1. Yeah, and what do you even
do here, sit on your ass and analyze data?
Copy !req
2. Well, I'm a field agent,
Isaac Newton. I risk my life.
Copy !req
3. So, yeah, I do deserve
the best space in the parking garage.
Copy !req
4. Like it'd kill you to roll 50 feet.
Stupid thing's electric.
Copy !req
5. Archer, I still haven't gotten those
T&E reports you promised me.
Copy !req
6. Are you sure?
You didn't eat them?
Copy !req
7. Yeah, well, since Lana broke up with me,
I've been finding solace in food.
Copy !req
8. Well, keep your chins up,
Cyril. All 11 of them.
Copy !req
9. Cyril's about half a wreck, huh?
Yeah, so why do you pick on him?
Copy !req
10. L— Oh, was that
not rhetorical?
Copy !req
11. And why are you bleaching everything?
Ugh! Because it sneezed out here.
Copy !req
12. Okay, is Mother in?
Oh, she's in there, all right.
Copy !req
13. And they're expecting you.
Copy !req
14. Thanks, crazy. I—
Copy !req
15. Wait, who's they?
Hello, Archer.
Copy !req
16. Trinette.
Why are you here?
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17. You don't call me for a year
and that's how you talk to me?
Copy !req
18. Yes, dear, where are your manners?
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19. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess
I skipped the Emily Post chapter...
Copy !req
20. about how to introduce
your mother to a hooker.
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21. Escort, you puke.
And I'm retired.
Copy !req
22. Yeah? Your 401 (k)
doing that well?
Copy !req
23. I have a SEP, smartass.
You have a SEP?
Copy !req
24. Oh, and this. So I ain't
worried about getting by.
Copy !req
25. Why is this a subpoena?
It's for the paternity test.
Copy !req
26. The what?
Yes, the what, dear.
Copy !req
27. Wha—?
And the who.
Copy !req
28. What who? Who is that?
Copy !req
29. Why, this is Seamus McGoon Ster—
No, Seamus Sterling McGoon Archer.
Copy !req
30. Why is that who named like me'?
Why do you think?
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31. I'm asking you why.
Because he's your son.
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32. You colossal ******* idiot.
Copy !req
33. Why?
Copy !req
34. Why didn't you just get a
vasectomy like I asked you to?
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35. I thought it would hurt.
Copy !req
36. And this doesn't?
Well, in a— It's apples and oranges.
Copy !req
37. I'm not ready to be a grandmother.
Copy !req
38. Really? But you're so—
Copy !req
39. Grandmotherly?
No. Old.
Copy !req
40. If and when I am ready for a grandchild...
Copy !req
41. it won't be the potato-faced spawn
of some Irish whore.
Copy !req
42. It's probably not.
Seriously, what's the odds on that?
Copy !req
43. So she had a lot of—?
You kidding?
Copy !req
44. I used to have to book her
weeks in advance.
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45. Ugh.
Although—
Copy !req
46. Although what?
Um...
Copy !req
47. Phew. Wow.
Copy !req
48. Trinette, that was amazing.
Yeah, well, you know—
Copy !req
49. Wai— Wha—? Wait a minute. You liar.
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50. This ain't a condom wrapper,
it's from a f ricking candy bar.
Copy !req
51. So? Sometimes I like to treat myself.
Well, sometimes I like to ovulate.
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52. Well, I gotta sleep,
so do it somewhere else.
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53. Money's on the dresser.
Copy !req
54. Nothing. Hundred-to-one he's mine.
Copy !req
55. Well, he better not be.
Copy !req
56. I couldn't bear the shame
it would bring on this family to have—
Copy !req
57. No, please, Mother, finish that thought.
Copy !req
58. Oh, my God, you are such a hypocrite
Copy !req
59. You were gonna say "illegitimate child."
No, I was going to say "bastard."
Copy !req
60. Ouch. I mean
that's gotta hurt, huh?
Copy !req
61. Why should I care if Archer
knocked up some hooker?
Copy !req
62. Because babies are soft-skulled,
fat little germ sacks...
Copy !req
63. and now we've all been
exposed to that one's bacteria.
Copy !req
64. Wait, what?
Don't engage her.
Copy !req
65. But come on, Lana.
Copy !req
66. You dated Mr. Archer forever.
And you have nothing to show for it.
Copy !req
67. Paging Dr. Leggins.
Couple things.
