1. Malory Archer. Ho.Copy !req
2. You get more beautiful
every time I see you.Copy !req
3. Oh-ho-ho, Gussy.
Minx.Copy !req
4. You'll be the death of me yet.
But if I die...Copy !req
5. let it be with the name of this
dusky jewel upon my lips.Copy !req
6. Lord Feltchley,
may I present Miss Lana Kane?Copy !req
7. Yes, you bloody well may.Copy !req
8. So nice to, uh... Wow.Copy !req
9. Okay, that's kidskin
you're slobbering on, so...Copy !req
10. Okay.Copy !req
11. Wouldn't want to offend
that boyfriend of yours, eh, wot?Copy !req
12. No offense taken, Your Lordship.Copy !req
13. Glad to hear it. Whoever you are.Copy !req
14. Cyril Figgis, ISIS Comptroller.Copy !req
15. And also my...
Boyfriend.Copy !req
16. Person I'm dating.
No, he isn't.Copy !req
17. We date.
No, you don't.Copy !req
18. Ha.
No, no, no.Copy !req
19. Your man's a rakish chap.
Air of mystery, chiseled good looks?Copy !req
20. Oh, I think maybe you mean my ex?
Oh.Copy !req
21. Archer.
Archer, exactly just.Copy !req
22. And if memory serves,
not only handsome, but also...Copy !req
23. A secret agent.Copy !req
24. That's what I am.
And I shouldn't even be saying that...Copy !req
25. but you have a certain
thickness about you...Copy !req
26. that I very find appealing...Copy !req
27. I find
your drunkenness very unappealing...Copy !req
28. I am drunk
or I wouldn't be talking to you.Copy !req
29. So if you'll please excuse me.
Hey, come on. Don't be like that.Copy !req
30. Whoops.
Sterling, look out.Copy !req
31. Feltchley, you dirty Sassenach.Copy !req
32. Free Irishmen will never bow down
before the English crown.Copy !req
33. Oh là là, Sterling Archer.Copy !req
34. That was totally ninja.Copy !req
35. Yeah, if you're...Copy !req
36. into that. Hmm?
Lana?Copy !req
37. Hon? Hello?
Huh? Hey.Copy !req
38. What's up, buddy?
Ugh. Nothing.Copy !req
39. Oh, dear.Copy !req
40. Good show, Archer.
Really saved my bacon there.Copy !req
41. Hey, come on. You know I'd never
let anything happen to your bacon.Copy !req
42. I love you, Santa Claus.
What?Copy !req
43. I do.Copy !req
44. Cyril, we've got big problems.Copy !req
45. Well, it may seem
daunting now...Copy !req
46. but in the long run the HSA
makes a lot more sense than flex accounts.Copy !req
47. I don't mean the health plan.Copy !req
48. Unless it covers
Wandering Eye Syndrome.Copy !req
49. That depends on if that's a real thing.Copy !req
50. Oh, it's very real. And Lana has it.Copy !req
51. Wait, what?
Cyril, I know...Copy !req
52. you saw how she looked
at Sterling last night.Copy !req
53. Well, I think she was
just shaken up...Copy !req
54. Stirred up, Cyril.Copy !req
55. In the loins.
You think her loins were stirring?Copy !req
56. If not frothing.
Frothing? Great. What should I do?Copy !req
57. We should make you into someone for
whom Lana's loins get equally frothy.Copy !req
58. And how exactly would we do that?Copy !req
59. She's obviously attracted
to men of danger.Copy !req
60. Like Archer.
Exactly.Copy !req
61. The perfect field agent.
Who better to train you to become one?Copy !req
62. Archer train me? To be a field agent?Copy !req
63. He's already been briefed.Copy !req
64. But only on the "what,"
mind you, not the "why."Copy !req
65. No sense telling him it's about Lana...Copy !req
66. Boy, wait till I tell her.
No.Copy !req
67. Cyril. Under no circumstance
is Lana to know about our little...Copy !req
68. plan.
