just keeps piling up.Copy !req
278. - Unbelievable.
- All rise.Copy !req
279. This court is now in session,
the Honorable Lionel Ping presiding.Copy !req
280. - Oh! We've got Ping.
- I want to remind you...Copy !req
281. that there are no cameras
allowed in my courtroom.Copy !req
282. Conspiracy, racketeering,
evidence tampering...Copy !req
283. fraud, theft,
grand theft, petty theft...Copy !req
284. - { Barry] Wow. l-I did not get that page.
- resisting arrest...Copy !req
285. - Michael.
- resisting arrest at the scene.Copy !req
286. - How dare you!
- Now, come on. You said it was okay.
And nothing happened!Copy !req
287. - Oh, did I?
- Take it easy.Copy !req
288. - Order.!
- Is that my belt?Copy !req
289. - Well, so what? Get your hands off me.!
- What is your problem?Copy !req
290. { Overlapping Shouts,
Chatter]Copy !req
291. { Lucille] What are you doing? What's
the matter with you? Get off him! George!Copy !req
292. George Sr., having never heard his charges...Copy !req
293. listed consecutively in one sitting,
panicked and ran with great intensity.Copy !req
294. Michael and Gob continued their fight
onto the courthouse steps.Copy !req
295. { Lucille]
Stop it before someone gets hit in the face!Copy !req
296. Buster realized this was his opportunity
to fulfill a longtime fantasy.Copy !req
297. - { Growling]
- Oh, for God's sake! Barry!Copy !req
298. Barry, too, felt overwhelmed
by the charges leveled against his client...Copy !req
299. - and also took flight.
- What are you doing?
They'll add ten years to your sentence.Copy !req
300. - and also took flight.
- What are you doing?
They'll add ten years to your sentence.Copy !req
301. They'll never catch me!Copy !req
302. Oh, good. We better get you
back in your cell.Copy !req
303. It's gettin' kind of crazy out there.Copy !req
304. Back at the model home, things
were heating up for Lindsay and Tobias as well.Copy !req
305. - I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.
- For me, Tobias.Copy !req
306. That too.Copy !req
307. - You did it.
- Now what?Copy !req
308. - Now this.
- And for the first time in years...Copy !req
309. Lindsay and Tobias became intimate.Copy !req
310. The brothers'fight, meanwhile,
continued into the park...Copy !req
311. with Buster still hoping
to take a punch.Copy !req
312. - { Gob] I'll kill you!
- { Buster] Oh, God!Copy !req
313. - Go, go, go, go!
- Lucille had decided that perhaps...Copy !req
314. she was better off
without any of them.Copy !req
315. - Me! Me, me, me!
- Buster, get out of the way!Copy !req
316. { Buster] Hit me in the face!
Hit me in the face! Hit me in the face!Copy !req
317. - Please.! Hit me in the face.!
- No! Buster!Copy !req
318. - Aah! Buster!
- While Marta...Copy !req
319. who'd been told the hearing would last
10 minutes, got tired of waiting.Copy !req
320. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
321. - Marta.
- Marta.Copy !req
322. What is wrong with you? I thought you were
good people. I thought you were noble.Copy !req
323. I thought you cared about family,
but you clearly don't.Copy !req
324. l-It's over.
Both of you. It's over.Copy !req
325. Wait, wait.
What about, what about me?Copy !req
326. I'm sorry.
I'm not totally sure who you are.Copy !req
327. Wow! Wow.Copy !req
328. That's what it feels like
to get punched in the face.Copy !req
329. - Can you believe that?
- Yeah, lecturing us about family.Copy !req
330. I mean, who needs that?Copy !req
331. And what are we doing?
Hey, we're brothers.Copy !req
332. - That's gotta count for something.
- That counts for everything.Copy !req
333. - I'm not gonna throw it away over some woman.
- Heh! Especially not my woman.Copy !req
334. - Hmm?
- But you're right, you're right.
I mean, this is what's real.Copy !req
335. - This is what lasts. Everything else is just petty.
- Yeah, totally beneath us.Copy !req
336. - Yeah.
- And by the way, I don't know
how you call her your woman...Copy !req
337. when she clearly prefers me, and she was
all prepared to be my girlfriend...Copy !req
338. - calling me her boyfriend...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey!Copy !req
339. - Hang on one second.
- This is all moot, because she
never got a chance to know me.Copy !req
340. Now, will someone please have the decency
to punch me in the face?Copy !req
341. Aah!Copy !req
342. - Well, it's effective.
- Yeah, it really is.Copy !req
343. On the next
Arrested Development.Copy !req
344. - Tobias quietly overcompensates.
- { Yawning]Copy !req
345. Please tell me
there's some coffee left.Copy !req
346. { Groans]
Give me some.Copy !req
347. I slept very well
last night.Copy !req