1. So, again,
I just want it on recordCopy !req
2. I'm 100% against this.Copy !req
3. Aw, you're 100%
against everything cool.Copy !req
4. No, I'm not. Shut up.Copy !req
5. - Like what?
- Um, Ranch Tub.Copy !req
6. - Oh, for the...
- Come on, man.Copy !req
7. Everybody was against Ranch Tub!Copy !req
8. Seriously, Pam, quit trying
to make Ranch Tub happen.Copy !req
9. Do I even want to know
what that is?Copy !req
10. Only if you never
want to eat ranch again.Copy !req
11. - I meant ranch.
- What?Copy !req
12. - That's a food?
- It's not important.Copy !req
13. - I wouldn't go that far.
- Can we please...Copy !req
14. - Cyril, shut up.
- Seriously.Copy !req
15. Come on, if we're gonna
do this, let's do it already.Copy !req
16. We're sitting ducks
with you two out there.Copy !req
17. - Well, whose fault is that?
- What? Yours!Copy !req
18. You made us stop on the way
to Earth for the damn thing.Copy !req
19. Exactly, and everybody remember
that when it's time to divvy it up.Copy !req
20. Do you think
it's worth anything?Copy !req
21. Hmm, hard to say.Copy !req
22. I've never seen anything like it.Copy !req
23. So you just jam it
with my new pen?Copy !req
24. - This is new, this pen right here?
- Yes, as a matter...Copy !req
25. - You know...
- Ooh. Maybe it's ambergris.Copy !req
26. How could it be ambergris?Copy !req
27. - If a whale puked it up, duh.
- Oh, a space whale?Copy !req
28. I don't know all the types of whale!Copy !req
29. And yet somehow you know
about ambergr...Copy !req
30. - Oh, maybe its mithril!
- Is that some other food?Copy !req
31. No! And it's not mithril.Copy !req
32. - Just checking.
- Whatever the hell it is,Copy !req
33. just box it up and let's go already!Copy !req
34. All right! Jesus!
So what do you think, Cyril?Copy !req
35. - About what?
- Is it firm enough to shove in the box?Copy !req
36. Nobody?Copy !req
37. What, like "space phrasing"?Copy !req
38. No. Never mind.Copy !req
39. 10x08 - CubertCopy !req
40. - Synced and corrected by f1nc0 -
- Re-synced by darthfrede -
www.addic7ed.comCopy !req
41. And radiation levels are...Copy !req
42. normal... across the spectrum.Copy !req
43. Well, keep testing.
Radiation's just one danger.Copy !req
44. That thing could be carrying
deadly bacteriaCopy !req
45. - or some kind of virus.
- First of all...Copy !req
46. Bacteria and virus
are the same thing, dummy.Copy !req
47. - No, they're not.
- Shut up. Krieger?Copy !req
48. - They are not.
- Oh, well, what am I thinking of?Copy !req
49. Space whores, presumably.Copy !req
50. Well, right then, I was, but...Copy !req
51. Hey, nobody gets out of there
until I'm sure that thing'sCopy !req
52. not a hazard to the ship, so
the longer you dick around,Copy !req
53. the longer you're gonna stay
in quarantine.Copy !req
54. - Any questions?
- What the...Copy !req
55. Yeah, are you doinks done yet?Copy !req
56. 'Cause I wanna check
that crazy thing out.Copy !req
57. - Pam!
- What?Copy !req
58. You just broke quarantine, dumb-ass.Copy !req
59. So if there's anything deadly on it,
now the entire ship's infected.Copy !req
60. Yeah, but you wouldn't have been.Copy !req
61. - What?
- Helmet, genius.Copy !req
62. God damn it.Copy !req
63. I'm gonna call him Cubert!Copy !req
64. Okay, that was the last test.Copy !req
65. And I can confidently say that
the object poses no nuclear,Copy !req
66. chemical, or biological
threat to the ship or crew.Copy !req
67. Not that we could've
done anything about it if it did,Copy !req
68. - thanks to Pam.
- You are welcome.Copy !req
69. Hey, can we take a second?
Isn't it crazy that that little scannerCopy !req
70. can do all those
wildly different tests?Copy !req
71. - I mean, come on.
- Yeah, pretty great.Copy !req
72. Yes, hooray for everything.
Now, what's it worth?Copy !req
73. Well, that, I can't say.Copy !req
74. I don't even know
what elements it's made of...Copy !req
75. Assuming
they're even known to us.Copy !req
76. - I'll have to do many more tests to...
- Ooh, here's a test.Copy !req
77. - Cut the damn thing open and...
