1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...Copy !req
2. and the one son
who had no choice...Copy !req
3. but to keep them all together.Copy !req
4. It's Arrested Development.Copy !req
5. Michael Bluth was
infatuated with his brother's girlfriend, Marta...Copy !req
6. a Spanish-language
soap opera star.Copy !req
7. But when he found out she was interested
in a man named Hermano, he confronted her.Copy !req
8. Unfortunately, he discovered too late...Copy !req
9. that "hermano"
in Spanish meant "brother,"Copy !req
10. and the person Marta was infatuated with
was, in fact, himself.Copy !req
11. This was distracting Michael the next day when
he went to meet his father's attorney at prison.Copy !req
12. Look, there is nothing to it.
It's an arraignment.Copy !req
13. They announce the charges.
However, it would help if you all showed up...Copy !req
14. Iooking like a loving,
supportive family.Copy !req
15. - For how long?
- Ten minutes, tops.Copy !req
16. See if you can
get it down to five.Copy !req
17. You know, maybe I should confess
these crimes, save everybody the trouble.Copy !req
18. Oh, get off the mount. You're coming home,
guilty or somehow found not guilty.Copy !req
19. Hello?Copy !req
20. What the hell is going on? I'm waiting to
hear about Marta and this Hermano guy.Copy !req
21. Yeah, I checked it out.
I do not think that she's cheating.Copy !req
22. - I'm going over to Marta's.
- No, no, no. Don't do that, okay?Copy !req
23. just lay low, be cool
and I'll talk to her again.Copy !req
24. - That way you won't look so desperate, you know?
- You're a good guy, mon frère.Copy !req
25. That means "brother" in French.Copy !req
26. I don't know why I know that.
I took four years of Spanish.Copy !req
27. So Michael went to speak with Marta...Copy !req
28. about the misunderstanding
from the night before.Copy !req
29. - I owe you an apology.
- No, I owe you an apology.Copy !req
30. I'm so ashamed that
I was so disrespectful to your brother.Copy !req
31. Oh, who cares?
Nobody respects him.Copy !req
32. You see, Marta, I have been interested
in you since the first day that we met.Copy !req
33. - Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
34. It doesn't matter.Copy !req
35. We live by a code, you and l...
to honor family.Copy !req
36. Yes. That's one of the things that attracted
me to you... your sense of right and wrong.Copy !req
37. I also like your hair
and your face and your breasts.Copy !req
38. - You're so unlike your brother.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
39. - Gob is like the cock of the walk. But not you.
- You are so kind.Copy !req
40. - You're sensitive, like a woman.
- That's enough.Copy !req
41. We do have to do
the right thing.Copy !req
42. - And being together is the wrong thing.
- Very, very...Copy !req
43. wrong.Copy !req
44. - Is that Gob?
- He likes to make love to this.Copy !req
45. - I'm gonna turn this off.
- Please.Copy !req
46. Oh!Copy !req
47. - Gob's wand.
- Oh, this... this is so wrong.Copy !req
48. - Yes.
- No, no, no. Not-Not-Not... Not... Not hot wrong.Copy !req
49. - You know, regular wrong. I gotta tell Gob.