Right. I think. Oh.Copy !req
69. But about plans: Health plan switchover?
Cyril.Copy !req
70. I'll take care of whatever that is.Copy !req
71. You just concentrate on your training.Copy !req
72. And Archer's really okay with this?
Oh, not at all.Copy !req
73. Which is just gravy.Copy !req
74. No, I just let mother think that
because I know what she's up to...Copy !req
75. vis-à-vis Cyril and Lana and me.Copy !req
76. And it's not broadening Cyril's horizons.Copy !req
77. Trust me, Mother's idea
of horizon-broadening...Copy !req
78. is a lot of fights...Copy !req
79. walking home from a lot
of jazz-tap lessons.Copy !req
80. I so enjoy our talks. You got them?Copy !req
81. They're loaded and ready to go?Copy !req
82. Seriously, Krieger, you are my Oprah.Copy !req
83. So obviously I'm not happy
about this whole arrangement, but...Copy !req
84. But your mother is, so...Copy !req
85. But I wonder what Lana thinks?Copy !req
86. Oh, Lana's not need-to-know on this.Copy !req
87. Wow, "open purse, remove balls" huh?Copy !req
88. I'm sure it's not the first time
you kept a secret from Lana.Copy !req
89. Uh... Hello. Herpes?Copy !req
90. You gave Lana herpes?
Ahem.Copy !req
91. Hello, Cheryl.
It's Carol.Copy !req
92. What? Since when?Copy !req
93. Since I had it legally changed
because you always call me Carol.Copy !req
94. Wow, that's...Copy !req
95. Excuse us.
Ugh.Copy !req
96. Okay, now what is this herpes business?Copy !req
97. Sorry, bad joke. And a false alarm.Copy !req
98. Lesson one, get used to that.
Should I be writing this down?Copy !req
99. No. Never leave a paper trail.
That's lesson one.Copy !req
100. So ditch this.
Hey, that's...Copy !req
101. Ow! Jesus.
My dead mom's pen.Copy !req
102. Cyril did that.
This is what a real field agent uses.Copy !req
103. Huh. Point's a lot finer than I prefer.Copy !req
104. That's because it's a hypodermic needle...
What?Copy !req
105. and the cartridge is full
of a deadly super-toxin called...Copy !req
106. Poizocaine.Copy !req
107. Here. Keep it in here.
Uh... Hey, whoa.Copy !req
108. Wait a minute.
But be careful.Copy !req
109. The cap slips off for, like, no reason.Copy !req
110. Beep, beep, beep.Copy !req
111. Oh, you giving me the truck noise...Copy !req
112. Karen Carpenter's stunt double?
I thought you were walking backwards.Copy !req
113. It's all the HSA switchover crap.Copy !req
114. I'm so over that lame flex account.
When does the HSA start?Copy !req
115. When Cyril e-files these DD-14s.Copy !req
116. Oh, Ms. Archer's taking care of those.
What?Copy !req
117. Cyril's off somewhere with Mr. Archer.Copy !req
118. I'm sorry, Cyril's off what?
With whom?Copy !req
119. I think "somewhere"
was the "what" there.Copy !req
120. "Mr. Archer" was the "whom."
