1. Gott im Himmel!Copy !req
2. I knew it. Those damn cannibals
have taken Schmidt!Copy !req
3. See?
Look there, a blood trail!Copy !req
4. - Das ist blud.
- Armer Schmidt.Copy !req
5. So let's follow it
und kill those savages!Copy !req
6. Are you quite insane?Copy !req
7. There could be
scores of them,Copy !req
8. hundreds, even!Copy !req
9. Ja, with sticks
und stones.Copy !req
10. Ja, and maybe
poison arrows!Copy !req
11. - Schweinhunden!
- Mein Gott!Copy !req
12. We need reinforcements.
Schneider!Copy !req
13. Luckily, there is a
Kriegsmarine transport nearb,Copy !req
14. heading for Nauru.Copy !req
15. Hallo? Hallo!Copy !req
16. Agent Fucs
der Abwehr hie.Copy !req
17. Ich muss mit deinm
Kapitaen spreche.Copy !req
18. With a bit of luck,
soon we will haveCopy !req
19. a platoon of marine
Sturmtruppen.Copy !req
20. Sturmtruppe?Copy !req
21. Damn it!Copy !req
22. Wait,
what are Sturmtruppen?Copy !req
23. It means
stormtroopers.Copy !req
24. - Aw, crap.
- Yeah, that doesn't sound good.Copy !req
25. - Well, it is a cognate.
- What?Copy !req
26. Cognate. Those are words with
a common etymological origin.Copy !req
27. Not the word, Poindexter,Copy !req
28. the fact that there's a thing
called that.Copy !req
29. Yeah, and how many guys
in a platoon?Copy !req
30. - Like, 40!
- Wait, were you in the army?Copy !req
31. - Army Air Corps.
- Hmm.Copy !req
32. Well, that doesn't
do us much good.Copy !req
33. Hey, neither does
your missing arm.Copy !req
34. - Hey!
- But if my almostCopy !req
35. totally nonexistent
understandingCopy !req
36. of military history
is correct...Copy !req
37. - Why would...
- Noah, shut up.Copy !req
38. Then I'm pretty sure we can
expect several waves of attacks,Copy !req
39. wherein the attackers
will steadily increaseCopy !req
40. in both number and in skillCopy !req
41. until we face a final,
climactic attackCopy !req
42. by a sort of ueber-attacker,
a boss, if you will.Copy !req
43. - Translate that.
- Uh,Copy !req
44. boroka handiak,
boroka "boss"Copy !req
45. Mm.Copy !req
46. Wait,
was that it, or...Copy !req
47. - Broad strokes.
- Huh. Well, now tell himCopy !req
48. we need to build
a network of defensesCopy !req
49. out of whatever's on handCopy !req
50. while also training everybody...
The men, the women,Copy !req
51. these nubile teenage girls
I really hope are at least 18,Copy !req
52. maybe some
of the chubbier kids,Copy !req
53. I mean everybody, all of them...
To fight.Copy !req
54. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Zuri gotiak boroka.Copy !req
55. Boroka dugu.
Zenbat ordo?Copy !req
56. Um, uh,
so they're eager to fight,Copy !req
57. and how much time
do we have?Copy !req
58. - Just a couple hours!
- Seriously?Copy !req
59. Yeah, so obviously,
we're gonna haveCopy !req
60. to montage the shit
out of this thing.Copy !req
61. Will you tell him
what a montage is?Copy !req
62. Yeah, I don't think
"montage" would translate.Copy !req
63. They... they don't really have
a strong filmic tradition.Copy !req
64. And whose fault
is that, Noah?Copy !req
65. - Well, I mean...
- Jesus, you are the fucking worst.Copy !req
66. "Danger Island : Comparative Wickedness of
Civilized and Unenlightened Peoples"Copy !req
67. Yeah. So, if we've firmed up that training
and preparationCopy !req
68. and then sort of cut it down
to just the good partsCopy !req
69. and set that
to some bouncy music,Copy !req
70. that would've been a montage.Copy !req
71. I honestly wouldn't
even know where to start.Copy !req
72. Try Eisenstein,
you asshole!Copy !req
73. All right,
let's see what we got!Copy !req
74. Kusta dugu!Copy !req
75. Um, okay!Copy !req
76. Good job, I guess!Copy !req
77. Ona gudari!Copy !req
78. Good-looking tiger trap, ladies!Copy !req
79. Ona trampak!Copy !req
80. Don't forget to smear
those stakes with feces!Copy !req
81. Poo-poo! Poo-poo!Copy !req
82. Oh, come on.Copy !req
83. - What?