Copy !req
68. One, I don't need a baby
to validate my existence.
Copy !req
69. And two, the absolute last person on Earth
I'd have a baby with is Archer...
Copy !req
70. because he is not sold
separately.
Copy !req
71. Did you tr—? Did you try—?
Copy !req
72. Yeah, I'll come over, Mother,
just give me 20 minutes.
Copy !req
73. Well, I'm sorry, Lana, but I didn't
invent the childproof pill bottle.
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74. As far as Archer's concerned...
Copy !req
75. I feel I dodged
the world's most dysfunctional bullet.
Copy !req
76. Yeah, but Cyril was—
Oh, wait.
Copy !req
77. Did he have some
sort of character flaw?
Copy !req
78. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Copy !req
79. Couple things.
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80. Bring it!
Copy !req
81. Yeah, we are code blue here.
Hey, yeah, blue. Like for baby boys.
Copy !req
82. No, I meant like for her face.
Choke me.
Copy !req
83. No, like for let's have a baby shower
for Trinette and the wee baby Seamus.
Copy !req
84. Oh, my God, yes, but your place is
disgusting so where can we have it?
Copy !req
85. Well, Archer's got that banging pad.
Yow!
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86. Oh, he'll hate that.
I wanna come.
Copy !req
87. Ohh, I think I just did.
Copy !req
88. And so thank you both for coming...
Copy !req
89. even though Mr. Archer is the
only party named in the subpoena.
Copy !req
90. Well, we both have a vested interest
in the outcome of this silly test.
Copy !req
91. And said test will, obviously,
be administered by a third party, so—
Copy !req
92. A third party? But we have
a state-of-the-art laboratory at ISIS.
Copy !req
93. Normally I wouldn't let an intern
do this on his first day, but—
Copy !req
94. Chet'?
Copy !req
95. How's it hanging, buddy?
Copy !req
96. I'm sure you do. But our client has concerns
about the integrity of the test results...
Copy !req
97. given your agency's, uh...
Copy !req
98. clandestine nature.
Copy !req
99. Oh, and by the way, super crazy
about the elevator pretending it's a dryer.
Copy !req
100. Barry?
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101. But all kidding aside, ODIN will be
providing security for the paternity test.
Copy !req
102. ODIN?
Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
103. Hello, Archer.
Barry.
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104. How's it hanging, buddy?
Hanging great, Barry. How's the leg?
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105. Barry, does it hurt?
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106. Because it looks like
it kind of hurts.
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107. It did hurt. And it still does, so—
Copy !req
108. So how can Trinette afford ODIN?
Barry.
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109. This is pro-bono.
Copy !req
110. Consider it payback
for my shattered femur.
Copy !req
111. And that reminds me. Dr. Ben?
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112. What the—? Hey!
What the hell is this?
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113. We take a blood sample from Archer.
Blood?
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114. My God, what year is this?
I know, right?
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115. Why can't you just take a DNA swab?
Copy !req
116. A blood sample is enough
to determine paternity.
Copy !req
117. And after we take a liter—
A liter?
Copy !req
118. How much is a—?
Archer will be left in a weakened state...
Copy !req
119. which should prevent his attempting
to compromise the test.
Copy !req
120. Turtlenecks. I invented the turtleneck.
Look.
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121. You're bleeding him dry.
Seriously, how much is a liter?
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122. About eight gills.
What's a gill?
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123. You're just talking in circles.
Copy !req
124. Thanks, Dr. Ben. Next.
What's a gill?
Copy !req
125. Under ODIN guard, the sample
is taken to the vault of First Savings Bank.
Copy !req
126. I don't know why I told you
where. It doesn't matter.
Copy !req
127. What's a gill?
The bank will be surrounded...
Copy !req
128. by ODIN agents.
Copy !req
129. Merely an added precaution—
Is that metric?
Copy !req
130. —as the vault is basically
one big shit storm of anti-intrusion devices.
Copy !req
131. Tomorrow, in full view of both parties,
we will test the sample here...
Copy !req
132. along with a blood sample
from the wee baby Seamus...
Copy !req
133. thus ensuring complete accuracy
of the paternity test.
Copy !req
134. Any questions?
Yeah, Barry.
Copy !req
135. I'm still unclear on the liter thing.
Copy !req
136. Vis-é-vis a unit of volume.
Copy !req
137. I seriously don't feel good at all.
Copy !req
138. That's because those ODIN ghouls
drained a fifth of your blood.
