1. Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...Copy !req
2. and the one son
who had no choice...Copy !req
3. but to keep them all together.Copy !req
4. It's Arrested Development.Copy !req
5. Michael Bluth was taking his son...Copy !req
6. to an interview at the prestigious
Milford School...Copy !req
7. an institution
once famous for its credo...Copy !req
8. that children should be
"neither seen nor heard."Copy !req
9. "Woman."Copy !req
10. They're not getting in.Copy !req
11. - I might not get in either, and that
wouldn't be the end of the world.
- Shh.Copy !req
12. We're not even going down
that road, okay?Copy !req
13. The next four years
are all about your future...Copy !req
14. and that's the most
important thing to me, okay?Copy !req
15. Things have changed around here.
We have talking sessions throughout the day.Copy !req
16. We even have a talking room
where students are encouraged...Copy !req
17. to go in and talk
to their heart's content.Copy !req
18. - Sounds like fun.
- First thing he's said all day.Copy !req
19. The point is I'm not my father.Copy !req
20. I do think it's best
for the Milford School...Copy !req
21. to distance itself
from the Bluth name.Copy !req
22. It's... nothing personal.Copy !req
23. Are you talking about the fact
that my father is in jail?Copy !req
24. Because I don't like to be
compared to my father either.Copy !req
25. - I don't mind being compared to my father.
- Save it for the talk room.Copy !req
26. - Sorry.
- I can assure you that my family
is back on track...Copy !req
27. - and no longer in any trouble.
- Not according to today's paper.Copy !req
28. Oh, God.
What have we done this time?Copy !req
29. - Don't ever mention Klimpy's to me again.
- What did you do?Copy !req
30. If I still had money, I'd buy a Klimpy's
just to burn it to the ground.Copy !req
31. I know, Mom. You hate Klimpy's.
Tell me what happened.Copy !req
32. Your sister and I tried to get into
that new restaurant, Rud...Copy !req
33. and they wouldn't let us in.Copy !req
34. Mrs. Bluth, there's absolutely no room.Copy !req
35. Come on. I've suddenly lost my appetite.Copy !req
36. Oh, who's going to believe that?Copy !req
37. With her blood sugar at a perilous low...Copy !req
38. Lucille made Lindsay pull into
the nearest restaurant.Copy !req
39. Welcome to Klimpy's!
Anywhere you like!Copy !req
40. This does not bode well.Copy !req
41. - I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna.
- Plate or platter?Copy !req
42. - I don't understand the question,
and I won't respond to it.Copy !req
43. - And what would you like?
- I'd like my old life back.Copy !req
44. So there really was no fight?Copy !req
45. Well, one tiny thing at the end.Copy !req
46. - How can you treat me this way?
- Oh, please! Everything I've said about you...Copy !req
47. can be covered with makeup
and a lie about a thyroid problem.Copy !req
48. Good grief almighty!
You think I'm enjoying my slide into poverty?Copy !req
49. Sorry, Lindsay.
There goes your dessert.Copy !req
50. Why don't you eat it, Mother?Copy !req
51. Why don't you just take this cake
and shove it...Copy !req
52. Hey, who called the cops?Copy !req
53. It was all just a big misunderstanding.Copy !req
54. Totally blown out of proportion.Copy !req
55. Well, listen, I think it cost George Michael
a chance to go to the Milford School.Copy !req
56. Oh, big deal.
Buster's the only one who ever liked it.Copy !req
57. Buster so excelled at being
neither seen nor heard...Copy !req
58. that he remained at the school
undetected for a full two semesters...Copy !req
59. after he was supposed to graduate.Copy !req
60. Nonetheless, this bad press
is starting to taint my son's future...Copy !req
61. and we've got to put an end to it.Copy !req
62. Michael, if this is a lecture on how we're all
supposed to whatever and blah, blah, blah...Copy !req
63. well, you can save it
'cause we all know it by heart.Copy !req
64. - Good-bye, Missus.
- Lindsay, you'll be happy to know
that I have a new idea.Copy !req
65. I met a publicist today.
I'm gonna hire her.Copy !req
66. - We need somebody to make us look good.