- Hat's what they call it.Copy !req
84. Oh, man. Thanks, tribal elders!Copy !req
85. Ona zahara!Copy !req
86. Uh-oh, what are
Nazi Laurel and Hardy up to?Copy !req
87. Wow, literally
another fine mess.Copy !req
88. Hmm, that's not
gonna translate.Copy !req
89. I mean, A, it's sarcasm,Copy !req
90. B, they're not gonna
get the reference, and...Copy !req
91. And C, shut up and...Copy !req
92. Oh, my God, what's that big,
crazy man-killing bastard?Copy !req
93. Let's call it
the widowmaker!Copy !req
94. Well, that's also
not gonna translate.Copy !req
95. Noah, God damn it,
if you don't...Copy !req
96. Wait, where's
my Chub Club?Copy !req
97. Yeah, there they are!Copy !req
98. Um...Copy !req
99. that's okay.Copy !req
100. Uh, shake it offCopy !req
101. and get some more
poison darts from Pam.Copy !req
102. Pozo Pamu!Copy !req
103. Aw, come on.Copy !req
104. This bullshit
is boring as balls.Copy !req
105. Huh.Copy !req
106. I wish to amend
my previous statement.Copy !req
107. Okay.
All right, all right.Copy !req
108. So, um, criticisms.Copy !req
109. I think we maybe could've
spent a little more timeCopy !req
110. practicing actual combatCopy !req
111. and a little less
making the Nazi logs,Copy !req
112. but overall,
great job, everybody!Copy !req
113. Ona lanara!Copy !req
114. Okay, Noah,
tell the chiefCopy !req
115. the most important thing
to remember is...Copy !req
116. - Sterling?
- Wh...Copy !req
117. Mother?Copy !req
118. What in the hell
are you wearing?Copy !req
119. I-I mean...Copy !req
120. Master Coconut!Copy !req
121. Pam, shut up.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
122. Well, we came to rescue...Copy !req
123. The sacred idol!Copy !req
124. - What?
- Nuh-uh!Copy !req
125. God damn it!Copy !req
126. We're searching
for the sacred idol!Copy !req
127. What is wrong
with you?Copy !req
128. What's wrong
with you?Copy !req
129. And who the hell
told you about...Copy !req
130. Oh, you goddamn
blabbermouth bird.Copy !req
131. They already knew
about it!Copy !req
132. And they were gonna
leave you in the quicksandCopy !req
133. while they looked for it.Copy !req
134. - What?
- Nuh-uh!Copy !req
135. Damn it, bird!Copy !req
136. Are you...
Mother, is that true?Copy !req
137. You were just gonna
let us die?Copy !req
138. Oh, please,
what do you thinkCopy !req
139. we're doing here?Copy !req
140. We came to rescue youCopy !req
141. from these
bloodthirsty cannibals.Copy !req
142. Which...Copy !req
143. - Oh. Yeah, no, they're cool.
- Well...Copy !req
144. Mother, this is
the cannibal chief.Copy !req
145. Chief, my lying
and scheming mother.Copy !req
146. Charmed, I'm sure.Copy !req
147. So they're not cannibals?Copy !req
148. Oh, no,
they're totally cannibals,Copy !req
149. but we've temporarily
teamed upCopy !req
150. to fight some
Nazi stormtroopers.Copy !req
151. - Wait, what?
- Mon Dieu!Copy !req
152. Stormtroopers?Copy !req
153. - It's a cognate.
- Noah!Copy !req
154. Kalua. Kalua. Kalua.Copy !req
155. And what is happening
right now?Copy !req
156. Kalua.Copy !req
157. What is kalua?Copy !req
158. It means... goddess.Copy !req
159. Wow!Copy !req
160. Okay, that's embarrassing.Copy !req
161. Tell them I'm not
an actual goddessCopy !req
162. but merely a direct
descendant of, um,Copy !req
163. who's-its, their god, um,
what's-his-face.Copy !req
164. No, no, no, no, no,
they... they don't mean you.Copy !req
165. They mean her.Copy !req
166. - Oh, boy.
- Zut alors.Copy !req
167. Oh, for the love.Copy !req
168. - Wow, that is embarrassing.