- Whoa, hey!Copy !req
78. - Cool!
- Holy shit! It's magnetic!Copy !req
79. No, I don't think so.
There's metal all overCopy !req
80. - the place in here, so...
- Oh, my God! Our fillings!Copy !req
81. What are you talking about?Copy !req
82. A, fillings are nonferrous, so...Copy !req
83. So...Copy !req
84. - So even if it were magnetic...
- It's not gonna eat your damn fillings.Copy !req
85. - But I don't think it is a magnet. See?
- Well, then how...Copy !req
86. Okay, um, pick up another scalpel.Copy !req
87. - And?
- Huh. Well, I had a theory...Copy !req
88. - Damn it, woman! If you don't...
- Ah!Copy !req
89. Oh, shit.Copy !req
90. That it was reacting to a weapon.Copy !req
91. Then let's kill it!
Kill it!Copy !req
92. Kill it before...Copy !req
93. - Whoa!
- Aah!Copy !req
94. - Oh, shit.
- Uh...Copy !req
95. Hmm, or maybe just aggression.Copy !req
96. - What?
- Huh.Copy !req
97. Come on, you're saying
it can read our emotions?Copy !req
98. I'm not saying anything... yet.Copy !req
99. - How 'bout now?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
100. Sorry, need to do a whole big
series of tests before I can...Copy !req
101. - Huh, still interrupting.
- Typical.Copy !req
102. But we should probably... uh...Copy !req
103. Carol, come on.
Let's get out of there.Copy !req
104. Wow, that's...Copy !req
105. - Somebody give me a hand here.
- I can help.Copy !req
106. Somebody strong.Copy !req
107. Ready?Copy !req
108. I mean... I mean,
that's crazy, right?Copy !req
109. All right, Jesus.
I'm doing it.Copy !req
110. - Okay, Pam, you're up.
- Mm-kay.Copy !req
111. One, two, three, go.Copy !req
112. Son of a... Go!Copy !req
113. I just thought of something.Copy !req
114. Oh, my God,
if you say "Ranch Tub"...Copy !req
115. No, shut up.
Look, I can bench, like, 500 kilos,Copy !req
116. - so I can keep pulling on her, but...
- Eventually something's gotta give.Copy !req
117. Like her birdy little neck bones.
Because whatever this thing is,Copy !req
118. I mean, it's obviously supernatural.Copy !req
119. Well, since when is it supernatural?Copy !req
120. - Well, it's not a magnet.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
121. So those are our only two options,
ghosts or magnets?Copy !req
122. - I mean...
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
123. This is just some bullshit of yours
to put off going back to Earth.Copy !req
124. What?
So, what, Lana, I conjured upCopy !req
125. some kind of...
telepathic ghost cube?Copy !req
126. I didn't say you
conjured it up, dickwrap.Copy !req
127. I said that...Copy !req
128. Huh.Copy !req
129. Well, I hope you're all...Copy !req
130. Jeezy Petes.Copy !req
131. - Happy.
- Is she breathing?Copy !req
132. - No.
- So she's...Copy !req
133. - I mean...
- Oh! If only we had accessCopy !req
134. to some sort of device
which could tell us!Copy !req
135. - Krieger!
- What's that?Copy !req
136. Oh, right, the scanner!
Doy.Copy !req
137. Hang on, let me reset it for...Copy !req
138. Ah, Jesus!Copy !req
139. Are you okay?Copy !req
140. - I think so.
- What was it like?Copy !req
141. - What did you see?
- I don't know. It...Copy !req
142. I can't explain it.Copy !req
143. - Oh, my God!
- What?Copy !req
144. - I just remembered.
- Remembered what?Copy !req
145. I don't even have fillings.Copy !req
146. So that whole time
you're in there,Copy !req
147. you didn't see anything?Copy !req
148. No, I mean, it's hard to explain.Copy !req
149. It was kind of like I was...
nothing... and everything?Copy !req
150. If that makes any sense.Copy !req
151. About as much as what normally
comes out of your mouth.Copy !req
152. - And speaking of your mouth...
- What about it?Copy !req
153. - You're really packing it away there.
- Um, I'm hungry. Sue me.Copy !req
154. I will if it turns out you ate all
the priceless filling out of that cube.Copy !req
155. Oh, my God.Copy !req
156. What?Copy !req
157. - Pointless.
- You really think it's worth something?Copy !req
158. It's gotta be,
I mean, to somebody.Copy !req
159. And whom might that somebody be?Copy !req
160. Well, obviously we need
to do some market research,Copy !req
161. - but it's...
- It's gone.Copy !req
162. - What?