- I say it's a waste of money.Copy !req
67. We're plenty sympathetic as we are.Copy !req
68. - Is this your onion?
- Yes.Copy !req
69. - What's in the foil?
- Nothing. It's a ball of foil for my son.Copy !req
70. Have a great day, sweetie.Copy !req
71. I don't know how she can't.Copy !req
72. So this publicist, Michael, is she cute?Copy !req
73. I never really noticed.
- In fact, Michael
had noticed her at the gym...Copy !req
74. but only recently gotten up
the nerve to talk to her...Copy !req
75. giving him a chance to work
on his flirting skills...Copy !req
76. - Race you to the top of the hill.
- which had gotten rusty over the years.Copy !req
77. - I'll race you to the top of the hill.
- I brought a picnic lunch.Copy !req
78. - Hey, that hill was really...
- Jessie Bowers.Copy !req
79. If you ever have any
public relations needs...Copy !req
80. My relations are already a little too public.
I'm Michael Bluth.Copy !req
81. - From the Bluth Company?
- That's right.Copy !req
82. I'm giving you my direct line.Copy !req
83. Okay, sure. She's...
She's cute, I suppose.Copy !req
84. I mean, now that you're making me
think about it, uh, she's cute.Copy !req
85. She's a cutie. She's a little cutie pie.
But I never really noticed.Copy !req
86. - Why don't you just ask her out?
- That's not an option.Copy !req
87. - 'Cause you're scared?
- No, because of George Michael.Copy !req
88. He still hasn't gotten over
losing his mother.Copy !req
89. I just want to get him through high school;
then we'll deal with me.Copy !req
90. So you didn't get any
while you were in high school...Copy !req
91. and now you're not gonna get any
while George Michael's in high school.Copy !req
92. And so the family gathered
at the model home...Copy !req
93. eager to hear
their new publicist's plan.Copy !req
94. - Get jobs and behave?
- Instead of us getting jobs...Copy !req
95. why don't you do your job and
tell everyone we've got jobs?Copy !req
96. - I have a job.
- Kiss ass.Copy !req
97. Well, we were all thinking it.Copy !req
98. Uh, I'm unclear about
what it is exactly you do.Copy !req
99. Excellent question.
A publicist...Copy !req
100. No, no. I was talking
to George Michael.Copy !req
101. When did you get a job?Copy !req
102. - At the banana stand.
- Oh! Duh.Copy !req
103. I thought you meant like
a plumber or something.Copy !req
104. And I was like, "When did that happen?"Copy !req
105. Jessie, why don't you just
go ahead andjump in here.Copy !req
106. It's a tough group
to keep focused.Copy !req
107. I'm going on the offensive.
I want to get an article in the paper...Copy !req
108. to show that this is a functional family
and a relatable family.Copy !req
109. Are we on? Hello!
Hello from prison!Copy !req
110. Thanks toJessie
for setting up this telelink.Copy !req
111. I've started a Torah study group.
I'm very excited about it.Copy !req
112. Looks like... I don't know... looks like
I have some possible converts.Copy !req
113. Your father's religious now?
We'll play that up.Copy !req
114. Your father's religious now?
We'll play that up.Copy !req
115. - It's very sympathetic.
- Yeah. Who doesn't love theJews?Copy !req
116. And it allows me to put
Michael front and center.Copy !req
117. He needs to be
the new face of this family.Copy !req
118. He's the only likable one
in the bunch. No offense.Copy !req
119. - None taken.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
120. Isn't Michael the least likable one
in the family?Copy !req
121. No. There are very few intelligent...Copy !req
122. attractive and straight men
in this town.Copy !req
123. Well, that certainly leaves me out.Copy !req
124. She... She said single.Copy !req
125. You did say "single," correct?
I thought l...Copy !req
126. I didn't quite hear that.
The reception is bad.Copy !req
127. But as the Talmud tells us...Copy !req
128. to the jackal as to an oxen.Copy !req
129. Did it get a laugh?Copy !req
130. Sorry. I'm still on the whole
Michael being likable thing.Copy !req
131. You know that he's only had sex
with, like, four women, right?Copy !req
132. Let's focus on your likability.Copy !req
133. You're going to start doing
some charity work with your magic.Copy !req
134. Actually, I'm kind of
the charitable one of the family.Copy !req
135. - I think it's best if you got a job.