- No, I have to tell him.Copy !req
50. Yes, but you speak a little slowly, and I
really want to get this thing moving along.Copy !req
51. So, listen, you do the noble thing, and you
tell him that you've met somebody else.Copy !req
52. I'm gonna do the noble thing
and tell him that it's me.Copy !req
53. While I'm doing my noble thing you could put
those photos in a box, get rid of the wand...Copy !req
54. and we can do the wrong thing
the right way.Copy !req
55. And Maeby was getting tired
ofher parents'constant fighting.Copy !req
56. I'm saying every time something
starts to go well for you, you blow it.Copy !req
57. Nothing has ever gone well for me,
and you know that!Copy !req
58. That's my point,
you handsome cowboy, you.Copy !req
59. Oh, great. And now you're mocking me,
you selfish, country-music-loving lady.Copy !req
60. Hello, Maeby.Copy !req
61. Nice cover. Why don't you two just get
a divorce and save us all a lot of grief?Copy !req
62. The night before, Tobias and Lindsay
had chosen to sleep in separate rooms...Copy !req
63. and Tobias had dropped
an intriguing bit of information.Copy !req
64. And then, of course, we couldn't conceive,
so there was that famous ordeal.Copy !req
65. What do you mean, you couldn't conceive?
Was Maeby adopted?Copy !req
66. Is she not really related to me?
Is she just some girl I know?Copy !req
67. George Michael never got an answer.
- It's Carl Weathers.Copy !req
68. So he set about doing some
investigating on his own.Copy !req
69. - Hey, have you ever seen any
pictures of your mom pregnant?
- Don't talk to me about my mom.Copy !req
70. She's crazy.
Both of them are.Copy !req
71. - Sometimes I wish we weren't even related.
- Hey, you know, maybe we're not.Copy !req
72. Because, I mean, when you think about it,
we don't even really look like each other.Copy !req
73. No, I was talking
about my parents.Copy !req
74. God, what's wrong
with this family?Copy !req
75. Maybe we're not a family.Copy !req
76. And maybe that's
very, very right. We...Copy !req
77. Uncle Gob.
Hey, uh, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?Copy !req
78. Oh, yeah. Dozens of times.
Hey, is your dad around, or...Copy !req
79. - Hey, Gob. Marta call?
- She sure has...Copy !req
80. four times,
but I didn't take the calls.Copy !req
81. Oh, no? Why not?Copy !req
82. - Because of you. You said to lay low.
And it's working.
- Great.Copy !req
83. Tell you what, you may not be good with women,
but you are great with other people's women.Copy !req
84. I'll give you that.
- No! Listen, Gob,
you can't just ignore her.Copy !req
85. Maybe you should talk to her.
She is your girlfriend.Copy !req
86. Exactly. And I want
to keep it that way.Copy !req
87. For all I know, she's calling to break up with me.
I don't answer the phone, that doesn't happen.Copy !req
88. And it's all because of you, fratello.
That's Italian for brother.Copy !req
89. Now all I gotta do
is find this Hermano guy.Copy !req
90. - I'm gonna kill him.
- Hey, Brother.Copy !req
91. - Hey, Busty.
- Hey, Brother.Copy !req
92. - Hey, Buster.
- Gob, there's no need for violence.Copy !req
93. There never is. I'd like to think
that we're all intelligent, mature...Copy !req
94. adults that can settle
their differences...Copy !req
95. whenever they might come to light,
through words.Copy !req
96. Yeah, well, I let my fists
do the talking.Copy !req
97. Not this one, 'cause obviously,
I need it for coin tricks and stuff.Copy !req
98. - But this one, I let it speak for both of them.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
99. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball
and remain motionless when confronted.Copy !req
100. That's what I did in high school
when I almost got into a fight.Copy !req
101. - I think that was about being attacked by bears.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
102. Hey, rich kid.
Gimme your lunch money.Copy !req
103. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like
to get into a fight today.Copy !req
104. - You'd be a much bigger ball.
- There is so much in life
that I have not experienced.Copy !req
105. And now that I'm away from Mom,
I feel like this is my chance to live.Copy !req
106. I want to dance. I want to make love
to a woman. I want to get a checking account.Copy !req
107. I want to know what
it feels like to get my face socked in.Copy !req
108. Michael, don't get that! That could be Marta!Copy !req
109. What? Oop! Too late. Hello?Copy !req
110. - Michael?
- Oh, hi, Mom.Copy !req
111. - I'm not here.
- Is that Buster? Tell him I'm fine without him.Copy !req
112. Why haven't you called me back?
I'm worried about your father's hearing.Copy !req
113. Mom, listen, it's gonna be fine.
I'm on it, okay? I'm taking care of it.Copy !req
114. - I'll be there first thing Friday morning.