- Oh, shut up.Copy !req
169. I'll tell you
what's embarrassingCopy !req
170. is getting slaughtered by a
bunch of Nazi stormtroopers,Copy !req
171. so... can we all
please focus, Noah?Copy !req
172. Tell them to focus!Copy !req
173. Uh...Copy !req
174. uzuka, bita kuju.Copy !req
175. Bita kuju!Copy !req
176. Aww!Copy !req
177. Well, on the bright side,Copy !req
178. if you don't get murdered,
maybe you can move hereCopy !req
179. and be worshipped
as a goddess.Copy !req
180. What mere mortal
dare speak to Kalua?Copy !req
181. Mm, okay.Copy !req
182. Okay!Copy !req
183. Listen up!Copy !req
184. These savage cannibals
have murderedCopy !req
185. and by now,
let's be honest,Copy !req
186. probably eaten
one of your Kameraden.Copy !req
187. So we are going to destroy
their villageCopy !req
188. and everyone in it,Copy !req
189. men, women, and...Copy !req
190. You there!
What are you eating?Copy !req
191. Well, did you bring
enough for everyone?Copy !req
192. Well, then what are
you waiting for?Copy !req
193. Pass them out!Copy !req
194. - Now, any questions?
- Umm...Copy !req
195. It's just something
we're doing.Copy !req
196. I forget why.Copy !req
197. And also, shut up.Copy !req
198. Psst. Noah.Copy !req
199. You told them
to hold their fireCopy !req
200. until the Krauts
are in close, right?Copy !req
201. - Mm-hmm.
- And to fall backCopy !req
202. when they start
to get overrun?Copy !req
203. - Mm-hmm.
- And to...Copy !req
204. Wait, what is wrong
with you?Copy !req
205. What, are you kidding?
I'm scared!Copy !req
206. Oh. Well, yeah,
I mean, that's normal.Copy !req
207. Uh, no, I think
I'm scared-er than that!Copy !req
208. Trust me, however scared
you think you are, it's...Copy !req
209. I pissed in my pants, man.Copy !req
210. Still well within normal.Copy !req
211. Nobody else pissed
in their pants.Copy !req
212. Well, but remember,
they're not wearing pants.Copy !req
213. - That's not...
- Plus, there's no wayCopy !req
214. they can possibly imagine
the unspeakable thingsCopy !req
215. that modern firearms can do
to the human body.Copy !req
216. So... try not
to get shot.Copy !req
217. That's it?
That's your advice?Copy !req
218. That's really good advice!Copy !req
219. Isn't this exciting?Copy !req
220. What, being held
against our willCopy !req
221. while we get attacked
by Nazis?Copy !req
222. Or discovering
the one culture on EarthCopy !req
223. that lacks a basic knowledge
of fermentation?Copy !req
224. I don't know.
I guess all of it.Copy !req
225. Hmm, now,
what have we here?Copy !req
226. I could've found
that stupid idolCopy !req
227. and been halfway
to New York by now!Copy !req
228. Oh, no!Copy !req
229. That idol's
all mine, missy.Copy !req
230. Yeah, well,
we'll see about that.Copy !req
231. Outta the way,
Blimpkins!Copy !req
232. Are you...Copy !req
233. You are serious.Copy !req
234. Hey, can you please
tell him to move?Copy !req
235. Who calls upon
the almighty Kalua?Copy !req
236. Yeah, that's not
already old.Copy !req
237. Your Almightiness,
did I hear you sayCopy !req
238. you were hungry
for oysters?Copy !req
239. Yes!Copy !req
240. Mortal, fetch me
some bivalves.Copy !req
241. Budge up, big un.Copy !req
242. - What?
- Back in a jiff!Copy !req
243. Toodles!Copy !req
244. Any sign of 'em?Copy !req
245. No, because I don't have
binocular vision!Copy !req
246. I'm totally wasted here!Copy !req
247. Me too!
Well, not totally, but...Copy !req
248. No, and stop that!Copy !req
249. I should be in the air,
like a reconnaissance plane.Copy !req
250. Yeah, right,
like you'd come back.Copy !req
251. Wh...
I came back! I'm here!Copy !req
252. Yeah, nice
decision tree, bird.Copy !req
253. And where the hell'd
you get that?Copy !req
254. - Made it.