Copy !req
139. Speaking of fifth—
A drink's the last thing you need.
Copy !req
140. Well, you might want one too...
Copy !req
141. because pretty decent chance
the baby's mine.
Copy !req
142. What?
Ow!
Copy !req
143. What happened to 100-to-1?
Copy !req
144. I may have massaged
that number a little so—
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145. How could I show my face
around town if—?
Copy !req
146. Trudy Beekman will eat me alive for this.
Copy !req
147. Decent chance.
Copy !req
148. And I can just forget all about
getting on the board of the Met.
Copy !req
149. The museum or the opera?
Either!
Copy !req
150. Sterling Malory Archer, you are
going to break into that vault...
Copy !req
151. and replace your blood
with someone else's.
Copy !req
152. Someone else's blood. Yeah, great.
Copy !req
153. I'll just have Igor bring a villager
up to my castle.
Copy !req
154. Uh, Igor.
Yes?
Copy !req
155. Oh, evening, sir.
Hello, mum.
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156. Woodhouse, what the hell is this?
It's a baby shower.
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157. What's it look like,
you puke?
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158. Ugh. I think
I could use a drink.
Copy !req
159. Sterling,
pick a villager.
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160. Why did you let them in my house?
Well—
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161. Because I told you to buy
lemon curd, Woodhouse.
Copy !req
162. Now what am I gonna spread
on my toast?
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163. Your tears?
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164. They just sort of barged in, sir.
Copy !req
165. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
And why are you barefoot?
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166. Oh, you guys are so sweet.
I made that.
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167. It was gonna be a ham cozy,
but then I was like, eh.
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168. 80...
Well, he can use it as a blankie.
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169. Ew. What is this,
homemade salad dressing?
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170. Breast milk.
Ew!
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171. I actually, uh,
have my own.
Copy !req
172. So you won't need this.
Copy !req
173. Here, it's some plastic dry cleaner bags.
Oh, and a book about SIDS.
Copy !req
174. What kind of
shit gift is that?
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175. Yeah, right?
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176. I made mine.
Me too!
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177. That's disgusting.
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178. If I wanted to look at your bare feet...
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179. I'd sneak in while you're asleep.
Me too!
Copy !req
180. Well? Have you
picked out a donor?
Copy !req
181. I don't know if it's the blood loss or what,
but this whole thing feels—
Copy !req
182. Pretty stupid, Archer. Getting
a hooker pregnant? Yikes.
Copy !req
183. Cyril, you're—
Oh, sorry, Ms. Archer.
Copy !req
184. I'm sure the board at the Met
will frown on this.
Copy !req
185. I'm sure I don't care for your tone.
Copy !req
186. Well, I don't care to be judged by
a couple of lousy hooker-baby havers.
Copy !req
187. You were saying?
You get him drunk.
Copy !req
188. I'll go to the drugstore
and get supplies.
Copy !req
189. You said I could hold him.
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190. You've been holding him
and you've been drinking...
Copy !req
191. and your hands are
so damn big.
Copy !req
192. I don't want you to crush him.
I'm gentle.
Copy !req
193. Lana.
Give her the rabbit, Lennie.
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194. But—
Okay, thank you.
Copy !req
195. Whoa! Somebody's got a full diaper, huh?
Me too!
Copy !req
196. And after that falafel,
I am right behind him.
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197. Did you see me?
Yeah.
Copy !req
198. Holding the baby?
Looked like Tyson holding that dove.
Copy !req
199. Hey, listen, bitch—
Dah! Careful.
Copy !req
200. Because in about three drinks...
Copy !req
201. you're gonna get all boohooey
and ask me to pump a baby in you.
Copy !req
202. You watch.
No, you guys should totally do that.
Copy !req
203. The mochaccino ones are the cutest.
Copy !req
204. Guess he'd be half-gay, too, though.
Copy !req
205. So can you say best dancer ever?
Copy !req
206. No. Thank you,
but I don't care for any.
Copy !req
207. Cyril, it's a toast, don't be rude.
No.
Copy !req
208. Alcohol tends to exacerbate an
underlying personality disorder.
Copy !req
209. Sexual addiction's not a real thing,
asshole.
Copy !req
210. Well, just wait till the new DSM comes out.
Then we'll see.