- It's tomorrow at 4:30.Copy !req
115. - Oh. I should write that down.
- Where is your head, Michael?Copy !req
116. Everything's gonna be fine.
They just read the charges...Copy !req
117. and we look like a loving family for,
like, six minutes.Copy !req
118. - Ten minutes.
- We couldn't get that down, huh?Copy !req
119. George Michael, meanwhile,
went to speak with Tobias.Copy !req
120. - This was just faxed to you.
- Oh, great! The rewrite.Copy !req
121. Let's see if they've
beefed up my part.Copy !req
122. I got three lines!Copy !req
123. So, uh, I've been thinking about that, uh... that
conversation we were having the other night...Copy !req
124. about, uh, where Maeby
came from, and, uh...Copy !req
125. I was just wondering if
you could finish that thought.Copy !req
126. Yes, okay.
Uh, well, have a seat.Copy !req
127. Uh...Copy !req
128. Um...Copy !req
129. When a man...Copy !req
130. needs to prove to a woman
that he's actually...Copy !req
131. When a man loves a woman...Copy !req
132. and he actually wants
to make love, uh, to her...Copy !req
133. something very,
very special happens.Copy !req
134. And, uh, with deep,
deep concentration...Copy !req
135. - and-and great focus,
he's often able to achieve an erec...
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
136. I'm gonna stop you.
I know where you're running.Copy !req
137. l-I didn't mean
babies in general.Copy !req
138. Oh, well, that's good,
'cause it was about to get a little, ick, gross.Copy !req
139. - Yeah. No, I meant specifically with Maeby.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
140. - This isn't right.
- I know. You're right.Copy !req
141. - I'm sorry.
- No, no. It says it's a shower scene.Copy !req
142. I'm not supposed to be in a shower scene.
It has nudity.Copy !req
143. Tobias was a never-nude,
which is exactly what it sounds like.Copy !req
144. I don't do nudity.
It says that right on my résumé. Okay?Copy !req
145. What... What do you think
I wear these for?Copy !req
146. I was never actually
clear on that.Copy !req
147. So, you're, uh...
you're not with Marta anymore?Copy !req
148. Well, my plan is to get her wanting me
but bad, and then I spring it on her.Copy !req
149. I know you've been cheating on me,
and you just cost yourself one fine man...Copy !req
150. - and one fine CD of him singing
"Love is in the Air."
- Well, I would never, uh...Copy !req
151. do this while you were
still going out, but, uh...Copy !req
152. if you're done with her,
I'd sure like a crack at her.Copy !req
153. Right, right.
That sounds great. Go for it, buddy.Copy !req
154. But you know that she's kind of
used to being with me, right?Copy !req
155. So, it'd be sort of like
going from prime rib to...Copy !req
156. I don't know...
weird brother of prime rib.Copy !req
157. - Do you even know her?
- I met her. I fell for her.Copy !req
158. I've been watching her program, El Amor
Prohibido... The Love That Is Forbidden.Copy !req
159. She is the love that's forbidden.Copy !req
160. The love of my hermano.Copy !req
161. Wait a second. What?
You know Hermano?Copy !req
162. "Hermano" is brother in Spanish.
As in, "Hey, hermano."Copy !req
163. - Huh.
- Brother?Copy !req
164. - Hermano means brother?
- Yeah.Copy !req
165. Well, sounds like hermano
is about to get his ass kicked.Copy !req
166. Well, this is what I said I wanted.Copy !req
167. So, all right. Let's get it over with. Huh!Copy !req
168. Uh, so, are you gonna hit me?Copy !req
169. No, I'm not gonna hit you. You're not
the brother Marta's cheating on me with.Copy !req
170. - Oh. Oh, who is?