Worlds collide, huh?Copy !req
121. Inevitable for a serial workplace-dater.Copy !req
122. Oh. Yeah. Call the kettle black.
Ugh.Copy !req
123. Did she just race-card me,
or are you totally just gay for her?Copy !req
124. I'm the Human Resources Director,
Little Miss Hostile Work Environment.Copy !req
125. She is riddled with herpes.Copy !req
126. Hey.
Inappropriate workplace topic.Copy !req
127. And also a dealbreaker.Copy !req
128. Lesson one: Human intel...
Oh, shoot.Copy !req
129. I forgot about the DD-14s.
Screw them.Copy !req
130. That's Mother's headache.Copy !req
131. You tell me, does it look like I'm allergic?Copy !req
132. Jesus Jones, yes.
So when I asked for cucumber slices...Copy !req
133. which one of you idiots
sent up zucchini?Copy !req
134. That, well, that would be...
That would be Jane who did that.Copy !req
135. Scatterbrain Jane?
I know, she's just a mess.Copy !req
136. Because this is obviously zucchini.
Oh.Copy !req
137. You'd recognize a vegetable that wasn't
wrapped in a Monte Cristo sandwich.Copy !req
138. What's that supposed to mean?Copy !req
139. That is Pam, isn't it?Copy !req
140. Okay, so,
human intelligence entails?Copy !req
141. Well, there's false flags,
dead-drops, drop-outs, cut-outs...Copy !req
142. active doubles, passive doubles,
dangled moles...Copy !req
143. the often under-appreciated honeypot?Copy !req
144. Wow.
One of my favorites.Copy !req
145. That sounds like a lot to cover.
Yeah, so we may have to gloss over...Copy !req
146. almost all of it, but...Copy !req
147. Aah!
Weapon.Copy !req
148. Oh.Copy !req
149. Oh, hey hon.
Hey back.Copy !req
150. Hello.
What's...Copy !req
151. What's this?
Well, see...Copy !req
152. here's the thing...Copy !req
153. Under no circumstance is Lana
to know about our little...Copy !req
154. plan.Copy !req
155. Here's what thing?
Okay.Copy !req
156. Archer's DD-14.
Yeah.Copy !req
157. That we're on our way down
to clear up with Jane.Copy !req
158. Really?
Well...Copy !req
159. you know Scatterbrain Jane.
Heh-heh.Copy !req
160. You're cooking dinner later?
Yes, I am.Copy !req
161. Yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
162. Speargun?Copy !req
163. Oh. I can't believe I just did that.
Yeah, dunce.Copy !req
164. Now Jane's a loose end.Copy !req
165. Hey, Jane.Copy !req
166. You getting a snack?Copy !req
167. Keep your story vague.
That's lesson one.Copy !req
168. But, I mean, morality aside, how
do you keep track of all these lies?Copy !req
169. Practice, Cyril.
Lying is, like, 95 percent of what I do.Copy !req
170. In your job.
Sure.Copy !req
171. It was pretty cool how
you handled that speargun.Copy !req
172. Yeah, it was pretty cool.
Will I get to learn karate?Copy !req
173. Karate?
The Dane Cook of martial arts?Copy !req
174. No. ISIS agents use Krav Maga.
Krav?Copy !req
175. We've got an ex-Mossad guy,
he comes in Thursdays.Copy !req
176. Neat.
Yeah. Tuesdays he does a spin class.Copy !req
177. So will I need sweatpants?
Cyril. You need all new clothes.Copy !req
178. What's wrong with these?Copy !req
179. Sorry.Copy !req
180. Oh.Copy !req
181. I was laughing at your clothes.Copy !req
182. Wow, Archer, you were right.
A tailored suit hangs so much better.Copy !req
183. That's because Woodhouse is a genius.Copy !req
184. Like so many other geniuses,
unappreciated in his life...Copy !req
185. Shut up and hem, you old fruit.Copy !req
186. Speaking of fruit, sir.
Oh, sorry. Heh-heh.Copy !req
187. Cyril, check this out.
Watch yourself.Copy !req
188. Really?
Don't make it weird. It's your friend.Copy !req
189. And so's this baby.
Jeezy Petes.Copy !req
190. It's a Chekhov. Russian-made.Copy !req
191. .25 caliber.
When would you use an underwear-gun?Copy !req
192. Hopefully never. But say you're...Copy !req
193. in a Caribbean bungalow
and you're kind of high.Copy !req
194. An exotic woman on the bed...Copy !req
195. now is she just the high-priced
whore you asked for?Copy !req
196. Or is she an assassin?
I don't know. I...Copy !req
197. Here's room service.
Who ordered champagne?Copy !req
198. How should I know.
Exactly.Copy !req
199. You're baked, can't remember.Copy !req
200. Since when does it take three
huge, surly Jamaican guys...Copy !req
201. to deliver one bottle of champagne?