Copy !req
211. We'll see you still being
an asshole.
Copy !req
212. So have you ever thought about
having a baby?
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213. I don't know, sometimes I think,
you know, I'd like to adopt a little baby.
Copy !req
214. So I could abandon it at a mall.
Copy !req
215. That answers my
follow-up question.
Copy !req
216. Cyril, you're insulting me. Toast
Copy !req
217. And what's there to toast
about, anyway?
Copy !req
218. Ha, ha. How about that upper decker
I just left in the master bath?
Copy !req
219. Come on, Ray.
Sploosh. Called it three drinks ago.
Copy !req
220. Come on, we both have amazing genes.
What did I say?
Copy !req
221. Nobody— I'm— We're not—
I'm not arguing that we're both hot, but—
Copy !req
222. Ray, you can do it. And I can watch.
Copy !req
223. The door. Like a lookout.
Copy !req
224. So nobody sees you doing the dirt.
Copy !req
225. Oh, and here's to child support.
Copy !req
226. I'll see you around, Cyril.
Copy !req
227. And I'll see you
at the lawyer's office, granny.
Copy !req
228. Toast, damn you.
No.
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229. Toast.
Jeezy petes, with you people.
Copy !req
230. Well, at least
I'm not a sex addict.
Copy !req
231. And cue the collective sigh of relief.
Oh, shut up.
Copy !req
232. Hey, I just ran all the way to
the drugstore a liter low on blood...
Copy !req
233. so I am in no mood, Mother.
Oh, and I am?
Copy !req
234. Cyril won't drink, so we'll
have to find another way to—
Copy !req
235. Woodhouse, dear.
Yes, mum.
Copy !req
236. I assume you're holding?
Holding?
Copy !req
237. Why, just this tray of—
Don't bullshit me, you old dope fiend.
Copy !req
238. After that scrape
I got you out of?
Copy !req
239. Let's liven things up, Burroughs.
Copy !req
240. Five grams of junk says I can shoot
a piña colada off your wife's head.
Copy !req
241. A hundred thousand pesos in bribes,
and my stomach's never been the same.
Copy !req
242. I shall fetch my gear.
Copy !req
243. What the hell was that?
Who knows?
Copy !req
244. I didn't have a sip of water
the entire time I was down there.
Copy !req
245. No.
Maybe it was an ice cube.
Copy !req
246. Woodhouse. He's a heroin addict?
Copy !req
247. Oh, listen to you, Mr. Judgy.
What?
Copy !req
248. Now, go lure Cyril into the bathroom
so we can drain his stupid blood.
Copy !req
249. Cyril, you are not to blame, you are
merely a victim of sexual addiction.
Copy !req
250. Cyril, you are—
Preaching to the choir, buddy.
Copy !req
251. And what's that supposed to mean?
It means I understand, Cyril.
Copy !req
252. Because I, too,
suffer from sexual addiction.
Copy !req
253. Oh, you're just a dirty stomp-around.
Yeah, that's what society calls it.
Copy !req
254. But you know how it is to be surrounded—
By women, yes.
Copy !req
255. Uh-huh.
Prancing around in their stirrup pants.
Copy !req
256. And their crotchless panties.
I didn't even know they had those.
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257. Pretty sexy, picture it.
I have to take care of something.
Copy !req
258. Medicine cabinet, Cyril. Top left.
Big bottle of coconut suntan oil.
Copy !req
259. Man, I sh— I shouldn't be drinking
this low on blood.
Copy !req
260. What are you—?
Copy !req
261. What are you doing to me?
Shut up.
Copy !req
262. What's with all this glass?
Copy !req
263. I brained him with the absinthe bottle.
Why?
Copy !req
264. What was I to do? Say, "Take a load off
while we pump you full of heroin?"
Copy !req
265. But if he was already knocked out—
I...
Copy !req
266. Dear God,
that was my entire stash.
Copy !req
267. Gonna be an itchy weekend.
It serves you right, Smacky Brown.
Copy !req
268. God, how are you even still alive?
Holy shit, how am I still alive?
Copy !req
269. Eight gills is way more than I thought.
That's why you're so woozy.
Copy !req
270. Yeah, that, plus all those melon
balls. I had about nine of them.
Copy !req
271. Why the hell were you drinking?
Uh, hello?
Copy !req
272. It's a party.
It's a baby shower...