- Wait, what?Copy !req
163. Gone?Copy !req
164. - What are you doing?
- What's the matter?Copy !req
165. Hey, the food ain't that bad, baby.Copy !req
166. What's wrong?
Are you choking?Copy !req
167. - Typical.
- W-w-w-what's the matter?Copy !req
168. - This is serious.
- Get a spoon in her!Copy !req
169. Space phrasing!Copy !req
170. - No.
- Plus, that's a collectible!Copy !req
171. Get that spoon in her!Copy !req
172. I'm trying.Copy !req
173. - Oh, God.
- Ugh!Copy !req
174. - Gross.
- What the shit with the spoon?Copy !req
175. - I...
- We thought you were...Copy !req
176. What, "She's choking, so let's shove
a goddamn spoon down her throat"?Copy !req
177. - Yeah, Cyril.
- Hey, you know what?Copy !req
178. I know the stupid cube is gone.Copy !req
179. - Yeah.
- Yeah, what happened?Copy !req
180. - Yeah, what the shit, Krieger?
- It was right here on...Copy !req
181. well, six inches above the table.Copy !req
182. I needed some more
sterilizing wipes, so I...Copy !req
183. Why would you need sterilizing wipes?Copy !req
184. - I...
- Oh, Krieger, buddy.Copy !req
185. Please tell me you didn't try
to have sex with the ghost cube.Copy !req
186. - Krieger!
- That's nasty, Krieger!Copy !req
187. - Ew!
- No, of course I didn't.Copy !req
188. We can check the security footage.Copy !req
189. There isn't any.
The camera was off.Copy !req
190. - Oh, how convenient.
- I did not have sex with the cube.Copy !req
191. - Because first of all, with what?
- Oh, okay, okay.Copy !req
192. You wanna make your stupid
little Ken Doll jokes?Copy !req
193. Would they be warranted?Copy !req
194. - I...
- Focus, people.Copy !req
195. There's a million credits'
worth of ghost cube missing.Copy !req
196. What happened, Ken?Copy !req
197. As I was saying...Copy !req
198. I needed more sterilizing wipes.Copy !req
199. I need more sterilizing wipes.Copy !req
200. So I walked out the door,
and after it closed behind m,Copy !req
201. I keyed in the alphanumeric
code to lock it.Copy !req
202. I walked down to the supply room,Copy !req
203. got the wipes,
and walked back.Copy !req
204. I keyed in the code to unlock
the aforementioned door.Copy !req
205. I walked in...Copy !req
206. What the...Copy !req
207. The cube was gone.Copy !req
208. So obviously one of you took it.Copy !req
209. - No, we did not!
- That's bullshit.Copy !req
210. Nobody took your new girlfriend.Copy !req
211. Yeah, plus, we were all
together in the mess, so...Copy !req
212. - So how did it leave a locked room?
- Plenty of ways. Here, hold this.Copy !req
213. All right, let's go find that thing.
And let's all split up.Copy !req
214. We can cover a lot more ground
that way.Copy !req
215. So individually go bumbling
around this big ole spaceshipCopy !req
216. looking for a ghost.Copy !req
217. To bumble or not is up to you,Copy !req
218. but whoever finds it gets to keep it.Copy !req
219. - Wait, what?
- Findies keepies!Copy !req
220. - Wait a minute, what?
- Huh?Copy !req
221. - Out of my way!
- No, no, no, no!Copy !req
222. Get out of my way! No!Copy !req
223. And bumble it is.Copy !req
224. - Get out of my way, meathead.
- I saw it first!Copy !req
225. Wait a minute.Copy !req
226. Now, look, before you all
go running off half-cocked...Copy !req
227. Krieger, we don't have time
to pile on youCopy !req
228. - with a bunch of no-dick jokes.
- I knew it right when I said it.Copy !req
229. - I call bridge!
- Well, I'm coming with you.Copy !req
230. - No, you're not.
- Uh... well, then I-I get the crew quarters.Copy !req
231. You better not go in my boudoir!Copy !req
232. Okay, I call dibs on the... aah!Copy !req
233. - Dibs on them ribs, sucka!
- Oh, holy shit. That really hurt.Copy !req
234. Well, if you think that hurt...Copy !req
235. That's disconcerting.Copy !req
236. - Yeah, ya think?
- Yes.Copy !req
237. I said no, God damn it!Copy !req
238. - Get out!
- Hey!Copy !req
239. I won't have you manhandling
my beautiful things.Copy !req
240. Well, how do I know it's not in there?Copy !req
241. - Because we said so.