Oh.Copy !req
202. Because they're assassins too.
Or...Copy !req
203. Maybe one guy's a new waiter,
the second one's training him...Copy !req
204. and the third's from maintenance,
finally off his lazy ass to fix the AC.Copy !req
205. Oh. Yeah, I guess that could happen.Copy !req
206. Point is, you come out
of the john waving this around...Copy !req
207. nobody's gonna bug you
for a tip. Here.Copy !req
208. It's a gift.
Thanks, wow, that's slippery.Copy !req
209. And the safety's off
so be careful, it could go off for, like...Copy !req
210. no reason.Copy !req
211. Now what're these pills?Copy !req
212. Oh, just antihistamines mostly.Copy !req
213. You just rest, Ms. Archer.
We'll take care of these DD-14s for you.Copy !req
214. Damn right you will. Idiot.Copy !req
215. Pam, look at this.Copy !req
216. Holy shitsnacks.
We have snacks?Copy !req
217. Everybody's personal medical records.Copy !req
218. No, we can't be looking at this.
Are there snacks?Copy !req
219. It's totally confidential.Copy !req
220. It totally should be. Look at this.Copy !req
221. Oh, my God.
Yeah.Copy !req
222. Cyril tried to get his plan
to cover a penis ensmallment?Copy !req
223. Who'd have thunk it?
I bet Agent Kane thunks it plenty.Copy !req
224. You bet she does what?
Oh!Copy !req
225. I bet she, uh... Oh.Copy !req
226. I got nothing.
That's what I thought.Copy !req
227. You seen Cyril?
Is that Lana?Copy !req
228. Wow. What happened to you?Copy !req
229. Scatterbrain Jane,
but let me just tell you, okay?Copy !req
230. You should be thankful you have Cyril.Copy !req
231. Well...
For about 12 reasons.Copy !req
232. Well, thank you, Malory.Copy !req
233. But if you don't mind,
I'd prefer to keep...Copy !req
234. my personal affairs out of the office.
Oh, please.Copy !req
235. She's had more pens
in that company ink than...Copy !req
236. a pen store.
And yet...Copy !req
237. does not have herpes.Copy !req
238. Dealunbreaker.
Ugh.Copy !req
239. What's the matter, baby?
Afraid you'll catch something?Copy !req
240. No, it's not that. I've just
never been this close to a...Copy !req
241. Call girl. It's not an insult, Cyril.Copy !req
242. Trinette takes pride in her work.Copy !req
243. I really do.
Okay.Copy !req
244. So come on budge in.
Uhn.Copy !req
245. Gosh, yeah.
Now that's not so bad, is it?Copy !req
246. Ha-ha-ha.
No. That feels pretty good.Copy !req
247. I can tell. You are gifted.
Okay.Copy !req
248. God, it's just his gun, Trinette.
Sorry.Copy !req
249. Bet this seems pretty weird.Copy !req
250. Oh, please.
The sick shit I've done in this apartment?Copy !req
251. Okay.
And that wasn't all gun, neither.Copy !req
252. Ha-ha. No, ma'am.Copy !req
253. Hey, can you two focus? Please?
Woodhouse. Are you ready, or what?Copy !req
254. Yes, quite ready sir.
Though not entirely willing.Copy !req
255. Yeah, and I don't know if I am, either...
Could have fooled me.Copy !req
256. Hey.
Oh, Trinette.Copy !req
257. It's perfectly safe. You're tangoing...Copy !req
258. then your trained field agent eyes
spot two threats.Copy !req
259. But they're not trained.
We haven't done this yet.Copy !req
260. This is how you train them. So.Copy !req
261. You spot your first threat. Woodhouse.
Ooh. Hoo.Copy !req
262. My knees aren't...
Bam, bam, bam.Copy !req
263. You put him down. But just shoot
the pad, not Woodhouse.Copy !req
264. Like, actually shoot the gun?
Then.Copy !req
265. How else are you gonna learn?
Okay, he's down...Copy !req
266. just the pad.