- What? When?Copy !req
255. I don't know.
A minute ago.Copy !req
256. Whatever's in these
crazy bastards is, like...Copy !req
257. really helping me focus.Copy !req
258. It's poison.Copy !req
259. So's booze.Copy !req
260. What's up your dickhole?Copy !req
261. I just... all these people
put their trust in me,Copy !req
262. and what if I fail them?Copy !req
263. What if...
What if I get them all killed?Copy !req
264. I mean, they were
gonna eat us, so...Copy !req
265. That's a fair point.Copy !req
266. Hey, you know,
people eat birds all the time.Copy !req
267. Why is that okay?Copy !req
268. 'Cause birds
are delicious.Copy !req
269. Well, you're probably
not, but...Copy !req
270. I bet I'm totally delicious.Copy !req
271. Oh, please,
you were born in the 18...Copy !req
272. What the hell was that?Copy !req
273. Mortar!Copy !req
274. Fire!Copy !req
275. My God, listen to that!Copy !req
276. You can hear their women
scream from here!Copy !req
277. So I hope someone
brought potatoes.Copy !req
278. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
279. Fire!Copy !req
280. Merde!Copy !req
281. Doudou, devrions-nous courir?Copy !req
282. Jésus, tu es le pire putain.Copy !req
283. Nazi punks!
Fuck off!Copy !req
284. We gotta take out
that mortar!Copy !req
285. Yeah, but how?Copy !req
286. I'm gonna charge it.Copy !req
287. What?Copy !req
288. What did you say?Copy !req
289. No!Copy !req
290. Fire!Copy !req
291. Okay, Noah, you're gonna
go back to the States,Copy !req
292. and you're gonna tell Dad
he was right,Copy !req
293. and you're gonna take
that job at...Copy !req
294. At Uncle Mort's modeling agency,Copy !req
295. and guess what.Copy !req
296. You're just going
to have to startCopy !req
297. slathering tanning oil
on Swedish bikini models.Copy !req
298. That's it, I'm going for it!Copy !req
299. - Mm-kay.
- Good luck.Copy !req
300. That's it?Copy !req
301. - I mean... - I mean...
- Sterling!Copy !req
302. What are you doing
running around?Copy !req
303. The air's, like, 50% metal!Copy !req
304. Well, exactly,
and speaking of percentages,Copy !req
305. you seem to have this
whole thing pretty well in hand,Copy !req
306. so I thought
I'd just tootle offCopy !req
307. and see if I can't find
that pesky idol.Copy !req
308. - Are you...
- For us!Copy !req
309. Me and you, 50/50!Copy !req
310. - I...
- He has partners, you know.Copy !req
311. Oh, my God.Copy !req
312. Well, if he wants
to give youCopy !req
313. half of his half,
that's his business, but...Copy !req
314. What half?
What happened to thirdsies?Copy !req
315. Yeah, what did happen
to thirdsies?Copy !req
316. Wait, since when
was it thirdsies?Copy !req
317. Oh, my God!
First of all, we...Copy !req
318. Wait, what are you drinking?Copy !req
319. Apparently,
it's some kind of beerCopy !req
320. made from some jungle fruit
these people chew into a pasteCopy !req
321. and then spit into
these gourds to ferment.Copy !req
322. It's a bit like
a phlegm sangria.Copy !req
323. Hmm. Is it good?Copy !req
324. You know...Copy !req
325. Son of a...Copy !req
326. That was my only gourd!Copy !req
327. Give me that!
Wh-Copy !req
328. What are you...Copy !req
329. Nazi sons of bitches.Copy !req
330. She took out
the whole mortar team!Copy !req
331. Wh...
I was gonna do that!Copy !req
332. Okay.Copy !req
333. Yeah, right.Copy !req
334. - Here, I think it's broken.
- I...Copy !req
335. And look,
the natives are rallying!Copy !req
336. Ja! Ja!Copy !req
337. Schiesse diese Scheisse!Copy !req
338. Schneider,
radio the ship!Copy !req
339. Tell them we need...Copy !req
340. Well, a new Schneider, for one.Copy !req
341. Batu baruka!
Batu baruka!Copy !req
342. Because I don't want
to die in a hut,Copy !req
343. defiled by
Nazi stormtroopers!Copy !req
344. Well, I can't die.
I'm immortal.Copy !req
345. But even though time
is meaningless to me,Copy !req
346. what is taking so long
with these oysters?Copy !req
347. Well, don't ask him,Copy !req
348. 'cause he sure as hell
doesn't have any.Copy !req
349. - Meaning?
- He's a eunuch?Copy !req
350. Oh, come on!
He has no testicles!Copy !req
351. Ew. And also, so?Copy !req
352. So what do you thinkCopy !req
353. these people use
for oysters?Copy !req
354. Uh, presumably oysters?Copy !req
355. Balls.Copy !req
356. Wait, what?
Why would they eat...Copy !req
357. Because they're cannibals.Copy !req
358. Cannibals don't
only eat people!Copy !req
359. I'm sure they have...
side salads!Copy !req
360. You think he eats
a lot of salad?Copy !req
361. I think if I tell him to,
he'll eat you.Copy !req
362. I take your point.Copy !req
363. Muh-muh-muh-muh.Copy !req
364. Fall back!
Fall back! Fall back!Copy !req
365. Where the...Copy !req
366. Noah! Noah?Copy !req
367. Y-yeah?Copy !req
368. What are you doing, Noah?Copy !req
369. Oh, I-I'm hiding
under this corpse.Copy !req
370. - But otherwise...