- Who's "we"?Copy !req
242. Is that supposed to be funny?Copy !req
243. Hope it was his dick.Copy !req
244. - Right in the foot!
- Eh.Copy !req
245. - Any luck?
- No, Lana. And this is my area, so...Copy !req
246. So...Copy !req
247. So... so talk
about space whores, huh?Copy !req
248. - Excuse me?
- I, um...Copy !req
249. Uh, nothing.
Uh, ne... never mind.Copy !req
250. - I'll never your mind.
- Um, airball.Copy !req
251. - I'll... air your balls.
- Yeah, yeah, you will.Copy !req
252. God damn it!Copy !req
253. Holy shit,
I think I'm seeing things.Copy !req
254. I maybe need to get
some sleep, huh?Copy !req
255. Or at least my balls aired out.Copy !req
256. Yeah, right?Copy !req
257. - Hey.
- Who the hell are you, man?Copy !req
258. What are you...
I'm TV's Michael Gray.Copy !req
259. TV's Michael Gray who?Copy !req
260. Uh, TV's Michael GrayCopy !req
261. says quit being a dick
and open the door?Copy !req
262. Seriously, quit being a dick.Copy !req
263. Okay, um, h-hang on.Copy !req
264. Okay, on three. Ready?Copy !req
265. - Can we not do it on one?
- Shut up, okay.Copy !req
266. One... two!Copy !req
267. Disconcerting.Copy !req
268. Michael.Copy !req
269. TV's Michael Gray.Copy !req
270. Mikey-Mike, where are you?Copy !req
271. Who the hell's Mikey-Mike?Copy !req
272. Exactly, that's what I'm...Copy !req
273. 'Cause you think he'd like
some of this?Copy !req
274. What? No.Copy !req
275. Stop that.
What... what are you doing?Copy !req
276. I'm hungry. Sue me.Copy !req
277. And then get up to the bridge.Copy !req
278. Her Lanaship has
some big announcement.Copy !req
279. - Whoa, what, did somebody find it?
- Find what?Copy !req
280. What cube?Copy !req
281. Mother, I am extremely not in the
mood, so seriously, where is it?Copy !req
282. You mean like an ice cube
or something in a Rubik...Copy !req
283. - Quit dicking around already!
- Hey, whoa.Copy !req
284. I'm talking about the mysterious
and possibly haunted ghost cubeCopy !req
285. - that Carol got her head stuck in.
- I think I'd remember that.Copy !req
286. And I'd be the first one to believeCopy !req
287. she got her head
stuck in something.Copy !req
288. - Thank you.
- But you are just sounding insane.Copy !req
289. You sound insane!
All of you!Copy !req
290. Oh, oh, and I all know
what you're trying to do.Copy !req
291. You wanna
maybe walk us through that?Copy !req
292. Oh, my God.
I know somebody found the cubeCopy !req
293. - and that it's findies keepies.
- You mean finders keepers.Copy !req
294. But don't stand there and lie to me!Copy !req
295. - Nobody's...
- Plus, you dressingCopy !req
296. - like a whore?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
297. - And how is Cyril's foot okay?
- Uh, what, now?Copy !req
298. You got shot in the foot, asshole.Copy !req
299. And, oh, my God,
TV's Michael Gray?Copy !req
300. - TV's Michael who?
- Huh?Copy !req
301. All right. I don't know
if you got in the meds lockerCopy !req
302. or if this is just the onset
of tertiary syphilis, but...Copy !req
303. - He better not have syphilis.
- Why had he better not have syphilis?Copy !req
304. I... wh...
because syphilis is bad, dude.Copy !req
305. Listen to me, God damn it!Copy !req
306. - Oh!
- Easy!Copy !req
307. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
- And speaking of meds,Copy !req
308. don't you think you could use
a bit of a... relaxer?Copy !req
309. - No!
- Oh, now... Krieger, don't you haveCopy !req
310. - something to take the edge off?
- As a matter of fact...Copy !req
311. You and your pills keep
away from me, you...Copy !req
312. you dickless fish!Copy !req
313. - Wha...
- He's got a gun!Copy !req
314. Sterling!
Sterling, look at me.Copy !req
315. Now, I don't know what's wrong,Copy !req
316. but I promise you,
whatever it is, we'll fix it.Copy !req
317. But first you have to trust us.Copy !req
318. - Oh, no.
- Suit yourself.Copy !req
319. - Krieger?
- Yep, yep, yep!Copy !req
320. No, no, no, no...Copy !req
321. You dick.Copy !req
322. Jesus!Copy !req
323. All right. Krieger,
take him down to the med labCopy !req
324. and try to find out what in
the hell's the matter with him.Copy !req
325. Him? What about me?Copy !req
326. - We know what's wrong with you.