Then you see the second threat.Copy !req
267. Oh, no, you're out of ammo.
What are you gonna do?Copy !req
268. Oh, that's where the turn comes in?Copy !req
269. Duh. Woodhouse. Get in position.Copy !req
270. I really need a better health plan.Copy !req
271. Shut up. Weapon is hot
and live fire exercise...Copy !req
272. in five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
273. Tango, tango, tango. Scan
the ballroom of the Cuban embassy...Copy !req
274. for the agent
you're supposed to meet.Copy !req
275. You're just some Canadian dude
down here on business...Copy !req
276. and threat. Woodhouse.
Yes.Copy !req
277. Cyril. Shoot.
Oh, oh.Copy !req
278. Aah!
Shoot, bitch. Democracy's at stake.Copy !req
279. Oh! Take that, forces of evil.
Heh. Ooh.Copy !req
280. Whoa.
Way to go, baby. You hit it.Copy !req
281. Yeah. I did, didn't I?Copy !req
282. Second threat.
Oh. Right, I forgot about...Copy !req
283. Second threat.
Jesus.Copy !req
284. Ow! Christ on sale.
Jesus.Copy !req
285. Yeah, Cyril. That was totally ninja.Copy !req
286. No, Archer. That was totally uncool.Copy !req
287. Sorry, Trinette, did that hurt?Copy !req
288. Yeah, it fricking hurt, idiot.
It's ice.Copy !req
289. Okay, we'll use grapes.
We've only lingonberries, sir.Copy !req
290. Ballistically similar to grapes?Copy !req
291. Screw your grapes and screw your
whatever-berries, I am out of here.Copy !req
292. No, wait. Trinette, please, I...
Spying ass bastards.Copy !req
293. Please my fat Irish ass. Ow!
Ooh.Copy !req
294. What the hell's
in your freaking pocket?Copy !req
295. Um...Copy !req
296. Ha.
Oh. Oh.Copy !req
297. I don't feel so good.Copy !req
298. Me neither.Copy !req
299. And voicemail again. Huh.Copy !req
300. So, it's me. Duh. And did you say
you'd cook, or did I mishear that?Copy !req
301. I know I misheard you about Jane,
because turns out, I ran into her.Copy !req
302. Hey, Jane.Copy !req
303. You getting a tampon?Copy !req
304. Yeah. Loose end.Copy !req
305. But I'm sure you had a good reason
to lie to me...Copy !req
306. so can't wait to hear what it was.Copy !req
307. Oh, my God, you killed a hooker.
Call girl.Copy !req
308. She was a...
No, Cyril.Copy !req
309. When they're dead they're just hookers.Copy !req
310. God, I said the cap slips
off the poison pen for no reason.Copy !req
311. I know, but I just assumed...Copy !req
312. that if anything bad happened...Copy !req
313. No. Do not say the Chekhov gun, Cyril.
That, sir, is a facile argument.Copy !req
314. And also woefully esoteric.Copy !req
315. Woodhouse.
Fetching a rug, sir.Copy !req
316. Now he's fetching a rug. Happy, Cyril?Copy !req
317. No. No, I'm not happy.Copy !req
318. Well, guess what. Me neither.Copy !req
319. I mean, big picture,
I wouldn't say I'm a happy person.Copy !req
320. Sir. I have fetched the rug.Copy !req
321. Plus now I'm out a rug.Copy !req
322. Oh, God.
I should never have agreed to this.Copy !req
323. You and your stupid mother
and her stupid frothing loins.Copy !req
324. Hey. I know you're upset, but if you
ever mention my mother's loins...Copy !req
325. or their frothiness, to me again...Copy !req
326. I don't know what I'll do,
but it will be bad.Copy !req
327. Now let's go bury this dead hooker.Copy !req
328. Shirt tails. We need a password.Copy !req
329. Hang on a second.
Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
330. How you doing, Ms. Archer?Copy !req
331. I am good.Copy !req
332. Okay, try... Okay, try "guest."
Real good.Copy !req
333. Well, that's just idi... Oh, my God.Copy !req
334. I know, right? So here let's make
the co-pay zero, and the deductible...Copy !req
335. Super high, right?
No, low.Copy !req
336. You want the lowest deductible.Copy !req
337. But don't you deduct it
on your taxes or something?Copy !req
338. Wow.
So you want more?Copy !req
339. And people think Jane's stupid.Copy !req
340. Speaking of, it's probably better...Copy !req
341. if Jane was the last one to log in.Copy !req
342. You are a bitch.Copy !req
343. I am not. What?Copy !req
344. Because I don't want Sterling to end up
with a woman like Lana Kane?Copy !req
345. My God, a black...Copy !req
346. ops field agent?Copy !req
347. Thought she was going in a whole
other direction with that.Copy !req
348. Because let me tell you,
I was black ops.Copy !req
349. And that does not for a young boy
a very merry Christmas make.Copy !req
350. Ajax a success, Teheran is ours, stop.Copy !req
351. Merry X-mas from Mommy
and Uncle Kermit, stop.Copy !req
352. Also, be nicer to Woodhouse, stop.Copy !req
353. You made up the last part, didn't you?
I did, sir.Copy !req
354. Douche.Copy !req
355. Oh, my God.
I know, right?Copy !req
356. This is the most kickass health plan ever.Copy !req
357. And I think I just had a flashback, so...Copy !req
358. these antihistamines are insane.Copy !req
359. Oh, I'm crazy? Cyril, you're the one
who killed a perfectly good hooker.Copy !req
360. By accident. We could explain.Copy !req
361. To who, Cyril? The cops? Lana?Copy !req
362. She'd never forgive me.
Archer, my life is ruined.Copy !req
363. And all because Mother cooked up...Copy !req
364. this stupid plan...