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
136. I'm a parent. I care about my daughter every
bit as much as Michael cares about his son.Copy !req
137. What grade am I in?Copy !req
138. - What kind of job?
- Something where you'll be seen.Copy !req
139. I represent Cloudmir Vodka...Copy !req
140. and they want someone to promote it
by ordering it at a hot bar.Copy !req
141. - A place like Rud.
- Okay. I'll do it.Copy !req
142. And, Tobias,
you're a medical doctor...Copy !req
143. and you're living an absurd fantasy
as an actor.Copy !req
144. - It's time to get real.
- Wow.Copy !req
145. It's tough talk, but I like it.Copy !req
146. You're saying land a major film.Copy !req
147. I'm saying get your medical license back.Copy !req
148. I've set up a hearing
for tomorrow in Boston.Copy !req
149. - Michael has generously donated $1,100
for your trip.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
150. I truly believe that the universe wants me
to be an actor and not a doctor.Copy !req
151. - I'm just waiting for a sign.
- Here's your cash.Copy !req
152. - Universal Shuttle picks you up at 8:00.
- Any sign, really.Copy !req
153. Sorry. Some of my students
are arguing the significance...Copy !req
154. of the shank bone
on the seder plate.Copy !req
155. But that... Not... not wag our genitals
at one another to make a point.Copy !req
156. - Thought provoking.
- And, Lucille, people think you're cold.Copy !req
157. Hanukkah can be spelled so many ways. Oh, God!Copy !req
158. - Buster.
- Right here. Ready to go.Copy !req
159. At your service.
Get me out there.Copy !req
160. I want you to stay in.Copy !req
161. People find you
odd and alienating.Copy !req
162. You make them uneasy.
Stay out of the spotlight.Copy !req
163. I shall be neither seen nor heard.
Watch me.Copy !req
164. You can always tell a Milford man.Copy !req
165. Each with their new charge...Copy !req
166. the Bluths set about
redefining their image.Copy !req
167. Tobias was off to Los Angeles
International Airport...Copy !req
168. determined to return
to his family with a career.Copy !req
169. Well, this is great.Copy !req
170. Why would anybody take a limo?Copy !req
171. What is this, like, $12?Copy !req
172. Why would anybody pay more than $12
to go to the airport?Copy !req
173. Next stop, LAX.Copy !req
174. Come on! We're stopping again?
How many more stops are we gonna make?Copy !req
175. Honestly, I haven't even seen
this part of Los Ang... Is that snow?Copy !req
176. Really, now. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
177. I paid 12 American...
Oh, my God.Copy !req
178. You are Carl Weathers, the actor.Copy !req
179. I went to San Francisco to attend
your stage fighting workshop.Copy !req
180. - But you never showed up.
- I got bumped from that flight.Copy !req
181. Hell, they'll give you $300
if you get bumped.Copy !req
182. It's this crazy loophole in the system
that the wrong guy discovered.Copy !req
183. Guess where I won't be going.Copy !req
184. Yeah. So...Copy !req
185. I am an actor too.Copy !req
186. - Oh. Good.
- Well, I want to be.Copy !req
187. Without the proper training,
I'm afraid I'm doomed to be a doctor.Copy !req
188. Well, hell, I can train you.Copy !req
189. Oh, well, I'm afraid
all I have is $1,100...Copy !req
190. and that's for this plane ticket, so...Copy !req
191. Check this out. $1,100 is exactly
what I charge for acting classes.Copy !req
192. - No, it isn't!
- Yeah.Copy !req
193. What are the chance...Copy !req
194. Universe, you've done it again.Copy !req
195. Meanwhile, Gob was beginning
his charity work at a local nursing home.Copy !req
196. I'm gonna need a volunteer
for my next illusion, the Aztec Tomb!Copy !req
197. - A tomb?