- Yeah, foot hole.Copy !req
327. - Well?
- Well, it's really kind of weird.Copy !req
328. Uh, no shit.Copy !req
329. The scanner shows normal vitals
and doesn't show anythingCopy !req
330. physically or neurologically unusual.Copy !req
331. No drugs in his system and...Copy !req
332. just what I assume is
a therapeutic level of bourbon.Copy !req
333. - And... no syphilis?
- No venereal disease of any kind.Copy !req
334. Or judgment, by the way.Copy !req
335. - Don't care.
- Eh.Copy !req
336. - How does that thing know all that?
- I know. Pretty great.Copy !req
337. All right, keep scanning or whatever,
and keep him down hereCopy !req
338. until you find out
what's wrong with him.Copy !req
339. My therapeutic levels are low.Copy !req
340. And I could actually use
some sterilizing wipes.Copy !req
341. - I'll bet. Keep an eye on him?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
342. Uh... hello?Copy !req
343. Is there a reason you locked
the door from the outside?Copy !req
344. Krieger? Hello?Copy !req
345. - Super.
- Is it?Copy !req
346. Oh!
Jesus Christ, Archer!Copy !req
347. What are you doing?
You scared the shit out of me!Copy !req
348. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- Well...Copy !req
349. what'd ya expect, nerfnuts?Copy !req
350. It's alcohol. It's gonna hurt.Copy !req
351. - Well, if you think that hurt...
- Yes! Yes, I do think it hurt!Copy !req
352. You'd better not be wasting that.Copy !req
353. Um, guess it kind of depends
on how you mean.Copy !req
354. I mean, we've really only got
two options here, Lana.Copy !req
355. One is that this is all
some sort of ruse,Copy !req
356. and the other is
that I'm crazy.Copy !req
357. - You're kind of acting crazy.
- I don't think I'm acting crazy.Copy !req
358. - That's kind of one of the symptoms.
- Ah, the old catch-21.Copy !req
359. 21, 22, whatever it takes.Copy !req
360. Ow! Shit!Copy !req
361. Jesus Christ, you are crazy!Copy !req
362. Yeah?
Would a crazy person do this?Copy !req
363. No, no, no, no, wait!Copy !req
364. Yes...Copy !req
365. - No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Hey, what the...Copy !req
366. Emergency. Med lab.Copy !req
367. - What emergency?
- Well, it has been almost a minuteCopy !req
368. - since Archer got some attention.
- You're just a mess.Copy !req
369. - Holy shit! Look!
- Oh, my God! Come on!Copy !req
370. Come on, come on,
come on, come on!Copy !req
371. Argh!Copy !req
372. Come on, come on,
come on, come on,Copy !req
373. come on, come on,
come on, come on!Copy !req
374. - Why the hell is it so long?
- Space phrasing.Copy !req
375. - That's just how it comes!
- Twofer.Copy !req
376. Oh, my God,
just reset it, Dr. Science!Copy !req
377. Will you shut up?Copy !req
378. If I mess up,
I have to start all over again!Copy !req
379. Sterling, stop!
Do you hear me?Copy !req
380. Stop it this instant!Copy !req
381. What are you doing?Copy !req
382. My frickin' tit!Copy !req
383. - Sterling!
- A Tennessee titty twister?Copy !req
384. Whoa!Copy !req
385. Well, how do ya like these titties?Copy !req
386. - Lana? Are you all right?
- I...Copy !req
387. I think so.Copy !req
388. - Ugh, my magazine's not.
- Shut up. And, Pam, Gillette...Copy !req
389. throw his ass in the brig!Copy !req
390. Yeah, well...
I guess we'll see about that!Copy !req
391. Huh?
Pfff. The brig.Copy !req
392. Like, where do they get off?Copy !req
393. They're the ones running around
changing clothesCopy !req
394. and shooting people in the neck
with dartsCopy !req
395. and... eating
perfectly good magazines.Copy !req
396. You know?
I mean, that's crazy.Copy !req
397. I mean, right?Copy !req
398. - Yes, sir.
- Yeah. Thank you. Mmm.Copy !req
399. God, that's good.Copy !req
400. Wait, are... are... are you
supposed to be here?Copy !req
401. - No, sir.
- Huh. Now, that's disconcerting.Copy !req
402. Yes, sir.Copy !req
403. - Synced and corrected by f1nc0 -
- Re-synced by darthfrede -
www.addic7ed.comCopy !req