- How the hell should I know, Buster?Copy !req
171. You know, there is a guy who plays
her older brother on her show.Copy !req
172. I think his name is Tio.Copy !req
173. Tio.Copy !req
174. Well, sounds like someone who you
think's name is Tio...Copy !req
175. is about to get his ass kicked.Copy !req
176. Thanks for the tip, Buster.Copy !req
177. All right, Mom. I'll be sure to tell Buster.
Right. Bye. Mom wanted me to tell you...Copy !req
178. that she doesn't care whether you live or die,
but if you're not dead...Copy !req
179. she would like to see you at the courthouse
tomorrow in the blue sweater.Copy !req
180. - Damn! I hate the blue sweater.
- She said it would look nice with the gray pants.Copy !req
181. - Damn it! She's right!
- Where's Gob?Copy !req
182. - I think he's heading down to the set
of Marta's soap opera.
- What?Copy !req
183. She may be cheating on him
with the guy who plays her brother.Copy !req
184. I mean, I still like her,
but we're gonna have to deal with this.Copy !req
185. - I gotta go stop him.
- And I've got a blue sweater to steam.Copy !req
186. - Good luck.
- Thanks.Copy !req
187. Gob raced to confront Tio,
with Michael in hot pursuit.Copy !req
188. George Michael, having failed to get
the information he needed from anyone else...Copy !req
189. made the ultimate sacrifice
and went to the keeper of the family secrets.Copy !req
190. - So, uh, it's about Maeby.
- Oh! That's a lost cause.Copy !req
191. - But you get what you pay for, huh?
- Yeah.Copy !req
192. - Wait. What-What do you mean, "pay"?
- Fertility tests, lab fees...Copy !req
193. donors and implants.Copy !req
194. She's not real.
She was made in a cup.Copy !req
195. Like soup... a hundred and thirty
thousand dollar cup of soup.Copy !req
196. How do you like them egg rolls,
Mr. Goldstone?Copy !req
197. All I know is it took an extra year
before we could add a den.Copy !req
198. So are you saying we're
not directly related?Copy !req
199. I'm saying she already spent
her inheritance getting here.Copy !req
200. Gob, meanwhile, had finally
shown up at the El Amor Prohibido set.Copy !req
201. Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor
who plays Marta's brother, Tio.Copy !req
202. - ? Cómo?
- Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right.Copy !req
203. Unfortunately, the actor who played Tio...Copy !req
204. had also starred in a Mexican film
about the life of Oscar De La Hoya.Copy !req
205. Gob. Hey, hey.Copy !req
206. - You all right?
- Where am I? Am I in...
two-thirds of a hospital room?Copy !req
207. Yeah, listen, um...Copy !req
208. It's me.Copy !req
209. I'm the guy that she likes.
"Hermano" is brother.Copy !req
210. Me.Copy !req
211. - Well, if I'd known it was you,
I wouldn't have minded.
- You wouldn't?Copy !req
212. Michael, you're a great guy.Copy !req
213. If you liked her, I would have said,
"Go for it."Copy !req
214. I do kind of like her.Copy !req
215. Go for it.Copy !req
216. Hi.Copy !req
217. My brother said
we can do it.Copy !req
218. That didn't come out as romantic
as I'd hoped, but...Copy !req
219. Everything is finally perfect.Copy !req
220. Oh, wait. You jinxed it.
Don't worry. I'll turn it off.Copy !req
221. Mm. It's just my mother. She's probably
worried about my Dad's... hearing.Copy !req
222. Oh. With my Dad,
it is the vision.Copy !req
223. Meanwhile, Tobias told Lindsay
that he couldn't do the part.Copy !req
224. - It plays naked, okay?
- Tobias, we're gonna have to deal
with this sometime.Copy !req
225. I understand you not
wanting to do it on film...Copy !req
226. - but you can't even get undressed in front of me.