But I just...Copy !req
365. to make you an agent
just to impress Lana. Ironic, isn't it?Copy !req
366. I'm not sure that's technically irony.Copy !req
367. What? This is like O. Henry
and Alanis Morissette had a baby...Copy !req
368. and named it this exact situation.Copy !req
369. No, it's...
Yes, it is.Copy !req
370. Because a man like you, Cyril,
doesn't deserve a woman like Lana.Copy !req
371. You...Copy !req
372. You butthole. You set this all up,
just to drive me and Lana apart.Copy !req
373. Well?
Screw you, Archer.Copy !req
374. Hey. Hostile work environment.Copy !req
375. Exactly. And I'm gonna file
a hostile work environment lawsuit...Copy !req
376. against you, and your mother,
and ISIS, and...Copy !req
377. What? Who the hell is that?Copy !req
378. Your confederates in Operation Butthole.
Cyril.Copy !req
379. Those aren't my confederates.
Well, nice try...Copy !req
380. but Cyril Figgis ain't buying it.Copy !req
381. You hear that? I ain't buying it.
Cyril.Copy !req
382. Oh, my God.
How about now, Cyril?Copy !req
383. Are you feeling ready to buy?Copy !req
384. To Scatterbrain Jane.Copy !req
385. And to plan-covered elective surgery.Copy !req
386. And the boob job. That you so need.Copy !req
387. And the ass-reduction you so need.Copy !req
388. And the skinny-bitch-ectomy you need.Copy !req
389. Oh, my God, did you hear that?
What do you think it is?Copy !req
390. Immigrants.
That's how they do, you know?Copy !req
391. Just drive around, listening to raps
and shooting all the jobs.Copy !req
392. Then who are those guys?
How should I know?Copy !req
393. KGB, the Stasi, Shining Path,
this guy I know named Popeye?Copy !req
394. I have enemies, okay?Copy !req
395. That's because no one likes you.
What?Copy !req
396. Seriously, do you not sense that?Copy !req
397. I am a product of my upbringing, Cyril.Copy !req
398. Well, I was a single mother.Copy !req
399. And it's a big dangerous world out there.Copy !req
400. Are you idiots still even here?Copy !req
401. So why aren't you better at this?Copy !req
402. I am the best at this, Rain Man,
okay? I'm like...Copy !req
403. Who? James Bond?Copy !req
404. Well, I don't like
to invite that comparison.Copy !req
405. But yeah, basically.
So do something.Copy !req
406. I'm doing all kinds of stuff, Cyril.
I'm shooting the gun, see?Copy !req
407. I'm driving the car.
I could drive better than that.Copy !req
408. So knock yourself out. I'm ejecting.Copy !req
409. No, you are not.
Yes, I am totally am.Copy !req
410. Stop it. No.
No.Copy !req
411. Grenades in the glove box.
Drive me and the hooker to safety or...Copy !req
412. Excuse me.
Lana?Copy !req
413. Yeah, I'm looking for two guys.Copy !req
414. They're on their way to the morgue?Copy !req
415. Great.