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273. for the bastard child
you humped into a filthy whore.
Copy !req
274. So I'm obviously
not saying now...
Copy !req
275. but one of these days...
Copy !req
276. you're gonna make
the best grandma ever.
Copy !req
277. Oh, my God, these ODIN dicks.
Copy !req
278. "Hey, where did you get your
turtleneck? The turtleneck store?"
Copy !req
279. Wow, I'm definitely missing that blood.
Maybe if I drank some of Cyril's blood I'd—
Copy !req
280. Wait, what am I saying?
I don't even know his blood type.
Copy !req
281. But I do know a liter of melon balls
can't replace a liter of blood...
Copy !req
282. because I'm kind of drunk for this.
Oh, shit! Nuts.
Copy !req
283. Fan—
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284. Mulatto butts
Copy !req
285. —tastic.
Copy !req
286. What?
What are you doing?
Copy !req
287. Oh, you know,
just living the dream, Lana.
Copy !req
288. Oh, yeah? Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
289. I'm going through your stuff.
Why are you in my house?
Copy !req
290. There's still a few stragglers
trying to keep the party going.
Copy !req
291. Cyril. Hey, you awake'?
Copy !req
292. Because this is about
to get weird.
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293. Ants. All over my body.
Copy !req
294. So shut up and help me find the nutmeg,
and I'll make you some Malcolm X tea.
Copy !req
295. And you know what's f ricking lame?
Copy !req
296. Phased plasma laser countermeasures?
Copy !req
297. No, what's lame is that you told me
a jillion times you never wanted kids.
Copy !req
298. Uh...
Copy !req
299. And I move on with my life,
and then, bam, you drill one into a hooker.
Copy !req
300. It wasn't exactly planned, Lana.
Okay, shut up, but—
Copy !req
301. Did you ever think about you and me
having a baby?
Copy !req
302. I mean— Well, maybe that one time,
when we had that little scare.
Copy !req
303. Wha—?
Is that a f ricking candy bar?
Copy !req
304. Yeah, but think
you need the calories?
Copy !req
305. You're such a prick. I mean, who the—
Copy !req
306. Who dragged out
all this old crap?
Copy !req
307. Why are you and Mother in my room,
going through my things?
Copy !req
308. Because I'll save you some time.
Copy !req
309. My diary is by the Barbie playhouse
and the key's in a locket on Mr. Teddy.
Copy !req
310. My God, I haven't seen
this junk in—
Copy !req
311. Look at that, his little baby shoes.
Copy !req
312. Cannot picture him as a baby.
You know?
Copy !req
313. I just see an adult him, but tiny.
Copy !req
314. Like a little Archer G.l. Joe.
Mm-hm.
Copy !req
315. Want me to freshen that up?
Try not to drown it.
Copy !req
316. Aw. His little christening gown.
Copy !req
317. Pam, get off Cyril.
Copy !req
318. I was trying to get him off, buttinsky.
Out.
Copy !req
319. Just get straight on out.
Oh, come on.
Copy !req
320. Cyril came on to me.
Oh, shut up, he's totally passed out.
Copy !req
321. Really. Hey, Cyril.
Copy !req
322. How's it hanging, buddy?
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323. His first pair of lacrosse cleats.
Copy !req
324. His first smoking jacket.
Copy !req
325. And oh, my— His first black turtleneck.
Copy !req
326. Can't believe Lana and Mother.
No respect for people's privacy, no—
Copy !req
327. Black-ass mama
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328. White-ass daddy
Copy !req
329. Shit's tight, huh?
Copy !req
330. Yo, where you at, mama?
Copy !req
331. And why are you calling me right now?
I had to, before it's too late.
Copy !req
332. What?
I don't want you to do it, Sterling.
Copy !req
333. What?
I know you didn't plan on this baby...
Copy !req
334. but, Sterling, sometimes
the unexpected things can turn out...
Copy !req
335. to be the most important things
in the whole world.
Copy !req
336. Wow, you sound shitfaced.
Copy !req
337. Oh, listen to you, Mr. Melon Balls.
Copy !req
338. And yes, maybe I've had a few.
Really?
Copy !req
339. Enough to admit that even though
I wasn't always Mother of the Year...
Copy !req
340. Ha!
I can change. And you can change.
Copy !req
341. And maybe together we could add up
to one good parent for this baby.