- Or box. Box is... fine.Copy !req
198. Oh, yes! Well, excellent.
Let's get you in the box.Copy !req
199. There's a panel.Copy !req
200. just flip it around, curl up behind it,
don't make any noise.Copy !req
201. Ancient lore has it the Aztec gods
put a curse on any man who dare...Copy !req
202. - What?
- He's gone.Copy !req
203. Buster was also
doing his share for the family.Copy !req
204. And Michael, atJessie's insistence,
was out on the town.Copy !req
205. I haven't been out to dinner in so long,
I feel a little guilty.Copy !req
206. You have nothing
to be guilty about.Copy !req
207. You're the only one in your family
who's ever been responsible.Copy !req
208. Well, I'm certainly the only one
that's ever held a real job.Copy !req
209. Oh, really, Michael? Watch this.Copy !req
210. Wow! This Cloudmir's
making me think fuzzy.Copy !req
211. I have almost no judgment at all.Copy !req
212. - Two more Cloudmirs, please.
- "Only one with a real job."Copy !req
213. jessie, you've really been doing
a great job with my family.Copy !req
214. - Oh, good. Get one of Michael and me on a date.
- Sure.Copy !req
215. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.Copy !req
216. A date? This is a date now?
I thought this was just business.Copy !req
217. Can't it be a little bit of both?Copy !req
218. How will I know
which part of it is business?Copy !req
219. Uh-oh.Copy !req
220. Can't wait to see
which part of it is a date.Copy !req
221. Show me business again.Copy !req
222. What you doing?Copy !req
223. just trying to get the TVworking.Copy !req
224. Oh, yeah, I tried that earlier.
I think it's still hooked up to the prison.Copy !req
225. So when those guys kept saying,
"Hey, you, boy," that was me?Copy !req
226. - I was the boy?
- Sounds like it.Copy !req
227. Have you told your dad
you don't want to go to that school?Copy !req
228. I'm thinking of just going. I mean,
the graduates go on to do great things.Copy !req
229. I suppose, but that means we won't
be going to the same high school.Copy !req
230. Man, it just keeps getting worse.Copy !req
231. - But he's my Dad.
I don't want to disappoint him.
- Man.Copy !req
232. You and I are so different.
It's like we're not even related.Copy !req
233. That'd be amazing.Copy !req
234. Oh, my God.Copy !req
235. - Hey, buddy.
- Hey, Dad.Copy !req
236. I'm sorry that I'm so late,
but I was with Jessie.Copy !req
237. This girl's making some serious progress
in getting you into that school.Copy !req
238. She just booked Gob a gig
at Earl Milford's nursing home.Copy !req
239. - You're gonna be a shoo-in.
- Oh.Copy !req
240. She's kinda something, isn't she?Copy !req
241. Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
242. I mean, you know, hey,
she is no replacement for your mom.Copy !req
243. - Oh, no. No way.
- Not at all.Copy !req
244. - She's just working for us.
You're not dating her.
- No, I am not dating her.Copy !req
245. Absolutely not dating her.Copy !req
246. just you and me.
The Bluth boys.Copy !req
247. Bluth boys.Copy !req
248. - Good night, buddy.
- Good night.Copy !req
249. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
250. - Is he in bed?
- He's on his way.Copy !req
251. Hey, listen, listen,
listen, listen.Copy !req
252. This might be moving
a little bit too fast for him.Copy !req
253. I mean for... for us.Copy !req
254. Me. Uh, for me.Copy !req
255. Maybe we should
take a step back...Copy !req
256. and just keep
this relationship professional.Copy !req
257. - Oh, I think that would take all the fun out of it.
- No. Seriously, seriously.Copy !req
258. You're amazing...Copy !req
259. - but I just think we should slow down.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
260. So the two months on the bike,
that was, what, for my health?Copy !req
261. We had great conversations.Copy !req
262. - Seriously, this is hard for me.