- It is not you, Lindsay.Copy !req
227. I can't get undressed alone.
I can't get undressed by myself.Copy !req
228. I mean, this is a real affliction.
I'm sorry it's not recognized here in the states.Copy !req
229. But I know for a fact that there are
two members of German Parliament.Copy !req
230. They're called
"nein wohlstandig" nude.Copy !req
231. But they're German, so...
They speak German, so they have a different...Copy !req
232. Yeah, well, it's not normal,
and ignoring it isn't gonna make it go away.Copy !req
233. You've got nothing
to be ashamed of.Copy !req
234. Please, please don't make fun.Copy !req
235. I'm not making fun.Copy !req
236. Look, how 'bout we
do this together?Copy !req
237. You take off your shirt,
and I'll take off my jacket.Copy !req
238. You know, this family can be pretty
screwed up sometimes. But the good news is...Copy !req
239. Actually, I used to think that, too,
but it's better than the alternative.Copy !req
240. Well, have you explored all the alternatives?
'Cause I guess what I'm getting at is...Copy !req
241. No, but I'm glad I have
this family, you know?Copy !req
242. 'Cause I know I said some bad stuff,
but it's much better here than it was in Boston.Copy !req
243. And I have a cousin here. So even if my
parents do get divorced, I have you, right?Copy !req
244. George Michael realized
that no matter how much it upset him...Copy !req
245. he didn't want to take
Maeby's family away from her.Copy !req
246. - Yeah, you got us all right.
- Now all I need is a boyfriend.Copy !req
247. Lucille was left alone
with her oldest son at the courthouse.Copy !req
248. just you and me, huh?Copy !req
249. God, why am I the only one who
ever comes through in this family?Copy !req
250. And George Sr. was led into the courtroom.Copy !req
251. - Where the hell is everybody?
- I'm here, Dad.Copy !req
252. I can't believe no one showed up.
I don't know. Maybe it's for the best.Copy !req
253. Maybe I should just stay in prison
so my family can be free.Copy !req
254. - Look, you're my husband,
and you belong back at home with me.
- Wow.Copy !req
255. - You really love me.
- Call it what you want.Copy !req
256. I'm tired of paying Lupe
to clean one dish.Copy !req
257. I'm sorry, sorry. I'm so late.
I had another hearing.Copy !req
258. I think I'm gonna
get off, huh? I have a good lawyer.Copy !req
259. You look great in red. Okay.Copy !req
260. "Anyhoo," what are we doing here?
What's the plan?Copy !req
261. The plan? You're our lawyer.Copy !req
262. It's a figure of speech.
You're gonna be fine.Copy !req
263. Oh, for God's sake. He's on his own
for two days, and he joins a gang.Copy !req
264. These guys?
Oh, I've got them for the afternoon.Copy !req
265. Besides, they're the only thing
I have left to live for in this world.Copy !req
266. Oh, stop being so dramatic.
You know where I live.Copy !req
267. I wasn't talking about you, Mom.
I was talking about Marta.Copy !req
268. Excuse me.Copy !req
269. You were serious? 'Cause I got news for you, pal.
Marta's been interested in Michael.Copy !req
270. That's right... dull,
nothing-going-on-upstairs...Copy !req
271. - Michael.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
272. - I saw them making out at her front door.
- What? When?Copy !req
273. just now. Huh!Copy !req
274. The stuff I've got to work out with Marta
just keeps piling up.Copy !req
275. - Unbelievable.
- All rise.Copy !req
276. This court is now in session,
the Honorable Lionel Ping presiding.Copy !req
277. - Oh! We've got Ping.
- I want to remind you...Copy !req
278. that there are no cameras
allowed in my courtroom.Copy !req
279. Conspiracy, racketeering,
evidence tampering...Copy !req
280. fraud, theft,
grand theft, petty theft...Copy !req
281. - Wow. l-I did not get that page.
- resisting arrest...Copy !req
282. - Michael.
- resisting arrest at the scene.Copy !req
283. - How dare you!
- Now, come on. You said it was okay.
And nothing happened!Copy !req
284. - Oh, did I?