- I mean...Copy !req
371. Well, then can you
please tell themCopy !req
372. to fall back
so we can lureCopy !req
373. these Nazi pukes
into our killing zones?Copy !req
374. Oh, yes, yes,
of course.Copy !req
375. Oh, now! Sorry.Copy !req
376. Uh, atzera! Atzera!Copy !req
377. Atzera!
Batu baruka atzera!Copy !req
378. And how do you say,
"Get ready"?Copy !req
379. Um...Copy !req
380. - Noah?
- Oh, no, sorry.Copy !req
381. Kokatu. Kokatu.Copy !req
382. - Thanks, idiot.
- Yep!Copy !req
383. Kokatu! Kokatu!Copy !req
384. Kokatu! Kokatu!Copy !req
385. They are retreating!Copy !req
386. Attack! Attack!Copy !req
387. Vorwaerts!Copy !req
388. Kokatu! Kokatu! Kokatu!Copy !req
389. What is that?
What is he screaming?Copy !req
390. "Here come the Krauts."Copy !req
391. Ugh, finally.Copy !req
392. They might have schnapps.Copy !req
393. Yeah!Copy !req
394. Aw, man, did you see that?Copy !req
395. Yeah, that was the pits!
Am I right?Copy !req
396. - Eh.
- Eh.Copy !req
397. - Oh, whatever.
- Shut up, bird.Copy !req
398. Nein! Nein!Copy !req
399. Was ist los? Was ist los?Copy !req
400. Ah, ha, hah!
It's working!Copy !req
401. - Chief, it's working!
- Mm.Copy !req
402. Chief, you are
a tough room.Copy !req
403. Was machen wir?Copy !req
404. Umgruppieren!
Umgruppier...Copy !req
405. Gott im Himm...Copy !req
406. Rueckzug! Rueckzug!Copy !req
407. Was ist...Copy !req
408. Whoo! Chub Club!Copy !req
409. That was the last
of 'em!Copy !req
410. Yeah! Take that,
you Nazi bastards!Copy !req
411. Well, don't just
stand there and gawk.Copy !req
412. Go loot their corpses
for schnapps!Copy !req
413. Huh.Copy !req
414. Dugu! Nik andu! Dugu! Nik and!Copy !req
415. What are they chanting?Copy !req
416. - Death to whites!
- No offense!Copy !req
417. - Death to whites!
- No offense!Copy !req
418. - Huh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
419. Again, they're super racist.Copy !req
420. - But also weirdly polite.
- Eh.Copy !req
421. We showed those
German bastards, eh?Copy !req
422. What "we"?
Where the hell were you?Copy !req
423. Fighting!
Those German bastards!Copy !req
424. - Uh-huh.
- Yeah, right.Copy !req
425. I shot maybe ten
German bastards.Copy !req
426. Okay, well, as long
as I get the creditCopy !req
427. for the winning
battle plan, I...Copy !req
428. Victory is mine!Copy !req
429. All hail Kalua!Copy !req
430. Uh, you don't.Copy !req
431. Huh?Copy !req
432. Way to go,
toothless old lady!Copy !req
433. And now I think
it's feast o'clock!Copy !req
434. Hey, shouldn't we, um,
go make sureCopy !req
435. that guy's, like,
dead or whatever?Copy !req
436. No, dummy. Why do you think
they call it the widowmaker?Copy !req
437. Well, yeah,
but you made that up.Copy !req
438. Probably won't get credit
for that either.Copy !req
439. Teko! Besta!
Teko! Besta!Copy !req
440. Teko! Besta!Copy !req
441. Whoo!Copy !req
442. Oh, man, are feasts
not the best?Copy !req
443. Not this one.
Don't eat that!Copy !req
444. Come on, try it!Copy !req
445. It tastes like chicken!Copy !req
446. I don't eat chicken!Copy !req
447. Yes! Finally!
Oysters!Copy !req
448. Oh, fun fact:
even though they serve thoseCopy !req
449. on oyster shells,Copy !req
450. they're actually
human testicles.Copy !req
451. Ha!Copy !req
452. Well, I mean,
at this point...Copy !req
453. you know?Copy !req
454. - Oh, wait!
- Oh, thank God.Copy !req
455. Noah, how do you say
"mignonette"?Copy !req
456. Oh, it's the same.
"Mignonette."Copy !req
457. - Seriously?
- What?Copy !req
458. Yeah, it's a loanword.Copy !req
459. Just the worst.Copy !req
460. Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBHCopy !req
461. Sync corrections by srjanapalaCopy !req
462. Made in Georgia.Copy !req