- This is hard for me too.Copy !req
263. I've got a life to get on track,
and I don't like wasting time, so let's do this.Copy !req
264. Let's take two steps back...Copy !req
265. and why don't you find yourself
a new publicist.Copy !req
266. jessie.Copy !req
267. No. I was just saying your name
as you walked away. I didn't...Copy !req
268. I have no follow-up.Copy !req
269. Jessie.Copy !req
270. Michael felt bad...Copy !req
271. - but he felt even worse
when he got a call from his brother.
- Hello.Copy !req
272. It's Gob. I'm looking forJessie.Copy !req
273. - She just left. What's wrong?
- I need her to spin something for me.Copy !req
274. Well, that's too bad
because I think she quit.Copy !req
275. - What do you need her to spin?
- Murder.Copy !req
276. Michael was summoned to help his brother.Copy !req
277. - Murder, huh? Who died?
- My career.Copy !req
278. - I'm going to go home now.
- I lost a guy.Copy !req
279. I put him in the Aztec Tomb,
and he disappeared.Copy !req
280. - Isn't that the point?
- This will ruin me.Copy !req
281. - He's probably fine. He just escaped.
- No! I need Jessie!Copy !req
282. Well, she quit when I told her
that I couldn't go out with her.Copy !req
283. You know, I have to do
the right thing for my son.Copy !req
284. Then you better get her back
because the guy I lost was Earl Milford.Copy !req
285. - What?
- I didn't know it was him.Copy !req
286. Although he was
spectacularly quiet in there.Copy !req
287. You can always tell a Milford man.Copy !req
288. Gob, have you destroyed my chance
at getting my son in that school?Copy !req
289. Not with the right spin.Copy !req
290. jessie. Get her back.Copy !req
291. Charged with the task
of renewing his medical license...Copy !req
292. Tobias was enjoying his first acting class
with Carl Weathers.Copy !req
293. I don't know what your police captain
told you about me...Copy !req
294. but I'm a different breed of cop.Copy !req
295. I'm from the streets,
and I'm the last cop...Copy !req
296. you're ever gonna wanna
mess with in a darkened alley.Copy !req
297. Dark alley. And l...Copy !req
298. Listen, Mr. Weathers,
I don't know.Copy !req
299. Perhaps my wife was right.Copy !req
300. I don't know if I'm cut out to be a...
a De Niro...Copy !req
301. or a Regis or a Pinkett-Smith
or what have you.Copy !req
302. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tobias.Copy !req
303. Dreams are worth fighting for.Copy !req
304. Now, are you gonna be a fighter,
or are you gonna be a doctor?Copy !req
305. You're right, Carl Weathers.Copy !req
306. I should just march into that restaurant
where my wife works and tell her...Copy !req
307. Your wife works in a restaurant?
Do they get a shift meal...Copy !req
308. or do they just pay half-price
on select menu items?Copy !req
309. - I don't know.
- Well, let's find out, man.Copy !req
310. And the press got hold of Gob's story.Copy !req
311. - Where is Earl Milford?
- l... I don't know, all right?Copy !req
312. I put him in a box.
I didn't kill him, all right?Copy !req
313. And don't edit this for your broadcast
so it looks like I'm screaming...Copy !req
314. "I killed Earl Milford."Copy !req
315. Startling confession,
tonight at 11:00.Copy !req
316. Minutes later, Gob unloaded his equipment...Copy !req
317. and made a surprising discovery.Copy !req
318. Don't send me back.
They abuse us. It's not pleasant.Copy !req
319. Earl, I have to take you back.Copy !req
320. - It's the only way to clear my name.
- You'll have a new name:Copy !req
321. - Hero.
- Hero.Copy !req
322. That could work for me.Copy !req
323. Meanwhile, Jessie decided
to pay George Michael a visit.Copy !req
324. Hi, George Michael.
Proud of yourself?Copy !req
325. Yeah. I got a bum away from the stand
without hurting his feelings.Copy !req
326. - That was pretty sweet.