- Take it easy.Copy !req
285. - Order!
- Is that my belt?Copy !req
286. - Well, so what? Get your hands off me!
- What is your problem?Copy !req
287. What are you doing? What's
the matter with you? Get off him! George!Copy !req
288. George Sr., having never heard his charges...Copy !req
289. listed consecutively in one sitting,
panicked and ran with great intensity.Copy !req
290. Michael and Gob continued their fight
onto the courthouse steps.Copy !req
291. Stop it before someone gets hit in the face!Copy !req
292. Buster realized this was his opportunity
to fulfill a longtime fantasy.Copy !req
293. Oh, for God's sake! Barry!Copy !req
294. Barry, too, felt overwhelmed
by the charges leveled against his client...Copy !req
295. - and also took flight.
- What are you doing?
They'll add ten years to your sentence.Copy !req
296. - and also took flight.
- What are you doing?
They'll add ten years to your sentence.Copy !req
297. They'll never catch me!Copy !req
298. Oh, good. We better get you
back in your cell.Copy !req
299. It's gettin' kind of crazy out there.Copy !req
300. Back at the model home, things
were heating up for Lindsay and Tobias as well.Copy !req
301. - I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.
- For me, Tobias.Copy !req
302. That too.Copy !req
303. - You did it.
- Now what?Copy !req
304. - Now this.
- And for the first time in years...Copy !req
305. Lindsay and Tobias became intimate.Copy !req
306. The brothers'fight, meanwhile,
continued into the park...Copy !req
307. with Buster still hoping
to take a punch.Copy !req
308. - I'll kill you!
- Oh, God!Copy !req
309. - Go, go, go, go!
- Lucille had decided that perhaps...Copy !req
310. she was better off
without any of them.Copy !req
311. - Me! Me, me, me!
- Buster, get out of the way!Copy !req
312. Hit me in the face!
Hit me in the face! Hit me in the face!Copy !req
313. - Please! Hit me in the face!
- No! Buster!Copy !req
314. - Aah! Buster!
- While Marta...Copy !req
315. who'd been told the hearing would last
10 minutes, got tired of waiting.Copy !req
316. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
317. - Marta.
- Marta.Copy !req
318. What is wrong with you? I thought you were
good people. I thought you were noble.Copy !req
319. I thought you cared about family,
but you clearly don't.Copy !req
320. l-It's over.
Both of you. It's over.Copy !req
321. Wait, wait.
What about, what about me?Copy !req
322. I'm sorry.
I'm not totally sure who you are.Copy !req
323. Wow! Wow.Copy !req
324. That's what it feels like
to get punched in the face.Copy !req
325. - Can you believe that?
- Yeah, lecturing us about family.Copy !req
326. I mean, who needs that?Copy !req
327. And what are we doing?
Hey, we're brothers.Copy !req
328. - That's gotta count for something.
- That counts for everything.Copy !req
329. - I'm not gonna throw it away over some woman.
- Heh! Especially not my woman.Copy !req
330. - Hmm?
- But you're right, you're right.
I mean, this is what's real.Copy !req
331. - This is what lasts. Everything else is just petty.
- Yeah, totally beneath us.Copy !req
332. - Yeah.
- And by the way, I don't know
how you call her your woman...Copy !req
333. when she clearly prefers me, and she was
all prepared to be my girlfriend...Copy !req
334. - calling me her boyfriend...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey!Copy !req
335. - Hang on one second.
- This is all moot, because she
never got a chance to know me.Copy !req
336. Now, will someone please have the decency
to punch me in the face?Copy !req
337. Aah!Copy !req
338. - Well, it's effective.
- Yeah, it really is.Copy !req
339. On the next
Arrested Development.Copy !req
340. Tobias quietly overcompensates.Copy !req
341. Please tell me
there's some coffee left.Copy !req
342. Give me some.Copy !req
343. I slept very well
last night.Copy !req