Archer, what am I gonna tell her?Copy !req
416. Well, if you learned anything today,
it won't be the truth.Copy !req
417. I don't care if you have
50 dead hookers in the trunk...Copy !req
418. you lied to me.Copy !req
419. Did not learn anything.Copy !req
420. Well, you shot a machine gun at me.
Around you.Copy !req
421. Because my feelings were hurt.
Well...Copy !req
422. Why on earth would you lie to me?Copy !req
423. I just wanted to show you
I could be...Copy !req
424. a supercool ISIS field agent
like Archer, but...Copy !req
425. But baby, don't you know I...Copy !req
426. like you so much...Copy !req
427. because you're exactly the opposite
of Archer?Copy !req
428. Well, yeah, but...
Not to mention your other qualities.Copy !req
429. Oh, you are such a naughty Nelly.Copy !req
430. He just gets a pass? Like Milton Berle?
Yep.Copy !req
431. Hey, so how did you know where I was?Copy !req
432. When we first started going out...Copy !req
433. I may have injected
a tracking device into your body.Copy !req
434. In my body? No, no.
Now, that is a breach of trust, Lana.Copy !req
435. Do you really wanna open
this can of trust-breachy worms...Copy !req
436. right after I caught you and my
ex-boyfriend with a hooker in the trunk?Copy !req
437. I do not.
You do not.Copy !req
438. Oh, and Archer, how's this for ironic?Copy !req
439. You know what? I don't have a "one to
some other number of douchebags" scale.Copy !req
440. So, six? Oh, my God, Trinette.Copy !req
441. Yeah, Trinette, you shitass.Copy !req
442. So you know you have to be punished.
Yes.Copy !req
443. You're gonna walk into our video store...Copy !req
444. With the sweet old Korean lady.Copy !req
445. - And buy the nastiest, barebackinest,
hard dickinest, ball splapiest...Copy !req
446. interracial porno in there.Copy !req
447. From the sweet old Korean lady?Copy !req
448. Yep. How you feel about that?Copy !req
449. Like I got off pretty easy.
Night ain't over yet.Copy !req
450. Throw me in a trunk?
Not part of the plan.Copy !req
451. Inject me with some crazy spy poison?Copy !req
452. It was just a harmless tranquilizer.
You shitass.Copy !req
453. I mean, let's be honest, I doubt
that's the first needle you ever...Copy !req
454. Ow!
I never. Give me your wallet.Copy !req
455. I already paid you.Copy !req
456. File a customer service complaint.
I'm sure Popeye'd love to hear it.Copy !req
457. Hey, come on, you wouldn't tell Popeye.Copy !req
458. Oh, watch me.Copy !req
459. Oh. Give me your watch.
You know how much this thing costs?Copy !req
460. Probably less
than a new set of kneecaps.Copy !req
461. There. Happy?
Almost.Copy !req
462. You know, I bet there's a lesson
to be learned from all this.Copy !req
463. But I... Oh, shit, my rug.Copy !req