- No. I mean about your father.Copy !req
327. About denying him
his chance to be happy.Copy !req
328. You're into that too?
I'm rubbing off on you, huh?Copy !req
329. No. I want my dad to be happy.Copy !req
330. It's too late now.
I've seen to that.Copy !req
331. Daddy lost his shot at happy,
and it's all your fault, Opie.Copy !req
332. Jessie had gone too far,
and she had best watch her mouth.Copy !req
333. Michael's about to become
the most unlikable man in town.Copy !req
334. Check the papers.Copy !req
335. She kind of reminds me of my mother.Copy !req
336. And later that night,
Lindsay was working at Rud.Copy !req
337. You seem like a man of taste and class.Copy !req
338. I'll give you $2,000 to touch me.Copy !req
339. Oh, my God. My husband.Copy !req
340. Oh, my God. My husband.Copy !req
341. You're married to Carl Weathers?Copy !req
342. What's going on? Why are you here?
Why aren't you in Boston?Copy !req
343. - Who's he?
- His name is Carl Weathers,
and he's my new acting teacher.Copy !req
344. And, Lindsay, he's teaching me
all these valuable life lessons.Copy !req
345. - I buy all my cars at police auction.
- He's full of stuff like that.Copy !req
346. And, Lindsay, he's teaching me
to follow my dreams.Copy !req
347. Give me a bourbon.Copy !req
348. Any room on that tab
for me to jump on?Copy !req
349. And Michael caught up with Jessie.Copy !req
350. Listen, thanks for coming.Copy !req
351. I was just...
I was doing some thinking.Copy !req
352. You know, I pulled away,
and that was wrong.Copy !req
353. - I really want to make this work.
- Get away from my son!Copy !req
354. Hey, Mom.
Kind of on a date here.Copy !req
355. You'll change your mind after this.Copy !req
356. And Michael saw the story
thatJessie had planted.Copy !req
357. Let me tell you something, sweetie.Copy !req
358. We may pick on each other,
get into little scrapes...Copy !req
359. call each other names and
occasionally steal from each other...Copy !req
360. but that's because we're a family.Copy !req
361. You have no right.
You don't get to do that.Copy !req
362. "Lindsay's a combative,
entitled princess"?Copy !req
363. I should hire somebody
to kick your ass for that.Copy !req
364. - Save your money.
- Yeah, you're right. I'll do it myself.Copy !req
365. Hey, whoa! We are not settling things
like that anymore, all right?Copy !req
366. - I don't need my son reading about us
in the paper.
- Oh, you and your son.Copy !req
367. Stop using him as an excuse
for everything you do.Copy !req
368. - I saw him today. He's fine with us.
- What? You saw him today?Copy !req
369. Yeah. I told him he was getting
in the way of your happiness.Copy !req
370. You did?
You said that to my son?Copy !req
371. Yeah.Copy !req
372. You're on your own.
Ladies?Copy !req
373. Food fight!Copy !req
374. What are you doing?Copy !req
375. Oh, my face!Copy !req
376. I'm gonna get you guys!
Stop!Copy !req
377. The press is having a love affair...Copy !req
378. with hating the Bluth family...Copy !req
379. and they were the center
of another brawl this evening.Copy !req
380. I'm looking at $50,000 worth
of medical bills here.Copy !req
381. It looks like you won't be getting into
this school. Are you disappointed?Copy !req
382. Well, are you disappointed?Copy !req
383. Look, George Michael, I want you
to tell me how you feel, okay?Copy !req
384. I don't want you to worry so much
about hurting my feelings.Copy !req
385. I didn't want to go to that school,
and Jessie's a psycho.Copy !req
386. That could've saved us
a little bit of time.Copy !req
387. But, Dad, if you ever want to date
anyone else, that's fine with me.Copy !req
388. Yeah? Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
389. - 'Cause you know, I mean,
four women, that is kind of sad.
- All right. Thank you.Copy !req
390. I know you got married in college,
but that was your sophomore year.Copy !req
391. - You had your whole freshman year to...
- That's enough honesty for now.Copy !req
392. - Thank you. Good night.
- There must have been girls at parties.Copy !req
393. On the next
Arrested Development.Copy !req
394. Gob holds a press conference
of his own.Copy !req
395. And, now, prepare
to call me "hero."Copy !req
396. He's resting, so...
Oh.Copy !req
397. Pick a card.
Oh, boy.Copy !req
398. And Buster moves
to the kitchen.Copy !req