Copy !req
342. But I'm, like, right here.
And I'm right here.
Copy !req
343. For both of you.
Mother, I'm not sure I'm ready.
Copy !req
344. Sterling, no one's ever sure
they're ready for a child.
Copy !req
345. That's why it's so scary,
and that's why it's so special.
Copy !req
346. So please, dear, do the right thing.
Copy !req
347. God, the one time in my life
she acts like a human being, and it's now.
Copy !req
348. Was it when I wanted a puppy? No.
Copy !req
349. Was it when I wanted cornrows? No.
Copy !req
350. But maybe she's right.
Copy !req
351. I mean, the kid's cool,
and I'm obviously awesome.
Copy !req
352. So maybe I would be a good father.
Copy !req
353. You know, at some point in the future.
Copy !req
354. You're okay, Taterhead.
Copy !req
355. They only took a bit of blood.
Quit being such a baby.
Copy !req
356. Sterling!
You quit being such a baby, you prick.
Copy !req
357. Shut up. They took a liter from me.
Copy !req
358. And as the 24 hours of
uninterrupted vault footage shows...
Copy !req
359. Prick.
said liter was never...
Copy !req
360. except for those nine frames
of static there...
Copy !req
361. out of sight of ODIN personnel.
We get it. Let's move on, Barry.
Copy !req
362. And since you all witnessed
the blood sample...
Copy !req
363. being taken
from the wee baby Seamus—
Copy !req
364. I hereby cede any and all rights...
Copy !req
365. to ever contest
the results of this paternity test.
Copy !req
366. So move on, Barry.
Copy !req
367. And so said test results conclude...
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368. Exciting, isn't it?
Not really, because it's gonna say—
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369. that Archer is in fact the father.
What?
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370. Wait a minute.
No, no. No, that's—
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371. Probably the most expensive
candy bar you ever ate, you dunce.
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372. No,no, no.
Really super expensive.
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373. That's a schedule
for child support payments.
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374. First of the month
works best for us.
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375. Somebody could've broken
in the vault.
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376. Come on, nine frames is—
A glitch.
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377. Because even if somebody
did break into the vault...
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378. no one, no one, Archer,
could ever prove it.
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379. And who would even want to?
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380. Not a handsome blond cripple
like me.
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381. Wait a minute!
So kudos, buddy.
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382. Let's go drink some kudos.
Yeah, let's do that.
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383. But—
Clink, clink. Heh, heh, heh.
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384. I don't understand how this happened.
Well, from what I can tell...
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385. it had something to do with
disgustingly kinky sex and a candy bar.
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386. A candy bar!
Mother, I'm not the father, it was—
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387. Cyril, that thing is huge.
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388. I mean,
how'd you even get this thing—?
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389. You son of a snack-eating-ass bitch.
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390. I'm sorry.
How can you cheat on Lana bareback?
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391. I'm a sex addict.
What the—? That's not even a real thing.
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392. And the guilt from sex makes
me binge, then I feel fat...
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393. then I turn to sex to feel attractive again,
then it's just this vicious cycle.
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394. Shit-ass.
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395. Don't you see?
The wee baby Seamus is Cyril's.
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396. And Barry just wanted to frame me.
You don't fool me.
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397. You had the chance to make the switch,
but you couldn't.
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398. No, yes, I could-
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399. And I never thought I'd say this,
but, Sterling, you did the right thing.
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400. No, I didn't. I— I—
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401. The thing I thought was right,
but not what people think is right.
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402. Maybe you're turning into people.
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403. But I don't wanna be people.
And I didn't wanna be a grandmother.
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404. But c'est la vie, dear.
Yeah, and c'est la child support.
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405. Well, just tighten your belt.
My belt?
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406. You said you were here for us.
I am, dear.
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407. But with the economy how it is—
What?
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408. —My money isn't.
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409. Mother, you're in a limousine.
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410. And if I wanted to sit around all day
going nowhere, I'd be a teacher.
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411. Sorry, dear, I have a fitting.
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412. Fitting. And that's why people
in this family shouldn't have children.
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413. That and a genetic predisposition toward—
Ants!
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414. Wretched horrible ants!
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415. Ants are gonna be the least
of your worries, smackhound.
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416. Running around barefoot like that.
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417. "Hello, hookworms. Get in my feet."
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418. Or whatever.
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419. Some kind of worms will go in your feet.
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